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Thank god it's not made by that that CheeriMac autist
>>37287440This is what happens when you leave your mare unattended.
>>37287437I live to dab on fags
First for mares with heart eyes
>>37285307>Some weeks pass, and one by one, each egg hatches.>Anon knows this because of the alien, telepathic pull now in the back of his brain, leading back to each of the little larvae in their snug honeycombs.>A hivemind. A hivemind that he’s part of.>Lord above it startled him at first, feeling a gnawing hunger not his own one day. Bee felt it too, because she jumped and turned back to the nest while they were out for a walk in the forest, dropping the flowers she gathered to show Anon the process of making dye.>Anon’s chimera mate ushered him down to the nursery, and he knew exactly what she wanted.>He placed a hand on the cap of the honeycomb and pushed not with his body, but his emotions.>Pink bands of love diffused through the wax and silk cap easily, feeding the wriggling little larvae inside. The feeling of hunger left, and a primal feeling of love, the sort a child views a parent with, flowed back to Anon, nearly bringing tears to his eyes.>Now once a day, he goes down and feeds his children, glowing with pride as he feels them grow. If Bee is accurate, then they'll pupate and emerge as young chimeras just as spring begins.>And with the hivemind, Anon finally understands why Bee finds the idea of personal names silly. There’s no need when telepathy is easier and more accurate than spoken names. At just a few weeks old, his children are unique enough that he can tell them all apart easily.>As winter began to set in, Bee once more proves the sheer adaptability of her wild body. She’s fattened up and her fur has grown into a winter coat. She also seems to be growing up as well as out. Before, she stood as high as Anon’s belt, and now she’s eye level with his naval.>She wasn’t a juvenile, was she? Anon shakes away his own hangups. She consented to their relationship and safely laid twenty eggs, so he can’t assume things.>After months together, Bee also demonstrated her martial abilities. A beast that looked like a manticore from legends wandered close to their nest, probably seeking warm shelter.>Bee zoomed out and stung the monster in the neck before it could even react.>It roared and yowled in abject agony, thrashing as the venom in its veins killed it from inside out. In less than a minute, it fell into the snow and went still.>Anon’s lover gripped the beast’s hide in her telekinesis, then skinned it in a single, nauseating pull. She cut the skin down in her teeth and stitched it into a coat with her silk, then happily presented the gift to a wide-eyed Anon.>That was certainly one way to ward off the cold…1/4
>>37287487>The cold winter was monotonous. There was little to do besides keep one another company. Bee’s english is slowly becoming fluent, and she’s started the process of teaching Anon her tongue. Much of the cold months were spent in study. About halfway through winter, the young larvae, locked in their honeycombs, went dormant to pupate. The sudden silence where there was childish, alien emotion flowing all day was a shock to the young parents.1/4>Anon tried to go down and feed the children in their cocoons, but they hazily rejected anything he offered.>That brings them to now, the first melt as winter comes to a close.>At the entrance of the nest, Anon is busy helping Bee replace the water-logged paper-mache. The ice seeped in and expanded, breaking the pulped wood enough to let more water in, meaning a lot of useless mache that needs replaced before the water can seep in further.>Anon rips up another wet chunk of mache and tosses it into the bushes, where it lands with a wet “Splat!”. Running a finger along the remainder on the wall of the cave entrance, he smiles and nods when he finds nothing else.>A dozen yards away, Bee is crunching down on a thick limb of wood, shredding it with ease. She grumbles and trots to Anon, spitting the pulped wood out as a thin film. She tosses her head and twists her neck, giving the wall-lining its distinct swirling pattern.“That should be the last of it,” Anon nods. “After we’re done, we just have to clean out some of the lower chambers and then we’re done for today.”>Bee spits the last of the pulp out. “I hope so…” She grumbles.“Ah, and dear? Chew some mint after you’re done. I don’t like the taste of oak. I’m more of a maple guy.”>She grins and rolls her eyes, then suddenly stiffens.“Bee?” Anon blinks. “Are you-”>Then he feels it.>One of the larvae- No, not a larva any more. One of the younglings awakens. The hazy, hungry mind of the young daughter reaches out, desperate for comfort.>Both Anon and Bee sprint inside and rush down to the nursery.>The skid to a stop and watch as one of the middlemost honeycombs shakes, then a tiny hoof presses against the waxy cap. The cap crumbles, and out comes the most adorable thing Anon has ever had the pleasure of seeing.>From the honeycomb, a small bee chimera pushes her way out. She blinks her blurry golden eyes, taking in the visage of her parents with a whine. In a gesture as old as time, she reaches her little striped forelegs out at Anon.>He moves in and gently pulls the little bee from her honeycomb, holding his daughter in his arms and against his chest. He pushes his love from his skin, a shining pink so brilliant that it lights up the room. The little chimera soaks it up like a sponge, her whines quieting and her eyes fluttering shut as her stomach fills. She paws his silk shirt and rests her head over his heart, drifting off to sleep. In her dreams, her ears twitch and her dull stinger tail hangs limp.2/4
>>37287491>The whole time, Anon’s face has been stuck in a beaming grin. He looks down to his proud mate, and kneels down so she can see her daughter.>Bee’s face takes on a rare, tender expression as she runs her tongue along the youngling’s head, cleaning away bits of silk and wax. “She’s beautiful, no?”>Anon can only nod, not trusting himself to not blubber like a fool.>Then in the back of his brain, he feels another daughter begin to awaken. >Bee gently takes the scruff of the sleeping firstborn in her teeth and lifts the youngling, taking her over to the golden silk bed in the center of the nursery to free Anon for the next one. Bee settles with her daughter and gives her a proper tongue-bath, her first in this world.+_+_+_+_+_+>Over the next hour, nineteen little beelings are born, fed by their father, cleaned by their mother, and set to bed to rest after the rigors of metamorphosis.>One remains stubbornly in her cocoon, however. >From her place in the golden silk bed surrounded by her sleeping children, Bee simply shrugs. “Late bloomer.” She says. “Some of my sisters took another day.”>Anon thinks nothing else of it. He settles behind her and wraps an arm around Bee’s middle, cuddling the mother of his children close. She smiles and turns her head, catching Anon’s lips in a deep kiss.+_+_+_+_+_+>A day passes, and the stubborn cocoon remains dormant.>Then another day passes.>And another.>The younglings are much less needy than infants, but nineteen of them make for a handful to a pair of new parents. Regardless, Anon and Bee keep some focus on the final cocoon.>Then without warning, the link to the cocoon fades and vanishes.>It’s so abrupt that Anon nearly jolts into a sitting position, which would have thrown off the little beelings crawling over him.>Bee must have felt it too, because she sprints down to the nursery with wide, terrified eyes.“B-Bee?” Anon asks, a cold feeling pooling in his stomach. “What just happened?”>The nineteen younglings cease their playing, all of them feeling the shift in the air. Their big, gold eyes look between their parents with unease.>Bee schools her face into something neutral. “Anon, please take the little ones upstairs.”>He doesn’t argue further. He slowly stands, taking care to set any of the little bees crawling on him to the ground. “C’mon, girls,” He murmurs, sending them a tiny, telepathic urging to follow. It’s difficult to muster up love with the sinking feeling in his gut, but Anon lets a few wisps of pink hover around him, enticing them to follow. “Mama wants us to clear out.”>Anon picks up a few of the beelings who are too small or too afraid to brave the stairs, and walks up last to ensure none are left behind. Before the nursery vanishes from view, he looks back to see Bee peeling away the waxy cap over the last honeycomb.>Ushering his daughters over to his and Bee’s bed’s, Anon waits.3/4
>>37287494>After several minutes, Bee slowly walks up into the bedroom, her horn glowing with telekinesis. She hides what she’s carrying behind her body, and her neutral expression is so forced it looks as if she’s in pain.>She strides past and turns to the right out of the room, leading to the entrance.>In his mind, Anon knows what happened, but his aching heart refuses to accept it.>Bee returns twenty minutes later, carrying nothing and looking drained. She crawls into the bed, and all the younglings dogpile her.>She smiles, barely.Anon slides up to her side and wraps an arm around her. “Bee, my love. What happened?”>She lets out a long sigh and presses her face to his chest. “I’m sorry, Anon. I’m sorry.”>Anon gulps and feels his eyes sting with tears.>Bee shudders. “Nature… Nature takes as much as it gives. I checked her. There was no fault. Not yours, not mine. Sometimes… Sometimes things don't work.”The man looks over his little chimera offspring. Sixteen have returned to playing with each other, pouncing, cuddling, and nipping. Three of them remain with Bee and himself, nestled against their grieving parents. The sight coats Anon’s mouth with a bittersweet taste. “You didn’t have to shoulder that alone…” He says, already knowing he would have cried. He rests a hand on the head of one of the cuddlebugs still with him and Bee. She’s Eleven, the shyest of the bunch.>Eleven snuggles into the hand with a coo.>Bee scoffs, her voice wet. “Humanes may do things differently, but a father should never bury a child.”>The young parents stay together, taking comfort in each other and their children.+_+_+_+_+_+>Outside the nest and under a tall oak tree is a mound of dirt recently turned, and upon that oak tree, an inscription is carved in Equish.Here, a beautiful daughter restsChild of man, child of changelingReturned to Elysium too soonBeloved, now and forever.4/4
>>37287416don't know about you but i suddenly have a craving for ice cream and other assorted dairy products1000 hours in paint
>>37287503There goes my employment.
>>37287498Sweetness laced with a touch of bitterness. Wonderful greens, anon.
>>37287518I got a promotion!
>>37287583And I'll have to give myself a prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrromotion!
>>37287498Beautiful green, Anon. Well done.
>>37287498I did not expect the feels.I'm not crying, you are crying!
>>37287498Huh, what a bad day for rain. Any anon got an umbrella? It falling hard.
>>37287498Ow, my emotions. Very well done, Anon.
>>37287416Pone looks gay ngl
Everyone point and laugh at the fag
>>37287416dumb dyke haha look at those teats they're way too big haha what stallion would ever want to her to smother you with them. not me haha.
>>37287876Not the fag I was referring to but I love the spirit
>>37287498and now that after i just got caught up with the last thread,you done good.
Hey is that one green about preunification Equestria got a ponebin up? Cause fuck was that good
>>37288061It has a fimfic
>>37287498FUCK YOU ANON, WHY YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS!!!! Feels apart, I love what are you making, keep going
>>37288064There's not a ton of other options while ponepaste is dead, and the author picked fimfic
>>37287440As an American, I can honestly say that if Equestrian Cheese is exactly like American Cheese then Luna is gonna need her stomach pumped.
>fishermare lives on the coastline near las pegasus>one of the major providers of fish for hungry pegasi in the city>always thought of as strange for being an earth pony fishermare, but she's used to it>mildly curious about fish herself, but her passion is more the catching than the eating. after all there's nothing quite like hauling in a 200 pound leopard tuna with nothing but the right bait, a good line, and the strength of your own four hoovesi want to cook this mare fish dinner that she caught earlier in the day. she has no idea what she's missing
>>37288061Thanks for the compliment my dude. I'll start a ponepaste for it once the site's back up, but for right now I just posted it on fimfic as an alt. And I gotta agree with the anon who >fimfic'd me. People do not take kindly to my stories on that site
>>37287498Thank you NOF. You're a treasure as always.
>>37288326>people do not take kindly to my stories on that siteWhat happened?
>>37287498Fuck, just rip my heart out will you.
>>37288395Ah, don't worry about it, the like/dislike ratio isn't particularly motivating is all. I guess they don't like Second Person POV. I'm writing it primarily for you guys anyway
>>37288326That site has even more cretins than here
>>37288418Don't beat yourself up over it. Considering the shit that gets featured on the daily, those bitches got 0 taste
>>37288418I didn't like your soldier green past the first couple parts, but this one I have high hopes for.
>>37288418>I guess they don't like Second Person POVNo fucking kidding, I swear it's like they're allergic to it. As >>37288884 said, they have no taste. I learned to ignore the like to dislike ratio a long time ago when searching for things to read on there
>>37288418Also your green is really fantastic. Fight scene dragged just a tiny bit but otherwise 10/10
>>37287518>>37287583>>37288318i don't see what you anons are freaking out aboutthe filename clearly says its just a couple scoops of ice cream in a blue bowl
>>37289146That's almost exactly what the mare who flashed me at the ice cream parlor said
>>37289192Who? Minty? She's lewd like all mares are, but she'd never be that crass.
>>37287416explanation for op pic?
>>37289198>he doesn't knowhere's the sauce for the pichttps://youtu.be/McVsBG7iLaQand the sauce for the vidhttps://readgokushufudou.com/also apparantly it's being picked up by jewflix and being made into an anime.>tfw ywn be a loving house husband
>>37289146Yeah, they have a really milky way of looking at things.
>>37289203excuse me animated comic, not quite full animefor the best probably>>37289206CARLOS
>>37289198>ywn have a sweaty weeb marefriend who doesn't need to edit herself into photos with her manga husbando anymore since she's got you
>>37289239Give her big fat teats and you got my dream mare
>>37289241Oh baby, you know she's already got em
>>37289275The fattest in all Canterlot
>>37289239>Ywn make a disheveled nerdy mare believe in herself and motivate her, ywn be a sunshine that brightens up her day and her reason for getting up in the morning, ywn have someone who believed themselves to be unlovable turn into a still nervous but now more confident mare
>>37289345I've always been a fan of the "large crotchboobs are unattractive" trope, not even for horny reasons. It's another way to make the mare feel special, and that gives me a heart bonerAlso what is the optimal teat size?
>>37289661>what is the optimal teat size?https://u.smutty.horse/mcfmggcjlvc.png
>>37289661Personally speaking i have to say firm handfuls, i want to feel the weight of them in my palms and at the same time what her to feel the full sensation of someone grasping them.I can understand the appeal of XL size tiddy, but the idea of them being too big to hold just doesnt feel right to me, especially when it comes to crotchtiddy.
>>37289661Big enough to feed your foalsThere's gonna be a lot of them
>>37289689This, but it's also why I'm a fan of pones being small. The teats will be larger in comparison, which activates my ape neurons
>>37287498Has she transformed at all during all this time? Assuming these beelings can actually do that.
>>37289683>ywn be a trachers assistant to cheerilee>she will never give you private milking lessons after school>ywn marry the teacher pony>ywn make her squirm as she's attending class and you're hidden under her desk
>>37289831>>ywn make her squirm as she's attending class and you're hidden under her deskwhat would you even do, assuming they don't sit like humans
>>37289831>>37289683wtf i'm hot for teacher now!
>>37289661>Also what is the optimal teat size?Handfuls proportional to her body size. >>37289683Too big.
>>37289845me too but unironically
>>37289661big ponybig bootybig teaty
>>37289661It makes for an interesting bit of world building/culture clash, especially since it makes completely logical sense considering horse bodies.
>>37289800he did mention she "was" hurt with injuries on her legs
>>37289970>big mares [4u] that aren't slender like fleur or the alicorns are to pony society the anime equivalent to ugly bastardsmany potential keks to be had
>>37289683>https://u.smutty.horse/mcfmggcjlvc.png>the look on your face when you notice Cherey feeding the exceptionally young students that may not have a mother at home.>yfw you realize just how much she loves her students and that there is no way she is being paid enough.
