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>He cannot get a gf on Earth
>He thinks he somehow will get one in Equestria, a place populated by a completely different species
>>
Maybe not a girlfriend but certainly real friends that won't try and backstab you.
>>
>>36188819
the curiosity and wholesome nature of the pones would let anon actually be himself and he would be accepted.
>be accepted
>actually get to go out and do things and build bonds with the mares.
>have a way better shot than in real life, and at the very least make friends and have a hope of being happy.

This is the appeal of equestria.
>>
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yeah but you see, in the elaborate mind palace i have constructed inside my skull, something something actually it's easier to self-insert as the green-skinned suit-wearer with a question mark for a face than as a person with a normal name, something something board culture, vague threat/allusion to newfags and outsiders
>>
>>36188819
did you even watch the first episode? or the first gilda episode?
>>
>>36188925
This Is, for the past 9 years, the most spot on description of an anon fanfic. It hurts
>>
>>36188925
>green-skinned
newfag lmao
>>
>>36188925
Human stamina reminds me of "FOLDED 1000 TIMES".
>>
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>>36188937
>newfag
all the way back to 2012, huh. how about that
>>
>>36188948
Yes. You do realize he's older than that, right?
>>
>>36188951
yes, of course. lmao at the idea of arguing over canon for this truly awful website's collective tulpa though
>>
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>>36188956
>tulpa
anon please stop using words you don't understand.
>>
ha ha that guy is mad at me for some reason
>>
>>36188819
>>a place populated by a completely different species
Joke's on you, I want to be a pony.
>>
>>36188944
I want to say the 'you are a sarcastic asshole' thing is really, really bad, looking back, but I think that's more pop culture at the time combined with, frankly, the age of the person writing those fics to begin with. i was surprised at the number of 'yeah i was like 13 when i started posting here' examples cropping up after the series finished.
>>
>>36188819
>tourist thread
Imagine being this mad over losing to cartoon horses.
>>
>>36188973
>'yeah i was like 13 when i started posting here'
I always feel ancient when I see posts like that, don't like it.
>>
>>36188925
Fuck I wish every anon fic had HUMAN STAMINA that's my shit
>>36188819
There are multiple former horsefuckers I have kept in contact with who have kids now. The anon remnants on 2020 /mlp/ are either reminiscers or newfags. The vast majority of the people on the initial ride left and continued with their lives. Just thought you should know
>>
>>36188971
Joke's on you, you will never be a pony just like a man will never be a woman.
>>
>>36188819
I've had at least two girls after me. I ignored them completely. Fucking >no hooves
>>
>>36188819
I wouldn't be able to get friends or a gf there BUT it would be a very comfy and relaxing place where I could enjoy cute ponies every day.

>walk outside
>No trash on the sidewalk
>No smell of car exhaust
>No homeless people jostling me for money
>No media
>No Annoying family
>No annoying HUMANS
>Just cute ponies, a world with lots of places to explore and lots of friendship
>>
>>36189060
>No annoying HUMANS
but you'd be there
>>
>>36189071
HumanS. There's allowed to be one.
>>
>>36189071
No no no I promise I'll be good celestia AAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE
>gets turned to stone and put next to tirek, cozy and chrysi
>>
>>36189078
(gyuh-hyuck)
>>
>>36188819
Mares outnumber stallions 5:1, I am sure it should be possible to find at least one incel mare who has not found a herd.
>>
>>36188819
I just want to go there to see all the cool creatures
>>
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>>36189039
>angry bald green man is jealous of my shiny coat and my fluffy tail
>>
>>36189230
You're the equivalent of "It's 'MA'AM'!"
>>
>>36188961
>>36188956
Yeah, the term for a collective tulpa is an egregore
>>
>>36189039
magic will find a way
I'd at least stay a stallion though, miss me with that anonfilly faggotry
>>
>>36188925
My sides
>>
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>>36189239
>>
>>36188819
Why would I want a gf on earth?
>>
>>36189313
The soilents lose their shit when they don't see themselves in others.
>noooo why are you not conforming and being a heccin good cog
>if I have to chance getting cucked so do youuuu no fair no fair
>>
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>>36189318
I've seen so many men rise in pleasure with the start of a relationship and then fall into alcoholism and even suicide at the end of one.

