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Previous thread: >>37477486

Sunny days are behind us Edition

Google Doc Archive: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gf8UOWR5eIfp8FqpAWt3EUrSCCocOWazrZlMiTJwAYs

Fauster's Story Archive: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XiJRe1NWl_kIoWsHssZ27BMV7bZAe1jgX59-dWggYkA/

Uh-hmmm's Prompt Archives:
https://ponepaste.org/1046

Remember not to save anything of value on pastebin.
Have a broken pastebin link? Replace pastebin.com with poneb.in
>>
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>>37510170
first for best NEET
>>
>>37510170
Lovely gif
>>
>>37510251
>Yes, you look like a complete freak and a total marecel.
>>
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>>37510257
>marecel
How come?! I'm the supreme gentlemare
>>
What is a Thundercunt the equivalent of?
>>
>>37510170
>Baby Come Back
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLtmmFjxSoc&ab_channel=Player-Topic
Been meaning to listen to this shit, thanks for the reminder, OP.
>>
>>37510304
of a chad thundercock
>>
>>37510170
I’m sure Sunn will come back.
>>
>>37510327
Oh, weird to me that it's a Trixie Thundercunt then, because Trixie is far from being chad.
>>
>>37510170
Why are the threads no longer being numbered? I imagine it will make it harder to keep track of in the Desu Archive.
Not that the search function is working at the moment.
>>
>>37510330
Never ever.
>>
>>37510330
he got propeller treatment like most of the good writefags
>>
>>37510462
Is there a list of dead writefags that we're waiting on somewhere?
>>
>>37510344
Homeboy, rgre hasn't been numbered in years.
>>
>>37510170
>Sunny days are behind us Edition
They're behind us when I see his death certificate dammit!
>>
>>37510482
Was it ever numbered? I've been here since late 2017 and haven't seen it numbered once.
Poor Anon must be really confused.
>>
>>37510482
it's easier to list the ones that still alive
just go on the archive
>>
>Magic is innate almost everything in Equestria
>it’s ability to manipulate the world around it to such a large degree necessitated the development of defenses against magic
>even the trees and small woodland critters have some sort of magical defenses, or at least a way to defend against aetherial manipulation
>Enter Anon, whose species has never encountered any magic before
>Unable to even defend against the natural aether in the atmosphere, he finds himself incredibly susceptible to magical influence
>Songs are a magical conduit for the atmospheric magic to destablize, typically in accordance with the presence of heavy magic conductors like extreme emotion, and are only supposed to be sung when needed
>However, since Anon is incapable of resisting this force like everything else, he finds himself constantly singing, as the magic forces through his body against his will, resulting in a constant drain on the aetherial resources in the immediate vicinity
>>
>>37510671
>>Songs are a magical conduit for the atmospheric magic to destabilize
I phrased this weirdly. Think of it like a lightning strike. When there’s a large build-up of ions in the atmosphere, eventually a flash of lightning strikes the ground, transferring the excess electrons into the neutral ground. Songs are like magical lightning.
>>
>>37510671
no
i dont like thing
>>
>>37510686
Sorry it’s not your typical porn post sir
>>
>>37510691
you better be
>>
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"So... what's going on, Twilight?"
>"Do you remember when Fluttershy was bit by a fruit bat?"
"Nope."
>"Well, she was bit by a fruit bat and had a... reaction. It's actually a not uncommon thing amongst ponies. You gain bat-like features and a love of fruit. It's called vampire sickness."
"Okay."
>"It's supposed to like the flu, you suffer for a few days before returning to normal. Unfortunately, it looks like Fluttershy received a much rarer strain; Royal Vampire Disease."
"Whoever names your horse diseases is a quake."
>"I agree, but lets get back to the point. Royal Vampire Disease is much more serious of a condition. Along with a extreme love of fruit, the victim also acquires a taste for blood."
"Spooky."
>"Very. It's also very contagious if a pony is bitten, which is a serious issue as I'm sure you understand. That, along with from what I've seen there's currently no cure puts us in a bit of a pickle."
"So what? Do we need to kill Flutters or something?"
>"Kill?! Sweet Celestia no. You need to go get her and bring her here. I bet with some study I can made a cure in a week or two."
"Me get her?"
>"Yes you."
"Why a poor little colt like myself?"
>"First off: you're not a colt. You make sure to point that out at every opportunity. Second: you're not a pony, meaning if she bites you you should be alright. She's at Sweet Apple Acres right now. Applejack told me she tried to attack her a little while ago, meaning you need to hurry before somepony gets bitten."
"I don't know..."
>"Anon. It's for the good of Ponyville."
"And what the heck has Ponyville done for me?"
>"Let you live in it for one."
"..."
>"..."
"..."
>"..."
"Fine, but how an I finding and catching her in that big ass farm?"
>"I thought about that actually. You need to wear some really tight pants and no shirt. Just walk around the trees saying "Ara ara" and she should could to you."
"Ara ara?"
>"Yes, but you need to say it like you mean it. I guess colts say that a lot in the comics she reads. She reallllly likes it"
"...Fine, but you better make me a knight or something after I bring her here..."
>>
>>37510697
Sorry sir, but I regret to inform you that I have lied. I’m not actually sorry. Sorry sir.
>>
>>37510671
>It's not even pretending to be RGRE
>>
>>37510820
>not realizing RGRE is also the autistic worldbuilding thread
lurk moar
>>
>>37510699
>>
>>37510170
Ignore haters.
Cuddle the Chaos Noodle.
>>
>>37510699
That ending caught me off-guard, nice.
>>
>>37510671
Could make for something interesting
>>
>>37510878
Don't pull that "lurk moar, only a newfag wouldn't accept my faggotry."
Autistic worldbuilding in RGRE is only acceptable when it's still an RGRE world.
>>
alright tonight's scene is (You) are renting Cherry Berry's hot air balloon for your anniversary date with Dash
remember we're on a time crunch and the Canterlot's Colt's Club wants their soap opera extra sappy
take 1. ACTION
>>
>>37510878
literal retard, you are
>>
Was brainstorming some story ideas, came up with Greek God kinda thing, since in RGRE usually itd be the mom who would walk out, id think itd be like a God pops in, fucks your dad, has a kid, bounces never to be seen again. Thought it'd be fun if Goddess Mom just pops in on one of your birthdays or something.
>>
Look, can you all just start shitposting again please? It'll bump the quality up.
>>
God i want to just get absolutely destroyed by a wild pack of mares. not like sexually but like you know... i reject their advances after thoroughly drinking them under the table and they get mad and follow me out and hit me over the head with a tire iron (or Equestria equivalent.) and i get coma'd for a while with my only company being Luna who is the literal definition of a marecel.and through the power of friendship Luna gets laid in the waking world
actually though i feel like Anon playing wingman to Luna would make for a fun green
>>
>>37510170
>oppic
How come Eris is so concerned about that? Wouldn’t toonforce allow her to become an N-dimensional being and see exactly what Anon has gotten into and intervene if necessary?
>>
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>>37510699
>>37510903
>"You're not a pony, she said."
>"If she bites, you should be alright, she said."
>As you feel shypone bite your arm and start to feel your entire body mophs into a fruitbat pony
>And now you got vampy flutterbutt that's cuddle up next to you with a very content smile on her face
>And you heard her muttering under her breath "mate" over and over
>>
>>37511514
Because it's cute ya dingus.
>>
>>37511514
>toonforce
Fuck off
>>
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>Whoever names your horse diseases is a quake.
Anon you hack, the correct term is quack!
>>
>>37511600
Nice
>>
>>37512005
>Anon gets the occasional brainfart and fumbles his words from time to time.
>Quack becomes Quake, Duck becomes Fuck (and perhaps vice versa) and so on and so forth.
>Zecora takes utter *delight* anytime she hears a fumble and corrects him with a rhyme, something that can either be utterly amusing, annoying or, in other cases, helpful as shit.
>It helps that she's a cute pony or Anon would be a little more annoyed.
>>
>>37510462
I’m just gonna have to really hope that’s not the case. I honestly wouldn’t be shocked if the guy that always bitches about us asking for Sunn back is actually him.
>>
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>>
I want to make this horse struggle to keep that grumpy frown on her face. I want to give her kisses so that she can't help but turn that frown upside down. I want other ponies to be a little off-put because the normally moody candy pony regularly has a big grin on her face. Maybe she doesn't think too highly of stallions because her best friend Lyra got kicked out of her herd for some bullshit reason. Or maybe she thinks they only cozy up to her to get free candy, and everyone knows stallions love sweets.
>>
>>37513000
So why the hell is Chrysalis going to fight Kragg from Rivals of Aether?
>>
What sort of horsie behavior could lead to conflict without it being an easily fixed misunderstanding plot? Something cultural that isn't self-explanatory, something that would need to be taught in order for Anon to pick up on it.
>>
>>37513249
most everything that is involved with RGRE. Herds, the changed gender roles and the expectations Anon now has on him due to those gender roles, the fact that he now lives in a monarchy compared to wherever he was before.
>>
>>37510878
>Anon is convulsing violently due to all the surrounding magic that he is absorbing?
>A group of construction workers mares are nearby, because of course they would be.
>one of the mares shouts to Anon, who is now puking a rainbow colored liquid.
>"Hey! How about you stop sucking all the magic and suck my teats dry instead."
>The mares high-five each other.
>>
>>37513438
Meant for
>>37510820
>>
>>37513438
Well, it's RGRE, but also retarded. So...congratulations?
>>
>>37513480
>it's RGRE, but also retarded
Wait, aren't those the same thing?
I could have sworn they were the same...
>>
>>37510671
Just fuck off already.
>>
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>tfw no professional horsewife that focuses on her career to the point of neglect
>>
>>37513981
you're supposed to take it as a challenge
though with harshwhinny i think all it'd take is a sandwich dangling on a hook
>>
>>37510251
Flurry as a horny weirdo is still the best characterization this thread has come up with
>>
>reading all of NOF's Pokemon shit
I like it
>>
>>37514350
Borne of Caution is shaping up to be the most popular pokemon fic of all time and for good reason. Borne of Desire also looks like it's going to be a hit. He also said he has most of a roadmap for Game of Pones and to expect more at some point.
>>
>>37514097
to be fair, overly sexist Luna is pretty good too
>>
>>37514403
>a roadmap for Game of Pones and to expect more at some point.

Where do you get these updates?
>>
>>37514408
His discord server
>>
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>>37514405
she doesn't even mean it two thirds of the time. it's just how colts were back in her day and Anon is one of maybe three males that still fit those expectations
>>
>>37514405
I always need more sexist Luna.
>>
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>>37510699
>"And what the heck has Ponyville done for me?"
>>"Let you live in it for one."
>"..."
Need more stories where Anon is called out on his shit when he gets too uppity.
>>
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>You are yet again Anon and you're furiously scrubbing your hands right now.
>In your haste to return to sleep, you forgot to wash your hands.
>As a result, the skin on your hands and fingers is irritated from the alicorn grease that got on them from your scritching session with Flurry.
>You've gotta get her acquainted with some soap...and fast!
>You have a plan already, but it's only day two of your new job. Payday is still a bit away.
>Meaning that plan is beyond your reach for now.
>You dry your hands and reread the scroll Candence gave you to find a project to begin with in the meantime.
>Hmmm...the hay-tender addiction seems simple enough.
>After being stuck in this world for over a year now, you've learned a really important fact about mares.
>One that seems nigh-universal.
>Mares are suckers for home cooking.
>You actually made the mistake once of letting it slip to Rainbow Dash that you can cook.
>She never stopped pestering you to feed her from then until you moved here.
>If the way to a mare's heart is through her stomach like they say, then you might have a shot to break the princess' addiction to 'hay-tendies'
>You still know your family recipe by heart, and it seems like a way to start off strong.
>After all, who doesn't like spaghetti?
>>
>>37514604
Who doesn’t look spaghetti
>>
>>37513042
isn't that a buff heracross?
https://e621.net/posts/732580?q=heracross
>>
>>37513981
That's not Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, tho
>>
>>37514403
He's one of the best writers out there. It's so hard to find stories with proper grammar and sentence structure, while still being entertaining with good characterization.
>>
>>37514413
How do I get in?
>>
>>37514423
You're right, if Anon were a proper and elegant stallion Luna wouldn't need to correct him. But she's more than happy to help.
>>
>>37514741
Its an open invite and the link is on all his various accounts. I don't want to post it here.
>>
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>>37514604
>>After all, who doesn't like spaghetti?
my body is ready
>>
>>37514604
>>You are yet again Anon and you're furiously scrubbing your hands right now.
>>In your haste to return to sleep, you forgot to wash your hands.
>>As a result, the skin on your hands and fingers is irritated from the alicorn grease that got on them from your scritching session with Flurry.
Holy shit, you actually took my shitty comment seriously!
I feel weirdly honored. Also, I'm happy you are continuing this, is nice.
>>
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>>37514604
Don't tell me...
Not the spaghetti!
Kidding. Make it extras saucy dear sir.
>>
>>37514604
So, are tomatoes poisonous to ponies or no? Otherwise he could make a carbonara with mushrooms instead of pancetta.
>>
>>37515124
Tomatoes can at least cause constipation and other problems so it's better for Ponies to *not* eat them at any rate.
>>
>>37515124
Of we're going off rules of memes, Cadence can more than likely eat any kind of pizza, and passed on the ability to Flurry, so tomato-based sauces should be A-OK.
>>
>>37515124
In one of the episodes Twiggy-piggy ate hayburgers with a less than healthy amount of suspiciously red sauce, same on the fries, so yes, poners can eat tomato and foods deriving from it.
Other restaurant patrons also ate it, so no 'muh alicorn metabolism' for you.
>>
>>37515352
I dunno m8, that red sauce could be a beet derived sauce or something.
>>
>>37514604
Very excellent
>>
>>37515124
The plant is, berries aren't. They can eat the parts that you do.
>>
>the picklemare tricked me again
>>
[Continued from https://ponepaste.org/5508#2302 ]

>”Herdwatcher Thistlehoof! Herdwatcher Wheat Graze!”
>The two mares swing around at the sound of Sagebrush’s voice, immediately sitting straight and jutting their chins out. Four days ago, the sight of the two earth ponies behind the large wall would’ve boggled you. After all, what good could guards do when behind a tall wall with no way to peer over?
>But your time integrating with the Marestrichtians has left you much more educated. As short as it has been.
>”Open the petreport for our guests to make their leave!” Sagebrush commands.
>There’s a slight moment of hesitation – a brief glance at Anonymous from Wheat Graze and a disappointed huff from Thistlehoof – before the herdwatchers get to work. You can’t help but take a small step toward the human.
>There’s that newfound warmth in your chest when you rub up against Anonymous’ leg. It still takes you aback somewhat, feeling as if your blushes have migrated from your face to your heart. But it isn’t terribly uncomfortable, and you’re already starting to become used to it.
>Apple Seed mumbles something about petrevoking under his breath at Wheat Graze and Thistlehoofs’ work. This earns him a brief nudge from Max Gusto and a knowing look. The sack on Max’s side swings idly from the impact – the first article of clothing you’ve seen on the pegasus since you’ve met her, and the last you’ll see until you part ways. It briefly bumps into Apple Seed’s own baggage, a grass backpack of sorts, which you’ve seen a few Marestrichtian farmers wear.
>As the stone walls are dragged further open, Apricot Ammil sends Max a halfhearted glare. Were it the night before, you’d be sure she would’ve done nothing less than launch herself at the pegasus for touching her brother.
>”Were it the night before.” You’ve been thinking that phrase a lot lately. Were it the night before, you wouldn’t be standing so close to Anonymous, feeling equal parts protected and protective of the human. The two new sets of armor Sagebrush had insisted you part with this morning – one set for you, another for Tia – weigh heavily in your intraflated sack, giving you a newfound respect for the strength of the herdwatchers of Marestricht. It’s no Paardian armor, but it’s enough to comfort you with the knowledge that neither you nor Tia would be completely helpless in a scuffle.
>The new armor is nothing compared to your newfound resolve, however. Were it the night before, you’d be shaking at the prospect of exiting the first safe haven of your journey. You’d be obsessed with the notion that the only form of currency you have left are those last two bit sacks. But now you remain calm.
>In fact, you’re not just calm. No matter how hard you try, you can’t wipe the fat smile currently occupying your face.
>>
>>37515700
>Anonymous has opened up to you last night. Just a tidbit, but it was enough. You realize your feelings for him now. You’re going to help Anonymous, and you’re going to make a deal with him to continue to be your housecarla once you’ve reached Equestria.
>As the walls of Marestricht are replaced with a large, dusty gap, you feel your tuft swell with determination.
>But as you walk forward, this determination collides with a pain in your chest. Goodbyes were never your strong suit. Tartarus, you never even said goodbye to anypony in the uppercastes before you left.
>Just as you’re building yourself up to turn and speak to the ponies at your side, the dust settles enough for you to make something out just a few cubits ahead. You recognize the unicorn’s silhouette through the dust, her brown eyes gleaming through the gaseous dirt with a sort of reserved pride. Smooth Roads’ arrival isn’t what shocks you, though. It’s the structure behind the unicorn that makes your heart skip a beat.
>At first, you believe it must be an illusion. A last, cruel vision – the climactic end to a plethora of nightmares and hallucinations you’ve been encountering through this past week.
>However, as the dirt and dust settle, and you hear the awestruck gasp of Tia and the surprised “Huh!” from Anonymous, you know that it really is your wagon just behind Smooth Roads.
>It isn’t how you last saw it; the wood is significantly darker in color, reflecting the boreal life of the mountainside. There are fewer windows, it lacks the many decorative patterns and nuances, and it’s also missing that mini watchtower you were so proud of. But even if it’s much more rustic than your perceived rendition, the silhouette and the base confirm it: it is, without a doubt, the wagon you’ve drafted a short eternity ago.
>”Now, I know what you might be thinking!” Smooth Roads says before you can open your mouth. Now that you get a better look at her, you notice the bags under her eyes and the way her horn fizzles exhaustedly. Her voice seems to drag across the hard ground as she rasps, “And the answer is no. I did not go to the Red Garden to steal it back.”
>Smooth Roads sits on her rump to pull the satchel off her side. You don’t know if she’s avoiding using magic out of respect for the present Marestrichtians, or if she really is that magically exhausted. Roads settles the satchel down at her hooves before opening it and pulling out a torn, stained blueprint. A very familiar blueprint.
>She must have made copies of your original drawing! You remember how everypony was so impressed with your sketches at Free Valley Carpentry they had gathered and watched you create it. Ancients above, /you/ were impressed with yourself.
>Smooth Roads bashfully slides the blueprint back into her bag, still alone in the dirt clearing. You’re on the verge of turning to Anonymous for guidance before you feel four hooves suddenly leap from your back.
>>
>>37515705
“Tia!” you warn, but the little filly pays you no mind.
>Tia squeals delightfully as she bounds towards Smooth Roads. Anonymous is immediately in pursuit, but you notice he only walks towards Tia, rather than run. Roads’ eyes widen at the approaching filly, making your heart nervous and your horn tempted to engage. But when the alicorn is mere cubits away from Roads, instead of attacking her or fleeing, Smooth Roads only watches.
>”Wucky wagon!” Tia giggles excitedly. “Smoof Woads, Wucky wagon!”
>Smooth Roads’ eyes soften, even if she doesn’t lower her guard completely. “Y-yeah,” she says, her voice breaking like a puberty-ridden filly before she clears her throat. “Yeah. I, uh… built y’all a new wagon. How do you like it, squirt?”
>Instead of giving a verbal response, Tia approaches Smooth Roads and nuzzles her foreleg, careful not to stab it with her horn. Smooth Roads doesn’t move away from her touch, and you swear you can see the beginning of a smile on her lips, even if her eyes are downturned guiltily.
>”Tia?” Anonymous says gently as he nears the filly from behind. Well, as gently as Anonymous can say.
>Tia flinches at his voice. The sight of her skittering away from the tall human stabs your heart. It looks like she still hasn’t gotten over how he had snapped at her last night. Tia’s scared expression turns into a defiant frown as she sticks her tongue out at Anonymous, giving him a wide radius before rushing back to you.
>Anonymous takes it in stride, only letting out a curt snort. You’re becoming better at reading the human, though.
>You should make getting Tia that present a priority once you’re back on the road, and you’ll be making /extra/ sure she knows just who it came from.
>”M-mister Anonymous,” Smooth Roads says, her voice much quieter than when she had addressed you. “Me an’ the Marestrichtians fashioned you a new set of armor as well. Well, they did most the work – that’s not really my area of expertise.” She chuckles, but Anonymous seemingly doesn’t react. “It’s waiting for you in the wagon. I’m hoping it’s to your fancy.”
>Anonymous turns and starts walking. “Hold on!” Smooth Roads squeaks as she reaches out for him, but her attempt is snuffed out with a glare from Anonymous. The human makes his way to the wagon, not speaking a word to the unicorn. Smooth Roads deflates, her ears lowering to her skull.
>Max Gusto suddenly nudges you with a wing. You turn to the pegasus to see her peach eyes boring into your own before turning to Smooth Roads, then back to you. Smooth Roads waits, now wordless, her eyes flicking between you and the ground between her hooves.
>/Ancients give you strength to not regress to the Lucky Favor before Marestricht./
>>
>>37515706
>You approach Smooth Roads, trying for a smile, but not finding the willpower to make it seem genuine. It was hard to wipe the damn thing from your face mere minutes ago, and now you can’t even find it in yourself to give a smirk. You can feel Max behind you, watching attentively but keeping quiet.
>”I’m not really one for words,” Smooth Roads begins, tapping her front hooves together. “You’re a lot better with ‘em than I am. I know I’d just have a hard time rightly explaining myself and end up looking like a fool, so… consider this a peace offering.” Roads gestures to the wagon.
>Your new wagon. Smooth Roads’ apology, as rustic and dowdy as the mare herself, yet stable. It works.
>”It’s lacking in all the fancy stuff you wrote down,” Smooth Roads sighs. “There just wasn’t enough materials or marepower to make an exact copy. The inside is pretty bare, save for a couch and bookshelf for your reading needs. Y’see, the earth pony armorers wanted to help with it as much as they could, but, um… I didn’t deserve it.” Roads’ lifts her head from the ground to give you a level look. Her tired eyes are downtrodden with exhaustion and shame. “So… there.”
The smile on your lips now has no trouble being genuine. “I didn’t see you at the Rejoicement,” you say, giving her a tilt of your head. “This is what you’ve been doing instead of resting?”
>”Why in the darkest pits of Tartarus would I deserve rest, Lucky Favor?” Smooth Roads asks, suddenly hardened. “There was a good pony and human I’d wronged. Buck, there’s an entire workshop of ponies I’d wronged. It would’ve been mighty selfish of me to kick back and do nothing when y’all were a wagon down.”
You only nod to that, murmuring a soft, “I see…”
>Before enough time passes to make it awkward, though, you feel the familiar tickle of Max’s wing on your back. What makes this time different is that now her wing seems to move back and forth against your fur in a slow, rocking motion. You and Roads both turn to Max to see the pegasus with a sympathetic look on her face so overdone it’s practically making you gag.
“Max Gusto, what are you doing?” you deadpan.
>”Well,” the pegasus answers. “You’re taking so long to say ‘yeah, I’m sorry for being a bitch too,’ I thought it needed to be coaxed out of you.”
>”Get hilted, Max,” Smooth Roads grunts.
>You give the pegasus a swat, and she takes to the air, snickering all the while as she glides over to the wagon. Probably to say her goodbyes to Anonymous, you figure.