>>37290027I imagine each tribe has it's own sort of beauty standard>Earth pones: big beefy musculature, the kind you get from working on the farm all day>Pegasus pones: lean muscle, like swimmers >unicorn pones: slender af and "graceful" (at least to them)
>>37290087And all 3 find big teats unattractive, to varying degrees. They get in the way of farm work, can't fly as well with 'em, and there's nothing graceful about lugging around a big pair of leakersBesides, in the old herd days the mare with the largest milky teats got the position of the house nurse. While the other mares were out providing for the herds, doing marely work, nurse mares often had to stay home and assist the stallion in taking care of the young. It was seen as a shameful position and often considered the lowest rung on the pre-unification herd hierarchy.Though it's no longer such a hard and fast rule or a well defined position, the stigma of large teats stays
>>37288911Do you have any criticisms for that particular story? It'll be continued after I post a few more preunification anon chapters. I'm always open to help improving
>>37290192>to the mares of old, being compared to a "wet nurse" was an insult
>>37290216>even innmodern day equestria, calling a mare "wet nurse" can easily rile them up and it's seen as fighting words. Despite being reduced to an insult for insulting sake, large teated mares are often deliberately compared to wet nurses in schools and workplaces
>>37290192>ywn stay at home helping one of your mares feed the kids, and after that have fun with her and her assets on the bed. Help her with milking and allI'm sure that would make the other mares reconsider the positions
>>37290231>Some dumb horse calls your marefriend that>you immidiatly roll up beside your boo and make some sultry eyebrows "Damn right she's a wet nurse! MY wet nurse, if you know what I'm sayin'."
>>37290307>Not immediately popping a teat in your mouth, moaning, and making eye contact with the rude mare as you make your marefriend quiver
>>37290316"Don't make me suck her off right here, right now. I'll fucking do it!"
>>37290327>Milking your mare in public to assert dominance
>>37287440This shit in plasic is not cheese, you filthy peasant
>>37290404American cheese is for burgers, grilled cheese, and for emulsifying really nice cheese for some bomb ass mac 'n cheese
>>37290192>>37290216>>37290231Milky mare talk reminds me: How's that atory with pyke and cut going on? I haven't been here in a while, so is it dead?
>>37290462In the words of Benjamin King, "I need you to focus on the cheddar."
>>37290467It's still going. It updated about a month ago.Its already been a month? Fuck I need to hurry my ass up
>>37290480Rushing and stressing never lead to good quality results, so don't worry about it too much. Ponebin being dead for now works as a deadline extension anyway
>>37290331>Laying on your back underneath her, teat in mouth>Arms spread out on the dirt in a T-poseIt's the only way to assure that mare leaves your waifu alone.
>>37290316>aloe and lotus' guilty pleasure is making you take their teats in (You)r moth at the same time, demanding you 'take it all'>alone either spa mare is a tasty treat, but together they create a flavor that make your taste buds sing>that and they almost drown (You) in their lust fueled haze on a couple occasions>2MMLKcaptcha knows
>>37290692M I L K E R S
>>37290404>calling Luna a peasantif she says its cheese, then its cheese
>>37290737she can also say that 2+2=5, but that doesn't make it true
>>37290756Legally, Luna is the final arbiter of what is and is not cheeseand if she wants to blind herself with a full stack of Equestrian singles in a single night, then it's cheese no matter what you Moosconsin flyovers think
>>37290756>>37290772where do you think that whole "the moon is made of cheese" thing came from?she makes her own cheese from her own milk up thereprobably got quite the stock after a thousand years
>>37290837imagine the smell
>>37290884>tfw you can try all the kinds of cheese and instead the first thing you say is about the smellAnon, I don't think we can be friends anymore.t. emmentaler enthusiast
>>37290884Uhhh how can something smell if it's on the moon!?!?!?!?
>>37290981With it's nose silly, didnt you listen during biology?Next you'll tell me you dont even know how to pick things up with hooves.
>>37290993how do you pick up things with hooves?
>>37291058The same way that Strong Bad types with boxing gloves on.
>>37291058It's simple you just
>>37291063>>37291073I don't understand.
>>37290602Tastefully proportionate is the way to go
>>37291279NO NO NO YOU CAN'T POST THATI'M IN CHARGE HERE
>>37291319You need to go back.
Futa mares lends itself better to RGRE then anything else.
>>37290605Fuck anon, you owe me a new pair of sides
>>37290197Don't remember. I'll re-read it tomorrow and let you know
I have a need for more bees
>>37291581I'm sure /trash/ has generic monstergirl threads you can peruse.
>>37291581Beelings are best 'lings.
>>37291858I bet he wouldn't even get a honeyjob if his waifu offered. What a prude.
>>37290027Literally Cut's mom.
>>37291956Truly, how could anyone forget the illustrious and sensual Suck N. Buck?
>>37291961didn't he own a business somewhere that wound up a granary?
>>37292017I'll be honest, I have no fucking idea what this means.
>>37292041Is it perhaps a Sneedpost?
>>37292047Maybe? It's a weird one if so.
>>37291956Reposting some art that dropped when the Suck N. Buck introduction dropped
>>37292073I never saw this one.That's one adorable porno, I tell ya hwat.
>>37292127And yet hundreds of weeb mares cried out in unison when they saw their favorite dojinshi was getting a Suck N. Buck adaptation.
Hapless Earthmen and busty RGR horse-women, coming...at some point after I finish the 4 projects that I promised you guys.
>>37292603I am eagerly awaiting this green coming Fall of 2023.
>>37292614It won't be that long. I'm half done with the Futa-Tempest green, I figured out the plot for the anthro/Your human and you one, and the remaining two will be finished once Ponepaste is back up.
>>37292603Maybe you'll finally write something that isn't a chore to read by halfway through the first post.
>>37292623>>37292630>>37292633Well I'm at least looking forward to all of it
>>37292638I don't know why you would.
>>37292642Cause I like 'em
>>37292645I guess there's no accounting for taste. I don't know how you read em.
>>37292650With my eyes usually
>>37292651You ought to get them checked then.
>>37292655After the green is out and I'm done reading and enjoying em
>>37292662And I'll continue to enjoy writing that doesn't suck ass. Its a shame because the topics are usually at least a little humorus, but there's just nothing to back them up besides a slightly humorus idea.
>>37292603>picIn that Anon's place I would just bluntly ask her - since i'm sure she's been pestering him about this for a while - "Do you wanna be my girlfriend?">tfw it works>tfw she's been hinting at this for weeks>tfw you are supposed to be green, not red >tfw you have no face
>>37292674You're not gonna make me think it sucks or make me stop liking what you don't like. Sorry not sorry
>>37292691I'm not trying to convince you of anything, I'm just shouting my frustration to the wind since I've been presented with a mildly convenient outlet. Thank you for your service.
>>37292697You're welcome. I'll go back to looking forward to the greens if you don't mind. Have a lovely day!
>>37292702I would have one but it is night. Good night
>>37292603>>37292608I really, really love amazonian RGRE women, I want them to step on me and also to hold me, Id be their house husband anyday
>>37291279I want this mare to drag me away and snuggle by the fire.
>>37292760With that carpentry cutie mark, I bet she could make a beautiful, cozy, and rustic house for you and her to raise foals in.
>>37292949>Anon talks to his stallion friends about how his marefriend likes to pillowfight>Stallions are horrified to learn that he is being violently abused>Caramel calls the cops>Anon bow forced to explain how it's fine and that they should let his marefriend goPonies point out to Anon that ,despite him not being hurt and his standards for abuse being different, his mare still tried to abuse him and saw had violent intentions>Mare breaks down and cries from guilt, laments how she can't control herself and it just comes out>Anon sheds a few tears, and apologizes for not seeing what she was struggling with>They hug and cry together>"I want to change... I don't want to hurt the one I love anymore..." She says>The cops let her go on the condition that she seeks help for her anger issues>She eagerly agrees>Anon sits with her for every session>Not only because they wanted someone to make sure she's making progress>Mainly he wants to support the mare he loves>He will make sure she doesn't have to through this alone>He will listen and support her as she uncovers deep seated anxieties and stress with the therapist>He will be a shoulder for her to cry on, and always tell her that everything is okay inbetween her apologetic sobs>They will get through this together, and reach the point where they will be more open about their issues to eachother>Anon wants to see the day where his love's smile is wider than it has ever been>And he will smile too
Random thought, but if the general trope for RGREquestria is that pregnancy is very easy for mares, the how are miscarriage viewed? Worse?I would imagine it would not only be devastating because they lose a foal, but also make them feel ashamed and like less of a mare.Might even make others view them as lesser mares because of it.
>>37289717>picThicc ponka is made for cuddles
>>37292603>random bits floating off of an otherwise normal humanprobably the laziest """design""", not gonna lie, but humanized in general is lazy anywayEQG at least pretends to be something different, but if you don't want to fuck a horse THAT bad you shouldn't be here
>>37293098Miscarriage is shit regardless of gender role and its usually a cheap hamfisted "Whoops the baby died feel sad now." plot device employed without any nuance.The recent bee green is an example of it done tactfully, its a sad affair but with that amount of offspring at once that kind of shit is an unfortunate part of nature and it didnt drag on for several hundred lines.
>>37293196Wait, so you're telling me I can't just shove a random miscarriage into my story and I need to handle it well? What am I going to do with my hip gamer webcomic then?
>>37290993>picwill the mares of Equestria ever escape the dread grasp of the feared Mare-Pattern-Baldness?
>>37291332no faggotry allowed
>>37292603Nice. Always looking forward to it, my friend.
>>37293289>acknowledging it>giving it attentionDon't be retarded.
>>37289661Zero because crotchtits are repulsive.>>37293185This.
>>37293583>Zero because crotchtits are repulsive.Sucks to be you, cause mares got em. But since you don't like teats I'm sure stallions are more your thing anyway
>>37293618Sorry, animal nipples don't turn me on either.
>>37293625If you don't wanna fuck horses why are you here?
>>37293625holy shit it's trenchfagi thought you got doxxed
>>37293618Really? I don't see any down there.>But since you don't like teats I'm sure stallions are more your thing anywayWhat next, saying I must want to fuck real horses because I don't like humanized?Also this >>37293625 is a different anon.
>talking to itWhy do you all take the stupidly obvious bait?
>>37293697I need context for this image.
>>37293185Right? At least monsterize them a little.Everyone knows monstergirls are patrician.
>>37294047>A crossover between eqg and that gay manga Ew, don't post such foul things, you'll make me throw up all over my keyboard.
>>37294056>the only monstergirl setting is Monster MusumeOkay retard
>>37294070Bro, did you even look at the image you posted? Don't try to call someone a retard when you are one yourself
>>37294070That image is literally based on Monster Musume though.
>>37294076>>37294079And? Monster Musume was never mentioned, just monstergirls in general.
>>37294083Okay, you still posted a picture that's a crossover between the two, and that's nasty as hell you drooling baboon
>>37293697>What next, saying I must want to fuck real horses because I don't like humanized?You don't? What are you gay?
>>37294047>monstergirls>patricianThey are literally the very bottom of the barrel.
>>37294056Here, have a harpy Dash you crybaby. And the only problem with that manga is the authors tendency to constantly cuck the main protagonist and his girls. His side chapters with different guys and girls are great.
>>37294109>The only problem with the manga is its complete trashFIFY
>>37294100You're bottom of the barrel. >>37294111Hey cry about it
>>37294056read mge then
>>37294127I have no idea what that is, don't tell me what it is though because if it has monster girls it's probably not worth reading.
>>37294130its literally rgre but with monstergirls insteadbut you have shit taste so i wont bother
>>37294140>Reads monstergirl manga>says others have shit tastegood one.
So are you two colts going to kiss at any point? Because otherwise this catfight is pretty boring.
>>37294178Uh, yeah? Duh?
>>37294035Anon has been a bad boy.
>>37294213But whycome the electric saw and the insurmountable waist-high fence?
>>37293697>>37294035description on derpy:Description:This is actually a redrawn version of a drawing I did nearly one year ago. The idea was that ponies running on cartoon logic wouldn’t always solve a problem the most logical way. There’s many things going on in this pic that could solve the princesses problems and get Anon in deeper problems.Anyways, that’s one powerful fence>captcha WWPMP>Who Would Princes Molestia Penetrate?
>>37293697>picWe don't often talk about breakups in this thread. >something something friendship is magic>something something love makes ponies do crazy things>something something there was that one prompt where being in love was like having the blinders lifted off, allowing ponies to act rationally>something something Celestia is a very powerful being>something something her love is very powerful as well>something something breaking up with her causes her to fall back into irrationality>something something such a high fall causes her to sink even deeper into irrationality>something something the loss of clarity is devastating to Celestia's mental health>something something cue irrational behaviour>something something Luna loves her sister and Anon (platonically, since she thought he was going to be her future brother-in-law) and this conflicting loyalty causes her to act irrationally as well>something something anon bounces between scooby doo chase sequences and "I promise not to break your legs again">something something rgreim the best
>>37294436Because that's his "room". He's allowed to have it and they technically give him some privacy, but sometimes they have to assert their royal authority.>>37294463>Who Would Princes Molestia Penetrate?What the hell kind of question is that? You some sort of idiot? The answer is obviously (You).
>>37294501>Because that's his "room". He's allowed to have it and they technically give him some privacy, but sometimes they have to assert their royal authority.>"Anon! I'm respecting your privacy by jangling the chained gate, but asserting my authority as your waifu by chainsawing it open anyway!"
How do mares react when hearing there friends are into coltdom is it common uncommon is it socially acceptable or not. And how would they react if there princess where into coltdom
>>37294562>"That sounds pretty gay."
>>37294562>How do mares react when hearing there friends are into coltdomThey'd probably make fun of the mare for it. The princesses being into coltdom would likewise probably be a massive scandal.
>>37294047>this shit againYeah no, I remember how those greens went.
>>37294562They'd get called dykes, and the princesses would get called giga-dykes before 8being banished.
>>37294463>>Who Would Princes Molestia Penetrate?She'd penetrate all the anons that show up, and keep the one she likes the most.
>>37294603Gee I hope it's me
>>37294494>Something something shut the fuck up.
>>37294666why are you so mean to me, the devil?
>>37294666Based as fuck
>>37294494All I'm getting out of this is that being in a relationship with Celestia would unironically be the bestia.
>>37294713>Celestia>when Luna is right there, clearly desiring your attentionBut why? You're going for a strictly inferior choice.
>>37294494Do none of you have an ounce of comic talent? I get >something something rgre is the joke but jokes aren't funny when they're being run into the ground.
>>37294768I mostly make my jokes funny by making people's pants fall down, or by having someone get hit in the groin with a football. This "something something" post was actually the first in a 4-part series of posts that were going to lead up to someone getting hit in the groin with a football (after their pants fell down), but I just revealed the joke to you and now it won't be funny, so I won't post the other parts.
>>37294781I could see that working so I'll put you on funny probation instead of banning you. Of course, we expect you show your progress at next week's stand-up hearing. I'll see you then.
>>37294768It was never really a joke; it's unironically an attempt to distract from the fact that the writer of a particular post couldn't even bother to think it all the way through and just plopped in some quarter-assed filler text.
>>37294803Thank god, I can't go back to pun-jail again. I made some enemies there when I tricked two convinces into stealing calendar; they each got 6 months. >>37294808It's like you really know me.
>>37294647You and me both Anon
>>37294864Pick your socks up, APA.
>>37295214Dis nigga under his bed!
>>37294713>Luna has specklesI wouldn't be able to keep my hands off her.
