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>What is Flutterrape?
Flutterrape is a collection of stories about ponies trying to have sex with Anon, the only human in Equestria. While the title implies that it is Fluttershy trying to rape Anon, others may follow in her stead and attempt their own versions of rape. There are different versions of Flutterrape, but most are lighthearted stories about the ponies failing in their comical attempts to get into Anon’s pants. Just because your story has Anon in it, doesn't mean it fits in this thread. Check other threads (AiE, RGRE etc) about story content before posting.

>It's been 9 years, how is this thread still alive?
A perverse mixture of Necromancy and spite.

>How do I start writing?
Use your imagination, you nitwit. Additionally, brush up on your grammar and abandon your standards.

Writing Guides:
Clever Dick's Tips For Short Stories -- https://ponepaste.org/1274
Driverbang's Writing Guide -- https://ponepaste.org/1275
Navarone's Writing Rules -- https://ponepaste.org/1276

For additional information, lurk. There used to be a Writer's Guild, but it died. So many threads have died, but only Flutterrape has remained. We shall always remain. We are bound to the fate of the board as a Lich is bound to its phylactery.


Masterlist: https://ponepaste.org/user/FlutterrapeGeneral
Author List: https://ponepaste.org/1270
FIMfiction Group: http://www.fimfiction.net/group/211640/flutterrape
Request Bin: https://ponepaste.org/1268

Thread Archive: https://desuarchive.org/mlp/search/text/Flutterrape/

Old thread: >>37448867
>"Pantpant... Anon... I just... huffhuff... ran around Ponyville five times, do you like how sweaty I am?"
"You smell like old dishcloths and chloroform. And I wouldn't even know what that smells like if it weren't for you."
>Fluttershy falters for a moment.
>Clearing her throat, she raises one of her forelegs to reveal a very sodden pit underneath.
>"N-No, Anon, you're just... panthuff... being modest! Look, there's so much sweat that you can see it running down in big globs... wheeze... you can drop the act and just ravage me right now, i-if you want."
"Hey! Get the fuck away from my couch, you'll stain it!"
>"B-But, Anon! I'm so slick and sweaty, so damp, just wait until you see how soaked my ass is right now. Just smell those pheremones in the air!"
"All I smell is a pony that desperately needs a shower. I'd let you use mine but after the 'marejizz in my shampoo bottle' incident I'm a little wary."
>"But if I shower, I'll... whew... huff... I'll wash off all this wonderful ambrosia... it's all for you, Anon... oh, geeze I'm really getting dizzy."
"Well it is ninety degrees out today. Did you even drink water?"
>"No, I had energy drinks to give me the energy to run around Ponyville five times without a rest. Uh... why are there two of you, Anon? Oh! Are you guys both gonna tagteam my sweaty holes?"
>Fluttershy stumbles around your lounge.
>Her eyes roll around in her head and she collapses right through the coffee table, totally unconscious.
>Rubbing your brow, you roll her up in the carpet and shove her into the corner of the room.
I was gonna say something about snowpitys but I liked this too much to follow through with it.

10/10 best way to start a new thread
This a public service announcement from the team at Flutterrape telling you stay hydrated.
Don't let molestation get in the way of your physical health.
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Yeeeah, work that grill baby.
That's a pretty good short anon.
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bump ya idjits
That's a pretty cute Apple.
Anyone else watch the new G5 clip?

i did, I'm desperate for more pone
Water is your friend.
Stops you from stinking.
Stops you from dying. Well, unless you drown in it, I suppose.
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>"Sniff my snowpities, Anon!"

Check in the box.
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Alright Fluttershy. If you want a man to rail you, I know the one that could match you in depravity
>"Are apples yer fetish, Anon?"
>She comes to your door and makes this face every morning
>she really wants it to be apples and isn't willing to settle for anything else
I'd like to see some more interactions between Momma Shy and Anon like in the leat thread. Something about her just makes my dick hard as diamonds.
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>She asks if its pears one day as a joke
>Anon says yes
She’s still pretty cute though.
>Applejack asks Anon if pears are his fetish.
>Anon replies, "Yes," for funsies.
>Applejack gets insulted , wheels, and kicks Anon like she's bucking an apple tree.
>Anon flies into the sky and disappears with a twinkle.
Team Anon's blasting off again.
I don’t know what else he could’ve expected.
That's one angry apple.
>Applejack is not a clever pony
>her attempts at guessing Anon's fetish petered out after a week
>"Is making foals your fetish?"
"You already asked if breeding, family raising, and pregnancy are my fetish. Isn't it all kind of the same?"
>It wasn't long before she resorted to crude subterfuge
>>Anon steps out his door to find a barrel labeled "Cydr" and a hand-written magazine labeled "hoomin porn" on a pile of leaves
>>a rope leads from the obvious trap to a nearby bush wearing a stetson hat
>when that failed she tried bribery
>"I'll give ya 2 bits a fuck."
"I'm only worth 2 bits?!"
>"I ain't made of money."
>finally she settled for the direct approach
>>AJ saunters up to Anon in the middle of the crowded market square
>>she shoves him against a wall and pushes her plush apple plot right onto his crotch
>"Ya like that, monkey boy? I don't mind if you go ape on me. Show me what you can do with that banana!"
"I think you just gave me monkey cancer."
>Anon's virtue wouldn't last a day, except that she never resorts to undisguised force
>"Us apple ponies know right from wrong. You'll come around eventually anyhow."
>so he's forced to endure her blunt wooing and tactless flirting
Honestly, probably 10 times more effective then Fluttershy
Maybe, but remember that Applejack can't use drugs.
>tries to put pills in his hayburger
>accidentally swallows some while holding them in her mouth
>tries to mouth-hold the sleepytime rag
>suddenly unconscious
Hey Fluttershy my fetish is watching mares juggle puffer fish, while riding a unicycle, wearing a Dr. Seuss hat and singing Bohemian Rhapsody. Do that and I will let you rape me.
She will do this and succeed, you sold your soul for a joke you dingus!
Would Applejack even try and drug Anon? I think the most she would do is make some really strong cider hoping to get Anon smashed so he finally agrees. It would count even if he was drunk, so he can't back out. Good luck convincing Applejack otherwise
Shout, I know you're lurking here.
Make it happen.
AJ has no idea why anyone would need drugs when they could just buck some apples
Basically hank hill when he mows the lawn.
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>"You can sleep with a unicorn, and you can sleep with a pegasus."
>"But you'll never get any sleep with an earth pony."
"So AJ, what'd you want to talk about"
>"Well Anon, I think it's time we talk about our relationship"
>"Would you kids like some apple pie?"
>"Thank you Granny, that'd be nice"
"Well AJ, I'd say our current relationship is just fine by me. I'm not really in the market for something serious right now."
>AJ turns to the kitchen
>"Granny, better make that pie al a mode"
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>asking the mare whos friends with a God of Chaos to do this when he could feasibly teach it to her within a day maximum
>especially when Discord would consider something like that to be the equivalent of a stroll through a field of flowers

