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Previous thread: >>36143397

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first for best
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OP was first and you're right: she is best.
>We lost out on side-bush and that smug smirk
worst timeline
love you nignogs
>/fit/ gilda wants a protein shake but is all out
>she picks (You) up and just sucks the cum right out of (You)
>Be Anon
>Be dating Fit!Gilda
>Or 'Gil' to her weird blue friend
>You've made plenty a fish pun after you heard that, just because you know it annoys her.
>Like on a fi-
>Anyway, you are basically her pit crew for before and after she hits the gym
>You organize the purchases and distribution of her suppliments and shit
>For whatever reason, she burns through the protein powder at a faster rate than anything else
>Even when you buy the BIG tubs
>When she's close to running out, sometimes she'll get get you to, uh...
>A dose of protein for her.
>All in all, not a bad life.
I imagine her boobs are hard
You've never touched boobs before have you
>implying everyone did here
>implying ANYONE did here
Yes, anon. The tits are filled with muscles, and they get hard and firm when a girl works out, You hit the nail on the head.
>Gilda's milk is literally muscle milk
If she ever has a child, that child will be swole as hell
Since evolution doesn't intend any scenario, imagine how weird our species would be if women got the better end of the deal with sexual dimorphism?

Women have to physically protect men and deal with pregnancy? Either humanity would go extinct early or we wouldn't have nearly 8 billion people today.
There are lots of species where the females are stronger than the males, anon
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>Be Anon.
>At this point, you suspect it's a law of nature -- every time things start improving for you, something goes wrong.
>Fix yourself physically and mentally so that you're no longer the fat neurotic weakling you used to be?
>Here's a years-long string of financial crises.
>Finally have enough money to move?
>Well, now no graduate school will take you because the culture has changed and you're a white male in a social science field (yay, anthropology / archeology).
>Throw up your hands, bow to social pressure, give up on being an academic, learn a skilled trade, and finally get a job that pays a living wage?
>Shitty women assume that you're a dumb money dispenser because you work in a skilled trade, and most smart women are too status-conscious to date a tradie. (Also, you're now older and can only fuck twice a day.)
>Move somewhere that you can actually afford a house, so that you can finally settle down, go hunting, and catch up on your reading?
>The universe (multiverse?) decides to fling your truck into an alien world in mid-move.
>At least you landed in an abandoned museum.
>You initially thought that the frescoes of magic-wielding unicorns were a cultural thing, but the overall preponderance of evidence from artifacts indicates that no, you've landed among tiny sapient Technicolor unicorns... and pegasi... and hornless, wingless horses that you suspect are also probably magical. Then again, they could be a slave race.
>Also, their writing system is effectively gibberish at the moment.
>Oh, and the museum is home to a pack of giant wood-covered Goliath frogs the size of mastiffs.
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Have this absurd Anon and Bon-Bon comic while I finish hammering out the next post: https://derpibooru.org/images/1316315?q=bonbon+AND+oc%3Aanon
You two must be fun at parties. Can't you see how ripped she is? I bet her pecs have pecs.
I'm very much aware of that, it's not a sexist statement. I'm just mentioning for primates it would be an odd turn of events.
>"Wow, I bet her hair gets real stiff and glows neon green after a workout!"
>>"That doesn't happen."
>"You must be fun at parties."
Anon, don't be salty when someone rightly calls you a dumbass.
I can't believe you're that dense, so I'll assume you're very good. Almost got a rise out of me.
OP's pic got a rise out of me if you catch my drift
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>Correction - WAS home.
>You thought they were solid wood when they initially surrounded your truck and started trying to pry you out.
>After you frantically mag-dumped your KS-12 into one, you found out that no, it's some kind of symbiotic relationship that gives the frogs a coat of living, camouflaged armor. Slugs went through it well enough.
>Your next mag of slugs was placed more sparingly, and your AK-47 finished the job.
>You're out of canned goods already, and while you cooked some cuts off the frogs, you're leery about eating them.
>Sniffing around outside reveals that the nearest city is at least a day's hike away. You're not sure if the sapient horses are friendly. You didn't see anything suggesting that you've stumbled into a particularly bizarre take on Gulliver's Travels, but the wee horsies' murals show them pulling off impressive feats of arcane might.
>You'll beg them for help if starving's your only alternative, but until you can figure out if they're xenophobes or slavers, you don't want to just waltz up to them.
>You've been cautiously scouting around outside the museum at dawn and dusk.
>This morning, you discovered that apparently you weren't cautious enough.
>Sitting outside the museum's back door is a very obvious net trap, baited with a Philly cheesesteak sandwich and a pair of dumbbells.
>You feel vaguely insulted, but you slam the door and shove a table in front of it.
>The museum's front door is chained and barred, so you don't really need to worry about it.
>You think you'll slip out through the basement entrance and see if the horse that set the trap is still present.

>Be Sweetie Drops.
>Dammit, that should have worked!
>The woodwose balked at a trap that was supposed to be an infallible means of catching its kind.
>Then again, there was only one known specimen before now...
>You think you'll sneak in through the basement and try to catch it by surprise.
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if gilda is truly 10' anon is still 7 and a half feet tall here unless he's on stilts
Giganon and gigger Gilda
I am so confused
>Women who actually enjoy swallowing
Absolute perfection
(Meanwhile, studies have linked cunnilingus to "a significant increase" in risk of throat cancer.)
Kek. Go on.
Is this a word I'm supposed to know or something?
Obviously they mean Anon.
But fuck if I've ever encountered the word "woodwose" before.
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>>Oh, and the museum is home to a pack of giant wood-covered Goliath frogs the size of mastiffs.
If they were carved stone frogs, I would think that's a reference to "The Snek Report".
>cunnilingus to "a significant increase" in risk of throat cancer
Only if you contract HPV. So don't go down on girls you don't know.

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she's a big girl

Basically Europe's version of the Sasquatch.