>>37294864>I made some enemies there when I tricked two convinces into stealing calendar; they each got 6 months.Goddamnit APA
>>37295478>Luna isn't fond of her white speckles.>Tell her that personally loving and accepting every """fault""" on a female partner's body is an important human courtship ritual.>Luna is too formal to turn it down>Enjoy her squirming and blushing as you kiss every single speckle, including the ones between her hindlegs.
>>37295478>>37295527Freckled Luna is the cutest LunaSo is Celestia with sunspots
>>37295624i wonder if luna has a constellation of freckles outlining her womb
>>37295714>She can tell whether your foal will be a boy or a girl depending on which constellations are visible over her belly
>>37295752>While going down on Luna you spot a constellation upon her marebits>"Oh hey! I recognize that one?">"Really?! Your kind had that constellation aswell?">"Yeah we called it Virgo">"Strange name. Prithee, do tell me what that means">"Virgin, I think">Luna cries
>>37295802And now it's time for you to turn your turbo-virgin loser daughter into the Trixie she was always destined to be.
>>37295847I thought the marks would mean that luna's the virgin. Like, imagine a tattoo above your dick that advertises your virginity
>>37294140where can I read it?
>>37295922everyone laugh at luna the permavirgin
Do you think ponies fetishize male dragons considering that they come with two dongs and easy to bribe with food?
>>37295933>>37295922>>37295802>even when getting the ol' lickaroo Luna is still a virgin
>>37295940>Impregnate Luna>Foal is revered as the holy messiah and the daughter of God, since Permavirgin Luna still remains a sexless virgin even after you fuck her several times, making your daughter's birth be considered immaculate conception
>>37295967Pone Jesus by technicality
>>37295940Well she didn't score before going on the moon, too edgy. She didn't score on the moon, too alone. She didn't score after the moon, too out of touch. Then (you) come along and wanna frick the 1000+ year old virgin. Imagine thinking that the princess has ti have had at least one coltfriend in the past thousand years, only learn of her virginity from her freckles spelling it out for you in her crotchI'd cry too if that were me
Alright I gotta know, what is considered as the best RGRE story? Not subjectively, but what is objectively the best RGRE work of fiction out there??
>>37295478>>37295527>>37295624>freckleshnnngh>>37295802>>37296008>self-conscious about her lack of romantic lifeHNNNGHLuna is just the gift that keeps on giving.
>>37296030ur mom lol
>>37288418Your Preunification Anon fic got featured on Fimfic, congrats!
>>37296098>Luna is self-conscious about her love life>Figures she's old enough that she needs to think of producing an heir>Or at the very least, old enough to have actually kissed a colt>"Prithee, We need to nurture our silver tongue's skills.">And no, that does not mean learning how to give a stallion the ol' lick-a-roo>But who can she practice on?>Not a commoner, because that could cause a scandal.>Not with a guard, since that would undermine the authority of the entire guard structure.>Not with her sister, despite what several ponies whose dreams she's visited reques->Wait!>That's it!>Of all the creatures whose dreams she's visited, only one has consistently NEVER remembered his dreams>Her friend, Anon>He'd been staying at the castle ever since he arrived in Equestria, and they've been pretty good friends ever since they bonded over staying up late and reading horse-manga>And if he never remembers his dreams... then he won't remember if she goes in and kisses him a bunch.>" 'Tis the perfect crime.">And so, Luna begins to visit Anon's dreams>During which, she spends her time practicing kissing with Anon>With each dream, she gets better>After a while, she begins to even throw in woo-ing attempts and one-liners to see what works>Cheesy shit; "are those moon pants, because that ass is out of this world" sort of stuff>As expected, Anon does not remember anything that transpired during their nightly trysts>It leaves a bitter taste in her mouth that she is doing this to such a nice colt when he cannot disengage, but she figures that it's harmless because Anon doesn't even remember it.>Until he does.>With every visit to Anon's dreamscape, Anon remembers more and more of his dreams>It's slow going at first.>Luna even takes it slowly at first, giving him interesting dreams and quizzing him in the morning to see if he remembers them; it does not>It takes some time for her influence to start making him remember his dreams, and by the time he does Luna is already confident that he won't recall a single thing.>And so, maybe a month or two after Luna begins to visit him on an almost nightly basis, Anon is plagued by a string of dreams where he and Luna make out>She nibbles on his lip and his ear>Whispers sweet nothings into his ear that make his heart melt and his face heat up>Snuggles with him and pets his hair>Belly rubs>Anon has no idea what to do. >If he confronts Luna and it turns out these are just normal dreams that she has nothing to do with, he'll lose his best friend.>One morning, at the dinner table, Anon accidentally repeats a line he said during last night's dream with her>"You like my space-pants?">Luna (who was in the process of trying to figure out how to eat a pineapple), freezes>Their eyes lock>Both look panicked>Luna proceeds to run away and hide under her bed until Celestia can convince her that she won't go to jail for dream-raping a colt
>>37295922>tattoo above your dick that advertises your virginityThat's what we call a self-fulfilling prophecy
>>37296371Perfect. But please stop. I can't handle this. She's too adorably awkward. imma die of beetus
>>37296030People will get mad, but the answer is unironically Xenophilia.
>have all the LS plushes>actually get green in their respective general>have to see them in rgreee, tooSTUPID MOONFAGS
is sunn ded?
>>37296464>picI'm too retarded to find it myself, who made that?
>"We art aware, fair Anonymous. 'Twas done on purpose."
>>37296371>Luna gets knocked up in a dream by anon>it carries over to real life>permavirgin luna has a foal but still hasn't had sex
>>37296612>>permavirgin luna has a foal but still hasn't had sex>"'Tis horseshit of the highest order, Anonymous. We art to be a mother, and yet not a single colt has given Us the ol' lick-a-roo.">>37296620Perfect, thank you very much!
>>37296611After getting into space stuff this has always been something that's plagued me. Are there super advanced aliens out there that have rearranged entire star clusters into their version of goatse but we simply haven't noticed because we don't know what their biology is like? I sure hope not. It would be a shame if we got beat to the punch.Also does Luna like to send not-so-subtle messages via constellations?>Luna can control constellations>makes one that looks like her>makes one that looks like Anon>has them sometimes conveniently always overlap in a way that makes it looks like they're bangingAnd how long would it take for other ponies to notice that something was odd in the night sky?
>>37295927/jp/ has a constant monstergirl thread up at all times.
>Anon's not really sure how it happened, but he has become the Town Dad to a bunch of little pastel equines>It started with little fillies asking him for advice about pursuing their "cutie marks">No real idea what a "cutie mark" is, but it sounded like life advice, so he gave it the good old college try>EverythingWentBetterThanExpected.png>Eventually, grown mares started asking him for help with everything from career advice and herd management to handling their husband's latest bout of impulse buying>But one thing still bothers the ponies>Anon is single>It's not right for the colt who has become their unofficial town dad to be single>Now they're trying to hook him up with Equestria's most eligible National Mom: >Princess Celestia
>>37296595Every thread you ask pushes his return back another thread.
I WANT BIG TEATY TEEN GOTH PONE GF
>>37296847Yes we know, we know
>>37296847don't we all?
(Continued from >>37284587 )>”Pardon me, lord Anonymous, but would it be too rash to ask you a favor?”>Your vacant gaze shifts to the white unicorn sitting across from you. Lucky Favor’s own eyes immediately snap down to the campfire, as if she hadn’t been the one who just interrupted your thoughts and dragged you back into Equus. Her ears are glued forward, but after a few seconds of some human-specialized scrutiny they start flicking this way and that, playing it off like she was just listening to the symphony of nocturnal life the whole time.>You give an affirming grunt as your gaze returns to the campfire. >A few stutters and verbal missteps later, and you’re on the verge of giving her a less polite grunt until Lucky Favor finally speaks. “Would the gentlecolt allow me to illustrate him?”You blink, unsure of how to respond, before saying the first words that come to mind. “Stop talking like that.”>”Oh!” Lucky titters, suddenly finding her mane very strokable right now. “My apologies. I mean-- I’m sorry, Anonymous. I tend to do that when I’m nervous. Which I’m not. I’m very comfortable with you around. So… good job. Oh, drat, I just combed my mane!”>You hum in amusement before your attention turns back to the campfire. Its crackling embers, coupled with the nocturnal buzz of the night start to send you back into the nothingness of waiting for the two ponies to fall asleep. >Tia’s sudden explosion of giggles from the other side of camp, snapping you out of your progress, is a good encapsulation of your success.>”Tia, that’s not food!” Lucky Favor yawps as she launches from her sitting log. >You jolt from the quick movement. Your fingers snap to fists. However, as Tia’s giggling turns into squealing laughter, your body relaxes. You sigh at the familiar hum of a certain filly being telekinetically lifted and turn your head to the stars above.>There was a time you’d spend hours lost in the wondrous, flawless night sky of Equus. You’d wonder, if you were pulled into that sky, how far up would you go? You’d try to put what you saw into words – stars, galaxies, comets, technicolor dust, a whole slew of ethereal bodies you didn’t even know the names of – you’d run out of words, you’d just lose yourself in its beauty, and you’d start all over again. Now, though, your mind can only think of one word: stars.>It’s a starry sky, is all it is. It’s gonna be a long night.>”…So can I?”>Damn. You were hoping she would be too embarrassed to bring it up again, or would at least keep it to herself for the night. It looks like she wants to do this, and you know how mares can be when they want something. Besides, this might just mellow the mood enough for her to grow tired.You raise your hands in surrender. “Sure.”
>>37296961>”Oh, thank you so much!” Lucky Favor glows as her horn follows suit, washing the site in a cyan-and-orange luminance. Her bag floats to her side before being plundered by her hooves. “Did I ever tell you I drew, Anonymous? You never got around to asking me about my interests, and I’ve been dying to draw something I’ve had in mind since last night.”>A less encumbered you wouldn’t have missed the opportunity to embarrass the mare with her easily pervertible statement. The current you only scowls as the gashes and bruises on your body ache even brighter at the memory. >Or it could be that the stitches in your arm ripped again. You’re not a doctor.>You’re also not letting Lucky Favor ever touch you with a needle, no matter how much education she says she has in medical sewing.>Something warm and furry touches your arm.>Your vision snaps to the collision site but is suddenly engulfed by a pink mane. The babbling and giggling confirm it as the filly in your arms explores the bibs and bobs of your armor. “I don’t like kids,” you sigh as your hands cradle Tia carefully. She responds by staring at your fingers, letting out a quiet, “/oowaaaahhhh…/”>Lucky Favor’s eyes go wide over her cyan-enveloped notebook. “Y-you don’t?” she questions. The sincerity in her voice mellows whatever sudden defensiveness possessed you. “But how you fought over her last night…”>You glare at nothing in particular. You still don’t exactly know what happened in that tavern once you had a hold of Tia. At first you were enraged at Lucky for even thinking you were an adequate choice to protect the filly; she was trying to get in your mind, you were sure of it in that moment. So why did you not only still fight, but fought… frankly better than you ever had, both on Equus and at your gym back on Earth?>You would’ve rather died in that fight than had to have worked for Red Letter again. >…Fuck. You owe Lucky Favor your life, don’t you?“Whatever,” you mumble, wrapping your arms around the filly in your lap. Tia’s horn glows and you feel the familiar tingling of magic failing to affect your body. She tilts her head in confusion as she tries to envelope your finger once again.>”Whatever…?” Lucky leans forward questioningly, and you bite down the urge to snap at her.“Whatever, fine. Draw me and the tyke already.”>That weird squeaky toy noise comes from Lucky again as she hastily gets to work. Unfortunately, the silence doesn’t last long, as she soon pipes up from behind her notebook, “It’s so good that Tia has a male influence like you around.”You slowly raise an eyebrow. Of course, it does nothing useful until Lucky eventually peaks from her drawing once again to see your confusion. Meanwhile, Tia has switched to using her hooves to grab one of your fingers. You make no move to pull away. “You just met me,” you remind before Lucky returns to her drawing.
>>37296966>”Well, yes, but you’ve been nothing short of a proper gentlecolt since then!”>You might have hit her harder than you’d meant to last night. Nevertheless, you sigh, paying no mind to anything as the minutes tick by.However, God has a mean sense of humor, with an emphasis on dramatic irony. Soon the curiosity of her statement takes root, then the questioning with no clear answers begin, and then the nagging feeling gnaws at your brain, before finally it’s yourself who breaks the silence. “Why are males treated so differently around here?”>”/maaaaaaylz,/” Tia giggles, her voice slurred with exhaustion.>”Hm?” Lucky Favor hums as she tilts her head from behind the notebook.“I don’t think I’ve seen a stallion not surrounded by mares since I got here,” you explain, careful not to jostle Tia as she begins to doze off. “Back at the tavern, there was this sign; ‘no horn, no hilt no service.’ I’m assuming by ‘hilt’ they mean dick.—”>”Language, mister!”“I’ll talk however the fuck I want.”>The scribbling of Lucky’s feather slows to a crawl. Her hindlegs draw ever so slightly closer to each other as she almost shrinks behind her notebook. Her voice is a quiet whimper. “Sorry, sir…”Your eyes study the mare for any sign of dishonesty, but you find none. You sigh loudly enough to get her attention as the prickles of hostility leave your system. “That was rude of me,” you mumble. “You didn’t deserve that.”The scribbling of Lucky’s feather resumes, although this time it’s slower, more cautious. You snort, hoping to change the subject. “Even at Free Valley,” you recall, earning an attentive ear from over the book. “They changed their entire demeanor when I started talking. They started treating me like royalty, or something.”>”Well, all stallions /should/ be treated like royalty,” Lucky Favor muses.>>/Am I a fucking charity case?/>You shake your head, and the stray thought is gone just as quickly as it came. When your attention is back on Lucky Favor, though, you notice the scribbling of her feather has stopped dead. >In fact, her entire body seems to tense up before she slowly lowers the notebook. When her cyan eyes finally met yours, she whispers, “…Y-you deserve to be treated like royalty, Anonymous.”>And there you two are, staring at each other over the campfire. Lucky Favor’s eyes brim with a determination that leaves you befuddled. And you, being befuddled. The two of you continue the impromptu staring match for… an amount of time you’d rather not discern.>Long enough for Tia’s snoring to snap you both out of it.“You’re weird,” you finally say. >The blush on Lucky’s cheeks burns so bright you’re worried she might set her notebook ablaze as she buries her face in it.
