>He cannot get a gf on Earth>He thinks he somehow will get one in Equestria, a place populated by a completely different species
Maybe not a girlfriend but certainly real friends that won't try and backstab you.
>>36188819the curiosity and wholesome nature of the pones would let anon actually be himself and he would be accepted.>be accepted>actually get to go out and do things and build bonds with the mares. >have a way better shot than in real life, and at the very least make friends and have a hope of being happy. This is the appeal of equestria.
yeah but you see, in the elaborate mind palace i have constructed inside my skull, something something actually it's easier to self-insert as the green-skinned suit-wearer with a question mark for a face than as a person with a normal name, something something board culture, vague threat/allusion to newfags and outsiders
>>36188819did you even watch the first episode? or the first gilda episode?
>>36188925This Is, for the past 9 years, the most spot on description of an anon fanfic. It hurts
>>36188925Human stamina reminds me of "FOLDED 1000 TIMES".
>>36188937>newfagall the way back to 2012, huh. how about that
>>36188948Yes. You do realize he's older than that, right?
>>36188951yes, of course. lmao at the idea of arguing over canon for this truly awful website's collective tulpa though
>>36188956>tulpaanon please stop using words you don't understand.
ha ha that guy is mad at me for some reason
>>36188819>>a place populated by a completely different speciesJoke's on you, I want to be a pony.
>>36188944I want to say the 'you are a sarcastic asshole' thing is really, really bad, looking back, but I think that's more pop culture at the time combined with, frankly, the age of the person writing those fics to begin with. i was surprised at the number of 'yeah i was like 13 when i started posting here' examples cropping up after the series finished.
>>36188819>tourist threadImagine being this mad over losing to cartoon horses.
>>36188973>'yeah i was like 13 when i started posting here'I always feel ancient when I see posts like that, don't like it.
>>36188925Fuck I wish every anon fic had HUMAN STAMINA that's my shit>>36188819There are multiple former horsefuckers I have kept in contact with who have kids now. The anon remnants on 2020 /mlp/ are either reminiscers or newfags. The vast majority of the people on the initial ride left and continued with their lives. Just thought you should know
>>36188971Joke's on you, you will never be a pony just like a man will never be a woman.
>>36188819I've had at least two girls after me. I ignored them completely. Fucking >no hooves
>>36188819I wouldn't be able to get friends or a gf there BUT it would be a very comfy and relaxing place where I could enjoy cute ponies every day. >walk outside>No trash on the sidewalk>No smell of car exhaust>No homeless people jostling me for money>No media >No Annoying family >No annoying HUMANS>Just cute ponies, a world with lots of places to explore and lots of friendship
>>36189060>No annoying HUMANSbut you'd be there
>>36189071HumanS. There's allowed to be one.
>>36189071No no no I promise I'll be good celestia AAAIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE>gets turned to stone and put next to tirek, cozy and chrysi
>>36188819Mares outnumber stallions 5:1, I am sure it should be possible to find at least one incel mare who has not found a herd.
>>36188819I just want to go there to see all the cool creatures
>>36189039>angry bald green man is jealous of my shiny coat and my fluffy tail
>>36189230You're the equivalent of "It's 'MA'AM'!"
>>36188961>>36188956Yeah, the term for a collective tulpa is an egregore
>>36189039magic will find a wayI'd at least stay a stallion though, miss me with that anonfilly faggotry
>>36188819Why would I want a gf on earth?
>>36189313The soilents lose their shit when they don't see themselves in others.>noooo why are you not conforming and being a heccin good cog>if I have to chance getting cucked so do youuuu no fair no fair
>>36189318I've seen so many men rise in pleasure with the start of a relationship and then fall into alcoholism and even suicide at the end of one.Roasties, not even once
i dont know
>>36189039>a womanDude's getting unhinged, you either take the ponypill or you wake back up on Earth.
>>36189328*I've read so many reddit and r9k screencaps
>>36189826You have? Better you than me, xir.
