Green men are required to put these on in Equestria at threat of imprisonment, and deportation upon multiple repeat offenses. Appeals may be considered to any of the 4 reigning Princesses at their discretion.
>>36801627Man can still do evil even then. Ship the intruders to a leper island instead.
>>36801637Then they'll just conspire to do evil together.They should just all be killed.
>>36801627Good thing I’m white then
Apparently Equestria has a problem with Little Green Men.
>>36801627>Kirk and Spock teleport to a region just outside Ponyville.“Mr. Spock, what do you see?”>Spock looks around the area, noticing cartoonish ponies that look like something out of a little girl’s cartoon.>“It’s life, Jim, but not as we know it.”“Well, exploring this is part of our mission, right?”>“Indeed it is, Jim.”“Well, let’s see what it’s like.”>They walk into town and try to buy a drink at the local tavern. However, Spock is noticed by the Ponyville Police Department for his greenish hue.^“I’m sorry, but you’re required by law to wear this.”>A policepony hands Spock the device in oppic.^“It’s not my rule, but you’re required to do so here.”>“But why me and not that other male down the corner?”^“Because you’re a green man.”“Ma’am, rest assured that—”^“If you don’t wear it, I’ll be forced to mark you for deportation.”>Spock administers the Vulcan neck pinch and renders the policepony unconscious. The two successfully flee the tavern, but with police coverage behind them.“Spock, set phasers to kill.”>They both do so.>One by one, they shoot up various policeponies and hear various Wilhelm screams as a result.“Spock, I cannot appreciate how good of shots we good guys are enough. We just saved our own lives there.”>“Fascinating.”
>>36801627Oh than goodness I'm skin coloured.
>>36801745The law has been amended to clarify and specify that the aforementioned green men are also faceless in order for the ruling to be applicable.
>>36801627>grab bolt cutterswhat now faggot?
>>36801627That's too big for me :^)
>>36801920>use boltcutter on horn>pick up gun>moonwalk away
>>36801627>put it on>get to be a sissy cumdumpster for throbbing, succulent maredicksWhere’s the downside?
>>36802448There are no maredicks, filthy degenerate. That device was made especially for people like you. You sicken me.
>>36802448The downside is you have to be a sex toy for mares with vaginas and not dicks.I know, it's unthinkably sad. How truly terrible.
>>36802488>for mares>when your dick is in a cageClearly ponies are tired of unwanted advances from spergs
>>36801745*Screeches in Prime Directive*
>>36801627This thing could be used as a dildo.Therefore>rape
>>36802448this tbh fam
>>36803203Has... Has senpai and desu really been unfiltered? Can I go back to famposting finally?
>>36802448This, so much this
>>36801627Fuck you, I'm not green.I am emerald, you racist.
That's quite wise and considerate of you Twilight, immigrants should also be held to the same expectations as Equestria's citizens if they truly want to be treated as peers, and I happen to have no problem with remaining celibate until my waifu and I are formally married.
>>36801926>implying it's an actual gun and not a toy pistol
Are penis cages an American thing? I literally never seen them before Americans flooded the internet en masse in the early 2010's
>>36803453It's a water pistol filled with juice that turns you into a sissy bimbo femboy. Worse than a gun.
>>36803467It's a globohom jew thing. So yea, makes sense you wouldn't have seen them until the internet got normie-ized with smartphones and the like.
>>36803470>pick up sissifier>use sissifier on shining armor>use penis on shining armor while cadence watches powerlessly
>>36803470Cadence does have a "unique" way of dealing with offenders. Better hope she's not the princess whom your appeal reaches.
>>36803470why is this feminization shit on every board
>>36804150chemicals in the water, bro. Turning the friggen fags gay.
>>36804150I don't know, but its spreading. /mlp/ has always been a decent holdout, but it feels like a losing battle.
>>36803490>while cadence watches powerlesslyTrue Love conquers all. DYEWTS?
>>36801627>Appeals may be considered to any of the 4 reigning Princesses at their discretion.please xplain this process, i do not wish to be caged
>>36804646Appeals are in regards to imprisonments and deportations. Caging is mandatory for all irrespective of circumstance.
>>36804517can't use bullshit love magic without a horn, dumbass.
>>36801627Jesus christ what the dicking fuck is wrong with twifags
>>36804972they self-insert as spike when watching the show and become submissive masochists.
>>36804166Oh no, not the fags. Whatever will we do?