I threw in a link to the definition last thread.
>Be Diamond Tiara
>It was late
>You were naked, sore, covered in sweat and cum
>You were in Anon's bed with the man himself and Silver Spoon, who was in a similar state as you
>On your back, you were staring up at the ceiling
>Anon was cuddled up next to you, as he usually was after a fuckfest
>Nose pressed against your shoulder, arm slung over you
>You could hear his quiet breathing, as well as Silver's
>You couldn't fall asleep
>Frustration and longing sat in your gut like a stone
>Anon was only an hour away
>You visited him every weekend without fail
>He was happy with what he did, happy to see you both every time as well
>And it wasn't enough
>He could be more happy, you could see him more
>You SHOULD see him more
>His shop should be bigger; he shouldn't be staying upstairs like this
>He deserved so much better
>You wanted so much for him, for the three of you
>You weren't good enough
>You hadn't been ever since he held your hand when you all were walking back from school in Second Grade
>All your life you had been trying to make yourself good enough for this perfect, wonderful creature right next to you
>You weren't
>Anything but
>But, somehow, he still loved you
>He always has; since you were little
>That you never doubted
>And you loved him too
>So much that you'd give up anything for him
>Your businesses? Your respect? Your millions?
>You'd throw it all away if he asked, and it still wasn't enough
>Not until you put a ring on his ringer
>If it were you, you'd give him the best one money could buy, but he's insist on a simple metal or rubber band
>Probably say something about not wanting to lose it
>You rolled onto your side
>Wrapping your arms around him, you pulled him close, pressing his face between your tits
>You wanted him here, like this, everyday
>You wanted to see his face when you went to sleep and went you woke up
>Silver and you had talked about moving your operation to Ponyville
>There had also been talks about buying a helicopter to get down here in half the time
>A few charitable donations to Mayor Mare and you probably could land it right in the market for all anyone cared
>Or, you could put a landing pad on top of this building...
>Anon stirred
>Lifting his head up, he looked at you, eyes half-lidded and hair messy
>The sight made you heart skip a beat
>"What time is it?" he asked, voice slurred with sleep
>You looked at the clock sitting on the nightstand
"Three a.m."
>He grunted
>Wrapping his arms around you, he pulled you downward, resting his chin on top of your head
>"Too early. Sleep."
>You just nodded as he pressed himself against you
>Minutes passed, long enough that you figured he fell back to sleep, when he suddenly leaned back to look at you
>"When you get that billion, you're moving back down here," he said, looking you in the eye. "I wanna see my wives more than a few days a week."
>Your heart leapt into your throat at that word
>"I want kids too. A lot of 'em," he continued. "Your dad wants kids to spoil, so I'm gonna be fucking you and Silver over there until we get them. Got it?"
>You could only nod as he kissed you
>"Hurry up too. I'm getting sick of waiting. If you don't quit mess around I'm buying the rings myself and asking you both while you're in the middle of a meeting. See how you like THAT."
>You would like that
>More than anything actually
>But not yet
>One billion dollars was just around the corner
>After that you could get to what was really important
>Anon once again rested his chin on top of your head
>You kissed his throat, smiling as all negative thoughts leg while in his arms
>Goddess, you loved this man
"Yes, honey."
>If you don't quit mess around I'm buying the rings myself and asking you both while you're in the middle of a meeting
i want to see that as well. probably make a lot of pearl clutchers in business reeee, but it'd be 1,000,000,000% worth it
Love this.
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Next stop: fish.
I think you mean: "Don't go down on girls who've ever had sex with someone other than you".

Fun fact: It can also be contracted and contained by the body's immune system only to suddenly re-emerge years or decades later. And like COVID, asymptomatic cases where she doesn't even know she's got it are not terribly uncommon.
Top notch. I do hope there's more. I do like the idea of Anon popping the question. Maybe they propose at the same time?
There any Aria RGREs? If not, /r/ing one.
Here's an idea
>Aria notices Gilda and Anon at the gym
>Wants Anon
>Challenges Gilda for the right to have him
>The lewdest creatures
>They have the most intense heats
>They also prefer monogamy
>And hands
>And hairless bodies
>And being able to sit on a stallion's face without the poince being called
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>prefer monogamy
No thanks.
That mare eat all my cookies, they were my last with chocolate chips... I hate this mare
I like your cut g
Lyra, I swear to god...
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strictly inferior to alicorn booty
how can mortal mares even compete?
protip: they can't
But anon, I'm mortal
and in a year, who knows? The horse may learn to sing.
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Hello again!