>>36189838The tranny mafia is coming for you. Hide your dick.-Q
>>36189844I swear this tranny mafia shit is real. My friend told me he thought he was getting gangstalked or stalked by this tranny, some she-man he swears he never even met got him fired from his job over a sexual harassment claim and about a year or two ago he started making friends with a bunch of trannies and he "came out" as one two months ago.I swear it might actually be fucking real.
>>36188819>implying I even want a gf
>>36189899Normgroids lose their mind when you say you don't want a gf.
>>36189903I mean, it's completely understandable to not want a 3dpd gf, but you don't want a qt pony gf either? You sure you're not gay, bro?
>>36189899You say it's voluntary, but really it's involuntary.
>>36189912Just say what you came to say, nigger ass soilent.
>>36189908I want a pony gf but obviously I'm not worthy of one until I become a better person
>>36189908>but you don't want a qt pony gf either?And be unfaithful to my waifu?>>36189912>it's involuntaryI don't get what you're trying to imply. Name the law that says every man must get a girlfriend.
>>36189912>everybody has to fit the mental mold I came up with in my head
>>36189926That's more like it.>>36189929>And be unfaithful to my waifu?Is your waifu not a pony? Or do you not want to be in a relationship with your pony waifu?
>>36189945>waifu?>Is your waifu not a pony? Or do you not want to be in a relationship with your pony waifuI interpreted your previous post as getting a random pony gf.
>>36189931Yes.>>36189929I'm not saying you have to, I'm just saying you couldn't if you wanted to and saying that you don't want to is a coping mechanism. Sour grapes, specifically.
>>36188819>"tee hee ponies wouldn't like you, incel" thread #6348Kill yourself.
>>36189977No one cares. Why do you things keep coming here?
Blow it out your ass. ^:)
>>36190011the important thing is, the person on top, is real. the person on the bottom, is not, nor is the cartoon character.
>>36189977Not everyone is you, dipshit. Stop projecting so hard.
>>36190039I don't think your girlfriends boyfriend allows you this free computer time to waste it by trying to insult us.
>>36190051all of the words i have spoken are true, and correct.
>>36189977Trust me, any idiot in my country can get their dick wet with a party slut (or rather, could due to corona) if they knew where to go and how to act. The stereotypical 3000lb autistic turbovirgin with 0 IRL friends is just a caricature.
>>36190053>>36190139>waaah dey r fake excel dey r fake u virgin
>>36190155Why are you so mad to encounter normal people outside of your /nmp/ safespace?
>>36190167Normal people have no business here. Especially cucks who tout it like a badge of pride.You're on the cartoon horse board, there are virgins here and a fuckton of escapism. Go back.
>>36189039You fags always find a way to bring trannies into the conversation.
>>36190188>nooo stop reminding me there are normal people who can like ponies and 4chan without being a complete social outcast
>>36190206He doesn't post here for sixteen hours a day about how miserable he is! Get him!!
>>36190206By definition you cant be "normal" if you like ponies and/or browse 4chan.Normies think ponies are for little girls and degenerates and they also think 4chan is full of hackers, terrorists and right-wing terrorist hackers.
>>36190206>Why yes I do visit an obscure ugandan cave painting forum and mention how functional I am, how could you tell?
>>36190222>>36190220>>36190212>nooo 4chan and mlp HAVE to be your whole personality you can't just compartmentalize your life
>he wants to fuck a ponyI thought you guys were just joking
>>36188925Please don't post this, it hurts...
>>36190511Yeah it was just an elaborate prank bro, 10 years in the making. We're getting paid for this too so it's not in vain, I'm probably gonna get fired for spilling the beans.
>>36190538will you shut the fuck up? if you tell them about the portal on top of everything else i swear you're not invited to brunch on tuesday
>>36188925While this is a spot on description of AiE stories, it implicitly excludes any notions that those stories can be entertaining. There are plenty of generic stories that are actually pretty interesting because they're presented well (ie, they're funny, have good prose, etc). A story doesn't have to be unique to be good.The "falling asleep after pornography happens" is fucking hilarious though.
