Previous Thread: >>36815510GoogleDoc Archive: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gf8UOWR5eIfp8FqpAWt3EUrSCCocOWazrZlMiTJwAYsFauster's Story Archive: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XiJRe1NWl_kIoWsHssZ27BMV7bZAe1jgX59-dWggYkA/Uh-hmmm's Prompt Archives https://ponepaste.org/1046Remember not to save anything of value on pastebin.Have a broken pastebin link? Replace pastebin.com with poneb.in
First for Klabauterstute
>Oh Celestia Anon please don't look!
n° place for best noodle
>>36823993>BIG.jpg>that leakage.You're goddamn right.
>>36823993Wow, it's so seamless, as if she was there for the photoshoot!
I want to accompany mare to a cosplay con, her dressed as the legendary explorer Liz McLaren, and me as the bitey reed marten that she tamed.
>>36823993OH FUCK THEY MADE A MOVIE ABOUT OUR THREAD
>>36824056I want Cut to photoshop herself into my dick pic.
>Anon was mocked for years for pursuing science instead of magic>So he decides to become a science-based villain>Now the entire world trembles as he unleashes his greatest invention yet
>>36823993>ex-Yakuza-anon finds himself innaQuestria>Yare yare you have to deal with being on the reciprocating end of being cat called and molested>Dammit! Gropping hot chicks on the subways was my thing, not the other way around!>Doesn't help that the average pony is eye level with your crotch.>For the most part you're still a dangerous SOB, but RGRE really changed (you).>Often gets free drinks at the bars you frequents from mares interested in exotic colts>Next door neigh-(kek)-bor suggested that you get a mare roommate since ye-olde-laws prevent single stallions from doing certain things on their own>Book worm horse working a stressful office job finds your add and applies>Spill spaghetti on your doorstep cuz "m-m-muh monster colt fetish">Whatever, silly horses.>Cute nerdy roommate a total bro though, so you makes her lunches before she leaves for work. It's the least you can do since she files your taxes an' shit.>Friends with benefits with roommate during estrus season so she can focus on work for that sweet promotion.>Insists that she pays you, but you declined. Pop's didn't raise no ho.>Notice that she's been putting on a few pounds>You assume it's work from stress and offer to carry her since she always comments on her hooves hurting.>She insistently declines but you do it anyway as revenge. Maybe if you embarrass her enough in front of her coworkers, she'll stop eating your yakitori's.>Weird horses and their weird cravings.>Horsemate been packing the pounds with how fat she's been getting, not that you're complaining. Just means more cushion for the pushin.>Finally gets that promotions, plus a few months worth of payed vacation for her loyalty and conviction.>Also helps she was one of the few able to work during estrus season, atta girl.>She gifts you some neighponese merch and a katana. Weapon was obvious shit quality (not even folded one thousand times) but everything else was a nice touch.>She even got you a cute apron with your favorite Mane-ga characters.>It's been several months since then.>You've woken up a bit early to make wife breakfast and feed the foals.>Suddenly like lightning you have an epiphany>The ring on your finger>How the foals have your eyes and teeth>The family photos all around the house"Fucking ponies man. Bamboozled again."Pic related is from The Way of the Househusband manga. It's kinda RGR so some of yal horse fuckers might like it.
>>36824153>Be Twilight>You are currently hiding in the library basement>Anon has just defeated the entire royal guard using a slap chop>You feel another rumble>You're starting to regret making fun of Anon's science
>>36824160>"Hi, Anon Mays here with the Awesome Anus Auger!">Hmm maybe there is something to this silly colt "science" after all...
>>36824156>tfw no weeaboo mare to practice the blade with
>>36824160I want Wild Offer to clop my troubles away with the clop-chop.
>>36824160>"You're gonna love slappin' my nuts...">guards cry out and tremble in fear
>>36824160>>36824169>>36824180
>>36823976>Young Anonicorn thinks everyone follows what his mom says because she's the biggest and tallest.>Said mother gets a kick out of puffing herself up bigger and asking 'the small ones' (the maids) to serve lunch.>Laughter rings out from the dining hall as they crouch-walk back in with serving trays.>Cadance arrives during lunch to take him for a nap and playdate, but he acts grumpy and wants to stay with his momma, asking her to make them listen.>Being informed of the new rules of soverignty by Celestia, Cadence asks the nearby guard Shining to step over for a moment before promptly jumping on his back.>To his credit, he barely flinches as she steadies herself, although a faint blush dusts his cheeks.>Anons jaw drops to the floor as he looks between his boosted foalsitter and his mother, the latter shrugging helplessly.>His wings buzz as he tries to fly up and sit on his mommas head, but quickly tires out and falls into the grasp of her magic.>A quick nuzzle and shooshing later and he's passed over to Cadence, who settles him on her back before trotting off to the playroom.
>>36824180>"Please sir! Don't make me do it!">>"Its so easy! One hoof."
>>36824160A slap chop is a pretty good tool to be honest. I used (a cheap analogue) a lot before I got level 80 knife skills, and it's especially useful when you need super finely diced onions, but don't feel like crying a New Nile just yet.
>>36824185>Anonicorn was designed to be pegged in the ass>Graps the base of his wings for fuck handles>Plump from all the cake his mom gives him>Always in the maximum ass position due to being pony
>>36824186Behead all who insult Anonicorn.
>>36824207arent you the anon ranting about fucking catcolts bussy?
>>36824214>Anonicorn becomes the first Imam of RGRE IslamTruly the tide is unstoppable.
>>36824180>Anon becomes the world's first male dictator in Equestria>He becomes a worldwide stallionist icon
I love how this thread has gone full anonicorn to spite that one /ptfg/ fag.seethe harder.
>>36824221yes. you know a ponut is a real complex muscle? imagine the fuck.
>Be Fluttershy>You finally found it!>A copy of "Anonicorn, The Royal Shota", the forbidden doujinshi
>>36824156>be weeb mare>reminisce over how you got your husband>laugh to yourself"All according to keikaku."translators note: keikaku means plan
>>36824231>You know, there are a lot of mares out there who say stallionism is actively taking away or reducing their rights when infact, stallionism is the radical concept that stallions are ponies too
>>36824231>Do you think Anonymous effectively utilized colt power by funneling money into illegal paramilitary death squads in Northern Griffonstone?
>>36824221"All of the rich CEOs who say money doesn't matter should be forced to donate 50% of their net worth to charity">Filthy rich begins sweating profusely
>In Equestria, all moral codes are swapped>So are the ways of expresing delight and disgust>Anon has not been informed of this>He unintentionally becomes Equestria's greatest villain
>>36824241>They say if you read it under Celestia's sun, she'll strike you with a bolt of pure sunshine, toasting you instantly.
Come on, guys. finish out the old thread first.
>>36824272Step 1: Get a copy of "Anonicorn, The Royal Shota"Step 2: Make an umbrella of breadStep 3: Read "Anonicorn, The Royal Shota"Step 9: Profit
>>36824284Never. We'll just fill this one up with literally hundreds of shitty, autistic posts until all the sensible people get fed up and leave. Then...something good will happen, I assume.
>Anon is having a bad day.>The power at his place went out, meaning he woke up late due to the alarm not going off, and sweaty because his AC was off most of the night.>And now he's running late for work.In his haste, he practically trips over a pony, and in his anger, shouts, "Watch where you're going!">The mare, who had hardly flinched from the impact, turns to look at him, and he freezes.>He recognize her from the newspapers.>Tempest Shadow, or something.>A terrorist turned reformed citezen who could go toe to toe with the princesses.>Crap."Ah, I-I'm sorry. That was my fault. I'm just-" >"You've got guts talking to me that way colt, but it's still going to cost you.""I really don't want any trouble.">"Wallet.">Anon blinks, but shakily takes out his wallet."Y-yeah, of course. I don't have much, but you can have the money-">She snatches the wallet out of his grip with a glare.>"Don't patronize me," she growls, opening the thin wallet and looking it over.>She takes out the ID.>"You're Anonymous?""Yes?">"And this is your current address?""Y-yes...">"Good, now I know where you live so I can come by tomorrow.""Why would you need to do that?">"To pick you up at eight sharp. Dress nice for our date. Maybe something that shows off that tight flank.""Hey, I didn't agree to a da-">"You can have the ID back after I take you home and get a goodnight kiss. See you then.">Then she tosses the wallet into his hands and walks away."Ah...">She's already around the corner before he has time to come up with a response.>... Shit, who's going to cover his shift tomorrow?
>>36824400Chedpest Shadow
Post your favorite anonicorn greens. I dont know what any of this shit is about but I want to learn before it falls completely out of style and is forgotten
>>36824502Prince Anon > Retardicorn
>>36824502Fuck off.
>>36824552Seethe
>>36824502Anonicorn will never be forgotten because it's an elaborate shitpost. That's all its ever been and, as you've seen, that's all it's ever used for.
>>36824552Why do you think this will work? have you ever stopped posting something when you found out it makes some anon really angry? you're encouraging people to shitpost, dickhead
>>36824502Not RGRE enough "the prompt".
>>36824502the >"I'd replace me." onehttps://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/34495699/#34504315https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/34508819/#34513009
>>36824502Anonicorn started herehttps://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/34446693/#q34450697Maybe I will make a ponepaste with all his promps and green when I get some time
>>36824588>>36824597>>36824601Oh good. I thought I would only receive screaming retards in response after the first few.I'm going to slam all of these
>>36824597Fug, messed up on the second link.Anyways, Engie made a running list a while back with links to various bins. That may help to get you started if you do decide to go find the various prompts/stories.https://pastebin.com/uAMWz06Khttps://poneb.in/uAMWz06K
>>36824601thx
>>36824609>>36824608>>36824630Also, I don't think Engie put in any of the recent Anonicorn baking prompts in his running list. I believe Comfy has a currently running story: https://ponepaste.org/4467And there was the baking prompt that kicked off Comfy's story a few weeks back with a funny one post prompt of Pinkie obsessing over Anonicorn's baking.https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/36719840/#36733116https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/36719840/#36733512
Reposting the first Anonicorn promp for the ocassion>Somewhere out there, an Anon lives a short and hard life.>Born an orphan and going his whole miserable childhood to 18 without being adopted, Anon grows from a fragile, lonely child into a jaded man.>He'd often gaze up at the ceiling of his shitty apartment from his bed, wondering what happened to his family. Did they not want him? Are they dead? He didn't bother looking, not wanting to break the fragile hope that he wasn't thrown away like trash.>Then one day, a drunken truck driver ran a red light and smashed into Anon's car while on his way to his dead-end factory job, killing him instantly.>The split second before the truck hit him, Anon wondered if karma was real, and if the afterlife would cut him a break.>No one mourned him, and he was forgotten.->Anon tries to open his eyes, but finds that he can't.>Distant voices speak a language he's never heard, seemingly far away from the warm, comforting chamber he's found himself in.>It doesn't matter. After the crash, rest sounds nice. He can investigate later.>He returns to slumber.->"Well..." The castle's head doctor scratches her head. "I don't know what to say Princess. This defies all forms of medical knowledge and magic I know. It seems to have been utterly spontaneous, but the test results are all coming back positive. Congratulations, Princess. You're pregnant!">Celestia blinks and lets her jaw drop, royal decorum out the window.>The tiny purple unicorn sitting off to the side can't contain herself anymore and bounces to her hooves with a blinding grin. "Princess Celestia is gunna have a foal!" Little Twilight almost squeals in delight. She bounces up and grabs the hooves of a startled stallion nurse, pulling the nurse into a little dance with her.>Celestia looks over to her apprentice of one week, her excitement pulling the alicorn from her shock.>Slowly, a wondrous warmth slowly fills her, and the princess feels herself smile, wide and true.>She's been given a miracle.
what the fuck happened to make this general so fast
>>36824677concentrated autism
>>36824677Muh anonicorn faggotry x1000
>>36824677Shitposting. See: >>36824675
>>36824677someone got buttmad over retardicorn and now everyones posting it
>Twilight during a (purely for scientific reasons™) physical of Anon notices the small chest tuft Anon has and believes he suffers from a lack of testosterone and therefore proscribed him supplements.>She neglects to tell him what the proscription does opting to say it’s magic balancing pills.>Twilight does this for two reasons one she does not want to describe to a stallion the biological necessity of hormone balancing and two she thinks saying that she finds his chest tuft unappealing will hurt her chances of getting laid>Anon not wanting to risk magical fuckery takes the pills and all continues on like normal>A month later he starts to notice slightly more muscle definition and hair growth as well as the desire to wear a wife beater and call everyone “brah”>the mares of ponyville can only look on as Anon slaps the flanks of stallions telling them to lift together and wonder if liking Anon’s now visible chest tuft makes them a dyke
are we already arguing about Anonicorn again? Holy shit, give it some time guys.
If we are bring Anonicorns back, can we at least bring the one good thing associated with him too ?
>>36824677The people who like Anonicorn and the people who hate it are going at it again. Some retard is going around telling people to seethe again as well. It actually doesn't seem to be slowing down, worryingly.
>>36824789
>Anon was a veteran of WW3/Societal Collapse/Armageddon/all of the above.>But rather than be some /k/ommando badass, he was just a frightened man who had the luck to learn quickly and the resolve to survive, if barely.>Starvation, disease, fights with man and nature, the cruelty of other people, Anon prayed to God for it to end. More than once, he debated turning his gun on himself only to falter.>He both did and saw awful things, things that keep him awake at night. His friends and family are gone and dead now, leaving just him.>He's not going to Heaven. Not anymore. He knows it. >As he lays down to sleep in a building that is little more the rubble one night, he prays again for things to get better.>When he next opens his eyes, he's in RGRE.>And he was wrong about himself. This is Heaven. It must be. It was the first time in years his tears were from joy. >It doesn't take long before he's accepted by the nearest town, and finally feeling content, he settles in for a life of peace as a foalsitter with sedate oddjobs here and there.>But ponies can sniff out hurt like bloodhounds, and a hurting stallion sticks out like a sore hoof.>Even if he's an alien, they can tell he's a little too lean, too thin.>They're hidden well, but it only takes one pony to notice a scar or two before the grapevine learns of it.>Everyone loves a hug when feeling down, but Anon seems glum too often and savors any contact like he's never felt such affection.>The young colts and fillies in town are even more keenly aware that SOMETHING is wrong with their tallest minder, even if they can't see the exact signs as the adults can.>It paints a disquieting picture about the strange stallion who wandered into their lives one day.>Some want to chase what ails him away, while others want to respect his privacy and not ask.>But they all want to know, and want him to be well.