>>36804972Why do you believe you are entitled to use your penis freely in Equestria, much less at all?
>>36805006t. fag enabler>>36805020What're you doing out of your cage, twifag
>>36801627Joke's on you Twilight, that just makes my dick look bigger
>>36801916why yes, hello fellow big swinging dick haver, I agree
>>36804189What are you talking about? I can't tell you how many gay and trans bronies their are, it's part of the Fandom
>>36805578>85% straightPlease don't lie, it makes fillies cry.
>>36805585>there are more asexuals than gays/lesbianslmao
>>36804189>mlp/ has always been a decent holdouthttps://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/18361162/#18370944>2014
>>36807060Some things NEVER change.
>>36801627>Anon is nude because Equestria>Anon is just standing patiently in front of Celestia waiting for her to address him while she's writing at her desk>"Anon, I'm not hearing your appeal today, I am EXTREMELY busy working on a new Saddle Arabia trade agreement and I don't have time for your dick problems.">"Come on, Celly, you know you want this hot monkey dick.">"Please. You think I don't partake in royal orgies with my guards every knight? My needs are fully satisfied, thank you very much.">"But the STAMINA, Celly, the STAMANA! Horse cock just can't last very long.">"Anon, we solved that problem centuries ago with magic. It's equivalent to that pill you told me about. Viagra, I think it was? Geez, I don't know why I'm even humoring you. Go bother my sister. She hasn't been laid in a thousand years."
>>36808023>they needed magic to solve that problemHonestly, once they became civilized and started fucking for pleasure, stamina would naturally go up.Feral primates have shit for stamina, and we outdo them, so why wouldn't ponies outdo feral horses?
>>36808023>"Anon, I'm not hearing your appeal todayPerhaps you may have misread the rules. The appeals are made at *their* discretion. She wouldn't have called upon him if she wasn't to hear his case.
>>36802498what are you trying to say?
>>36808041I meant to write it like Anon was sneaking into her office and begging for an appeal but I kinda forgot to put that in.
>>36808055Ah, I see, well in that case, the punishment for such a crime is...a SMALLER cage. How DARE you intrude upon the royal crown like that unannounced and so delinquently? Absolutely unforgivable. A smaller cage, and dungeon without rations for a WEEK.Filth.
>>36808023>Solved with magicbut magic can't even grow manes back
Do the cages come with integrated shock and vibrate functions activated by magic? There should be a reward/punishment system to encourage good boy behaviours. Anons should be eager to be helpful and useful in whatever way they can as a form of gratitude for being allowed in Equestria. For example, a mare having problems loading heavy stuff on a cart should have no difficulty finding an Anon more than willing to do the work for her, and the mare could reward him with some vibrating pleasure on his caged dick if she deems his work satisfying.
>>36809043Prison for suggesting such a lewd misuse of a preventative tool.
>>36808031>why wouldn't ponies outdo feral horsesBecause my headcanon is more fun than your headcanon.
>>36809043I like the idea of Anon being forced to submit to everypony sexually and non sexually all because they all know that his dick is locked up, a far cry from the sexual tyrannosaur he is usually portrayed as.
>>36801627"AMERICAN CITIZEN HERE NEEDS PROTECTION!">Suddenly, a whole regiment of B-52s appears over Canterlot and gives you flashbacks of Linebacker II as they mow down the city with HE ordnance, then proceeding to Manehattan.
>>36805020God twifags are pathetic.
>>36812600Who would win?Millions of the world’s finest and most disciplined human sailors and soldiers, accompanied by some of the most advanced fighting technology the world has seenORSIX PONY BOIS
>>36812600Nah, the Singapore incident with the teenager getting caned in the 90s proved that modern Americans will just sit back and titter about it* if it involved butts, so I don't think weiners will be any different. * this is leaving out the conservative senators who were like "maybe we ought to be torturing teenagers here!"
>>36812621>Implying Spooky Satellite wouldn't cage her mates in a fit of displaying dominanceCome on.
>>36811886Too bad this board is filled with insecure faggots that start bitching every time ponydom is mentioned.
>>36813398>why do these people coming here for fantasies not like my humiliation and inferiority ideasIf this is your general for that shit keep it in here specificallytheres already an attempt at an sph general they're keeping alive with 'bumps' hahahah because that's all they've got down there
>>36801627Will do more bad than good.Circumcision already achieve a good chunk of what those devices do in most cases, and it make things much worse.