>>36189230We will have sex, and we will both enjoy it.
>>36190550>it implicitly excludes any notions that those stories can be entertainingGood
>>36190564But that's wrong retard. Generic stories turned good through varying presentation has occurred many times.
>>36190627t. shit taste and enjoys the same story over and over
>>36190167>>36190206>>36190237>t. failed normal
>>36190237How the fuck does someone fit their entire personality into a post you read then? Are you sure you aren't seeing things?
>>36190540you ruined the fucking surprise man
>>36191161Wow, how original.
>>36188925Post this everytime this subject comes up
>>36188819Well, I'm not a mishippo, so I think I have a much better chance. Maybe even a good one.
>>36191796>mishippoA Mississippi Hippo?
>>36191945Mississippi? Hell no. I'm an Alabama hippo.
...of the striped variety. I just wanna be free.
>>36188819>OP cannot get a gf on Earth>He thinks he somehow will get one in Equestria by making a "ponis woodent like u inkwells xd" thread no. 5812544
I want to fuck a horse
>>36191161>chad > anythingI fucking swear, everyone forgets that "Chad" is supposed to be derogatory.
>>36188819Ponies aren't as malicious as real women.
>>36192476so is faggot but everyone here is one
>>36192476In this post-modern world it isn't anymore.
>>36192481It's been a very long time since faggot lost its malicious edge on this website
>>36190550>The "falling asleep after pornography happens" is fucking hilarious though.Falling asleep might be contrived, but it's also realistic. All I want to do after sex is cuddle and fall asleep, even if it's just a quick nap.
>>36192476You know how things go, first it's an insult or sarcastic, then people start to shitpost with it, then it's ironic, then it's joking yet serious.
>>36189328Don't forget the near impossibility of reducing egg cells.Artificial wombs are more likely that obsolete males.
>>36190011Replace the false meme with an NPC.
>>36188971haha jokes on you, that's retarded
>>36189977So you have cured every mental disorder and fetish then?
>>36193353Don't worry the threads still here xd
>>36188980>everyone i dont like is a tourist
>>36192090Damn, looks like OP cut you a little deep there.
>>36192868The cure I would recommend is 1 ounce of lead taken intra-cranially
>>36188925>>36190550>>36192522The beating in your chest. The love in your heart. The pleasure sinks into your husk, your vessel of euphoria. You look at Pinkie lying atop your chest. Her mane is wild, moreso than usual. Her eyes have that glazed over look, her open-mouth smile goofy and her tongue lolling out like a dog’s. Then, life flickers in those eyes of hers. They flicker up to you. Her messy smile widens. “W-was it just as good for you too, Nonny-poo?” You’re about to nod. About to say you something. About say you love her, that you’re so happy to make her feel good, so happy to feel this good yourself! But then…“Nonny? Nonners! W-what’s happening to you!?”“Whaddya mean what’s happening to--OH FUCK.”You look at your hands. They’re see-through! No, wait— they’re fading! In and out, vanishing and appearing, like a flickering light switch. And then, thumper rumbles from the clouds outside your window. They turn grey a mask the sky with darkness. The only light comes from surging bolts of lightning.“Um, Pinkie? I-is this normal?” you ask. She puts a hoof in her mane. Yanks out a schedule-book, then looks up at you and shakes her head. “Is today the third? Discord said he was gonna visit Fluttershy on the third.”Then, more lightning, more thunder, and rushing wind lifts up the roof of Sugarcube Corner. YOu’re pelted with gusts of hellish rainfall. A loud booming voice shouts as if from the heavens, rumbling the earth itself, theatrical as it is British.“ANONYMOUS,” it says, “YOU’VE FINALLY EJACULATED! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!?” You shield yourself from the elements lifting Pinkie up as a shield. “What’s happening!?!” you try to yell over the wind and thunder. Pinkie shakes in terror. It sounds like Scooby Doo when he shakes and shivers with that gay rattling sound effect.