>Be Anon, having finished playing basketball with Dash and Spitfire in your new shorts>The first time, they were filthy cheaters, launching with a flap of their wings and hovering to block your shot>The watermark of Air-bud superimposed itself over your vision as they explained there wasn't a rule against flying>Under threat of bringing Twilight on your team, they agreed to having their wings bound>They acted kinda funny the next time, sniffing at your belts as you fastened them around their wings and barrel>They still had mad jumping skills, since pegasi only weigh a quarter pounder, but they couldn't hover and that is what's important>When you sat down for a water break, you noticed them eyeing your shorts for some reason>For the rest of the time you were playing, you kept picking up moments where they would try and look up your shorts>It's... not a bad feeling, but you feel like teaching them a lesson>Rarity was ecstatic to work on your design, perhaps because of the diamond motif?>You wonder if you accidentally flirted with her>Regardless, you told the pegasi you were going to take a nap after the latest game, and settled down on the grass>It's disappointing how quickly they start nosing around>After five minutes, you can feel their breaths on your thighs>The stiff material shifts as they push closer to your crotch>Okay, that's enough"Boo!">The mares yelp and try to back out, but your shorts constrict, trapping their snouts against your thighs"Caught you red handed!">The mares are blushing and making muffled alarmed horse noises, flapping their wings>To your alarm, you feel yourself start to lift off>Dash and Spits frantically take to the skies rump first while you dangle from their snouts"Hey! Stop that!">No use>They are panicking, eyes rolling back in their heads>As the three of you climb higher and higher, you just accept it>This is how you go, dying from dumb horses caught in a chinese pervert trap shorts>You barely clear the rooftop to an apartment building when it happens>The mares crash into the wall of the roof access, their snouts pushing deep into your shorts and jostling your balls a little painfully
>>36824876>Finally released, you fall about a foot onto your back and grunt in pain>You really didn't think this through>You sit up slowly, watching the mares come to their senses"You two are the worst.">Rainbow laughs nervously>"Haha, sorry, I just wasn't thinking.">Spits nods >"As her superior officer, I will accept all responsibility for injuries you received in this...accident.">You raise an eyebrow"What about sexually assaulting me in my sleep?">She pales and swallows>"I-uh, I'll take full responsibility, or if you don't want that, I'll hoof the bill for your wedding, as well as whatever you think is necessary.">You shake your head"Why did you even do it in the first place? I thought we were friends.">Spits and Dash slump guiltily>Dash swallows>"Well, you were wearing shorts. That's pretty much an invitation.">You aren't impressed>Spitfire looks at you skeptically>"You weren't trying to tease us with baggy clothes that leave too much to the imagination?">You facepalm"No, no I was not.">Rainbow stares at you in confusion>"Then why were you wearing shorts every time we hung out?">You shrug"They're comfy and easy to wear."
>>36824884>They're comfy and easy to wearLook at this based boomer
>>36824910
>>36824916>Twilight babysiting prince Anon as part of her training
>>36824910A bit ironic to have pinky of all ponies saying that.
>>36824946>PinkySeeing this a lot more often. Wonder why that is.
>>36824947Tourism.
>>36824947A) PhonepostersB) Tourists (most likely. RGRE was already an active general, it only makes sense it'd attract em)C) Brainfart
>>36824947summer's almost here
>>36824966>it hasn't been eternal summer since the coof hit last year
>>36824892>boomer>tfw not even 30 and think thatjust fucking kill me now before the cravings for energy drinks start
>>36824984Jeebus, if that's a boomer thing then I've been a boomer since I was 12. Fuck fashion, I wear what's comfortable.
>>36824013Excellent taste.
>>36824677Transformation faggots invading since their threads suck.
>ywn be gifted bushels of lavender by a cute moonhoers as part of an ancient courting ritualwhy live?
>>36825041here you are
>>36824013>>36825039There should be more drawings of Anon and Eris.
>Discord and Eris are the same entity but assumes a masculine form around ponies to take advantage of their gender preconceptions
>>36825112I like Filly Anon though...
>>36825125That's because you, like your taste, a shit.
>>36825125then sort your shit out before I piss your pants
>>36825135I dunno man, you're the one tolerating something dumb like an Alicorn anon; that's like twice as bad as an anon simply being turned into a pony.>>36825137My heart and actions are utterly unclouded. They are all those of "RGRE".
>>36824709
>>36825147>rob liefeldNigga can't draw proportions worth shit.
>>36825151Neither can the artist I linked.
>>36825155No arguments there.
>>36825124>The first time Discord was turned to stone he let himself be defeated while appearing as male to make the princesses seem like abusive madmares >"how could they do that to a poor colt" was a common thing to hear even with all the chaos that he had caused still fresh on everyone's minds>Luna tried to argue back the loudest, saying how they had fought against Discord while he was Eris most of the time, but the common ponyfolk wouldn't have that and their opinion on Luna worsened even more.>This was the direct cause for the bias against the night and the start of Luna's descent into darkness>Celestia decided to play the long game and wait for Eris to become just a legend and for every pony to forget he ever actually existed>After Discord was freed the second time, he stayed as Eris now since she was facing the Male6 and she couldn't pull off the same trick twice. She did fall to her own preconceptions and that's how she was surprised and defeated again.
>>36825232>anon lands in equestria>looks for a job and ends up being a social worker>his first case is a mare with an unfortunate case of tourettes
>>36824221He ain't the only one...
>>36824910Twilight looks incredibly sexy in that
>>36825367You know that thats the male version of twi right?
>>36825488You know that's the girl Twilight, right?
>>36825491>>36825488A holes a hole and a pone is a pone
I warned you.In A Better Light: Sc.5&6First update: https://ponepaste.org/4533Previous update: https://ponepaste.org/4535>Fancy Pants is home tonight.>That doesn’t mean you must be too.>Those nights you don’t have to be your brothers’ minder are nights you can go to seedier places, where proper stallions shouldn’t find themselves.>For example, the place you are approaching now.>A little hole in the wall tavern outside Canterlot Palace.>Stocked with all the finest and not-so-fine spirits and booze from all around the world>All diplomats and their staff in the capital congregate there to unwind>Naturally, stallions should stay as far away from that wretched hive as possible.>Except the ones indulged in the trade themselves, you suppose. Already too far gone, along with the eye-candy employees.>If the average citizens of Canterlot knew all the people with secrets to keep who met here, a place anyone could just walk in, you’d be out of a “job”>Fortunately for you, many things in this world are hidden in plain sight.>As you enter the door, you scan the night’s clientele for potential->Stars beyond.>Maybe you won’t be trawling for information tonight.>You spy Raven sitting at a table near the back, staring at half a drink like she doesn’t know what to do with it.>Friends come first.>She only looks up at you as you take a seat across from her.>”Hello, Fleur.”“Bonsoir, Raven!”>You wave hoof towards her glass.“How many have you had?”>”One.” She looks back down, and tilts her head. “And a half.”“Finish it.”>”Pardon?”>You wave your hoof at her glass again, harsher this time.“We’re not going to talk until you’ve finished it.”>She looks back down at her glass, sighs, then lifts it with her magic and tips its contents down her throat.“Good! That’s a good start.”>You flag a waiter down, who approaches promptly.“Put her drinks on my tab, then get me a couple of the usual.”>You pause a moment, then look back to Raven.“Have you had anything else yet?”>She shakes her head, bemused.>You turn back to the waiter.“A pitcher of water, too.”>He nods, then heads off quickly>Raven watches him leave. “Waitstaff here does not act that quickly for other patrons.”“Ever-observant. I could use you here on my usual nights, you know. Then they’ll act like that for you too; the perks of being a regular.”>She shakes her head and looks back at her now-empty glass. “You know I cannot do what you do well.”“C’est n’importe quoi! We both do the same thing, I just do it in a much less formal capacity. Our job, in either case, is to know things. I know, for example, you don’t conduct business here. So what brings you in, this fine night?”>Raven looks back down at her now-empty glass, considering your question. “A colleague told me to relax.”“Did they? And you listened? That is an interesting fact all of its own!”
>>36825670>The waiter returned as quick as he had answered your initial call, putting an empty glass before each of you, then a pitcher of water in the middle of the table, followed by two full glasses on your side.“Merci bien!”>He pauses, then gives you a short nod and hurries off.>”Do you think he understood?”“If one of the most ancient unicorn establishments in this ancient unicorn city cannot find waiters who know the ancient unicorn tongue, I worry for the future of our great nation. We need at least one place we can refrain from the common creole.”>”We speak in that ‘common creole’ even now.”“We don’t have to! Surely any unicorn in this finest of establishments could carry a conversation with us.”>”You and I demonstrate far greater fluency than the average unicorn today.”“C’est pas vrai!”>“I suspect even the tavernkeep cannot understand it.”“We talk in it all the time. You may be right about the waiters though. Stallions.”>You give one of the full glasses to Raven, and follow it with a knowing look.“Drink, then tell me; was it a stallion who sent you here?”>Raven looks between the glass she’d last emptied, then the new full one, and sighs.>She takes a sip and looks back at you. “Of a sort.”“Of a sort? What’s that mean?”>”The Adjutant would not, strictly speaking, meet the definition of ‘stallion’.”“Ahhh, the human told you to take a night. And you listened, ça alors!”>”I have not had a night to myself in some time.”“It shows. You hardly know what to do with yourself! I suppose this is the first time you’ve kissed a spirit this year.”>”Easily.” She takes another sip, while you slug down half your glass. “Multiple years, I think.”“And to think you’re indulging now, while he does the work you should be doing. Raven, where is your sense of duty?”>She pins her ears. “We work for different rulers; he does his job, not mine.”“Ah, relax, a jest. If that rankles you, you need to drink more.”>She relaxes, albeit slowly, and takes another few sips as requested.“Better. What a sorry state you’re in, when you don’t even know what to do with yourself on a night off.”>She stared into her glass, without answer.>You, meanwhile, polish off your drink.“Good thing you have me around. When was the last time you attempted to enjoy yourself?”>More silence.“That long? Figures.”>”I could complete other tasks with this time.”“Raven, dear, what about living?”>”I live to serve.”“You take that oath far too literally.”>She’s quiet for another few moments, then says much more quietly, ”I have nothing else.”“Maybe we should change that.”>She looks up at you, something between confusion and hopelessness crossing her face.“How about this; tell me about Anonymous. I want to know more about the one who even THE Raven Inkwell obeys.”>”I know you trade in secrets. I shouldn’t be giving out… details.”
>>36825681“I’m not interested in taking from a friend, and for all our jobs may occasionally put us at odds, we’ve been friends since fillies. So how about, instead, you give me your opinions of him.”>Raven takes another sip – much longer, this time – and shakes her head. “If you dislike my approach to work, you will hardly find him any better.”“That just makes it all the more important I know who he is, if he has such influence over you.”>”You sound as if he and I date.”>A grin flits across your face for only an instant.“Those words came from your mouth, not mine.”>”Only for how you act. He does not hold my interest in that manner.”“Then what about him does interest you? Obviously something does.”>”He works hard. He considers loyalty important, even if muddled. Something haunts him, I know not what, but he escapes it with selfless service.”“You respect him because he’s a reflection of yourself?”>”Nothing haunts me. You of all ponies should know, considering you know all ponies.”>You let your earlier grin return, in a muted form.“That just means I may know something about you that you don’t.”>”The less aware of whatever haunts me I remain, the easier I sleep, then.”“Enfin, nothing comes to mind.”>”In a way, yes, the same qualities I strive for he also attempts to meet.”“Is he as loathe to enjoy himself?”>She pauses again to take another drink. “I do not know. Perhaps. I think rather he wants to enjoy himself, but fears to.”“An interesting take. Do you think you could introduce us? I would like to meet the one you find so compelling.”>”I do not find… Yes. I could do that.”“Merveilleux! Now finish that drink, and we’ll have another.”>You pour two glasses of water from the pitcher.“We’re going to make sure you enjoy yourself this evening, by the stars above or below.”* * *“She cannot see you.”>The dragon – fortunately not too large – snarled. “I was promised an audience, and I was promised it tonight.”“The Princess is occupied with a matter of extreme import.”>The dragon looks to the closed doors to the great hall at your back, then once again to you. “Are these not her usual hours of court?”“They are.”>”Then she denies even her own people with this… matter.”“No. She attends to them in ways she cannot afford to be distracted.”>The dragon smirks, but it doesn’t look any prettier than his snarl. “Oh? Howso?”“That is a state secret.”>A snort. “Is it? As if I’d care about any nocturnal dalliances.”>Your right hand drops to your sword, idlyfondling the preposterously large gem in the pommel.“If you leave peacefully now, I will consider forgetting certain remarks.”>The six night guards also in front of the Great Hall doors – Tene not one of them, as she’s on break when you’re exercising your responsibilities as part of the Night Court – shift their stances with you, three on either side.