>Despite everything, you’re going to miss that pegasus.
>”You don’t need to say anything,” Roads says quietly, but you stop that with a shake of your head.
“No, Max is right,” you say. “I’d feel our business would be unfinished if we were to part on these terms.”
>Smooth Roads mumbles something about fancy words.
>>
>>37515711
“Fancy as I am, Smooth Roads,” you say as you once again find yourself drawn to your wagon. “I’m afraid no words can describe how grateful I am.”
>Tia is skipping around the wagon’s exterior in delight, her eyes wondrous and never still. Max Gusto, meanwhile, is opening the door to the wagon. Anonymous and her haven’t interacted much as far as you can tell, but it isn’t unlikely the pegasus has some things she has to say to the human before parting ways. “And…” you chuckle. “Well, I apologize for being such a /Lucky Favor/ after you helped us escape the Red Garden. May the Ancient Lady of Adventure smile upon your travels.”
>”I’m not so sure that’s an Ancient,” Smooth Roads says with a crooked smile. The look soon sobers up as she sighs. “I’ve already said my farewells to Apple Seed and Max. I’d also like to make my peace with Anonymous, and…” Roads glances back at the wagon, Max now inside and Tia still inspecting every nook and cranny of the structure. “…Tia. That’s her name, right?”
>Well, lowercaste name, but it’d be inconsiderate for you to be the one to share her true name, rather than Tia herself. You nod.
>Smooth Roads smiles at that. “Right, Tia,” she says, mulling the name in her mouth before giving you her full-fledged attention. “Well, Lucky Favor, I reckon this is goodbye.”
Smooth Roads extends a hoof. You take it, giving the unicorn a few shakes before speaking again. “Where will you go?”
>Roads sighs, retrieving her hoof before looking off into the landscape of the forest. Some ways away, you can still see the silhouette of Plumsteed on the horizon. The perpetual rain clouds put there by thieving pegasi loom in the distance like a far-off storm. “I’ll think of somethin’,” Smooth Roads ultimately says. “I might not be fancy with words like you, but I’m not stupid. I’ll definitely think of somethin’. If not to save Free Valley Carpentry, then to at least get the workers out of the shit I’ve put them in.”
>”You are always welcome in Marestricht,” Sachemare Sagebrush’s voice commands from behind, reminding you of the three ponies still there.
>You turn to the trio of earth ponies. Smooth Roads follows suit and is quick to say, “I appreciate it, ma’am, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if the Red Garden hurt any of y’all.”
>Sagebrush’s face falls, but she only gives an understanding nod. It must’ve struck a chord with Smooth Roads, as the unicorn sighs and rubs the back of her head. “I’ll point any interested workers in this direction,” she mutters, her words immediately putting a grin on Sagebrush’s face. “But I’m not gonna lead the Red Garden here by coming myself, that’s for damn sure.”
>>
>>37515714
>It’s Apple Seed who speaks up next. Even if he’s the shortest of the ponies, his voice still rings with the calm, wise cadence of the Sachemare herself. “Marestricht will miss you, my friend.”
>Smooth Roads blinks at Apple Seed’s words. Or, perhaps, just that last word. /Friend./
>Roads suppresses a squee, turning away from the stallion and towards you. She clears her throat seriously, even if her lips twitch into a smile as she speaks. “Send me a prayer or two, Lucky Favor,” she says. “But don’t you dare worry about me. Just worry about yourself, and your band of misfits.” Smooth Roads’ tone suddenly changes to a much lower, almost warning grumble. “And treat ‘im right, fancy filly. Like I didn’t.”
>With that, Smooth Roads turns and trots towards the wagon, probably to make her peace with Anonymous. You tilt your head. You call ships /him,/ not wagons…
>”Lucky Favor?” Apple Seed grabs your attention.
>As the orange stallion approaches you, his sister stays glued to his side. She doesn’t look at you, either because she knows you’re not a threat or because she’s still acting snooty. Or, now that you get a better look at the way her eyes mirror Apple Seed’s, maybe out of shame. There seems to be a lot of that going around.
>“It would be a stain on Marestricht’s honor, were we to let you leave emptyhooved,” Apple Seed says, slinging the grass-tied baggage up and off his back. As he sticks a hoof in to grab something, you begin to recede, to tell him that Marestricht has done more than enough, but a well-practiced glare from Sagebrush immediately shuts that down. “I understand you and Brother Anonymous are wanted by the Plumsteed housecarlatel.”
>You swallow, even if you try to hide your nervousness. As much as you want to dismiss Sapphire Lily’s words as empty threats, you know it’s just the far-fetched hopes of a naïve uppercastemare. And now, there’s no reason that the Red Garden wouldn’t also be after you.
>Apple Seed sees right through your attempts to hide your nervousness, and he smiles warmly. He pulls something out from his baggage – a small, brown sack.
>The next sniff you take changes your description. A small, brown, /absolutely pungent/ sack. Curse these earth ponies’ noses! It isn’t fair how they’re so used to this!
>“As you know,” Apple Seed continues, trying and failing to hide his amusement from your reaction. “The earth ponies of Marestricht have an… inimical stance on magic. Because of this, larua roots are cheap and high in stock, since they do not have much magicless use.”
“I hope this use outweighs the odor,” you squeak as you put a hoof up to cover your snout.
>>
>>37515716
>”It does indeed,” Apple Seed confirms. “The Red Garden used this root, along with a certain spell, to disguise themselves on occasion.” Apricot Ammil takes a tiny step closer to her brother at the mention of the Red Garden. “I am not very well-versed in magic, so I could not tell you exactly what the spell was. But I do know that if you and the larua root are both submerged in a body of water and this spell is cast, your fur will change color. To the opposite hue, if my observations were correct.”
>Apple Seed holds the sack to you. You don’t know if the tears in your eyes are from gratitude or the malodourous smell of the larua roots. Regardless, you wipe your face and retrieve the bag, a grin threatening your features.
“What did the spell the Red Garden used sound like?” you ask, trying to ignore the fact that the sack is dampening your forelegs.
>Apple Seed tilts his head, but answers nonetheless. He lets loose a susurrating hiss between pursed lips before retracting them, giving a crude but familiar impersonation of the spell’s magical signature: /’fsuuuuwsssss …’/
>An inner-spread spell. Not one that was required in your caster lessons, but a low level spell to be sure. You’re sure you can find a thome on ambient mass-magic in the next town or marketstead you come across. You could probably also purchase a map of the coastline in the same trip.
>”I’m afraid the larua root will not be as useful for Brother Anonymous,” Apple Seed sighs. “A change in color will not do much to disguise the fact he is from such a rare tribe.”
You smile, sniffling away some errant tears of gratitude. “I am dumbfounded,” you whisper. “I cannot thank you enough. For everything.”
>”Neither can we.”
>It’s barely perceptible, but you hear Apricot Ammil’s quiet admission. She notices how you and Apple Seed both turn to her, and suddenly finds the horizon an interesting focal point.
You giggle but decide to save the earth pony further embarrassment. As you pull the sack towards you, the top of it briefly loosens, giving you a peak – and a full whiff – inside. Whether to continue the conversation with Apple Seed or out of pure curiosity, you ask him, “I apologize for coming off as selfish, dear, but why are there three?”
>”The larua roots are best used when individualized,” Apple Seed explains. “At least, that is what I assume, judging from the Red Garden misusing them on occasion. The one you use will be tethered to you once the spell is cast, and will reject anypony else who tries to use it. Therefore, I have given you one larua root for each of your party members, minus Anonymous.”
>You were on the verge of mentioning Anonymous until Apple Seed had said that. When he sees the perplexed look on your face, he tilts his head. “Has Max not told you yet?” he asks.
>>
>>37515717
>Before you can respond, you hear the sharp cannonshot of your wagon door being flung open. You whip around to see that Max is now skittering out of the wagon; Anonymous’ shouting can briefly be heard from within the wagon – something about how easily he could rip her snowpity off – before she slams the door shut. You’re briefly horrified at what could’ve happened, until she flashes you that bashful grin once again. You recognize the glint of a filly who was on the wrong end of a criminal misunderstanding.
>”Jeez, and I thought /you/ were uppity about clothes,” Max snickers as she skips over to you. “He’s acting like he doesn’t even have a Y-7 gland!”
“Max Gusto…” you growl, shaking your head uselessly. “Please tell me you did not do that on purpose.”
>”What?!” her voice squeaks like a foal’s toy in defiance. “I’m not some Peeping Tamsin! Of course I didn’t mean to do that to my roomie! What kind of an impression would that make?”
You’re about to reprehend the pegasus again, but you’re taken aback by her choice of words. “Roomie?” you ask.
>It clicks moments after the word leaves your mouth. It isn’t in time for you to ask more questions before Max suddenly burst into raucous laughter.
>”Alright, never mind!” she howls. “You’re back on top for the Most Clueless Pony I’ve Ever Met Award!”
>You huff, narrowing your eyes at Max. She takes a moment to recompose herself before sitting on her haunches and spreading her forelegs out, as if showing off something impressive. “Don’t say you didn’t see this coming, fancy filly!” she crows. “I’m coming with you!”
You blink. “…Please elaborate.”
>Max rolls her eyes before they land on Apple Seed in an incredulous expression. There’s that knowing look again, before she turns back to you. “I’m coming with you, you autistic mare. As your cloudpusher.”
“Y--…” you start, before stopping, flabbergasted. You seem to be doing that rather often when Max is involved. “Absolutely not! It’s much too dangerous! And I can’t afford to pay somepony else at the moment!” You expect to have more reasons to deny her, but to your surprise, those are the only two you can think up.
>Max is a sky wanderer. She has nowhere else to go. You love the Marestrichtians, but you get the hint that the pegasus would be overstaying her welcome if she had decided to stay long-term.
“…A-and what even does that word mean, ‘autistic?’” your stammering eventually closes with, out of words to say.
>>
>>37515718
>Max shrugs. “Heard Anonymous say it at the Rejoicement. Kinda sounds funny. Fits you pretty well, I think.” The pegasus approaches you, the confident smirk on her face faltering. “I can help with the weather! Keep it clear or cover your trail, whatever you want. I can also be a good scout. Y’know, keep a look out for anypony suspicious, keeping watch from overhead. And I can actually hold a conversation without having a mental breakdown, so that’s one up on both you and Anonymous. I’ll also work for dirt-cheap! Tartarus, I’ll work for free! A roof over my head, someplace nearby to fish, and a—” Without warning, Max Gusto stops speaking and looks away. She scrunches, using a hoof to wipe over her face in what must be some sort of pegasus grooming habit. The fragility of her voice as she continues, though, immediately makes you realize what she was wiping at. “—a-a few friends to talk to, maybe. Or just co-workers. I dunno. Whatever you want. S-so, um…” Max stomps a hoof before whipping her face back to yours. “So, what do you say? You’ll take me along, right?!”
>…Oh, Tartarus, who are you kidding?
>Even the /thought/ of hurting her with the second terrible rejection of her life puts a stone in your stomach. You can’t do that to this mare. You sigh in defeat.
>”Awesome!” Max suddenly blurts out. “I won’t let you down, Lucky!”
“B-but I haven’t even--!” you blabber, but it’s cut short with the crushing hug Max pulls you into.
>Darnit, why are you so easy to read?!
“Fine!” you sigh as Max buries her head in your tuft, letting out squee after squee. “We’ll discuss payment once we get the chance, but would you kindly show some dignity before the Marestrichtians?”
>”Nope,” Max says in your fur. “You’re my friend, and friends hug, so we shall hug. Now hug.”
>Friend…?
>…Well, yes.
>Max Gusto /is/ your friend. She can be annoying at times, and she lives up to the perverted, lazy, thieving pegasus stereotype, but she’s also… genuine. Despite her obvious attempts at hiding her vulnerabilities, you would use the word “genuine” to describe Max Gusto.
>Yes. Max is your friend.
>>
>>37515727
>You turn to the wagon to see that Smooth Roads is crouching low to the ground as she speaks to Tia, who is smiling attentively at whatever the mare is saying. Anonymous is still in the wagon, probably still changing into his new armor. You turn to the entrance of Marestricht to see that Sagebrush and Apple Seed are looking away respectfully. Apricot Ammil, though, lets out a crude imitation of your earlier giggle at her expense.
>”Thank you, Lucky Favor,” Max whispers into your tuft. Her voice almost breaks as she speaks. Her arms cling tighter to you as her weight momentarily leans on you.
You wrap your forelegs around the pegasus and whisper into her ear, “You can call me Faust if you promise to not be a blabbermouth.”
>Max lets out a half-hearted “mm-hmm.”
>/…Does she not--…?/
>Max gives you one last squeeze before she pulls away, whatever sudden emotion that had pervaded her voice nowhere to be seen. For a moment, she just sits there, relishing in her victory before something gives her pause.
>”Is…--” she starts, before lowering her voice. “How are Faust and Lucky Favor even related? Is that like a nickname or--” And then, realization morphs her face. “Ohhh! Right, ‘cause you’re from the uppercaste, and that’s your ‘true’ name. I gotcha.”
>She /doesn’t/ know the significance!
“This actually means quite a lot to me, for your information!” you pout, earning yourself a shrug that only Max Gusto could make seem so infuriating.
>”Hey, you can’t expect a pegasus to know that stuff,” she defends.
“Why, you—!”
>Oh, for All-Mother’s sake! This is just as embarrassing as that night in the sauna.
>Max snickers as she gets to her hooves with a flap of her wings. “I’m just messing with you. Not gonna have an episode in front of the Marestrichtians, right? And, speaking of Marestrichtians…”
>As Max Gusto passes you and approaches the earth ponies, you have half a mind to send a zap at her flank to match her cutie mark. And what a stereotypical cutie mark for a pegasus that is, just some thunder cloud with a lightning bolt sticking out of it! Just a /little/ spell wouldn’t anger the Marestrichtians, would it? And besides, it’s Max Gusto, you have good reason!
>You fume, but despite it all, you find yourself smiling.
>The wagon door creaks open from behind. You turn to see Anonymous ducking through the entrance and stepping into the sunlight.
>>
>>37515731
>Tia notices as Anonymous exits and her ears lower to her skull. She trots to the other side of the wagon, her pink tail dragging on the dirt as she leaves. Smooth Roads looks off to Tia and seems to conflict with herself for a moment before she approaches Anonymous. You, meanwhile, can only stare at Marestricht’s and Smooth Roads’ handiwork.
>Quite frankly, you were surprised Anonymous had survived Plumsteed at all, wearing his previous armor set. The leather and cloth ensemble couldn’t stop any functional weapon you can think of. The oval, stone bracers on his forearms were the only defense he seemed to have, and even then, they were obviously homemade. It’s obvious his survivability was based solely on his martial prowess.
>With this new armor, though, you have a hard time coming up with a weapon that could realistically match up against the human.
>The creators of this work of art had used the tasteful color scheme of casual Marestricht attire – peaches, creams, and browns – in a most creative fashion. Wood, made flexible by excellent craftsmareship and through magic no doubt, serves as Anonymous’ under armor. It contours and bends with his body almost like a second skin. Its color even matches the same peach hue as what lies underneath. The brown outer armor pieces are most certainly minimalist and functional in its fashion, traveling down Anonymous’ figure in a way that flows with his musculature and strikes an impressive balance between flexibility and protection. From what you can guess from here, a mix of hard metals, wood, and stone must have been used to create the malleable cocoon that now protects Anonymous.
>The offensive capabilities of his armor are once again in the form of bracers, but this time they are much more versatile. He has the one pair on his forearms, like before, but another is attached to his shins. His knees and elbows are also fortified with circular plates of metal. Anonymous’ hands – the palms, back of the hands, and between every joint of his fingers – are covered with a complicated network of smoothened cobbles, essentially creating a flexible set of gauntlets. You can immediately tell what the Marestrichtians used as material for Anonymous’ bracers and gauntlets.
>Emeralds. The color ties the ensemble together with a resounding earth pony signature, and seems to make Anonymous’ green eyes twinkle even brighter.
>You blink owlishly. These earth ponies’ sense of beauty may seem lacking at first glance, but All-Mother above, nothing can be further from the truth. They really do know how to bring out a stallion’s natural elegance.
>Anonymous has the air of somepony obviously experienced, but not so grizzled that he wouldn’t be fit for a knights’ guild. Adventurous and resourceful, not rough and criminal.
>Your heart flip flops in your chest, and you feel yourself becoming enraptured by him all over again.
>>
>>37515734
>”Green, huh?” Anonymous says to Smooth Roads; the first words he’s spoken with her since the Red Garden. He inspects his gauntlets as he speaks, waving and flexing his fingers individually before turning to Smooth Roads.
>You breathe a sigh of relief. He’s at least willing to hear what she has to say.
>”Alright, that’s enough!” Max Gusto suddenly chirps. You turn to see that she’s chuckling as she gently pulls away from the hug Apple Seed had just given her. And…
>…by the Ancients, is she /blushing?/
>”You wouldn’t want your sister to kill me after all that shit, would you?” Max asks, suddenly very interested in grooming herself as she turns away. Apple Seed only smiles, understanding the pegasus’ hesitance.
>“I will pray you well, Max Gusto,” Apple Seed finishes with.
>Whatever tears Max would shed, she had either already shed or wouldn’t let them. She turns back to the two earth ponies. “You better take care of your brother!” Max blurts out at Apricot before hurriedly turning and trotting away. Apricot rolls her eyes, but lets the pegasus go unscathed. Max passes you, aimed squarely at the wagon. After saying your last farewells, you follow her.
>As the two of you return to the wagon, you see Smooth Roads giving a nod to Anonymous before she takes one last look at Marestricht. A smile and a nod – a genuine one – and then Smooth Roads turns and leaves.
>Anonymous leans against the wagon, crossing his arms as he waits for you. One look at his face, and you know that his talk with Smooth Roads went well. A second look, and you notice the excited, yet reserved upwards twitch of his lips as he peers down at his new armor.
>/This is it./
>It isn’t the first time you’ve set out on the road, and it isn’t even the most significant, when compared to your time leaving the uppercastes with Tia, and even your time leaving Plumsteed with your new housecarla. But it’s certainly the first time you’ve felt this much hope at what the future holds.
>In this moment, you realize that Plumsteed, that night when Anonymous burnt your letter, the Red Garden… it was all worth it. You’ve never been closer to your housecarla, and he’s in the best shape since you’ve met him. You have a skilled cloudpusher and friend at your side. Tia is still safe, and you have no doubt that Anonymous and her will bond during the next week of peaceful traveling.
>If the world ended tomorrow, at least /this/ moment, right now, would remain perfect—
>”/Eksh-kyuse me! Shkolar Lucky Favor!/”
>It feels like you skid to a halt, even if you hadn’t even been at trotting speed. You recognize the voice instantly, muffled as it is. It feels so weird, hearing it not unabashedly nuzzling up to Anonymous or whispering defeatist apologies.
>>
>>37515739
>You let out a low, unladylike grumble as you turn to find a certain mauve mare bounding towards you. The dark travelers’ attire makes her intentions immediately known. The purple-white bun atop her head bounces as she passes Sagebrush, the grass bag hanging between her teeth swinging in her gait as she passes by Apple Seed and Apricot Ammil. Apricot brushes up against her brother protectively, but Apple Seed only follows Riverside with his eyes. As Bountiful Riverside approaches, Sagebrush trots up behind her, an almost pleading look in her eyes, aimed squarely at you.
>/…Oh, Ancients-damnit./
>It’s low at first; barely perceptible to your unicorn ears, but you swear on the All-Father’s grave that you hear Max Gusto stifle a snigger.
>”Scholar Lucky Favor…” Sachemare Sagebrush coos in the same tone a loving father would say to a wayward foal.
>/Ancients-DAMNIT!/
>Max has to put a hoof to her muzzle and turn away to keep from bursting out laughing. You can hear the footsteps of Anonymous approaching you from behind, but all you can do is stare at Riverside as she gives you a bow so low her muzzle touches the dirt.
>Before you can even open your mouth, Sagebrush tells you, “I would never wish to force you into anything, Scholar Lucky Favor. But do not act like you are not in need of a body mender on your travels. Your new armor will only hold back so much. Yours, Tia’s, and /Brother Anonymous’/.”
>For a brief moment, the look on Sagebrush’s face reminds you of that paralyzing second she had thought you were responsible for Anonymous’ condition after just arriving in Marestricht.
“It’s—” you start before clearing the cotton from your throat. “It’d be much too dangerous for her! Max Gusto already has wilderness experience, but Riverside would be leaving everything she’s known! She’d be leaving her own people! And, for the love of the All-Mother, /I can’t afford another employee!/”
>Sagebrush doesn’t get after you for objecting. She only smiles sadly. Riverside seems to melt deeper into the ground as the Sachemare says, “Bountiful Riverside and I had a long talk after we left the Rejoicement. She has thought long and hard about her future in Marestricht… and has come to the conclusion that she feels more at home with—”
>Sagebrush pauses for a moment. Anonymous now stands by your side, and the Sachemare’s eyes flick to him before returning to your own.
>”—with /your group/ than she does Marestricht. I understand she may not know much about the world outside Marestricht, but I assure you she will not let you down as a body mender.”
>As you look down at Bountiful Riverside, still not saying a word, still pressing her face into the ground and silently begging, you feel prickles of sorrow for the mauve mare. This same sorrow reflects in Apple Seed’s eyes, tenfold.
>>
>>37515743
>”Letting her leave would be a kindness, Scholar Lucky Favor,” Sagebrush says quietly. “The first kindness Marestricht would be showing her since Apple Seed’s departure.”
>Apple Seed doesn’t react verbally, only lowering his head and nodding knowingly. Sagebrush looks at you again, but there’s something different about her now. Gone is the tall, scarred, and muscular mare you had come to respect over these past few days. In front of you now is a herdmother pleading for you to do right by the daughter she had wronged.
“…M-Marestricht would be left without a body mender,” you say halfheartedly. The resistance in your voice leaves as you say this last protest. It’s getting harder for you to say no to these ponies.
>As if an idea strikes the melancholy thoughts from her mind, Sagebrush tilts her head in mock confusion. “Whatever do you mean, Scholar Lucky Favor?” she asks. “Marestricht’s body mender count remains the same. Riverside has given her position to the very stallion standing before you.”
>Apple Seed’s head snaps up at this news. He can only stare between Sagebrush and Riverside. Even Apricot Ammil is stunned. Bountiful Riverside, meanwhile, raises her face to meet yours. The mare is taller than you – still not as tall as a lot of the other earth ponies you’ve seen in Marestricht, but tall enough for her face to be at least a full head above yours. However, her height doesn’t diminish the filly-like, quiet, determined, /begging/ look in her eyes.
>Each second looking into her sea blue eyes is a second you come closer to the realization that you can’t reject this mare either.
>…/Ancients damnit…/
“…F-fine,” you murmur, and the effect is instant. Bountiful Riverside doesn’t lurch forward and hug you like Max did, but her eyes sparkle just a little brighter, and her tuft puffs out just a little thicker.
>/Of course her tuft is bigger than yours, she’s a mountain-dwelling earth pony! You could make a blanket with only a day’s worth of her winter coat shedding! You’re not proportionately smaller!/
>Riverside turns back to bid her farewells to the earth ponies. You grumble some more, kicking a hoof before turning back to the wagon. You should retrieve Tia and climb aboard, you suppose…
>You don’t want to be treating Anonymous’ healer like this. Especially after what you found out about the poor mare last night. Tartarus, you thought you had overcome this bitterness you had towards her that very night! But the thought of her spending the undefined future with you – with Anonymous – rubs you the wrong way. Much more wrong than one night of rubbing up against Anonymous did.