Didn't think this one through did you?
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True dat.
flutter ape
Flutte rape?
Flu Terrapé.
That’s pretty fancy Anon.
Chest fluff=degenerate furry. Go die
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Shouldn't you be busy necking yourself because of the snowpony thread.
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>"Anon, over here, quick! No time to explain, just get in my box!"
There's very clearly a hole underneath that box, Fluttershy could not possibly fit her sizable backside into the space suggested without considerably bulging the cardboard.
"What, no time!?"
>Anon looks at the corner of his vision, see's timer at 12:34
"Oh shit I'm behind WR pace"
>Anon starts rolling into the nearest building
>Wall Clips and Flutters never see's him again
>Last she heard he somehow ended up in Manehattan from improperly wrong warping
>Now he's softlocked and couldn't get world record
>That's what he gets for not going Flutter%
WHy yes, ponies ARE furry. So nice of you to notice.
That's a pretty small box for a lot of Flutter.
Pinkie is teaching her toon force abilities. Give it some time and she’ll be able to paint a highway tunnel onto a wall and run through it like the Roadrunner.
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>"Get over here and get in MY box, Anon!"
I can't help but think that they mean something other than a cardboard carton when they're talking about their "box".
>Look anon I returned to my old ancestry. Are prehistoric things your fetish?
This is what caused the nightmare moon scenario to happen
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>Before you could ask why Fluttershy sinks into the box and disappears.
>Taking a peek reveals nothing but blackness.
>What the fuck?
>That box is much too small to have enough room for her yet it swallowed her whole with room to spare.
>There’s definitely some deviant trap in there.
>Some tentacle monster or restraining device ready to entangle you and leave you to the whim of that obnoxious yellow mare.
>But there’s some strange tantalizing allure to it.
>Even with the possibility of rape at hand there’s a seductive pull that makes you put one arm in the box.
>Oh boy if there was ever a day she was actually going to have you fall for one of these it’ll be today.
>As soon as your other arm goes in you can feel something grab your arms and yank you inside the box.
>Yup, it’s a rape box.
>Should have guessed.
“Why did I believe it would be anything…”
>Fluttershy stares at you with an innocent smile, in her shack.
>And now it was (You) who was waist deep in a box much too small to have enough room for you.
“…Else? Fluttershy, what is this?”
>Looking around you notice the shack is much dustier and neglected compared to the one you just left.
>Where there would normally be materials for one of Fluttershys schemes there was instead gardening tools and bags of feed and seed.
>And the box you were in was blue.
>”Follow me! Hurry!” She called in a hushed yell.
“Not before I get some idea as to what’s going on here, what happened to just guessing? That box fuckery is a neat trick but-“
>”Oh it’d be too hard to explain, just follow me before we’re too late!”
>Flutters gently pushed open the shack door and glanced around and upon deciding the coast was clear she waved for you to follow her.
>Pushing past the door revealed a simple two-story brick house.
>Even from behind the house looked impressive, the various windows having flourishing potted plants and several birdhouses hung from various spots in the brick wall that livened up what would essentially be a big birdhouse made of brick.
>There was even a big circular window at the base which Fluttershy was peeking through.
>She tilted her head towards it and for the first time ever you’re the one doing the peeping as she steps aside.
>The moment you look in you begin to realize this is more than just some random magic-box-fuckery.
>Inside was (You) but not (You) because you’re out here and he’s in there and-
>Sitting on a couch just underneath the window was your doppelganger.
>Still green, but wearing a pearl white tuxedo with teal blue bowtie he sat with arm around a yellow maned, pink coated pony who wore an all too familiar mane-style.
>Then he spoke and while it was odd to hear someone else speaking with your voice it wasn’t nearly as disturbing as what he would say.
>”Fluttershy, you know I love you, right?”
>”I bet I love you more than you do me!”
>”Actually, I was kind of hoping that because …”
>He stands and as he turns to face the mare you duck out of view.
>You wish they weren’t so close to the window so you would never have to hear yourself utter the unimaginable.
>”Fluttershy, will you marry me?”
>You glare at the Flutterrapist next to you who’s eyes are closed and is smiling, probably imagining you saying those words.
>There’s a brief moment of silence before a shrill squee and a torrent of yeses, I dos, and I wills before silence again.
>Pointing at Flutters you hiss to break her from her trance.
“You are seriously fucked up; you know that?”
>”What?! Look at what you’re denying yourself! We could be happy! They’re going to start a family!”
>The distinct sound of shoes being tossed aside and the pomf of couch cushions punctuate her statement.
“What is this? A vision of Fluttershy future? A simulation? Either way you’ve been peeping on these poor folks for how long?”
>Giggling echoes from inside the house.
>”It’s not peeping! I was observing. Twilight called it a parallel universe. She gave me the box.”
>Masculine groaning and feminine moaning intertwine as they erupt from inside.
“Then you have to know that this isn’t a possibility in our universe. Some incalculable difference made this world the way it is and you’re sitting here getting off to it because it’s unobtainable back home!”
>Something is slamming the couch into the wall.
>”But if I can figure out what that difference is, maybe I can finally find your fetish! Maybe you’ll finally stop resisting and we can rut like them! Be happy!”
>The cacophony of sounds grows louder and more intense.
“And even if you did we couldn’t be happy! We’re not them! How many times did this Fluttershy try to rape this Anon? I bet zero!”
>The Anon inside says something but only “come inside, Fluttershy” is intelligible.
>”Because you won’t let me in, Anon!”
>The Fluttershy inside barrages the Anon with a hundred-dozen “I love you”s.
“That’s because I don’t fucking like you!”
>A finale of a shrill muffled scream and an exaggerated moan end the conversation.
>You both look to the window and refuse to argue any further with nothing to drown it out.
>In a hushed yell your Fluttershy shoots back, “I’ll find out what it takes to change that.”
>She begins to sneak off to the shack muttering to herself and you follow close behind.
>Once you reach it you finally can catch what she’s saying as she swings open the door.
>”I swear, you offer the world to a stallion and it’s never e-Eep!”
>You poke your head in and discover what startled Foddershy.
>A blonde coated, orange maned, cowboy hatted pony turning to face you.
>”Ah, there y’are! I figured you’d be back soon. You two hardly ever use this ol’ thing unless you’re workin’ on something. Need any help?”