>Amira lies on her belly, you are snuggled to her side. A thin wool blanket over both of you.
>As always, after the good fuck she’s very cuddly.
>”That color of the sky, I love it the most.” She says. Her head raised, ears forward.
>You look to the west, at the scarlet line where the sun set a moments ago.
>A lone strip of clouds stretches across the sky. Caught in the light, it turns into a long fiery strand, vanishing beyond the horizon.
>”Like a vestige of Goddess’ mane, isn’t it?”
“Indeed, my lady.”
>You both are at the long narrow terasse on the side of the Sandstone Palace. Your movements during sex brought you there.
>Marveled at the sunset long enough, Amira makes a motion to stand.
>”Let’s go inside. Night’s are chilly here and you don’t have any fur.”
>You get up, wrapping yourself in the blanket. You feel the truth of her words as the night breeze gets to you.
>Amira raises up as well and walks back to the room
>”Take the wine, Anon.”
>She says over her back.
>You grab the heavy jug and the bowl from the table that stands nearby and follow her through the short curved corridor.
>Here, in the Sandstone Palace, Amira’s chamber is somehow more imposing than the one back in the capital albeit being decorated with less opulence.
>It’s a large, spacious room with thin and high ogive windows and a tessellated floor.
>Walls are adorned with art.
>It features paintings of plants, ponies harvesting or planting them, armored soldiers marching somewhere, and the largest one — a group of unicorns and the earth kind ones standing in a circle around the rock with a single rearing unicorn, the sun shining above them.
>Funnily enough, the sun with it’s rays looks like an Imperial Japanese banner back on Earth.
>You put the jug and the bowl onto yet another squatty table, surrounded by pillows. Amira lies besides it and indicates you to sit.
>”That’s rather early still.” She comments, then takes the jug by the handle with her mouth and pouring some date wine into the bowl.
>”Here, would you like a drink?”
>You look at the bowl cautiously. As far as you know, stallions aren’t not supposed to drink wine.
>Amira laughs.
>”Come on, dear, I offer it myself.”
>You bow and take the large bowl with both hands.
>The viscous dark liquid is sweet and spicey.
>You return the bowl back to the table and lick your lips.
>”Is it good?”
“Yes, very good, lady Amira.”
>”Have you ever drunk something like this?”
>Oh, here we go again!
>But you also remember what Ahmed has said about data mining and you. Better make some small concessions.
”Not quite, my lady.”
>”Have you drunk alcohol at all?”
“Yes, I’m familiar with alcohol.”
>”What kind of drink it was?”
“Mainly beer”
>”Bheeer?” She neighs out, having a difficulty to say it exactly like you.
>As you don’t know their name for it you used human-
>Erm… -English word.
“It’s a drink from fermented barley. And hops.”
>Her ears stand at attention for a second, then return to the side. She snorts.
>”Well, I guess when one’s kind cannot digest grain one forced to do something weird with it.”
>You bow.
>”Did you have any wines?”
>You have a feeling she means your kind as a collective.
“Yes, grape ones. And from some other fruits as well.”
>”Such as?”
“Well…” you stroke your chin, “Plums, blueberries, raspberries…”
>She nods and shifts her ears into a thoughtful position.
>”Did they grow at your home or did it imported?”
“It’s a bit of both.”
>”I see… Want another sip?”
>Does she want to make you drunk?
“I thought males shouldn’t drink, my lady?”
>”True. They’re impulsive, emotion driven, lack natural self-control. And alcohol can dazzle, can make one susceptible to Shaitan’s tricks… But I’m right here, with you. That’s what mare is for, to nurture, protect, guide and preserve. I’m sure my hooves and my faith are enough to keep evil’s talons away.”
>You have no other choice but to bow and take another chug. The shit’s tasty, to be honest!
>Still, you want to shift the dialogue somewhere else.
>So, you look at the largest painting in the room and point on it.
“My lady, I would like to ask… What’s going on here, on the fresco? It looks like important scene.”
>She rotates her right eye a bit, to look at the wall.
>”That’s an important scene, indeed. It’s the Founding.”
“The Founding?”
>“Yes, of our current country.”
“You said your clan was one of the founding herds, didn’t you, my lady?”
>She smiles.
>”There, you see? The one in the hooded caparison? That’s our ancestress, Almaerifa the Wise.”
>You look at the scene and nod.
“Please, lady Amira, tell me more! For example, who’s that unicorn and why she’s on the rock?”
>You really curious about this all, although you are a little bit embarrassed with your own hypocrisy
>Amira’s ears make a full circle. She stands and walks towards the wall. You raise to your feet and follow.
>”That’s Amira Jalala, peace be upon her. The Great Unifier. The Prophet. ”
“Amira?” You ask, puzzled “Like you, my lady?”
>Amira, the one here, besides the painting, lets out an amused whinny.
>”It became a female name after a while, but back then it was what unicorns called a lead mare in their tribes. So her name is Jalala. Amira is her title.”
“I thought you said you don’t use titles, my lady?”
>”Back then it was… very different. All different. The hierarchy, the conventions, the names.”
>She paused, most likely collecting her thoughts.
>“But, let’s talk about everything in order.
>”So, equines of the region were estranged. Often conflicting with each other.
>”The Earth kind roamed the less sandy lands, where they could have easier access to the continental plate to grow walls and raise shallow deposits of ores. And of course fertile soil to grow enough food. Donkeys, caprinekind and bovines preferred to live there as well. Being less civilized and gifted with the Light in general quickly made them subservient to the Earth kinders.
>”The unicorn tribes migrated from oasis to oasis. They lived in the desert, because their powers let them survive the heat and conserve the water. Also, that way they encountered fewer griffins and Roc birds.”
‘What’s a Rock Bird?’ you wonder. Something about bikers and heavy metal comes to mind.
>”The Earth clans were oftentimes fighting each other, competing for fields and rock. Sometimes the weaker clan got absorbed into the stronger one, sometimes displaced, closer to the desert. There they have to deal with the unicorn nomads. Back then they thought themselves to be the better kind among equines.”
>Amira shifts to stand straight, raising her head high and lifting her muzzle up.
>”While mudponies hoard land — we are galloping free, after the Goddess’ hoofsteps in the sky!” She proclaims in an extremely pompous manner, clearly impersonating.
>You smirk knowingly, being unable to contain it. Amira’s ears turn to you, but she doesn’t say anything on the matter.
>”But of course,” she continues “oasis greenery can sustain one only so much. So they raided Earth clans for food. And after a while, when they acquired the taste of it — for goods as well.
“For weapons and armor?” you take half-educated guess.
>”Among other things. They didn’t need weapons much, as, truth be told, unicorns are very dangerous in combat as they are.
‘Yeah, that I can imagine…’ you think, remembering Ajmal’s pyromancy.
>”But their nobility appreciated armor, cloth and some nice everyday things like pottery or glassware.”
>You nod. It’s all makes sense.
>”The strong Earth clans,” Amira continues, “having secured the ownership of heartland, in turn, dreaded to approach the mountains. Because there be griffins.”
>So far, her tone was mostly lighthearted. Now, it changes drastically.
>”Their damned kind nested in mountains since forever. It’s a Goddess’ blessing Roc birds were just a dumb savages. But griffins weren’t. And one time they consolidated themselves enough to pose an existential threat to us.”
>You see her teeth clench and facial muscles tense. She pins her ears.
>”Their growing kingdoms exterminated almost all savages they could prey upon in the mountains and around. Even the carnivorous ones! Can you imagine the level of barbarity!”
>You think you understand what she’s talking about, imagining the perspective of the herbivorous species on the matter.
>”So, they turned on us and the others to sustain their scourge. Those Shaitan’s spawn used us as food! There were raids at first, then full scale wars. We were losing, step by step. Even the unicorns weren’t safe in their desert anymore.
>”The griffins conquered a good portion of fertile grounds and made locals their tributaries. And that tribute they took in blood. Conquered tribes must had sent regular groups of poor unfortunate souls to the kingdoms to perish under the butcher’s knife!” She says with extreme anger.
>You think never before you have seen lively and elegant Amira being so loathsome.
>”And that’s not all! Some kingdoms made a slave settlements where they had their captives live in misery and illiteracy, bred them and devoured their offspring!”
>Hearing this makes you very uncomfortable. Because you suddenly remember a supermarket and the fridges full of packed meat. And liver. And guts, and other organs on display.
>And a delicious, juicy hamburger in your hand.
>Being a city dweller you’ve never really gave a thought where that all comes from before appearing on the shelves. But having heard what you’ve heard puts it all in a completely different light.
>For some reason you vividly imagine those you got to know here: a small unicorn filly, full of smile, who sold you orange juice at the market; modest and intelligent Haakim; a complaisant and sweet jenny, jewelered goats, your harem buddies… Their severed heads on a hook and some indifferent looking man in a neat bluish apron with a wide knife in his hand standing near.
>You shudder form a strong wave of sudden revulsion.
>Amira, absorbed in her own emotions, doesn’t notice that.
>You take a hold of yourself and make a mental note to never ever mention that humans can and like to eat meat.
>Amira takes a few sharp breaths through her nose, making her nostrils flare. Unpins her ears.
>”Alright,” she sighs, “onto the Founding.”
>”The war with griffins thinned our ranks significantly. Some tribes began to try to appease the griffins not waiting for their conquest attempts. Other tribes even began to trade with them, voluntarily exchanging their own for protection and for goods.
>”And as much as I hate to admit it, some, the most despicable ones, begin to work for griffins, hunting their fellow equines, other people and savages to sell for profit and benefits.”
>You look at Amira and see extreme regret and shame in her facial expression. She looks so crestfallen that you cannot help yourself but step near her and hug her by the neck. At the sudden thought you stick your face into her withers and begin to nip her coat with your teeth.
>She snorts and nuzzles your back.
>”It’s alright, Anon. We should remember our fall, should remember where Shaitan’s ways took us.”
>She disengages from you.
>”I hope you now fully understand, why greed is deadly.”
>You bow, this time with complete sincerity.
>”So, at that time there was one unicorn tribe and their ruler was the wisest and the most blessed by the Light of all mares before her. Jalala. Her rule was strict and just, her judgement always true.
>“Seeing what’s going on, and how griffin scourge clouds the heartland she made everything she could to not only preserve her herd, but to save the other equines around as well.
>“She begin to pick up the lonely bands wandering through the desert, that got separated from defeated tribes. She was the first of all unicorns to incorporate Earth kinders into her herd.”
>”One time she had a revelation from the Goddess…
>Amira paused and looked from the painting straight at you.
>”Now, so you understand, the Goddess doesn’t talk. She is so immense that she can show us her will only using the whole world around as her message. That was outstanding! Because of that, Jalala didn’t want to tell anypony.
>”Stealthily, by the night she went to the place the Goddess showed her. It was a mighty, rock, somehow standing amidst the desert. Jalala twirled her horn and the rock parted, opening wide. She entered it and the rock closed itself again.
>”Her tribe camping in distance suddenly saw a huge pillar of light shining down from heavens above. Then there was thunderous roar and savage blast of wind rolled over the desert.
>”Seeing that Jalala isn’t with them filled the tribe with great fear. Her favorite, and only, husband, raving with grief, pleaded with their daughters to investigate what’s going on.
>”The daughters, valliant and courageous warriors, rushed to where the light struck. When they approached the rock, it stood in the middle of the field of glass. It’s surface was molten. And covered with burned out lines in ancient unicorn script.”
>Amira looks at you with a solemn and sacramental look on her face:
>”It was the words of the Divine Law as we know it. And Jalala stood by the rock, unharmed.”
To be continued…