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>>37515748
>You glance back to the mare. After Riverside’s shared bow with Sachemare Sagebrush, she approaches Apple Seed and Apricot Ammil. Apricot seems at a loss for words for a moment – both of the siblings do – until she merely bows her head to the mare. Apple Seed is the only one who gives her parting words.
>“Your work on Anonymous was becoming of the best body menders Marestricht has to offer,” he says as he bows, mirroring his sister. “Summer Harvest would have adored you, Mender Bountiful Riverside.”
>Riverside hastily begins whispering something to them, to stop embarrassing themselves and that she doesn’t deserve his kind words, but you’re no longer paying attention.
>You find Tia inspecting nothing in particular on the wagon and scoop her up. She squeaks as if being jolted awake. When you prop her on your withers and turn back, that’s when you realize the only one who had followed you back to the wagon was Max Gusto. Anonymous is walking back to the wagon, Bountiful Riverside at his side.
>It's subtle. Barely a graze, really, but Anonymous' emerald-encrusted hand glides over Riverside's mane in a single, smooth pet. She looks up at the human and gives a smile.
>/…It took so much more effort for you to get that close to him./
>“/Naw naw.../” Tia grumbles, clearly perturbed. You can feel the filly’s grip on you tighten just enough to be noticeable. /"...not momma..."/
>You hesitate for a moment. You’re turning your head to respond to the filly’s fears, to give her a reassuring smile or some encouraging words you’ll improvise once you open your mouth, when Max suddenly gives your snout a whap with her wing. You scrunch, glaring at the pegasus, but she turns away.
>”Better hurry, Faust," she says as she strolls to the entrance to the wagon. "That mare was born in the wrong body. She's a sky thief, through and through."
>You’re going to get real sick of hearing Max call you Faust, you just know it.


~~~


>You extend a hoof and roll the iuncti root back to the splayed mat of woven grass.
>It’s hard to keep your mending supplies all in one place. The world shifts and bobs like a leaf on a river, rearranging both your supplies and your stomach with each dip of the wagon.
>Sachemare Sagebrush had warned you about this the night of the Rejoicement. You’ve lived your entire life in Marestricht. It was by no means sheltered, and you are by no means unaccustomed to danger – avalanches, pegasus raids, griffon attacks… You figured you would adapt to the outside world and its dangers as you went along.
>With the thought of Anonymous by your side, the thought never really intimidated you. If he could stand up to Maretinet Apricot Ammil, he could stand up to anypony.
>…Tartarus, you’re foregoing Brother Anonymous’ honorific in your thoughts again. You need to stop that. You don’t yet have his permission.
>>
>>37515752
>Back to the subject at hoof. It seems that your estimation for the journey was askew. It has only been a few hours since Marestricht disappeared back into the distant mountains. Even sitting still in this rocking, swerving, wooden jail Lucky Favor calls her wagon is a challenge. It feels as if you’ve been swept away in an avalanche of movement with every veer of your surroundings. You’ve tried multiple times to petrevoke through the floor to feel some semblance of security. You’re no earthpusher, but you have no problem connecting with Equus’ heart if you focus enough. However, each attempt only makes you feel nauseous, as if you were aboard a ship at the mercy of a roaring ocean.
>It would be a little more comfortable, and admittedly a little less dangerous, if you sat atop the couch attached to the wagon wall, but you have your reasons for laying on the ground. The only reason you’ve kept from upchucking is that recounting your supplies provides a good distraction. Iuncti roots, the bags of antequus seed powder, the lubotice brew, among countless others, fit snugly in the complicated web of pockets and hollow rocks within your medicinal sack. Counting them, recounting them, arranging them, rearranging them…
>…You wish Brother Anonymous were here.
>You don’t know why, but you want him by your side. Perhaps you’d feel safer with him close by, like you did during the Rejoicement. The world spun much more when you had faced Maretinet Apricot Ammil than it does now; when the human had laid his hand on your withers while you were trying to flee like a coward, you felt safe.
>Unfortunately, Brother Anonymous is currently on the helm of the wagon, accompanying Scholar Lucky Favor as she drives it. Cloudpusher Max Gusto is also in the outside world, from what you heard, keeping an eye from above. This leaves you alone in the wagon.
>Alone, save for Tia.
>When pillars of smoke had appeared over the hill, Scholar Lucky decided to relinquish Tia to the confines of the wagon so she wouldn’t be spotted during any potential encounter. The unicorn had previously told you and the Cloudpusher that Tia was not to be seen by anypony outside of her group. Since you were “of the least immediate need” – Scholar Lucky’s words – you were chosen to watch over the peculiar little filly in the wagon.
>Said filly hasn’t made any move to interact with you. She only sits in the corner, eyeing you suspiciously. Sitting someplace softer than the little filly felt rude in some way, so you’ve opted to lay on the ground a few cubits away from her.
>>
>>37515753
>You sigh as you return to your task at hoof, finding another barely-perceptible flaw in your laid-out supplies to occupy yourself with. You know you’ve done something wrong, but you don’t know what. Tia makes no attempts to interact with you. Scholar Lucky Favor avoids talking with you when she can, but at least she’s cordial. Cloudpusher Max Gusto continues whatever conversation you will yourself to start with her, but she does so with a reservedness you don’t see with her conversations with the others.
>It seems to only exacerbate the problem when you try to speak with Brother Anonymous, even if the subject is about being more open to your new comrades. The last time you spoke with him, you caught a glimpse of Lucky hastily smoothening her chest tuft before turning away.
>At one point, you had asked Scholar Lucky Favor outright if she was Brother Anonymous’ foalbearer. She gave you the same look that your blood father had given you when you told that crass joke to one of your male friends.
>…You suppose that is a no.
>As if the Ancients were punishing you for being enveloped in your thoughts rather than the present, the wagon jolts violently. You can’t save your supplies. You immediately crouch low to keep your balance, but your supplies aren’t as lucky, and glide across the wooden floor in all directions. Tia lets out a squeak of pain.
>Your attention shifts from your supplies to the filly almost instantaneously. Her face is contorted in fear.
“Are you well, little sprout?” you ask as you near the filly. Once again, her eyes lock onto you. You smile gently, lowering yourself onto your belly so the two of you are almost level. She is quite a small foal, much smaller than any foal you’ve seen in Marestricht.
>”Oh, darnit!” Lucky Favor’s muffled voice calls out from the front of the wagon. You feel your innards squirm as the wagon slowly comes to a stop, thank the Ancients. “It wasn’t as shallow as I was hoping… No, Anonymous, don’t offer to pick it up! You’ll get wet! /Anonymous!/” A commotion of fur and a masculine voice erupts from the wagon. Your lips twitch into a smile at the thought of whatever must be going down. It is one of the good things of this journey, watching these ponies interact with each other. “Many apologies, Tia! Riverside! The interior isn’t magically stabilized quite yet! I’ll get on that once we set up camp later!”
>You flinch.
>This is another thing you had vastly underestimated, but this one is… much more embarrassing. Of course Scholar Lucky Favor would rely on magic on her voyage; she’s a unicorn.
>At the thought of unicorn magic, your blood father’s face pops into your mind once again. This time, he wears a very different expression on his face.
>”/twade!/”
>>
>>37515757
>You blink. The chip on Tia’s hoof doesn’t seem to be bothering her much as she stands on all fours. There is no suspicion on her face now, only an adorable determination that almost makes you squee.
>You tilt your head at the little filly. Before you can get a word out, the filly’s horn suddenly glows.
>Your blood freezes and you almost swipe at Tia’s horn, but something stops you. Well, not something, but /everything/ about the glow of her horn. Your fur doesn’t feel like it’s being plucked off your body like it normally does when a unicorn engages a spell in proximity. The air doesn’t feel like it’s being sucked out of your lungs. You don’t feel panic at the sight of the natural world being violated.
>You might not have the trained eyes of an earthpusher, but the moment Tia’s magic engages you know she isn’t a typical unicorn. Your ear flicks at the sound of utensils dragging across wood, and you turn to find that each of your supplies are slowly returning to their grass sack.
>It is difficult to explain just how different this filly’s magic feels. The ambient particles of air don’t feel like they’re being moved against their will. It almost feels like a natural gust of condensed wind is guiding each of your supplies. It’s all so… /warm./
>You’ve really, /really/ underestimated just how different the world outside of Marestricht would be. One thing is certain, though. You now understand why the others want to protect Tia so much.
>”/twade!/” Tia pipes up once again as the corners of the grass mat are lifted, the sack regaining tautness.
>You turn back to the filly. You give her a low bow of gratitude, but it doesn’t do much to dissuade her from whatever she’s trying to say. In fact, it seems as though the bow flusters Tia even more. Her wings rustle in annoyance, and she stomps her front hooves against the wood.
>”/twade!/” she once again affirms. “hewp Bownti--… /Bountifuw… Wivah…/”
>The filly mulls over what has to be your name in her mouth. You smile and open your own to correct her, but she doesn’t give you the chance, suddenly springing forward in a defensive crouch. Her wings flare open as she gives you a pleading, determined glare. “hewp you!” she asserts. “you no take naw-nee!”
>Naw-nee?
>You’ve never heard that word before. Why would you take it?
Regardless, this is the first time Tia has spoken to you, and you do not want to punish the filly for it. You simply smile and say, “I will not take any naw-nees, little sprout. And I thank you for your help.”
>Tia relaxes, sitting on her haunches and giving an affirmative nod. “/no take naw-nee,/” she says, proud of herself.
>>
>>37515761
>With a lurch, the wagon begins to move once again. Tia doesn’t seem to be much better off than you as her eyes immediately widen and she plants her front hooves back onto the floor for support. Seeing Tia like this, the thought of leaving her to return to your tinkering doesn’t even enter your mind.
“Would you like to go someplace a little softer?” you ask gently.
>There’s still a hint of distrust in Tia’s eyes, but it’s gone once you scoot to the side to let her get a view of the couch. It’s slow, but soon she relents, lifting her chin up and walking past you. She almost reminds you of Scholar Lucky Favor.
>The closer she gets to the couch, though, the pretenses drop, and she excitedly hops onto the soft cushions. She giggles as she stomps her hooves into the fabric, her pink mane and tail whipping this way and that before she finds a comfortable spot. You wait for her to settle down before you approach and sit on the other end of the couch.
>Tia’s magenta eyes peer at you from the corner of your vision as you settle down. As your back touches the wooden wall of the wagon, the muffled hum of Brother Anonymous’ and Scholar Lucky Favor’s voices become clear enough to make out.
>”Honestly, Anonymous,” Scholar Lucky Favor grumbles. “I could’ve taken care of the blasted barrel.”
>Brother Anonymous gives a noncommittal hum.
>The two stop speaking for a while. You’re a little disappointed, thinking their conversation is over. Scholar Lucky Favor is much more sociable with Brother Anonymous than she is with you; perhaps she would reveal more about herself while she is talking to him? Maybe reveal why she doesn’t like to speak with you?
>But after a few minutes of sitting peacefully, and a few glances sent Tia’s way to find her studying you, their conversation starts once again.
>”Apologies for bumping into you like that,” Scholar Lucky Favor says. Underneath the hum of Scholar Lucky’s horn and the ambient sounds of the forest, you make out the sound of somepony tapping her hooves together. It’s slow, nervous. Like a filly.
>/Are Tia and Scholar Lucky Favor related in some way?/
>Brother Anonymous doesn’t respond verbally, but from the relieved sigh of Scholar Lucky you assume he took it well enough. He must have shrugged.
>The mare giggles. “It’s good to see you take that so well. I remember when that would have earned me a slap, at the least!”
>The human responds with a breathy, “Yeah…” before something in his voice changes. “Looks like it’s coming up soon. We have a plan, right?”
>”Oh, yes!” Scholar Lucky titters. “Of course. We’ll, um… well, we’ll figure it out when we get there.” A long, hard pause. “Sorry. It was hard to think on the ride. I was distracted.”
>>
>>37515764
>“We were just sitting here alone--” Brother Anonymous begins, before his complaints end with a reluctant sigh. The tapping of Scholar Lucky’s hooves stop abruptly, as if she had just been caught doing something wrong. “Well, let’s try and find a good vantage point. Then we can get something in motion. What the Hell’s with that look?”
>”I was thinking how good your new armor looks. The sun reflects brilliantly off it.”
>You hear the slightest hint of excitement in Anonymous’ voice. “C’mere, look at this,” he says, the seat on the helm of the wagon creaking. Is he leaning closer to Scholar Lucky Favor? You can’t tell from here…
>You plant your hoof against the wall to change that. It’s jarring for a moment, boarding this adrift ship on that roaring ocean, but you feel the vibrations of the shaking wood and stone end with Anonymous’ and Scholar Lucky Favor’s bodies. Anonymous’ proximity makes you feel secure.
>It feels like he is indeed leaning towards Scholar Lucky Favor, reaching an arm in front of her face.
>“It’s like a gauntlet,” he says. “But it’s as flexible as a glove. I could probably catch a blade with this.”
>”W-what?!” the mare squeaks. “That’s not-- Anonymous, please do not ever put yourself in such danger! I forbid it!”
>”That depends on what you get yourself into, my lady.”
>There’s a pause before Scholar Lucky continues. “…Potential maimings aside, forgive me, but I believe you’re mistaken about my statement. I was thinking about how well your armor matches your eyes.”
>There’s a silence between the mare and human. You’re not sure if the wagon has entered a more secluded part of the forest or if you’re focusing too much with your silent petrevoking, but the birds and crunching of grass under wheels also seem to become muted.
>You can’t help but scrunch in frustration. You wanted to know more about Scholar Lucky Favor, and you suppose you got your wish. The mare is certainly no traditional Marestrichtian, who would make herself available yet wait patiently for the stallion to make his decision; to not sway the potential father of her foals with flattery.
>You hope this is only more miscommunication. Perhaps unicorns are just more willing to flirt.
>No, maybe what you may consider to be flirting, they consider to be complimenting a friend. Ancients above, you hope she is only complimenting her friend.
>Body mending is so much simpler than this.
>“Does this have to do with last night?” Anonymous suddenly murmurs, snapping you to attention. “Just… how drunk were you again, Lucky?”
You frown, muttering something under your breath to the effect of, “That mare better not have given him alcohol…”
>You’re too busy petrevoking to hear Tia’s indignant huff, her attention now fully on you as her ears tilt to the two drivers’ direction.
>>
>>37515770
>“Apologies,” Scholar Lucky mumbles. “That was unprofessional of me.”
>Anonymous wastes no time with his riposte: “Lucky, you are without a doubt the most unprofessional lady I’ve ever worked for.”
>The unicorn gives an audible “hmph!”
>”Still in my top five, though,” Anonymous relents with a shrug.
>Another pause. Your fur prickles with impatience.
>“Anonymous?” Scholar Lucky Favor asks softly. Anonymous turns to her and gestures her to continue. Oh, blast, you’ve forgotten Brother Anonymous’ honorific again! “I’d like to talk about last night. Not right now, mind you! Whenever you’re comfortable, I mean! But, um…” The tapping continues. “I would be appreciative if you put it as a priority, soon?”
>Brother Anonymous reacts to Scholar Lucky’s words by looking away from the unicorn. Scholar Lucky leans forward, her heartbeat quickening as she waits for Brother Anonymous’ answer. “Maybe later,” he mumbles. Before anything else can be said, Brother Anonymous’ voice suddenly cuts through the silence in a completely different tone. “Max found something. See that?”
>”Y-yes,” Scholar Lucky responds, clearing her throat. “I do. Parking there now. Thank you, by the way. I can see that you’re trying.”
>”You’re teetering, Lucky,” Brother Anonymous replies. “You’re teetering /juuuust/ over the line of kissassery.”
>Another harumph, and that’s the end of the conversation.
>You sigh forlornly, cutting the one-sided petrevoke and trying to blot out the outside sounds.
>“/deal bweaker!/”
>Before you can react, Tia’s horn glows and your sack becomes slack. Your supplies once again scatter across the floor, and you’re left scrambling to catch the few that come your way.
“Blast!” you curse. “What is your reasoning, little sprout?!”
>”bwoke deal!” Tia affirms, turning away. “want naw-nee! hewp gone!”
>You can’t make heads or tails of that filly. You only focus on grabbing the root that had rolled to you before turning your attention to the rest of your supplies. Thankfully, the wagon soon rolls to a stop and you’re left in relative stability. You would feel much better if your hooves were atop the solid, endless depths of Equus rather than a thin layer of wood and stone, but at least now it isn’t moving.
>As you’re biting onto the lubotice brew’s necklace, the door to the wagon unlatches before swinging open.
>“We’ve arrived!” Scholar Lucky announces in a singsong voice. Her mood always seems to improve after speaking with Brother Anonymous. “Riverside, thank you for watching over Tia. Come out and get some fresh air, hm?”
>You smile and open your mouth to respond, but that’s when Scholar Lucky Favor’s horn is set aflame with a cyan glow.
>>
>>37515773
>Your fur feels as if it’s being pulled off your body towards the spell. It becomes harder to breathe. And as the air gasps and implodes from the telekinesis, for a split second, you see a glimpse of your blood father’s face.
>You yelp, dropping the necklace and skittering away from Scholar Lucky. The unicorn notices your reaction immediately and hastily disengages her horn.
>”I’m so sorry!” she cries as she hops into the wagon.
The world soon turns to normal as the magic dissipates. You catch your breath before you realize you’ve dropped the lubotice brew. “It is alright, Scholar Lucky Favor,” you whisper before bending to scoop it back up. As you do so, you hear four tiny hooves clack against the floor and make their way to the unicorn.
>Scholar Lucky had wanted to bring Tia to her side. That is all. The magic wasn’t aimed at you, Riverside.
>It wasn’t aimed at your blood father.
>”Would you like some help with that, Riverside?” Scholar Lucky asks as you move to the next discarded article. “I understand it was a bumpy ride, but I plan to stabilize the interior later tonight.”
You suppress a shudder. “I am fine,” you say neutrally.
>Scholar Lucky Favor’s shoulder slump at your response. She opens her mouth as if to say something more, but nothing comes. It’s only when Tia begins to babble that Scholar Lucky shushes her. “Come here, Tiny-Tia. Let’s think of a plan, shall we?”
>You don’t say anything as the two ponies leave the wagon. It’s so strange. Those two are similar in many respects – their attitude, their white fur, the horn atop their head – but still feel so different. When Tia’s horn had glowed, it was… less of an ignition, more like a gentle glow. But Scholar Lucky Favor’s glow had as much vitriol towards the natural world as any unicorn’s.
>You feel bad for reacting towards Scholar Lucky’s magic like that. You’ve made the choice to come along on /her/ journey. She shouldn’t feel restricted from doing something so natural for herself.
>You sigh, ashamed. It seems that, when there’s nopony in need of your medical aid, you’re nothing but a hindrance to these ponies. Marestricht wasn’t much different.
>A masculine voice snaps you from your stupor.
>”I’m helping you,” Brother Anonymous’ deep utterance bounces in your ears. “Deal with it.”
>>
>>37515778
>You turn around to see the tall human standing at full height in the wagon. It seems as though the creators of the wagon were considerate of his height. His eyes search around the wagon before his emerald-encrusted hands get to work, picking up your strewn-about supplies from the ground. The two of you continue in silence for some time. Admittedly, picking everything up from the floor and putting it back in your sack takes much shorter than if you hadn’t had Brother Anonymous’ help. Still, your cheeks burn at the shame of having a stallion help you with labor, physical strength or not. After all, a stallion’s strength only makes the weaker mare more honorable when she is the one to aide him.
>As you pull the grass knot of your sack tight, Brother Anonymous gives a nod and turns to leave. “C’mon,” he says.
“Brother Anonymous?” you ask.
>”It wasn’t a big deal,” the human says as he raises a hand in a dismissive gesture. You’re disappointed he won’t even take a thank you, but that wasn’t the only reason you called for his attention.
“No, I had a question,” you correct. Brother Anonymous stops his advance and turns to look at you. For a brief moment you’re entranced by the way the outside world frames his body, and the way the sun bounces tiny glimmers off his emerald gauntlets. Scholar Lucky Favor was right. The emeralds in his gauntlets bring out his eyes quite brilliantly.
You clear your throat, unable to look into the human’s eyes anymore. An unfamiliar heat blossoms in your cheeks. You focus on tying your grass sack of medical supplies to your hip string. “Is there something I can do differently?” you ask meekly. “Scholar Lucky Favor does not like me. Nor any of the others. I know I have done something wrong, but I do not know what it is.”
>A sort of uncomfortable, bemused silence pervades the wagon. Brother Anonymous stays still for a moment before he turns around. He peers out of the wagon and looks both ways before coming back in, satisfied that nopony is listening, you suppose. The human crosses his arms, leaning his weight on one of his legs in a bipedal show of nonchalance that’s foreign, yet fascinating to you.
>”Don’t take it too hard,” he sighs, scratching the dark fur on his chin. “Lucky’s just--… Well, I don’t think she’d appreciate me calling her that, actually.” Brother Anonymous hums, tapping his bicep with an index finger. “It’ll take a bit for them to trust someone new. I’ll put it that way.”
“And yet you trust me, Brother Anonymous?” you ask quietly.
>>
>>37515783
>The human stays silent at that. He looks away from you in the same fashion as when Scholar Lucky had brought up whatever she had told him last night. He continues to tap with a finger as his eyes briefly turn downwards, his thoughts inwards.
>You gulp, suddenly not knowing if you want to hear his answer.
>“Look, Riverside,” Brother Anonymous says after consideration. “You’re fine. Really. Just… be patient, I guess. /God, I suck at this./” Brother Anonymous mumbles that last remark under his breath before turning to the exit of the wagon once again, waving for you to join him as he descends. “If you wanna do something, try and drop the honorifics. If they’re not too culturally sacred, I mean.”
“/I can/?!—” you squeak, before clearing your throat to recover. “Ahem! I can call you Anonymous? I have your permission?”
>”Yeah, call me Anonymous, call Lucky Lucky, and call Max Bitch with Wings.” And with those words, /Anonymous/ bows out of the wagon and into the outside world. He stays just outside, waiting for you.
>You follow close behind /Anonymous/, your head held high and a smile plastered on your face. You have to physically restrain the squee from coming out of your throat.
>You guess you weren’t doing /everything/ wrong!
>As you clop down the steps and onto warm grass, you are once again reunited with the natural grounds of Equus. Your contact of the world’s stable core is reconnected, and you no longer feel as if it would suddenly lurch forward at any given moment. The adrift ship has beached on a sunny, calm island.
>In stark contrast to your inner ship, though, mist surrounds your group. It’s thin enough to be able to peer through and locate what looked like a strange village some ways down the hill, but thick enough to obscure the wagon from said village’s residents. The heat from the sun still warms the grass underneath, and the forest life is still abuzz with unperturbed buzzing and humming. Cloudpusher Max Gusto must have recently made this cover for the wagon.
>Err, Bitch with Wings—no! /Max Gusto!/ Max Gusto must have recently made this cover, you mean. Just Max Gusto.
>As you and Anonymous near said pegasus, currently peering through the tree line at the village alongside your other two comrades, Lucky turns her head towards you both.
>There it is again. Whatever apologetic feelings Lucky still harbored for you after she had conducted the spell, whatever friendly twinkle remained in her eyes, are swept away once again. She quickly turns back to the distant village. Her posture is more slumped than before, as if the breath was punched out of her belly.