>>36825683>The dragon sweeps his gaze across all of you, one side to the other and back again, before drawing his head up and huffing. “I will take you up on that; never let it be said I am not a creature of courtesy, willing to shrug off even the most egregious insults. Another time, then, Adjutant Anonymous.”>The dragon turns smartly for something as hefty as he, and paces off with little more than a flick of his tail.>The Night Guards around you relax, and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.>”Could have been messy, Adjutant,” one of them finally says, as you finally take your hand off your sword.“Quite.”>”Would’ve been hard to get you out of here if you were the one who picked a fight, Adjutant.”>You look over to the speaking Night Guard. Like so many of her kind in dim lighting, she’s not looking at you, but has an ear quirked in your direction.“I wouldn’t have let you ‘get me out of here’.”>”That would’ve made it even harder Adjutant.”>You say nothing, returning your gaze to the far end of the long hall that approached the throne room.>The dragon wasn’t the first petitioner you had to direct away from the throne room, after Luna abruptly canceled Court for an urgent nightmare situation, but he was certainly the most important, and also the most rude.>The occurrence wasn’t common but it also wasn’t unique.>For reasons likely related to politeness and etiquette, non-ponies can’t know Luna’s true abilities, even though her sister’s unique magic is widely recognized.>One of the most important parts of your duties, as far as you were concerned, is insuring everything runs smoothly when she’s attending to that higher calling.>One of these days, you’ll find a polite yet firm way to dissuade petitioners without having to suffer sass over it.>You turn back to the guard who spoke.“How late is the hour?”>”Dunno. Sometime around midnight.”“Very precise, thank you.”>”Don’t mention it, Adjutant.”“For you, I won’t.”>Maybe the discipline needs some work, around here.>Down the hall, without warning, the flames dim, flicker, then wink out.>Lights sputter and die in sequence, all the way down to the hall to where you stand, finally engulfing you in darkness.>Your eyes adjust quickly enough, and the guards beside you quicker still you know, but other ponies would have a much tougher time.>Something was wrong.>The guards – your guards – however, don’t respond.“What’s going on?”>You look back to the guard who spoke.>Her ears swivel a bit, then resume their usual positions of one ahead and one on you. “Routine, boss, nothing to worry about.”>Definitely needs some discipline work.“Routine WHAT?”>The guard effects a shrug. “Just what they’re saying down there. Other guards.”>”I don’t hear anything.”“Higher than that.”>You stomp forward, down the darkened hall, and away from the door.“Maybe they’ll be more forthcoming with answers, then.”
>>36825687>”B-but Adjutant, what about your post?” You hear another guard stammer out behind you.“My post is the palace,” you call back, though don’t stop or turn. “And I’m going to find out what’s going on in it.”>It’s dark in either direction at the junction at the far end, so you turn the direction leading to the entrance.>Halfway down the next large hall, you hear a snort, followed by a low, rumbling laugh. “What happened to forgetting?”>You stop, turn, and face a hulking shadow of a presence.>To your credit, you don’t even flinch.“I said I’d consider. Maybe I decided I wouldn’t. Is this dark your doing? I will not tolerate further threats to Her Majesty’s security.”>The dragon leaned forward, his head just poking out of the gloom of his side corridor, his face alone illuminated in moonlight. “No, but I wouldn’t mind taking advantage of it. With friends you may have been a challenge, but I know how these ponies pamper their males.”>You grab your sword, and say a quick prayer as you draw and fall into a guard.“Come, then. Grant me the privilege of honoring Saint George.”>The dragon bared his many large teeth, but just as he started slinking forward you could see a flash dart across his eyes.>He paused, then looked towards the palace entrance, upon which the light returned to his eyes and stayed.>You held your defensive stance as he plucked a gem from one of his bracelets and tossed it behind him.>Instead of falling to the floor once it completed its arc through the air, it instead looped back down and around, forming a rough circle which burst to light with a sickly glow.>He looks back to you, then your sword, and starts muttering; ”Many fear me but few know me. I’m covert yet capital, fatal but finicky. I arrive unexpected the first time you see. I’m constantly searched for where I’m believed to be. In truth I’m a gravest enemy.”>Your sword’s grip suddenly becomes red hot, and though you stifle a cry, you can’t help but drop it.>Stunned as you are, you can only hear it clatter to the floor, as the dragon takes advantage of your now-disarmed state to turn and flee through the portal.>It winks out once he’s gone, leaving just the gemstone on the floor.>After a moment of silence, you finally relax, then test the grip of your sword.>Cool, as if it was never an issue in the first place.>After sheathing it – carefully- you reach down, hesitate, then decide to pick up the gemstone.>It seems perfectly inert.>You pocket it, shake yourself of the encounter, then continue down the hall.>Hoofsteps ring out before you reach the next intersection, so you modify your step to be silent, something ponies can’t do.>Before you reach it, a pony comes into view.>Two, actually; one is carrying another on its back.>Her back, from the looks of it; and she has a physique more like the Princesses than other unicorns.>Both of them having white coats makes them fairly easy to tell even with the lights out.>Wait a minute, is that-
>>36825690“You! Stop right there!”>The slender unicorn stops, then quickly adjusts her stance when a quietly snoring Raven Inkwell threatens to slide off her back. The band of gems around her neck tinkle as she slowly turns her head to face you.“What are you doing with that mare?”>”Ah, I’m… returning her.”>The answer’s so ridiculous that it takes you a moment to formulate a response.“What, as if you borrowed her?”>As far as you can tell in the gloom, her expression brightens.>”You could say that, yes!”“Put her down at once.”>The unicorn complies, using her magical grasp to arrange Raven in a somewhat dignified pose as she slides the slumbering mare off her back and to the floor. “You know, Anonymous, this is not like how I imagined our first meeting. At least it’s sooner than I’d hoped!”“You sound too excited for me to take any comfort in that. Where were you taking her?”>”I told you, I was returning her! To her quarters, of course. As you can see, she’s had a bit of a time.”>You crouch down to inspect Raven, but can find nothing wrong with her outwardly.>Deep down, you feel a relief corresponding to a worry you hadn’t been aware of.“She’s typically very punctual, and very, uh, alert.”>”I take full responsibility for her present state. And I was carrying out that responsibility, until you stopped me.”>You eye the tall unicorn again.“Yes, of course.”>Then turn back down the hall.“GUARDS!”>The first responders came from the direction of the throne room; the two who had spoken to you earlier. They skid to a stop before you. “Yes, sir?”“I want you to – carefully – get Miss Inkwell to her usual quarters. Before you go, though, is this mare familiar to you?”>One of them barely spares the unicorn a glance while the other starts tugging at Raven. “That’s Dame de Lis, sir. We know her.”“Do you, now?”>You turn back to Dame de Lis yourself.>“Yes, sir. She’s, uh, she’s why the lights are out. Uh, sir.”“So other guards are in on this flagrant breach of security?”>“Er. Yes. Sir.”“Excellent. I want a report on my desk by the end of the night about these… lighting protocols you have for certain intruders. A detailed one.”>”Yes, sir.”“If I don’t have it, and it doesn’t satisfy me, I’ll personally see you reassigned to the most thankless job I can contemplate.”>”Of course, sir.”“Get Miss Inkwell out of here.”>You wave off the guards, and then extend the gesture to the Dame.“You too. Out of here. If their report does not paint you in the most flattering light, expect to get a visit from me tomorrow, wherever you live.”>You expected a cowed expression, or even just a wince.>Instead you get a beaming smile. “Absolutely! I look forward to it, Adjutant!”>She turns and departs, with a gait you could almost describe as bouncy.
>>36825691>You shake your head, then turn back to the throne room. They’ll need you even more, now that they’re two guards down.>You feel the gemstone in your pocket.>Ah,yes. You’ll have to offload that onto somepony too.>You never signed up for this.>But you’ll do whatever duty was required of you.* * *I don't have update-leader graphics for Raven yet, sorry.New updates will be in Ponepaste only.https://ponepaste.org/4537Interesting to see they increased the post character count. Updates will feel shorter, I guess.Sorry I was gone for so long, but no promise this is some sort of grand return.
>>36825698It took you THAT long just to post this? Desu, I've been expecting a lot more than this.
>Anonicorn always takes time out of his day to make sure the staff and guard in the castle know they are appreciated and valued, talking about their day and going around with batches of treats he's baked, etc.>This makes him a magnet for changelings, and word gets around to go visit the prince if they ever need a snack.>None of them tell the queen out of fear she'd do something stupid like order him captured.>When the invasion happens a small squad break off to go keep him out of danger while disguised as guards.>Decide to set up in the kitchen with other staff that managed to escape the attacks, and he suggests they make some food 'for when mom sorts all this out.'>Hidden bugs start sweating nervously when Anon notices two of them accidently disguised as the same pony.>Thankfully interrupted when some idiot ant-brains who dont remember the code phrases decide to attack their small party.>Not thankfully, they showed off their shapeshifting and now the prince is confronting the two that had the same disguise, even though one of them tried to change in the confusion.>"I only have one question and i want it answered honestly.">They gulp nervously at the authority in his voice.>"Chewy or Fudge brownies? Nopony ever tells me which one they like better.">Nonplussed, they look at each other before one of them responds."Fudge can hold more love?">"Really? Great! I'll be sure to remember that, thanks.">He suddenly hugs the changeling, focusing on the gratitude for protecting everypony in the room and tossing in some of his affection for mom too.>The guard falls over the moment he lets go.>"Err, are they going to be okay?""They'll be fine, just a sudden overdose.">"Oh, alright, how many of you are there?>Silence."Okay, that was a dumb question, can one of you go check on Auntie and bring her here? She's probably sleeping through this.">He levitates a fruitbowl with pineapples over.>"You'll need this, she gets cranky when woken up so early.">Later, when the tied up changelings are blasted away by some sort of magic wall, it somehow phasing them through the physical walls in the way, his 'personal guard' look at each other in confusion before looking at him for orders.>"That felt like cousin Cadence, i think its time for you all to sneak out before we have any more misunderstandings.">They glance nervously at a glaring Princess Luna looming behind his shoulder, slowly chewing through a watermelon as if it were an apple.>"Oh! And dont forget your brownies, i made a few for each of you.">Feeling silly, they line up to recieve a hug and small paper bag before flying out the window.>The last disappears right as some actual guard burst through the doors.>Luna, still glaring, spits a pip into half full bowl next to her before barking orders at the guard.>She thought her nephew miraculiously dodged the tendency for stallions ( and her sister) to be so whimsical, but now she sees it merely manifests in spectacular fashion.
>>36825698Cute update, interesting use of dragon magic.>New updates will be in Ponepaste only.I hope that doesnt mean you'll stop posting them here.
>>36824857Okay this is already not bad because Anon isn't badass. >>36824947Wait, that's how Plenka's name is spelled, no?
>>36825690>”Many fear me but few know me. I’m covert yet capital, fatal but finicky. I arrive unexpected the first time you see. I’m constantly searched for where I’m believed to be. In truth I’m a gravest enemy.”'A Surprise' ?
>>36825704Nobody is more disappointed in my lack of output than I am.>>36825716Here and ponepaste. Just meant I'm discontinuing updating to Pastebin. I will continue to keep things there until I've moved everything over, which I'll do each time I update a story, and then all the misc prompts last.>dragon magic.Not exclusively dragon magic. It's combined with a species-specific magic that will play a big part in BTFB so I decided to try it out.>>36825726'Surprise' is not what that incantation invokes. You'll see.I'm not sure I'm any good at crafting riddles, but per the last spoiler, I'll need to learn fast if I'm not
>>36825735Yay, much prefer reading green in post format, ponepaste is nice but nothing beats a fresh green.>spoilers.Aw yiss, love this kind of shit.
>>36825698I want Raven to deny that she finds me compelling.
>>36825713Imagine being so stallionine that you seduce enemy soldiers into defection.I bet Anonicorn could launch a thousand ships.
>>36825698>Raven greenFuck yeahbtw, are there any other anon and raven greens? besides that one in /kinder/ and the cringe one on FimFiction
>>36825778Sadly not that I've found, although she's briefly appeared in Anonicorn prompts ITT.More raven is always good.
>Anon deeply, desperately wants to be a secret agent for a queen>He's convinced he's stealthy enough to get past most ponies and other beings>Chrysalis sends him on carefully selected missions>To "steal critical documents" (get the newest manega releases)>To "sabotage enemies of the crown" (hide a whoopee cushion at Cadance's place at the dinner table)>To "seduce important ponies to sway their allegiance" (romance Chrysalis while she's in disguise)>All throughout, Chrysalis has no less than six changelings guarding and subtly aiding him in his endeavors
I Gove the thread an hour before devolving to total shit...I come back and now it seems I was being genererous.
>>36825906Edit:Jesus Christ my auto correct got fucked.
>>36824984>>36825015No, you soitarded zoomers. In G1 pokemon red/blue there are trainers called 'YOUNGSTER's you fight and the npc dialogue for the first one is "I like shorts! They're comfy and easy to wear."
>>36825773>Changelings start hanging around the prince more often, usually as part of his guard retinue or kitchen staff.>Standing orders to keep eyes on them but otherwise leave them be, since they DID protect the prince during the invasion.>Luna catches them one night in the halls carrying off a noblemare tied up with green goo.>That same mare she saw very obviously trying to seduce her nephew earlier that evening during a fancy ball they were all forced to attend.>She'd subtly checked if the unicorn was simply a more daring changeling, but it turns out bitdigging isnt just a colty thing nowadays, huzzah for modern progress.>Oh right, the blatent foalnapping.>"Oh dear, it appears i'm sleepwalking again, snore, snore.">The 'guards' snap off a salute, before continuing on their way.
>>36825930>In time, Anonicorn becoming a changeling king.>Impregnates droners every day, uses his vast knowledge of theoretical thaumics to create new designer body types.>His magnum ponus is a treeling - an organism that can photosynthesize and share its energy with the hive.>Having solved the ling food crisis, he quickly steamrolls all the other hives with his long spear behemoth ~~gfs~~ guardlings and becomes THE changeling king.
