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Last thread: >>37338789

IRC: irc.rizon.net #/mlp/AiE
Active list: http://pastebin.com/mVG33ERX
Master list: http://pastebin.com/xGf9RcL9
Completed Stories list: http://pastebin.com/QZ4PDe7g
Stories Sorted by Pony: http://pastebin.com/GJyQquaY
>rope's HD remastered thread archives: http://pastebin.com/Qg2dwzq0
>Add for Skype: sin.aie
>If a pastebin link is broken you can copy the string at the end of the url of a poneb.in link so pastebin.com/mVG33ERX becomes https://poneb.in/mVG33ERX

>PiE Corner
>Remember to tag all PiE Stories.
PiE Author List: http://pastebin.com/Mgd0QuNy
PiE image archives: http://derpy.link/PiE_Pictures
Browser Pony Author List: http://pastebin.com/ZCGjtftk
Browser Pony image and story archive: http://derpy.link/BrowserPonies
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Top tier
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Someone is cruising for another 1000 year time out.
op is so gay that he receives daily job offers to be a dildo tester
Tripfags in Equestria
I also get free samples of bondage gear for testing and evaluation.
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It used to be "Tripfags in Equestria" but we lost our trips.
I found a few
>Be Anon in Horseland
two minute thing inna car wash
>Slip and fall over an rock or something
>"Have a nice trip fag?"
>Big Mac is an asshole.
>You don't like Big Mac
That's real rich coming from Big Mac.
more like dead as fuck lmao
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she locks children in cages
I'll lock you in a cage you fucking bastard i swear to god
Cozy's a shit and only pedophiles think otherwise.
Say no to anchor fillies. We must secure our boarders!
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I don't even know what an anchor filly is so fuck you suck a dick
Anchor-babies. Exploitation of citizenship rules where illegal aliens have a child that becomes an American citizen and uses that baby as an anchor to keep them inside the US.
That doesn't look like Biden or Obama at all
Where is everyone lol. Only 11 anon here?
Have some Eldritch Anon.
Stories where Anon becomes a villain but it's not just an edgefest and is handled well and true to the characters and world?
At work.
This was posted at 3am, so asleep.
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Hey buddy, I have a life! (not really)
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Oh hey me too! We should hang out.
Why the fuck would I go outside or interact after work
one of my co workers actually wanted to hang out after work yesterday, it was so fucking bizarre I'm glad i accepted, god i miss having real friends.
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>having a job
>having a life
Be a ghost. Boo!
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Because every day is repost day.
>you were just fishing
>just sitting out on the little lake, in a rowboat, fishing
>that's all
>when suddenly this enormous white horse creature eight stories tall reared out of the water and fixed you with her deep violet eyes
"What the FUCK?"
>she glares
>"I am Celestia Sol Invictus, the Unconquered Sun. No man commands me, nor pony, nor beast, and even the dragons speak softly in my presence."
"What... what do you want?"
>She stares at you thoughtfully a long, long time.
>The silence is terrifying.
>Then she speaks.
>"About tree fiddy."
>You done got fooled again.
>By that Loch Celestia Monster.
did you give her the treefiddy?
yes. <:(
Was this a theme years ago? I don't remember it.
>"Consarn it... Ranger Orange!"
>"R-ranger, um, Yellow."
>"Ranger Pink!
>"Ranger White. Did I do it correctly?"
>"Ranger Blue, coming at ya!"
>"This is so... Ugh, Ranger Purple."
>"And Ranger Green! Together we are..."
>you all strike a pose, some more enthusiastic than others.
>then you all shout, except for Fluttershy, she whispers.
>"The Rainbow Rangers!"
>Tirek just stares at all of you with a frown while Discord munches on some popcorn.
>"Is this some kind of joke?!"
>you point at him.
"The only joke here is you, for thinking that Equestria's magic is yours for the taking!"
>"I refuse to even entertain this ridiculous-"
>goat boy is interrupted by your unicorn powered kick to his dumb face.
"Harmony Kick!"
Just a random South Park reference. I don't know if it got to the status of being an actual meme around here.
did he die
press F to pay respects
I just gave him treefiddy last week
you WHAT?
He tricked me.
"Shh! Quiet, Twilight! Can't you hear? The walls are speaking Kirin!"
>Twilight listens for a bit before realizing something.
>"Anon, Kirin don't talk."
>you pet her.
"Exactly! Who knows what they're thinking?!"
>Twilight seems to realize something else while you're pinching her cheeks.
>what a smart pony.
>"Wait, what's a Kirin?"
How DID a pony mate with a dragon anyhow?
I'm guessing the dragon stuck his dick inna poner poon and eventually came. I can't be sure though as I only play a doctor.
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>Poor, farm girl Ponk was not used to fellas working (other than Big Mac but he's technically family).
>So, Anon was a lovely shock to her when he agreed that faithful day to help The Apples fix up their old plough.
Just in case: Plough means Plow but both mean the same thing, the first spelling is just went through my head.