>>
>>37515786
>You and Anonymous approach the three ponies. As Anonymous takes a knee beside Lucky Favor, you sit on your haunches, looking over the village currently being scrutinized. The village is more of a hamlet than a village... No, not even that. You don’t see any residential homes, only markets, tents, and wagons. You squint.
>Just what is this… settlement?
>It’s hard to explain the unease that pervades your mind as you inspect it. If you were to compare Marestricht to what you’re currently looking over, the earth pony village would be akin to a hermit crab taking refuge in an uninhabited shell; a home made from an offering of nature. This village is different. It reminds you of a timberwolf, burrowing deep into idle ground and carving its home into Equus’ new wound.
>”Lucky?” Max suddenly asks with a tap to the side of the unicorn’s head. As you tune into Lucky, you realize she’s been mumbling under her breath for at least the last ten seconds.
>“Oh!” she suddenly yips, giving both you and Anonymous a glance. “My apologies. Yes, Max, as I was saying, the plan! The plan to retrieve the things. The important things that are essential for our quest…” Another look at you and Anonymous, but this time slower, as if studying every follicle on your coat. “…The things that I’m having trouble remembering at the moment.”
>Max blinks, unamused, before her attention turns to the filly in Lucky’s arms. Amusement suddenly comes back onto her face in full force. “I’ll give you a hint if I can give Tia a sweet mustache,” she says.
>”/mus-taj?/” Tia asks with a tilt of her head.
>Anonymous reaches a hand in front of Lucky’s face and snaps his fingers. The sharp /clack!/ that erupts from the metal makes Lucky blink in surprise. “Larua roots,” he reminds. “Wagon.”
>”Ah, that’s right!” Lucky Favor titters, her attention going back to the marketstead. “Thank you, Anonymous, my dear.” Another glance your way. You scrunch in confusion. Anonymous only presses one of his fingers into Lucky’s cheek until she glares at him, nudging it away with a push of her head. “Riverside and Max, I present to you something neither pegasi nor earth ponies have the luxury of experiencing: a marketstead. You can think of it as a band of traveling vendors, choosing to stick together as they traverse the wilderness.”
>You blink in awe, giving the marketstead another, closer look. You can see how the small amalgamation of tents and wagons seem to slowly glide across the ground, a faint magical glow just underneath the marketstead.
>Quick as a whip, your awe snaps to unease.
>>
>>37515789
>”This is our chance to retrieve the supplies we need,” Lucky iterates. “We’ll need a thome on ambient mass-magic, first and foremost. It’s low level magic, so it shouldn’t cost much.”
>You squirm, but remain silent. You understand their need of the larua roots. Thankfully, you don’t have any such need.
>”I’m doing it anyway,” Max says in a sotto snicker, reaching out and grabbing a hooffull of mist. “Prepare to be handsome, Tiny-Tia…”
>”…/There’s/ the thomery.” Lucky Favor says with a point of her white hoof. You turn to follow it, seeing a pitch black, rectangular building sticking out from the rainbow of other structures. Even from here, and even as a body mender, you can see the miasmic traces of magical signatures wafting from within. You suppress a shudder, glad you’re so far away from the ominous shape. “Thomeries are quite distinct due to the high levels of ambient magic within. You can practically see the containment runes from here!”
>”Buck me, those are some fancy symbols,” Max whispers under her breath, still hard at work with her glob of mist. You tilt your head at the vulgar expression. As Lucky Favor gives Max a glare, the pegasus intentionally looks past her to turn to you. “Cultural expression. Say it whenever you’re impressed. Trust me, it’s super polite.”
>You doubt something as vulgar as that would be considered polite in any society. Then again, coming from someplace thousands of cubits from the ground might spawn more cultural differences than you’d think.
>Lucky Favor continues, “After that, we should try and find a map of the coastline. That will allow me to cast an ambient direction spell on the wagon. Then we won’t have to manually drive it to the dockyard…” Lucky’s voice trembles with excitement.
>You nod, hopeful and already excited for being well away from this place.
>”Wait, wait, wait!” Max suddenly blurts out. “Are you saying we’re just gonna walk in there and go on a shopping spree? What if somepony recognizes us, or the Red Garden are here?”
>Lucky sighs, the excitement draining from her system. “That is the main problem,” she relents, her ears flopping down to her skull. She looks on at the many markets; weapons shops, armor shops, shops for things you don’t recognize. “Shame, too…”
>An idea pops into your mind before it does anypony else’s. It isn’t a particularly pleasant idea, but the more you think about it, the more you realize this may be the best idea you’ve had. Not just for its practicality, but it also gives you a chance to repay the selflessness these ponies have shown you.
“I can go alone,” you say softly. Immediately, all eyes are on you. You look at each pair in turn, defending yourself with, “Anypony who would recognize you will not recognize me.”
>>
>>37515796
>Each pony has a different reaction to what you said. Max Gusto blinks, nodding slowly at your proposition as a small smile comes to her face. Lucky Favor’s frown deepens to dangerous levels. Tia stares at you with wide eyes, partially obscured by the half-transparent mustache on her face.
>Before anypony else can respond, though, Anonymous’ gruff voice cuts through with conviction. “No.”
>Max’s peach eyes flick between you and Anonymous. “Okay, I’m lost,” she says. “It’s a pretty good plan! Give Riverside some money and she goes into town to buy our shit, no fuss. Why the buck are we dismissing it again?!”
>Lucky Favor’s face whips to Max in a glare before she juts her head downward in Tia’s direction. Max gives a noncommittal shrug before Lucky returns to the subject, “I can’t say I’m not nervous, either. Riverside is… /how do you say/… erm, no offense, dear, but if I were to pick one of us to be a negotiator it wouldn’t be you.”
It hurts, even when you try to not let it. “It is okay,” you say with a smile, rubbing your foreleg with a hoof. “But I still believe this is the safest option. Unless Max Gusto would prefer to steal our supplies under the cover of night?”
>”Buck you,” Max spits. You flinch at the severity in her voice. You didn’t mean to offend her! Pegasi simply make good thieves!
>Anonymous gives Max a flick on the muzzle, causing the mare to scrunch, before turning to you. “I’m coming, then,” he says.
>You’re scrambling to deny him, but Lucky Favor beats you to it.
>”/Absolutely not!/” she almost shouts.
>”I can handle myself, Lucky,” Anonymous defends. “It’s my job to protect you all, remember?”
>Lucky Favor looks like she has a rebuttal, but the human doesn’t let her make it.
>“If they’re part of the team,” he affirms. “I’m their housecarla as well.” Each word is like a disciplinary tap to Lucky’s horn.
>Lucky bows her head and grumbles. “/I know that/… but if anypony down there is looking for us, you’d be the first they would recognize. It wouldn’t be a problem of whether you could handle yourself. They’d know we were here.”
>For a brief moment, the look on Lucky Favor’s face reminds you of something that happened years ago. During the winter months, a group of foals had escaped from the clutches of a rabid griffon on the outskirts of the mountain, because of the sacrifice of their mother. When you were dressing one of the foal’s wounds, that filly had the same look of raw fear that briefly plasters Lucky’s face.
>…You want to befriend this unicorn.
>You’re going to help her, and that’s final. You won’t be talked out of this.
>>
>>37515798
>Anonymous’ defenses falter. His shoulder slump, and all he can do is look at Lucky in an uncomfortable stalemate.
>Max’s squeaky voice cuts through the silence. “I know this is asking a lot of you, Noninator, but don’t look so gloomy.”
>Anonymous’ face definitely doesn’t look gloomy anymore. Incredibly annoyed and exasperated, but not gloomy. “Oh my God, if you ever call me that again…” he mutters, but his words pass under Max’s radar as she continues,
>”Besides! Look at her, dude. She’s an earth pony; she’s twice our size! I doubt anypony will pick a fight with her.”
>Anonymous looks at you, studying your frame, your fur, and your muscles. You are certainly no maretinet, but you haven’t let your body mending get in the way of your fitness.
>/…Is he impressed?/
>Obviously, you won’t ask him this. All you can do is sit stock still.
>Lucky Favor glares at you before turning away.
>…Darnit, you’ve messed up again.
>“Tell you what,” Max says, her gaze drifting to you. There’s still a hint of bitterness at your calling her a thief, but she seems to be pushing it away at the moment. “I’ll keep watch from overhead. Nopony’ll see me, and if anypony gives her any trouble, I’ll help her kick their flanks. Worst case scenario, I’ll grab her and bolt. I carried your fat human butt, so I can definitely handle her when the time comes!”
>Max holds out a foreleg and flexes, driving her point home. You’re more than a little put off by the fact she’d so openly admitted to carrying Anonymous, and had even called him… overweight, which he is most certainly /not/.
>”What if something happens indoors?” Anonymous asks. “How will you know she needs help?”
>Max only flicks an ear as her answer. Anonymous sighs, putting his face in his hands.
“Anonymous,” you say with certitude. He turns to you, his eyes appearing much older and more tired than they have any right to. “I know it is unpredictable, but… please trust me.”
>Anonymous says nothing. His gaze is fixated on you, but it’s nothing like before. His eyes are narrowed and his lips are pursed. The look he gives you now reminds you of your blood father.
>After a while, Anonymous closes his eyes and sighs through his nose. With a subtle shake of his head, he finally mutters, “…Fine.”
>Before you can respond, a certain filly pipes up from Lucky Favor’s forelegs. The words are unfamiliar in her mouth, but are spoken with such passion and obliviousness they leave no room for interpretation.
>“Buck me!” Tia chirrups.
>>
>>37515802
>As if a switch had been flicked, three glares are now unanimously trained on Max Gusto. The lime pegasus becomes petrified under your scrutiny. Her wings flutter in emotion before she lets out a forced chuckle. “Wow, that backfired!” she giggles as she scratches the back of her head. “Didn’t expect her to pick that up so easily! She’s a smart cookie! You’ve got a smart cookie there, Lucky-loo, that’s for sure! I’m gonna walk over there and stand in the corner!”
>Max swivels on her heels before powerwalking to the other side of the wagon, her head hung low and her face a bright shade of crimson. Your glare stays trained on the pegasus all the way there.
>”Tia, dear,” Lucky coos as she sets the filly on the ground. “Do you know what that means? Be honest, now.”
>Tia’s eyes are wide as she turns between Lucky and, surprisingly, you. Why won’t she look at Anonymous? “nup!” Tia affirms. “why Macks scawed?”
>”Why don’t you go and ask Max that yourself?” Lucky asks patiently.
>Tia nods her head excitedly before scuttling off towards the pegasus. Tia more hops across the ground than gallops, almost like a bunny with unfurled wings and an oversized horn. You feel your heart warming over the tiny filly all over again.
>Once Tia is out of sight, it is only you, Lucky, and Anonymous sitting in a line overlooking the village. Lucky Favor’s demeanor suddenly changes as she excitedly chitters, “Anonymous, do you remember what you told me last night, about your pay? I believe this may be a good chance for you to make amends with Tia.”
>You blink. You /do/ find it strange that Tia has been avoiding Anonymous, but why would Lucky be bringing that up now?
>”We can focus on that later,” Anonymous says neutrally, confirming your confusion.
>”But Anonymous, I can clearly see the bakery!” Lucky says as she once again points her hoof towards the marketstead like a filly pointing out her favorite treat. “It’s on the way back from the thomery! It’s in the perfect spot!”
>”Lucky, neither of us know what you’re talking about.”
>”Tia’s favorite treat is cake!” Lucky grins victoriously, peering over Anonymous’ shoulder to make sure Tia is nowhere in hearing distance. “I believe that if Riverside could buy one from that bakery, you could present it to Tia.”
>Lucky Favor turns to you hopefully. Anonymous, meanwhile, is shaking his head in disbelief. “You don’t need to worry about repaying me,” Lucky says. “In fact, you don’t need to repay me for any of these supplies. Just… Please, Riverside, could you do this?”
>/Is this your chance?/
>>
>>37515804
>You want to do this. You want to help Anonymous, and you want to show Lucky Favor that you can be relied on with more than just body mending. So why do you feel so uneasy about it?
>”For fuck’s sake, Lucky,” Anonymous suddenly growls. “We’re not getting the cake.”
>”/What?!/” Lucky throws her hooves up. Why not?!”
“I-I can do it, Anonymous,” you breathe.
>”Tia would /really/ like it,” Lucky pleads earnestly. “Anonymous, it wouldn’t be more than an extra five minutes and a few doits.”
>”Do you not realize how dangerous all of this is without the fucking cake?” Anonymous snaps. You flinch at the human’s tone, but Lucky Favor doesn’t even bat an eye. She only frowns, scrunching her muzzle in disappointment. Anonymous sighs, shaking his head before turning to you. His voice is soft as he speaks. “It’s already risky enough. Every second in there is a second that can go wrong. Just the thome and the map, then get out of there, Riverside.”
>You take a moment, but soon nod at his words. It’s true, you would rather get this over with sooner rather than later, but…
>…You really want Anonymous to know he can count on you. You want everypony to know they can count on you.
>”Alright, fine,” Lucky Favor says. She clears her throat before turning to you. “I lost myself for a moment there. I apologize, Riverside. That was selfish of me to suggest. You are already doing so much.”
“No, it’s…” you start, but find no words. You simply nod, desperately wanting to start already.
>There isn’t much to do in terms of preparations. After removing half of its original value, Lucky Favor hoofs you a bag of 300 doits, which you attach to the string on your hip. Anonymous crosses his arms and paces while you pat down your Marestrichtian travelers’ attire, his eyes shifting between glaring at the marketstead and giving you an unreadable look. You don’t miss how cold his eyes are as they inspect you neutrally.
>Lucky absolves Max from her banishment, and soon the both of you are making your way towards the village.
>Max doesn’t say much, besides a simple, “Signal me if you need help,” before she gives a flap of her wings and ascends into the air. You watch the pegasus’ light colors blend in with the canvas above, a lime-green dot in the sea-blue sky, before she eventually touches down on a cloud above.
>As Max is separating a suitable perch from the cloud, you hear a voice suddenly pipe up from behind.
>"Riverside!” Lucky calls out as she slows to a stop. You flick around to see the white unicorn approaching, panting from her sudden departure. Had she forgotten something?
>Surprisingly, though, Lucky gives you a bow of her head. “I wanted you to know that I really appreciate this,” she says. “And I bid you well. I don’t think I made that clear before you left. And I'd like to apologize once again about the... cake incident. I forgot how uncomfortable this all is for you.”
>>
>>37515812
>Lucky turns upwards and back to you. Her cyan eyes are genuine, brimming with determination. You open your mouth to respond, but Lucky beats you to it. “I understand I'm coming off as a bit...” she starts, before thinking carefully about her next words. “/…Irritable./ Not /jealous./ I am most certainly not the /jealous/ type."
>It clicks for you.
>All this time, Lucky Favor’s attitude towards you had been distant. It’s no wonder, when you look at Anonymous, Max Gusto, and even you. Tartarus, you’ve felt these very feelings when you were a filly! How could you have not seen this before?
>”So…” Lucky hesitates, tapping her hooves together. “…May the Ancient Lady of Serendipity smile upon you, Bountiful Riverside.”
Your lips pull into a smile you can’t hope to fight against. You give Lucky Favor – your new Sachemare – a bow once again. “Thank you, Lucky Favor,” you say warmly. Lucky’s smile mirrors your own until you continue to speak. “If you have any questions about growing into yourself, I would be happy to help. You need only ask.”
>Lucky Favor blinks. “…Pardon?”
“To become more muscular!” you say. “It is true that you are the skinniest of the bunch. But that can change with a good diet and proper exercise. I will be happy to explain further once we are back on the road.”
>You feel silly, having not recognized Lucky’s insecurity sooner. It seems so obvious in hindsight, being the leader of her group, yet also the least physically imposing. Her sullen attitude she had sent your way when Anonymous was studying your body must be confirmation.
>”…/Th--/” Lucky stammers, her eyes shrunken to pinpricks and scarlet invading her face. “…Th-THAT’S NOT--! I--! /UGH!/”
>Lucky lets out a grating groan of exasperation before turning tail and stomping away from you, back to the misty confines of her wagon.
>…Oh.
>Fighting back the burning at your cheeks, you turn back to the marketstead. Max is now perched on her little slice of a cloud, her snow white tail hanging inconspicuously off its edge. Using the pegasus as an anchor of security, you double check the doit bag on your hip, adjust the furry collar of your jacket, and begin marching toward the marketstead.
>/Map of the coastline. Ambient mass-magic thome. Avoid confrontation./
>/…Ancients give you strength to not let the magic bring anything up that you’re trying so hard to keep down./
>>
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>>37515815
That's all for now. Sorry for the delay; I don't have as much free time now as I did when I started this story
https://ponepaste.org/5508
>>
>>37515819
>tfw you cant shake the idea that something is going to go horribly wrong in this town.
Good show.
All this relationship drama is delicious
I'm also left wondering whether tia and fausts magic are inherently different or if its something to do with 'how' its being cast.
>>
>>37515459
Alright, honest question: How WOULD a Pony that's like Chris Chan fair in RGRE?. We'll say the pony is a Mare so we have the whole "looking for Marefriend-Free Stallion" thing and what have you.

Do you think they'd get trolled on the ponynet? Would Harmony put a stop to that shit really damn quick and send the Mane Six to help? Would making the poor bastard a Stallion change anything to how they're treated?

(And no, this isn't a "send Chris Chan to Equestria" thing, just a pony that acts a LOT like them. Like, they draw really shitty comics based around some weird ass character they've got that's a literal mix between whatever's popular at the time)
>>
>>37516183
Honest answer: KYS
>>
Boys any good female discord stories?
>>
>>37516183
she'd be a poorly adjusted mono trying to find a herd-free stallion, but not having the backing of royalty to smoothe over the wrinkles like can't-dance did
>>
>>37516208
The Eris Plan, Chaotic Happenstance, and there was one done by the guy who did Villain anon, but only Chaotic Happenstance is finished, Eris Plan’s on indefinite hiatus until Sunn comes back.
>>
>>37516236
I'll take a look at Chaotic Happenstance then. Is it on the archive or ponpaste?
>>
That Fluttershy story in the featured box would be interesting if not for the blatant retarded newspeak about being valid and talking about being an ally, or the extreme aversion to using the word gay or lesbian.
I fucking hate zoomers.
>>
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>>37516296
Same for the Rainbow Dash/Rara story.
Everypony getting pissed at Rara for wanting to ask if RD is a faggot or not, and for some reason RD getting upset when Rara does.
What is the fixation on making a big deal out of sexuality? Either make the character gay or not, and get on with it. It doesn't need a 6k fic on trying to ask one thing and making drama over a non-issue.
>>
>>37515819
Please don't dump that much in a thread at once like that, no one's gonna actually read all that shit. In thread greens should be short and sweet. Preferably under 10,000 characters. Not trying to be rude, just trying to help.
>>
>>37516311
>not reading dumps
Fuck off, illiterate nigger.
>>
>>37516183
Who in their right mind would let someone like chris be in equestria?
>>
>>37516311
There's literally no issue with a large dump of green.
Piss off.
>>
>>37516311
I don't know about you but for me green =good, and more green = better
The longer the update the more excited and immersed I become.
Plus you can just read the whole thing directly on ponepaste as well.
>>
>>37516311
Well i agree with this anon, i mean i dont read that story anyway, but its a good advice
>>
>>37516311
>Not trying to be rude, just trying to help.
you failed
>>
>>37516334
>>37516337
Luna, you're having a schizophrenic episode, take your meds.
>>
>>37516311
Please stop trying to help.
An argument could be made for smaller snippets at a time if the thread is highly active but on a slow day a full dump is perfectly fine.
>>
>>37516242
It’s in Lap’s bin so I’m not sure if it ever got transferred to ponepaste or not, but I’d highly recommend Eris Plan also, in case Sunn does come back eventually.
>>
>>37516311
>no one's gonna actually read all that shit
Fuck you I did. And I enjoyed it, faggot.
>>
>All those responses to the guy.
This perfectly encapsulates the concept of "People read and enjoy posted green even if they dont drop a (you) on it."
>>
>>37516377
Yeee I finished Chaotic. I will say, despite how annoying it was to read, I like the anon, it was funny. But now I'm reading Eris' Plan as I type this friend.
>>
>>37516414
It’s a good read, there’s a portion where it starts to drag in the Everfree but you’ll at least not have to wait on updates to get through it.
>>
>>37516339
Kek
>>
>>37515819
A-okay my man, as long as the updates keep coming
>>
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>>37516311
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>>37516414
The Eris Plan is a really good one, it does drag on for a little bit however. When you're doing reading it you can desperately wait for Sunn to return like the rest of us!
>>
>>37516324
>>37516327
>>37516334
>>37516337
>>37516371
>>37516396
>>37516412
>>37516631
I stand corrected. Still way more than I'll ever read at once on /mlp/ though.
>>
>>37516649
And you're still a fag for telling others to cut back on green.
>>
>>37516649
Your brain has been cucked by social media and you can't read: we get it
That's not our problem though is it?
>>
Ok leaving that behind, let get to RGRE now, where the fuck is amazon sunset?!
>>
>>37516649
If you don't want to read greens on a slow RGRE thread you're free to fuck off.
>>
>>37516871
Dead in a ditch for slapping the Donna's husband's ass
>>
>>37516871
Hanged for the war crimes she committed in Afghanistan.
>>
>>37516871
agreed, that shit is fire asf I think there was a couple posts of her last thread, also I have the bin if you want it, but Yeah were tf comfy at bro
>>
>>37517033
Honkey: spotted.
>>
>tfw the average mare will simp for some gamer colt so hard that she'll pay money just to be acknowledged on-stream
>>
>>37517071
I love this picture because it makes me laugh, but I always wondered what the FUCK is wrong with Rarity's face?
>>
>>37516311
You are an actual goblin.
>>
>>37515819
What a glorious fucking update. You bastard. You genius. Please continue, I'm loving this drama!
>>
Guys, don't give (You)s to the subhuman. Give them to the writefag instead.
>>
>>37515819
Keep it up man
>>
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>>37516311
have you ever considered keeping your mouth shut and never talking again? Not trying to be rude, just trying to help.
>>
>>37516311
t. illiterate nigger
>>
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>>37517071
>most ``gamercolts`` are just a bunch of masculine thots who show themselves off on camera while ``playing`` some random cheap shovelware
>they have about the same personality and MO
>in comes anon who starts his own gaming channel and streams
>not only does he not show any skin, he doesn`t even use a camera, prefering to let his viewers see the gameplay and only hear his voice
>swears like a sailor, but is genuinely entertaining to watch and quite skilled at whatever it is he plays
>the viewer base of most colt thots plummets practically overnight as they all flock to anon
>only the most hopeless coomer mares who barely even care about the gameplay keep watching them
>>
>>37516311
Truly illiterate goblin behavior
>>
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>>37517659
He is up there with Celestia in the streaming sphere.
>>
>>37517033
Bloody give them my fellow amazon enjoyer
>>
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>>37517659
I like Pencil's Anon.
>>
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>>37516325
Obviously she wouldn't be on the same level, I'd imagine something more akin to FlurryNEET

>MY MOTHER AND MY FATHER ARE ANGRY AT ME.
>I want everything ABOUT MY CASTLE. OFF. THE. PONYNET.
>I'll send in sorcerers, I'll send in royal guards, I'll send everything in my POWER

>You get all that stuff off of there. Tonight!
>I'm workin' on it
>Go work on it!
>I am work-
>Do you realize, do you realize something? Let me tell you. If Queen Chrysalis of the Changeling hive sees those videos, that you put on the damn ponynet, they could infest our castle, and we would have to move out of it!