>>37296971>Your knee bounces slowly as Lucky Favor goes to town on that notebook. You’d be lying to yourself if you said you weren’t the tiniest bit curious how her drawing will turn out. You remember back to Free Valley Carpentry, when she had gotten flustered trying to explain the minutiae of the wagon she wants for the journey to the dockyard. After a few technical words she didn’t know the meaning of were sent her way by the carpenters, she took out her notebook and started drawing the wagon of her dreams as a blueprint. It was accurate and detailed enough to draw a crowd of both carpenters and customers. >As your thoughts play with Free Valley Carpentry, you’re tempted to ask Lucky Favor about another occurrence that you had been wondering about. She had told you—no, /insisted/ that you did not, under any circumstances, call her “Faust” when there were other ponies around. “Ponies of these… /acclimations,/” were the words she used. Was it some kind of… /nomencultural faux pas/?>When you turn back to Lucky, though, the question fades from the tip of your tongue to the back of your mind. She’s sticking her tongue out in concentration, her eyes inches from her canvas as she tries to get the exact measurement of something perfectly. The fire crackles peacefully, the filly in your arms lets out a faint giggle in her sleep as she digs deeper into your chest, and the nocturnal life seems to blossom once again within the silence.>A sudden movement from above catches your attention, but you don’t flinch this time. It’s a comet, trailing across the ethereal canvas of the night sky. It blinks past the uncountable asterisms of stars, seems to cut through the limbs of a galaxy you can only guess is your own, and disappears into a nebula’s whirlwind of colors.>And then, when you feel as if your eyelids are getting heavier, Tia mumbles a word that makes it all stop.>”Dadda.”>>/You’re not a fucking charity case./“We’re done, Faust.”>Lucky finishes whatever line she had painstakingly been making before her eyes peek out from over her notebook. “Pardon me?”Your heartbeat booms over Lucky’s voice. The crickets’ and bats’ calls morph and settle into a high-pitched ringing from far away. And for a split second, you swear Lucky Favor’s face morphs into that of a woman’s. “I said we’re done,” you murmur as the world turns from your standing. “Stop drawing.”>Lucky Favor’s eyes snap to something at your feet, return to you, and repeat while her mouth opens and closes like a dying fish. You limp around the campfire to arrive by her side. As the words finally come to her, she sets the notebook down on the log. “But I wasn’t done yet, Anonymous! And why would you drop Tia?!”
>>37296976>Instead of responding, you snatch the notebook from its perch. You’re careful not to look at whatever Lucky Favor drew as you rip the sheet out of the book. You don’t even feel the paper cut as it draws a red line on your finger. You don’t feel the crisp night air, the comely warmth of the fire. You feel a pounding in your head, a pain in your chest, and the pressure of something around your neck.>”/Anonymous!/” Lucky yells, panic wavering her voice as she magics a dazed Tia to her side. Once the filly is secure, she jumps off the log, but it’s too late.>You toss the notebook back at Lucky, crumple the drawing into a tight ball, and drop it into the campfire.>”/ANON!/” she screeches, and your entire body twitches at the name. “Don’t you /FUCKING/ call me that!” You know for sure you saw that woman in Lucky’s face now.>”/W-WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!/” Lucky stammers as she leaps towards the campfire before immediately reeling back from the heat. “/I THOUGHT I HAD YOUR PERMISSION!/”“Since when did my permission matter?”>Lucky Favor is hyperventilating.>You fight so hard for her ragged breath to not transport you back to Earth, echoing off the hospital corridors, coming from your own throat.>”I’m sorry about what happened to you!” Lucky says. >She’s apologizing.>She’s putting you in the spotlight.>She’s making this about Red Letter. >“A-a-and I want to help! Please, just tell me what I did wrong!”>She did nothing wrong.>She doesn’t know better.>She doesn’t deserve this.>Somewhere, in the back of your enraged mind, you know that she means well.>You could tell her.>You could tell her everything. You could tell her how your last five days on Earth broke you. You could tell her how you were denied your family, and how both your own and that woman’s family supported it. You could tell her about how you still feel the crushing sensation of the noose around your neck before you go to sleep. You could tell her all of this, and she would comfort you, and you would finally feel safe in this new, unfamiliar world.>But then, she’d be just like Red Letter.>So instead of telling her, you turn to the hardest surface in the vicinity, rear back your leg, and use every muscle in your body to drive your leg into it./KK-RACK!/
>>37296981>The sound of your bad leg slamming into the log echoes throughout the campsite like a gunshot. You buckle over onto the log and try everything. You tense every muscle in your body. You clench your teeth and ball your hands into fists so tight they’re practically glowing in the dark. You bask in the boiling rage and shut yourself out from outside stimulus. >But regardless of how hard you try, the pain always comes.>You can feel a warm liquid trailing down from your shin to your ankle. You’re not sure if the crack came from the log or your knee, but it sure feels like it came from the hollow hole in the middle of your leg. You stumble as you stand to your full height; you’ve lost all feeling in your toes.>From the sound of hoofsteps, you know Lucky Favor would help you if you fell. >But then, what else would she feel was acceptable to “help” you? What else would she do to make you “comfortable,” to “open up” to her, to “let it all out?” What else would she be bold enough to do for the sake of “making you feel good?”>You don’t give the mare at your side an opening. Not this time. Never again.“I need some air,” you mumble before you start walking. Before you can be consumed by the forest, Lucky Favor pipes up from your side,>”Where, pray tell, will the lord be off to?”You sigh. You’ve lost count of how many times you’ve told her to stop calling you “lord.” Still, her nervous lilt keeps you from lashing out at her again. She almost sounded like she was talking to a cornered animal just then. “For a walk.”>The hoofsteps by your side cease. Before you’re free to limp to your heart’s content, Lucky Favor parts with one final whisper. “Come back soon, okay? And don’t dawdle near the precipice!”>When you’re finally alone in the woods, you feel as if your lungs have been opened for the first time.>There’s still the residual shaking from your outburst, in your fingers and on your face. But the pain in your leg helps to distract yourself, somewhat. It isn’t until you’re not only out of eyeshot, but also earshot, of the camp that your body forces you to lean up against a tree, unable to stand. >You can’t stop your animalistic yowl of pain before it tears through the forest.>Tears fall, now that you’re alone. You’re not sure if you’re sobbing, or crying, or just standing there, but you do know that tears fall. The world blurs, the back of your throat stings, and you hear the faint /plip… plip…/ of drops landing on the leaves below. >Don’t give her an opening, Anon. Not to any mare. Never again.>You use this moment of stillness to breathe. In and out, you tell yourself, in and out. You’re unwilling to collapse onto the ground. You push what Tia called you out of your mind, and replace it with more urgent matters.>Like how you immediately crumble when you put an ounce of weight onto your right leg.>Fuck!
>>37296986>You hiss as you rotate your body into a sitting position. You reach down and pull up your pant leg to study your leg for the first time. Not an inch of peach skin shines back to you in the darkness. Everything is either purple or red.>You slowly get to work, clawing your way up to your left foot. You start limping through the forest in your search for a branch of optimal size. You’re tempted to just settle for a walking stick, as a splint would work as a makeshift cast, but it’d be hard to take off. After all, you won’t be much of a housecarla if you can’t even /intimidate/ your lady’s attackers, would you? >Not only that, but Lucky Favor would have a persistent reminder that you’re injured.>Vulnerable.>A walking stick would be much easier to hide from not only your potential opponents, but your lady as well. She’s proven herself to not be able to keep her hooves to herself when it comes to your injuries. Jesus, and /you’re/ supposed to be /her/ bodyguard.>…>>”Why did you take this job in the first place?”>That’s the question which pervades your mind as you gather the branches, twigs, and leaves needed. You had quit the housecarlatel business after… the Taskmaster got too personal. Freelance bounty hunting was much preferable. Criminals were easy to subdue when they were roundhouse-height quadrupeds with serious reservations about hurting a male, and you had the privilege of working alone. The only downside was the pay.>”Ah, that’s it. I took this job because of the pay,” you answer yourself, but it runs out of steam mid-way through. No, that’s /not/ it. You have to sit on the ground to gather some twigs from the base of a large, grey tree.>”It was the mystery,” you try, but that doesn’t make sense. You couldn’t care less why Lucky Favor is traveling across the ocean to a land full of bandits, Timberwolves, and draconequusi, even after she refused to explain. You grunt as you cut yourself pulling loose a low hanging branch from its sappy abode.>”It was away from Plumsteed,” you remind yourself.>…Huh. That’s not it either. It’s true, the reason for accepting her offer was because you’d be getting away from Plumsteed /before,/ but even as you’re only just off the outskirts of the city, you don’t feel the least bit concerned by the place. >As you finish wrapping the thick leaves into proper string, you decide that’s enough dwelling on thoughts.>Your Eagle Scout leader sure as Hell didn’t follow you to Equus, so you’re free to make your ungodly hybrid of a splint and walking stick sans God-fearing scrutiny. It’d be easy to slip off and hide when the time calls for appearing big and scary, and would be your best bet for a safe recovery. You’ve had these kinds of injuries before, back on Earth. You estimate your leg would be in walking shape by the time you reach Equestria.>Provided there are no delays.
>>37296991>You take a quick few minutes to situate yourself. You can see the absence of trees caused by the cliff’s precipice that way… so camp should be the opposite direction.>The trek back to the camp site isn’t quite enough to completely break in your weird, logs-and-leaves splint, but it does prove its maneuverability. The orange glow of the still-burning campfire momentarily freezes you, and you wonder if you’d be better off waiting a bit longer for Faust and Tia to fall asleep. But when you hear the loud, most unladylike snoring coming from the far side of the camp, you know it’s safe to enter.>You limp into the camp, aimed squarely at your makeshift cot, only to find that it is… no longer makeshift.>The pile of leaves on grass has been changed –no, /renovated into/– what had to be a floral replica of a king’s sized bed. The two logs by the campfire had been used to create the frame, and it looks like the many barren tree branches around you had donated their leaves to make the rest. You half expect it to collapse when you poke it with a finger, as if it was just a hollow replica, but the bed holds firm.>Firm’s the wrong word. It is… /scarily/ soft. You expected it to be dry, or crinkle under your touch, but the leaves of the blanket are sown together so tightly it may as well be a fabric quilt.>Your eyes are tracing the boreal work of art when you notice a neatly folded piece of paper lying in the center of the bed. You lean over the to pick it up – holy fuck, you wouldn’t mind collapsing right now – and realize it’s a note. Two guesses who it’s from.>…Nevermind, one guess. The text is written in a cursive so decorative you have to remind yourself it’s Ponish in the first place.>”This fine structure has been thaumaturgically produced by the most generous donors of the forest and the skill only an uppercastemare may possess, putting even the most educated earth ponies to shame. Be not afraid, for despite its magical roots, your bed remains sans ambient magic. Therefore, it shan’t collapse under your weight. Natch, not to say that the lord is in any way abdominous; his figure is as muscular a----”>That’s all you can make out before Lucky had vigorously etched out whatever she was about to write. On the bottom of the note, however, lies one sentence, devoid of cursive.>”I’m sorry. Can we talk tomorrow?”>She’s the one apologizing to you.>You frown before dropping the note back onto the bed. You’re already tired enough. You can just sleep on the dirt.>You snatch a pillow off before finding a particularly soft patch of grass. After that, you lie down, propping your leg onto the pillow before your gaze drifts up into the night sky once again. You’re almost about to feel the tiniest bit tired, too, until you hear a noise.>”/naw-naw-naw…/”
>>37296995>You sigh, resigned to another hour of staring up into the night sky. Today has been full of surprises. Why not add the revelation that Tia is a late sleeper to the pile.>Tia’s babbling continues, interrupted with spontaneous giggling at what you can only assume to be the smallest of things. Your gaze is glued to the night sky. Maybe if she thinks everyone else is asleep, she’ll follow suit.>That’s your thought process, until you hear her utter something that makes your blood run cold.>”/widdle sun…/”>You bolt upwards to see Tia staring dangerously close the campfire, smiling as she reaches a hoof into the flames.“/Filly!/” you shout, making Tia jump. Her magenta orbs snap to yours. They’re devoid of tears and she’s putting equal weight on all her legs. Good, she didn’t burn herself. Still, you slowly raise one finger to the mischievous filly. “/Go to sleep./”>Tia takes a few steps away from the campfire, but her eyes remain glued to you. You keep up the intensity of your glare in response.>Mission failed. Tia suddenly bursts into giggles before bouncing in your direction. “Naw-nee!” she squeals.>You don’t feel an ounce of panic at the nickname. “/Hey,/” you warn, accentuating your raised finger. Tia skids to a halt, well away from the fire, but dangerously close to the play zone. She seems to only look at you for a few seconds, her magenta eyes glowing in the dark as she studies your finger, then your face, then your leg. You hold onto those last, fleeting hopes that she’d just fall asleep if you don’t encourage her.>But then, she smiles.>It’s a slow, mischievous smile; the kind your racist cousin would wear at family reunions, moments before all Hell break loose at the dinner table.>”Naw, naw naw…” she snickers, lowering herself to a predatory crouch, wiggling her rump in the air.Your finger steadily shifts targets from the sky to the filly in front of you. “/Tiaaaa,/” you growl, narrowing your eyes into what you hoped would trigger her prey instincts. “No play. Sleep.”>Tia doesn’t respond as her tail lashes left to right. You don’t know if it’s your mind playing tricks in the dark, but you swear you see her eyebrows give a prankish wiggle.“You oppose /me,/ little filly?” you jeer lowly, raising to a sitting position to raise both hands. “They call me the Kung Fu Monkey. You wouldn’t dare—”>Tia attacks.>Actually, Tia stumbles at you and cries a war cry that wouldn’t intimidate a chipmunk.>You respond to her dastardly stumbling in kind, reaching out and grabbing the filly. She squeals as you hoist her above your head, flailing her hooves as her wings flap in the air. You’re surprised to feel the deceptively powerful gusts of wind those tiny wings produce.>”Dadda!”
>>37296710>Also does Luna like to send not-so-subtle messages via constellations?
>>37297001>You snap out of whatever useless mindset had just possessed you.>Tia stays suspending in your hands, giggling madly for a while, until she notices that you’re no longer smiling. You slowly lower the filly to the ground.“I don’t like kids,” you tell yourself more than to her. What you say next, though, is directed solely at her. “And I’m not your dad.”>The moment Tia’s on the ground she’s staring at you once again. She blinks owlishly at your words. Of course she doesn’t understand you. Why would she? ”naw-naw!” she suddenly beams, before jumping once again. She lands in your lap, but is only there for a moment before you hoist her up again.“I’m serious,” you say sternly, this time to her face as you hold her still. “I’m your housecarla until we reach Equestria. Then you’ll never see me again.”>You’re not sure if it’s the tone in your voice, or if she really can understand your words, or if it’s some Astrological, spiritual bullshit that enlightens her, but Tia seems to finally get the message. Her wide eyes turn away from your own as she scrunches.>You quickly reposition Tia on the ground. She slumps on the grass with a soft /pomf!/, her head hanging low.“Ready to go to sleep, little miss?” you ask, crossing your arms.>For some time Tia doesn’t respond. She doesn’t even cry or sniffle, which is what you’ve been preparing yourself for. Instead, she suddenly stamps a hoof on the ground before giving you a glare.>”naw-nee, aaaaaah!”>And with that, she flares her wings before taking off like a bullet. Your brain is too shocked to register just how /fast/ that filly was that it takes a moment to realize a bigger problem. She didn’t take off into you, or towards Faust.>She took off into the forest.“/TIA!/” you shout. You’re immediately on your feet -- /foot/ -- and limping after the impossibly quick filly. Two steps and you realize that won’t do, so you’re hopping on one leg, using your arms to launch yourself off whatever trees you pass.>The thought of calling out for Faust doesn’t even cross your mind as you’re speeding through the forest. Tia is nowhere in sight now, so you have to rely on the needle of carnage through the forest she made. Jesus fuck that filly can fly fast. Are all weird, unicorn-pegasi ponies this quick?>As you run, though, you start to notice a few things.>You pass a large, grey tree, devoid of twigs at its base. There’s that stain of blood from where you cut yourself. A few leftover leaves are scattered across a barren piece of grass. And, as you continue forward, you start to notice a distinct lack of trees in the distance.>That little shit /better not have./>You continue to tear through the forest until you see Tia’s unmistakable white coat between the trees. “/TIA, YOU LITTLE SHIT, YOU BETTER NOT HAVE--!/”
>>37297007>The filly squeaks as you come barreling through the trees. Now without any more means of velocity, and the fact that the cliff’s precipice is right there, you skid to a halt before lopsidedly falling to one knee. >Tia, though, is immediately back in bitch mode.>”naw-nee, aaaaaah!” she repeats as she jabs a hoof in your direction.“I don’t know what the /fuck/ you’re talking about,” you pant, pulling a stray twig out of the hairy bush on top of your head. “But you can shove it. We’re headed back to camp, /right now./”>”naw-nee, aaaaah!”“Yeah, yeah, naw-nee-that bullshit, chief,” you spit, using your hands to push yourself towards Tia. When she takes a step back towards the precipice, though, you immediately freeze.>Tia’s eyes aren’t scared. In fact, they’re also not angry, or even sad.>”naw-nee, aaaaah?” she questions earnestly. You don’t respond, prompting Tia to sit on her rump. Her front hooves raise to cover her eyes. “naw-nee…” she says again, before her hindlegs start wiggling in mock-terror. “/aaaaaah?/”>When her questioning gaze returns from behind her hooves, it clicks.“Am I scared?” you ask, propping an arm on the ground to settle into a sitting position. Tia responds with a rapid nod of her head.>“scawed! naw-nee, scawed? naw-nee go, aaaaaah!” >You stay silent. She’s a filly. A nature-defyingly fast, weird horn-and-wings, and unusually clever filly. But a filly nonetheless; you don’t even know if she fully understands you. You don’t even know if she understands the world, or… how she’s expected to act.>…You could tell her.Your voice is barely a whisper, but the recognition in Tia’s eyes, and the way her ears stand at attention, tells you it’s loud enough. “Yeah. I am scared.”>Tia doesn’t miss a beat, trotting over to you and plopping onto her rump. She puffs her chest tuft out before bellowing, “pwotect!”>>”Protect.”>>”Make comfortable.”>>”Make you feel good.”“It’s the night.”>Tia tilts her head, giving a questioning hum.“It’s the night,” you lie again, giving the filly a small smile. “Sorry, Tia. I’ve been acting bad because I’m scared of the night. I don’t like the dark.” Tia’s eyes widen with realization. You fight through the sick feeling in your stomach to give her a pat on the head. “So, it’s fine. I’m just acting like a colt. You don’t need to worry about me, okay?”>But then, she smiles.>It’s a slow smile to be sure, but it isn’t mischievous. In fact, you can’t spot an ounce of malintent in it. It seems to beam through the darkness as her eyes light up with pure joy.>You don’t have time to react before Tia hops away from you, towards the edge of the precipice.