>She eyes you both up and down before giggle-snorting.
>”Unless you need help with them ridiculous get-ups! Don’t let Rarity see you in that Anon!”
>Before you can come up with an idea as to why it’d be a bad idea to do so, you ask,
>”D’uh, I dunno, because the Element of Honesty is gonna honestly tear into you about why that suit yer wearing is the ugliest thing she’d ever made. Why ya wearing it anyhow?”
>Fluttershy quietly mumbles “Honesty?” as you try to come up with a convincing lie.
“I’m just wearing it because…I don’t mind it getting dirty?”
>She nods and tips her hat to that.
>”I getcha. Now that I look at it again, that’s a nice look for you Fluttershy.”
>”T-thank you, Applejack.”
>”Quiet as Dash today ain’tcha? Don’t mention it! So, whatchya workin’ on? I’m sure an extra pair of hooves will help a-plenty!”
>Just as you make the connection you can see Fluttershy’s eyes widen at the same realization.
>”Actually, Applejack… I hate to say it but I forgot my element, what is it again?”
>”Well I reckon it really is that hot out today. Are you sure you don’t want to take a minute and have some water? Last thing I wanna do is go to Princess Luna and tell her the Element of Loyalty keeled over in the heat-“
>Immediately Fluttershy flew past the Parallel Applejack, grabbed a pair of shears, and dived into the blue cardboard box.
>You begin to chase after her and just as you put a leg in the box the poor confused mare behind you asks,
>”Anon! What in tarnation got into her? Where’d she go?”
>Putting your other foot in and holding yourself up you answer quickly,
“There’s no time to explain. Don’t let ANYONE near this box.”
>You let go and let the box take you back to your own universe.
>Chasing Fluttershy to stop her assassination attempt on one of her best friends in a bid to take their place as the Element of Loyalty in order to get into your pants?
>A hundred times more normal than the thought of you in a nice brick house, getting married to and…
>Fucking Fluttershy.
A rape box is still a rape box, even if there's a parallel universe in it.
Nice green m8
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She refers to it as her "portable rape dungeon".
Whatever else is fucked up about my life, I go to bed every night, grateful for the fact that I am not an insurance salesman.
Great job.
>Oh anon I'm *cough cough* sick and the only *cough* cure is...contact...with a human being. Please you have to umm help me *cough* I don't think my poor little lungs can take anymore.
I fully know she's lying but the pajamas and disheveled hair combo compels me to cuddle her and feed her soup regardless. It's too powerful.
her whole body is her mane now
You can't touch her or it will spread
Hes the sheriff
>and we're frozen in iron
Nice, kek'd when I realised they were in Sneed's
Go blog about your miserable life somewhere else, you pathetic loser.
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Shut up and buy some insurance.
Rape rates being what they are today, you can't NOT afford the premium.
I don't trust that butter at all.
Probably laced with rohypnol and viagra.
I would be more worried about where it came from and why she's so desperate to get rid of it
Not entirely.
When firm, it's too cold. When warm, it's too soft.
So at least we know she hasn't been using it as a dildo.
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>"Challenge accepted."
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>Well Anon? What's the holdup?
linky or ur stinky
>Fluttershys mom got her husband due to successful antics
>Fluttershy can't replicate it to save her life
artist:nozukz, posey shy, necklace
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Thank you kind anon
oh my
Oh sweet Celestia, she did it! Oh fuck!
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Alright, who gave in?
It was you wasn’t it
It can’t be
For once I’m actually not too worried about needing to keep the thread alive when something big leaks.
Surely she can't get jealous of her mom.
I don't understand why does she want to fuck me? What did I do?
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>I don't know what ya mean, Anon. Fluttershy don't like ya! Why don't y'all come with me to the barn and we can talk about it...
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There's no better place for your child than Fluttershy's belly
Fluttershy we know that's you. Give us back our semen
What about Applejack's? Or even Rarity's?
>this bad boy can hold up to 2 foals for 11 months
>its so comfortable on the inside its like a cloud covered in cotton candy
>these foals will not only be FED but also walk out happy, healthy and ready for the world
>so put your babies right here in the Flutter Shy #3000 the guaranteed way to continue YOUR bloodline
>Fluttershy keeps supervising you all the time because humans are an endangered species, since you are the only one in Equestria.
>In order to solve this, she contacts Princess Twilight to summon a female human so you two can procreate.
>The one she summons just so happens to be an ex you broke up with because she also kept trying to rape and take advantage of you.
>You now have a choice: screw Fluttershy or screw your ex. You aren’t leaving Fluttershy’s house without doing either.
Wat do?
Fluttershy, since at least she has morals
I'd make sure they knew exactly what the cunt did too
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>Having an ex.
Yellow hooves typed this post.
I'm sure many of the Anons here have suffered from questionable judgement from time to time.
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Hah! Losers.
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>"Oh, Hi, Anon!"
>"I'm the Element of Kindness!"
>"Comfy vibes and sweet dreams will be yours tonight!"
>But only if you reply to this post with "Goodnight Fluttershy"
>A k-k-kiss would be nice, too!
Goodnight Flutters
>Kisses Rainbow Dash's ponut
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Keep your comfy vibes and your sweet dreams you hussey
Who's the father?
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From drawthread
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y'all must be pullin my leg thinkin' I wouldn't notice the thread on page 8.
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AppleJack, please calm down.
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Alright now, don't let it happen again
There's no better place for you than Fluttershy's belly.
She found me vore sketchbook...
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>"Anon will be completely infatuated with me after drinking this!"
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she's too close to guessing the fetish.
is it proper to even call pregnancy a fetish? i guess the sexualization of the belly can be construed as such, but i just want a family.
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>interdimensional broadcasting
>the only human to go to Equestria is a guy with no interest in the ponies
>you can tune in and watch a Truman show about this guy who doesn't want anything to do with the mares throwing themselves at him
first off, checking those triple dubs