>>36825155Tell me about it
>>36825698IT'S ENGIE
>>36825909god fucking damnit zoomers are the worst, gen 3 was my first pokemon game and I still know the "shorts are comfy and easy to wear" trainer
>>36825930>>"Oh dear, it appears i'm sleepwalking again, snore, snore."the mental image of luna just walking by saying that, including the 'snore, snore' with the most deadpan expression possible is fucking fantastic
>>36825828And Anon is aware of all of this but he's having so much fun
Searching for a clopfic:- I don't really remember if it was RGRE- It started with a mare and her friends at a bar, her friends were teasing her about the fact that she was too scared to talk to a colt- She tells them that she will try with the next stallion that comes through the door- Here comes anon, blablabla wish fullfilment anon is top tier chad blablabla- Her friend tell her that she has no chances but she tries anyway, anon goes like "damn what a qt pone"- They hit it off, go home (while her friends slip condoms into her purse) and have a normal conversation - Nothing sexual happens, I think anon drinks something that made him horny as fuck next day- His boss fantasizes about him, he caughts her in the act and fucks her
>>36826032https://www.fimfiction.net/story/428033/bad-bloodWas it this by chance?
>>36826048Oh yes, thank you so much
>>36825151Give him more butt and he's the perfect Bara chad
>>36826135There's a gfur thread on /trash/ missing you
>>36824245>Keikaku means planToo late anon 4 years too late
>You are helping Twilight teach Rainbow Dash about the history of the Wonderbolts.>That's also why you're dressed like Princess Celestia.>Oh, you're Fluttershy by the way.>Sorry you didn't say that sooner...>Twilight said to act out your scene with Rarity when they get over head, and here they come."I, Princess Celestia, banish you Princess Luna, to the moon.">"Nooooooooo~">Nailed it.>You knew practicing acting out all your animes when you were alone at home would pay off some day.>Time to go meet Rainbow and Twilight at->"No! Mommy don't banish Auntie Luna to the moon!">A young voice cries out.>What?>You look and see Prince Anonymous running towards Rarity and hugs her.>"Oh my! Darling, I-">"She didn't eat some of your cake this morning, I did! Please don't send her away!">The young prince tries to protect her from you.>You forgot Prince Anonymous was visiting today.>"Anon!">Spike yells and comes running.>"There you are. You can't just run off like that buddy.">"Spike! Tell Mommy not to send Auntie Luna away!">The young dragon looks up at Rarity and has a dreamy look in his eyes.>You fight the urge to roll yours."Prince Anonymous, we're just acting. No pony is being banished anywhere.">He opens his eyes, looks up at Rarity and let's go of his hug.>He starts to run to you instead and hugs you.>"Thank you Mommy! Thank you!">Oh dear...>"Darling, I believe there's a teeny misunderstanding here. This is a... a play.">He perks up at her words.>"We get to play?">He asks hopefully.>"Well... not exactly. We-">"It's been so long since we all could play together! Mommy has always been so busy and you almost always sleep during the day. This is going to be great!">You then look down at the young prince.>He has been called the Treasure of Equestria because of his ability to brighten any ponies day with just a smile.>He is loved by all and from stories you've heard from Twilight and Spike, he always tries to male the castle staff feel appreciated.>He has gone a long time without family interaction because his mother and aunt are always busy with royal duties.>The poor little dear."Of course we'll play with you my little prince.">"You will!?">"We will?">You shoot a mini stare at Rarity, her protests quickly die in her throat.>"Uh, why yes! We will.">"Come on you two, I need to watch him while Twilight is busy with Rainbow.""Then come with us.">"Yeah Spike, come with us.">The prince says smiling.>"I don't know.">He says rubbing the back of his neck.>"Oh come along Spikey. After all, a princess could always use a daring knight to defend her.">"Me? A daring knight? For Rarity?">That dreamy look comes back to him.>"I'm so glad we can all play together.""Me too Prince Anonymous.">He looks confused.>"Mommy, why do you keep calling me that?""Well, prince is your title and Anonymous is your name.">"I know, but you always call me 'Sunshine' when we're together."
>>36826167"Oh, al-alright...Sunshine.">You say with a smile.>Oh my, that felt...>Right...>"Shall we be off then Sunshine?">Rarity asks and Prince An- your Sunshine starts to giggle.>"No Auntie Luna, Mommy calls me her Sunshine. You call me your Nightsong.">"Yes, yes of course my... my Nightsong.">You can see Rarity's face and can see a smile on her lips similar to your own.>You've only spent a little time interacting with your Sunshine when you went to the Grand Galloping Galla or other times you were being honored at the castle, so you aren't sure how to fully interact and especially play with him.>But with Spike here to help and between Rarity's magic along with your wings, you should be able to play anything he wanted.>"Mommy, can I ride on your back and you fly? I love when we do that.">Oh this little angel."Of course Sunshine.">He wastes little time and climbs up onto your back.>He is a little heavier than you are used to, but you can still manage fine for his sake.>A look on Rarity's face shows some disappointment, almost like she wanted to give him a ride instead."Hold tight Sunshine.">You extend your wings and take off slowly, making sure your special cargo is safe.>You're going to make sure nothing hurts your little sunshine.
>>36826167>>You are helping Twilight teach Rainbow Dash about the history of the Wonderbolts.>>That's also why you're dressed like Princess Celestia.>>Oh, you're Fluttershy by the way.>>Sorry you didn't say that sooner...>meta-narrativeI like it already
>>36824910>pic>think its twi with new,cute haircut>its actually r63 and, therefore, gay
>>36826183I just thought it was Twi with a new manecut when I posted it. Why do fags ruin everything?
>>36825122Thankfully there's quite an uptick in that section.
>>36826053Ephemeral needs to come back to finish it. It's been way too long and I remember Ephemeral saying it's one of the stories he wants to return, but again that was a long time ago as well.
>>36826221How appropriate that he picked that name, since he is no longer posting in the thread.
>>36826170very cuteI approve
>>36826167>>36826170fuck that's cute
>>36826183>>36826186>"m-muh fragile heterosexuality!"I don't know why you're so worried, since you're already a faggot.
so will next thread be better or
>>36826183>>36826186
>>36826310Much better. Thanks, Anon.
>Daddy's little shitposter
>>36826310>>36824910I don't see a difference...Oh, wait shit now I see it. Never mind.
>>36826353"Junior, no shitposting before dinner or else no toasted ham sandwiches."
>>36825698Supremely excellent
>>36826308Depends if the people who hate/love anonicorn will be there. So, probably not.
>>36826308Depends on whether (You) post green. The power to make it better is in your hands.
>>36826310Eyelashes please
>game of pone op is dead>tight schedule op is deadreeee
>>36826456But anon, it's been only 2 threads since a Tight Schedule update and it's only been about a week since Game of Pones was posted.
>>36826463I'm autistic so if I can't read something daily I get sad
>>36826456I'm working on it, but the first days of a new job are not the greatest moment for creative writing. Shit's hectic.
>>36825698A fascinating little mystery you're cooking up here, Engie. Also Luna's guards are trash.
>>36826368Long hair, rounder jaw.>>36826448How you like that?
>>36826533Perfect.
>>36826533Perfect. Now all she needs is a big throbbing marecock
Don't talk to it, niggers.
>>36825698>Engie updates IABLOh hell yes, my day has been made. Great update, I adore the dynamic going on between Fleur and Raven, and can't wait to see that explored further. Anon is a bit stiff, I can't wait to see how this affects his relationship with Raven. Poor mare is going to be so embarrassed
>>36826533
>>36826540Stay in your "it's not gay when the cock is 'feminine'" general, homo.
>>36826533Eh, still looks kind of masculine to me. Maybe it's because Twilight's hair is usually neatly combed and not quite so messy
>>36826560If she's a bit obsessed about something then it makes sense to me that she'd be a bit unkempt.
>>36826562The snout is still squarish like a stallion instead of round like a mare
>>36826463God I can not wait for the next Game of Pones update.
>>36825698Ignore faggots, enjoy Enganon return
>>36826310The things I would do to that succulent coltpussi
>>36825690>>You held your defensive stance as he plucked a gem from one of his bracelets and tossed it behind him.That threw me for a bit as my standard imagined picture of a dragon doesn't include jewelry. Maybe include some sort of short description of the dragon before this? I'm glad to see more of this, I like this story and this anon.
>>36826554>eating the baitYou have to go back
>>36826821To be fair though, futa is still less gay than traps.
>>36826858Degrees of faggotry are irrelevantThey are still both gay and should be tossed in a furnace
>>36826861I would argue as long as it has a vagina as well as a cock, that while still be faggotry, it is not gay.
one flavor of shitposting for anothersuper
>>36826889I'll take this flavour over the other.
>>36825687>“I wouldn’t have let you ‘get me out of here’.”>>”That would’ve made it even harder Adjutant.”kek
>>36826170>hfw Twilight arrives to take him back home.Also RIP Rainbow's wonderbolts exam.
>Be Anon>Be walking with your buddy Thunderlane>It was a lovely day>The birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and you didn't need two coats to walk outside>Heck, you didn't need a coat at all>Spring had sprung, and you were enjoying it>"--All I'm saying is, Anon, this might be the easiest job I've ever had. I sell stuff, tell other colts about it and try to get them into selling too and go up in rank! It's great!""You sure? Cause that sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.">"Oh, you sound just like Cloudchaser! Can you believe that she wouldn't let me take out a loan for our cottage?""Yes. I can. I also think you need to listen to your marefriend more, or at the very least don't touch the finances in your house.">Thunderlane snorted>"Now you sound EXACTLY like her. I'll tell you, when I'm a millionaire with my own necklace empire you're gonna feel silly not getting into this right away!">The two of you continued to chat about your friend's poor financial decisions as you made your way into the marketplace>It was just before the lunch rush, and not too many ponies were milling around>Usually, if you were by yourself, you'd just walk on through, but not with Thunderlane>That colt loved his shopping>Poor Cloud Chaser...>If they did get married she'd either need to win the horse lottery or get another job>Sure enough, the moment you were in the market, something caught the stallion's eye>"Ooooh! Look over there, Anon! They have some of that fancy flour from prench. Somepony MUST have known that I wanted some to cook with! Come on we HAVE to get a few bags!">With a happy bird horse dance, Thunderlane made his way over, with you right behind him>"Excuse me; how much is the flour today?">It was a well-known fact that stallions did much better haggling compared to a mare, especially if they were haggling with a businessmare>All they'd need to do it bat their eyelashes, tickle the mare under the chin with their tail and the price of whatever they wanted would go WAY down>Even if the business owner was a colt, if they were a local they wouldn't try to gouge somepony, since they wanted their customers to come back>The issue today though was that not only was the merchant selling the flour a stallion, but he was an out of towner>One of those traveling sales ponies, and it looked like he had taken an instant dislike of your buddy>You still didn't understand haggling very well--so much so that most ponies in the market felt bad and just charged you a reasonable amount--but even you know this colt was trying to jip Thunderlane >Twenty bits for a bag of flour>Twenty goddamn bits!>You could get all of your groceries for that week with that much>Negotiations very quickly broke down and turned into little more than a name-calling shouting match>Most ponies watched on in amusement, some muttering about how "colts would be colts">You just leaned yourself against a nearby building with your arms crossed
>>36826861>anon1 offers bait>anon2 takes the bait>anon3 tells him not to take the bait>anon4 offers bait responding to the post saying "don't take the bait" just to make it even more obvious it's bait>anon takes the fucking baitgodssake why are you niggers so retarded, are you unfamiliar with the idea of shitposting and bait? this is rgre, were known for it, its not new. better watch out fucknuts, there's more bait responding to the dumbfuck who just took the bait, who knows how long we have until he chows down again
>>36826975You yourself just posted bait
>>36826957More?
>>36826686Ah, sorry about that. I should have mentioned something, yes. I might add a line to the bin for that when I'm back home.>>36825778This Raven is based on the characterization I gave her in FALS, where she has a prominent presence but is not a love interest. One of the reasons I started IABL was because enough Anons did want her as a love interest, and I wanted to playnwith her character a bit more.>>36825958>>36826387>>36826549Thanks, friends.>>36826485More details on this protocol to come in the next update, when Anon breaks down the chain of failures here.
>>36826957>Thunderlane was either going to get the bag of flour down to five bits or there was going to be a hoof fight>If it were the latter you'd join right in and throw the merchant as hard as you could across the marketplace>Hopefully that didn't happen, since you didn't want to get yelled at by the mayor>Again>They'd probably just tucker themselves out in a few minutes and remember to be adults again>As you waited for that to happen, you looked up at the pretty blue sky, breathing in that wonderful summer air>"What did you say?!">"I said your manecut was trashy!">"Says the colt with a UNIBROW!">"Oh my Celestia, HOW DARE YOU!">Something caught your eye, making you look back down to earth>It was Rarity>The unicorn was making her way toward you>Usually you wouldn't assume someone was walking toward you, but she only had eyes for you>She looked a little frazzled to>Her gaunt was a bit funny, and her tail was flicking around like there was a hoard of flies surrounding her>It also looked like she was breathing a little heavy>Your head cocked to the side>Maybe she wanted you to step in and stop the stallions from yelling at each other?>If that were the cause she was out of luck>You didn't get in a shouting match with stallions>They were a lot louder than you, and they were usually a lot better at hurting your feelings than you were them>You didn't want your nice Tuesday ruined>Rarity said nothing as she closed the distance between the two of you>There was something in her eyes, you noticed, along with a weird smell that seemed to cling to her"Anything I can help you with, Rare? you asked>Rarity nodded, still breathing hard>"Yes. Yes there is, Anonymous.">She then turned around, backed herself up, and pinned you to the side of the building with her rump>The little mare was surprisingly strong too, and it made quite the bang>Loud enough to stop the shouting match between Thunderlane and the other colt>"Anon, what the heck was--" Thunderlane began, only to stop when he saw what Rarity was doing>His eyes widened, before narrowing down to slits>He then sighed>"Oh horseapples, estrus must be right around the corner," he grumbled. "Rarity, leave him alone for pony's sake!">Biting her lower lip, Rarity looked back at you and she wiggled her rump back and forth>She was just tall enough that her rump was groin height, so you most definitely felt it>It was a little disconcerting, since the usually prim and proper mare would never do anything like this in public"...You okay, Rarity?" you asked as a shiver ran up the mare's spine>"Not at all, dear," she said with a breathy tone. "But I do know what would make be feel better. Oh Celestia above do I know~...">The merchant stallion make a noise of disgust>"Ugh, unicorns," he said, shaking his head. "They're the worst with their heat."