And secondly: Pinkie Pie used to be a farm girl, albeit a *rock* farm girl.
someone didn't watch the show
>The moon hung high in the sky. It was bright, and almost seemed out of place.
>Not a single star was in sight, leaving the moon to dominate the dark canvas by itself.
>You are Anonymous, but with a throbbing headache, and your body aches from head to toe.
>The last thing you can remember was coming home in a tornado of emotions.
>Your girlfriend of several years had broken up with you, the reason didn’t come to mind
>In fact, most things weren’t coming to mind right now, it was a blur trying to remember anything significant.
>You struggled to sit up right, your back popped and ached as you straightened out.
>It felt like you had run a marathon, hit the gym, and got hit by a train all in the same day.
>Everything in your body was sore, more sore than you’ve ever been before.
>Glancing at your surroundings, it was clear you were in some kind of castle, though it was old and in ruins.
>Large pillars stood staggered and off-center on both sides to the carpet you now noticed you were sitting on.
>It stretched out and up some steps, slipping underneath a large wooden and metal door just down the hall from you.
>To your left and to your right, the only things adorning the walls besides ruined and torn tapestries, were large glass panes that gave a glimpse of the outside world.
>You turned as much as you could to take a peek behind you, though it was just another door, except this one was clearly the entrance to the place.
>Feeling like you had some energy and strength back, you stood up with a grunt.
>Your balance was wobbly at first, but you recovered soon after.
>Despite the uneasy feeling in your legs, you pushed on down the hall, feeling a chill as you got closer to the door.
>Pushing forward on the right door, you were surprised at how easily it moved despite the old hinges screeching in response.
>Slipping through the doors you first saw the same kind of barren room.
>Except this one held a large statue of a planet in the middle of the room.
>Five smaller pedestals floating around it, all carrying orbs that looked to be somewhat smaller than a bowling ball you figured.
>Your curiosity had peaked, you walked up and reached out to the orb that was closest.
>The moment your fingertips touched the stone, it glowed dimly in response as you felt a surge of something course throughout your body.
>Exhaling the breath you didn’t know you were holding, you pulled your hand back from the stone.
>It didn't make you feel any better or worse, but it certainly made your skin tingle all over.
>Idly glancing behind you, all you saw was the door you had come through.
>Turning back to the statue, you looked at the other four orbs though they were all the same, just blank smooth orbs.
>You mentally shrugged before moving to take a peek around the statue, only to find another large door that was already cracked ajar.
>Moving closer to look through it, you saw what looked like a throne room and at the end up against a wall, sat two thrones.
</> 1/5
>Curiosity strikes once again, you slipped in between the doors and found yourself in what looked like a throne room.
>If you could even call it that, it didn’t quite look like what you imagined a throne room would look like in a castle.
>What few decorations that weren’t crumbled or destroyed, looked simple and more like decorations you would find in a house.
>Some tapestries lined the walls, and more glass panes, though some were shattered in this room, leaving a chilling breeze to permeate the room.
>Looking up at the roof, you noticed it mostly blown apart, revealing the moon in full.
“Is the moon supposed to be that bright?” You questioned, not expecting an answer.
>It definitely was more vibrant than the last time you had seen the moon.
>Your attention wandered back down to the room and more importantly the differences between the two thrones.
>The throne on the left was remarkably larger than the other, adorned with gold trim and decorations depicting the sun.
>The throne on the right was much smaller, though this one was adorned with silver trim and decorations depicting a crescent moon.
>You got closer to the thrones, though it was slow as you couldn’t help but gaze at the lunar throne.
>Something about it hit your soul, it was comforting, it felt like it was calling out to you.
>As you approached it, you felt a sudden rush of fatigue wash over you, causing you to stumble forward.
>Catching yourself on the throne, your muscles relaxed instantly, refusing to respond.
‘Maybe sitting down wouldn’t be the worst idea…’ You thought to yourself as your body became responsive again.
>Climbing up onto the throne and sitting down, it felt oddly warm and comfortable, despite being made out of stone.
>But suddenly all you could see was a pair of slitted cyan eyes against a canvas of darkness, gazing into you, rather your soul.
>Echoing quietly in the background, you could hear blood curdling screams, all different tones and pitches.
>A chill shot up your spine, you wanted to run, you had to run… But something was keeping you still.
>You couldn’t move a single muscle, not even open your mouth to scream. Nothing.
>Though you could still feel everything. You could especially feel the dark tendrils crawling up your legs, and around your arms, phasing in and out of the throne you sat on.
>Your mind tensed up as the eyes disappeared, and you felt a hot slow breathing on the back of your neck.
>And within an instant, everything disappeared. The tendrils, the darkness that shrouded the room, everything.
>But it was a short lived moment as the darkness enveloped the room and your vision again. Soon, you felt nothing, you saw nothing. Complete and total darkness.
</> 2/5
>Your mind was groggy, your vision blurry. You blinked, and then blinked again as your vision cleared up.
>You stretched out your arms and kicked out your legs as you leaned back and yawned.
>Licking your dry lips and swallowing what little saliva you had, you winced from how dry your throat was.
>Instinctively you looked back up at the mostly destroyed roof, you noticed it was still night and the moon was still just as bright.
>Your eyes darted down as you tilted your left arm to glance at your watch, but you frowned.
>It was broken and cracked in several spots, the glass was shattered, and the hands were missing.
>You leaned back into the throne, sighing as a million thoughts raced through your head.
>But an incredibly bright flash of light knocked you out of your head, you quickly looked up as the night sky lit up, making it look like it was day time for a brief moment.
>Immediately after, a bolt of lightning came racing down, striking the ground in the middle of the room.
>The stone floor shattered from the impact.
>Dust from the pillars, the floors, and everything in the room rose up into the air like a sandstorm.
>Though it settled back down quickly, you couldn’t help but cover your mouth with an arm as you went into a coughing fit.
>Once it subsided, your attention was drawn to the area of impact from the lightning bolt.
>Laying exactly where the lightning had struck, was a rather large horse, though it seemed it was unconscious..
>From the distance between you two, it seemed like she was easily taller than you.
>It had a dark blue coat, and a very ethereal looking blue mane and matching tail, that looked like it was a depiction of the night sky, including the stars that sparkled delicately.
>You were also quick to notice it was wearing a light blue almost cyan helmet, breastplate that didn’t cover much of her body aside from her chest, and boots… or hoof-guards, you weren’t really sure what exactly they were.
>Oddly enough, it also had a horn… and wings. It definitely wasn’t a normal horse.
>It didn’t look hurt from a distance, but it was definitely out cold.
>Still tired, and somehow in less pain, you stood up from the throne and crept toward the horse.
>You kept a slow pace as you didn’t want to stir the horse awake to avoid any panic.
>It was probably the biggest horse you ever saw in person, one kick from its hind legs would break your ribs easily and then some.
>Approaching the still horse body, you knelt down behind and looked over its body for any wounds.
>You couldn’t find anything, not a single scar, burn, or any physical damage.
>But you did find out it was a female, as you spotted two large teats, and no horsecock in sight. You were kind of thankful for that.
>Feeling brave you placed your left hand on the back of her neck, the ethereal mane splitting and parting against your hand like a fluid. You began rubbing up and down her neck with a gentle slow pace.
</> 3/5
>You gave another quick check over her body, you sighed in relief as you still found nothing wrong.
>Though your eyes began to wander until you eventually settled on her hind leg, rather what was now her flank. There was an odd marking, it looked like a crescent moon over an empty night sky.
>Feeling braver than before, you placed your free hand on her flank, gently rubbing at the mark. It was flat against her body, as if it were a part of her skin.
>But this time there was a twitch as you felt her body tense up, her breathing had slowed down too.
>Your hand continued to rub at her neck, while your free hand kept still.
“Uhm, how ya’ doin’ girl?” You asked softly, it was barely above a whisper. You had been on a farm or two before, and the owners always spoke to their horses. So you figured you would try it.
>But the moment you finished your sentence, you felt the mare freeze, it was subtle but you noticed.
>Before you could react, there was an incredibly blinding flash of light, and a sharp crack similar to the lightning from before.
>Once the light had dimmed down and you could see again, you noticed she disappeared and reappeared some feet away from you.
>Though as you two met each other's gaze, she let out a groan as she fell onto her stomach, her horn glowing with a blue aura.
>She recovered shortly after, and you two locked eyes again. This time there was a hint of surprise, then a look of curiosity, before it ultimately settled onto a scowl, her lips forming a thin neutral line.
“I guess I should just take that as a kind of, but no?” You let out a nervous laughter and shrugged, keeping still where you were knelt down.
‘Okay this is seriously not a normal hor–’
>”E-explain yourself, creature—” you felt her gaze intensify despite her weak state “—how dare you put your hooves on us!” She yelled out, following it up with a cough.
“W-wait… You can talk?” A look of surprise is all you gave her.
>She tilted her head, responding with an equally surprised or maybe confused expression. Or both.
>”You mean to tell us, it is a surprise to you, that we speak?” Her voice was regal and rather honeyed.
>You swallowed what little was in your mouth and blinked multiple times.
“Am I dreaming?” You asked out of disbelief as you stood up, completely ignoring your aching body.
>She scoffs in response. “This is all quite real, we can assure you.” Her eyes narrowed, a scowl forming on her muzzle.
>Her eyes followed your every movement as you walked back toward the thrones, opting to sit at the bottom of the stairs leading up to them instead.
“Alright then... think I could pick your brain?” You asked, patting the floor to your right, “Cause, I have a lot of questions…”
>There was an uncomfortable silence for a little while, but she eventually stood up with a sigh.
</> 4/5
>You are the empress of the night, the queen of terror, the matriarch of shadows.
>But right now? You were nothing but a helpless pony.
>Even after a thousand years without any physical contact, or affection, let alone unconditional attention.
>You still felt it to be wrong, you were an alicorn, an all-powerful ruler, now reduced to a puddle of blue fur and quiet moans.
‘But it does feel quite exceptional.”’ You wanted to protest against the assault. The gentle yet meaningful rubbing across the length of your neck, with the occasional scratching.
>”Damn, a thousand years? That’s a little overkill in my opinion, sheesh.”
>You cannot bring to mind what you had said to receive such a reply, instead you were only able to bring forth unruly thoughts.
>You shivered and twitched as you felt his other hand run along the thin boneline of your exposed wing again. It was that especially which drew a moan from your lips.
>At that very moment, you felt somewhat content.
>Even if the ponies of Equestria despised you, and thought you to be a vile monster.
>Even if your dearest sister was preparing to banish you once again for another thousand years.
>You sighed as you felt the hands hold still, but were still touching you.
“W-why did you stop!?”
>”Sorry! You just spaced out, I wasn’t sure.” His reply was quick as his hands got back to work, making you feel amazing.
>You shivered and shuddered as his assault continued. Your heart was beating fast, you pushed into Anonymous harder.
>But even in the mental state you were in, you heard something in the distance. Your ears twitched and tilted back in an attempt to ignore it.
>But you couldn’t. There were voices. Your heart slowed almost to a stop as a chill ran through your body.
>Anonymous felt it, you knew because his hands stopped once again.
>”Did I touch something I shouldn’t have?” Despite the tone and the chuckle he gave, you kept still.
>A door creaked open and a voice bellowed out, it too was royal and distinctly familiar. “Nightmare… moon?” It filled the air with tension, but then it quickly broke as confusion seeped into the voice, commanding both yours and Anon’s attention.
>Both of your heads snapped to the door as your dearest sister, Princess Celestia, and an unknown group of six ponies stood behind her. All of them minus your sister, wearing what looked like the elements of harmony.
>However they all cycled through the same look of confusion, curiosity, and surprise.
>Your armor was off and set aside. You were laying against the human, and you definitely felt a heat forming in your cheeks.
“M-my dearest sister. W-we can explain!” You tried hard to not stammer, but you faltered ever so slightly.
>Princess Celestia tilted her head in confusion, her wings tucked into her sides as she put a hoof to her forehead and let out a sigh.
</> 5/5