second off, while pregnancy is a fetish some people have (don't ask me why) you might have a fetish for breeding, or the act OF impregnating/being impregnated.
Then again, you could just be a normal human with a natural desire to continue your bloodline. Not everything has to be a fetish.
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no no, im definitely super into impreg
at least its not unbirth
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A get like this demands a response. Yeah, I think pregnancy is a fetish, but one based in a mans deepest most biological desire to father children and pass on his genes. I guess in your case, all Fluttershy has to do is convince you that she'd be the best mom out of all the other mares in Equestria. Good luck.
At least your honest Anon. You do you and impregnate your waifu when you get to your Equestria.
“Your Highness, you do know what you’re doing is illegal, right? In order to pawn that off on me, you’ll need a liquor license from the state that governs this place and have your cauldron inspected by the local Board of Health. So if you try pawning that off on me, you’ll be spending the next few years behind bars.”
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anon is a terrestrial
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A-fuckin-men. it's her. it's always been her.
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"Guards, apprehend this mare. She's trying to force me to consume illicit substances of questionable origin."
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>"I dunno, human. If the Princess of Friendship wants you to do something, you probably should."
"I'll lick your ponut if you arrest her."
The guards of Equestria make stormtroopers look competent. They'd arrest themselves and forget the key was in their pocket.
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>"Alright we've heard enough. Monkey, we /strongly/ suggest you drink that potion the princess has so generously made for you and drink it. There will be no mare ponut licking here, unless it involves you and the princess!"
>try an explain your micro/analvore/transformation fetish to Fluttershy in the hopes she'll think you're a weirdo and leave you alone
>"Well, uh. We could talk to Twilight, a-and she could turn you into a breezie. A-and..."
>Fluttershy's face reddens excitably and she trails off, squirming uncomfortably in her seat
>Now you have to worry about her slipping you something
"You'll never catch me."
>Trips down Twiggle's massive staircase
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>anon after the decades of advances and attempts from Eqeustrias population
Ending 1 of 5 unlocked. You're a clumsy fool.
<“911, what’s the emergency?”
“Yes. There is a mare in here who is trying to get me to drink what appears to be illegal alcohol. Could you please get a SWAT team or ATF here? It’s beginning to escalate.”
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>"Good evening sir, I'm detective Nightwing, and this is officer Snowy. What seems to be the issue? Something about you not drinking a potion made by the princess?"
“Please come this way. There is someone operating an illegal distillery and I need you to prevent her from keeping me prisoner here.”
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>The ponice follow you into Twilight's castle, much to her dismay.
>"Uh, officers, please! I wasn't doing anything illegal!"
>They remain silent, following Anon to your room of spells and alchemy.
>Upon arriving, he immediately points out a boiling cauldron filled to the brim with the concoction you've conjured up.
"This is it, officers."
>the detective examines it closely.
>"Nothing illegal here."
>"Oh yes indeed," she goes on, "this potion is non-alcoholic."
>"We'll be taking our leave, sorry to disturb your night, princess."
>"Uhm, oh. Oh! Of course, officers. Can I actually ask a favor?"
>"Of course, princess."
>"Can you hold him down and keep his mouth open while I force this down his throat?"
>"Yes, your highness."
"Wait, what!? Fuck y'all!"
>You attempt to make an escape but you're no match for the speedy ponice.
>They bring you to the ground, holding you in place and prying open your mouth.
>"Hold still, stop resisting!"
"You aint shit, YOU AINT SHIT!"
>A bottle of love juice is brought to your lips by Twilight, who has an eager look upon her face.
>"Open wide~."
>The officers hold open your mouth and lock your head between their legs, rendering you helpless while the poisonous, mind altering brew is dumped down your gullet.
>The rest of the night is filled with your being so uncontrollably in love with Twilight that you have to regularly take water breaks in between love-making sessions due to the intensity and the amount of sweat you let out.