>I'M WORKIN' ON IT
>>
>>37510344
It's not spot-on for various reasons, but I have this thread pegged as 719.
>>
>>37518412
>719
Wait, that can't be right.
>In the busiest days of the RGRE thread, we burnt through the entire 500 replies and then some under 24 hours.
>The thread is originating from before 2016, maybe even 2015.
Okay, that... actually somehow makes sense.
Holy shit.
>>
>>37518462
I remember RGRE starting somewhere in 2014.
>>
>>37518412
Huh, we could just say the next thread is 720 and just continue off of that. But hot damn I didn't realize there were that many threads.
>>
>>37518516
That is correct. There is zero chance our thread count is anywhere near 700.

>>37518412
>>37518536
Retarded
>>
>>37518412
>>37518462
>>37518516
>>37518536
>>37518682
Also remember that for a while someone decided it was funny to change up the title of the threads from "Reverse Gender Roles Equestria" and "Reversed Gender Roles Equestria"
>>
>>37510170
Luv the Chaos Noodle.
>>
>>37518723
Good times. That wasn't anywhere near as autistic as the giant fucking battle on /tg/ over whether /cyoa/ meant Choose Your Own Adventure or Create Your Own Adventure. That shit got personal.
>>
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>>37518738
i must have missed that, but sounds par for the course for /tg/
>>
>>37518778
Yup. It split the thread for, fuck, I don't remember how long, and both threads were full of shitposting and people screaming at each other.
>>
>>37518809
i don't think i've actually spent any meaningful length of time on /tg/ since 2012-13ish? the last truly great thing i remember was storytiem's grand campaign with muramasa and the fatesworn
>>
>>37518813
It had a good run through, say, 2014 or 2015'ish. There were some big CYOAs that prompted the creation of their own thread and cooperative storytelling. Fun times. Like most things 4chin, though, everything went to shit with the US 2016 election. That coupled with GG made the site too high vis and the infestation of tourists killed whatever magic this place had.
>>
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>>37515819
>random erf pone just walks into a unicorn caravan and buys a magic book before waltzing off into a mist cloud
>this is supposed to not be fishy to anyone
Sending riverside in makes literally no sense
You'd think faust would use the magic coat color changing flower she just got a few paragraphs earlier
>>
>finished Eris' Plan
>tfw its not finished
Fuck you for suggesting this story, it's good.
>>
>>37518854
Welcome to our suffering. Pray for Sunn's quick return.
>>
Frosty. I'm sorry baby please come back.
>>
>guards horses face when the castle sloot tries to pet all of her soldiers while they're on duty
>>
>>37518738
What? That’s retarded. The books are literally called Choose Your Own Adventure. What retard thinks it means Create?
>>
>>37518894
>niggers read
>>
>>37518893
god I wish that were me. the pony getting pet I mean.
>>
>>37518893
Local farm horse will gladly take the castle petting sloot
>>
>>37518778
what is /tg/?
>>
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>>37518924
this has to be bait
i refuse to believe that you are simultaneously that stupid and lazy
>>
>>37518909
fuck that's a cute Limey.
>>
>>37518894
>What retard thinks it means Create?
The retards of /tg/.
>>
>>37518924
/tg/ is the trans general on mlpol
>>
>>37518928
Nah, just new to the site. Im only here for mlp shit anyway.
>>
>>37519057
LURK MOAR NEWFAG
>>
>>37519057
lurk more dumbass
>>
>>37519057
It’s “Traditional Games”
Tabletop/boards games, etc
Think wh40k, but like the actual miniatures
>>
Anyone remember that one short story from a few years ago where Rainbow Dash has Twilight over to do mare stuff in her mare-cave, and Anon basically set up cat toys and equipment for Rainbow Dash under the cover story making her exercise equipment? Like a toy that made a laser pointer point in random directions, and Rainbow would try to bat at it. And a cat tree in case Rainbow wanted to sleep higher up, which starts to sound appealing to Twilight. It involved Anon serving them peanut butter rolls to them. I think probably Shukaku, BrandNewWriteFag, or NotOneFuck might have written it, but I can't find shit anywhere. And I'm a big dumb retard and can't figure out the combination of keywords to use to search the archive.
>>
>>37518845
She doesnt know the spell, thats the entire reason they're going in.
>>
>>37519159
Fuck I just recently read that one. Wish I could help you.
>>
>>37519159
You mean the one that was referenced and linked to sometime during the last week? Yes, anon, I have a memory that extends longer than a week.
>>
>>37519421
I am unfortunately retarded.
>>
>>37519421
Could you do a poor dumbass a favor and link to it?
>>
>>37519421
I'd say "There's no need to be a dick," but it's obvious you're autistic and lack the capability.
So instead I'll just say, stop posting.
Unless you post the story link you're fagging about, of course.
>>
>>37519436
>>37519435
>>37519428
Start searching: >>37477486
I'm not going to look for you when I already told you where to look and the OP almost always has a backlink.
>>
>>37519467
Nobody cares.
>>
>>37519467
>do you know where i can find this thing
>>yup
>will you show it to me?
>>fuck no idiot find it yourself, heres a link to the thread it was once posted on some time in the past
this is why your family actually doesn't love you
>>
>>37519467
I already looked, asswipe, and nothing turned up. Fuck you, it was already posted last week. I looked all the way back to fucking June and nothing was posted. So either post the link or pull my cheeks apart and dine on my asshole.
>>
>>37519159
sure do, im not a dickless faggot so here.

https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/25060640/#q25154006
>>
>>37519528
Classic.
>>
>>37519159
That sounds cute as cute as fuck
>>37519528
thanks homie
>>
>>37519540
You are correct, it is indeed cute as fuck.
>>
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>>37519510
>>
>>37518854
It’s okay Anon, Sunn said he’d come back so you’ve just gotta trust that he will.
>>
>>37519635
It's not fair bro. :(
>>
>>37519684
It's the biggest problem with Eris stories, almost none of them have been finished.
>>
>>37519602
Well I mean it's monday so "last week" could technically refer to anything between 1 and 7 days ago.
>>
>>37519057
Unironically BASED because fuck the other boards.
Verification not required.
>>
>>37519770
>almost none of them have been finished.
It also seems like, none of them seem to actually go anywhere. I'm looking specifically for NSFW stuff, but I actually still like to see some kind of build up to something interesting, not just like
>things are building up
>okay that's the end boys.
>>
>>37516649
I never read the stories. As I don't like reading books. But, you know what? I understand others do. Respect the fact others like reading long greentext. Not everyone is like you.
>>
>>37515819
Another update of my fave ongoing green! Fantastic shit. From the grin I got when Max officially joined to how autistic Riverside is, this is a good ride. I hope there won't be too much awkward love triangle stuff tho.
We got a scout, a tank, a healer, and the mascot. The party's coming together.
>>37518845
The whole point is that she can't use em until she learns the spell for it, which is why they're looking for a magic tome on the subject. Also it's a band of traveling merchants. I'm sure they're used to suspicious people buying wares. I bet their attitude is just "Don't fuck with our shit and pay up, and we won't care who you are or what you do."
You don't make much money by being picky with customers I reckon.
>>
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>>37518682
I've saved all of them. I say my count isn't accurate because I've got a bunch of .5 threads that died early, sometimes .8s or whatever when we had two deds in a row, some .5s that probably shouldn't have been when a thread died at around 400 posts, and two threads I repeated a number on. There was one extreme case at thread 233(March 2017), where it ate shit five times in a row before getting a full thread for the sixth attempt.
>>
>>37520245
>that folder properties window design
Anon... just what edition of Windows do you use? ME? 2000?
...98?
>>
>>37520344
There are Classic Theme options for Windows 7, 8, and 10, so I doubt its that old.
>>
>>37520344
Its windows 7, look at the folder icon.
>>
>>37519938
Yeah, there’s general one off Eris smit, like The Carnival Comes but Once a Year, but the actual big stories either never got to it or might not have planned on having it in the first place, point is Eris smut is also hard to come by.
Even the Flutterrape story she got didn’t have any sex in it.
Here’s a link to it if you’re interested, it’s a personal favorite.
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/36172645/#36185703
>>
>>37520418
Let me rephrase, I meant to say I'm not specifically looking for NSFW, but I am interested in seeing it build up to it.

>even the flutterrape didnt get any sex
The fuck that just defeats the purpose lmfao.
>>
>>37520422
It doesn’t defeat it, since the thread is specifically about not fucking, the Eris story was just all about the chase, since realistically she could win whenever she decided to.
>>
>>37520427
>It doesn’t defeat it, since the thread is specifically about not fucking.
Now I don't go into the >flutterrape threads, but isn't the implied point given the inclusion of rape in the name?
>>
>>37520436
Not really, it’s called that because “Fluttershy’s really horny and wants a boyfriend but is bad at seduction” is too long of a name.
Sometimes there’s sex but it’s not really the focus.
>>
>>37520452
Huh. I might have to check out some >flutterrape stories then, cause I thought it was centered around >rape
>>
>>37520456
If I recall correctly, it's just called that because, at the time, it was a common thing that Fluttershy just Point Blank asks Anon if >rape is his fetish.
>>
>>37520467
I do remember the fluttershy and >rape fetish memes, yeah. I just never bothered with the stories out of the general.
>>
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>>37519057
Anon, you got a fucking link to it at the top of your screen.
It's the board that discuss dumb shit like DnD & WH40K, mostly to yell at each other how much they hate DnD & WH40K.
Sometime they have cool thread about lore/worldbuilding tho, useful to lurk there if you are a content creator with a bad case of writerblock.
>>
>>37520724
>pic
>Anon has a foal with Twilight
>Unfortunately, Anon took it upon himself to build his new family a home during Twilight's pregnancy
>He is not a good carpenter (in fact, he isn't one period) and was convinced to give up after he nearly killed himself when his shitty like shack collapsed on him, for the fifth time
>Twilight was around to show her support for her silly husband (and, let's be real, subtly help him with her magic to keep him from dying), and it seems that Anon Jr. picked up on her daddy's near-constant stream of curse words over the course of nearly 11 months
>Their daughter is born, and her first words are "fucking faggot"
>It's all downhill from there
>The filthiest mouth in Ponyville
>>
>>37520904
>>Their daughter is born, and her first words are "fucking faggot"
nah. they can be her third words after a derivative of 'momma' and 'dadda'. have her direct 'fucking faggot' at caramel for extra lulz
>>
>>37518924
It stands for "totally gay"
>>
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>Rgre Eris looks old and weird
>when she becomes discord she looks like pic related
>>
>>37521237
Twinkcord
>>
>>37521237
Oh, haven't seen these in a while. Applying R63 twice and see a character turn into something else.
R63 Solaris looks nice though.
>>
anyone have the clip of the 4cc preshow saying 'incest is wincest' after the whole chrischan debacle? i could use a laugh
>>
>>37521289
Do you mean this?
>>
>>37521302
>>37521289
Fuck, hit send too fast:
https://files.catbox.moe/1j380w.mp4
>>
>>37521253
Kek
>>
>>37521304
yep. exactly what i was looking for.
thanks anon
>>
>>37521315
Here, have Bors saying something that may be a new chant in the future.

https://files.catbox.moe/32azrd.mp3
>>
>>37521315
Also, have the classic Artificial Vagina discussion:
https://files.catbox.moe/8k08b2.webm
>>
>>37521681
Same as when I watched live, my sides go into orbit.
It's Craig's recounting the 'THE AV (Artificial vagina)' deadpan that wrecks me.
>>
>>37520921
yeah that sounds good
>>
>>37521273
>R63 Solaris looks nice though.
yeah, s/he really does, holy shit
>>
>tfw had some weird idea about RGRE double standards
>can't remember it now, only that it wasn't "lol stallions can be vulnerable but mares can't"
fug
>>
I remember seeing that one short green with you getting SIREN'D which, although im not into BLACKED and its asorted counterparts, ngl, SIREN'D is hot as fuck whilst somehow staying wholesome.
>>
>>37522130
A good fish is a cooked fish
>>
>>37522203
Dialing B for Based rn
>>
>You are Celestia, waking up in darkness as you always do.
>You slip out of bed and trod a path polished smooth by millennia of hoofsteps.
>From your balcony, your horn lights up, a spark that lights the flame of a new day.
>You take a few moments to bask in the silent dawn, then turn back to find Raven Inkwell standing at the door with her ruthless clipboard.
"Good morning, Raven."
>She bows at your approach, meticulously formal as alw-
>The dawn light spilling into the room dims, then retreats.
>You wheel to face the balcony once more.
>There is no eclipse, no threatening clouds, just the darkness of the night sky.
>You frown and raise the sun once more.
>There isn't any unusual resistance, so you set it once more on its morning course.
>You stare at it for a long minute, waiting for some sign of unruliness.
>Raven coughs.
>"Good morning, your majesty. Should the elements be mobilized?"
>You turn away from your sun and sigh.
"No, not yet."
>You scribble out a letter in flawless calligraphy.
"Nox Movet, discretely deliver this to Fluttershy and return with her response. Keep an eye out for signs of Discord, but do not seek him out."
>The thestral creeps out from under the ledge of your balcony, accepts the scroll, salutes, then flits away.
>You trot toward the door of your chambers, Raven already briefing you on your schedule for the day.
>Back to the grind.
--
>The high point of your day comes just before noon, pun intended.
>You take a moment to push the sun to its zenith, then pay attention once more to Anon's tirade.
>"-elderberries. Seriously, I think I saw buck teeth, not to mention the bobbed tail."
>You take a sip of tea and smile.
"A common alteration among alchemists. Less to swing about and knock volatile concoctions down."
>He pauses, then shrugs with poor grace.
>"Okay, maybe that was just me not knowing. But trust me, using some goblet of power or whatever to have a seance with the spirits of great heroes will only end in tragedy."
>You pout.
"It would be nice to talk to some old friends again, though."
>>
>>37522484
>Anon deflates slightly, then looks at you with a grim expression.
>"Would it be nice to have to fight them while they are in mana-saturated artificial bodies?"
>You think it over.
"It still would be nice, but the risk of collateral damage is still too great. What do you think, villain or over-enthusiastic researcher?"
>He chews on his lip distractingly.
>It's honestly pretty cute and the tiniest bit suggestive.
>"Probably the latter. Maybe get Cadance in to matchmake for her, chances are good that Stayed Fate has some sort of historical crush or perversion."
>You nod in agreement, that had been your impression as well.
>As you write to make some arrangements, it happens again.
>Your sun drifts back down.
>You flare your magic and feel the slightest bit of resistance before you have full control of the celestial body.
>Anon raises an eyebrow as you move it back to it's scheduled arc.
>"It's okay, Princess. It happens to everyone sometime. There's no shame in not being able to keep it up."
>You blink.
>That is not the reaction of a surprised or curious person.
>You narrow your eyes at your lunchtime companion.
"You!"
>He raises his eyebrow in amateurly feigned puzzlement.
>"Me?"
>You snort.
"Try again in one thousand years, when your acting might actually deceive me. How are you doing this? Discord? An artifact? A team of archmages?"
>No reaction to any of your guesses as he hesitates to answer.
>Perhaps...
"You got your cutie mark?"
>Anon twitches minutely.
>You beam at him.
"Congratulations! What triggered it? May I see it?"
>He blushes .
>"I just wondered what it would be like to actually move the sun, and then...I did."
>You blink.
"Really? Have you tried anything else?"
>His brows furrow adorably.
>"Like what?"
>You think for a moment before a brilliant idea occurs to you.
"If you can move my sun, then there is something similar to try. In fact, if you are mimicking talents, you ought to be able to alter the topography as well as trajectory."
>Anon looks at you in dawning wonder.
>"Oh, oh this is amazing!"
>He starts giggling and you are not far behind.
>Things had gotten a little boring lately, this is exactly what you needed.
--
>You are Twilight Sparkle, pacing a rut into your Crystal Castle Playset™ floor.
"It's probably nothing, right? I mean, if it was something, then Princess Celestia would definitely tell me right?"
>Spike continues to dust the shelves as he deadpans, "Right."
>You gnaw on your lip.
>There's never been a disruption to the celestial procession that hasn't been caused by some element-worthy disaster.
>You glance once more at Spike, and he still shows no signs of belching out a scroll.
>So, either Celestia is pranking somepony, Discord is waxing whimsical, or some threat from ancient Equestrian history has resurfaced and incapacitated Celestia.
>Again.
"Spike, take a note."
>You'll get to the bottom of this, one way or another.
"Dear Princess Celestia, Is everything alright? I couldn't help but notice..."
>>
>>37522130
>SIREN'D
which entails what?
>>
>>37522489

>After your letter vanishes in a tongue of emerald flames, you teleport to Fluttershy's cottage.
>You scrunch as you see Discord reclining on a pool chair on top of the thatched roof, an immense bag of buttered popcorn towering over him and filling the air with its delicious scent.
>Maybe you should have had lunch before confronting him, but it's too late now.
"Discord, have you been messing with the sun today?"
>He affects a hurt expression, his bird leg fused to the bag, pausing with a clawful of popcorn.
>"Who, little old me? Why is it that whenever something strange happens, your first suspect is always me?"
>You keep from scrunching by the skin of your teeth.
>This is exactly why stallions shouldn't have access to true power.
"You are one of maybe two beings with the power to alter the sun's course. I'd be a fool not to ask."
>He smirks at the backhanded flattery and pops a few kernels into his mouth.
>"Mm, we can't have that, can we? You are right, I am one of the few who can, but it wasn't me, filly scout's honor."
>You raise an eyebrow.
"You're not a filly scout."
>Discord sniffs.
>"It's fine, I'll give it back to Scootaloo once I'm done with it, no harm done."
>You drag a hoof across your face tiredly.
"So, to be clear, you promise you're not involved, swearing by Scootaloo's filly scout's honor?"
>He beams.
>"Yep! But I have a really good feeling about how it's all going to go down, if that helps."
>You sigh.
"Can you at least tell me if anypony's in danger?"
>Discord eyes you speculatively.
>"Hmm, should I tell you?"
>Fluttershy opens her door, taking in the situation in a single glance.
>She smiles sweetly at the spirit of chaos.
>"Shall I get the paddle?"
>He blushes and coughs.
>"Well, ah, there is no danger, but you should still investigate, it will be quite interesting for you."
>You aren't really sure what to think.
>Fluttershy beams at Discord.
>"Good boy! And you know what good boys get?"
>You teleport away before you take any more damage to your sanity.
>In the quiet order of your room, you wonder if it was a mistake to leave a stallion, no matter how powerful, under a sole mare's care.
>Then again, Fluttershy already has him well in hoof, and it's not like you want to shoulder some of that responsibility.
>You flop onto your bed for a long moment, letting your stress flow out of you with long, measured breaths.
>Then you get up and get on with your day, your sanity only a little worse for wear.
--
>You are Celestia, sipping the last of your tea as the moon rises, your energy already ebbing after a long day.
>But seeing the crude and strange illustration of a dick on the lunar surface makes it all worth it.
>Not to mention the embarrassed squawk echoing from your sister's tower.
>You shuffle back to your bed with a grin, to sleep the sleep of the unjust.
--
>You are Luna, using the lingering traces of magic on your moon to scry for the perpetrator.
>>
>>37522494
>The divination settles, gently tugging you downward.
>You follow the pull into the palace gardens.
>There you find the human standing in a clearing, snickering to himself.
>You land in front of him and fix him with a stern glare.
"Anonymous, you dare mar my moon with your vulgar drawing? Do you think it a mere laughing matter?"
>He stares at you with a blank expression for several moments.
>Then he snickers again.
>"Come on, admit it, it was funny."
>You allow yourself a chuckle.
"I cannot deny it. Though I must ask, what being does that sort of penis belong to? It looks nothing like a stallionhood, nor that of a dragon, diamond dog, or griffin."
>Anon blushes fetchingly.
>"A...human."
>You raise your eyebrows at him.
"Are you propositioning me?"
>He licks his lips.
>"Do you want me to?"
>You boop his nose with a firm hoof to put him in his place.
"Enticing as you may be, I have a coltfriend already. I suppose the only remaining question is, how did you do it?"
>Anon shrugs.
>"I can imitate other pony's cutie marks."
>You eye him speculatively.
"Anypony's?"
>He nods hesitantly.
>"I played around a little with Celestia's earlier today."
>You start to grin.
"Do you think you can make a stable solar flare?"
>He gives you an intrigued look.
>"One way to find out."
--
>You are Celestia, waking up in darkness as you always do.
>You slip out of bed and trod a path polished smooth by millennia of hoofsteps.
>From your balcony, your horn lights up, a spark that lights the flame of a new day.
>Even without looking, you can feel what was done to the sun.
>And yet, while it would be but the work of a moment to fix it, your honor as a prankster compels you to raise it as is.
>The circle of your sun breaks past the horizon, or more accurately, the peach of your sun.
>From the cleft of the butt fires a solar flare larger than any you have made before.
>You are impressed at how it is subtly recaptured on the far side.
>The sun rises in the morning sky on a jet of flatulence, earning a sensible chuckle from you.
>You should probably write back to Twilight.
>Though, perhaps you should hide Anon's involvement, it will make a fun surprise for her, maybe help her loosen up a bit.
--
>[...hopefully reduce panic when the next celestial disturbance occurs. It had been millennia since we have had both the time and the security to allow us to play around with our personal magic. Perhaps you should consider doing the same? Just as much can be discovered in play as in study.]
>>
>>37522498
>You frown.
>Celestia and Luna have it easy, they have a physical object to play with.
>You have magic itself.
>What are you supposed to do, warp the nature of magic to draw slits everywhere?
>No wonder Discord is happy, that is exactly sort of thing he would do.
>You are tempted to ignore your mentor's suggestion, but she hasn't steered you wrong before.
>In fact, you are reminded of when she first sent you to Ponyville to make friends.
>When was the last time you really played around with magic?
>...
>When you gave Spike and those two colts mustaches, what, five or so years ago?
>Perhaps it is time to take a break and do silly things.
>...
>Like what though?
--
>You are Celestia, standing next to Luna as Anon arranges what he swears will be his magnum opus.
>You are little out of sorts, deflecting and defusing the various complaints the nobles and stallions have been sending in.
>Only now do you remember why you don't play large scale pranks that can be directly attributed to you.
>There are far too many who take it too seriously.
>Raven stands beside you, taking scrolls from functionaries and presenting them for your approval while you wait.
>You sign the papers, trusting Raven to select worthwhile proposals.
>Anon raises his hands, bringing your sun and Luna's moon high in the evening sky.
>It's a delicate balance, bringing them close enough together that they seem to overlap, while also making sure they are about the same apparent size.
>You are rather impressed, though you don't see the joke yet.
>Finally, once the two orbs have stabilized, Anon waves his arms up and down in exaggerated milking motions.
>A circular protrusion forms at the center of the sun as well as the moon.
>Anon turns and grins.
>"Teats!"
>You give him an unimpressed look.
>A glance at Luna tells you that she isn't particularly tickled either.
"Perhaps these jokes have run their course, if this is your magnum opus."
>Then you hear a snort of laughter from the last pony you would expect.
>You slowly turn to look at Raven, who is blushing and struggling to keep a straight face.
>Anon grins in delight and waves his hands, the sun and moon wavering in the sky.
>"Big, bouncing boobas!"
>Raven pounds the floor with her hoof, wheezing in laughter.
>You share a bewildered glance with Luna, who merely shrugs.
>You clear your throat.
"Anon, perhaps you can try imitating Raven's cutie mark?"
>The human pouts.
>"But...tiddies!"