https://ponepaste.org/5708 - A Nightmare, No More. I plan on adding more I think, this is just an idea I wanted to write.
wow no way
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A noble stallion went down the path of the bard and did his duty
oh no
>"FUCK! OW! GOD... DAMN..."
You start, looking around in panic for a moment before recognizing that voice.
You start trotting toward the stream of invectives, looking for your human friend.
It's just Anon, that paradoxical combination of underreaction and overreaction.
When he injures himself he'll cuss like nothing else on Equestria, but always refuses any serious medical attention, claiming "he's had worse".
You still don't understand how he can "walk off" some of his injuries.
One time, he caught one of his front legs on the edge of a nail sticking out of your doorframe and tore a two-hoof-long gash right in front of you.
You were understandably worried he wouldn't make it to the hospital, but he just calmed you down, walked over to your sink, rinsed it out, and tore a strip off his shirt to wrap it with.
Allegedly humans are made of pretty tough stuff compared to anything else on Equestria.
It makes sense though, you still get chills sometimes thinking about some of the stories about "Earth" he used to tell your friends, before Flutteryshy started getting nightmares.
Poverty, starvation, random violence... in some places, humans had to walk around with tools designed specifically to kill another human just to be safe from one another.
He always refused to elaborate on any of those tools, claiming he didn't want to introduce "trench warfare" to Equestria.
Even when you pressed him, he wouldn't say a word about that "trench warfare" either.
It bothers you, not knowing something, but he said it's for the best and Twilight Sparkle trusts her friends.
As you round the corner, you call out to him in a gentle voice.
"Anon, what happened this time?"
You freeze as his body comes into sight.
He's lying on the ground muttering, but what holds your sight is the stream of rich, red blood flowing down his face.
Oh no.
no no no no no
>"I'm fine, don't shout in my ear."
>"Who's the human here again? Stings like a bitch but I say I'm fine. It's a small cut, head injuries just bleed a lot."
"Anon you are going to go see Redheart RIGHT NOW!"
>"Fuck off."
You light your horn and begin casting a simple medical scanning spell.
>"Twilight, don't do a stupid!"
You don't hear him.
You're gagging as you see for the first time what truly lies within your friend.
A parasite has set root in him.
A huge, wrinkled blob of fat sits nestled in a spiderweb, right where every living being's soul should be.
You can't find Anon's soul.
It ate Anon.
As your horn brightens and you firm up your grip, the thing inside the body of your friend starts screaming in agony.
You teleport it out.
Instantly Anon's body goes limp, but it doesn't matter... it hasn't been Anon for a while, has it?
With the thing held in your telekinetic grasp, now visible to the eye, you can see just how insidious it really is.
Tendrils had spread out to follow every single mana channel in his body, splitting and splitting to consume even the slightest wisp until they were smaller than you could see.
Your vision compelled to trace them backward, you see the worm-like strands collect thicker and thicker, ropy strings of flesh carrying stolen mana back to their source.
The source.
The body of the parasite.
It's more disgusting than anything even a deranged soul like Chrysalis could imagine.
Shriveled, like one of the deflated balloons always left in the aftermath of a Pinkie Party.
Anon will never be able to attend another Pinkie Party.
Because this thing ate him.
How long had this been sitting inside him, eating him from the inside out?
Had his speech been stolen first?
Every time he injured himself, was it a call for help, hoping a scan would reveal this thing stealing Anon from you?
No wonder the parasite had talked up "Anon's" resistance to injury, no wonder "Anon" had such a large pain tolerance.
Another thought strikes you.
The wretch floating in front of you looks near fully grown.
Of course it does, it gorged itself on Anon's essence.
Once a parasite reaches adulthood, it reproduces.
You imagine the parasite swelling up to its full size with children, bursting out of Anon's head as you rear up to hug him.
You imagine a parasite squirming up your nose, as you desperately try to tear it out.
You imagine the parasite supping on your mana, as it slowly grows inside you and you slowly grow dimmer.
You imagine your body walking up to Princess Celestia, and beckoning her closer before your parasite explodes out of your hollow body, infecting the Princess.
You vomit.
With a twist of your mana the abomination hovering in front of you is incinerated, and the ash transmuted to water vapor.
Leaving Anon's long-dead body behind, you gallop toward the train station.
The Princess will know what to do.
She has to.
This was originally prose in response to a private challenge and I lazily converted it to greentext. Feel free to post it on ponypaste with "proper" greentext formatting.
no, I dont think I will
C'mon. It'd be the based thing to do.
I don’t think you know what that means.
>here's a thing I made for free, please enjoy
"fuck you I don't like this part"
>you're free to fix that up and share it with others
"fuck you I don't wanna"
"why are all the threads dead"
"where'd all the greens go?"
"why aren't people making me free shit"
inb4 accusations of "tourist" and/or "/mlp/ has always stood for being an entitled asshole who spites others contributions to the board, grow a tougher skin"
baka my head complain about formatting of all things?
Does anon actually have a parasite or did twi just accidentaly kill him
She killed the FUCK out of him, it looks like. Seems like this prompt or whatever is running on the assumption that ponies don't have brains and just have "souls" in their heads.