>>37297010“/Wait!/” you shout, but it’s too late.>Tia stands in front of the sprawling lands below the precipice and points her horn towards the horizon. >Without warning, a blinding light explodes from Tia’s horn. You instinctively cower behind your arms, but no blistering heat follows. There is no deafening explosion; just the quiet, lolling hum of a unicorn working their magic.>You slowly lower your arms, and when the white light fades to a manageable orange, you creak open your eyes. Tia stands on the edge of the precipice, proudly looking over the wildlands of the Plumsteed outskirts. Her horn glows a magnificent color; an ethereal, nebula-like ocean of yellows, whites, and purples you can’t even begin to describe. >The Sun, peering just over the horizon, glows with the same beauty. The Sun, which wasn’t due for at least another few hours, slowly ascends over the far-off mountain tops. As it climbs into the sky, the dark shadows casted by the hills, trees, and rivers of the wilderness stretch across the green canvas of the forest before slowly shrinking in accordance with the light. The familiar buzzing of the nocturnal life fades into nothingness, to be replaced by the harmonic chittering of morning animals; as if they, too, are a part of the times changing.>But the times aren’t changing by themselves.>You can only stare as the otherworldly glow of Tia’s horn slowly wanes to oblivion. The Sun floats victoriously over the far-off mountains now, framing the filly in a picturesque moment of unadulterated wonder. A wonder more deep, more powerful, and more paralyzing than any night spent under the Equus stars. Tia giddily turns towards you, her magenta locks set ablaze into a colorful inferno from the Sun’s reflection. She can barely contain herself as she giggles, “naw-naw, pwotected!”“…ahhh…” you respond.>Tia tilts her head like an innocent schoolfilly. “naw-naw stiww scawed?”“…aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!”~~~>”Is there something on my face, dear? You don’t have to dance around it, for Ancients’ sake, just tell me where it is!”>She caught you staring again.>You immediately crank your head away from the unicorn by your side, instead focusing on the dirt path ahead. The sun-lit dirt path, surrounded by the green-yellow glow of the forest Sun, permeated with the tweets and calls of daytime life. You know, the things that should be happening hours from now, but aren’t because the filly in Lucky’s bag holds the power of an angry god. >The filly that Lucky Favor has been lying to you about.>”Oh come now, Anonymous. Your staring has become much less… flattering, and is starting to become borderline on creepy. Not that I would ever call you creepy! It’s just that you look so… Anonymous, dear, did you get any rest last night?”
>>37297015>Either she’s talking about the dark bags under your eyes or the fact that you’re not so much staring at her, more so flashing her death glares.>You were right to not open up to her.>She’s dishonest. They all are.>”Oh! We’re here, my lord!”“/STOP FUCKING CALLING ME THAT YOU SCRAWNY LITTLE CUNTWAGON!/”>…is what you almost say, but your mood is saved /just/ in time as the Free Valley Carpentry comes into the distance.>It’s a quaint little cottage, and if it isn’t for the large thatch-and-wood workshop attached to its side, you’d be forgiven for mistaking it for somepony’s home. The place is festooned with the branches and vines of the forest engulfing it from all sides, however you know they don’t provide any threat to the building’s integrity. Technicolor ropes of ambient magic sprawl across the surrounding foliage’s surfaces, between bark and under stones, preventing anything from causing harm to the structure.>It’s apparently a “rather disreputable establishment” for Lucky’s tastes. Translated from pretentious bitch, that means “sketchy.” Regardless, it’s the only workshop out of Plumsteed, and by proxy, out of Red Letter’s reach. Plus, it looked honest enough to you; enough for you to be wearing your splint with no worries of hiding it.>As the two of you near Free Valley, the sounds of the workshop overtake the wildlife of the outdoors; horns humming, hammers nailing, and unicorns shouting indistinctly.>”I hope they have it ready by now,” Lucky Favor says quietly. “I’d like to be rid of this place as quick as possible. And, once we’re on the road… if it’s not too much trouble, talk.”>You can feel Lucky’s eyes on you, as if she’s waiting for confirmation. But your attention is on the mare approaching the two of you. The tan overalls and various bandages on her face and forelegs verify her workplace.“Heads up.”>Lucky gives a little squeak before she turns to see the unicorn as well.>”Miss Lucky Favah’?!” she calls out, and you can instantly tell what brand of ale she prefers. Gravel.>”O-oh!” Lucky responds eloquently, speeding to a canter to meet up with the unicorn just ahead. “Yes, that’s me. Excuse me, but you weren’t the one we met before—">”Yeah, there’s more than one worker here. Makes the place run smoother. Ah’m Smooth Roads. A thousand an’ five hundred big ones for the finishing costs, Lucky-loo.”>You take a little pleasure in watching Faust squirm before her horn glows, drawing the doits from her bag. “One hundred, two hundred…” she whispers to herself as she counts. You, meanwhile, wander past her towards the workshop.
>>37297019>The racket of the unicorns raises tenfold as you cross the corner of Free Valley to be greeted by the open wall of the workshop. Unicorns trot this way and that between tasks as their horns glow. You have to bow to avoid smacking your head on their cargo, virtually making up a low ceiling of boards, planks, and an assortment of other wood-based paraphernalia. Most of the unicorns – especially the ones who heard you speak yesterday – raise their cargo as it nears your head, but you still allow a good foot of leeway.>You weave through the busy crowd of miniature horses before you arrive at a very familiar-looking house-on-wheels. You whistle at the accuracy of the whole thing; the unicorns got everything right. From the windows, to the empty supply barrels and bags hanging off the side, to even the miniature watch tower at the back which you had insisted would be a contrivance at best.>Well, that makes /one/ of Lucky Favor’s drawings coming to fruition.“God damnit,” you mumble, suddenly feeling very small.>”Hey!”/thonk!/>Your eyes snap to the smoking hole in the ground just between your feet. >“You!” the feminine voice continues, drawing your attention to…>…What the Hell?>”Yeah, you! The crippled, hairless cat! What’re you doing around our wagon?!”>You hadn’t noticed it before, either because you were just thinking they were workers putting the finishing touches on the wagon, but now that you pay closer attention you surmise that the band of unicorns occupying the wagon aren’t wearing overalls, or wielding hammers. They’re wearing an assortment of mixed and matched-together armor, wielding everything from swords to blow guns. You know this because each of the weapons are pointed at you.>You cross your arms, giving each of the wagon raiders a glare. The one with the blow gun pointed at you is standing on the seat of the wagon, just beside her a pony… that’s blind?>Sure enough, the unicorn on the seat’s eyes are a muted gray, staring into emptiness. She nervously paws at the one with the blow gun, obviously perturbed by the tension.>Hoo, boy. This is gonna be awkward.>But before you can open your mouth, you hear a familiar voice pipe up from just beside you.>“Pardon me, dears,” Red Letter questions with a genuineness you hope she doesn’t mistake for intimidation. “But why’re you dirtying your hooves on our wagon?”>”/YOUR/ cart?!” the blow gun one explodes, staring daggers at Faust. “You little bitch, we—”
>>37297024>”/NO FIGHTIN’ IN MAH BUCKIN’ WORKSHOP!/” Smooth Roads explodes as she… materializes beside Lucky. The effect of her voice is instant, clapping each of the unicorns’ ears to their skulls. The blind one whimpers as she bats the air around her ears.>Thank you, inferior human hearing.>As Smooth Roads continues laying into the wagon fetishists, you hear a faint “A-ahem…” by your side. You’re not exaggerating. Lucky just stuttered while she didn’t clear her throat, but said the English word, “Ahem.” You turn to your lady to find her peering up at you nervously. “Anonymous… I want you to know that I say this not to sound misandrist, but to protect your identity as a male of an unknown species. Please don’t speak. I don’t trust these ponies.”“Yeah, well, when was the last time your trust was reliable?”>Lucky is shocked by your words before her face creases into a saddened frown.>”What crawled up your snatch, Roads?” one of the wagon raiders snaps back.>”A couple’a no-good rats who were too late on the draw!” Roads responds with a whip of her head. “Beat it! This one’s paid for.”>”That didn’t matter last--”>”This wagon was assembled to the paid order of lady Lucky Favor, and her housecarla who wishes to be named anonymously!” >Teehee.>Smooth Roads’ horn glows an earthly brown before the bell by the wagon’s front seat is enveloped by her hue. The unicorn doesn’t have time to react before the bell smacks her upside the head.>She snarls, but her aggression never boils into attacking. With a simultaneous grumble from each of the wagon raiders, they step down from the structure, their wagon raiding fantasies crushed. They don’t disperse, however, instead trotting up to Smooth Roads, engaging in a hushed argument.>”Y’all can go on and take yer’ wagon,” the craftsmare says before she’s pulled into a bout of angry whispers.>As you and Lucky pass the huddle, you can faintly make out three words:>“…three thousand total…”>You pay it no mind as you step up and onto the front seat of the wagon. You don’t even hear a creak as you settle down; not even when Lucky Favor hops up the hoofsteps to join you on the soft cushion.>The space in front of the wagon is cleared of unicorns, and you’re about to catch up on some much-needed rest until a voice snaps you awake.>”Hold on now, hold on now!”
>>37297027>You jolt at the sensation of the wagon’s weight shifting once again. One of the wagon raiders doesn’t mind the owners’ glares sent her way as she ascends the hoofsteps to be level with you and Lucky. >…Well, fuck you too, inferior human smelling. You aren’t helping one bit with this walking ball of sweaty fur and dirt. >“I’d hate for us to part on terms such as these,” the unicorn says with a stained smile, before holding a hoof out to you. “The name’s Lily. And yours, ma’am?”>You keep your glare level at Lily, even if it’s becoming increasingly hard. There’s something in her pale yellow eyes that makes you uneasy.>“Lucky Favor, as you know.” You lean back to give Lily a proper view of her conversation partner. The unicorn responds with a disappointed “hmph,” but otherwise turns to Lucky gracefully. “The rightful owner of this wagon, as my friend Smooth Roads told you.”>”/’Rightful owner,’/ she says,” Lily giggles softly, shutting Lucky Favor up. There’s a moment in which Lily’s soft titter reigns above the clamor and ruckus of the workshop, dominating whatever Lucky’s retort would’ve been into submission. Lily suddenly smiles to Lucky with a less-than-appropriate gaze. ”Ten thousand.”>You blink.>”Pardon?” Lucky Favor almost whispers, staring at Lily like she had grown a second head.>”I’ll even magic up a contract that prohibits myself and my cohorts from touching your wagon until the money is in your hooves,” Lily continues, accentuating her point with a tap-tap-tap on the wood. “Ten thousand doits, Lucky Favor. That’s a might more than what you paid, wouldn’t you say? Now I’m no accountant, but slap me silly and call me a househusband if that’s not a steal! Not only that, but you could just draft up another, better one with the extra money. And let’s not forget your /cat friend’s/ need of proper medical attention over here.” Another tap-tap-tap as she leans over to Lucky with a hungry glint in her eyes. You draw your leg further away from the mare. “What do you say?”>You can hear Lucky Favor’s heartbeat through her chest. “Wh-why do you want it so much?!”>”I’m an artist at heart. I can appreciate a fellow craftsmare.”>Lucky Favor’s wild expression turns from Lily to you in an instant. Your own expression isn’t faring much better. You’re at a loss. The trade makes perfect sense to you. Ten thousand bits for a wagon that costed /three/ thousand to make. Lily’s promise of honesty means nothing to you, but that doesn’t change the fact you’re in the middle of the Free Valley workshop. There are too many particularly burly, rough-and-tumble witnesses.>Just… /why/ does she want it so much?
>>37297033>…“I think we should take her up,” you whisper to Lucky Favor. “Ten thousand doits is a lot.”>From the wagon’s weight shifting and the preserved humming, you can tell that Lily is leaning away from your conversation and giving you both some privacy.>“It’s not about the money!” Lucky nearly yelps. “This is my wagon! And we’d be in the woods for another night before we got a new one!”“Why does that matter?”>”Because every minute we spend here is a minute we spend risking Red Letter finding you!”You feel a stone drop in your stomach. “Stop worrying about me,” you growl.>Lucky Favor’s eyes widen at your tone. She’s silent for a while, until her entire body droops. “What was I thinking, hoping you’d care for something special to me…”>It’s better that she thinks that way, you suppose… but still, you can’t bare to look at Lucky’s sorry state. You turn away from your lady, wondering just what to do.>That’s when you see that Lucky’s bag is no longer beside her.>It’s floating across the front of the wagon to the group of unicorns.>Your eyes snap to the trajectory of the bag to see that, among the wagon raiders still surrounding Smooth Roads, the blind one has her eyes clenched shut in concentration. The one with the blow gun strapped to her withers whispers something into her ear, her eyes glued on the bag.>The blind one’s magical aura is transparent and silent. They’re trying to steal the bag.>They’re trying to steal Tia. /SLAM!/>Your body moves of its own accord before your mind can catch up. When it does, you’re cradling the bag in your arms, and the blind unicorn collapses to the floor in front of you.>”/WHAT IN THE ALL-MOTHER’S CHEST TUFT?!/”>You blink out of your stupor to realize that all eyes in the workshop are on you.>”/ANONYMOUS, WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?!/”>You turn to defend yourself, before you feel something warm and furry wrap around your hand.>”SHE JUST HIT A BLIND PONY! GET HER—">You realize just what you saw in Lily’s eyes.“/DON’T TOUCH ME!/” you scream, whipping your hand away from the mare who had made contact.