>>36827015>"I know, right?" Thunderlane said, turning toward him. "I get that it's so much worse for them, but a little bit of willpower goes a long way, you know?">"Tell me about it. You can't go anywhere near Canterlot this time of year. The unicorns up there have only one thing on their minds and it's bucking gross!">"Yeah!">"Yeah!">The stallions hoofbumped while you were casually molested>"I'm sorry I said your mane looked bad. I think it's actually really cute on you.">"Really? Well thank you! I was a little iffy on the style. It doesn't make my flank look big, does it?">"Not at all colt. You look grea--">You cleared your throat"Can I ask about unicorns and heat please?">You'd seen other ponies in heat>Most would be a bit sweaty, or try to flirt, not this>Then again, now that you thought about it, you hadn't ever seen a unicorn out whenever estrus rolled around...>"It's a lot worse for unicorns," Thunderlane said. "Usually, Mayor Mare makes them stay inside for a few days so they don't do what Rarity's doing right now--">"Hmmm," Rarity hummed, grinding against you with a little more force>Now that she was close enough, you could see what were in her eyes>Little hearts>"--but it looks like she went into heat a little early.">Walking over, Thunderlane tried to push Rarity away from you>The mare let out a whine, standing firm>"Rarity, if you don't move I'm bucking you in the face," he said>"I shall not!" Rarity said, shaking her head. "I want babies! BABIES! What myself and Anon will sire will be the envy of the nation, I can FEEL it!">Shaking his head, Thunderlane turned around, legs ready for a hard kicking>Before he could do so however, Rarity's horn lit up, and a small bubble formed around the two of you>"I'm going to rut this colt stupid and make him mine, and there's nothing anypony can do about it!" the mare shouted, loud enough for the whole market to ear. "I'm going to break him sexually, tenderly and sweetly milking orgasm after orgasm out of him until this accursed heat leaves me! Afterward, there will be marriage of course, and I'll begin to design baby clothes for our foal!">Oh boy...>This was gonna be a day, wasn't it?
>>36827055>>Now that she was close enough, you could see what were in her eyes>>Little hearts>horsemarriage
>>36827055It's too late; accept your fate, Anon.
>>36827055>turns out these feelings don't wear off once estrus is over>Rarity's had a thing for Anon for months now and the estrus acted as liquid courage for her>Anon's stallion friends are a bit confused how the mare who molested him in public is now dating him, but hey>It's sorta romantic, so they're down for it
>>36827055Go to bed, Lap.
>>36827055nice
>>36827055A Rarity is fine, too.
>>36827055>She was just pretending to be in heat so the stallions would stop arguing and focus on something else
>>36826952>Celestia is confused why her son thinks he spent the day with her and Luna.>She is equally confused why he thinks she is amazing with animals.>Fluttershy and Rarity can't wait for the next Grand Galloping Galla or any chance to go to Canterlot and see the young prince. >He doesn't remember playing with them because they don't look like his mother and aunt and only know them as the Elements of Harmony who save Equestria.Typical airhead stallion, right mares? That's why he's only there to smile and wave.
>>36827357Superior variant: he was in character the entire time and acknowledges that Fluttershy and Rarity were pretty cool moms.
>>36825698Holy shit an Engie update?? It's been too long
Prompt>anon is a royal guard before the start of the show>befriends shiny as a result>when he moves over to the empire he humbly requests to be reasigned there>one big (and unusual, for colts) thing the two have in common is that they both love role playing and painting minis>once they settle in, they start having weekly gaming sessions>candy thinks its cute that two grown stallions like playing games for little fillies and chalks it up to male whimsy>neither of you let any such comment go unanswered, of course, replying that the games have a very detailed set of rules, deep lore, yada yada>a few of these session later and he decides to introduce a new member to the game>its chrissy>turns out he never cut contact with her after the wedding fiasco, especially after he found out that under all that bitterness and hate, there is a huge nerd that adores RPGs>she is introduced to caddy under a persona, but she drops it whenever the 3 of you are playing in the basement>cue slice of life shenenigans as they try having their games without candy ass figuring them out
>>36827405>what if weaver comic: the promptI guess.
>>36827405We've already had damn near this exact same prompt before. Only difference is that Anon is in this one.
>>36827366>>36827357>They go to the gala and greet him and Celestia at the door>Are pretty sad that he doesnt recognise them.>Squints at a trying-not-to-look-sad-and-failing-miseribly Fluttershy for a few seconds before levitating his moms crown onto her head.>"Ah! There you are! We've been looking all over for you Mommy, we had to find a stunt mare to take your place for a little bit.">Celestia nods solmnly as her son gives Fluttershy a hug."Quite right, it's been so nerve wracking pretending to be the Princess this whole time, i dont know how you ever manage it.""How about you take the young prince and spend some time together, i can stay in disguise a little while longer, i hear your gardens are quite nice this time of year.">She finishes with a wink as she takes her crown back.>Fluttershy and the Prince both giggle as he settles onto her back as they head into the Gala proper.
>>36826975>any post that bugs me, personally, is automatically baitI hate you all so much.
>>36827440Stop baiting
>>36827449kek been too long since I've last seen this
>>36827449>>36827457
>>36827449>>36827470I need moar bombshell greens desu
>>36827470>CnP Titty Monster social media postsI need more of these.
>>36827479
>>36827485Last one.>>36827482Fucking based.
>>36827494shame there are no quality saffron greensshe was such a cutie in the show
>>36827494I hope someone does a horny japanese pony since when we already have a horny indian
>>36827503are there any bombshell greens beside the ones in the google sheets?
I require trixie green, you will provide. Right now.
>>36827449>tfw big tiddy bat waifu
>>36827518No. Fuck you.
>>36827526Fuck me? Your mom already did that, now post trixie green.
>>36827518>Day Great & Powerful in Equestria>you are the one and only Trixie!>today's looking like a good day, you bumped into some weird Alien Stallion's junk and he didn't seem to mind>in fact, he even rubbed your cheeks and called you adorable!>that felt a little weird, like he was an old stallion or something, but it also felt... nice.>hope you aren't developing a ASILF fetish...>anyway, you even managed to sell him a ticket to your show!>he was so excited when you told him it was a magic show that he hugged you!>you can still feel his pecks on your face.
>>36827518
>>36827665This is the quality content this thread needed.
>>36826170Hnnnnnnng
>>36827780>Has never heard of a tomboy
>>36827665I choose to believe that Trixie was raised in a remote settlement and isn't a native speaker of Equestrian, and the way she rolls her Rs is just Trixie trying to speak normally and suppress her accent. It's like how sometimes you do a fake accent but over do a certain sound, because the sound you're trying to make is so different from the one you usually make that you overcompensate a bit and sound stupid. You could even go so far as to say the 3rd person thing is Trixie struggling with the differing sentence structure of Equestrian versus horse-Slav. Like how in French you put adjectives after the noun they're describing, but in English it's the other way around and you have to put conscious thought into how you arrange your words. Whatever-the-fuck language she speaks doesn't have the word for "I", and it's grammatically correct for her to refer to herself as "Trixie" and describe herself in the third person.I mean, otherwise she's just kind of a goofy asshole.
>>36827800Or even better, the "reverse trap"
>>36827665I-I f-fucking h-hate t-this s-stutter s-shit
>>36827810Yeah, he went overboard.
>>36826170Is this version of Anonicorn actually so numb to his own senses and so developmentally stunted to be incapable of telling them apart from his actual family?
>>36827835Maybe it's a self-insert?
>>36827835See >>36827366Trollestia genes are strong.
>>36827780There are degrees of RGRE. The shit post version, mares are basically gross frat boys with crusty gross, but untouched, vaginas.The other extreme is the Cliffordwriter version, where the mares act like women in a matriarchy where the input and opinions of the stallions are considered less valuable than the input and opinions of a mare.
>>36827055>Still be Anon>Still be pinned against the wall>Rarity was now speaking prench at you as she grinded>You had absolutely no fucking idea what she was saying, but you were pretty sure it was filthy>Thunderlane was no longer trying to free you or break through the mare's magical bubble>He actually thought it was sweet, all the things Rarity was saying>Said that a mare should be confident to a colt she liked like this>Some of the other stallions in the market also thought the same thing>They were all crowded around the bubble, with Thunderlane standing on top of the thing>All of them were congratulating you>Rarity was a good catch>A wealthy mare>A kind mare>Generous, not bad looking--though her horn spiral went the wrong way>She was wealthy too, and an Element of Harmony to boot>They gaggled like stallions did, talking about foals and marriage and all that sort of stuff>Rarity seemed encouraged by all their well-wishes, looking as pleased as could be while the prench continued>If you wanted, you could have probably gotten away from the horny horse>But she did have a big ol bottom...>And you liked that accent of hers...>And her being a nice, sweet little horse was pretty great...>The issue was getting her back to her boutique with your pants still on>No problem>Hopefully
>>36827988>Speaking Prench>Not Fleur De LisDegenerate.
>>36827055>heart eyesYES!
>>36824186Fuck thats cute.
>>36824186>Cadence asks the nearby guard Shining to step over for a moment before promptly jumping on his back.Power! More power!
>>36827991what do you expect from the mare who fetishizes turning her eventual husband into a one man bukkake show?
>>36827182He still alive? I haven't been reading much since the whole paste purge. Got tons of stuff saved though.
>>36828226He's been quite active. Hasn't moved most of his stuff to ponepaste yet, but at least there's a backup of his stuff on poneb.in/u/LaPsbin .
>>36828226He is, he did a Fleur green two threads ago, and is working on an Anthroverse story rn. Unsurprisingly, they're both pretty good stories.
>>36828232>>36828249Cool, I'll have to look for him again.
>>36827988>though her horn spiral went the wrong wayI love how this tiny RGRE-specific heacanon is included.Great work, writefriend!
>>36828261>>36828249>he did a Fleur green two threads ago
>>36827835Depends on his young he is. Kids can be fucking retarded sometimes.
Does anyone know what happened to the Father Anon green where he was about to take his daughter Junior to a camping trip? Did that story ever get continued?
>>36828103>"TREMBLE BEFORE OUR MIGHT, FOR RESISTANCE IS FUTILE."Oh shit oh fuck they are merging–
>ywn b8 your daughter with vintage shitpostingwhy live?
>>36828369https://youtu.be/r04Tc3h_W8Q
>>36828530>that one greentext where anon has a daughter who is a green filly with a black mane, and he takes over for their teacher when they go camping will never be continued
>>36828608Goddammit Anon, I was having a decent day to. You just had to remind me.
nice thread, would be a shame if someone makes a new one...
>>36828899Sorry, but you're not the real early thread anon. Even he's not this retarded.
>>36828899Early thread Anon just fucking does it. He also isn't that retarded.
>>36828261What Goes Bumb in the Night never ever...
>>36828899your bait is pitifully weakhave a complimentary check 'em
>>36827802>Whatever-the-fuck language she speaks doesn't have the word for "I", and it's grammatically correct for her to refer to herself as "Trixie"Doesn't weebspeak allow third person as a semi-acceptable option for "I" ?
Okay, colts, I need help. This doe has been really very persistent lately, and I don't quite understand what she wants from me. Thoughts?
>>36827988> her horn spiral went the wrong wayI remember that one, always been a sucker for actual body/cultural difference between tribes.
>>36829595She wants to get railed hard by you.
>>36828899Early anon does whatever the fuck he wants, shit tier bait.
>>36828369>"NOT SO FAST.">Blueblood facehoofs as his cousin / little brother figure laughs at the rediculousness of the situation.>Dad was right when he said that all mares are just fillies at heart.
>>36829885>rediculousnessridiculousness*; there's no 'e' or 'a' in 'ridiculous'regardless, silly poners are silly, RGRE or not
Continuing from https://ponepaste.org/4471#271>"I'm gonna be honest, miss Schedule, I'm kind of overwhelmed.">Lord Anonymous and you have been walking back from a tour of the, frankly, not perfectly kept gardens and surroundings. The manor has been vacant for several years, and as such has fallen into a bit of disrepair. The building itself was sturdy, but cleaning and inspecting it still took you and a dozen butlers nearly a week. The greenery however, was not so easily repaired. You've arranged for a groundskeeper to be employed, but they are yet to arrive, and as such the mansion has taken on a bit of a... "wild" appearance.>You round a corner and start walking towards the living room.>Lord Anonymous scratches the back of his head awkwardly, looking down at the clipboard you've hoofed over to him.>"I feel like I'm looking at a uni curriculum, not a schedule. The only thing giving it away is that all my meals and breaks are also included.">He looks at it bit closer, then looks at you.>"Down to the minute.">You prop up your glasses with a hoof."Yes, well, like I said, milord, your time is very valuable.">He looks at the schedule again.>"Afternoon bathroom break, 16:32-16:36.">This time the look he gives you lasts much longer, and is much more telling.>You clear your throat."The few upcoming weeks are very important for you, milord. As time goes on and you get a better grasp on the basics required of you and a greater command of your estate, I'm sure we can work in more time for self-study.">You can hear your master grumbling something under his breath.>You politely ignore it.>Once you get him used to a stricter schedule, it will be much easier for him to accept a still strict, but much more lenient one.>Worked on every noble colt you've dealt with.>Well, granted, they were foals, but you believe in your methods.>"Ok, but economics, management ...accounting? I know nothing about these things! And besides, wouldn't a noble normally have people that do those things for them.""Naturally, milord, but one must first be able to understand what one's assistants assist with to be able to make the appropriate decisions. The burden of directing what they focus on precisely falls to you, milord. We shall work very hard to bring you up to speed as quickly as possible.">He sighs and his shoulders slump a bit.>Thankfully, you've reached your destination."Speaking of assistants, here we are.">You open the door to the living room, and gesture for Lord Anonymous to enter.