She just ripped out his damn nervous system, brain and all from the description. And on a side note, while "ponies don't have brains and think Anon has a parasite" is interesting, immediately killing the fucker kinda just makes the story a one and done, honestly.
Yeah, like I said it was really just a short story that I was inspired to write. A friend gave me the prompt "ponies are completely different from human biology and this turns into a serious problem" and had a few ideas on that like poisoning, not dying when poisoned, can’t eat equestrian meat, etc. but I remembered the "moral fiber" picture of the nerves laid out and how that might look to an equestrian who runs on magic and friendship and realized I had to write this. The original plan was for Anon to make comments about being a brain controlling a mecha meat suit or the like and it gets interpreted completely wrong, but the maximum fuckup I could imagine with something like that would be trying to make Anon a new meat suit for his birthday, complete with a visit to each of the m6 for each of their skills or resources when making it, and capped off with twiggles trying to teleport him into the new "suit" while he’s asleep as a surprise present or something like that and the patchwork Anon either liking or hating the new body for [reason]. While it could be hilarious and perfectly capable of being expanded into a 10k epic, it would also be a lot more work than I wanted to put into it. I didn’t really plan on expanding it so it wouldn't be a very long jumping off point for someone else, and of course anyone else is free to write their own version, so I optimized the story for "serious problem" by having Twilight freak the fuck out about an evil parasite.
>She killed the FUCK out of him
If there were a way to give a post updoots, I'd be giving you an updoot.

press F to pay respects
he'll get better right?
Please do I would read it

I'm just about done editing chapter 1 now, I'm pretty happy with how it reads at this point, I'll be working on chapter 2 soon.
>tfw have never edited my work
I finish then I post, you get the raw experience.
I do exactly that, and then I reread it. So I can fix glaring issues kek.
same but without rereading
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>You are Anonymous, but in pony prison, or at least what they considered was prison.
>Hell, you weren’t even shackled either, it seemed more like a holding cell for slightly out of line dignitaries.
>It had many amenities and was quite comfortable, in fact you were sipping on an ice cold glass of water laying on a plush couch.
>About the only thing remotely prison-like was the metal bars, which were gold, and the two royal guards keeping watch over you.
>You learned quite a bit while cuddling with Nightmare Moon, such things as who that white pony was that interrupted you two.
>That same white pony who just happened to be her sister.
>That very same white pony who also just happened to be the ruler of the country you were in.
>Also the same white pony who as a matter of fact, was your jailer and as well as your sole representative.
>Case in point, you were beyond fucked.
>It was bad enough that you randomly came to be in this so called ‘Equestria’
>Kicked out of your own world and into a completely new one.
>You slumped down into the couch, stepping the drink on the coffee table to your right.
>Unfortunately the furniture was also pony sized, and while the room was comfortable, you were not.
‘God, if you exist, I swear to you I didn’t even try to kill my–’
>The sound of voices echoed quietly from down the hall, snapping you out of your head.
>You glanced at the cell bars, you noticed the guards had gone rigid, their posture straightened as did their spears.
>It must’ve been someone important, like that Princess Sungod, you figured.
>You were already prepared for this, you had a speech ready about how you weren’t trying to violate her sister.
>At least you were prepared until you saw a white stallion approach the cell bars instead.
>He was wearing some kind of officer's uniform judging by how he differed from the others.
>You found it funny when you noticed his coat, uniform and sapphire blue mane made up the colors of the US flag, god bless.
>The two guards watching over you, saluted him and quickly scampered off, leaving just you and his two guards.
>It was awkward to say the least, you were staring at him and he stared back, though it seemed like he was studying you.
>He passed a quick glance to the two guards behind them, they exchanged nods.
>You felt a bead of sweat roll down your forehead as the room felt warmer.
“So uh… I’m getting executed aren’t I?” you said with a nervous smile and a chuckle at the end.
>”Woah, woah, what?” The officer replied with a face of shock as if you just spoke the forbidden words.
>He immediately shook his head and continued. “No, not even close, we’re here to escort you to Princess Celestia.”
>You let out a sigh of relief, at least you still had time to plead your case before your head came off.