Ending 4 of 5 unlocked. Can't trust the ponice.
That may not happen at all, especially if they are bound only to obeying lawful orders... and the Princess isn’t in their chain of command. The people of Ponyville would quickly push to abolish the police.
They're very corrupt, Anon.
You don't quite understand how monarchies work, do you?
Yes, I do. I had to learn about them in 5th, 6th, and 9th grade world history. And why wouldn’t the monarch be arrested for breaking her own laws or applying it selectively to the people? One of the monarchies I had to learn about was that of France and we all know how that ended up: with, as Alex Winter puts him, a “short, dead dude” eventually taking over.
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>on page 2 when I check.
Proud of ya, keep it up now.
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Pleasants will take infinite abuse so long as they're fed and entertained
Given that horseland has been near utopian for a millennium, they'd be more in favour of an absolute monarchy/triarchy than anything democratic
I believe that it is canon that they have a kind of parliamentary system and rules that even monarchs must follow. If such a scenario like the one mentioned happened, I think there would be a huge scandal on Princess Twilight and there would be a massive revolt against her if she doesn’t get tried for aiding and abetting a rape or impeached for abusing the powers of her office.
That is of course implying sunbutt wouldn't just censor the incident and sweep it under the rug, killing anon if need be
Status quo and stability is Celestia's fetish
You don't run a government for over a thousand fucking years, with foreign nations fucking about as they see fit, without some wetwork now and again to keep shit on an even keel
That’s assuming that it doesn’t leak to the press or perhaps during a court martial proceeding, initiating a Streisand Effect.
Disgusting furry scum.
that'd just make her even more dangerous
One moment you start to feel drowsy in your home, the next moment, you find its been a year, you're an infant again, and now have bright pink hair
Be careful, if she decides to stop giving it after their foal is born, he might leave. Then their foal will become a self hating pony supremacist mutt with strong magical powers.
>Twilight accidentally creates pony Voldemort
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the fuck goin on in here now
Nothing AJ, nothing at all
Oh god she's gonna find my horde of Pears Monthly magazines.
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>"Enough screwing around, Anon. Get over here and take what's coming to ya!"
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>"Hey, you're that human guy, huh? Been hearing about you from Rainbow Dash talking about how her friends is always trying to guess your fetish or whatever. How about I find out what it is through practical application~?"
“I’ll complain to your CO and you’ll be in for an Article 15, if not an Article 120, hearing before that happens.”
>Heavily implying the chain of command will give enough of a shit to do the paperwork and process out one of their only Drill Instructors.
Theres no doubt about it, Anon. Not a matter of if, but when with a pushy, go-getting mare like her.
Her rank seems to be at least O-3 or O-4 if what I see of her rank insignia is correct. She would be held to a higher standard and there would be less of a need to immediately replace her if her CO could theoretically fill in for her.
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It seems as though someone in this thread is suffering under the illusion that justice is some sort of a right for weird monkey-creatures.
>the pony sticks her head in through your window
>like wayyyy in
>her neck is giving giraffes size envy
>it's a major invasion of privacy
Are you sure that it’s an illusion if “everycreature” policies are in effect?
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When you get up that high you make friends. She'll be fine. But you won't
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>"Once you go horse, you'll never reverse course!"
*take hat
OK bye
Welp, that's one way to catch a beat-down in addition to a vigorous raping.
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>"Ya'll think I've never had to rustle up some cattle even after a hard day's work? C'mere, monkey boy!"
>ywn take appul's nose from her and fart on it to give her a coughing episode and enough time for you to get away
You’re just inviting her to roughhouse you and fart in your face for comeuppance, Anon.
Everyone knows a mare won’t go near someone whos inside their “Anti Mare Circle”.
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>H-how did you find out about this form of magic?? REMOVE that circle at once!
even the magic of your trips cannot sway me harlot. The circle shall remain unbroken.
She would never do that since the chase is her fetish, not like flutters though
>Anon? Every time I try to get near you, I get shocked, and it feels like I'm choking. I think its this circle thing. Can you get rid of it please?
I'm sorry Lyra, I really am. But there are some things that NEED to be done. I must protect myself from the wretchedness of those mares that would wish to rape me. I Pray, forget me and live with Bon-Bon. Bon-Bon will keep you safe. Do not weep for me young mare, for I am all ready raped.
>*tosses 100 pound bag of oats into the circle*
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>"Say, that is a really spiffy circle. Would be a shame if something... happened to it."
>Your carefully crafted circle is washed away by a sudden downpour of chocolate milk.
>"Ladies, bon appétit!"
Is there another archive for the greens? ponepaste is kill
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ARE YOU CRAZY? A dirt circle won't stop those molesters! I'm running for my virginity!
>It was Potassium Chlorate
What the fuck happened to it this time
The circle works on mares but attracts kirins and griffons who will be drawn to you the moment they sense the circle's been complete. It'll be like dumping a 7000lb male elephant seal carcass into an ocean of tiger sharks. And during the scuffle they'll knock you out of the circle and the mares will have their fun. Didn't think of that did you?
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>Check again after a long day of workin the farm
>Thread on page 1
Y'all gettin a free barrel of cider this season if you keep it up.
Heck I might could bother Granny Smith to whip up some apple fritters in the mornin.
Proud of ya, goodnight now.
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I've got my anti-rape safety suit on.
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Mares can't punch through this
Looks like Ponepaste is back.
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Slow thread is slow.
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Slow board is slow.
I guess everyone's still trying to figure out what to think of G5.
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>"Don't run that only wants to make you molest you more!"
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Today, I will remind them...
What a turn off.
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>"You said WHAT monkey-boy?!!"
Bitch I said I'm gonna go fuck Applejack and you can't do shit about it.
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>"Glad to hear you've finally come to your senses, Anon. Now git them trousers off."