>You sigh as your secretary collapses in laughter.
>What did you unleash on the world?
--
>You are Twilight, revising your definition of silly for the twentieth time.
>There is an element of spontaneity that you are missing, even after consulting Pinkie Pie.
>You have so many spells you can cast, but which would be the most fun?
>Should you be including other ponies, or can you be silly by yourself?
>>
>>37522507
>You had hoped that by levitating the objects in your room and giving them random velocities that you would be able to tap into a bit of discordian whimsy, but mostly it makes it hard to find things again.
>Nevertheless, you feel you might be onto something.
>Stallions and their whimsy are the very definition of silly, so perhaps by studying them, you can get some inspiration.
>Celestia's words echoed, "There's a time and a place for everything, but do not perform scientific studies on unsuspecting stallions."
>You grumble, foiled again by your mentor's wisdom.
>Your eye twitches.
>If you can't study stallions...
--
>You are Celestia, taking a tea break.
>Ever since you had Anon help out Raven, things have been running exceedingly smoothly.
>You have time for a cup of tea and some cookies, Raven has time to flirt with her human assistant, all the complaints about the celestial shenanigans are handled by Anon, it's like a dream.
>...
>You pinch yourself.
>Right, only like a dream.
>Maybe you can have Anon raise the sun tomorrow morning, so you can sleep in for once.
>Then a tongue of emerald flame deposits a rumpled scroll before you.
>You unroll it, wondering what happened for Twilight to send it in that condition.
>You recognize Spike's clawwriting.
>[...locked up in her lab, mane frazzled worse than ever before...]
>It appears you need to talk to your student.

>Ponyville itself is reassuringly not on fire or in ruins, though there is no hooftraffic near the crystal castle.
>You can't miss the subtle looks of relief in the citizenry's eyes as you pass them by.
>You enter the castle and freeze on the threshold.
>The entire lobby is covered in back issues of fashion and stallion lifestyle magazines.
>You step carefully through narrow paths.
"Twilight! Are you trapped under a pile of books again?"
>Sadly, that would be the best case scenario.
>Harmony knows you had to excavate her enough times when she raided the royal library.
>Instead, your voice is trapped and deadened by piles of coltish matter.
>You ascend a staircase, keeping an eye out for a rolling boulder of ball bras or something.
>As you step out onto the second floor, it becomes apparent that the boulder did not form because every ball bra is piled up around ponnequins.
>The ponnequins themselves are covered in minute calculations and incomprehensible notes.
>You follow the sound of panting and...birdsong?
>You open the door to a lab to find your troubled student hunched over small lozenges of metal with fins welded to the sides.
>Twilight beams at you, left eye twitching madly.
>"Princess Celestia! Have you come to see my breakthrough in stallion science?"
>You swallow nervously.
"Yes, I am curious about your methods."
>She nods happily.
>"Of course, of course. It wasn't easy, gathering enough data without actually examining stallions outside of passive methods."
>You breathe a sigh of relief.
>>
>>37522511
>You really didn't want to have to deal with a basement full of foalnapped stallions.
"What did you come up with then?"
>Twilight beckons you towards a black, iron cauldron.
>"After extensive reading, I believe I have narrowed down the essence of whimsy and masculinity. You remember the old rhyme, 'snips and snails and puppy dog tails, this is what little colts are made of'?"
>You frown.
"It rings a bell, however faintly."
>You peer into the cauldron.
>At the bottom, about twenty snails crawl over hoof clippings and hairs of every color, as well as trembling little tails, smooth flesh covering where it would have connected to the rest of the dog
>You resist the urge to vomit.
"Please tell me you didn't amputate tails off of puppies."
>Twilight scoffs.
>"Of course not. I merely duplicated them out of stew meat and fish bones."
>It's still unsettling, but you can deal with that much.
>You face your student.
"So, what about that rhyme?"
>Twilight responds, "I asked Zecora, and she confirmed it was part of an ancient zebrican ritual, meant to help a struggling tribe repopulate after a disaster."
>You raise your eyebrows at her.
"A fertility rite?"
>She blushes.
>"No! No, it's even more wonderful. It transmutes animals into forms that are compatible for breeding!"
>You glance at the bluebird trembling in its...his? cage.
>You scowl at your student.
"Twilight Sparkle, you are not going to transform a thinking, feeling animal into a pony. I thought I taught you better than this."
>Twilight stares at you with wide eyes, leaning back in alarm.
>"I- how else am I supposed to-"
>You sigh.
"I am partially at fault as well. I was not entirely honest about what has been going on. In truth, Anonymous was the one causing the irregularities with the sun and moon."
>Your student blinks.
>"He was? Of course! I should have known, stallions are naturals at silly things! My premise was correct!"
>You chuckle.
"You may want to keep that finding to yourself, unless you want a horde of angry stallions and their mares besieging the castle."
>Twilight nods absently.
>"Naturally, it wouldn't do to bias the populace before more concrete data is accumulated. Hmm, I think I shall consult Spike, he helped me have fun with magic the first time, so his point of view will be crucial to similar efforts."
>You smile fondly at your student as her mane settles down into a more grounded state.
>Disaster averted.
"Before that, perhaps you should clean up the castle. I can't imagine he would be agreeable to consultation when you have made so much work for him and the staff."
>Twilight chuckles ruefully.
>"Good point, I'll get started right away."
>>
>>37522516
>You watch her trot out into the hall.
>Some days you really worry about that mare.
>You turn and open the window and the bluebird's cage .
>It chirps in gratitude and flits away.
>You aren't sure why Twilight chose a bird to transform, maybe it's related to the metal flying fish on the table?
>You flip through the schematics and calculations, something about reentry?
>You shake your head and gather all the notes into a bundle.
>It seems the forbidden section of your library is gaining another volume.
----
https://ponepaste.org/5714
Just some silliness.
>>
>>37522522
Ahhhhhh succulent. Delicious even
>>
>>37521681
Does anyone know how hard it is to get a job like this and how hard the job is?
That sounds like a decent way to make good money.
>>
>>37522522
Genuinely though this story had a pony prince anon, was pleasantly surprised when he turned out to be a human
Wish we had more stories about humans developing magical abilities
>>
>>37522225
You know it amigo
>>
>>37522522
This would be great for a longer comedic (I guess it could also work just as well for other sorts) story if Anon had to do something to be able to mimic cutie marks. Something like slapping the ass of the pony he wants to copy.
>>37522607
Same. As much as I love the "humans are magicless beings" trope, the opposite can also be quite fun.
>>
>>37522522
Flying fish? Reentry?
This story was great, a scrumptious green indeed, but this caught me off-guard, what's this, Uh-hmmm?? Tell us your secret!
>>
>>37522607
>>37522727
>humans developing magical abilities
>tfw this is my no 1 fetish
>was forced to write stories of my own just to get my fix
>it's not the same
>didn't finish them then deleted everything after writing out probably 80k~ words of most desired fantasies
>still remember 80% of the autistic notes of personalized lore and how Equestrian magic works with humans
Autism can occasionally be quite fun.
>>
>>37522728
Not him, but she's trying to make airplanes in the night sky like shooting stars.
Also note that it's a bluebird, though truthfully it should have been a Blue Jay to he accurate.
>>
>>37522728
This (>>37522758) guy has the right of it. To be honest, I was guessing about the bird's species.
>>
>>37522751
Heres some HiE headcanon i have
>humans have actually a very high capacity for magic because our nervous systems are electricity based, while those of equestrian life forms are magic based
>magic is the key to all life in equestria, but too much of it can fry their nerves
>magical prodigy's like twilight have simply a very high resistance
>for the average pone though, there is a genetic magic cap to make sure they don't overwhelm themselves and literally burn their neurons
>humans never evolved this magic cap so we have an almost infinite potential pool of magic, but we also don't generate our own so it's empty
>a human in equestria would be like an empty vase in the middle of the ocean, magic rushing in to fill it up
>a human's magical potential would start off very low, but in time grow as he absorbs more and more magic
>our nervous system cannot get fried because magic doesn't interact with electricity in a bad way
>if you removed the human from the magic rich enviroment, such as simply sending him back to earth, the magic inside of him would simply drain out and dissipate in the nothingness, like a bottle of water being poured into a desert
>>
>>37522727
>>37522607
While i do enjoy a magic anon, giving him a cutie mark is weird since its a pony thing.
Just give him magic, he'd be relatively unique in that aspect anyway.
Think in terms of tabletop stats, Twilight gets a +10 to all magic skills, Rarity has +10 to skills that pertain to her mark and penalties to those that dont, while Anon would start at +1 but zero penalty.
>>
>>37522751
>>didn't finish them then deleted everything after writing out probably 80k~ words of most desired fantasies
why
>>
I prefer magic anons that have low magic resistance, low mana pool, but incredibly high mana regeneration. The justification being that magic resistance helps a being keep more mana inside them at the cost of not being able to absorb the ambient mana as easily. So Anon is like a newborn foal, with low resistance and the ability to spam cantrips almost endlessly.
>>
>>37522796
>>37522813
>anon would start at +1 but zero penalty
This gives me an idea

>anon comes to equestria
>quickly figures out he can do magic when he concentrates very hard on leaf
>first few days after arriving he is able to move leaves, blades of grass and the odd pebble if he tries hard enough
>after a few weeks he is able to move around rocks, mugs, plates etc with relative ease, but it's still rather taxing on his mind
>after a few months he can easily move chairs, tables, books etc, he's pretty much average unicorn level, might even learn a begginer spell or two
>after a few years he starts reaching his true potential, he can lift whole houses, foundation and all, if he tries, can teleport at will, has learned to levitate himself and can cast spells that the average unicorn would find very difficult
>after a few decades he's pretty much become the doctor strange of equestria, he can teleport across massive distances, can summon portals to other dimensions at will, can cast spells capable of obliterating entire cities etc
>but no matter how powerful he becomes, he never uses his abilities in any serious manner, except for trolling the old princesses, messing with the god-queen of ponykind twi and trying to one up discord for the title of most whimsical male to exist
>>
>>37514604
Did I missed the next chapiter or I am being too impatient again?
>>
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>>37514604
>You're putting the finishing touches on the spaghetti you're cooking for Flurry.
>When suddenly…
>DADDY! HAY-TENDIES NOOOOW!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
>Right on queue, and just in time!
>Shining Armor runs into the kitchen to fetch his daughter's favorite meal.
>"Sorry Anon, I gotta grab this fast!"
>Shining Armor seems stressed over this.
>Not for long if all goes to plan though.
"Actually, could I take them to her? I actually have a plan to put an end to this 'hay-tendies' obsession."
>The change in his body language after hearing that shows that he feels like the weight of the world just got lifted off of his shoulders.
>"Really, that's great! So what's your plan?"
>Gesturing to the bowl of spaghetti you're platting up, you begin to explain
"This right here is the plan, an old family recipe passed down straight from old granny Sconosciuta herself!"
>"Great! I really hope it works. We've tried getting her to eat other food before but it never worked unless we bribed her. Maybe this time it'll be different though!"
>He begins using telekinesis to grab a bag from the kitchen's refrigerator
>"I'll help you get the hay-tenders you need while you finish up, you gotta get it up there fast though. She only gets worse if it takes too long!"
>This, and all the other things they've said...What has Flurry put these two through all these years?
>After a little while, the tenders are ready. And you begin your trek to her room to put your plan into action.
>You'll be honest though, his mention of them trying this kind of thing before is making you wonder if this will even work.
>It SHOULD based on what you know, but then again, Flurry isn't a normal mare.
>Here we go…
>You open the door, once again getting hit by the rancid smell of her NEET den for the third time.
>Payday can't come fast enough.
>"Huh? Anon, you brought me hay-tendies?"
>Flurry looks at you quizzically
>And it's hard to see in here but, is that a slight blush you see on her face?
"Yeah, I did. I also brought you something I cooked up just for you!"
>>
>>37522758
>>37522785
>spoilers
I must be too much of an eurofag to get this. Or too tired.
Can someone be kind and explain this to me?
>>
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>>37522940
>"Yeah, I did. I also brought you something I cooked up just for you!"
>Once more you're Flurry and
>Oh, by your Aunt's book collection, he's brought you your hay-tendies?
>AND COOKED FOR YOU?
>Maybe you ARE married to him now after all!
>You know he's some kind of alien or whatever, is this their marriage ritual?
>Maybe the scritching was but…
>Maybe now this is...a mating ritual?
>Your face goes red as a beet again.
>Oh shit, it might be finally happening.
>Is he going to impregnate you? CAN he even impregnate you? If he can, what would you even name them? How will you even explain this to your parents?
>"Flurry"?
>Hey mom and dad, the alien you hired to be my guardian did a marriage ritual with me in secret and now you two are going to be grandparents!
>Your dad would be hysterical for sure!
>"Hey Flurry!"
>And then there's the thought of what your progeny will even LOOK like. Will they be a pony? Like him? Some kind of weird hybrid like the Sludgenoid's Genethieves?
>Your thoughts of abomination hybrids are interrupted by a hand waving Infront of your face.
>"-llo? Equestria to Flurry! Your food is getting cold!"
>You shake free of your thoughts and magic a hay-tendie into the ramekin of honey-mustard and into your mouth.
>Mmmm, so good!
>Now, let's see what he cooked special for you.
"S-spagoots!"
>The castle chef's food is usually boring. Nothing like your favorite meal.
>But your probably-husband made this, so maybe you'll give it a shot…
>>
>>37522922
>>37522940
lol
>>
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>>37522944
>You're Anon again
>It's working
>Flurry is going for the spaghetti.
>Spagoots, as she called it.
>Which you have to admit is cute, if not childish.
>You see her hesitantly floating it to her mouth.
>She places the fork in her mouth and begins chewing…
>After what feels like an eternity, her eyes go wide.
>Now, what happened next was something you weren't prepared to see.
>You had a good feeling she'd like it but…
>What you didn't think would happen is her burying her muzzle in the bowl and furiously lapping up your meal like a pig.
>Or like Pinkie. You've seen her swallow a whole cake before without choking and Twiggles wouldn't even tell you how it was possible.
>After she's done, Flurry looks like pic related
(There's not that much art of nerd Flurry, so just pretend that's her)
>You decide to break the silence
"So uh...good?"
>>
>>37522949
haha

time for bath time scene
>>
>>37522943
https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/mordetwi
>>
>>37522960
oh no
>>
>>37522949
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hP05BgYyz_g
>>
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>>37522940
>>Right on queue, and just in time!
That's cue, my man. Queue is the one you have to wait in. And 'que' is the Spanish word for 'what', before anyone asks.
>>37522949
Anyway, this is great, too bad it's infrequent. Can't wait to see Anon forcing a bath on Flurry, turning her like 3 shades of pink brighter, kinda like pic related.
>>
>>37522796
>>37522885
See, I wish there was more shit like this. It's so obvious and simple.
>>37522843
>why
The stories were personal and only meant for me, then I had written up all of the stuff I wanted out of it and could easily imagine the rest. I only writefag for others with one-offs, fuck major commitment to something like a 4chan green, I don't want to be one of those fags that loses the plot or interest in writing halfway through.
>>
>>37522960
Ah, fuck, not this again, bloody hell!
>>
Gah, I must be slightly dyslexic. Good catch. Glad you're enjoying it as well. It's a fun ride writing this out.
>>
>>37523004
>>37522982
And I don't even add the response, fucking hell
>>
>>37523011
>>37523004
It's an even funner ride to read it, especially since you actually included that comment of mine about Anon forgetting to wash his hands and getting chemical burns!
It's like I'm contributing!
Wait. Am I actually contributing?
>>
>>37522498
>solar flare
>Anon starts dicking around with the sun just because he can
>accidentally blasts a solar flare straight into Equestria, stripping the atmosphere from the planet and scorching all life to ash
Remember kids, only you can prevent extinction events.
>>
>>37522885
Discord would either absolute loathe or absolutely love him, no in between. My bet is on the former.
I can only imagine some "Devil Went Down to Georgia" shit going on with Discord trying to do something to Anon only for him to turn it around on Discord via something with the internet.
>>37522990
My headcanon regarding human magic is that humans have enormous magical energy capacity and are basically like plutonium or antimatter that can very easily just straight up be a bomb (though minus the "explodes if it gets too bunched up/touches literally anything" respectively). And humans can't directly channel the magic themselves as they didn't evolve to have any means of interfacing with magic. Because of this a human can be extremely dangerous even if they happen to also be a victim in the scenario just due to their nature. Despite being unable to interface with magic directly, humans can still use artifacts that channel the magic of their user. Naturally, they can also do so to extraordinary effect.
>>
>>37523039
Like Celestia would allow that, sure.
You should know better than this, Anon. She, of all ponies, WILL keep a close eye on what such a whimsical not-stallion does. Always.
>>
>>37522982
that's way too lewd!
just spray her with the garden hose
>>
>>37521936
That why you always write those ideas down man, learnt that in mad men
>>
>>37523068
And ruin all the rapport built up until that point?
Nah man, it's either going full lewd or not going at all. And we have Princess Neetheart to save from herself!
>>
>>37522785
you sneaky motherfucker
>>
>>37522796
>>as he absorbs more and more magic
Anon would achieve background level saturation of magic pretty quickly, he would not keep absorbing magic.
I have an alternative theory
> magic fields induce weak electrical impulses in the human nervous system
> over time anon begins to consciously perceive these impulses as a new sense, he gains the ability to detect magic
> as his ability grows, it is discovered that he can replicate a field he had previously detected by focusing on the memory of that field. (He cannot cast spells yet, since he can only replicate the wake of a spell, not the spell itself)
> Eventually though he makes the big breakthrough, with help from a unicorn casting TK right against his skull and even sometimes very carefully on his brain itself, he finally gains sufficient understanding to cast his own TK
> After coming dangerously close to lobotomizing himself, he finally manages to project TK outwards, and after long and grueling amount of practice his ability begins to accelerate.
> Anon cannot learn spells from books and none of the pony techniques or magic theory is helpful for him. The ponies understanding of magic is filtered through the lens of their innate magical ability. Anon is using magic raw.
> But now that he has learned his first spell, he found it much easier to learn additional spells, of course still requiring a unicorn to cast on his skull, but now only taking a fraction of the time of the first.
> Anon's mana capacity whilst not record breaking is fare, and he suffers no damage from using up his entire reserves. His body does not require magic to live, this means he can drawn on every scrap of mana absorbed into his flesh, for a pony even consuming a fraction of this mana would hurt them. A pony has a special organ to store mana, once this mana is depleted, continued casting pulls mana from their flesh, eventually resulting in death.
> Anon can easily restore his mana just by drinking water, with a constant supply of water he can cast indefinably. A pony would require expensive mana potions. This is because a ponies mana density is higher than background level, so water does not restore them, but when a human casts they drop below background level so water will work.
> Anon's power is limited only by is mana density, fully charged he is powerful, but not record breaking, many unicorns exceed his power. But when charged with high grade mana potions, he could rival Celestia.
> Despite Anon's great power and control over magic he had limits, there were many spells he could never cast. Transformation magic for example was beyond his grasp, it was far too complex without innate ability.
>>
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>>37523175
>But when charged with high grade mana potions, he could rival Celestia.
this is why i'm not a fan of anon getting magic. i know you're trying to hold back the powerwanking, but but it seems that every time anon gets magic it turns into 'he's the new merlin within a decade of practice or with these metaphorical power-limiting lodestones tied around his neck that disappear when it's plot relevant.' i have never once seen magic anon written well or not devolve into powerwanking.
in any case how is any of this RGRE?
>>
>>37523175
>Anon would achieve background level saturation of magic pretty quickly, he would not keep absorbing magic.
Is this under the assumption that magic can't have areas of greater density? I was under the impression that magic in that anon's scenario worked akin to gravity where certain objects create bigger wells or pools depending on their size and density, with Anon being like a black hole save for the nothing escaping part.
>>
>>37523219
>but it seems that every time anon gets magic it turns into 'he's the new merlin within a decade of practice or with these metaphorical power-limiting lodestones tied around his neck that disappear when it's plot relevant.' i have never once seen magic anon written well or not devolve into powerwanking.

It's because the very idea of Anon having magic seems to make people irrational. Twilight spent a very long time practicing and studying magic, which is why she's so good. Trixie is constantly working on her illusion and general magic as well. Starlight Glimmer obviously is a talented and very well practiced unicorn as well.

No one seems to want to write slow paced stuff with it comes to anon. That's the downfall here.
>>
>>37523246
Not him but could you elaborate a bit more on this? I get what you're saying but it would be interesting to get a more in-depth explanation.
>>
>>37523246
And sunset was basically proto twi so yeah
>>
>>37523246
>No one seems to want to write slow paced stuff with it comes to anon
i've been trying to figure out the best way to do that myself with a plotline spanning months on a repair job. i'm not sure whether a timeskip is the best option or to write a filler chapter or two having anon and his companion adapt and learn about rgre while luna turns into a twilight-tier sperg trying to learn about anon and his people
>>
>>37523254
"slice of life"
forgot to include those key words with that post regarding the filler chapters
>>
>>37523246
It's because "Anon" is a non-character.
>>
>>37523246
Thats cause anon is a shitty self insert for writefags. Plus everyone hates oc's. Also second person is nice.
>>
>>37523175
>>37523219
And this is why I like Magician Anon type stories. He *has* no magic but he's somewhat decent with sleight of hand and has Twilight sperging that he MIGHT have magic.

Funny shit, might do better in Kinderquestria (they actually had a dude write out something a few threads ago) but RGRE Magician Anon happened first.
>>
>>37523219
The power scaling is not point of my post, you could make Anon as powerful or as weak as you like within my framework. He was only made so strong because it was that way in the post I replied to.
>>37523227
There is no such thing as Anon or objects in general, in reality they are just collections of atoms. Just like the air he breaths, the water he drinks, and the food he eats. Without some kind of special contrivance there is no reason for anon to act differently from any other object made of atoms. Especially since he is continuously consuming external material from the environment and incorporating it into himself. He should very quickly achieve magic saturation equal to the surrounding environment.
>>
Anon the near-omniscient wizard is only good when phenomenal cosmic power doesn't actually solve his problems.

I am sick and tired of prompts where Anon is skilled but underestimated, only to gain recognition when the monster of the week or villain of the season shows up.

Sorcerer Supreme Taco Anon should be cursing all the chicas who touch his butt, only for them to take it as a badge of honor and proof of actually touching a stallion. He should be calling the spirit of his witch grandmother to seek out her arcane secrets, only to be slapped with a slipper and asked about if he has found a nice girl to settle down with.
>>
>>37523388
>He should be calling the spirit of his witch grandmother to seek out her arcane secrets, only to be slapped with a slipper and asked about if he has found a nice girl to settle down with.

fucking lmao.
>>
>>37522949
Bahahaha. More!
>>
>>37522522
I enjoyed the silliness a lot. Would gladly read moar.
>>
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>>37523353
You're arbitrarily applying logic to magic.
>There is no such thing as Anon or objects
To magic there very well may be. In fact there most certainly is because unicorns, pegasi, and Earth ponies interact with magic in very different ways.