Just posting the first part of chapter 2 as a teaser, I got quite a bit to think of and write for chapter 2 and I've been slacking all day.
Holy shit a green in AiE? When was the last time this happened? Months ago.
Your contributions when
I contribute enough shitposting to keep this alive.
Look at what post I linked fagfag.
>Be Anon at work in Equestria.
"Man, fuck this gay job."
>Managet hoers noticing your outburst turns to you. "What'd you say?"
"I said, fuck this gay job."
>"I know, I just wanted to hear it again.", he says with a smile.
>"Grab your coat and lock the doors. Fuck this place. we going to the strip club."
>Then you all fucked off to the horesy noodiebar for hotwings and lap dances.
In Equestria, "lap dances" are when the qt pone dancer sits in your lap for a few minutes, that's all. But it's still pretty nice.
Every day is repost day.
>be Anonymous
>be in Equestria
>as the only human, you are a bit of a curiosity
>you're being interviewed by the Princesses
>specifically Sunbutt and Moonbutt
>or, as you privately think of them, "Built for Comfort" and "Built for Speed"
>a television set is chattering in the background across the room
>you can't remember which season this is, do they have TV in Equestria or not?
>you guess they do
>you're talking about the history of Western Civilization as best you can recall it
>a familiar-sounding voice cackles from the TV set
>you turn and it looks like Celestia, only her mane's on fire and the sclera of her eyes are black
>she's ranting at a confused TV reporter
>"Are you on drugs?" asks the reporter
>the Celestia clone on the screen grins maniacally
>"I'm on a drug and it's called BEING DAYBREAKER!"
>"And you can't have any! If you tried it you'd die!"
>"Your face would melt off and you'd explode from the awesomeness!'
>you look at Princess Celestia, puzzled
>Princess Luna rolls her eyes and gives her sister a "dope slap" to the back of the head
>you are pretty sure you shouldn't ask
>but you are compelled anyway
"Too many hot peppers?"
>there is a long pause
>Celestia is looking sadly at the floor
>"Cocaine, actually."
>she looks at you sadly
>"It's a hell of a drug."
>it was a face-meltingly awesome day
>cute pone just sitting in your lap, not doing anything lewd
Why is this my new fetish? I would poke them every time, have no doubts
But would she giggle like the Pillsbury Doughboy?

where's the dance part
its not a lap dance if there's no movement
that's the entire fucking point
the other even forgot about no touching the girls.
tempted to post that one Trixie stripping pic with the retard in the background losing his shit but suspect get an b& by an thenthative janner
If you mean >>37528944 I meant with my dick.
Not sure what is so complicated about that but I will break it down for you.
I was going to post an amusing picture of Trixie doing stripper things that had one of the audience members freaking out about seeing her shake her booty. I assumed it fit in to the current series of posts in this thread and a bump was also due.
But, before posting said picture I had concerns arise that it may not be acceptable to the more sensitive of 4chan janitors and I decided against posting it. Instead I made a lazy joke about overly sensitive moderators and janitors by using the phonetic spelling of the way an stereotype homosexual may say the word sensitive.
Dat ass was fat in that pic though.
post link, fagoot
>>>You're talking about the history of Western Civilization as best you can recall it.
>Anon tries convincing the Princesses that this so-called "America" was the shit.
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boop the pone
Just show them your gun and give them a burger.
>He immediately shook his head and continued. “No, not even close, we’re here to escort you to Princess Celestia.”
This is going to be awkward.
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More Moonie when
Wow he's in Equestria
New Moonie can't come soon enough (good lord there be some thread spam about).
I unno when it's done?
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>such human
>so poneworld
Gee Anon, how come your Mom lets you hold two poners?
It's not that he gets to hold them, they just won't leave.
thats a win
>You're Anon, oddly enough, and you're currently giving Applebloom a ride in the front pocket of your hoodie.
>It wasn't long after the ponies had discovered hoodie cuddle technology that they figured out the front pocket was perfectly-sized for foals.
>Twilight had written a peer-reviewed paper about it and everything.
>Her two friends were close behind you, talking about crusades or whatever.
>When a cold breeze whips by, you absentmindedly slide your hand in your hoodie pocket, only for Applebloom to hug it tightly.
"Uh, I kinda need my hand, Applebloom."
>"Well ah need it more!"
>She nuzzles into your wrist and gives you big puppy dog eyes.
>That would've probably given you diabetes if you hadn't been living around stuff like this for years.
>You pull your hand out of the pocket, only for Applebloom to be pulled out with it.
>"H-hey! Put me back!"
>Before you can, you feel a warm weight settle in as Scootaloo jumps into the pocket.
>Applebloom's fear is quickly replaced by annoyance.
>"Git outta there, it's still my turn!"
>"You move it, you lose it."
>You feel a tug on your pant leg and look down to see Sweetie Belle looking back up at you.
>"When can I have a turn, Mr. Anon?"
>Right as you're about to speak, Applebloom begins crawling up your sleeve.
"C-cut that out, I-ah!"
>You look back down to where Sweetie Belle was standing only to see her tail disappearing up the bottom of your hoodie.
>After a few seconds, their heads pop out of the neck hole, beneath yours.
>"Aw, yeah~ nevermind, Scootaloo."
>The three of them begin to settle in as you resign yourself to your snuggly fate.
>"Thanks for the ride, Mr. Anon!"
"...Anytime, girls."
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she's so perfect bros...
inb4 vacation
Fuck I want to worship Luna's ass every fucking night. FUCK.
so smol
so perfect
If there ever was a continuation to this maybe it could involve Twilight realizing that some other species out there has a nervous system (or at least something similar to it) and she basically made Anon experience the ultimate flaying.
Sounds like you've got more of an idea about what you want to see
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Something interesting I wanted to share in case someone ends up wanting to do something with it and also remember for later.
Hands down the only way you or anyone else will see this materialize is if you do it yourself. Better fire up a word processor.
Why did you post three times
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I don't think I could do it justice.
>someone actually caught that
Forgot pic, then fucked up the formatting.
>I don't think I could do it justice.
Everyone thinks that. It doesn't matter.
Start typing.
Just ape the style of your favorite greens, everyone does that when they start
Great artists steal.
shit, no wonder I suck at drawing
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Better for something to be created as well as you are capable than to never be created at all.
You have a lot more experience ingesting art than you do creating it, so it's only natural for your tastes, likes, and opinions to be more advanced and more refined than what you are actually able to create yourself.
Like, I can recognize when a painting has good perspective, color blending, and anatomical proportions, but I couldn't paint a fucking smiley face without it coming out wonky.