>>37297035>It’s the unicorn with the blow gun, whose enraged expression turns to awe the moment you open your mouth. Everypony’s quiet now. The room spins as you stumble away from the group, clutching the bag close to your chest. As you near the side of the wagon, Lily is already on the floor beside it, giving you enough distance to climb up.>You don’t miss the hard glance she gives your injured leg before she says, “My apologies to the… /gentlecolt/ and his lady.” You ignore her as you grab the front seat and hoist yourself up the steps. “It seems we’re all in a bit of a foul mood this morning.” You finally settle down onto the seat, squeezing the bag to your chest. “None of us got a good rest last night.”“Go,” you grit out to Lucky. “Now.”>Lucky Favor snaps to attention and her horn glows. Immediately, the front reigns are pulled taut and the wagon lurches forward. Each of the unicorns give your wagon a wide radius to leave Free Valley Carpentry.>Smooth Roads hides her face from you as you pass by.“Faster.”>”We’re not even out of the shop yet!” Lucky chastises.>Every instinct in your body is screaming at you to get out of there before it’s too late. All you can feel is a burning sensation, and a pressure in your neck.>”naw-naw?” Tia says hesitantly from the bag. Or was it just your imagination?“Faster, Faust.”>”O-okay!” she nods, her horn glowing an even brighter cyan before the cart gains new speed. You’re shaking too much to look back at the Carpentry to see how much of a head start you have. You know it’s useless anyways. “Anonymous, what was that? Please, talk to me!”“Faster.”>The forest isn’t a green blur yet. The sweat on your forehead isn’t getting whipped off. You aren’t careening down the path at breakneck speeds.>It isn’t fast enough./thonk!/>You feel a blistering pain in your shoulder. Your hand shoots up to grab at it but falls limp halfway there. You can only turn your head ever so slightly to catch the blow dart embedding in your shoulder, its red feathers dancing in the wind.>The last thing your blurry vision can make out is the insignia of a red lily on the dart’s body.>The last thing your muffled hearing can perceive is Lucky Favor’s horrified, “/ANONYMOUS!/”>Your touch is the last to go. Before you drift into darkness, you can feel one tiny hoof pressing against your chest.>And then, it all goes black.
>>37297039And that's all for now. Ponepaste is down at the moment, but once it's back up it'll become this story's main site. For now, this story has a fimfic: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/499685/preunification-anon
>>37296847I'm connecting events on the timeline with funny things that would be fun to read/write. Once that's done, I'll make sure my dates are right, adjust the order of events as needed, have one more brainstorming session with the funny things in mind, and then get to writing the first update.
>>37297049what is this about and why are there so many sound effects
>>37297084>why are there so many sound effectsBad writing.
>>37296710I never understood how Luna controls the stars.Is she just controlling the light of them? It’s not she is moving entire star systems and gallery’s on a whim right?
>>37297110Could be any number of things. Equestria might have much smaller celestial objects than our universe, so the stars might be small motes just outside the orbit of the moon, or Luna is just bending the light of distant, full-size stars.Or she's actually moving whole-ass stars and somehow dilating space-time so the light makes the journey instantly. If thats the case, then she's the strongest alicorn by thousands of orders of magnitude.
>>37297110I've always assumed it was some form of bending light. If it were accomplished via gravity that could also tie into her ability to manipulate the moon and, by extension, the tides.
>>37297049The plot thickens, enjoyable update, hope Anon and Faust get a chance to talk sooner than later.
>>37297110I like the idea that Equestria's sun and stars are smaller than we'd think and more magical in nature.So Luna has around 3000 stars that range around 10-100cm she can throw around at her whims.I cant lie though, the reason i enjoy it is imagining the reaction to some poor aliens visiting equestria and encountering a steller minefield which can turn into an angry hive of space wasps with a thought.
>>37297049What the fuck is going on?
>>37297110Magic. Stars aren't really real just like Equestria's Sun and Moon aren't really real. However, all celestial bodies are real if you're outside Equestrian continent.
>>37297370>commission the wagon shown in the last post.>camp out in the woods for the night while its assembled.>tia is an adorable little shid and shows off the PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER thats inside her itty bitty filly container.>Anon gets pissed off about this not being mentioned and is just really distrustful of mares in general at this point.>Vibe i'm getting is that he was raped or otherwise abused by 'red letter' thr bandit mare from the previous update.>Ponies of questionable intent were going to take the wagon but the carpenter told them to fuck off because it was a lot of money.>Ponies proceed to distract the two while they steal their bag because dropping 3 grand on a wagon means you probably have more, unknown whether they also knew about the filly but probably not.>Anon notices and has an episode, gets shot by a sleep dart as they leave, carpenter mare was in on it and was too ashamed to look at them as they left.
>>37297049>EquusWould you really call this Earth Homo? Come on now, you are better than this Why the fuck Sun would be Sun if the planet is not named Earth?>sound effects, sound effects everywhereFor what purpose? It's better than last time, but you can do fine without typing them out like some sort of comic book. >yet another magic immune AnonThis is so unbelievably overdone you won't believe it until you see it. Would have been more refreshing if it was a magic-slinging Anon. Fortunately for you, pretty much no one wrote a pre-unification story so you have this going for you. Can't wait to see what you'll do with the setting and the story.
>>37297459>Why the fuck Sun would be Sun if the planet is not named Earth?Nigga if you're going be pedantic about the most pointless argument on this basket weaving forum at least get your facts straight.'Sun' is the general term for the star or stars that are providing energy to the planets in their effective range.Just like 'planet' or 'moon''Sol' is the name for our sun for instance, with 'Luna' being the name of our moon.
>>37297503Nigga, you don't get it, do you? If you want to argue the point, don't make yourself look dumber than your opposition. It's about names and not terms. Besides, Sol is not the name for our sun. It is Sun, same with moon and Moon. That is how they are named in English. In some other languages it is indeed Sol and Luna, but not in this language.
>>37297049Fuck yeah it continuesI love it, baby tia is adorable
>>37283909>The queen's expression shifts so fast and so drastically from one to another that one might assume her innate shapeshifting was at play before settling on something flat and cold.>"Is that so?" she asks.>"Yeah, but I'm okay with it. Raven's a good mare and- where are you going?">"Obviously I'm going to kill Celestia.">"Wha-? Hey! Stop!">"I will not! If that overgrown meal ticket thinks she can choose who MY son marries she has another thing coming! Namely my horn through her eye!">"Mom! It's not that bad!">"- And not even a royal, no less! Just some pauper who's risen up by suckling at an alicorn's teat! A manipulative, lying,-">"Raven's not like that! She's smart, hardworking, and full of love!">"Oh, I'm sure. Lust, more like it, and I'm not going to let her near you, now get out of my way.">"I know the difference between lust and love as well as you do-">"-A scheming little worm the likes Canterlot breeds is well beyond a sheltered hatching's experience. She would have you believe she's a saint even as she drags you to bed to-">"Enough! If she's as dishonest as you seem to think, then explain this!">Anon leaps up and grabs the larger changeling's head, yanking it down to his level.>She growls and prepares to berate him, but then he presses his nose to hers, their lips an inch apart as he parts his own and lets a stream of green vapor flow out.>She inhales it without thinking, then instinct takes over and she's gulping it down.>So pure.>So clean.>And not a hint of the bitterness that usually accompanies stolen love or the sour aftertaste obtained through dishonesty.>Such flavors were so common to their kind as to be nearly unnoticeable now, except for when it's absent.>In the rare moments such as these, every changeling has the same thought.>How did I ever even manage to swallow love tainted by those impurities?>In a way, tasting love of this quality is almost cruel for how rare an experience it is.>Even Chrysalis herself only experienced it years ago from a wounded traveler she had rescued from certain death in the wastes.>Anon's own father and namesake.>A tear rolls down her cheek as the stream of energy tapers off, leaving only memories of her lost love.>Anon leans back slowly to look at her.>"She gave that to me freely when I told her that we needed love and that I was starving. Even after I drank from her and she was weakened, I felt no animosity from her, and I have no doubt she would have given more if I asked. That's just the kind of person she is. Giving and driven by a desire to help others. Say what you will about the princesses, but leave Raven out of it.">Chrysalis lifts her head slowly, looking from her son to the castle in the distance.>After several seconds, she sighs and turns around.>"Come we have much to discuss.">"Are you going to let the ponies help?">"... We shall see. But first, I want to know more about your meeting... And this Raven.">Anon smiles and trots after her.
>>37297459How can somebody be autistic enough to get mad about the use of english and fantasy terms in a children's show fanfiction?
>>37297599Do you know where you are?
>>37297596Well now I'm curious how Chryssy is going to go forward with this
>>37297596>>Anon's own father and namesake.Curiouser and curiouser
>>37297687I can't self-insert myself to a corpse! I feel dead inside as it is, bad escapism
>>37297049well that was neat.one little error i found, at least i think.>“Pardon me, dears,” Red Letter questions with a genuineness you hope she doesn’t mistake for intimidation. “But why’re you dirtying your hooves on our wagon?”Red Letter is there? And saying something she may also mistake for intimidation?I am confuse.
>>37297702I think it's supposed to be Lucky speaking, not Red, and the person Anon hopes isn't going to make the mistake is one of the bandits
>>37297596Ayy, this is nice, good to see chrysalis so protective.Neat way of changelings sharing the love they get and that 'dishonest' love is noticable.RIP Anon, First of his name.
>>37297691>>37297709The question becomes, was Anon Sr. a human, or something else native to the world?After all, Anonymous isn't exactly a human name. Maybe it was a pony?Regardless, as an outsider, they could be the reason Prince Anon has an outsider's understanding of changelings and might not see himself as much of one as others of his kind.Or maybe he is a reincarnated human.So many mysteries.
>>37297049Getting some strong Guts vibes from Anon here, particularly in how he's brokenLet's hope his smile and optimism are restored sooner this time
>>37297727>some strong Guts vibes>Equestria is "across the ocean" from where the are right now if i remember the last update properly.Anon no WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
>>37297596So our buggo prince's father is gone, huh? I hope he just returned home, back to Earth, and didn't die, that would just make things unnecessarily sad.In fact, what if Chryssie is the way she is because she truely loved Anon Senior and let him go because of that? Would explain a lot, actually.
So Celestia is Sol and Daybreaker is Sol Invictus, right?What are the implications of this? Does this count as alternate history since the latter didn't become their one true god?
>>37297459>hearthfag throws fit when his shitty meme name isn't usednot surprising
>>37297813>implying Equus or Equis are any goodWe live on Earth, not on Homo, you colt cuddling candyass.
>>37297793Pic a cute, I'd hug a daybreak
>>37297815>sensing it is unloved, the child continues to cry
>>37297815Why should candy colored magic ponies stick to human naming conventions? If they wanna name their planet Equus who are you to say that's wrong?Why should an alien race mimic every single facet of human naming?
>>37297820You're the only one crying, because you can't admit you're wrong.
>>37297815Nobody cares about your shitty headcanon
>>37297793Anon there is literally no way any of us can answer those question as they are your headcanonOnly you have those answers
>>37297815And your point is? There are no indications that this is meant to be set on Earth. Fictional planets are sometimes named after the dominant species.
>>37297821Because Earth is the correct name, it is the canon name, the name that matters. Fanon names must be avoided at all costs when canon name is available. Earth is what their planet always was called. Equus and Equis should be avoided at all costs.
OTA is back again I see
>>37297828The canon also has no treebrary, and celly and luna on retirement. The canon can suck my ass, fanon all the way
>>37297827My point is that it cannot be anything else but Earth. It is impossible for it to be anything else when sun is called Sun and moon is called Moon.>>37297831Except S9 is not canon and never was. The only canons that exist are pre-S3 and pre-S7.
>>37297830OTA at least had a point. It was a shallow point, the sort of thot-tier reasoning one gets when all one consumes is hollywood-style trash, but a point all the same. This nigga is just mad someone isn't using his preferred naming convention in their fictional story.
>>37297833>implying he's wrongHe was never wrong in the first place. You should have listened to him.
>>37297832>there is someone in the story named Dave, so it must be set in my shitty backwater county, which also has someone named DaveBrilliant
>>37297832>My point is that it cannot be anything else but Earth. It is impossible for it to be anything else when sun is called Sun and moon is called Moon.Oooorr... it's a childrens cartoon about magical horses and it's not even trying to have any rules or consistency in naming conventions of the alien culture and is merely copying our own for the sake of the viewer. Thus a fanfiction writer looking to expand on it with their ideas can name that shit whatever the fuck they want. Name the sun "Celestial Nipple" and the Moon "Luna's cheeks" for all I care. It's fucking fanfiction
>>37297838>muh children's cartoonHave you ever wondered why the show went to shit and G5 will be shit for sure? It's because of this fucktarded mentality. I don't give a flying fuck that this is fanfiction and neither should you. He should do his research first or he'll end up like a S8/S9 writer.
Oh so this is just pure bait by someone who needs attention. Ignore him and move along, people.
>>37297842If you're expecting people to listen, you're just wasting posts.
>>37297825>simple logical deductions>headcanonNo anon it's clearly a deliberate choice meant to send us some sort of message that we need to decrypt. What could they mean by making things mirror the history of Rome?
>>37297832sun and moon are things you cuck, not namesganymede is still a moon even if it's not "the moon," just like how Arcturus is still "the sun" to the planets around itSol and Luna are names not just because they sound less like words in English (even if they are technically just words in Latin), but also because scientific naming conventions use latin as a base which gives it more weightyes I pulled that straight out of my ass but by god you are going to count each and ever hair on the shit you started
>>37297841By that logic, 99% of the green in these threads is wrong and the writers should have "done their research". Fanfiction that just copies the show and does nothing new or changes nothing is just bad green. Think of the story with equus as a freaking AU where the only difference is how the planet is named, if it helps you sleep at night you raging autist
>>37297849Why am I not surprised that you're intentionally misinterpreting what I am saying? That is absolutely not what I meant and you know it, you dishonest dyke.>>37297848You make no sense, Mexicanon. You should ease up on tequila.
>>37297856>Was I wrong and said something stupid?>No that's not possible. I am 100% correct, thus the only way anybody could ever disagree with me is because they misinterpreted what I said. Had they interpreted what I said correctly, they would've doubtlessly converted instantly
>>37297860See? You're misinterpreting me again, because you cannot prove SHIT. You should've just stayed silent instead of making yourself look like a fool.
>>37297863>I am 100% correct, thus the only way anybody could ever disagree with me is because they misinterpreted what I said. Had they interpreted what I said correctly, they would've doubtlessly converted instantly
>>37297845Hope, like my dick, springs eternal
>>37297865Polly, you will never get a cracker like that.
>Note to self, make a point to call the planet something other than Earth from here on out in ever green I write
>>37297875Equus has a nice ring to t
>>37297875Yeah, call it Earth. Do not call it anything else unless you want threads getting derailed all the time.
>>37297879It does, but I am partial to the faux history people came up with for Hearth. But that's the best part about having multiple greens running at once, I can use a different name for each!