>>37523388
>cursing all the chicas who touch his butt, only for them to take it as a badge of honor and proof of actually touching a stallion
>Anon goes to Equestria
>finds out about magic
>becomes enthralled with it
>has absolutely zero attraction to ponies
>even finds their attitudes and very culture to be saccharine
>pours more and more time into studying magic
>this only makes ponies think he's playing hard to get
>eventually finds out that some funky shenanigans mean him being human could potentially give him super crazy magic
>unfortunately he has no clue how to do it and even less clue how to handle it
>regardless, he presses on, undeterred
>and so do all those damn mares
>he's gotten into several magical and non-magical fights with various mares trying to disturb him for reasons unknown (unknown to a wizard in every sense of the word, at least)
>eventually finds an ultimate deterrent to these pesky mares
>a magical sort of branding
>more like a permanent magical hickey that everyone else can just sort of sense
>somehow the mares only get more persistent in their pestering of him after he starts labelling them
>eventually it becomes almost like a rite of passage for any mare remotely interested in magic and/or xenophilia
>practically like a second cutie mark to some (or even first to a few very daring fillies)
Sorry, this is the grumpiest Anon I had.
>>
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>>37523436
>>has absolutely zero attraction to ponies
>>even finds their attitudes and very culture to be saccharine
Has he heard of... dragons, perhaps?
>>
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>>37523449
Yes, actually. Many human legends of men slaying dragons for various different reasons. He doesn't fuck with dragons though because Twilight thinks it would make Spike sad which would make her sad and Anon doesn't want her getting any demigods on his ass about something which in all honestly would probably amount to nothing more than larping as a fantasy novel hero.
>>
>>37523388
>>37523436
I like the virginity is the source of his wizard powers angle, and he's a virtually unstoppable dark sorcerer that never actually gets around to doing anything of consequence while constantly fearing the touch of harlot horses and heroic mares trying to "save" equestria from his "reign of terror"
>>
>>37523471
That's not what I was going for, but that could also be interesting.
>>
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>>37522203
>>
>>37523449
god I fucking LOVE dragons, nigga
>>
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>>37523470
Yes, of course. Lots of dragon sLAYING.
>>
>>37523246
the thing is it would be a decade of constant practice, if you got magic would you only use it occasionally or would you use it any chance you had? any human could become a master at something if they spend a decade of constant practice on something, especially if it was something they enjoyed or wanted.
>>
>>37518876
He's off the ride. Sorry friendo.
>>
>>37523727
>He
>>
>>37523795
There are no girls on the internet
>>
>>37523795
has no style
>>
>>37524003
He has no grace
>>
>>37524263
this anon is a waste of space
>>
>>37524263
This Kong has a funny face!
>>
>>37523388
To creates new problems like people trying to steal your magic and knowledge
>>
>>37524003
>>37524263
...takes a cumshot to the face?
>>
>>37524619
His Peee-nus fires in spurts
If he shoots ya, ITS GONNA HURT
>>
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>>37523219
What it, anon is a merlinesque wizard, but he simply doesn't give a shit about equestria so instead of protecting it or conquering it, he just does his own thing, learns all the magic spells he can just because and whenever some pony asks him to lend a hand against whatever big bad showed up that week, he just makes up some bullshit on the spot about it "not being his destiny" or about "the balance of the universe" or some shit and the ponies buy it everytime
The only ones who figured out his lies are celestia and discord since they're the only ones who can rival his bullshitting powers
Anon is like saitama, but not heroic, in that he could easily stop evil and cure all diseases and whatever but sees no point in it, so he just chills back and observes

This might be a bit self inserting on my part, but if i went to equestria i wouldn't want the story to revolve around me like some many HiE fics, i want to be part of it in some way but not in any decisive manner
I just want to watch the pones do their thing and pet them from time to time, maybe give some advice and let them handle themselves like they have done until now, no point fixing something that isn't broken
Also, i'd really like to mess with discord in some lulzy way, that cunt has it coming big time, but for that i'd obviously need some power
>>
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Alright, losers. Tell me what your day would be like as a househusband. How would you settle arguments between your hot-headed mares? What would you do if you found out that they fucked up but, instead of trying to solve it, they tried to hide it like it's Everyone Fucking Loves Raymond and they're playing the role of the comically inept husband? IF YOU CAN ONLY GET GOOD RECIPES FROM GOSSIPING WITH YOUR HOUSEHUSBAND NEIGHBORS THEN WHERE DID THEY ORIGINALLY COME FROM
>>
>>37524819
You basically described Tom Bombadil from The Lord of The Rings.
He... just does the things you listed. It's literally him.
...Are you Tom Bombadil?
>>
>>37524856
isnt tom implyed to be literally god, tho?
>>
>>37524951
Stop reading memes and start reading books
>>
>>37524833
The first order of business would of course be sucking and fucking
>>
>>37524951
No he’s more implied the be the spirit of middle earth itself rather than it’s creator though Tolkien said he was just one of the mysteries of the lord of the rings would say I would love a Tom bombadil anon in rgrequestria
>>
>>37524819
> he could easily stop evil and cure all diseases and whatever but sees no point in it.
Could always have the view point of 'Fixing those problems would only make different problems that cant be solved by casting 'FuckEverythingInThisGeneralDirection' at it.
The least of which would be them putting less effort into helping themselves out of problems.
Dont entirely agree with that but its a valid viewpoint.
>>
>>37524833
>IF YOU CAN ONLY GET GOOD RECIPES FROM GOSSIPING WITH YOUR HOUSEHUSBAND NEIGHBORS THEN WHERE DID THEY ORIGINALLY COME FROM
From their Fathers of course, did you hurt your head again Anon?
>>
>>37521237
>"I thought Eris was a mare."
>"It's whatever it wants to be."
>>
>>37525078
>It's
>it
triggered
>>
>>37525064
>The least of which would be them putting less effort into helping themselves out of problems.
pretty much
first you help one or two ponies, then you help a whole village and soon enough the entire nation is coming to you to fix their stubbed hoof or their acne or whatever
anon might want to help ponies, but he doesnt want to end up as celestia with all of them dependent on him for survival
>>
>>37524833
>IF YOU CAN ONLY GET GOOD RECIPES FROM GOSSIPING WITH YOUR HOUSEHUSBAND NEIGHBORS THEN WHERE DID THEY ORIGINALLY COME FROM
experimentation. don't tell me you're a spineless faggot afraid of failure
>>
>>37525093
I'm a WINNER, Anon. I only use recipes that WORK.
>>
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>>37523219
>this is why i'm not a fan of anon getting magic
>trying to hold back the powerwanking
Same.
I want an Anon that due to not having the proper biology to cast "real" spells can only do very subtle stuff, always indistinguishable from something that would happen naturally on a good day.
>Can't light a fire, but can make it take on the first spark / strong friction
>Can't laserbeam a baddie, but can make his punches hit as hard as if he had never skipped arm day
>Can't paralyze a pony, but can make everything they do be weirdly tiring
Anon spend ages designing extremely complex & efficient spells to compensate for his lack of raw power, only for them to completely fly under unicorns' radars (even when Twilight actively try to measure them) due to how barely-above-background-magic faint they are - and for her to rapidly zone out when he try to justify how the spell work, since he rely on stacking very tiny magical effects that horsemages are barely able to perceive over their own magical field.

... which result in every mares in town just rolling their eyes when something good happen and Anon claim it's the result of his magic.
>>
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>>37525260
>>trying to hold back the powerwanking
>Same.
>Anon spend ages designing extremely complex & efficient spells to compensate for his lack of raw power
>>
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>>37522949
>Flurry nods and licks her lips to consume the remaining sauce around them.
>She has spaghetti all over her face and on her glasses.
>She even managed to get some in her mane!
>Infact…
"You know Flurry, you got a lot of my spaghetti all over you. Maybe you should take a bath to get it all off!"
>She shakes her head in response
>"Nah, no need. Watch this!"
>You watch as the sauce and noodles float off of her, into the air and into her mouth.
>Well, it was worth a shot at least.
>Flurry turns back to her addiction while consuming the other that you brought alongside your cooking.
"Say Flurry, I'm curious. Why exactly do you like hay-tenders so much anyway?"
>In a flash she turns around and looks nearly insulted.
>"Are you kidding? They're like, the best food ever! I've been enjoying them ever since I was a foal. Are you seriously telling me you've never tried them Anon?"
>She doesn't know you can't eat hay?
>Oh right, her mother and aunt knows but she doesn't.
"I haven't. Actually, my kind can't even eat hay."
>She's gone from being near insulted to looking kind of sad.
>"Oh...really? That sucks! Why is that anyway?"
>Time for an impromptu biology lesson.
>>
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>>37525325
"Well, my species, humans, all lack the digestive system needed to actually break down the cellulose that hay and grass has."
>She blinks a few times
>"Cellu-what now? You're sounding like my Aunt!"
>But seriously though, I'm sorry you can't enjoy these. It must be hard, I know it would be for me if I could never have them again."
>She pauses for a bit, like she's considering something.
>"You know, my parents have been on my case about my hay-tendies for a while. I don't even know what the big deal is! I mean, my mom eats 'peetzer' practically every other day, how's that any different?"
>First spagoots, now peetzer.
"Peetzer? What?"
>She laughs a bit at your confusion.
>"Yeah, it's what my mom calls pizza! Tartarus, their first date was at a pizza parlor my mom worked part-time at when she wasn't in school or babysitting Aunt Twilight!"
>That's actually kind of funny. Looks like the rumors of Cadence being a pizza-fiend were actually true.
>Though, you'll need to talk with her about this. It's going to be harder to break this addiction if she feels vindicated.
>You just hope you won't have to break ANOTHER food addiction.
>"Actually...you're in good with my parent's right? Can you get them off my flank for me?"
>If looks could kill, you'd be dying of a heart attack from the puppy dog eyes she's giving you right now.
"I'll...see if I can't work something out. I'll be back, I so have the mess in the kifchen to clean up."
>She turns back to her Vidya
"Alright, have fun babe!"
>Whoa, did she just call you…
"Wait, what was that?"
>The reply she gives sounds slightly nervous.
>N-nothing! You must've heard something from the game! H-have fun in the kitchen!"
>Weird.
>>
>>37525329
You screwed up, Anon! You are horse-married to her now! Also:
>Anon is not picking up on shit like this, playing the neutron-star dense chinese cartoon protag bullshit, for comedic effect
No. Just no.
>>
>>37525329
>The reason she feels its ok to only eat hay-tenders so much is cause her mother is all about that pizza life
That makes a surprising amount of sense, never thought of that rational behind the tender-issue. Nice work
>>
>>37525340
Anon's not necessarily playing the dense protagonist, it might be "I am not dealing with more shit from her right now." We'll see what happens if she says more stuff like that and he stops being willing or able to ignore it.
>>
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>anon lands in equestria
>ponies treat him how you'd expect them to, some being afraid, some welcoming him and some being hostile
>celestia and luna, on the other hand, treat him like a VIP
>at first anon thinks it's because of being a male and the princesses being all a mare should strive to be, aka supreme gentlemares
>but then he observes that they only treat him this way
>upon confronting them, the royal sisters tell anon the truth
>turns out, he wasn't the first human to ever arrive in equestria
>pic related was
>>
>>37526094
Yikes and into the trash it goes.
>>
>>37525260
>when something good happen and Anon claim it's the result of his magic.
>Anon setting up magical rube goldberg machines all over town.
Reminds me of that one prompt where Anon's "Call to the void (Kill yourself lmao)" got replaced by a "Call to harmony(Make some friends)" and he gets random impulses which turn out to be very helpful, like getting the urge to bake cookies and finding out afterwards he can contribute to a bake sale.
>>
>>37525997
You might be right, but I still want to tear this out before it roots in.
I'm sick and tired of the dense protagonist trope, it's ridden into the ground and there is nothing enjoyable in it for me.
Let's hope you are correct on this one.
>>
Hey LaP? Any idea on when we'll see more of the 40k thing? You've been pretty consistent about dropping an update every 2 weeks or so.
>>
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>>37526166
The Call to the void is some wacky shit
>Twilight makes a mind reading device
>Notice Anon keeps getting thoughts about various ways to kill himself while he us just going about his day
>Twilight eventually stops him Mr. President style as he picks up a knife in the kitchen
>He just wanted to cut the crust off his sandwich
>>
>>37522945
Kek, I left jist after posting and only read now. I should have waited more indeed.

>>37525329
Yummy, yummy green!
Being able to see the point of view of flurry is really nice too.

But, hum, missed opportunity here for anon, she will never take a bath in this condition.
Unless...
Unless her mane gets really dirty maybe?
Or "no more scratchies until you smell good"?
Or maybe start by cleaning the room?
I hope the bit of trust anon builds up until now won't fall flat when Flurry discovers that he indeed is here to be on her flank and make her a better mare.
>>
>>37526094
What is this from
>>
>>37526398
Equestria prevails
Pretty cool worldbuilding, if a bit on the furry side
>>
>>37526328
My retarded lore is that ponies dont have the call of the void, until they start using dark magic. That's why they go off the deep end.
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>>37526328
>twilight discretely uses the machine on anon
>"if you're reading my mind go kill yourself"
>twilight has no idea this is something anon randomly thinks from time to time when he's bored
>>
>>37526519
>>
>>37526447
>Having a voice in your head screaming to do god awful things can do horrible things to a being that normally has harmonic things on the brain.
>Which makes Twilight really god damn nervous when she realizes what goes down in Anon's mind.
>Now, if only she can admit she knows about those thoughts...because reading other people's minds without permission is KINDA not super, duper cool with Celestia. Not since the last time she did it...
>>
>>37526094
I have no idea who this.lex
>>
>>37525329
I told you niggas, homes needs to just grab the hose
Peace was never an option
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>>37526447
i think you might be onto something
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>>37526328
I love this idea.
>Twilight finally confronts him about it
>admits that she's been reading his mind
>Anon is terrified that she's going to confront him about something serious
>doesn't even consider that she might be worried about the intrusive thoughts
>he just assumes that's something that all intelligent beings have to deal with
>laughs when she breaks it to him
>but also still becomes worried and confused
Twilight would probably think of it like some sort of species-wide crippling disability.
>>37526447
Makes sense. Like how even poblanos would be really spicy to a person who's never had anything spicy before.
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>>37527031
and then the plot is either resolved after they sit down and have a serious conversation or they both continue to hold the idiot ball in a miscommunication plot
NEXT
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>>37526798
its supposed to be Megan Williams.
>>
>>37526442
>Equestria prevails
Sell me on it. I like the G1 Megan tie-in with FiM.
>>
>>37510282
Is this story/series actually still being written? It seems like it's just dead. Is it continued somewhere else?
I know I'm getting my hopes up, but damn if I won't at least ask.
>>
>>37527440
Thing with Hawkeye is that it's not unusual for a 6-9 month+ wait for another update. I'm just waiting for the next segment. I think Hawkeye hangs out more in the AiE thread than here, so maybe try reaching out there for a better status update.
>>
>>37527465
Ah, thanks.
>it's not unusual for a 6-9 month+ wait for another update
Curse my impatience.
>>
>>37527473
I'm gonna say I've got a hell of a lot of patience since I've been reading that story since 2015. Give him time and I'm sure he'll finish it. Plus, looking at his most recent stuff (last posted stuff on ponepaste), it was July he did something. So, I'm not gonna stress.
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>>37527479
>I've been reading that story since 2015
>Give him time and I'm sure he'll finish it
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>>37527508
To be fair, he has been updating every several months at an average rate of 1-2k words per month fairly consistently. At this rate it'll only be in the late 2020s when the story gets finished.
>>
>>37527517
>At this rate it'll only be in the late 2020s when the story gets finished.
https://robertsspaceindustries.com/star-citizen/
>>
>>37527527
>tfw Star Citizen is probably going to be finished before several stories are never completed
Feels bad, man.
>>
>>37523219
I that's why I like the idea of Anon basically doing a Thaumcraft playthrough in Equestria. (Or Astral Sorcery if you want Luna to be a larger part of the story)
Meaning he can't do magic on his own but makes tools and artifacts to make use of magic anyways (like we did with electricity).
This could be used to make anon a powerful magic user, but with the nerf that he's completely dependent on his tools, so taking those away can quickly weaken his abilities in a conflict.
>>
>>37528010
Thaumaturgy With Anon
>>
>>37528090
Sounds like a cooking show.

>"Do you ever get tired of just... cast, etched, or summoned magic? Well if you do, tune in on us. We're doing four wonderful methods on wielding the churning forces of what lies in the space between space today... on Thaumaturgy With Anon."

>Anon is the Julia Child of magic
>Never going to do anything spectacular or enormously powerful, but shows you how to use everyday tools and spells creatively to create beautiful results
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>>37528486
It was a rather long green that fell afoul of the propeller a couple years ago. Had some really cool stuff, also had a lot of idiot ball moments with some of the characters. Overall it was well-written.
>>
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>>37527882
>>tfw Star Citizen is probably going to be finished
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>>37528010
>referring to stories by what Minecraft mod they're most reminiscent of
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>>37529291
It was a direct inspiration tho
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>>37529291
Faggots in these threads don't read, so it's not like they can reference anything other than the most vapid parts of pop culture. Not sure what you're surprised by.
>>
>>37529291
>>37529480
But it is literally the minecraft mod, even uses terminology found in said mod as well as (In like a few sentences and never again) references other minecraft mods as well. Probably because they are often included in the same modpack.
>>
>>37529291
That's typically what happens when read a story that's literally inspired by a minecraft mod.
>>
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>>37525329
>You head out of Flurry's room to go down stairs.
>You have a pot and various other kitchenware to clean after a successful first attempt at getting her to eat something else.
>"Anon! Did it work?!"
>Suddenly a pink blur jumps out of nowhere and jump-scares you.
"Gah! Damn it! Don't do that!"
>A wild Cadence has appeared.
>"Oops, sorry! I didn't mean to scare you! But, did it work? Did she eat it?"
>She looks almost desperate to know what happened.
"Yeah, she ate it alright. She put Pinkie Pie to shame with the way she wolfed it down."
>The tension immediately eases upon hearing the good news
>"Whew! That's actually impressive! Shiny and I could never get Flurry to eat anything else unless we offered Good Filly Points to her. And even then it was a tough sell!"
>Since the topic is on food, you figure you might as well strike while the iron is hot.
"By the way Princess, while I have you here, I wanted to ask you about something."
>The tension returns as she braces for whatever you have to say.
>"Go on…"
"So, Flurry told me something interesting. She told me that she doesn't see her addiction to hay-tendi-...DERS as a problem."
"Because you, and I quote: "eat peetzer practically every other day."
>Cadence looks shocked at the accusation levied at her.
>"I do not! I mean, sure I enjoy a succulent peetzer like, two or three times a week but-"
>You can't believe this. You really ARE dealing with another food addiction!
"Three times a week IS 'practically every other day' princess."
>Her shock worsens as you call her out on her obvious hypocrisy.
>"I mean! You can't just! I'm not a...OH, who asked you Anon? I can quit peetzer anytime I want!"
>And there it is, the classic excuse of any addiction ever.
>She even crossed her forelegs at the end of her momentary outburst.
"Then quit now! If not for your sake, for the sake of your own kid!"
>She sweats as the gears begin turning in her head.
>"Er, I'll...think about it. Oh! I was also coming to tell you that it's time for dinner!"
>Well, you ARE kinda hungry. You only made enough food for Flurry today after all.
"Great, what are we having?"
>Embarrassment washes over the pink pony princess as she realizes the answer to your question.
>"Uhhh...ha...haha..."
>You should've seen this coming.
"Pizza?"
>The princess suddenly takes a keen interest in the floor.
>"...yeah..."
>>
https://ponepaste.org/1853
>As the two of you pass by Sleek she gives you a quick once over before grumbling and going back to her paperwork.
>"I got news from the Chief that you two are taking my patrol today." she says a hint of venom in her voice.
>As Rough Cuff begins to speak you quickly cut her off.
"Word travels fast huh? The Chief must think I'm more then just a desk jockey after all." You say a sly grin on your face but a grim lines her face.
>"If you don't mind I need to talk to Anonymous for a moment Cuff."
>Rough Cuff looks confused for a moment but gives a confused smile before heading outside.
>"Try not to haze him too much alright Sleek?" she says with a joking laugh before she breaches the doors causing the mare to laugh as well.
>"Look just don't try to be a hero out there, we've got enough paperwork to deal with as is and we don't need another Glass Lane situation." She whispers to you, the thick scent of coffee coming from the mare as she leans in.
>For a moment you stood there confused but she shook her head and sighed.
>"It's a story for another time Newbie. Look. I know I was rough on you when we first met but I just don't want to see a colt get hurt out there alright? It's best if you just keep your head out of the fire and let Cuff do the heavy lifting." She says giving you a quick nod before motioning you to the door.
"I... I suppose I'll keep that in mind. Thanks Sleek."
>A slight smile appears on her lips and she quickly attempts to hide it by concentrating on her paperwork.
>Glass Lane...
>You'll have to ask Cuff about that sometime.
>You swing open the doors to the ponice station and see Rough Cuff talking to an elderly mare.
>"-And that's why you need to arrest those damn fillies! They keep breaking my precious garden gnomes with their hoofballs. No manners foals these days I tell you!" she rants to a clearly tired Cuff.
>"I've told you already Ma'am we can't just arrest fillies for accidents like that, perhaps you could talk to their parents instead?"
"Are you ready to get going Partner?" You say while reaching Cuff's side and she looks at you with a relieved smile.
>"Ah, I'm sorry miss we really must get going, crime never waits and all that." Cuff says while grabbing your sleeve with her mouth and dragging you away from the old mare.
>The old mare just muttered something about a lack of manners with the youth and walked in the opposite direction.
"She a regular?" you say with a cheeky smirk on your lips.
>"You have no idea. Seriously she comes by everyday with a brand new problem, the neighbours cat crapped on her lawn, the neighbours are having a party too loud." She finishes with a sigh but quickly a tired smile reaches her lips.
>"I really could use some coffee."
"You definitely look like you could. Say are there any good coffee shops around Sunny Glades?"
>She puts a hoof to her chin as though she were thinking and after a moment she nods.
>>
>>37529983
kek. makes me wonder if shining is going to have an 'only sane man' moment or have his own failings laid out for him to work on
>>
>>37530020
>"There are actually a few good places there. It'll just be a problem of picking which one to go to!" She says with a carefree laugh, her brown eyes glowing causing you to smile.
>As the two of you continue to walk down the street occasionally taking corners before reaching Sunny Glades.
>You were almost shocked by how decedent and impressive this place was.
>The stores lining the streets were displaying precious jewels and fancy wears, with price tags that would eat up your annual wage in no time.
>Even the ponies who walked the streets were of a higher class, wearing fancy attire and trotting about as though they were the most important pony in Equestria.
>The two of you continued along your way and you decided to broach the topic of Glass Lane.
>"So that's how Officer Hot Hoof ended up putting cider in the Chief's coffee." She says as the two of you share a laugh.
"So. Uh." You say struggling on how to bring the story up naturally as possible.
>"So. Uh. What?" Cuff says with a light-hearted chuckle causing your cheeks to turn a slight crimson.
"Right, I suppose theirs no subtle way to broach it huh? When I was talking with Sleek she brought up something called Glass Lane." As soon as you said it Cuff's entire demeanour changed, almost as though you had flicked a switch.
>"G-Glass L-Lane huh?" She said despite the fearful look in her brown eyes and giving a nervous chuckle that betrayed her words.
>"C-Can't say I know anything about it."
>You stopped and Cuff stopped beside you a clear fear rising in her eyes as she looked at you.
"I guess it can't be helped if you don't know anything about it." You say trying to rid the air of such an ominous mood.
>"Haha... Say that's the coffee shop over there!" She says as she extends a hoof towards a rather fancy looking coffee shop down the road.
>She quickly rushed over towards the store and the door jingled as she passed through the now open door.
>Glass Lane must have been one hell of a story then.
>Filing it away in your mind you attempt to close the distance between you and Cuff.