Look friend, everyone starts out shit. That's just how it is. The only way to stop being shit is to practice, and that means making a lot of garbage first.
Be kind to yourself and accept that you're just going to be kinda shit for a little while.
BUT if you keep churning out shitty stuff consistently enough, you will gradually improve over time. Keep at it long enough and one day you'll be working on your latest piece of shit, look back on something you made ages ago, and be amazed at how far you've come.

Maybe you can't do something as good as some other guy, but you can always do it as good as you can, and that's good enough.
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Is that stories sorted by pony link new, or am I having an early alzheimer moment?
Yeah nigga just do it
It's been there for ages.
any good, and hopefully finished, wizard or magic anon stories?
None finished that I'm aware of. Thaumaturgy With Anon is a good magic story though.
Is it finished?
Its not complete, but HK hasn't updated it in a long time.
Yeah corona spread the writers we had to the wind
Sounds really interesting, hope you keep going.
I've been lazy, but I'll some updates here soon. It's been kind of a slog trying to get through a particular scene, but the rest of what I have in mind should go pretty easily.
I've found that when I struggle with a scene, it's helpful to move on to another scene where I know exactly what needs to happen, and how it needs to happen. Then I'll return to the scene that was giving me trouble with some momentum built up.
I just shove it out.
Like a poop.
is it done now?
It can be as done as you want.
I'll have it medium rare please
Around here it's rare for anything to get done. HEYOOOOOOOO
big boop
That's not true, there's an entire list of them in the op.
they list one of mine as done but I'm just lazy as fuck lol
eh close enough
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no thanks.
No I'm doesn't.
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Based horsefucker anon.
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How...soon is soon?
I've been lazy, but I'm in the middle of wrapping up Chapter 2, either will be later tonight or tomorrow I'll have it all posted up. I ran into a bit of a snag that requires me to think about something.
>After a long one thousand years, you were now finally face to face with the one responsible for all of those painfully lonely years.
>Over those years, you had rehearsed many conversations and your replies.
>You also had thought of many scenarios and how you would deal with them.
>But it had all been pointless as despite all of your preparation, your mind drew nothing but blanks.
>You glanced up at your sister, who gave you a meek smile.
>”You have been staring at your tea for quite some time now, something… or somepony on your mind?” she teased with a giggle.
>Unable to help the heat forming in your cheeks, you gave your sister a fierce scowl before hastily looking down.
“Tell us, dear sister, was our banishment not enough?” Your eyes fixated on the now cold cup of tea sitting in front of you.
>Your sister sighed heavily, followed by the quietest sip and the tap of porcelain against porcelain.
>“Luna… banishment was not my intention, you know this. I was only merely trying to help–”
“Help?” you yelled out and stomped your forehooves on the table, causing everything to shake and clatter, knocking your teacup over and spilling tea over the table in the process.
>Both you and your sister locked eyes as her facade quickly broke, revealing her tired and somber expression.
“If your intentions had truly been to help, then please explain to us how willingly ignoring us and our plight, in favor of subjects who openly shone nothing but disrespect and disgust toward us, could ever help us?” you continued to yell, despite the lump in your throat threatening to choke you.
>Taking a moment to recompose yourself, you stood up from your chair as your teacup glowed dimly and sat upright on the plate.
“And as I recall it was only when the flower of your ignorance came to bear its fruit, when we were far too consumed by our emotions, that you finally could no longer ignore us,” you said as you crept toward her chamber doors, “your decision was to betray us and to strip us of everything we had known and cherished.”
>You glanced behind you as you finished speaking, though this time your sister was the one to stare at her tea, and for some time you watched her.
>You don’t recall exactly how long you stood there, but eventually you let out a sigh and shook your head.
“Good night, sister,” you said as you pushed open her chamber doors and stepped out, closing them behind you.
>But of course, the moment you passed the doors threshold, you could not keep the tears from falling any longer.
>You did not care who saw you as you began to aimlessly wander around the castle.
>Though it was not entirely aimless as you had a destination in mind, it would just take a moment to remember how to find it in the labyrinth that is the canterlot castle.
>If there was any place that you still found comfort in, it was the royal gardens.
</> 2/?
>The day had not gone as expected, but it was nothing new.
>You were already stressed enough from court proceedings earlier on in the day, and you still had some legal matters to attend to.
>But with the return of your sister, and the new arrival of the so-called human, you had a lot on your plate with more stacking onto it each day.
>Speaking of that so-called human… your meeting with him so far has been unproductive to say the least.
>”I swear I wasn’t trying to do anything, we were just talking and–”
>You idly tuned him out again as he continued his long-winded apology.
>The poor thing had worked himself up into thinking you had intentions to execute him for cuddling with your sister, Luna.
>In reality you had half a mind to arrange their marriage, if how happy and content your sister looked when you found them was anything to go by.
>You smiled as you recalled the memory of last night, finding your sister genuinely smiling for the first time since you last saw her.
>The world came back into focus, you now just realized you were using the table as a pillow.
>You lifted your head up, slowly of course, as you gave Anonymous a weak smile.
“I do apologize, today has been quite tiring,” you replied as you levitated the teacup to your lips and took a sip.
>Though it made you wince as you felt the ice cold tea hit your mouth.
>As you went to take a second sip, you paused briefly and smirked at Anonymous.
“Oh, and by the way, it is Celestia.” You finished with a wink before continuing the sip.
>”Oh- I- uh, s-sorry.”
>You giggled in response as you waved your right forehoof dismissively.
“It is quite alright, Anonymous, however I do have some questions for you.”
>You had spent far more time than you had originally intended while discussing things with Anonymous.
>But now you at least had a good idea of who and what he was and what his intentions were.
>However what piqued your interest the most was how he arrived in Equestria, rather, the vague and mysterious circumstances that led to his arrival.
>In fact, it sounded like he was quite bitter about being here when he spoke.
>However until everything such as where he would go and how he would support himself, could be figured out, you had to keep him close for now.
>You had already arranged a room in the castle for him to stay with two guards to keep watch.
>It was close to both you and your sister's chambers, which might have also been intentional for how close he would be to Luna.
>Eventually you two said your goodbyes and he left.
>Now that you were finally alone, you decided to get some very much needed stress relief before you retired to bed.
>The sound of your chamber doors locking shut quietly echoed as you casually strolled to your bathroom to do some unprincesslike things.
</> 3/?
>You are lost. Wait no, Anonymous, but technically you’re also still lost.
>Despite being given directions by Sunnybu– Celestia, and an offer to be escorted to your new room, you insisted you could find it just fine.
>You were wrong, you could not find it just fine and on top of that, you even managed to find just about every other room except yours.
>Somehow you ended up outside after taking a left turn down that last hallway, it looked like some kind of garden, though it was massive.
>Unlike the pony prison, the benches out here were surprisingly big enough to accommodate you.
>A little tired from running around, you parked on a nearby bench and leaned back with your legs stretched out.
>You yawned as the fatigue set in finally, though you had some rest when you arrived, you couldn’t help but feel tired still.
>But not wanting to fall asleep outside, even if it was pleasant, you hopped off the bench with renewed energy.
>You decided to wander around a bit, though after a few minutes you had found something that pulled your interest strongly. A hedge maze that stood not too much taller than yourself.
>You spotted one of the many entrances and eagerly walked inside.
</> 4/?