>>37297880Millions for defense, not one cent for tribute, faggot
>>37297888Godlike trips, but what did you mean by this? Is that a meem?
>>37297880Ah, such sweet suffering. I'll have to give myself a prrrrrromotion!
>>37297897Tomorrow I'll check those blueprints. Tomorrow I'll give myself a prrrromotion!But today I will acknowledge your good taste
>>37297888WHO TOUCHED MY GUN?
>>37297899Ahhhh, my brother! Truly, hapPINESS is always better when based on the misery of million!
>>37297904>>37297906Ah, snooPINGAS usual I see!
>>37297793>Much like Nightmare Moon was to Luna, Daybreaker is a demon who tried to possess Celestia.>Keyword tried.>Celestia swiftly recognized something was wrong with her and sealed Daybreaker in her own body.>So Daybreaker was trapped in Celestia's body, not able to do anything more than watch through Celestia's eyes and hear through her ears.>So the demon bided her time and waited for Celestia to slip.>But she never did.>The seal never loosened and Celestia never heeded her whispers.>This whispers turned into forceful demands, then into enraged screaming.>It was after almost a week of mental screaming did Daybreaker come to an unsettling realization.>Celestia can't hear her. She never could.>The seal isn't loosening, her warden can't hear her, and said warden has no plans of ever releasing her.>The anger in Daybreaker cooled, replaced with uncomfortable fear.>A year passed>Then ten.>Then a hundred and some change.>Daybreaker has forgotten what touch feels like or what food tastes like.>She can't sleep. When Celestia rests everything just becomes a uniform black with no sound.>Another hundred years passes.>Daybreaker rages with all her might, trying to get ANYTHING out of Celestia. She rages for years at a time with only a few days between for rest.>Another hundred years passes.>Daybreaker throws away her pride and begs to be released. Her memory of before this prison is beginning to fade.>Another two hundred years passes.>The begging turns into bargains, Daybreaker shedding the last of her pride and promising unbreakable vows of loyalty and servitude for freedom. She would give ANYTHING to be free.>Another two hundred years passes.>Gone is the begging, replaced with wails and sobbing broken only by weeks worth of exhaustion.>Another three hundred years passes.>Almost 1000 years shes been trapped, and Daybreaker finally looses hope. She settles to fade away into the dark and embrace the comfort of death, who brings rest to mare and monster alike.>Then for an instant, Celestia's control over her magic slips.>Daybreaker leaps upon the sliver of magic like a starving dog does a steak, not even bothering to see what caused the slip. She rips away all that she can and unlocks the seal, then ejects herself as a specter to run away and materialize a body.>Never would she return to Celestia or any of the accursed Alicorns.>But with the small amount of magic she nabbed, she would only be as strong as an average unicorn court mage.>The demon settles somewhere far away and builds a unicorn mare body for herself.
>>37297917>Plans for power and rule can wait for a few millennia, or maybe indefinitely. For now, she simply wants to live.>The bush she's in rustles.>"Hey, you alright?">Daybreaker looks up weakly, trying not to faint from the sensory overload of just breathing fresh air and laying in soft grass.>Above her is a tall, concerned looking biped with a hairless face and hands, male if the voice is any indicator. He looks at her with shining foal eyes that carefully scan her.>Daybreaker opens her mouth to speak, but all that comes out is a gasp and a dry cough.>The tall stranger immediately bends down and produces a bottle of water from the bag at his side, uncapping it and gently pressing it to her lips.>Tears spring to Daybreaker's eyes at the wonderful sensation of simple, cool water running down her throat.>The sympathy of this male is even sweeter. Words, words directed to her. How she's missed this.>"Hey, how about I take you back to town? You look kinda rough and I bed some rest would do you good.">The mare tries to muster a prideful retort, but it dies on her lips when the tall stranger picks her up into his arms.>Again tears spring to her eyes, but she can't muster any self-admonishment or humiliation at being carried by a male.>It's been over a thousand years since she's been touched.>She places her chin on his shoulder and shudders."S-Sunny.">"Hmm?""Sunny Skies. M-My name.">He turns just enough that she can see his smile. "Pretty name. Mine's Anonymous, but call me Anon. All my friends do.">Daybr- No. Sunny smiles back weakly.>Her start-over begins now.-->Celestia tries not to panic.>The seal holding Daybreaker is gone.>She didn't notice when her bout with Nightmare went wrong and ended with Celestia banished in the sun. Luckily her student and her new friends managed to do the impossible and unlock the Elements, ending Nightmare ans restoring Luna.>One demon gone for good only for another to escape into the wild.>The Sun Princess looks down to her sister, who is sleeping soundly at her side.>Celestia sighs and summons some parchment and a quill.>Twilight and her friends need warned...2/2
>>37297918Top fucking tier, my body hungers for more
>>37297918i remember this promptit was a good prompt
>>37297918I have an addiction to cute stories redeeming villains through love and affection
>>37296778So does /d/, which tells you all you need to know about what kind of degenerate scum is into that shit.
>>37297918Now I'm just imagining a confrontation between her and the others where they try to banish her back, perhaps understandably thinking that she's just been deceitful and laying low and it's then left up to Anon to convince them that she's reformed from whatever villain they previously knew her to be.
>>37297971Hey! I visit /d/ and I'm into monster girls, so you're absolutely correct. My degenracy knows no bounds someone mail me some jesus please I need it
>>37297971/d/ is based, they coom and don't afraid of anything
>>37297815Oh what's up Prance fag?
>>37298009>mail me some jesus please I need itBest I can do is pic related
>>37297830It's best to ignore him when he begins to cry and screech. Of all the threads he's shit up, I have literally never seen him concede that someone else might be right, ever. All you accomplish by arguing with him is providing entertainment for other people.
>>37298009>someone mail me some jesus>being this lazyUnless you live literally in the middle of nowhere then you can just go down to your local church and ask for a Bible.
>>37297899who dat cutie
>>37297971Monstergirls are for posers who can't commit.Nightmare Waifus is where the real action is.Monsters should be gross and horrific (and badass), not "cute." Bah!
>>37298114based literal retard
>>37298144>not taking everything 100% literallyngmi
>>37287498Lovely little story. Thank you writefriend.
>>37298107And I have literally never seen anyone being close to being right, ever. Funny how that works.
>>37298107Yeah, it's actually pretty funny. Do you think he cries in real life?
>>37298236Why would he, unless it's "UOOOOOOH"? He's probably laughing out loud.
>>37298236Absolutely. Tears of frustration. He's the Chris-Chan of mlp.
>>37298260You wish. I can see only you guys crying like the little upset crybabies you are.
>>37298260Do you think he wears a Celestia pendant around his neck with "age magic" and "never sad" written on the back of it? Or do you think it's a pendant of a planet with little pony heads on it, and on the back is written "EARTH"? He's probably autistic enough to wear a Sonichu-type thing.
>>37298122Bay Breeze, I believe. She's such an adorable mare! Would make for great waifu material.
>>37298288The bows and ribbons are there on purpose. Some say it makes her look like a dyke, but she wears them because she can skill kick the flank of anypony who gives her shit. It's like how poisonous frogs are bright colours.
>>37298289Kinda like how Rarity can wreck anyone's shit because she's actually experienced in martial arts?
>>37298294Or that fine-point needle control. The faggiest mares are the most dangerous, don't cha know? It's like watching a guy wearing makeup walking downtown Jersey at 2 AM. The fact that he can do that regularly means he can kick the ass of anyone who gives him shit.
>>37298277I believe that he does all these things now.
>>37297918See, this is a good prompt. It works well as a small, encapsulated story of its own but it invites both further discussion and expansion into a larger story.
>>37298277Celestia pendant, easily.
>>37298343Why not princessfag pendant?
>>37298344I don't think he cares about Luna, but I could be wrong.
>>37298351Why would he not care about his waifus?
>>37298353NPC-tier programming, he has to define himself as against a thing rather than propose something original and innovative of his own
>>37298365NPCs do not browse here, remember? Nor do they watch the pony show.
>>37298367>NPCs do not browse here
>>37298353I can't think of a single time I've ever seen him post about her
>>37298391Maybe there was no opportunity to bring her up?
>>37298392Smdh, sounds to me like he's just undevoted
>>37298398I assure you, I am quite devoted to her. I just know better than start silly arguments over her. Celestia, on the other hand, is fair game. Silly princess deserves silly arguments.
>>37297971Oh no, it's retarded.
>>37298398Pretty sad, I can't believe he's that selfish.
>Be Sassy Saddles>The best manager in Manehattan>Perhaps all of Equestria>Today, you found yourself in Ponyville>Your employer, Miss Rarity, had asked you to come to this quant little village to chat business>Everything went smoothly as always>Sales were up this year, and looked to steadily climb for many years to come>Business was so good you had joked to Rarity that she'd go broke trying to find places to store all of her bits>A good laugh was had>An even better bottle of wine was produced and opened>It looked to be a supremely successful meeting>Until Princess Twilight walked through the front door and saw you>Her highness had wanted to run some "tests" on the resident local alien>Some giant green stallion that you recalled reading about in the papers months ago>She had come to ask Rarity for help with a particular test>This alien was apparently some sort of predator, like a filthy gryphon>She wished to see if he would be able to stalk a pony>And you don't mean the sort of stalk where a mare becomes too enamored with a stallion>It seemed absolutely silly>Miss Rarity had so many better things to do than that>However, you knew one didn't say no to an alicorn without ones reputation going to tatters; friend or not>So, to keep your employer's dignity in tack, you volunteered yourself for this silly game>Which is why you found yourself in the middle of a field of overgrown grass, arms crossed, not all all happy that your lovely dress was getting dirty>Above, Princess Twilight and Miss Rarity seat in a hot air balloon>"Alright Sassy, this is an easy test," her royal highness called. "Anon is currently somewhere in this field. He has ten minutes to get within five feet of you. All you need to do is see him before he does so. If you do see him just shout.""Of course, Princess," you yelled back, looking around>You hadn't this alien since coming here>The Princess had mentioned something about him hiding before you three came so you wouldn't have a general idea where he was>Which was fine>You didn't expect this to be horribly difficult>The stallion was supposed to be ten hooves tall after all>How well could he really hide in some short grass?"I'm ready to begin when you are, your highness!">In her basket, the alicorn nodded>"Alright Anon, come get her!" she yelled>Her command was met with silence>You quickly looked in your immediate area, even nudging some grass near you with a hoof>The colt was nowhere to be seen>You perked your ears up, scanning the grass for any movement at all>Minutes passed>You could hear bugs buzzing, the call of birds, even the hot air balloon above, but no alien>As you stood there, a strange sensation began to well up in your stomach, one you couldn't quite place>You opened and closed your hands, tail curled around your leg>You were listening hard, eyes narrowing>Every strange sound your head would whip toward it>This is...>Offputting>Dare you say spooky
>>37298690>Your heart began beating just a hair faster>Despite the weather being mild, you broke out into a sweat>You nearly jumped out of your fur when the wind picked up, causing the grass to ruffle and shake"My goodness!" you exclaimed, placing a hand against your heaving chest>Come on Sassy...>This was just a silly game...>Nothing to be concerned over...>You couldn't-->There was a loud noise>A branch snapping perhaps"HA!" you yelled, head whipping over to where the sound came from>A bird flew up from the brush, twig in its beak>Watching it fly away, you released the breath you didn't realize you had been holding>It was nothing...>Just a silly blue jay...>Somepony cleared their throat>Right>Behind>You>Instinct kicked in>Letting out a coltish yelp, you kicked a leg back>Hitting nothing but air, you spun around to see him>A giant>You were a tall mare yourself, but he was truly a behemoth>Tall, wide, alien>With a set of piercing, focused green eyes>He was looking down at you with a mixture of amusement and concern, a small smile on his face>"Good job Anon!" Twilight called. "You're getting really good at this!">"Just keepings to the downwind, Twilight!" he said back in broken Equish>There was no need for him to yell>His voice was so booming you swore you could feel each word vibrate in your chest>He took a step closer to you, and despite yourself you stepped back>"Are you being the okay, Miss?" he asked>Your nostrils flared, and the sweetest, most succulent scent hit your nose "I, hum, uh.... YES! Yes! I'm fine," you replied, nodding your head so hard and fast you were sure you'd have a twinge tomorrow>The alien nodded, giving you another smile as he made his way toward the hot air balloon, which was landing thirty or so feet away>You wanted to follow, but your hooves were rooted to the ground>You could only watch the creature move through the grass like a ghost>Even now, he made almost no noise, each step hypnotic in its fluidness>A giant stallion that moved like some killer...>...>...>...>Goodness, did it get a little warmer out here?
>>37298690>>37298754>Arms>Hoof>HandsOh noIn all seriousness, I like it, b&thro or not. Predator anon is always top notch fun. This is a continuation to the anon's medical checkup thing right?
>>37297702Well shit. It's fixed in the fimfic and ponepaste version. Thanks for catching that
>>37298771Agreed predator anon is great
You know I'm starting to think that this thread is less about reversed gender roles and more about sexually and romantically aggressive and proactive mares.
>>37299146I can make some "get back in the kitchen" jokes if you want me to.
>>37299165Do it faget. I dare you.
>>37299146It's /genericponygreengeneral/ and fuck you if you don't like it.
>>37299171What do you call a stallion with a black eye? A bad listener.
>>37299177>What do you call a stallion with a black eye?A faggot with poor depth perception.
>>37299195ayyy because he didn't know where the dick was and it poke him in the eye. i get it
>>37299173>when you're a salty faggot who goes wah wah wah when eqg gets posted
>>37299146>>37299165And after marriage I doubt most mares are aggressive in getting a stallion.
>>37299202I like the eqg stuff tho
>>37299173I wasn't complaining (but only because I don't like men just taking the roles of women because that's fag shit). I much prefer it being that mares act somewhat like stallions while stallions still act like stallions.
>>37299221>(but only because I don't like men just taking the roles of women because that's fag shit).>he wouldn't pick his seven foals up from hoofball practice>he wouldn't drop them off at their grandparents' for the night with promises of Pretty Princess' Pizzeria Pizza and """scary""" movies once dad's gone>he wouldn't come home and spend a few hours fixing up a high-energy dinner for your three wives after a long day at work>he wouldn't then proceed to get dolled up while they wash up and fuck them all pregnant again now that you have the house to yourselfman what a fag
>>37299221We all like and prefer our own flavor of rgre. I myself like the stories focusing on the nerdy or unwanted neety mares and what interacting with them would be as the recipient of their attention/crushes/whatever. If you really would love to see more of your oreferred brand of rgre, feel free to write a prompt! Share ideas! It might inspire someone to write more, or maybe even inspire YOU to write more! Anybody got that pair of images of floor bored going to meet her friends?
>>37299320only the second
>>37299333Pony nerd friendship is always cute.
>>37299310had me until your polycancer, book of mormon
>>37299333>ywn have a nerd herd>ywn have to deal with autistic screeching matches about their favorite childrens tv show>ywn be okay with it because they're all cute lovable dorks
>>37299333Thank you, now to wait for the first one. At least the second one is the most important piece
>>37299320>I myself like the stories focusing on the nerdy or unwanted neety mares and what interacting with them would be as the recipient of their attention/crushes/whatever.>literally the RGRE meme of You Can Have A GF Too!Trash.
>>37299221>I don't like men just taking the roles of women because that's fag shitThere is and always has been a good amount of borderline homoshit of anons wanting to be literal skirt and makeup wearing housewives.