Roasties, not even once
>>
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>>36189328
>>
i dont know
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>>36189039
>a woman
Dude's getting unhinged, you either take the ponypill or you wake back up on Earth.
>>
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>>36189328
*I've read so many reddit and r9k screencaps
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>>36189826
You have? Better you than me, xir.
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>>36189838
The tranny mafia is coming for you. Hide your dick.
-Q
>>
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>>36189844
I swear this tranny mafia shit is real. My friend told me he thought he was getting gangstalked or stalked by this tranny, some she-man he swears he never even met got him fired from his job over a sexual harassment claim and about a year or two ago he started making friends with a bunch of trannies and he "came out" as one two months ago.
I swear it might actually be fucking real.
>>
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>>36188819
>implying I even want a gf
>>
>>36189899
Normgroids lose their mind when you say you don't want a gf.
>>
>>36189903
I mean, it's completely understandable to not want a 3dpd gf, but you don't want a qt pony gf either? You sure you're not gay, bro?
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>>36189899
You say it's voluntary, but really it's involuntary.
>>
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>>36189912
Just say what you came to say, nigger ass soilent.
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>>36189908
I want a pony gf but obviously I'm not worthy of one until I become a better person
>>
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>>36189908
>but you don't want a qt pony gf either?
And be unfaithful to my waifu?
>>36189912
>it's involuntary
I don't get what you're trying to imply. Name the law that says every man must get a girlfriend.
>>
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>>36189912
>everybody has to fit the mental mold I came up with in my head
>>
>>36189926
That's more like it.

>>36189929
>And be unfaithful to my waifu?
Is your waifu not a pony? Or do you not want to be in a relationship with your pony waifu?
>>
>>36189945
>waifu?
>Is your waifu not a pony? Or do you not want to be in a relationship with your pony waifu
I interpreted your previous post as getting a random pony gf.
>>
>>36189931
Yes.
>>36189929
I'm not saying you have to, I'm just saying you couldn't if you wanted to and saying that you don't want to is a coping mechanism. Sour grapes, specifically.
>>
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>>36188819
>"tee hee ponies wouldn't like you, incel" thread #6348
Kill yourself.
>>
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>>36189977
No one cares. Why do you things keep coming here?
>>
Blow it out your ass. ^:)
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>>36190011
the important thing is, the person on top, is real. the person on the bottom, is not, nor is the cartoon character.
>>
>>36189977
Not everyone is you, dipshit. Stop projecting so hard.
>>
>>36190039
I don't think your girlfriends boyfriend allows you this free computer time to waste it by trying to insult us.
>>
>>36190051
all of the words i have spoken are true, and correct.
>>
>>36189977
Trust me, any idiot in my country can get their dick wet with a party slut (or rather, could due to corona) if they knew where to go and how to act. The stereotypical 3000lb autistic turbovirgin with 0 IRL friends is just a caricature.
>>
>>36190039
Based
>>36190011
Seething
>>
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>>36190053
>>36190139
>waaah dey r fake excel dey r fake u virgin
>>
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>>36190155
Why are you so mad to encounter normal people outside of your /nmp/ safespace?
>>
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>>36190167
Normal people have no business here. Especially cucks who tout it like a badge of pride.
You're on the cartoon horse board, there are virgins here and a fuckton of escapism. Go back.
>>
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>>36189039
You fags always find a way to bring trannies into the conversation.
>>
>>36188819
Based
Fuck waifufags
>>
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>>36190188
>nooo stop reminding me there are normal people who can like ponies and 4chan without being a complete social outcast
>>
>>36190206
He doesn't post here for sixteen hours a day about how miserable he is! Get him!!
>>
>>36190206
By definition you cant be "normal" if you like ponies and/or browse 4chan.
Normies think ponies are for little girls and degenerates and they also think 4chan is full of hackers, terrorists and right-wing terrorist hackers.
>>
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>>36190206
>Why yes I do visit an obscure ugandan cave painting forum and mention how functional I am, how could you tell?
>>
>>36190222
>>36190220
>>36190212
>nooo 4chan and mlp HAVE to be your whole personality you can't just compartmentalize your life
>>
>he wants to fuck a pony
I thought you guys were just joking
>>
>>36188925
Please don't post this, it hurts...
>>
>>36190511
Yeah it was just an elaborate prank bro, 10 years in the making. We're getting paid for this too so it's not in vain, I'm probably gonna get fired for spilling the beans.
>>
>>36190538
will you shut the fuck up? if you tell them about the portal on top of everything else i swear you're not invited to brunch on tuesday
>>
>>36188925
topkek
>>
>>36188925
While this is a spot on description of AiE stories, it implicitly excludes any notions that those stories can be entertaining. There are plenty of generic stories that are actually pretty interesting because they're presented well (ie, they're funny, have good prose, etc). A story doesn't have to be unique to be good.