>As you pass open the door and pass through you hear a similar jingle and you can see Cuff speaking to one of the employees behind the counter.
>"I'll take one long black and a-" She cuts off her words as she looks over to you for your answer.
"I'll have the same, thanks Cuff."
>As Cuff pays for the coffee you find yourself a table.
>"Oh and who's the newbie with you? I haven't seen him around before." You hear the mare behind the counter say as you pretend not to hear.
>"That's my Partner Anonymous, he's on his first patrol with the ponice. He's gotta have a strong mare like me show him the ropes and all." She says and you can see her puffing out her chest in pride from the corner of your eye.
>A smile came to your face and you shook your head.
>Cuff was such a sweet heart, after all she didn't need to get you this job and hell she could have just left you to the wolves once she did.
>>
>>37530022
I'm guessing he has an issue with his own games or is WAY too enabling when by himself.
>>
>>37530024
>You really did have to pay her back someday.
>A devious plan comes to mind and you have to stop it from forming into a smile as you formulate it.
>You knew exactly how shy and self conscious the poor mare was when it came to anything even conceivably lewd.
>As the mare came back to your table with a tray with two coffees on top you waited for her to set them down and you quickly struck.
>You got up from the comfortable cushion and took a seat right next to Cuff, leaning close into her rubbing your skin against her soft fur.
>"A-Anon!" She stuttered quickly as she realised how close the two of you were.
"What's up Cuff?" You ask leaning into Cuff's coat feeling the warmth of it even through the ponice outfit.
>"N-N-Not while we're at work!" She says stuttering her words a thick blush showing even through her coat.
"I'm not quite sure I follow Cuff." You say pretending to be unaware of the mare's awkwardness as you wrap the mare in your arms.
>She lets out a small whimper and you let go of her as quickly as you had started hugging her.
>You took a small sip of your coffee and the wonderful rich blend melted on your tongue filled with a rich bitterness.
"Damn this coffee really is beautiful, huh Cuff?" you say nonchalantly pretending to be oblivious.
>"Y-Yeah." Her muffled words come from behind her hooves which hid her face as she attempted to hide the thick blush on her face.
>You decided to tease this cute mare a little more.
"I didn't think the Scary Officer Cuff would be so afraid of some physical affection from her special some pony..." You say a cheeky grin on your lips as you trail off.
>She quickly shakes her head and removes her hooves from her face.
>"H-Hey! I'm a strong mare and I'm not afraid! I'll show you!" She says before quickly closing the small distance and locking her lips with yours.
>Her warm tender lips felt as though they would melt, their tender sweetness seemingly filling your mouth and removing all memory of bitterness.
>After what had felt like a lifetime the kiss was broken, a tender longing was within you as it did.
>"W-Who's scared now?" She says her blush not failing but a smile broached her tender lips.
"Hah. You've got me there I suppose." You say rubbing the back of your head while you could feel your own cheeks turn crimson.
>You could get used to this type of back and forth with such a devilishly beautiful mare.
>Cuff takes a sip from her coffee and turns to you with an almost love drunk smile on her face.
>"I-I think it's time we get back to patrolling... What do you think Partner?"
>You nod, your heart still resounding with pleasure from that amazing kiss and you get to your wobbly feet with Cuff soon following suit.
https://ponepaste.org/1853
>>
>>37530032
Done, sorry for my absence.
>>
>"Hey, Anon. Did you know that horses don't have a gag reflex?"
>"I know I'm not a horse anymore, but why don't we go ahead and see if that's still thing in this body, huh?"
>"You can put it on your PonelyFans."
>"Show those cucks that pay for your dinner who's actually take that dick to fucktown every night."
>>
>>37530092
>I'd whore myself out online
>I'd be on any social media platform
I think I'd rather be SIREN'd rather than be with that cuckset.
>>
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>>37530105
based
>>
>>37530092
God deam sunset, why you have to be a fucking cuck?!
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>>37530105
>>37530141
>Wanting to be tossed around like a piece of meat by sirens until they get tired of you.
>Not wanting loving cuddles with a shrimpony who can punch a hole in anything that threatened you.
>>
>>37529983
Well would you look at that, the apple didn't fall far from its tree.
I wonder if Anon could fight not one, but two food addiction ridden mares in the same time. And then of course, there is Shining with his other sort of addictions...
Keep going man, I can't have enough of this!
>>
>>37530146
How is Sunset the cuck here when she's the one who fucks Anon? If anything she's the bull and the cucks are the women who pay to watch Anon fuck her.
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>>37530178
>shrimpony waifu
Fucking based.
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>>37530195
Oh i see sorry usually sunset is the cuck so yea... Anyways a quick question thread, how hard would you drop your pasta is you just got claimed in the street buy a Amazon equestrian?
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>>37530205
>just got claimed in the street buy a Amazon equestrian?
>buy
Tell her I'm not a whore and give her a nipple cripple
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>>37528501
As I recall, it also started to get hit with some edgy bullshit, because the villain was a sadistic asshole who used Blood Magic, and there were evil ancient ape wizards who delighted in torturing people.
>>
>>37530205
Shoot her I ain’t into amazons
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>>37530178
yeah id rather not want a crustacian gf thats kinda fuckin weird
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>>37530105
The SIREN'd thing was hot and fun, fuck you guys.
>>
>>37530205
How hard would I drop my pasta? An Italian would weep upon what atrocities I commited to their culinary delicacy. I fucking LOVE Amazon Equestrians. Idfc what people say about nohooves, it is interesting and unique, and really fucking hot as opposed to the usual "Basically fuck a talking cat-sized pone". It has fun world building and is open to a lot of development, as opposed to regular hooves. I'd especially drop my pasta if it was Amazon Sunset or Luna.
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>>37530205
>how hard would you drop your pasta is you just got claimed in the street buy a Amazon equestrian?
i would single handedly solve world hunger
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>>37530205
>Amazon Fluttershy
I think I'd be pretty impressed and proud of her for having the guts to just claim someone like that.
You might expect it from other thirsty horsegirls, but Flutters probably had to stew in nervousness for weeks before she got brave enough to give it a try.
I think I could keep it cool on the surface, but I'd be freaking the fuck out internally.
Probably the same for her too, even as things go fairly smoothly.
>hfw the guy she claimed just goes along with it, and part of her is screaming "what do we do now?!".
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>>37530317
>but I'd be freaking the fuck out internally.
https://youtu.be/D_PwjgvtUOQ
>>
>>37530238
This is your brain on coom, Anons. Never allow it to get this bad.
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>>37523246
Can't really write a slow paced story if your main character has no personality. It's Anon, after all. If you give him character, you might as well use an actual character instead of a 4chan stand-in.
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>>37530441
Pretty sure that there exists the character Anon
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>>37530441
>>37530455
Anon is his own character. /mlp/ is the only place that actually uses him anymore. Everywhere else just has self-inserts labelled Anon.
Though I will take the opportunity to ask: At what point should I use a normal human character instead of Anon? And will using a non-Anon human character turn away readers from here?
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>>37530105
>Implying getting SIREN'd is a bad thing and that they won't care for you

How's it feel being a cuck just like Sunset Anon?
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>>37530205
Fuck dude, their wouldn't be a planet left. Only pasta, and maybe some Italians I guess.
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>>37530512
>Though I will take the opportunity to ask: At what point should I use a normal human character instead of Anon?
When you're writing prose for FiMfiction. When you're here you write greentext and if you have a human character his name is anon or some variation thereof.
>>
>>37530512
You dont use anon when you want to write an actually good story, and post it on fimfic, if you want to use anon, use it on here.
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>>37530637
>You dont use anon when you want to write an actually good story, and post it on fimfic
>good stories on fimfic
H A
A
that shithole is full of pissbabies and futashit
>>
>>37529983
Flurry is addicted to hay tendies,
Cadence to petzer,
And I am to your green.

Take your time, quality is better than quantity.

So, next time, shouldn't Anon make a shitload of pasta, so he could feed two alicorns, a unicorn and himself?
>>
>>37530650
>that shithole is full of pissbabies and futashit
That just makes it easy for good stories to get more attention.
>>
>>37530723
Minor spoiler, but I do plan on having Anon cook more than just spaghetti. Wouldn't be helping to replace one food addiction with another after all.
>>
>>37530741
I'm enjoying how your Anon is filling in Flurry's family's life skills holes with his own abilities. Its a nice take on things.
>>
>ywn be roped into home ec classes hosted by Caramel when they find out you don't know how to keep a house or cook a wide variety of food
>"Anon, sweetie, how can you expect to find a herd if you can only make ten things? Ugh, I bet you don't even vacuum your drapes."
>>
>>37529983
Anon has to teach shining to BE A MAN AND DO THE RIGHT THING
>>
>>37530934
i could actually use some home ed classes regarding plumbing. i've spent the past month trying to get my toilet working properly after the old tank flapper and gaskets wore out and started leaking
>>
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What would little RGRE mares think about pic related?
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>>37531018
I would rather no one thinks about that
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>>37531018
The same way we look at a woman that cooks shit with her menstrual blood.
>>
>>37531009
Naw, sugardick, you need a big strong mare to take care of those pipes, naw'sayin'? But if you were to make a nice plate of sandwiches and a pitcher of iced tea for her, I'm sure she'd appreciate it. You just worry your pretty head about dinner, or flowers, or whatever it is males like.
>>
>>37531137
why do i feel that if i refuse that it'll turn into the diggy hole debacle all over again?
>>
>>37531144
Because you'd be right. Mares are naturally thick-headed (and in fact earth ponies have thicker skulls and use headbutting to establish dominance, but that's neither here nor there), and they won't take 'no' for an answer if they think the alternative is allowing a colt to make a big mess of things - a mess the mares will have to clean up later.
>>
>>37531144
>>37531150
the trick with mares is that you need them to think they came up with the idea. If a stallion comes up with the idea they'll laugh it off and ask to see your balls. If you can trick them into thinking it's their idea, then you'll see some progress.
>>
>>37530512
Write Anon in any and all instances.
You simply write him with more or less heart depending on the story.
When I write Anon, I make a conscious effort to not put my values onto him, and try to give him only similar ideals or a general westerner background that most can understand.
I don't ever want to see you make him some snowflake based off your own life, Anon. There's already too much of that. I'll find you and shit down your throat.

Best thing is just using Anon the character, of being a self-centred arsehole that likes to fuck with ponies.
>>
>>37530512
>will using a non-Anon human character turn away people from here
I know it does for me, I think it might be because most of the time they just use a normal ass name like kevin or justin or something. Its pretty jarring, though that might be more of a personal problem then it is a writing problem.
>>
>>37528010
>This could be used to make anon a powerful magic user, but with the nerf that he's completely dependent on his tools
Remind me of the pseudo-warlock-ish system in Konosuba 2.0, where the MC can theoretically get any SciFi tech he could want, but need to "buy" it from his benefactors by doing random bullshit for them. And it's generally still cheap crap that last one or two uses, meaning all that work pretty much never bring long term growth in power.
Make the same with Anon having a pact/contract/bet/etc with Celestia/Luna/Spergle, giving him magic items/components in exchange for extra-harmony-ish behaviour.
>>
>>37530105
For a website filled with people who suck off capitalism yall really dont respect the hustle do you?
>>
>>37531864
>For a website filled with people who suck off capitalism yall really dont respect the hustle do you?

The dividing line is in dignity and propriety.
>>
>>37531864
You need to go back.
>>
>anon lands in RGRE
>mares offer to help him with everything, from carying his bags to painting his fence
>unlike most anons from other greens who hate that they're treated like how women are treated here, this anon revels in it
>he is a lazy bastard so he abuses the hell out of the mare's kindness (and hornyness)
>he isn't outright a sloot who fucks every pone thst comes across him, but he is a huge tease
>>
>>37532070
>Anon is the sassy friend of the more conventionally attractive househusband that, while not outright malicious, is perfectly fine with using his masculine wiles to get some free labor out of the marefolk
>his "trades" are always fair though, and he may or may not have a particular group of teenaged fillies/repeat victims that promise one day they'll herd up with him
>this proto-herd/declaration of such may or may not be an acceptable outcome for the town-wide project to finally get Anon properly settled down and stop stealing their free lab- er, stop taking advantage of their wives and daughters' idle time that could better be spent among their own family
>>
>>37532070
>anon is strong
>strong for RGRE
> but is also a lazy fuck
>will do anything to get out of work
>good thing there are so many adorable ponies that you can pick up and cuddle for help

>be mare
>woo filly
>you never thought you'd have a amarezonian fetish but here you are
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>>37532305
tom sawyer?
>>
>>37530178
Extremely based
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>>37530178
>ywn fall asleep to the sound of waves crashing on the shore
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>>37530178
I will never forgive the show for completely foregoing one of the most based settings in the universe: the ocean.
>H*ppogriffs
Not even native to the ocean, just went there when the going got tough. Barely do anything with it
>Sirens
Essentially a one-off villain who spends their screentime FLYING
Cringe cringe cringe cringe
>>
>>37531607
>Make the same with Anon having a pact/contract/bet/etc with Celestia/Luna/Spergle, giving him magic items/components in exchange for extra-harmony-ish behaviour.

Nah, make him have a deal with Discord for ACME Diamond Membership Card.
>>
So, how're things going in "No simp September" so far?
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>>37532592
I have brutally and non-consensually snugged 15 different stallions across the greater Canterlot area. I will not stop until these whorses understand my pain
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>>37532562
Anon that is practically begging to become the Wile. E Coyote. of Equestria.
Cursed to forever have the means to do whatever the hell you want, but always getting screwed over at the last possible moment.

I like the idea of this kind of 'pact' thing happening on accident though.
Like Anon agrees to help Twilight clean the library one day and for that entire day he can levitate shit and has higher organisational skills.
Or agrees to help with the apple harvest and suddenly he's able to punch trees without breaking his hands.
>>
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>>37532592
>>37532595
>>
Bats are sexual predators, pass it on
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>>37532618
Literally Cut before her Aunt gave her the job.
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>>37532623
>Your batfu will never get home from work dressed like a classic vampire and shout "I vant to suck your COCK!" the day after she found your stash of classic monster movies
why even live
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>>37532562
>we are currently experiencing temporary outages of some of our items due to ponid-19 supply chain disruptions
>we are currently out of anvils, dynamite, and rock paint primer for the foreseeable future
>>
Guys, I have a cold. If you were sick and your waifu was trying to take care of you, how bad of a mess would you have waiting for you to clean up after you got better?

>Waifu makes soup
>I say "makes" soup, but it's from a can
>When you're back on your feet, you can see that she TRIED to make soup
>There's vegetables everywhere and red tomatoey slime stuck to the ceiling

But for real, since mares aren't the care-givers in RGRE and are typically about as inept as a sitcom dad, what would the situation be like if she were trying to nurse you back to health?
>>
>>37533027
You know, there was an episode of Dexter's Lab where his mom was sick leaving them to fend for themselves. I think that episode would be a good example of what a mare would be like if her househusband was bed-ridden and unable to do housework.
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>>37532048
Go back to fucking your mother? Ok libertard
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>>37533035
>>37533027
Actually, let's take this prompt a step further
>Herd's househusband falls ill.
>Herd tries to work together to do everything their husband does to keep the house in order.
>They all collectively and individually make things worse.
>By the time their husband is better, the whole house is a wreck.
>EVERYTHING in the bathroom is clogged, even the sink.
>The kitchen is on fire, even the sink.
>The living room is under occupation by an army of feral dust bunnies.
>And the mares are all sitting around in the fetal position, catatonic at the disasters they've all created.
>Also because they're all starving from not being able to make any food to feed themselves or each other.
>>
>>37533068
>fucking your mother
Jesus Christ Anon, I could tell you were dull but you could at least pretend to fit in with the thread's topic
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>>37533168
Might I interest you in part of the Nurse Herd shorts by LaP, starting at line 89?
https://pastebin.com/2bUdRr9P
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>>37533784
>Nice read. Thanks Anon!
>>
>>37533784
If only this continued
>>
So Since the Google-Doc bin is fucking dead, is there anywhere all these RGRE stories are catalogued? I haven't been lurking for very long so I don't know what goes on behind the scenes
>>
>>37534459
Ponepaste has a fair few of them. Also all of them are archived on the Desuarcive if you cant to go there
>>
>Be Anon
>You had a breakup a few days ago and it still hurts
>She was so loving, so caring, you two got along so well
>Only for her to cheat on you with another stallion
>It wasn’t even the cheating that hurt, it’s that you couldn’t trust her anymore
>If she told you it wasn’t working out you’d be okay
>Hell if she told you she felt sexually dissatisfied you’d be okay
>You two could at least be good friends
>But you need to trust a friend, so you’re nothing more than acquaintances now
>But you can’t stop thinking about her loving smile, her caring touch, her melodic voice
>You’re talking to Cadence about this
>She’s trying to give advice, asking what you did to get her to cheat on you
>As if it's your fault she cheated if you’d been doing something wrong she should’ve told you
>That’s communication, you can’t have a relationship without it!
>As you’re articulating this you notice the faintest glow on cadence’s horn
>A heart shape
>And sudden thoughts of your ex
>Did…
>Did… Cadence Just…

My dad cheated on my mom and someone asked my mom what she did to make him want to cheat, this was infuriating and happened a year ago.
But it still comes to mind.
When life gives you lemons, you make a dumb prompt, what do you all think anons?
>>
>>37534671
>When life gives you lemons, you make a dumb prompt, what do you all think anons?
I don't understand what Cadence did
Is she trying to rape Anon or something?
>>
>>37534706
I tried to make it sound like she's trying to get anon and his ex back together using that love spell she has, I imagine the effect of it would be to make ponies infatuated or even love each other again. But Anon is reluctant because it's not just about love, it's about trust as well
>>
>>37534725
interesting, do you think the spell would work on Anon, given his fragile mental state in this situation? I imagine that unless the spell was designed to work with those that had vulnerable mental faculties, there would be some unforeseen consequences. Plus Anon is a human not a pony, magic might not be the safest thing to do to him.
>>
>>37534671
>>37534725
So Candyass just did the big no-no and Anon, because of his more complex/human emotions, resisted the blatant mind control.
Jesus, how is Chrysalis' mind controlling of Shining any different from Cadence's love magic? The only difference is just the fucking target of affection!
This is fucked up, man...
As for the IRL origin of your prompt, men cheat because they either don't feel satisfied and desire more, desite something new or something exciting. Alternatively the second brain takes over and the first goes on autopilot, consequences be damned.
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>>37534757
>'desite' instead of 'desire'
Phoneposters like me should be fucking banned, fuck me...
>>
>>37534757
I dont give a shit the reason why the dad cheated, who ever cheats, no matter the gender, is a fucking degenerate piece of shit. (Unles sthe relationship had fallen apart and they were like a thread away from breaking up but ykyk)
>>
>>37534769
>>37534757
idk Anon, from the stories I've heard men generally cheat cause they feel powerful/untouchable. In the U.S. half of the states have infidelity as an actual crime. Coupled with the fact that if your spouse finds out you've cheated, divorce court wont go in your favor. So if you're a man married to a woman and you cheat on her, you're likely going to end up on your ass with not a penny to your name.
>>
>>37534802
They're also assholes. theres that.
>>
>>37534741
I don’t think his mental state was fragile, he can still think straight, but his emotional state is. I only remember her using the spell once to stop an argument between a couple in the show, their mental state was okay, their emotional state not so much. So If their mental state didn’t affect the spell, I also imagine it wouldn’t affect Anon either.
When it comes to magic I usually like to think that humans have some sort of resistance that makes spells directed to them weaker, this could mean that cadence would have to cast the same spell multiple times to get the effect to work on Anon.
If Anon was more affected by magic than normal ponies then the spell would either have a stronger effect, possibly blinding him with love, or it would have side effects. It would be an interesting course for the story to run to, but I initially intended for the main conflict to be Cadence butting in Anon’s love life unwantedly.

I hope I managed to word that in a way that makes sense, thanks for the patience

>>37534757
>>37534781
I don't know why he cheated and honestly, I don't really care. Even if the relationship was falling apart or he desired more it would've hurt less if they divorced and went separate ways than if he cheated. Like the prompt, at least they would've maintained their mutual trust, even if they didn't maintain their love.
>>
>>37534828
that's one thing we can agree on, like>>37534781
said people who cheat are fucking scum
>>
Sooo, any Long And Short Of It update coming soon?
>>
>>37534853
We'll see how this weekend goes.
>>
>>37534757
It's precisely the mind control part that I thought about, she'd be basically making the choice of what's best for Anon, instead of Anon, that's really fucked up.
>>
>>37534781
I agree with your assessment, but understanding the problem is half the solution.
>>37534802
>tfw I'm not a burger
I get what you are saying, but it doesn't necessarily apply to everyone and everywhere.
>>37534832
Some, or rather, most people go out of their way to avoid confrontation. And then get bitten in the ass by it.
This is especially annoying if your spouse does it, and her fucking health is the topic.
I'm so sick and tired of making all the phonecalls for her and forcing her to go to the doctor.
/blog
>>
>>37534873
Now I kinda want poor Anon to have a strong allergic reaction kind of thing happening to him.
Like, mind control magic fucks with human brains in this kind of manner, only causing pain and perhaps rage?
Oh, this has potential!
>>
>>37534853
>Sooo, any Long And Short Of It update coming soon?
There has been a small update to part 1: A small bit for Cloak N. Dagger was added just before Anon's infiltration of the Castle to interview the Kirin.
>>
>>37534671
Jesus christ, removing someone's volition so they do what you want is probably the worst thing you can ever do to a person. Anon needs to get away from candence ASAP
>>
>>37534671
>>37534954
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-tj_IzTJ2Y
>>
>>37534954
>probably the worst thing you can ever do to a person
You have a very limited imagination. I guess that's probably for the best in this case.

Nevertheless, Cantdance is definitely cruisin' for a bruissassinatin'.
>>
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The highest compliment a stallion can strive for. Look at the pride in his eyes.
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what bedtime stories would you tell your foals, anons?
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>>37534671
>>37534725
Thats a very cynical interpretation of her magic.
I see it more like fanning the flames of whats there rather than a AND NOW YOU MUST KISS type situation.
I could see her casting a similar looking spell as a sort of diagnostic of his feelings, bringing them to the forefront so she can help properly like finding out whether the relationship is salvagable.
Anon still loves the cheater but it's a broken and battered type of love, choked by the feelings of mistrust she's instilled in him, and i prefer the idea that peetzer horse can recognise that kind of thing.
>>
>>37535015
You do have a point, I feel like that sounds a lot more like something Cadence would do than just mind-controlling others. Maybe it'd be possible to make her have the best intentions and just be slightly misandrist, getting her to give biased advice.
>>
>>37535012
The old lady who swallowed a fly, regardless of the outcome I think it would be pretty funny. Especially when it gets to the punchline
>There was an old lady who swallowed a horse.
>She's dead, of course.
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>>37535015
>AND NOW YOU MUST KISS
Don't worry, shining has that part down
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>>37534671
>"Hi, Chrysalis? How badly do you want to ruin Cadence's life?"
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>>37535041
Stereotypical colt would be greatly exaggerating the problem, she'd check his feelings, check the partners feelings and realise it's all surface level easy solved "Stop being a doofus and communicate" problems.
Then Anon comes along sounding like the same thing, she does the spell and oh shit this is actually serious fuck.
So then the misandry switch is flipped to the other extreme and Anon is treated to Cadence going full mother mode on him because HOW DARE that mare hurt her precious cinnamon roll this badly.
>>
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>>37535173



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