>>36829921>You take a good, long, lingering look at the butler pouring you a cup of tea.>Aaaaall the way down.>Sweetest sun, did that one have a tight flank.>Must have been a farmcolt before becoming a butler.>Those are some honest, country grown cheeks.>You could bounce a bit off of it, and it would go straight through a wall.>You are Balanced Books, and you KNOW your bits.>You take the teacup from his hooves before he puts it down on the table.>He makes eye contact with you for a second.>You take a sip of the tea, and wink at him.>He blushes heavily, and quickly puts the teapot back on the serving cart and scutters away.>Oh you soooooooo love to fluster them.>The door to the living room opens and you get your first look at your new employer.>Huh.>The pictures in the newspapers didn't really do justice to just how tall he is.>Not bad, you kinda like it.>You always liked long legs on a colt.>Then, behind him, in comes ol' Tightarse.>All buttoned up and a stick up her ass like always.>There goes a mare that wouldn't know the definition of fun if the Princess of Books herself clobbered her over the head with a dictionary.>"Lord Anonymous, may I present to you your heads of staff. They will be your advisors and assistants, as well as your best help in the running of your estate. If you have any questions about the estate itself or its functioning, please feel free to contact them at any time.">Speak for yourself, mare, some of us actually have lives.>Tightwad then takes one look at you, and proceeds to walk to the farthest occupant of the room from you.>Yeah, the feeling is mutual.>They proceed to walk along the gathered ponies, who are sitting at small tables strewn around the room, drinking tea.>As they approach each one, they stand up, Clenched Sphincter introduces them, they exchange pleasantries, then move on to the next one.>"Lord Anonymous, I present to you Bedside Manner, your chief physician.">"And only physician as of now. No cute nurses in this mansion, alas." The way the decrepit prune of a stallion cackles at his "joke" makes your skin crawl.>"Oh, then you're the doctor that took care of Brace. I wanted to thank you, but I just haven't had time yet." says Anonymous>"Well, there is no need to thank me for doing my job. Honestly, I thought you'd be more surprised that the doctor's a stallion." The geezer laughs again, but it somehow seems more genuine this time.>"The doctor takes care of your health, as well as the health of all inhabitants of the manor. He is also a consultant for all of your holdings' local medical practitioners." Tightass concludes.>They move on to the next pony.>"This is Spruce Branch, the Forester of your estate. She takes care of all the woods in the area, as well as all the animals that live in them.">"Yep, that's me! Nice to meetcha!">Well, someone's chipper.>Ha, chipper. Like a woodchipper.>You. Are. Hilarious.
>>36829923>"If it's anything about forests or critters, I'm yer mare! I've been trottin' these parts since I've learned how to walk at all. I reckon there's not a pony in the whole of Equestria that knows them better than me." The pine-green earth pony is almost bouncing in her seat with glee, her ridiculous Bavmareian feather hat swaying from side to side.>"I'll be sure to ask you to share some good hiking trails then.", the noblestallion answers with a smile.>"You betcha!">They move to the mare sitting to your right.>"Let me introduce Bumper Crop, your agricultural advisor.">The plump, golden-brown mare jiggles slightly as she nods at the stallion, her front hooves resting on her belly.>"The pleasure is all mine, my Lord. I'm here to make sure that everyone is fed and happy, and that all the surplus is sold at a fair price. Agriculture is Oakhoof's primary source of income, after all.">Anonymous smiles at her. You allow yourself a little smile too. Despite the fact that all she can think of is food, you actually like Bumpy. She knows how to have fun, at least. Well, so does Spruce, but she's a bit too... energetic for your tastes.>That, and you can't stand her yodelling.>"I'm glad to hear that someone has the situation well in hand ...er, hoof then.". The tall stallion quickly corrects himself.>What the hay is a hand? He used it instead of hoof, so is that what he calls those spindly things at the end of his arms? They look very fragile.>Though you do see some... interesting possibilities with how nimble they seem to be.>And finally they move on to you.>"And last, we have your financial advisor and the head accountant of your estate, Balanced Books.""Aww, so formal as always, Tighty. Is that any way to introduce your dear foalhood friend?">She gives you an irritated look.>"For Celestia's sake, Books, show some professionalism. I'm introducing you to your new employer. And don't call me that.""And I'm very glad to meet him. My warmest regards, Lord Anonymous. As Tighty here mentioned, I'm the mare that keeps your bits safe and your wallet full. I also keep tracks of all the ventures in your estate that don't fall under the jurisdiction of Bumper or Spruce. I'm in charge of organizing the collection of taxes as well."
>>36829926>Tightass huffs at you ignoring her naming preferences.>Still know how to push her buttons. At least that's one thing you get from knowing her for so long.>The tall colt in front of you has a strange mix of expressions, confusion visibly fighting with barely contained laughter.>Ha, at least it seems like there's still hope for your boss.>You're going to have to teach him how to party before she makes a complete bore out of him with all her talk of "responsibility", "duty", and "obligations".>He finally manages to compose himself.>"Very happy to meet you too, miss Books. I think I'm going to have a lot of questions to ask you specifically. I thought Equestria didn't have a tax system? Forgive my ignorance, I am still kind of new here.""Well, as a country, not as such, but each estate is entitled to gather taxes from their holdings. Why, the Princesses themselves are also land owners, they actually own the entirety of Canterhorn Mountain, among other areas. Most taxes are voluntary donations - there is a minimum amount, but rarely does anypony pay only that, since the money overwhelmingly goes towards improving the holdings themselves, and the lives of everyone in them.">"Wow, that's... completely different from how it was done where I come from. I'll have to pick your brain on this some more, when we have more time.">Oh, he seems to actually be interested in the one thing you ARE serious about.>And that would be anything and everything that has to do with money.>You might actually enjoy working for this strange, tall stallion, with his long, long legs.>Tighty Whitey then chimes in.>"Actually, milord, if you refer to your schedule, this meeting was planned to last another hour and a half. I've set this time aside specifically so you can ask any questions you have now, while we are all gathered here. A lot of our fields of responsibility tend to overlap, so this is a great opportunity to get you acquainted with the how and why of that.">Anonymous brightens at this. He looks at you, smiling.>"Well, seems like I'm not done with you yet, miss.">Mmmm, colt, don't say it like that.>You'll make me imagine all kinds of horrible situations a professional mare should never find herself in with her exotic, inexperienced employer.>It would be suuuuuuuuch a scandal.>Your feathers bristle at the very thought.
>>36829930Paste updated.I finally got some time to write, so here's an update. I'll try to bang some more out over the weekend, too.
>>36829934very good! I like the new characters
>>36829934Sweet. Seems like a good spread of characters, ripe for shenanigans.
>>36829934>Mmmm, colt, don't say it like that.>You'll make me imagine all kinds of horrible situations a professional mare should never find herself in with her exotic, inexperienced employer.
>>36829934Still loving this.
I think it's about time for another GildaFull thing: https://u.smutty.horse/mamiiorghhx.pngNo text: https://u.smutty.horse/mamijqpsjct.png
>>36829934A nice update with some good characters, rock on.
>>36830154too lood
>>36830154fuckin WEW Nignogs
>>36830154
>>36830154>that one green that had a love triangle between rainbow dash anon and gym-gilda will never be completed
>>36830154bit too much muscle for my taste, but holy cow dem hipsthanks for stopping by with the gift, nignogs
>>36830154Maximum unf.I wonder how she got scars on her boobs of all places.I bet the real story is much more embarrassing than the fake one she tells everybody.
>>36830227>Swears she got into a knife fight to defend Anon>IRL she was just starting out her lifting a few years ago, got cocky and tried to lift too much and the bar came down on her chest, and something sharp on it clipped her tit>Or she was reaching so deep into the container of protein powder to find that fucking scoop that she caught some bare skin on the sharp plastic inside edge of the opening
>>36830238Sounds as stupid as how I got some of my scars.>tfw have a few scars on my arms>tfw I got some of them by running into short tree branches while mowing the lawn>tfw I got another larger scar by running into the corner of the handle on my shower door after slipping on the ground and stumbling forward
>>36830154>tfw no thicc muscle gf
>>36830238>>Or she was reaching so deep into the container of protein powder to find that fucking scoop that she caught some bare skin on the sharp plastic inside edge of the opening>Gilda buys protein powder in bulk>EXTREME bulk, which also happens to be the name of her preferred brand>she has a few (reasonably) large containers she keeps in her house>but she fills these containers from full-sized oil drum sized containers she gets shipped to her every few months or so in her shed>Anon catches her eye toward the tail end of one of these drums' worth of powder, and she uses more than usual to get the gainz in order to catch his eye in turn>so much so that she has to head out for a refill on a laundry day, and thus no shirt>but as bulky as her arms are now, they aren't any longer, and she still hasn't bought an appropriately sized ladle to go with her drums due to her pride and toxic femininity telling her that she's managed so far just fine and doesn't need any help>so she reaches in, clips her tit, and lets out a yell of totally feminine rage and definitely not boyish pain and kicks the mostly empty drum in retaliation>and that's the story of how her neighbor (lets say Dash) woke up to find a naked Gilda kicking at an empty plastic barrel in her back yard while clutching her bleeding tit, swearing all the while>>36830154good jorbstill waiting on the reversal where its her head in Anon's thighs
>>36830154based Gilda
>>36830309I don't know how I never noticed Scootaloo in this before.
>>36830309
>>36830154Maximum fucking milkers, holy cow.
>>36830356>Griffin Milk: For MAXIMUM GAINZ
>>36829595I hate u
>>36829595She wants you to "eat" her.
>>36829595Fucking meadow niggers think they can steal our janefilly alien dick
>>36829934Noice update, all the characters you're introducing are interesting.
Noodles are very lewd creatures.
>>36831962Thought there would've been hand-holding in this picture for a moment, happy to see Eris isn't a degenerate.
“I see…” You lean back into the too-small chair and place the parchment back down on the desk with a sigh.>Sitting with you in the somewhat cramped and paper-filled office of Amethyst Lens is Lens herself, who sits behind the desk, and Emerald Quill, who is seated to your right in the other guest chair.>Quill gave you a quick tour of the palace along with an entourage of four guardsmares, all of whom were dressed in blue-tinted metal armor rather than the black-iron they were equipped with before. Quill pointed out where the offices of each minister were situated, the servants quarters, the kitchens, the on-site barracks and armory, and finally your new and very opulent quarters.>By god did Sombra live in luxury. The top-most room of the palace would put all but the most ridiculous places on earth to shame. You’ll not be stepping foot inside until it’s sweeped by a team of guards and alchemists, however.>When you happened by the throne room, Sombra’s corpse was nowhere to be found. Even the blood was gone.>All the while, servants whispered as you passed, and although the guards remained professional, you could feel their eyes following you.>The tour took several hours, and with nothing else to do, you sought out Amethyst Lens to begin the planning of the empire’s recovery.Both mares with you wait for you to speak again. “Madam Amethyst?” You chew on your next words and you think them over. “What exactly is the value of one bit? What can be purchased with one?” You ask, again lifting the audit form one of her aides delivered not even five minutes ago. >The dour mare looks between the form in your hand and your eyes. “A difficult question, Sire. A pony could purchase a loaf of bread, or a dozen eggs with one bit before the reign of Sombra. Sombra’s harsh taxation policy has been driving the price of most goods up, forcing commoners to make do with less as time goes on. Those figures are currently at almost triple what I’ve described.” She sighs. “The median income of a herd consisting of one stallion and three mares has been stagnant at roughly twenty thousand bits per year for the last several years.”1/?Writing as I go because I don't have a ton of time.
>>36830264If we want to talk about really dumb things, once had been at a friends house and was messing about with an office chair that was missing a wheel so it'd tilt when you went one way. Back and forth I went until suddenly tilted too far and stuck out my arm to catch myself. Right through the window beside me. I was fine, but I had noticed what looked like a tiny slice of processed sandwhich meat on the window sill for some reason and then a sudden pain on my arm. Pretty large hole in my arm that then suddenly filled up with blood and I panicked like a stallion coming across a spider friend in his sock drawer.
>>36832092Thanks for posting.
What was your first RGRE story, way back when/before you discovered what RGRE was or this thread? Mine was Xenophilia
>>36832188For me it was either Nonny Bravo or Xenophelia, but I was just looking for herding stories at that point
>>36832188>Mine was Xenophiliasame
>>36832188No idea which was one first, but in the first week I read all of the archive stories (prompts included)
>>36832188Xenophilia was my first exposure to the concept, and my first green on this thread was something by either Frostybox or Shukaku20.
>>36832432Frosty made me start writing.
>>36832188You guys are probably gonna hate me for thisThe scent: lust of mares, on FIMfic
>>36832551Same.
>>36832188>>36832221>>36832253>>36832432>xenophiliaAnyone got a link?
>>36832644https://www.fimfiction.net/story/27874/xenophilia
>>36832092>You frown and rub your forehead, the lowkey migraine you’ve been feeling all day intensifying.>Quill’s green eyes instantly pick on on the motion, so she turns to Amethyst's aide, a young cream-colored mare standing quietly by the door of the office. “Please have a servant prepare some willow tea or something else to soothe headaches for His Majesty on the double.”>The mare jumps at suddenly being addressed, but hastily bows. “Yes, ma’am! I’ll be right back!” She says, ducking out of the room.“Sharp eye, Quill. Thank you,” You smile, making your attendant blush and bow her head with murmur. You turn back to Amethyst. “Well, if this audit is correct, then we’re sitting on just under a billion bits in purely liquid assets? That seems… rather high considering the median income and total population of the empire.”>”The noble families along with the famed runecrafters and crystal refineries the world envies the Empire for suffered greatly under these taxes, My Lord,” Your financial minister frowns. “The runecrafters and crystal refiners were responsible for much of our GDP, and they were why our wealth grew to such heights.”“I’m not liking how you’re speaking of these crafters and refiners in the past tense, Madam…” You shake your head with a sigh. “Are they gone?”>”Not… exactly, Sire,” Quill takes over, so you turn to her. The mare clears her throat and shifts slightly in her seat. “Many commercial runecrafters are still in business, but most of our industrial crafters were unicorns…”“...Who were expelled,” You finish with a grunt. “I’ve cursed Sombra a hundred times in the last few hours, and here I am doing it again. Damn it all.”>There is a knock on the door of the office before a bronze-colored muzzle noses it open. With a silver tray holding a tea set carefully balanced on his back, a stallion servant trots inside with a smile. “Good evening Your Majesty, honored ministers,” he says with a bow of his head. He turns his neck and takes the edge of the tray in his mouth before setting it down on the desk. Then he rises on his hind legs and quickly busies himself making three cups of steaming tea. “Our finest Willow Bark tea for His Majesty,” the bronze-coated servant smiles again, serving you first before Amethyst or Quill.2/?