>>36195230Suddenly, directly above you, the clouds part like the Red Sea did for Moses, and out from them bursts forth the giant face of Sir Patrick Stewart. “YOU’VE RUINED THE NATURAL ORDER!” it says. It then opens its mouth and sticks out its tongue. Galloping out from the tongue are four muscular ponies riding even more muscular buff guys, one dressed in white, one red, one black, and one which is just sickly pale. The ride along the air with no wings, but tread upon the sky as if it were the ground. Following them from the Patrick Stewart’s mouth are legions of fat neckbeards in cloaks, all stained and that barely fit their bulging fat guts. With staffs and their neckbeards long and gray and gay, they levitate across the land shooting lazers to the music of Akira Ifukube’s Godzilla theme. You cry. You scream and you cry and you bawl.“Why is this happening!?” you ask. A lightning bolt zaps Pinkie like a lightning rod. Instead of exploding normally, she instead turns into a bunch of mini-Pinkies which spread out and devour the building. “YOU HAVE EJACULATED,” says the Patrick Steward head. “AND SO YOU HAVE RESIGNED FROM THE COUNCIL OF WIZARDS! YOU ARE NO LONGER A PURE FORTY-FIVE YEAR-OLD MASTER OF MIND AND MATTER!”The ground breaks open. Hellfire and screams of Glim-Glams erupts from the pits of damnation. There is nothing you can do but crawl into a little ball, siffling. “G-git rekt, W-weird Al…” You are promptly eaten by a horde of rubber chickens. They never told you this in sex ed. I forgot to greentext format it ha ha fucking kill me
>>36195230>>36195242this is pretty much the culmination of everything good this thread could possibly bear
>>36195242Fucking hell. Bath salts or mescaline?
>>36195242Man these no nut November fever dreams are out of control!
>>36189079not a bad death desu
>>36195362i mean, unless they put me against a fucking wall and cover everything up i could still see and hear everything so it isnt that bad knowing that i got chrysy by my side.im sure eventually we would get free
>>36195385Dude people go insane in solitary. The stoning is a fate worse than death. And you're not with her since you can't turn your head to see her or communicate with her. You're alone. In the dark. Forever. Fucking ponies are savage i tell you. Fuck Haber. Stoning is fucked up. My girls would put an end to this, not be a player in it.
>>36195230>>36195242>Suddenly, directly above you, the clouds part like the Red Sea did for Moses, and out from them bursts forth the giant face of Sir Patrick Stewart. “YOU’VE RUINED THE NATURAL ORDER!” it says.>“Why is this happening!?” you ask. A lightning bolt zaps Pinkie like a lightning rod. Instead of exploding normally, she instead turns into a bunch of mini-Pinkies which spread out and devour the building.>The ground breaks open. Hellfire and screams of Glim-Glams erupts from the pits of damnation.>“G-git rekt, W-weird Al…” You are promptly eaten by a horde of rubber chickens.I'm DYINGGGGGG
>>36189912When I am not putting any effort into finding a relationship it is voluntary thought.
>>36188825Says a lot about the state of civilization.Community is measured by the strength of its weakest link.
>>36192476It's exclusive to America. Other places use chad or skirt-chaser as a massive insult, and they expect male virginity.
>>36197208>expect male virginityNo they fucking don't LMFAO
>>36189912If you're Jewish or Catholic, it's enforced.
>>36189931Friendly reminder that it's a US-specific mold.Literally only one nation has this word and it's practically untranslatable into non-English languages.
>>36198325Hey good save I was worried this thread might not stay on the catalog how do I like your post and give you gold, stranger?
>>36198325I can confirm and I'm only half a goat.
>>36194615>>36194782Zoo's closed, go back to your gf's and their boyfriends
>>36198332Yeah, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
>>36199636Don't BS me, cuck, you know what it is