Achievement Unlocked: Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire
Oh you must've misheard me, what I actually said was "bye"
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>"Oh, you wanna do this the hard way?"
>"We'll do it the HARD way!"

Bad End
>You know umm anon fun fact about pony biology but our bodies require alot of salt. No its true, you see we require about 3 tablespoons of salt a day just to survive and its so hard to come by. You human creatures sweat up a storm and you're just so natural at it that it makes us ponies insatiable. Just walking alone on a nice day is enough for a few mares alone to survive on. So you see when I hit on you its for survival reasons not sexual harassment. I need my salt anon so please just do some exercises and then let me lick you all over. You don't want me to suffer from hyponatremia as Twilight calls it do you anon?
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>Oh and if you don't mind I also brought a few dozen friends too. They're suffering from salt deficiency too. Come and get him girls!
This one asshole wrote some stories about this...
“Just get some Diet Coke from Berry Punch and stop sitting on my face.”
Easily one of my favorite Wino stories.
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This quite frankly.
What a silly little diving cap.
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>"Why y'all on page 8 again?"
>"Am I gonna have to take you to the shed and straighten you out, monkey-boy?"
Why drink coke when you can chase the human to get him sweaty, lick him while he rests, then chase him again rinse and repeat. You get the thrill of the hunt and your daily sodium.
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The Kirin figured that out long ago.
No AJ, it wasn't what it was, it wasn't what it was.
>"I think it's high time for a good, old-fashioned, pelvis-bruising, sloppy makeout session."
I hope Mshake comes back soon, I need more of Anon's military shenanigans.
>Monk Breaking
>Directed by Anoniq Nonysheed
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When did the apple posters get deputized for bump patrol?
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Because Anon can run away from them, whereas a can of Coke can’t. A bird in the hoof is worth two in the bush.
Humans can’t outrun ponies.
I never said “outrun”; I only said “run away from”. He could perhaps hide in a bush somewhere as they all try to find him.
They can just sniff him out.
There's really no escape.
Just tell them your fetish and bang them anon. Its just way too much stress for one anon to handle. Bang them or at least specifically, the one who is the color of a dandelion with a mane that is the color of fresh bubblegum. Shes like the pony Snow White and I think I saw her singing to hummingbirds once.
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Nice try, Flutterbutter.
Pour some ground pepper where you just were so she snorts it and loses your trail
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They’re ponies, not dogs.
MLPFiM : The Big dick energy
by Flippy nips

It was a darj and snowy night. Testaclese had been bored, so bored, you wooldn’t bleve it.
He had been there together in the room with Spike and Rainbow Dash. Normally they could perfectly entertain each other(as they very much did each other the night before), but not this time. And to make matters worse, it was almost impossible to go to town. It was too snowy, too dark.

“Urgh,” said Rarity's main simp, “I wish Discord would attack. At least we’d have something to do. the athletic pegasus agreed, “I agree,” she said and started throwing mobile phone at the wall, just to catch it again when it bounced off. “Uuuurgh,” she then said as well, because she agreed with the little dragon, “Don’t you know anything to do, Testaclese?”
"Well, I could do you again." Testaclese said .
Rainbow Dash liked that very much and for a moment, they did each other (under the aproving gaze of Spike who whipped out his Tool and played along on the beat of the others But admittedly, that only entertained them for the next three hours. - - - -
---Something else had to be found, Testaclese knew

Testaclese’s gaze went down the room, past Crusifix and a stack of anime collections. Then His eye fell onto a lone empty bottle still stuck in the little dragon’s ass they had used the evening before
I know,” said Testaclese, “How about we play...............spin...the....BOTTLE!
“What a superb idea”
“Oh year!”
Pinkie Pie and Snips also peaked up “Yeaaaah!”

So they all sad down and Testaclese took the bottle first. Hilariously, it landed on the grey unicorn, but Testaclese thought the grey unicorn was quite a bit too creepy and really didn't want to kiss the man. He hoped the others might have mistook it for landing on the blue pegasus, but judging the howls of laughter and the rising anticrepation in the room, they probably didn't.

"But but dont you all see it really landed on Rainbow Dash?"
"Laaawl no, u shuld kiss Snips," said Rainbow Dash. The fact that she said it made the endowed one feel rejected :(

But then, all the sudden.... Discord attacked MG! We are almost there", Testaclese said after traveling for ages.
"GOOD GRIEF, I didnt think we had journed this far!"
They sat down for a rest break and to plot their trajectory into the evil ones HQ base.
"WE must find the Big dick energy.
"I forgot all about that", said Testaclese of the Dry Balls, who was generaly considered a moron, so we all laugh at them for forgetting.---
She still has superior officers who aren’t her friends.
---HAHA! Funny hu? "HAHA, you remember now"
What happened next was soo cool you will like it a lot, basicaly, it went like this: Only it was even cooler because i didnt have to write it! When it was in my head the words didnt get in the way. btw, Excuse me if i skip the words occasionaly, its to save me time.
Ok, after they finnished the bee hive they went to the base where the final battle started when they got there. Dont worry! The bad guy dies!
After climbing the mountain they finally arrived at the the draconequus's lair. It was the most epic most phalicly penis shaped tower they had ever seen! And atop they heard the roar of Discord's fearsome dragon No longer owuld it singe villagers and eat their pets. It would finally pay for its crimes !

"Greatings mortals!" the dragon growled. It wooshed around and when it saw our heroes, it breathed in fire deeply and spewed it at them! But our heroes were quicker than that, and with the spell stored inside the Big dick energy, Testaclese used his Throbbing boner boomerang attack and unleashed it upon the dragon!
The scared dragon fled and the heroes could get in.

Then at the end of a long stairway, the endowed one saw the draconequus furnishing an incantation!
Once more Testaclese unleashed the Throbbing boner boomerang attack but it had no use!

"Hahahaha! siad the draconequus. "Yur powers do nothing against my super-evil. And you don't even know why.... "Why?"
"I'll tell you why!" says Discord with lingering evil in his voice. "It's because the dragon.... is secretly your father!"
"My father?! Noooooo! What have you done?!"
"I have turned your father into a dragon!"
"Noooo what have you done?!"
"I have turned him into a dragon! And now you will suffer too and be enslaved by this special spell I have prepared just for you!"
And with that last sentence, the chaotic draconequus pointed a single finger at Testaclese and a purple blinding streak of lighte went from his fingertip, onto the Testaclese of the Dry Balls.---
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---"Arrggh!" Testaclese muttered in pain. "Arrthuhgh!"
Testaclese"! said Rainbow Dash, "Noooo!"
And the little dragon ran towards Discord and reasoned reasonably with Discord. The spell stopt absuddenly! And with that, Testaclese's dad was also freed from his prison in dragon form!