>>36832683>You smile in return and raise the delicate looking crystal teacup, silently marveling at the gold filigree somehow infused under the crystal itself.‘I can only imagine the obscene cost of the whole set,’ you think before taking a small sip. The flavor is odd, but you can't say you’ve ever had tea made from willow bark of all things. You give the servant a smile. “Thank you, Mister…”>The stallion blushes. “Oh, His Highness needn't worry himself about his servant or give thanks…” He says, bowing again after setting Quill and Amethyst’s cups down. “It pleases me to serve.”“And it would please me to thank you properly,” you counter, still smiling. “Where I am from, it’s only proper to thank anyone doing you a service, no matter how small, and I would enjoy having your name to do so.”>The stallion can’t quite hide his bashful expression, even with his head still bowed. “Bronze Ewer is my name, Sire,”“Thank you, Bronze Ewer,” You nod, taking another small sip from the cup in your hand. Already, you feel the edge being taken off your migraine. “Did you brew this?”>”I did, Sire.” Bronze’s visage suddenly shifts to something akin to worry. “I-Is something amiss?”>Hrm. He’s expecting some sort of negative response after you thanked him? Sombra didn’t play head games with his staff, did he?“Quite the opposite. My migraine is already beginning to fade, so my compliments to you.”>Bronze shifts back to bashful near instantly. “O-Oh! You humble me, Your Highness.” 3/?More later (Probably)
>>36832188House of the Rising Sun
>>36832693>sombra was so shit that even small acts of kindness were unheard ofjesus christ that's one of the basic courtesies that was pounded into me as a kid, and even disregarding courtesy it's never a good idea to give the p0nies serving your food a reason to dislike you
>>36832644>>36832668The related stories are better, the thing to remember about Xenophilia is that it's self insert wish fulfillment written with Rainbow Dash as the self insert character. Probably still worth reading just because of its influence, though.
>>36832693>Sombra didn’t play head games with his staff, did he?Ah, the old "Whats your name? Thank you, now i know whos family to execute." trick, a classic.>>36832732Make them fear you enough that they won't dare to act on said dislike, having high resistance / immunity to poisons also pretty much neutralises that potential threat.>"Oooh this poison was spicy, do tell me the recipe before you die screaming, there's a good chap."
>>36832748>the thing to remember about Xenophilia is that it's self insert wish fulfillmentNo surprise there>written with Rainbow Dash as the self insert character.You mean the author self inserts as the dude getting it on with dash,right?
>>36832668Where's satan?
>>36833118No, Both Belerophonte and Dash are selfinsertsYou have a self insert inserting into another selfinsertIt's a selfinsertiseption
>>36833143So if he fucks Dash, does that make it a triple insert?
>>36833190god damnit carlos
>>36833143So the author self inserts as himself fucking...a pony version of himself?Now that just sounds like narcissism to me
>>36833219I know right? You can't even tell him to go fuck himself because he already did!
>>36833219no, it can be seen as Dash self inserting as herself in the story>conventionally unattractive female gaining the sole affection of an exotic male>said male is completely fine with being mono, and even prefers it, but is also willing to herd with the understanding that he loves Dash the most>female is now the alpha of a very politically and physically powerful herd, with each member being a renowned master of some martial artLeo is definitely a more conventional self insert too, but if you look at the story from Dash's perspective, basically everything and more works out for her and makes her look better
>>36833263>tfw Xenophilia is a in-universe fan-fic written by dash>tfw when irl dash can't even say 'hi' to Anon without going spaghetti
>>36833290>Be awesome>Also be Rainbow Dash>Tfw Anon somehow stumble on your fanfics>Tfw he is reading it >Can you enve outfly shame ?
>>36833118>You mean the author self inserts as the dude getting it on with dash,right?No, the author inserted herself as rbd.
desu I wanna see the continuation of that RGRE/Xenophillia crossover
>>36833118No, Dash is the self insert and Lero is the bland-perfect-in-every-way anime husbando.
>>36833435It was shit, tho.
>>36833435It was pretty good. Fuck that bee horse, though.
>>36833461She's one of the only antagonists in the original Xenophilia story.
>>36833515Yeah, fuck that horse.
anyone got the game of pones bin?
>>36833543Yes, but I won't share it with you.
>>36833552
>>36833543https://ponepaste.org/4448
>Ponyville is undergoing a bit of a social crisis.>The mane 6 are extraordinary ponies in every way. Power, beauty, wealth, and exalted spots as legendary heroes.>Because of this, nearly every free stallion in town is gunning for them, even as the 6 reject them for fear of ending up with a gold digger.>It also leaves normal mares not already in a relationship high and dry for the most part.>But neither can they ask the 6 to leave...>The along comes you, who sees all the wacky shit the 6 get up to and says "Fuck that.">And you just stumbled into the perfect town to find a normal mare>Ironically, Anon outright ignoring the M6 in the few opportunities for social interaction, preferring to give attention to common, ‘plain’ and even poor mares was what drawn the M6 interested in him>That and the fact that Anon usually go out of his way to keep his distance from them>First started as simple curiosity over the strange mysterious colt that don’t act like the others>Anon politely rejecting their invites to hang out turn curiosity into a mild obsession over “that one stallion that is outside our reach and keep ignoring us”>Also ironically, Anon rejecting the M6 made the pones in town wary of him>“The only reason to a sane stallion to reject such top quality mares is he being secretly evil, Anon must be planning something!”
>>36833436>>36833374>>36833263Now i can't help but imagine RD tiping on a keyboard rapidly while her eyes are wide open, her cheeks are blushing and there's a bit of drool coming out of her half open mouth as she thinks up the story in her mind
>>36833613
>>36833631KEK
>>36833118>You mean the author self inserts as the dude getting it on with dash,right?No.
>>36832693These little bits of your story keep me going throughout life Anon; curious as always to see how it's gonna go.
>>36832188Xenophilia. Loved Dash, but Lero or whatever the fuck his name was, was a massive wimpy wet blanket.
>>36833540she needs a good public spanking, that should set her straight
>>36834487See: >>36833436 >Lero is the bland-perfect-in-every-way anime husbando.
>>36832693the more i read your story, the more i like it, the more i am reminded of Rogue State Revolution, the more i want to play that game, the more i want a mod to be made with all the characters of your story, please dont stop
>>36834538>"Come on, Anon, we both know you're just gonna break your hand on my flank if you try."
>>36832129That sounds fucking awful. Were you alright?
>>36832693It's a very nice story so far. i hesitate to say comfy, because to me anon is the architect and brick layer, that e has only recently found these opulent foundations on which to build his mighty fortress of comf.
>>36832693I nice little late night surprise, I can't wait to see you write more.
>>36834487>>36834543>tfw his biggest sex hangup is not cuming in his partner's mouth>tfw in a side story he was forced to do so and cried like a bitch
Henlo, is this the green request thread?
>>36832188Does Gentleman for Mares count as RGRE?
>>36834818think it was more of a "proto-RGRE"
>>36834744Yep. I don't know how people can't read that and realize that it's written by a woman and that Dash is the SI, not Lero.
>>36834868>>36834744Well there was that and his fear of herding, ie being a harem protag. He had to be dragged into it, all the while proclaiming that he didn't want it, and Dash was very vocal about how she wasn't into females.
>>36834487Yeah, he was pretty obnoxious. Even the writers of the larger side stories admitted that Lero was treated like shit by that universe, even as they wrote horrible shit happening to him. I remember one story that an author started that was literal cuckshit and the author was surprised that people were pissed and called out both the writers and the members of Lero's herd for being selfish. He took the story down and then made a bunch of comments about how he was going to change it, but that meant that all this other stuff in the Xenoverse would have to change too, Dash would have to give up being a Wonderbolt, Twilight couldn't be a princess, etc. The series attracted some neat ideas and some weird shit, too.
>celestia might have a millenia-strong cake addiction, but she'll never say no to a giant cream pie from her favorite human
>>36835048>anon jerry rigs a cream pie cannon
>>36832693>”No, Your Highness. Thank you for your consideration,” Quill says with a smile as Amethyst just shakes her head.>The servant stallion, still a bit pink in the cheeks, bows once more and silently exits, shutting the door behind himself with a quiet click.“Back on track,” You look between the pair of mares. “How critical were these crystal refineries and runecrafters to the Empire, both economically and otherwise?”>”They were our backbone, Sire,” Quill murmurs, looking down at her reflection in her tea. “The Empire’s farms can sustain us, and our land has modest deposits of ores for our own use, but refining crystals for mana storage and the secrets of runecrafting were our chief export. It gave us leverage in the wider market, and runecraft magic is what made our Empire so desirable, as it effectively put magic in the hooves of anypony who wanted it. With our top runecrafters gone and the crystal refineries running on skeleton crews, our place in the world has been adversely affected.”4/?
>>36835863You sigh. “I see… What sort of things can be accomplished with runecrafting, if you forgive my ignorance?”>”There is nothing to forgive, Sire.” Quill regains her bright smile. “Runecraft is the art of describing refined crystals with runes to direct magic spells, which are powered by the mana stored in the crystals. There is very little they CAN’T do. Basic runes operate with a sort of table, where messages containing spells are activated depending on surrounding conditions, sort of like different-”“-Gates,” you interrupt, making Quill blink in surprise as it suddenly clicks for you. “Boolean logic gates. That's astounding. Like a magic computer of all things,” you mutter, leaning back and letting your imagination run wild. You look up at the crystal lamp on the ceiling, wondering if it’s controlled with a magic switch somewhere in the room. A simple ‘If/Then’ statement would be all that it needs, unless the switch is mechanical like lightswitches back home. “I’ll definitely need to talk to Channel soon.” Then you realize you interrupted Quill and offer the mare a sheepish smile. “I apologize about the interruption, Quill. I was just surprised, is all.”>The emerald-colored mare regains her barings quickly. “No need to apologize, my King. Are you familiar with runecraft?”You debate on what to say with a hum. “Not runecraft, but something similar. Very similar. I’m only a novice of such things, but if you can induce magic phenomena with runecraft and the Empire held a monopoly on such a service, then I understand just how important it is.”>”If it pleases His Highness…” Amethyst begins, tucking a bit of her purple mane behind her ear with a hoof. “I can work with Onyx Scale on a crown-funded incentive for runecraft education once the Empire’s immediate needs are seen to. With so many bits to work with, I imagine many ponies will be pleased to take up the art.”“Please do so.” You smile.>Just then there is frantic knocking on the door. “Highness! Honored ministers!” A mare on the other side cries. “Urgent news!”>Quill jumps from her seat and opens the door, letting a young guardsmare on the other side in. She snaps to a salute and stands with her eyes facing forward.>”What news do you have, guardsmare?” Quill asks, her eyes narrowing. “And identify yourself for His Majesty.”>”Sire, Ma’am! I am Specialist Arrowhead of the 3rd Infantry division!” The mare says, not dropping her salute. “The Crystal Heart! We found it!” 5/?I'll write more and do an actual dump after I get some sleep.
>>36835865>Runecraft is the art of describing refined crystalsinscribing*?>they found the crystal heartassuming it's still behind that door that shows one their deepest fears now we get to see just how strong of character and courage Anon is (and cardio considering the staircase afterward)i just wonder what this anon's worst fear would be? perhaps he's forced to live a scenario where the crystal ponies around him are conquered and curse him for treating their lives like a game?I NEED MOAR
>>36834487Some of the lore it set up was neat, and it was what got me into RGRE. But my god, is that story ever fucking terrible. Remember the time he came in Rarity's mouth and cried because he thought it was so disrespectful? It would have been decent if Lero had any agency to speak of and didn't just go along with what everyone around him wanted. But like many have said, the story makes more sense when you realize that Rainbow Dash is the self-insert, not Lero.
>>36835985His worst fear would probably be dying in obscurity without having accomplished anything, and being forgotten immediately.
>>36836097that's definitely another contender considering he hasn't gone through a whole lot of character development yetof course this is assuming the heart is hidden in the same place as the show and GoP isn't ignoring it for something else that'll make a better story
>>36835571I want to tickle the mail pony
>>36834914I loved writing terrible things happening to Lero. Bugged that boy.
>>36836141I don't get off to cuckshit or edge, so I just don't get that.
>>36830154>ywn have shower sex with Gilda>swn try to lift you up and press you against the wall>ywn slide down to the ground because she forgot it was leg day and good luck supporting the extra weight of an entire person
>>36835865>Runecraft uses logic gates.Unf, love me some structured magic.Hope they manage to get that up and running again.What's the timeline here? I want to assume this is pre-1000 year banishment since the royal sisters haven't been mentioned at all.On that note it's going to be fun times if/when House sapphire get outed as cowards and betrayers to the world at large, especially if Equestria welcomed them with open arms.>>36836106>>36836097His worst fear seems pretty obvious to me given the characterization so far, although writefag could still be planning something different.Forsaking his ideals and becoming another Sombra.Potentially even a reverse of the encounter where he killed him, but with their roles reversed and the Tyrant-Anon coming out the victor.