>>36813398You can have ponydom without globohomo sissy garbage. Shocking, I know.
>>36812624A drunk srochnik from the Uryupinsk, accidentally wandering 'round the American army.
>>36813404>>why do these people coming here for fantasiesImma stop you right there. What makes your fantasies any more valid than anyone else's? You're saying the only fantasies people can desire here are only the ones which you have and share?
>>36813013>everyone is as degenerate as i amGod twifags are even more pathetic.
>>36813662Yeah, the "stop liking what I don't like" autism is pretty strong with that one. You bondage fags are alright IMO.
>>36801713So you'll need a smaller one?
>>36801627They are also required to be circumcised if they haven't already been.The circumcision will be performed by Princess Twilight herself, and it will be TIGHT.
>>36814586Woah woah woah, hey, Equestria is a CIVILIZED nation. There is no barbaric mutilation of any kind here. Dungeon for even suggesting that and phrasing it like an official dictation.
>>36804150>on every boardand in every thread
No green potential in this thread, huh?
>>36819260Jesus christ I hate how it takes near 16 hours for shit to 404 here
>>36806390What did you expect from a fandom of schizos?No, seriously, asexuality isn't an orientation, it's a symptom of schizoid personality disorder. And also curable with medication.
>>36819281asexuality is caused by kids having extremely low sex drives because they're over medicated. Medication does the opposite of cure it.
>>36819281>asexuality isn't an orientationRight.But there is nothing wrong in being not interested in sex.Heard about clerical celibacy?
>36819602Overmedication isn't the cause, schizoidness and child abuse in general is.>>36819606Heard about "most people don't practice what they preach"?
>>36819614>Heard about "most people don't practice what they preach"?That's just like your opinion, man.Somebody does that for real, even if it's only singles out of thousands. Nothing is impossible.
>>36819260Plenty, but it's a niche that doesn't attract many writefags
>>36820052>but it's a niche that doesn't attract many writefagsSooooo...no green potential.
ziggers tongue my ponut
>>36819263That actually varies a lot, during fast times it can take just 2-3 hours to archive.>>36819606>Heard about clerical celibacy?Heard about self-control? People don't become monks because they decide "gee I hate sex and eating meat and being lazy and doing things for fun, I wish I never had to do any of it ever again". They decide "I want to dedicade my life to praying in a monastery, rather than pursuing worldly pleasures, because I believe it's more important".
I want to be Twilight's chastity slave. I want her to tease me about my caged dick as I squirm and worship her hooves begging for release. I want to follow her around on a magic leash like a good pet. I want to give her a hooficure while she's reading and kiss her hooves afterwards to thank her for having the honor of serving her. I want to massage her wings at the end of the day as she relaxes and calls me a good boy. I want to rub her back as she takes a bubble bath and brush her mane before she goes to bed. I want to look lovingly and pleadingly at her as she allows me to be her hind hooves pillow for the night. I want to give her hooves a goodnight kiss before falling asleep with my mistress.
>>36821852I can agree with every sentence after the third, but not about the first two
>>36821872How can you say you want to be her slave without letting her lock up your most important asset?
>>36802448The downside is that without the gay mafia movements around, you'll get a fat lip every time you give lip.
>>36821980I think it's a matter of choice. If I submit to Twilight, I'd like it to be of my own free will, not because she's locked/chained me and holds the key over me as blackmail. If I COULD just walk away, but never do, that's much more powerful than getting robbed of my capacities and forced to submit.In a sense, it's about elevating Twilight, rather than debasing myself. I want to say, "I am a self-respecting man, with complete freedom, and, yes, perfectly functional sexual capabilities; and I believe you are worth serving and completely submitting to" (then kiss her hooves and thank her for the honor of serving her). Rather than "Please make me into a worthless plaything, such that I am only good for serving you". If I am emasculated and debased into a worthless slave, the honor of serving her comes from the fact that I am debased, and doesn't say anything about Twilight; if I retain my freedom but willingly give it up, that honor then comes from the fact that I did so.This would also then reflect on my standing with everyone and everypony else. If you want to be emasculated and debased, and some other completely random pony comes by, would you still want to be presented as a plaything? If so, that's not a desire to serve Twilight, that's just a humiliation fetish.