Story so far:
Ok, I'm very sorry Anons. That was a cart and a shovel full of exposition as it was.
So I decided to load the other half of the Founding down your throats the next time.
Please, say something!
While we are at it I also want to ask a question: are there actual muslim Anons here, reading this green? I wonder, what do they think about what I've done. Do they enjoy the read? Cringe? Or even want to assemble a bomb after each new chapter?
Oh, and another thing, somewhat important.
According to googletrans
Jalala means Majesty in Arabic
Amira means Princess
I personally don't mind this much exposition. It's interesting to learn about the history of the region, and you did a good job of exploring the menace of carnivores and herbivores with sapience living in close proximity.
I'm a slut for this kind of world-building, especially since you're clearly putting some effort into it. I'm wondering where Anon goes, after this, and just how pliable that alcohol has made him... Given Amira's hatred of carnivores, he has extra reason to be cagey. GREAT job, AladdinAnon!
Don't apologize! You're a good writefag, and I'm not about to complain about lore. There's been a heavy lore focus in the last couple of updates, so I'm looking forward to seeing where things go once you've finished establishing the world further. I suspect some drama about Anon needing or desiring meat, but you have a number of plot threads you can play with, and I expect you'll do well with any of them. But given the current chapter, I'm thinking Amira teases some juicy info out of Anon, somehow, or potentially learns something that might make Anon's life more difficult.

Thanks for the update!
This is the best part of your post
Why is adult Tiara always written as competent?
The real Tiara is a barely functioning retard, the moneys of the Rich family are bound to end with her, as she would only waste it and fail to generate it.
Why is anon always written as competent?
The real anon is an autistic cunt, the rees he generates whenever someone is having fun the wrong way are part of who he is, as he is bitterly disappointed with life.
Anon is not always written as competent, although I mostly agree, best Anon is Anon who screws up every now and then.
Maybe because of anon's babysitting that showed her how actual love feels?
IIRC that is their inital relationship in most adult tiara stories.
>writefags posts awesome green
>proceeds to get a couple (you)s
>thread immediately returns to shitposting and REEEEs
Our writefags deserve better.
LaP is accustomed to retards flinging shit for no reason. He'll be fine. What's more amusing is the faggot crying because he can't wank his doomer boner to bitch DT.
If FiM is "doomer boner" then I don't know what to tell you. Do you hate ponies?
Which episode of FiM covers adult, human DT?
The same one that covers who the fuck asked
The green being discussed is about an adult, human DT. >>36171411 references FiM. So it's a on point question.
People don't want to write shit they don't wanna write, there's your answer nigga
Hey! Good to see another update, writefriend! Can't wait to see where things go next, I really like the background information you're giving us. How much of it is based on Islam, and how much is original?
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Is this another "why do people write things I don't like" episode?
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Anon was the one bitching about the green, not me. I really don't get what you're trying to say, you're likely just trying to stir shit, and so I'm just going to end this here. Thank you for your reply, anon! I hope you have a great day.
Oh ok I see. Sorry, I make it a point to only put in the bare minimum effort to follow comment chains that start stupidly.
>why do people write things I don't like
Why are you in a thread where people write things you don't like? You could be in a different thread or community where people do write things you like.
Thank you for repeating the point of his post, that's a real insightful addition you've got there.
Make use of that insight and find a different thread. The writers write what they will.
Yes exactly, thank you for once again repeating the statement. We needed the clarification
Because this thread is more popular and it produces more green, so it should produce what I like.
Don't talk to it, numbnuts.
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But you have two hands a keyboard! Produce what you like yourself! Others might even like it.
Now she's getting him drunk to make him spill something.
I wonder on whose terms will the secrets be shared.
Disappointed that no ones ever written a sharia Equestria joke green. I feel like that would be a good laugh. Would an ImamAnon accept that here he is the slut if he doesn't wear a burka? Or would he try to turn the ponies to the TRUE way of Allah?
Considering you're literally building the region from scratch (and it's the focal point of the story) I'd probably be much worse without all the exposition. Plus you also integrate it well into the overall story. I'm glad you've stuck around these past like 10ish months.

Did one towards the end of last month featuring Aria, Limestone Pie, and anthro-stallion Anon. (Portal accident.)
>end of last month
Wait really? I don't remember that at all
He writes shitposts and is therefor forgettable.
Still I'm surprised I missed a whole ass shitpost. Sounds like it was worth a lol too.
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Yes. Yes, it is.

Squeal, piggy, squeal.
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Pls don't
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So now Anon is in an EVEN MORE dire position.

I wonder how you plan to top this level of looming peril.
I rate it, "made me blow air out of my nose"/lol
Because it's reversed gender roles, so it stands to reason that she's significantly smarter and more capable than if it wasn't.
Isn't that what AlladinAnon is doing, minus the joking part?
No it's not like that in the show so it's wrong
Kinda, I'm talking about having an Anon who's actually like an Islamic religious leader in this case
>Why do people write stories about a character overcoming their flaws and improving using a source material that is based around characters overcoming their flaws and improving?
You ask too much. It takes one autist to spoil the bunch, and the efforts of many mean nothing in the face of the screeching of someone who, ideally, should have died alone in the woods years ago.
I bet he'll ask why Engie ruined his story next by not making Anon immortal.
I get that, those are fine reasons, but I have not once read a green where Diamond Tiara grows up to be what you would expect based on what she was in FiM. I guess what bothers is that there is a certain narrow range of personality for a comfy desirable waifu (inspired largely by anime stereotypes), and when a green uses a character as a waifu, she will become the average of her original personality and the default desirable waifu personality. Perhaps that is a general problem with redemption, it almost necessarily drags a character towards the average.

>write it urseulf faggot
Maybe I will one day. Have my drunk rant for now.

I don't hate ponies and I don't hate you guys and I don't hate that green.
I'd read something about Diamond Tiara being as rotten as an adult as she was as a kid, and her business suffering as a result of her being unable to delegate tasks to competent assistants, or see her own flaws and learn from her past mistakes. Anon could be working for a temp agency who's subbing in for a dad (her assistant or some shit) who's on paternal leave to look after his newborn baby, and he and Tiara butt heads frequently. Anon is frustrated that he goes to work every day to make the same apology phone calls to the same people because Diamond refuses to admit that what she's doing is wrong, and he often gets into arguments with Tiara. Tiara doesn't have much sway these days, and nothing happens when she demands a new temp. But Anon won't let this fucker stain his file with customer complaints that are angry at him because of Diamond's fuck-ups. So, he goes over Tiara's head. Makes phone calls when he knows they should be made, not when he's told to do. Makes appointments, talks on Diamond's behalf. Gets shit done. Customers like how they're getting good service (whatever it is her one shitty business is doing; poorly, before Anon came along), money is starting to come in, and Diamond is smug as fuck. Until she finds out just how far Anon was going over her head

One day Anon, who is frustrating Tiara just as much as she frustrates him, is confronted by Tiara. She's pissed that he's "doing things wrong" and Anon just goes off on a tirade. Explains what he's been doing and why it works, and storms out, leaving before his contract is up. Diamond's business suffers again and, on a whim, she tries a couple things Anon did. They work.

tl;dr (b/c post limit) d/t gets anon back, apologizes, they team up, and Anon helps hone her bitchy personality into something that can be pointed at something. Together (with Tiara mostly retaining her original personality) they make the business soar to new heights. The End.