The "falling asleep after pornography happens" is fucking hilarious though.
>>
>>36189230
We will have sex, and we will both enjoy it.
>>
>>36190550
>it implicitly excludes any notions that those stories can be entertaining
Good
>>
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>>36190564
But that's wrong retard. Generic stories turned good through varying presentation has occurred many times.
>>
>>36190627
t. shit taste and enjoys the same story over and over
>>
>>36190675
t. ESL.
>>
>>36190167
>>36190206
>>36190237
>t. failed normal
>>
>>36190237
How the fuck does someone fit their entire personality into a post you read then? Are you sure you aren't seeing things?
>>
>>36190540
you ruined the fucking surprise man
>>
>>36190705
Chads>normie>failed normie>autist
>>
H
>>
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>>36191161
Wow, how original.
>>
>>36188925
Post this everytime this subject comes up
>>
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>>36188819
Well, I'm not a mishippo, so I think I have a much better chance. Maybe even a good one.
>>
>>36191796
>mishippo
A Mississippi Hippo?
>>
>>36191945
Mississippi? Hell no. I'm an Alabama hippo.
>>
...of the striped variety. I just wanna be free.
>>
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>>36188819
>OP cannot get a gf on Earth
>He thinks he somehow will get one in Equestria by making a "ponis woodent like u inkwells xd" thread no. 5812544
>>
I want to fuck a horse
>>
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>>36191161
>chad > anything
I fucking swear, everyone forgets that "Chad" is supposed to be derogatory.
>>
>>36188819
Ponies aren't as malicious as real women.
>>
>>36192476
so is faggot but everyone here is one
>>
>>36192476
In this post-modern world it isn't anymore.
>>
>>36192481
It's been a very long time since faggot lost its malicious edge on this website
>>
>>36192489
exactly
>>
>>36190550
>The "falling asleep after pornography happens" is fucking hilarious though.
Falling asleep might be contrived, but it's also realistic. All I want to do after sex is cuddle and fall asleep, even if it's just a quick nap.
>>
>>36192476
You know how things go, first it's an insult or sarcastic, then people start to shitpost with it, then it's ironic, then it's joking yet serious.
>>
>>36189328
Don't forget the near impossibility of reducing egg cells.
Artificial wombs are more likely that obsolete males.
>>
>>36190011
Replace the false meme with an NPC.
>>
>>36188971
haha jokes on you, that's retarded
>>
>>36189977
So you have cured every mental disorder and fetish then?
>>
Im cool
>>
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>>36193353
Don't worry the threads still here xd
>>
>>36189230
>rape
>>
>>36188980
>everyone i dont like is a tourist
>>
>>36192090
Damn, looks like OP cut you a little deep there.
>>
>>36192868
The cure I would recommend is 1 ounce of lead taken intra-cranially
>>
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>>36188925
>>36190550
>>36192522
The beating in your chest. The love in your heart. The pleasure sinks into your husk, your vessel of euphoria.
You look at Pinkie lying atop your chest. Her mane is wild, moreso than usual. Her eyes have that glazed over look, her open-mouth smile goofy and her tongue lolling out like a dog’s. Then, life flickers in those eyes of hers. They flicker up to you. Her messy smile widens.
“W-was it just as good for you too, Nonny-poo?”
You’re about to nod. About to say you something. About say you love her, that you’re so happy to make her feel good, so happy to feel this good yourself! But then…
“Nonny? Nonners! W-what’s happening to you!?”
“Whaddya mean what’s happening to--OH FUCK.”
You look at your hands. They’re see-through! No, wait— they’re fading! In and out, vanishing and appearing, like a flickering light switch. And then, thumper rumbles from the clouds outside your window. They turn grey a mask the sky with darkness. The only light comes from surging bolts of lightning.
“Um, Pinkie? I-is this normal?” you ask. She puts a hoof in her mane. Yanks out a schedule-book, then looks up at you and shakes her head. “Is today the third? Discord said he was gonna visit Fluttershy on the third.”
Then, more lightning, more thunder, and rushing wind lifts up the roof of Sugarcube Corner. YOu’re pelted with gusts of hellish rainfall.
A loud booming voice shouts as if from the heavens, rumbling the earth itself, theatrical as it is British.
“ANONYMOUS,” it says, “YOU’VE FINALLY EJACULATED! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!?” You shield yourself from the elements lifting Pinkie up as a shield.
“What’s happening!?!” you try to yell over the wind and thunder. Pinkie shakes in terror. It sounds like Scooby Doo when he shakes and shivers with that gay rattling sound effect.
>>
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>>36195230
Suddenly, directly above you, the clouds part like the Red Sea did for Moses, and out from them bursts forth the giant face of Sir Patrick Stewart. “YOU’VE RUINED THE NATURAL ORDER!” it says. It then opens its mouth and sticks out its tongue. Galloping out from the tongue are four muscular ponies riding even more muscular buff guys, one dressed in white, one red, one black, and one which is just sickly pale. The ride along the air with no wings, but tread upon the sky as if it were the ground. Following them from the Patrick Stewart’s mouth are legions of fat neckbeards in cloaks, all stained and that barely fit their bulging fat guts. With staffs and their neckbeards long and gray and gay, they levitate across the land shooting lazers to the music of Akira Ifukube’s Godzilla theme.
You cry. You scream and you cry and you bawl.
“Why is this happening!?” you ask. A lightning bolt zaps Pinkie like a lightning rod. Instead of exploding normally, she instead turns into a bunch of mini-Pinkies which spread out and devour the building.
“YOU HAVE EJACULATED,” says the Patrick Steward head. “AND SO YOU HAVE RESIGNED FROM THE COUNCIL OF WIZARDS! YOU ARE NO LONGER A PURE FORTY-FIVE YEAR-OLD MASTER OF MIND AND MATTER!”
The ground breaks open. Hellfire and screams of Glim-Glams erupts from the pits of damnation.
There is nothing you can do but crawl into a little ball, siffling. “G-git rekt, W-weird Al…” You are promptly eaten by a horde of rubber chickens. They never told you this in sex ed.