(I haven't rewritten this section to be under 2950 characters yet, so I will post it in two parts.)
>What had started out to be a fun little adventure, was quickly turning annoying.
>You had gone left, straight, right, straight, left, possibly gone in circles, and continued going in what you thought were logical guesses based off of how the sky looked as you moved.
>As you turned a new corner you let out a sigh and rubbed at your temple with both hands.
>You had come across another dead end, so you quickly turned around to attempt to backtrack.
>But instead of seeing the corner you had just come around, you instead saw an eerie wall of darkness.
>If you listened closely you could faintly hear the echoes of screams.
>Though you didn’t feel uneased strangely enough, you turned back around to see if you could climb the hedge somehow.
>Now as if the wall of darkness wasn’t confusing enough, the dead end was now a long hallway that looked like it led to a square clearing in the hedge maze.
>But before you could even begin to think, your blood ran cold as the faint screaming somehow got more violent and more importantly it sounded like it was coming closer and very quickly.
>You glanced behind you, though you wished you didn’t. All you saw was the wall of darkness oozing blood as a pair of slitted cyan eyes with the right eye partially torn up stared at you.
>Another blood curdling scream rang out from the darkness, it sounded as if it was just a few feet away from you, and in that moment the wall of darkness pulsed as a skeletal hoof started poking through, signalling you to get the fuck out of there.
>You had no idea how close it was the entire time, but you ran faster than you thought you ever could.
>When you had crossed the threshold into the open field, everything changed.
>It was faster than you could even process, as if it was always there and you just didn’t see it.
>You now stood in a field of flowers, the moonlight glowing and reflecting off the flower's petals.
</> 4.5/?
>A quick study of your surroundings yielded nothing. There was no castle, there was no garden, just you in an open field of white flowers.
>You glanced up at the sky, but the only thing you could see was the moon, which was quite bright.
>Kneeling down you inspected one of the flowers, or at least tried too, the moment you plucked one it wilted up and turned to dust in your hand.
>But looking at them didn’t seem to make sense either, it looked as if the flowers were blurry, but you know for a fact it wasn’t your vision, you had looked up at the moon just fine.
>You did a slow spin in circles to look all around you, but as you reached a full rotation you now saw a massive tree some distance away from you.
>It had no leaves, and its wood was also white, though much duller and the moonlight didn’t seem to affect it.
>With nothing better to investigate, you decided to walk toward the tree.
>As you approached it, you felt the air turn to a chill rather quickly and–
>“Thou art, Anonymous, correct? ‘Tis a pleasure to meet thee.”
>The voice was familiar, but she spoke a lot differently than you were used too.
>You whipped around, only to be face to face with... Nightmare Moon?
>She looked exactly as she did the first time you saw her in the castle, though now her armor shined like it was new.
“Luna?” you questioned as you stepped back in surprise.
>She scowled, but it quickly faded as she sighed.
>”Nay, we art Nightmare Moon, though we hadst once been a part of Princess Luna.”
“So then I can assume that it was you, who was looking at me from that bleeding dark wall?”
>Now it was her turn to give you a look of surprise, but it too faded into a neutral look.
>”Nay–” She paused briefly to look around, stopping on the moon for a glance before turning back to you “–that was likely Princess Luna's rage, though given thy description of it bleeding, we can only assume it is finally dying.”
“Okay now hold on, so then who was the pony I met in the castle? And wait, what do you mean that was her rage?”
>”That was us, but in our weakness from succumbing to thy embrace, our dearest Luna severed us from her mind. However there hadst already been a connection between us when thee sat down in the lunar throne, which we used to escape to thy mind, lest we face our untimely demise.”
>Darkness began to envelope your vision as the world slowly faded from around you. You wanted to speak, but nothing came out when you opened your lips.
>”We shall speak again soon. Farewell, Anonymous.”
>You bolted up to your feet in a cold sweat and looked up. It was still dark out.
>Glancing behind you, there was the bench you sat down on originally.
>Looking around your surroundings, everything was the exact same.
>Slightly irritated, you beelined toward the direction of the hedge maze.
>You vaguely remembered where it was from your dream, and soon enough you were approaching it once again.
</> 5/5?
Couple of things to note, I have two, maybe three more parts to post and that will be chapter 2, I just figured I'd release what I have so far while I finish up the last bit of the chapter and begin rewriting it before starting on chapter 3. Because of that, some things might be a little wonky, as I had so many thoughts of what I wanted to do as I was writing this scene, so it kind of restructured a lot of my thought process.
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Yes but only Dash's mom's.
Hey, keep it up
No hags
If you wouldn't creampie Windy Whistles, you might have a case of the ghey.
oh no
But it's not lewd.
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If you wouldn't let Dash's dad fuck you in the ass while you fuck Dash's mom then you're extra gay.
you got that backwards
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Sometimes sacrifices have to be made. I don't exactly think he'd be willing to just sit back and watch.
I'm sure he'd take the other free hole in her instead. he looks breddy dtf as long as it's not dude butt
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Could you really make that work with two ponies and a human though?
"Man I love flying"
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That's why you employ a bug zapper.
She's not gonna fall for that, she's a grown pony mare. She's not a bug.
or is she
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I think you mean he's gonna GRAPE her
in the mouth
Hopefully she has her grape whistle on hand
Wrong color horse for that.
I'll bet he'll grape her parents next.
Silly Anon, it's not grape unless there's a bunch of them.
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when the doot music kicks in
Domestic abuse isn't funny, it's hilarious.
>The first year was the grieving year, I spend lots of time with Twilight, talking about life, about ponies, about my family. It was rough waking up every morning In a totally alien place with nobody(at the time) to fall onto
>The second year was much better. After my Emo phase I started to see life differently, maybe this was a new chance to live, maybe this was God's (or whatever deity is looking for me) plan, so I started living. I tried to open up more, have more conversations, being more proactive in the community and show off I learned from back home. It was a really exciting year.
>The third Year was more or less like the second one, I kept living, just living with myself and this new place and it was great. Not much time passed when I started to feel different when talking with a certain unicorn. She made me clothes, she was always so polite and caring, she was Rarity.
>It was one late afternoon I at her Home asking for prices, everything normal nothing special about that day just a regular customer. But then something happened, Apparently the wheater ponies had scheduled one big storm that day.
>"Oh no darling, I must simply insist! You can't just leave right now with that awful rainstorm!"
>Maybe it was something else but I took her offer in a heartbeat
>We talked a lot, she told me about her plans, her dreams and everything in between. I told her my fears, my aspirations, my plans
>We even joked about how this rain wouldn't end and how we will have to make a boat to travel around
>Maybe it was the muffled sounds of the torrential rain, or maybe the bottles of wine that kept piling up the more the night advanced but something happened. I felt something, something I thought I wouldn't feel again, Love
>The next morning things changed between us, we got a lot closer, we spend a lot of time together, I helped her with her work, She kept me company on rainy days and viceversa.
>It wasn't long until I asked her if she wanted to be my special one
>She said yes