Something something RGRE.
That wouldn't work, though. Everyone knows colts can't be imams
Exactly why itd be funny if one got sent to rgre-Saudi arabia
...This sounds haram.
Indeed it would be, hence why he'd start a radical horse-lamic sect to set things right
something something kablootimam
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>Anon realizes why his cottage never got any pamphlets around election season
Good update Aladdin, the lore was great, especially the way you presented it. Please do continue with it.
Though this makes me curious, what does Anon eat to fill his protein needs? Fish?
If there's a political hill I'd die on, it's that expanding the franchise so radically is the chief cause of the degradation of modern democracies. I can 100% think of a bunch of legitimate reasons for mares to oppose giving stallions the vote in a RGRE. Chief among them would be unity of the family and the keeping politics and the political process free of stallions and their bs
Bring back only people who own land can vote. Rootless urbanites don't deserve to vote.
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>*buys/steals all the land over two-three generations*
sorry goy but I guess only we can vote now
Based Griffons sidelining Ponige untermenschen.
The ideal method of assigning votes would be to give one vote to each family (this was effected in the past with male suffrage), landowner, and veteran. Republics are at their weakest when their electorate does have a concrete share in the state's future. Any other method of voting leads either to dictatorship, mob tyranny, or oligarchy.
>parasitic banking/media class
>owning any more land than is absolutely necessary
Granted, there's a degree of self-interest here as I'm a veteran but I'm fully on board with a Starship Troopers, book not the movie, system where citizenship, and thus the franchise and a host of other benefits, are tied exclusively to service. The movie is trash; it's enjoyable trash, but trash all the same. Read the book if you haven't. It's far more reasonable than people make it out to be.
My Man!
>>owning any more land than is absolutely necessary
when the end goal is the enslavement of an entire population, every last square inch of land is necessary
Wouldn't a more accurate ending be that DT just learns that stealing other peoples ideas works great, especially when you can just get rid of them since they're temp. And so she just hires temps, learns their ideas and implements them before kicking them out as her business flourishes.
Yeah, but life sucks and I wanted to feel happy today.
Goose and the golden egg, dude. If someone actually has good ideas, you keep them around so you'll keep getting more of them.
Of course, anyone with good ideas and the knowhow to implement them wouldn't have a shitty temp job in the first place.
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ST's system remains the second best behind one that has Celestia ruling.
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>You weren't into the idea of ponies at first
>Not even a little
>You looked at one and kinda thought they were like dogs, if you were being honest
>Cute, and you'd sure as shit pet one, but no fucking
>You had kinda resolved to just be jerking off the rest of your life
>Which, honestly, if what you had been pretty much doing, so no big changes there
>But these little horses are crafty
>One day, you were just minding your own business, when Mayor Mare is at your door
>She had some sweets
>Said that she got them for the office that morning, and nopony ate them and wondered if you'd like some
>Of course, you had her come in
>You both sat down, had some glasses of milk, and just chatted
>The mayor was a real nice mare
>Real interested in you
>Like genuine interest
>Asking questions and stuff
>If you were being honest, you enjoyed yourself
>An hour passed, and all the sweets were gone
>You were asked out to dinner
>As friends of course
>Just to continue your little chat
>It was at the local pizza place that served hot cider
>You went to that and three other dates
>You went from thinking these horses were like dogs, to having your face buried between one's cheeks
>It wasn't fair
>The Mayor was so soft and warm
>She tasted like cinnamon too
>When she came all over your face you nearly nutted all over the floor
>If was even worse when you were inside of her
>Earth ponies were fucking strong
>You had seen them move trains, break boulders; shit that should have been impossible
>They were strong all over, even their marehoods
>You had used your hand, used toys, but the mayor milked you like a fucking cow
>You SQUEALED when you finally came
>And she didn't stop either
>Along with being strong, earth ponies had stamina
>Just as much as you, if not better
>And the mayor seemed pretty pent up
>When morning eventually came, you were bowlegged, reeking of sex, and had a new marefriend
>Your stallion friends were thrilled
>And you thought that that would be it
>You'd ride off into the sunset
>A horsefucker
>But no, Mayor Mare had other plans
>There was another little horse
>A unicorn named Sweet Biscuit
>She had these pretty green eyes and this southern belle accent
>She loved your oatmeal cookies
>Whenever you made them she'd somehow know and just pop by to eat half of them and chat
>Apparently, her and Mayor were good friends
>Sweet was thrilled that her friend had "got herself a real fine stallion" as she put it
>The unicorn stared coming over more
>Mayor started to include her in pretty much everything you did
>You almost didn't realize that she was staying over more at your place than at hers
>Sweet liked to just lie against you on the couch, holding your hand between her hooves
>At first, she just wanted you to rub her belly
>But then she slowly began to move your hand lower and lower
>And then Mayor did the same thing
>Until, before you knew, it there was another mare in your bed
>Sweet didn't have the muscle or stamina like Mayor, but boy could she do some things with her magic
>She was a filthy thing in the bedroom too
>The things she'd whisper to you with that accent of yours always had your blood pumping
>She tasted like sugar cookies, and she really, really liked the taste of your cum
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>After that there were two horses permanently
>Again, foolishly, you thought that'd be the end of it
>Horsefucker 2.0 off into the sunset
>But then another horse showed up
>Your mailmare
>Her name was First Class
>You'd sometimes chat with her while she was on route
>If it was hot you'd make sure to give her a bottle of water
>Once, you had invited her in for some coco during a cold day in winter, and after all of your packages always came in pristine condition
>Quick too
>First Class was a friend of Sweet Biscuit
>Unlike Sweet and Mayor, the pegasus didn't pussyfoot around
>She was interested in you
>Said some pretty lewd things, if you were being honest
>She called you a baker, since you'd be doing a lot of breeding
>Mayor booed her at that
>You did too
>Sweet just looked embarrassed
>Still, the mare was insistent, and the other girls were open to it
>Why not?
>Horsefucker 3.0, no breaks on this train
>First took a lot longer into bed than you were expecting
>What with all of her peacocking and boasting
>Pegasi were a lot more traditional, you had been told
>There were steps and ways of doing things for them
>First was extremely frustrated that she couldn't talk to your parents
>Something about asking your mother for permission, which you thought was sweet
>When Sweet and Mayor finally got her into the bedroom, you had a lovely surprise
>Her teats were massive
>Like bigger than handfuls
>Again, a common trait amongst pegasi
>Sweet said most had to wear bras to fly properly
>She tasted a lot differently that the other two
>Sharper, tangier
>It was like a shock on the top of your tongue
>She was the slimmest of the three, as well as the smallest
>A lot of prep work was involved to get all of your cock inside of her, but when you did she was rearing to go all night
>Now the girls were talking about getting a bigger house, about foals and other things
>And honestly?
>You couldn't be happier
Is this a new image? I need more gilda humanized.
It is new, yes, and you are also correct.
We do need more human Gilda.
Short and sweet, love the idea that Mayor plowed him into the mattress.
Where is the booru for his work?
>horsefucker making moves on Scrib's waifu
Very sweet, Anon. You picked some frequently ignored waifus, and now I want to see the sort of sickeningly sweet things they all get up to.
>>Earth ponies were fucking strong
i'm imagining something like https://e621.net/posts/2126598, only less furfag and more p0ny
>tfw no broken pelvis
I like how everybody ignored the easter egg I have had the most fun with. lmao
Thanks Anons!
It's hard to say. Many things are definitely based on the actual region, but altered to suit equine needs.
His ration includes eggs, dairy products such as milk, cheese and butter, legumes. He's good for a long while.
Fuck! Forgot my name.
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don't feel too bad, alladinanon. speaking from experience, easter eggs sometimes take a little push to get people actually looking for them
pic related
Who is this artist?
Prince Ali - forgetful is he - AladdinAnon, yeah.
Greentext wrote, name field said nope,
Who can this be?
His ponies all say saalam,
But none wear vests made of bombs,
Then again we're not at that point of their history
>Scribbles strikes again!
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someone last thread wanted an edit so i gave it a shot
>Shining hired Anon as a live-in nanny after he witnessed Anon scramble up a bookcase to grab Flurry Heart after she teleported herself up at the top of it
>His job is now to make sure Cadence figures out how to mother properly when Shining Armour is off doing horse things elsewhere
>Cadence, despite being the professional on Love(tm), is maybe not the best parent
>At least not right away
>She doesn't reach bumbling dad from a sitcom territories of incompetence, but she's close
>She's real damn close
>She once woke Anon up in the middle of the night to ask if foals ate pizza
>When Anon said 'no', she replied with 'why not, pizza is amazing'
>This was followed by an awkward (if contemplative) pause, and then she asked him if foals need 'real beds'
>She meant this as opposed to an admittedly comfy pile of soft blankets and pillows
>Anon has his work cut out for him
>He's earned the title of 'honourary uncle', damn it
I am beyond comfy reading this Anon. Thank you.
>>Shining hired Anon as a live-in nanny after he witnessed Anon scramble up a bookcase to grab Flurry Heart after she teleported herself up at the top of it
i believe it. foal in high place triggers full MONKEH instincts, leading to anon climbing to increasingly improbable locations to ensure their safety
I'm seeing just a montage of Anon climbing things to grab Flurry Heart while Shiny has a heart attack at the base of whatever it is the foal is stuck on.