But he decided to stay a dragon because that was awesome. But he was no longer evil! So they all went ontop of the dad and flew back home. The end!
wut the hay
What if my fetish is being asked periodically what my fetish is while the pony asking is frustrated from repetition?
>"Good morning, Anon!"
>"I was just wondering if your fetish might be ... um, why are you looking at me like that?"
Is it me or has the green well been unusually dry lately?
Guess the writefags' pre-pandemic jobs started coming back.
I don't know what caused this but not being able to hit back after clicking a quoted post or reply to go back to the original post is annoying as fuck.
I'm sure the writers will all be back sooner or later, shit happens.
You must become the writefag this thread needs
Feck it.
Gonna repost some old Neb green.

>"Tell me, Anonymous, how has your life been in Ponyville?"
>You let your shoulders sag, the sun on your face and pleasant breeze passing through the immaculate garden doing little to lift your mood.
"Celestia, it's horrible."
>She frowns.
>"What in Equestria could be causing you so much grief?"
"Fluttershy." you say with a grimace.
>The mare across from you raises her eyebrows in surprise.
>"Fluttershy? As in, 'Fluttershy', Fluttershy?"
>"The quiet one? Yellow, pink hair, far too many extensions, aversion to stallions? That Fluttershy?"
"The same, yes."
>"How odd. Tell me everything."
>She raises her teacup to her lips, a smirk etched on her features.
>You return her mocking expression with a sour one, like an old man sucking a lemon.
>You readjust yourself on your cushion.
"Promise not to laugh?"
"God dammit, Celestia."
>"A ruler must be honest with her subjects, as such, should you tell me of anything that I might find amusing, I shall laugh at you until I am satisfied."
"Oh, you're so kind and thoughtful."
>"Your sarcasm is always appreciated."
"Harr de harr, but really, she's a nightmare."
>"How so?"
"Get this, she wants to be my girlfriend."
>Celestia, to her credit, doesn't laugh.
"Yeah. You were saying about her having an aversion to stallions?"
>"Well from Twilight's reports and my own experiences with her, I thought she was... well, on the other side of the stable door."
"Me too, she goes to private spa sessions with Rarity every week for God's sake."
>"So I've heard, but she admitted she was interested in you?"
"I wouldn't call it 'interested', as such. More like a rabid, uncontrollable lust."
>"Now you're just having me on."
"I could -not- be more serious, get this, the first time she kissed me, she orgasmed."
>Celestia blinks a few times.
>"The first...? Anonymous, just -what- have you been getting up to with that mare?"
>Her grin returns in full force.


"Knock it off with the grin, darling, I'm getting to it."
>"Well don't let me stop you~"
>She floats a small, delicate plate of frail looking biscuits up to you.
>You gratefully pluck a few off and stuff them in your mouth, talking over your food.
"Sho it shtarted like this..."
>Swallow your treat and wash it down with a quick sip of tea.
"I'm sat at home reading the newspaper as always."
>"How boring."
"Shush, so I'm reading the paper and I hear a knock on my door, bear in mind that it's like nine in the evening."
>"That doesn't sound good."
"I walk on over, and she's stood on my doorstep, alone. So I'm instantly suspicious of her, and ask her what she wants, and guess what she says?"
>"May I come in?"
"Fist my asshole raw."
>You spend the next few moments wiping tea and horse spittle off your face.
>Celestia, having finished smacking her chest with a hoof, gasps for breath and wipes her mouth in a very un-regal fashion.
"I swear to you I'm not joking."
>"Th-that's absurd! Stop making things up!"
"Celly, really, I'm not playing around here."
>She stares wide eyed at you before shaking her head and lighting up her horn.
>"I'm afraid we need something stronger than tea if this is going to continue."
>The teacups and probably expensive china is swept off the low table between you both and is quickly replaced by two large glasses and a sizeable bottle of Canterlot Throatsorch.
>It's called Canterlot Throatscorch because it scorches your throat when you drink it.
>And it's made in Canterlot.
>Ponies don't like being ambiguous with names.
"So I'm just like, trying to process what she's saying to me, right?"
>Celestia nods as she pours a small amount of liquid into the bottom her glass.
"And I sort of just blurt out 'no'."
>"What did she say?"
"Well she started crying."
"Oh yeah, full on sobbing, right on my doorstep at nine in the evening."


>"I get the feeling that this story doesn't have a happy ending.
"Nothing involving Fluttershy has a happy ending."
>Celestia chuckles over her drink.
"Once she's done crying, she apologises and starts giving me the whole 'I don't know what I was thinking' shtick."
"Then she says 'I didn't mean to lead with that, I was supposed to ask you to eat me out first'."
>Celestia fills her entire glass.
"So at this point all I'm thinking is 'I thought this chick was into other chicks', but lemmie tell you, it gets far worse."
"Well because then she shows me her collection."
>"Collection? Do I really want to know?"
"Will you tell me to tell you anyway if I say you don't want to know?"
>"Yes, tell me."
>"You're right, I didn't want to know."
>She sighs and takes a quick gulp of her booze before rubbing her eyes with a hoof and giving you a weary look.
>"So at this point, Fluttershy, the timid Element of Kindness, has turned up on your doorstep at night-time with a collection of dildos, asking you to fist her and or lick her vagina."
>"Remarkable. Does the story end there?"
"Well no, because then she kissed me."
>"At this point I'm not shocked."
"Neither was I, until she moaned and sprayed pony juice all over my garden path."
"Right? So I pushed her away and told her to go home."
>"She didn't go home, did she?"
"No, she kissed me again and tried to offer me a dildo."
>"So when does the manticore show up?"
"I'm being serious about all this."
>"I don't believe you."
>"Well it's not so much that I don't believe you, it's that I refuse to as a sort of defence mechanism."
>She stares at her reflection in the dark brown drink before her.
>"I let her look after my pet phoenix..."
"I let her borrow a shirt, think how I feel."
>"What was the shirt like when you got it back?"
"That would imply that I got it back at all."