Im no writefag but i want to write something I hope someone finds it interesting

>We started doing hobbies together, afterall with my newfound interest in this new world we traveled around a lot, we climbed mountains, we traveled to new places, we met new people, we ate new food, everytime I was more amazed about how rich and interesting this world truly is.
>It was a regular rainy day with rarity as always, we started joking and then something came up
>"Hey Anon, remember the first day when we kissed?, it was a day just like this one"
>She said with a really sweet tone
"I remember. It was one of the best days of my life"
>"It sure was special, Darling"
"Is there something in your mind"
>"I was just thinking about that day and about that joke we thought it was so funny, the one about living on a boat, do you remember?"
"I do remember, why?"
>"Well, Darling, We have been traveling around for quite some time now but we haven't visited the sea!, who knows how many places, isles and exciting things could be out there, Im sure you think the same!"
>That caught you off guard, you more or less were the one to suggest new places to go
>Not that you mind, you really like this side of Rarity and to be hones she was right, You would love to go to the sea
"You are right Rarity, I would like to sail with you to new and exciting places, but there is a little problem"
>"And what that would be?" She asked expectantly
"Well, I have no idea in how to sail, heh"
>"Oh but thats not problem darling, we could learn, Together!"
>"Im not saying to go right now let us prepare first, it would be like an adventure, how exciing!"
>She was making this face that she always makes trying to hold her excitement, god you love that
"I guess we could learn how to sail, any suggestions about where we could learn?"
>"hmmmmm, well not really but I can always ask Twilight!"
"I like that idea, how about we go tomorrow? Im kinda comfy right now and the rain isn't showing any signs of stopping"
>"But of course, Im too comfortable right now to go outside and get wet, you are just too comfortable"
>She always finds the way into your heart with her words
"Well, then its decided, we will become Sailors! In fact, we will become the best sailors in all of Equestria!"
>She loves when you act goofy
>"hahaha, we will also need a boat, and a name for it!"
"Well, captain Rarity, what kind of name would you like our boat to have?"
>"hmm, how about...."
>We spend the rest of the night cuddling and talking about boat names
Present day
>Its been over a year of heavy training, learning about boats, about the sea and averything sailor related
>If it wasn't for the fact that we were doing it together I could have never hoped to finish the training
>We developed a newfound love for sailing, in fact we traveled around not too far in our yatch and overall we became quite proficient with sailing.
>It has been an amazing year.

>Right now we are at the sea making our longest voyage yet, traveling from San franciscolt all the way to Shire Lanka
>Its a trip over 4000 miles long and we will have to cross the Celestian Ocean and Luna Ocean almost at its entirety
>Are we nervous? Not really, we are more excited than anything, to spend so much time alone traveling to somewhere we haven't been with only our wits and equipement to reach it
"Captain Rarity, report!"
>"Everything is just marvelous Dar- erh- I mean, Captain Anon, hehe"
"Excelent news, It seems that we will reach our destination in no time if we keep the pace"
>You two have been doing this little "Captain" Thing for a while now, it reminded you how far you two have come
>Lost in thought you hear Rarity speak
>"Well, there is something" She gets a little serious "it seems like a storm is coming our way" she gives you the telescope"
>You take a peek and indeed it seems that a small storm is closerm nothing to worry about
>"Any plans captain?"
>You think for a second
"It seems like a small enough storm im sure it will fizzle out before it even reaches out, still i think it would be a good idea to deviate a little our trajectory to avoid any problems, what do you think, Captain?"
>"What a fabulous idea, Captain! Ill make the changes right away!"
>And with that Rarity goes inside the coockpit and does the right adjustments
>You decide to stay in the raling admiring the beautiful Celestia Ocean thinking about how lucky you are
>Nothing could possibly go wrong
"Nothing at all"
Is there more or is that it?
>Nothing could possibly go wrong
>"Nothing at all"
phrases said seconds before disaster
also, hold my beer

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