>"Here's your baby. Tell her to stop."

Cadence is concerned, of course, but she's secretly proud that Flurry Heart is able to BAMF herself this young.
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>Be househusband Anon to your cuddly horse wife Spitfire
>Right now you are in Cloudsdale for a shopping date with Spitfire… well it was supposed to be a shopping date anyways. Not you were playing the mom to a spoiled kid.
>You knew going to the home depot section was a mistake.
>You glare back with your arms crossed, you have a glare matchdown with Spitfire.
>“C’mon Anonymous, this is a reasonable request.”
“Spitfire, we have a perfectly functioning lawn mower. Why do you need to buy another one?”
>“That bitch-”
“Language. Foals are here.”
>Spitfire adjusts her sunglasses on her ears, grumbling some words you chose to ignore.
>“Fleetfoot got the newest Terrific Trimmer 2000 and bragged to my squad. What kind of Captain would I be if I’m outclassed?”
“Outclassed in lawn mowers? Spitfire I’m not going to let you spend your bits on something so stupid!”
>“It’s not stupid! I need to show them I'm the top mare.”
>Honestly… you weren’t sure how to deal with this kind of mentality. You weren’t going to budge however. You narrow your gaze harder.
“I’m not going to permit it.”
>“I’m the breadwinner here I can spend my bits however I want you can’t stop me!”
>You raise your eyebrow, after a few seconds of silence you notice Spitfire having a bit of a regretful moment judging by her ear going flat.
“Spitfire, honey cakes. We live in a cloud house. I already indulged you in buying a Mare Mobile 2500. All you do is polish that lawn mower and never use it. Then I allowed you to buy some modifications for your carriage when you can fly and I use the bridge to do shopping.”
>“Can’t a mare have her hobbies?”
“That’s not the issue and you know it."
>“But Anon…”
>Oh god not the begging eyes, anything but that. Time for plan B.
“Sweetie, you’re already a great mare. You don’t have to prove anything to anyponies.”
>You squat down to meet her eye to eye, leaning close to her ears nice and close for maximum effect.
“Instead of reminding them, how about you remind me instead? I’ll dressed in that uniform you like so much”
>The yellow coat slowly but steadily became red. The “fire” in Spitifire was starting to look real
>“F-fine… you win Anon.”
>You plant a quick peck on her cheeks
“Now there’s my reasonable and wise mare. How about I make your favorite for dinner?”
>She nods, and follows you for the rest of the shopping
>Tonight was going to be spicy
~Few Days Later~
>Again, your dear waifu forgot to get her lunch on the count of some urgent business. So, you’re in the base to deliver again

>Cadence is concerned, of course, but she's secretly proud that Flurry Heart is able to BAMF herself this young.