>>36836208would be a funny story where anon is strong but not visible under baggy clothing (like OPM), and the fact he's shorter than gilda makes it look like she's the stronger one yet anon is uncommonly heavy and strong for his size
>>36834818That was my first too.Read Xenophilia only after finishing the GfM series.
>>36833436>Lero is the bland-perfect-in-every-way anime husbandoWhat kind of insane fujo would want someone like Lero as her ideal husbando ?It's like asking someone what's their favorite drink and they answer lukewarm water.
>>36836246No, have to go further with the comic-book / anime logic.He only has defined muscles during serious moments, if it's comedic enough he has the body of marshmallow.
>>36836246>Lifting her boyfriend isn't just a flex on all the womanlets out there for Gilda, it's a legitimate and effective part of her exercise plan
>>36836282>What kind of insane fujo would want someone like Lero as her ideal husbando ?Look at how many waifus are useless, sweet, moeblobs and you have your answer: lots of people want that.
>Anon is a catholic priest >Builds a church and a confessional booth while trying to spread the good word>A lot of the ponies don't really get it, but some appreciate having someone they can talk to in confidence>More mares just take the opportunity to flirt with him
>>36836298Yeah no. Lero was annoying and cringy as fuck. Even imagining him as a random cute background mare instead, I would still probably want to cuntpunt her.But I guess you are right. I mean, we even have people who like EqG and the haberverse here so ...
>>36836246That's not funny.Also, it's not RGRE enough.Also, it completely undermines Gilda's character in favor of "Anon is just sooooo great!"Also also, it makes no biological or physical sense.
>>36836246That's retarded.
>>36836312>catholic priestThe Crusade era kind or the I-suck-jew-and-sandnigger-dicks modern kind ?
>>36836290>anon has the makings of a dad bod >but RGREQG being more healthy he does not gain as much as he would back home despite having a similar lifestyle>after dating gilda long enough he eventually took on lifting >>36836327i didnt say he was OPM strong, he's lanky twig that looks stronger than he lookskinda like that picture of that little girl lifting ariana grande
>>36836282>disrespecting lukewarm water
>>36836246>anon is just like my favourite manga one punch manI fucking hate weebs
>>36836359>implying there wasn't a little of both in both times.
>>36836312"Confess, my child.">"I confess that I want to motorboat your balls all day, sweet thing. Why don't we get started?">mfw
>>36836480>Anon is a priest of whatever horsefaith ponies have>There are, of course, a bunch of mares who think priests are hot>It's like how you can find an entire category of nun porn depending on what websites you go to>Mares like to joke about trying to get Anon to worship at their alter
Come back soon Sunn.
>>36836393Anon, I only know of one person that likes lukewarm water
>>36836527God I miss Homestar Runner.
>>36835865Looking forward to that dump. Now we got some nice structured magic and a found Crystal Heart.
>>36836511>horsefaithsPony Religion - IRL equivalent> Celestians - Christians/Catholics> Cadenzans - Mormons> Lunars - Gnostics> Twilightians - Budists/Spiritists> Thoraxians - New Agers> Discordians - Discordians> Kirin - Daoists> Chrysalians - Scientoligists> Hipogrifs - Zoroastrian> Grifs - Jews> Tirekians - Satanists> Dragons - Atheists> Yaks - Shamanism> Grogarians - ???~>Pegasi old religion - Greco-roman paganism>Earth Pony old religion - Animism+Celtic Paganism/wicca>Unicorn Old Religion - Ancester worship+Hermetism
>>36836527Remember livejournals? That shit was bananas.
Pegasi who live in different parts of the world have developed different types of feather configurations for different types of flight. Something something swooping season when Anon travels, somethings something Anon's usual tactics to avoid being hashtag-swooped don't work when he visits the horse-tropics, something something RGRE
>>36836766birb
>>36836855moar birb
>>36836855>>36836859I want to pet birb
>>36836620>> Lunars - GnosticsEvery time with you retards>Lunars - Eastern Orthodox
>>36836855>>36836859I miss Bird Pony general
>>36836620>>36836969Nice
>>36832693Nice.
>>36836620>>36836969Are we about to get into another faith war?
>>36836766>>36836855>>36836859I am now desperately interested in pegasus lore. Doesn't even have to be pegasi = weird colorful birb, but places where their wing sizes and feather layout are different and how that would affect their flight and cultural habits.>Some areas of the world have pegasi with a feather layout such that they're faster than other pegasi, and function largely to deliver messages>Other areas have pegasi known for their ability to drift and soar for hours at a time without getting tired due to their feather layout allowing them to catch hot air columns>Pegasi in jungle areas have short broad wings that allow them to maneuver through the trees
>>36836969>>36836620Are there any rare cults of Luna centered around the belief that she banished herself to the moon to save Equestria from the Nightmare ala-jesus that may or may not receive suspiciously generous and regular donations from Canterlot?
>>36837049So go remake it.
How did Anon and Gym-Gilda meet?
>>36837414
>>36837414At the gym, faggot.
>>36837426I should have known. The clues were all there.
>>36826533Round the muzzle a bit and it'll be 11/10
>And with the flash of a camera and the spreading of just one picture, Anon's reputation of a janefilly was destroyed"I knew I never should have agreed to foal-sit the Crusaders."
>>36837767>Now all Anon's stallion friends are giving him tips on getting a mare>How to play hard to get>How to show just enough sock to make her interested, but not so much that it comes off as trashy ("And Anon, honey, that's really something we need to talk about.")>One or two of Anon's friendships between him and a mare are somewhat strained by one-sided sexual tension that wasn't there a week ago
>>36836620What religion would be the Anonicorn's cult equivalent ?
>>36837868>The Doomstar cultSome Ancient aliens and Starchild stuff or some spiritualist cult
>>36837913>>36837868>Something something Anonicorn's cultists are doomsday preppers>They believe the virgin birth of a new alicorn is proof that the end of the world is nigh, and a new world shall be born from the ashes of the old for him to rule as his mother does>They seek to survive the coming End to serve him faithfully in the After>May or may not have anything to do with the doomstar>Also they may or may not have a dedicated "do it for him" room in their various sheltersTechnically speaking with G5 they're right
>>36837741Or, rather, enlarge the eyes and ears
>>36837868Doomstar cultists who see his birth as a herald of the end of Equestria.
>>36837932>>36837913>>36838207>Doomsday cult.>The birth of Anonicorn means their own Equestria's doomsday was averted.>They celebrate his birth, mourn for the alternates that will end, and prepare for possible refugees from those worlds.
>>36838237Nah. The Doomstar, being a mass of unstable magical energy tied to Anonicorns life, is the key to the end of Equestria. The story is a classic tragedy, it starts off happy with Celestia celebrating the birth of her child and at the end of the story that child being the vehicle for the destruction of the land she ruled for thousands of years. It's thematic.
>>36838249It's also dumb, i prefer my version since ponies are silly and it's probably how they'd react after Nightmare moon returned for all of 5 seconds.
>>36838262>t. ota
>>36838278There's a simple test. Just talk about the merits of tragedy and your opinions about how much horses weigh.
>>36838249>DoomstarCringe>WolfensteinbulaBased.
>>36838249Doomstar was always cringe, let's not bring it back.
>>36838320Doomstar is Anonicorn canon. Seethe and cope.
>>36838237>>36838249Anon is pure soul from beyond the stars that came judge the pones of equestria and his judgement has not been passed yetIf he decides that the pone are good, virtuous and worthy he will launch the Doomstar into the sky where it willl turn into a new guidestar that will lead the world into a new golden age But if he deams equestria and ponekind corrupt and wicked he will throw the doomstar crashing on the ground destroing us all, cleansing the world with holy magic
>>36838262
>>36838237ywn horde food, water, medical supplies, weapons, drugs, and explosives in you secret doomsday bunker with your waifu.
>>36838331Nah. Anonicorn is Anon reborn, he can't be some stupid cosmic being. That's retarded and not canon.
>>36838327it's fourth tier canon not first tier canon canon
>>36838338Nah. That list is revisionist bullshit.
>>36838327Nice revisionism.
>>36838337that is just the cult, and anonicorn can be whatever the author want
>>36838327Nah, Doomstar was always cringe.
Which pony reacts worst to hoof-holding?
>>36838352just like all the anonicorn /ptf/ stuff
Are we about to get another thread about people bitching/defending Anonicorn? I thought we all got it out of our system already.
>>36838354Fluttershy or TwilightOne would have a heart attack, the other would intant came the moment you or any other male touch her in any way
>>36838363I say we talk over them. If it's a handful of autists who want to argue, then fuck them. Let's talk thread content instead of waiting for them to shut the fuck up.
>>36838376Yeah let's do that. It seems to be the same group that keeps doing it anyways
>Villain is getting her way >Anonicorn sacrifices himself to save everyone and end up dead/petrified
>>36838363It's not that bad of a problem, the early thread fag will save us again
Pinkie handles her heat weird. She's instantly a lot more charming and has more raw charisma than she did before estrus kicked in, but that all disappears as soon as her heat leaves her. Makes for awkward mornings.
Posting out of the hope for a return of Sunn a thread early.
>>36838391It wasn't that bad of a problem before, then they took up close to half a thread about it. They feed into each other and just derail the thread.
>>36838394>Pinkie goes from Equestria's most to least wanted after her estrus wears off.
>>36838385>>Anonicorn channels the power of the Doomstar in an attempt to save everyone, but he unwittingly sets in motion the prophecy and series of events that eventually causes the destruction of EquestriaFTFY
>>36838394Yeah, the difference is amazing. She's like two different mares.
>>36838342Not really. Even when it was first conceived the whole anon pouring his magic into a ball over Canterlot was stupid.It went against him not knowing shit about magic because he could somehow drain his excess and contain it into the big spooky sphere.How can he feel inferior to Twilight when he is forming a second sun with his magical power?
>>36838441You think it ever gets her in trouble?
>>36838447Because he doesn't know what he's doing. It's the equivalent of an autist being good at math, it's not because of some giftedness but rather a facet of brokenness. He can do it because he can't focus in any other way.
>>36838458Probably a few times
>>36838447Anonicorn is like someone born with a giant cock who has had erectile dysfunction for his entire life. Sure, it's huge and looks impressive, but he can't ever use it so it's an embarrassment and a source of frustration.
>>36838447Superior canon: he has magical wet dreams and can draw weak-willed mares into them. He then releases magical spunk that exckapes into the æther. In time his spunk coalesces into Hörny, the demon of teenage sexual desires. M6 must battle it to save Squirtaea. They risk getting pregnant though.
>>36838466That's interesting. You could use it to explore the dynamics of humiliation fetishism with a bully Twilight.
have a thing
>>36838480Looks nice anon
>>36838480>"Wow, you sweat like a mare. That's kinda hot."
>>36838480>no bulge on the apronHow is he supposed to intimidate rival males and signal his virility to available mares?
>>36838480>"can you hammer me next anon?"
>>36838480>tfw no sexist guardsmare trying to make you her househusband
>>36838480Hi, Neuro! It seems my lure worked! Glad to see you in our neck of the woods!>Tinker Anon is making all the mares blush.>They start a cult of him a la the Russian Gadget Hackwrench cults.>If you sin, he will punish you using his sinister nut lathe with integrated thumb detector.
>>36838480>Get sent to Equestria as this month's flavor of isekai.>Always have an interest in metalworking, used to make horseshoes back home.>No Mare would be caught dead letting a stallion craft them horseshoes, let alone swords.>So you start lying and say that some pony that wishes to remain unknown is giving you her work to sell.>The local Guard likes the look of the metal and asks for a small batch of swords.>They get bored of waiting and send some random Guardsmare to ask what's taking so long.>She comes across you, wearing only your smithing apron and a glove.>Seeing your mostly naked body work on metal is one of the hottest things she's ever seen.>Is determined to make you hers and prove to her mom that she isn't a dyke.
>>36836312PoneTube: Green monkey sings Kyrie Eleison for 10 hours straight
>>36837331Nope, because Ethiopian orthodoxy is clearly superior
>Doomsday cult, either prophesied or prepper>Son of the alicorn of the day>Anonicorn's evil name is Doomsday>cause very mare knows when the husband isn't happy ain't no one happy
Ah shit, we at 470 already? I'll wait to post it then.
>>36838615Early-thread-fag is never around when you need him
Fresh Bread:>>36838658>>36838658>>36838658
>>36838663YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLEThanks.
New Thread>>36838666>>36838666>>36838666
>>36838663FUCK YOU
>>36838672Delete your shit, retard.
>>36838672not this time Satan
>>36838672fuck off
>>36838672RIP, not fast enough.
>>36838663Fuck off with your humanized garbage dumbass. You don't belong here.
>>36838689He got the thread up first, you don't have a say in the matter.
>>36838689You heard him; Human thread is real thread, boyos!>>36838658
>>36838701>>36838689Nope. Not how that works, shitposter.
>>36838705Maybe not, but green-posting does.>>36838699
>>36838672Fuck off retard, we already got one
>>36838689Stay mad, slowfag. If you want your thread to be the next thread, don't be so fucking slow.
RGRE wrap up RGRE wrap up!
>>36838839Three threads of autistic baitingAnd occasional good prompt
bap
baop
>>36838854as is the RGRE way
bop
>>36838854We've kept our fingers nimble and softQuarantined at home and online
boop
doop
>>36838878But the green we've stored is burning hotAnd we can't post in this thread
>>36838891And even though I love these boopsThis place must join the dead
>>36838900The time has come to seek seek lestAnd birth a brand new thread
>>36838904It's also time to say good byeAnd hit the post limit
I have a homophobic slur to say
>>36838910How can I help when all you ree?What does every post do?Writing content that will only vanishIt's the proper thing for you!RGRE wrap up RGRE wrap up!
>>36838919Faggioli
>>36838927
>>36838952What's that thing doing? hauling your mom to the grocery store?