>"I think my bird incident is worse."
"I later found the shirt in a crusty ball stuffed under her pillow."
>The princess of Equestria abandons her glass in favour of the entire bottle.
"But that's not where this ends, so she's trying to give me a dildo right, just like stuffing it in my hands and mumbling about building bridges or some shit."
>Celestia burps and doesn't apologise.
>She must really be feeling it.
"I shove her away and tell her that no means no."
>"Did it work?"
"Did it fuck, she starts explaining to me that the special lube she has will allow the dildos to just 'slide right on in there like a snuggly bug all cosy and warm'."
>"That's a terrible mental image. Thank you for sharing it with me."
"Please remember that all this has happened in the space of like two minutes, and I'm still struggling to understand what this girl sees in me."
>"Maybe she was on drugs?"
"See, I thought that as well, and I told her that she needs to lay off whatever it is she was smoking."
"'You can't smoke love, Anon'."
>"I think I might get Cadance to outlaw love."
"It would be much appreciated."
>The mare shakes her bottle with magic.
>A light sloshing can be heard inside, so she tosses it over her shoulder and materialises another bottle.
"I finally get her to stop, and she just gives me this look, you know the one, you stand up for yourself and suddenly you're the bad guy?"
>"Oh Gods, the Royal Court for about fifty years after I banished Luna, they would -not- shut up about it."
"I tell her to, pardon my french, fuck off back to her shithole cottage and never bother me with her deranged antics again."
>"And so, the saga of Fluttershy being uncharacteristically lewd comes to an end!"
>She forces out a laugh.
>You give her a sad look.
>"You do understand that I'm only drinking this much because I gave this mare a superweapon and tasked her with defending Equestria, don't you?"


"It's okay, we all make mistakes; mine was moving out of the castle."
>"Please come back. Actually, don't; you're tainted."
"Thanks. So I locked the door and didn't hear from her for like a week."
>You take a well-deserved drink from your glass.
>Celestia manages to remove the bottle from her lips long enough to wipe it with a napkin and fill you up again.
"I go about my normal business, I was gonna write to you but I didn't want to bother you."
>"The Anonymous of the past was a kind and gentle soul, unlike you."
"Yeah well, you asked."
>"I wish I'd listened to Starswirl more about that time-travel magic."
"To be brief, I thought it was over, but it happened again. And again, and again, and again."
>"The same thing every night?"
"More or less, she'll change her approach each week. It's become a 'thing'. She shows up on my doorstep, tries to force herself on me and claim that she loves me, and sometimes try to leave a souvenir."
>"That sounds like it would get stale very fast. Also, a souvenir?"
"Anything ranging from sex toys to bags of hair."
>You stare off at a nearby tree, a distant look of pain in your eyes.
"She gave me nude pictures of herself once."
>Celestia purses her lips.
>"I'm pretty sure most ponies go naked anyway."
"She was wearing stockings in the pictures, which sort of made her look -more- nude than she already was."
>"Ah, I see your point. I never really understood how that works either."
"I have a box, you know."
>"Of nude pictures?"
"Sort of. It's full of Fluttershy's 'gifts'."
>"Why not get rid of them?"
"Because that would involve putting them in the bin, and I don't want the garbage collectors judging me."
>"Why not bury it all?"
"She digs them up again and mails them to me."
>"Mails them? As in through the post?"
"Yeah, luckily the mailmare doesn't know what any of it is."
>"What, is she mentally handicapped?"
"Actually I think she is."
>"Well now I feel awful..."


"You and me both, that's why God invented alcohol."
>With that, you both swig your drinks.
"Christ, I have to go home in a bit..."
>"You could always stay."
"I thought you said you didn't want me staying at the castle because I was 'tainted'."
>"Oh yes, I -did- say that, didn't I? Please leave immediately. Your presence disgusts me."
"Quit being a tyrant, I'm a man on the edge."
>"I wish I could understand your pain but I, ah, don't."
"Gee, Princess Celestia, you sure are a good shoulder to cry on."
>"In my experience, drinking is a better solution to life's problems than emotional outbursts."
"Is that why you're always swaying when you give your speeches?... is that why you're always swaying in general?"
>"I've had a serious alcohol problem ever since Luna returned. And since she was banished. And since she was born."
>Celestia ponders for a moment.
>"I think Luna is the reason I drink."
"Sheesh, and I thought my family hated me."
>"At least you won't live to see your ten thousandth birthday."
"You're right. My life is pretty great when compared to yours, huh?"
>"Now who's being the cold shoulder?"
"I suppose what we should take from all this is that Fluttershy is terrible and alcohol will always be there for us in our time of need."
>"We have each other as well."
>You smile affectionately at Celestia.
>She gives you a lopsided, very drunken smile back.
>"...Well until you die in seventy or so years."
"You always know just what to say, Celly."
>The two of you laugh together heartily, content in each others company and indulging in alcohol until the sun goes down and you're too tired to laugh anymore.
>At which point Celestia passes out and you have to carry her back into the castle, up 10 flights of stairs to her room, all whilst drunk, and in the dead of night.
>You did your back in doing all that.
>Celestia laughed at you when she woke up.
>Then vomited on your shirt.
>Fucking Celestia.

The End.

Ah a classic, I always loved celestials characterization in this one.
>Ape Taking
>Directed by Anoniq Nonysheed
>Documentary exposes the historical act of Ape taking, where ponies rape humans in front of others to dominate and punish them, and agendas behind modern forms of it
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Page 8?
This time you get Applebloom on a pogo stick.
>i'm a fagot l, look at me!
>Ape Taking never actually happened
>It was just political porn
>Ponies want nothing to do with humans and regret bringing them to Equestria everyday
Are there any FR stories with the grown up CMC?
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I know I been hard on ya lately, just makin sure y'all alright yknow?
Hours just trying to catch someone at their weakest moment so the rape goes better, I’m on to you.
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Nope, that ain't what I'm doin at all, Anon.
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Alright, I'm hittin the hay, don't die now. Goodnight.
You mean this guy? https://youtu.be/P-H0A8WDIGo
That’s pretty cute, but you’re not gonna trick me.
Applejack likes to make things hard on (You).
Page 10 right before I bed, huh?
Well fuck you, I pay attention sometimes! Bump!

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