>Cadance sleeps on the couch for a week because one time after Flurry got returned to her parents, Cadence let out a whoop and a "Did you see that!?" before she could think to tamper it down
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I like how careful she is pulling information out of Anon. The alcohol is setting up for a time when she can free his inhibitions at a later date to make his lips looser. Though now that Anon knows how she feels about griffons she might had inadvertently shut him up even more now.
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Thanks for the adorable green
Definitely Rgre enough
>Rgre enough
The dream
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The idea of some exasperated pony shouting "MONKEH!" in Shrek's accent at Anon's shenanigans is highly amusing to me.
it would probably be even funnier if it was Tavi that said it, which would invite a shouted 'DONKEY' in retaliation.
>Anon and Tavi...wanna know something about these two?
>They're ASSHOLES.
>Human AND Equestrian insult, apparently but it manages to count for either side somehow.
>Now, both kinda have to keep it in check because one is technically a diplomat to his species (even if he's the only one there) and the other is a well known "fancy" cellist (even if she wants to deck some people sometimes).
>So, when Tavi catches Anon doing his climbing shit, she could NOT help going, "Holy shit, look at that! A Monkey!"
>Which in turn made Anon scowl back to her and say what will forever cement their weird little Back and Forth "Asshole" relationship.
>>Again, a common trait amongst pegasi
>She places her wind chilled teats against your neck every time she comes in to 'warm them up'
>It doesn't matter what she went out to do, she'll have managed to practically freeze herself before coming back
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>Chilled teat pillow all the time.
How do pegasi just keep winning bros.
>Chrysalis has gotten better at impersonation, albeit not by much.
I can imagine this going into some weird kind of friendsip, where the two are continuously bantering with eachother. With the most offensive - and creative - things they can think of. To the horror of everypony around.
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>tfw wizard
>tfw unicorns are drawn to virgins in lore
>Anon is a virgin
>Unicorns feel comfortable and calm around Anon, and unconsciously seek him out/are drawn to him
>When Anon sits down, he's sure to find a unicorn or two wander over and lay down in his lap or lean against his side
>Unicorn foals come to him, instinctively feeling a sense of parental safety when he's near
>Anon remains a virgin due to two factors
>One, unicorns are protective of him and potential non-unicorn mates feel intimidated (often this is unintentional; the unicorns just don't want to see Anon get hurt)
>Two, this platonic fondness convinces many unicorns that Anon is innocent and pure as the driven snow, and so none of them want to "despoil" him
>Anon remains cockblocks, but also covered in cute ponies who want to spend time with him
>7/10, sex would be nice but he can't deny the merits of a cuddle-puddle
I keep forgetting this artist, who is he in the OP?
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>not considered at all on earth
>considered too pure on equestria
I just want to live in a mare dominated society where I'm stripped of the rights I took for granted as a white male American is that too much to ask
Artist is Nignogs.
Muscle gilda maks me horny
There's something about that bit of bush peeking out that does it for me.
a reminder of what to look forward too.
ur gay
if getting horny over buff chicks is gay, I don't ever wanna be straight.
>a unicorn eventually manages to court qnd ultimately bed him.
>because she meticulously performed all the traditional rites, Anons aura was not despoiled but instead enhanced.
>where before his presence was calming and invoked feelings of protectivness, like that of fabric you wish to avoid staining or tearing.
>now his presence also has an undertone of stability and confidence, like that of carefully carved marble.
>No longer as 'pure' but more refined than its previous state, and all the more impactful for it.
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Is it weird for a mother to check her son's balls to see if he's healthy?
Excellent update. Lore and world building is my fetish. You've been providing that in spades. Keep up the good work.
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Trips of truth
only if they're too smol or not productive enough
I mean, back a few hundred years ago the father had to demonstrate that his daughter was still a virgin. Or maybe I just read that somewhere, and it was from a fiction book. I dunno. Point is, old unicorn tradition probably means the mother must demonstrate her son is capable of creating young, thus making him valuable in terms of marriage.
In a world with magic, which can likely fix all kinds of bullshit, why wouldn't you inspect your kids to see if they're chad enough? If they're not, just take them down to the chad clinic and get them magically enhanced.
>I mean, back a few hundred years ago the father had to demonstrate that his daughter was still a virgin.
That was a thing for nobility, but pretty much only for nobility.
And which race has a mystical city built into the side of a mountain, in which the goddess-queen of their land lives? Not earth ponies, that's for sure. They're basically the nobles in the horse world.
>They're basically the nobles in the horse world
All 3 of the pony races have their own hierarchies and none had acheived hegemony prior to Unification. There are noble ponies and plebians of each race.
I'd bet my life if any tribe would be the freaks it'd be unicorns though
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>All the wailing and gnashing of teeth, when anon accident knocked up an earth pony on his first unsupervised visit to the market.
>Being so pent-up all it took was a simple "I'd fancy a roll in the hay with ya anon".
>And all the simps came crashing down.
Dapi can dance!
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Top comfy. Is love to read more please.
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based back to back trips
any green of Anon being marehandled?
Ironically, I think that mostly shows up with that super strong filly that lifts boulders.
>Roses are red
>Violets are blue
>Estrus is here
>Time for snu-snu
Deam that maud is ripped...
Come on heat week is in 5 months, how the hell she got that horny
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>how the hell she got that horny
never underestimate the power of >rape
I can just picture vinyl sitting off to the side watching them banter with a bucket of popcorn cackling at both their insults, and the utter shock of watching a mare and a stallion get into a war of words.
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>white girl with a fat ass
my kryptonite
>Anon is a Disney princess
>He never had penis inspections before
>White mares
Ahe doesn't want some grubby nurses touching up her wonderful son.
So she has to check for herself
Fucking fat fingered that.
Vinyl is very cute, i like the mute / soft spoken version the best though. Wacky woohoo party girl is too generic.
Thanks for the attempt, but I have to ask, what in God's name is that foal?
A reverse satyr? Human feet and pony front hooves? That's like the biggest fuck-you hybridization could have given.
Either make it Flurry, a proper pony foal, or a normal satyr.
Oof, it does hurt to write a green then be ignored.
This thread is a bit better about it than others, though.
I should probably stick to writing here in the future.
Based to all hell
Worry not my dude. Sometimes green may get buried under an autism flareup, but we appreciate it nevertheless. Some people are just too busy reeeeing to give a (you) I suppose.
Or I should just write what the majority wants from now on.
Guess Loli Slut Diamond Tiara doesn't have a bug audience.
But what, I ask? What is the thing people want? Cute sexist mares? How do I put a unique twist on that?
Lilly Longsocks, I think.
Maybe a grown up her where Anon picks fights and then she has to finish them.
"Oh yeah? You think you're tough? Well why don't you say that to my marefriend's face?!"
>Lilly sighs.
>"Anon, can you please not make me choke a bitch? You know I hate violence."
>"Huh! Your marefriend is such a wuss. No wonder you're so uppity, colt. She doesn't know how to get a handle on her stallion. Luckily, I know exactly what you need..."
"Ayee! My no-no square!"
>"Aaand now I have to choke a bitch. I swear, Anon, I can't take you anywhere."
Most greens have little to no plot, but the best regarded greens have plot. Perhaps that is obvious, but it's a good place to start.
>Or I should just write what the majority wants from now on.
Maybe, but you'll make people like me who enjoy what you write sad.
>when cream is on the table
The only valid reason I can imagine is that you are a le PoC with whiteness envy.
>"Hey boss." A muffled voice comes from outside the room.
You click your tongue knowing that the moment it ruined.
"Come on in, you know I like to talk face to face."
>The door opens slowly and reveals a crimson maned mare with a vibrant coat of orange.
"Its good to see you again Bootleg. What'd you need."