I forgot to greentext format it ha ha fucking kill me
>>
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>>36195242
>>36195230
Nice
>>
>>36195230
>>36195242
this is pretty much the culmination of everything good this thread could possibly bear
>>
>>36195242
Fucking hell. Bath salts or mescaline?
>>
>>36195242
Man these no nut November fever dreams are out of control!
>>
>>36189079
not a bad death desu
>>
>>36195348
>death
So naive.
>>
>>36195362
i mean, unless they put me against a fucking wall and cover everything up i could still see and hear everything so it isnt that bad knowing that i got chrysy by my side.
im sure eventually we would get free
>>
>>36195385
Dude people go insane in solitary. The stoning is a fate worse than death. And you're not with her since you can't turn your head to see her or communicate with her. You're alone. In the dark. Forever. Fucking ponies are savage i tell you. Fuck Haber. Stoning is fucked up.
My girls would put an end to this, not be a player in it.
>>
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>>36195230
>>36195242
>>
>>36195230
>>36195242
>Suddenly, directly above you, the clouds part like the Red Sea did for Moses, and out from them bursts forth the giant face of Sir Patrick Stewart. “YOU’VE RUINED THE NATURAL ORDER!” it says.
>“Why is this happening!?” you ask. A lightning bolt zaps Pinkie like a lightning rod. Instead of exploding normally, she instead turns into a bunch of mini-Pinkies which spread out and devour the building.
>The ground breaks open. Hellfire and screams of Glim-Glams erupts from the pits of damnation.
>“G-git rekt, W-weird Al…” You are promptly eaten by a horde of rubber chickens.
I'm DYINGGGGGG
>>
>>36189912
When I am not putting any effort into finding a relationship it is voluntary thought.
>>
>>36188825
Says a lot about the state of civilization.
Community is measured by the strength of its weakest link.
>>
>>36192476
It's exclusive to America. Other places use chad or skirt-chaser as a massive insult, and they expect male virginity.
>>
>>36197208
>expect male virginity
No they fucking don't LMFAO
>>
>>36189912
If you're Jewish or Catholic, it's enforced.
>>
>>36189931
Friendly reminder that it's a US-specific mold.
Literally only one nation has this word and it's practically untranslatable into non-English languages.
>>
>>36198325
Hey good save I was worried this thread might not stay on the catalog how do I like your post and give you gold, stranger?
>>
>>36198325
I can confirm and I'm only half a goat.
>>
>>36194615
>>36194782
Zoo's closed, go back to your gf's and their boyfriends
>>
>>36198332
Yeah, email me at getdabbedonretard@hotmail.com
>>
>>36198332
>gold
?
>>
>>36199636
Don't BS me, cuck, you know what it is



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