>>37299494Yeah, the problem with >>37299320 shit is that it's rarely about RGRE at all and more about >>37299470. It's literal something something RGRE tier.
>>37299502Be the change you want to see in the threads. Write your own green, with blackjack and hookers. Show em how it's done.
>>37299514You are a saint
>>37299470>>literally the RGRE meme of You Can Have A GF Too!What the fuck is that?
>>37299489I know.>borderlineThat's gayer than getting spitroasted by the two most hung stallions and then washing it down with the whole royal guard.
>>37299545That's how other threads characterize RGRE, the thread where anons write about how someday they have have a gf. It's not wrong considering much of what gets posted in here.
>>37299548Oh, some of it is borderline but there's a good portion that's damn near what you describe as well.
>>37299579Smells like another case of "stop liking things I don't like" to me
>>37299579>It's not wrong considering much of what gets posted in here.Unused prompts and lots of bitching?
>>37299591Because you're in the picture and you don't like people pointing it out.
>>37297027>The blind one whimpers as she bats the air around her ears.Ah fuck that activates my "must hug the sad pone until it's no longer sad" instincts.
>>37299626Smells like another post of "stop liking what I don't like" to meIs that not what you're saying? That my taste is bad and that your taste is superior, and that I should stop liking what you don't like?
>>37299670I'm saying you're the sort that walks into a traditional Mexican restaurant and orders a burger, then makes a big deal about how the restaurant should serve more burgers even though it's clearly a Mexican restaurant. I don't give a fuck about whether or not you like burgers, I'm just always a bit mystified when people go somewhere known for doing A and then try to make it about B.
>>37299670I'm guessing you're one of those dickheads who turns up in threads that aren't even about your fetish, then demands that a writefag write a story about your fetish.Go drown yourself.
>>37299685I nerely described my fave brand of rgre, and you think it's shit. Nerdy mares acting like incels and neet men of our world and stallios acting and being treated by women is, no matter how much you don't wanna believe it, reversed gender roles. Thus it belongs in rgre. I didn't demand anybody to write it, I just expressed my like for it.You're like the sort of guy who walks into a pizza place, and sees me ordee pineapple on my pizza. You then loudly declare that I'm doing pizza wrong, thst my taste is shit, and that I don't belong in said pizza establishment
>>37299739Never demanded anything, and never have. I just mentioned that I like neet mares in rgre, and you guys threw a hissyfit despite the fact that mares acting like incels of our world is rgre
>>37299744Wait, that's what this argument is about?Who's the faggot who's been badmouthing RGRE NEET mares? Fite me irl.Also, when are we getting a new chapter of Coffee House Anon and D&D Mare?
>>37298754Majestic. I hoped the story would continue, and this is an excellent addition. I just wish the updates would come sooner!That said, I have a nagging feeling that Anon is not what he looks like, and not only from the ponies' perspective. The things he is described with makes me think of some sort of an eldritch being, more than a mere mortal man.Ah well, we will see, I suppose.
>>37299384>>ywn have to deal with autistic screeching matches about their favorite childrens tv show>>ywn be okay with it because they're all cute lovable dorksPathetic.>ywn join them and call their husbando shit, SHIIIIT>ywn get called their husbando>ywn keep callin their husbando shitWhy live.
Mare, I love catfights. Do you think they'll make out?
>>37299979This ain't a cheap porn, filly. Grow up, this will only end with their manes pulled.
>>37299992I can't believe porn has lied to me.
>>37299976They mist have shit taste for liking someone like anon, but then anon must have shit taste for liking mares with such shit taste I did this with my neet gf once. I told her that her boyfriend is a fucking goblin. She proclaimed herself to be the goblin queen and demanded I go buy her soda and Cheetos
>>37297596>"... We shall see. But first, I want to know more about your meeting... And this Raven."So i wonder when Chrysalis is going to realise her son has got it BAD for the cute poner secretary.
>>37299999Quints of realization of universal truths.Neat.
>>37300020>spoilerThat sounds fucking wholesome and hilarious in the same time.Are you still with her?I wish my wife would be like that, but alas
>>37300040I am, tho she is no longer a neet. Started uni. Very proud of her.
>>37300020That sounds wholesome as fuck.
>QoC is kill>Game of Pones is killRevel in your suffering.
>>37300079So many writefriends, gone too soon...
>>37300055You can tell her that some random jackass from your favourite mongolian throatsinging forum is also proud of her.And I'm proud of you too, Anon! Changing someone's life for the better is no small feat, and yet you did it. Well done!
>>37300020>She proclaimed herself to be the goblin queenthe question then is thus, monster-goblin or waifu-gobbo?
>>37298754>Be Caramel>It was early in the morning, and you were wearing your favorite fluffy bathrobe>In a few hours you'd have to go to work and your boss would stare at your flank for half of your shift>Right now though, the sun had just come up, you were tired, and you desperately needed a cup of coffee>You made your way into your kitchen, ready to make a pot for you and the fellas when they all woke up>Turning the coffee machine on, you made your way over to the sink>That was when you saw it>The spicket was dripping water>Again>It wasn't super bad, but it was still a constant drip, drip, drip>A frown worked its way onto your face"This is the second time this month it's been acting up," you muttered to yourself>Reaching over, you twitched both knobs, hoping against hope that that would fix the problem>No dice>Your efforts were rewarded with drip, drip, drip>Darnit...>The mare you called in last time said she FIXED it>You were going to have to call her again...>As you crossed your arms, very upset, Anon came into the kitchen>He looked far less tired than you, despite you knowing for A FACT that he went to bed later than you>Maybe he was just a night owl?>It could have been a human think too"Morning, Anon," you said with a wave and a yawn>The giant smile>"It is being the goodest of mornings, friend Caramel," he said"Not that good I'm afraid," you said, pointing over toward the sink. "We have a leak. I'll have to call somepony to fix it.">Anon frowned, looking over to the sink>He walked over, brushing past you>Getting down onto his knees, he opened the sink doors and poked his head to look>A feat in itself, as the giant really had to contort hos body to do so>He looked around, then reached in with one of those massive mitts of his>There was a squeak, and by Celestia's holy throne the leaking stopped>"That's fixing the problem I think," he said, closing the sink doors before getting back up>You were floored"How... how did you do that?">"Eh? It was being the easy, Caramel," Anon replied. "I just needed to do the twistings to a nut. Very simple-easy.""That's AMAZING ANON!" you said, clasping your hands together>Anon's face scrunched up>"It was being a simple, as I was saying to you just now," he said. "I used to do fixings just like that in mother country. There I had to be using tools, while I can just be using my hands here.""So you can fix more things!?">"Yes?">You let out a squeal, grabbing Anon's hand and pulling him as hard as you could to toward the upstairs"In that case, can you take a look at the showerhead? It's been giving me so much trouble, and I'm sick of asking for the handymare to come around. What about electrical work? Do you know anything about that?">"Yes."
>>37300138>You squealed again, almost skipping towards the stairs>None of the other fellas knew a hammer from a hangnail in this house>Heck, neither did you if you were being honest>But if Anon wasn't full of horseapples, you might not need to call a handymare again!>You already didn't need to get a step ladder to change lightbulbs or get a ladder to clean out the gutters with him around, but if he can fix a sink and your shower?>Oh Celestia above you had the perfect housemate!"Then you and me have a lot of work to do before I go to work!"
>>37297372>However, all celestial bodies are real if you're outside Equestrian continent.This makes my head hurt.The only thing that makes sense to me is that the nation of equestria is under some giant dome or some other false sky situation, and tia and luna can change its default screen savor
>>37300176Thank you for phrasing it better than I did. Have a cute pone
>>37300147I really do hope we get some explanation for Anon's superhuman features. He seems to be aware of the change too, tho personally I would be a bit more worried if suddenly I was transported to pony land and suddenly gained mutant strength. Inb4 magic cancer tumours
>>37300176Or Equestria doesn't actually exist on the planet at all, but in an alternate dimension.
Colts, if the mares don't waterboard you at bathtime, do they really even love you?
>>37300138How would tightening a nut underneath the sink stop a leak from the faucet?I don't think that's how faucets work.
>>37300189I'll tighten your nuts eyyyyyy
>>37300125>spoiler What's the difference
>>37300194whereas most monsters can be attractive in their own way, monster-goblins (e.g the ones in Oblivion) are both too humanoid for that, and are often made to be disgusting in one way or another in that veingreenskin baby factories can be nice, but not when they have a pot-belly, emaciated limbs, and look like they've got all the diseases
>>37300194how the fuck did you get that permit? the bureaucracy is intentionally designed to make those impossible to get!
>>37300227Agree to disagree.
>>37300185How can you say you love your colt if you don't even help him shampoo?
>>37300185>not waterboarding yourself for neck gains
>>37300311>Anon gets caught on a situation of "domestic violence">He gets bushtuffed, pillowwiped, forced to please her constantly>"why hasn't he divorced me? does he think he can't get anything better?"
>>37300368>anon overhears that last question to herself"Honey, there's three reasons I stay. One: we actually sit down and talk out our differences like rational adults when things get serious.""Two is you ponies lack perspective on what human standards of abuse is.">"W-were you...?""Abused? No not me personally, but I've had two friends and an uncle get emotionally ruined , in the case of the uncle his kids turned against him, and no fault divorced because their 'special someone' found better or richer dick.">"That's awful.""Yep. Only reason I'm telling you this is because I can't stand seeing you beat yourself up over what you think is abuse.">"What's the third reason?""Your so called 'abuse' I find adorable and amusing, the 'forced' grooming makes my monkey brain go brrrrr, and as for all the sex... let's just say I'm making up for lost time.">Anon leans in and steals a kiss from his shocked wife."Love ya, honey.">"Y-you too."
>>37300658>forced groomingJust thinking about it makes me monkey brain go brrrrr. Do ponies prefer fine metal brushes or thick bristle brushes? Not including metal deshedding brushes, that's a given.
>>37299387>Floor Bored is actually rather attractive.>Her muzzle is angular and sharply defined, her face is so symmetrical that the it's perfect to the naked eye, her ears are round and just the right length, and her eyes and brow are set not too far and not too close.>Her body is in the very center of the golden ratio for mare attractiveness. Her withers are spaced enough that her front let's don't touch at rest, but aren't so far that she looks like a stallion. Her hips flare out gently, connecting to a well proportioned rump with a wide enough stance to let her healthy, earth-pony sized teats hang without being squished. >Her mane and tail are a deep, raven black with exquisite volume and texture. Her light beige coat pairs well with her mane color, and her snowy white underbelly that travels all the way between her hind legs is sure to stir envy in other mares. Her tuft is likewise large and fluffy, sure to draw eyes all around.>...Now if only her sloppy lifestyle didn't sabotage her.>Grease makes her mane and tail limp and oily, and her full tuft is matted and and uneven from filth and acne. Her coat, beautiful white belly included, has darkend into a sickly yellow from months of dried sweat. Some fat hides her stellar figure, and her lack of exercise and strange sleep schedule has left her hormones out of wack. The lingering smell of body odor goes without saying.>All of that working in tandem with her anxiety leaves her near the bottom of the romantic totem pole, meaning she's passed up even as a 5th or 6th choice.
>>37300871I want to help the neet be the pony I know she can be.
>>37298885Can I get a link to the fim fic version?
>>37300658I cant imagine what a mare would thing of other problems us male got apart of abuse, what would they think about depression, self harm, suicide, that feeling of being hopeless, losing the will to continue?
>>37300871I have the solution
>>37297110magic / she is her own K3 civilization.
>>37300997>she is her own K3 civilizationWhat a terrifying notion
Arrow 18 did a good job of explaining the Sun / Moon bit the Sisters could pull. For those that haven't read it, and you really should read it, they end up discovering that pony teleportation and human FTL technology work on the same principle, a sort of gravity manipulation and spatial tunneling that is facilitated by resonating at a certain frequency. The human astronaut tries to figure out how the Sisters can do what they can do and nails down that it's more or less the same thing, only they resonate at a very specific frequency and somehow they're able to bypass certain power requirements that should otherwise flatten them.Seriously, if you haven't read Arrow 18 on fimfic you really need to. It's on the short list of actual good fiction to come out of the pony community, which is to say that while it is a pony story it doesn't require ponies or being a pony fan to be enjoyable.Spoilers for those that haven't read it and want to.They later figure out that the Sisters and only the Sisters can pull off their solar / lunar trick due to the reasons above and that means that Chrysalis very nearly killed everyone on the planet by taking out the Sisters. She finds out at the same time everyone else does and she freaks out as much as everyone else and it causes her to engage in real reflection about who she is and that leads to positive change in the Changelings.
>>37300871>>37300928>Floorb somehow works up the courage to ask out a particularly flamboyant and blunt Anon>The worst he can say is 'no', right?"Oh my goodness, no. No, no, no. Not a chance. I mean, that's sweet but look at yourself. You're a wreck. Poorly groomed, no social skills, no social presence, you mutter, you stutter, you sputter, you reek, and you spent 15 minutes staring at my crotch before you came over here.">You were wrong. This is so much worse than 'no'>Merciful Celestia, please smite you where you stand"Yes, ma'am, you are just about hopeless. You'll need a miracle worker to fix you up. Even then it'll be tough. It'll take weeks, months, YEARS! So we'll need to get started TODAY!">Wait what?>Anon makes Floorb his new "project" a la Popular from Wicked https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1DQesqvqZc>Weeks of makeovers, training, and networking>Just a brutal popularity boot camp"Come on, just 15 more minutes and don't you dare slow passed a trot!""Puke? You're fiiiine. You're not gonna pu- Oh there she goes....""OK, Floor Bored. Take 5, grab some water. Don't take too long, though, you have a mineral scrub at the spa at 3!"I just really like the idea of Anon going native and becoming a pseudo queen bee type while still remembering where he came from.
>>37301213>Anon goes through all that effort>Floor goes from an unattractive nerd who games through the midnight>To an attractive nerd who games through the midnight>The moment he stops checking in on her for a week she's back to being a neet grease gremlin
>>37297596Eeeeeeee it's here
>>37297793Daybreaker is a dumb name and it's not canon
>>37300871>>Her muzzle is angular and sharply defined>mare looks like a lordy~
>"Hey Anon, I swear on my honor thst I will find you a marefriend."
>>37297793Those giant heart pupils.That's not love drunk that's Everclear Love Drunk, that's Anon with a broken pelvis love drunk.
>>37301656that cartoon was barely alive and is ancienthow did this word even crawl all the way out here?
>>37301661It's the magic of nearing the bump limit
>>37297596Raven's meeting with the in-law will be fun
>>37301661>"You dare to refuse my batchal? I will fucking cut you and then find you a marefriend"
>>37301687Does the rest of the hive count as in-law?Because Anon would probably introduce her to EVERYONE, and I'm wondering how they'd react.
>>37301735Would the rest of the hive count as his siblings or cousins?
>>37301583Fuck you, Daybreaker is a super cool name.
I prefer the old fanon name of Solar Flare, or Black Hole Sun
>>37300055Keep an Eye On her or she vil transforme into a manhating feminazi nigger apologist and you Will be wondering who this stranger is and where the sweet Girl went. I have seen it happe a lot over the past 7 years. Keep an eye on her bro… super cereal right here!
>>37301164>Arrow 18 did a good job of explaining the Sun / Moon bit the Sisters could pull.God, that's easily my favourite human-in-equestria fic. It's really really good.
>>37300189That's how you can tell that this was written by a stallion