>>36822088>I think it's a matter of choice. If I submit to Twilight, I'd like it to be of my own free will, not because she's locked/chained me and holds the key over me as blackmailWell I agree with you, hence why I said "letting her" lock you up. It's your choice ultimately, after all. Also, >If you want to be emasculated and debased, and some other completely random pony comes by, would you still want to be presented as a plaything? If so, that's not a desire to serve Twilight, that's just a humiliation fetish.No, not necessarily though I wouldn't mind it, the decision to allow full control is one which I would give out very selectively, namely to my waifu. She would be the only one whom I give myself up to as her highest privilege, because she means more to me than anyone else.
>>36822919To be fair, you never wrote "letting her" in your original post.I get the point, but I think the result is that you make a choice once and after that you're locked up. (Excepting stuff like safewords or whatever, but that kind of weakens the fantasy with inconvenient realism, so let's ignore that.) Not being locked up means you're continuously submitting of your own free will, not "begging for release".I'd even remain chaste for her if she asked. Again, of my own will, and due to my desire to please her, not because there's a cage on my penis that I can't open.>>36822933This guy smears shit on his plushie, I don't see how that has anything to do with femdom stuffBut also this is a twifag thread, so I don't know what you expected if you came in wanting normal people
>>36822971>To be fair, you never wrote "letting her" in your original post.>>36821980>without letting her lock up your most important asset?But ok, I see what you mean. We all have different preferences. I just think it's the ultimate (and hottest) sign of submission.
>>36802448ThisAlso there's not enough futa on male chastity art.
>>36823699nigga that's gay. Just let her peg you.
>>36823699Yeah, unfortunately there is not.
>>36801627>urethral insertThat's very mean, Twilight
>>36804150It's the Pink Pillers they have an organized group that tries to push this stuff on every board.
>>36825969Or maybe it's just hot for some people, without being part of any organized group
>>36813727>Thinking Nightmare Moon would not be into 100% maredomGod Noxfag is the most pathetic of them all.
>>36826701Mfw i will never be dominated by a beautiful mare, forced to comply with degenerate acts that please her, until my balls are drained. WL?
>>36826709This night. Will last. FOREVER!
>>36826709>why liveSo we can pretend
>>36801627I think I've worked out what that thing is from the context of discussion in this thread, but now I'm concerned how so many people on this board can just look at that image and know what it is.
>>36826954Either underageb& or super sheltered.
>>36826963I'll have you know I'm an official member of the College of Wizards, I don't have time for this nonsense.
>>36801627Has this law been voted for by an independent legislative body, or is Twi just a dictator who does whatever she wants?
>>36826954It's a castration tool of course. What else could it be?
>>36801627>Twily will never make you eat her horse pussy while your little mutilated White cock leaks uselessly in its cage
>>36827067This, but unironically
>>36826980Well I assume it was a unanimous royal decree, since an appeal can be considered by any of the four.
>>36827067Do you really think Twilight would be into that stuff? What about other ponies? Do you suppose Fluttershy might do it to you because she believes she's actually helping you like she helps every other animal? Like for your own good?What about ponies like Loira or Derpy, or the Flower Trio? Mayor Mare? Cheerilee? What about the princesses? To what extent do the dictators of this rule go?
>>36828320>What about other ponies?luna and rara are propably into some kinky stuff but dont have a way to live out their fantasies. both have more indirect ways for that though.luna enters stallions dreams and sees how they react to that kind of stuff while rara gets really accurate "measurements" and simply makes cages from diamonds, but doesnt give them away... for now
>>36828368>luna enters stallions dreamsBut why would she do that, though? Equestrian natives are wholly exempt from this dictation. It would actually be criminal and treasonous to do so.
>>36828790but anon, they were having nightmares and she needed to help them. and as long as she didnt show herself, how would they know?
>>36828831I suppose, but to actually implement it on their own native citizenry...it would be a total betrayal and failure of the rulership.
>>36828844i think she just gives them suggestions. if they dont like it, she will move on to the next dream. and when they like it, perhaps some magical cages will appear on their doorstep one day, although i dont know how that play would advance from theresimilair to rara. if customers keep coming back for more clothes and require more measurements, she will drop little inuendos to them when they start to get aroused around her
>>36829106I don't know. I just don't see it with Luna. I feel like she'd be the least likely of the four to derive any kind of pleasure or satisfaction from this. In fact, I feel she'd probably feel the most pity.
>>36826954>i'm concerned that anyone would possibly bother to learn about anything after high school even if it was something that was prominent at certain points of history