>This mare was almost always seen with a mug of cider in her hand and to see her without, well that was just downright strange.
>But she was loyal to a fault
>However you begin to notice that deep within her unfocused amber eyes a sharp sense of panic.
>She grimaces as you address her and you have a feeling the news will be worse then you expect.
>"The two mares that we've sent out have been jumped, got ambushed in the street."
>Thats not good, not at all.
>"Where are they? Are they alright?" Hefty asks her tone concerned.
>"They've gone missing now but somepony saw two Bugs take them away."
>Now it was your turn to be shocked, to be honest you had expected some type of retaliation, but kidnapping was almost unheard of around here.
"Say that again? Did you just say they were kidnapped?"
>"Yeah boss, ye heard me right."
>At this you're livid, first they have the teats- maybe you have been living in Equestria for too long, to kidnap one of your gang.
"Hefty, get some of the girls ready we're going out to pay these Bugs a visit."
>"Yes sir." she says as she slips out the door.
>You turn your attention back to Bootleg
"Bootleg you're coming with me. Where did they say she last was?"
>"Round Hoofington Square boss."
>You quickly down the rest of the alcohol and set out with Bootleg close behind.
>"Boss, we ain't just gonna waltz in there without any-"
"Then turn back now." you snap.
>Bootleg visibly recoils and her ears press down against her head.
>Despite the fact that you should feel bad, all you feel is more anger.
"FUCK. This is all going to shit." you say as you throw the glass across the room.
>You feel so incompetent, you've only managed to fail once Copper handed you the reigns of the operation.
>Now it seems your anger is venting itself.
>Setting off into the freezing streets lit only by the moon light you head towards the Square.
>In your haze of rage you don't notice the freezing feeling in your veins.
>Soon enough you make it to the square and there appears to be homeless pony sitting beside the moument.
>Bootleg seems to have followed you even after your outburst.
>She seems to notice you and looks over your way.
>"Hey there big man *hic*, how much for a night with you?" she slurs.
"Have you seen anything strange around here? Maybe some black bugs or something of the sort."
>As much as everything screams at you to shake this mare to get the information out of her you stop yourself before you do.
>She seems to ponder a moment staring off into space.
>"Nah haven't seen anything too interesting other then you. Maybe i'll 'member if you give me a bit or two."
>Just. Answer. The. Question.
>Bootleg looks over at you and she can tell that you aren't in the mood for this.
>"Look we haven't got the time for this. Here a few bits, tell us everything you know and quickly now."
>Her hazy eyes shine at the bits that Booty is holding out and she quickly snatches them.
>"I did happen to see two strange mares get zapped by some sort'a magic from one of those. Ah. What d'ya call 'em. Those 'eh black ponies?"
>Finally you were getting somewhere with this mare and you quickly press her for more info.
"Where'd you see them go? This is important."
>Her eyes seem to once again gloss over as she begins to think.
>"I think... I think it was that ol' abandoned store over there."
>You are already marching towards the store while Bootleg thanks the mare.
>"Boss, this ain't safe, I don't want you gettin' yourself hurt."
>A stern glare silences her quickly.
"Wait here then if you don't want to follow me. I've had enough shit in this city. I'm going to fucking kill these bastards."
>Booty hesitates for a moment and follows closely after you.
>You see two ponies waiting out under the neon sign.
>"Lookie here, told you tonight'd be special."
"Move out of the way or else."
>She looks bemused for a moment and they both begin to laugh.
>"Hahaha, gettis, 'eres a stallion tryin' ta intimidate ya."
>All you can feel is burning rage of all your failures compounded.
>You whip out a small device and press it placing it on the ground.
>The smell is almost unbearable even for you but it sends the two mares running.
>Thankfully Booty is smashed enough to withstand the smell of it.
>"Woooh, that's quite a stinker boss."
>You trudge on not even bothering to acknowlegde her.
"Head back to the hideout and tell the mares where we are."
>"But boss..."
>Barely turning back you just grunt at her and continue forward into the store.
>A small room full of dusty shelves greet you and you search for the light.
>"Stop right there sugar lips." a voice from behind coos to you.
>You grimace at the words and go to turn around.
>"Don't even try to turn around sugar lips, i've got PLENTY of tricks that I can do with this horn and one of them is putting your lights out."
>You feel a heavy weight on your arms and realise that they've been magically bound.
"So. Where are the girls, are they safe?" you say with a grimace.
>A harsh laughter rings out through the room.
>"You stallions really ARE that stupid aren't you?"
>"Don't tell me." Another barrage of laughter comes from behind you.
>"You don't know why we're called the BUG bites, sugar lips? How about Changeling? No? Not ringing any bells?"
>Honestly you don't know too much about the changelings other then the fact that they're chitinous little devils.
>"Well, i'll let you in on a little secret." You hear the clopping of hooves advancing on you until they're right behind you.
>An unatural shiver of fear traces your spine.
>"That mare that you've had your eye on? Hmmm... What did you call her again?"
>"Oh thats right, Hefty! Hefty Coffers. I did quite a perfomance didn't I? Well enough to fool you I suppose."
"I don't believe you. Hefty would never betray me."
>The clopping of hooves continues to circle you until the mare is in front of you.
>A changeling enters your vision, eyes a fierce green and strange markings etched into her chitin.
>"How naive you stallions are. Almost makes me feel bad for you." a chuckle escapes her lips like a poison "Almost."
>A green shimmer covers her and she before your eyes Hefty is standing there.
"Hefty! Ho- How! No I can't believe it."
>She changes back to her familar form and a sinister grin fits her lips.
>"I can see it in your eyes, are you starting to understand? How is that you managed to lose so much territory and supplies in such a little time?"
>Another cruel laugh echos through your mind.
>Various emotions fill your entire being. Anger, betrayal, fear and much, much more anger.
>"Stallions are just no good at running these sort of things anyway. I mean REALLY what did Copper expect when she got a stallion to do a mares job?"
>She waits a moment to let the words settle in and continues.
>"So how about letting a big strong Changeling like myself run your ragtag band of criminals?"
>Confused you wait for her to continue but she doesn't and the silence hangs in the air.
>She looks back up at you and realises that you're still here.
>"Ah. Maybe not forward enough perhaps? I suppose he is a stallion." She continues to mumble.
>"I was thinking we could go on a date sometime?" She says with a hopeful smile.
>You're just dumbstruck. Did this fucking bug just go through all this effort to ask you on a date, all that espionage and spying.
>Just to ask for a date.
>You start laughing, at first quietly but soon enough it becomes a full on hearty laugh.
>She looks nervously around the room.
>"Did I do something wrong?" Once again she mumbles to herself now pacing around in circles.
>You continue your laughter just unable to grasp the situation in all its absurdity.
I was a little bit drunk when I wrote this, and will probably regret writing it into this corner tomorrow. Originally I planned Anon going ape shit and assaulting a pony over the kidnapping and then causing a further violent tension within the criminal families but i'm not skilled enough for that so i went with bug cute i like bug.
I like it. I say roll with it.
bug cute good I like bug too
Vaguely reminds me of some artist who drew ponies with cloven hooves instead of regular hooves. Maybe that's how biology compromises with pony + human/hooves + toes.
Jeez, imagine going with ponka to visit her family and those 3 just look at you with that face, man hope ponks protect me form them
>not wanting pie wives
kys fag
This was better. Autistic "pony does a bad thing/is rude/is sexist and anon beats the shit out of them" chimp out greentexts are gay. Also bug a cute.
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>Dale, are you using those fumes in a well ventilated area?
>"I'm telling you, Hank, it TALKED to me. Plain as day."
>Bugs do not talk, Dale, that's just asinine.
>"She said you'd say that.."
Excellent dubs
so which one would want to name their first colt "Cream Pie"?
Did the changeling replace Hefty, or was she Hefty from the beginning?
I'm sure we'll find out on the next episode of Anon's Balls RGRE!
>weedleedleedleedlee deedleedeedleedeedlee

I can get behind that idea trips.


Not a fan of the 'mute' take on her but I can see her being soft spoken. Could play off of the potty mouth Tavi trope.


And this.
A strange turn of events, but is nice.
Keep going!
It's fine. It subverts expectations. Though an agressive snootle boop would be ok. Do go on.
I want to see porn of this Gilda.
>Bug cute
Wait, what if this leads to an alliance? Kinda like the arranged marriages in the middle ages. Little buggy here worked up the courage to ask Anon out. Granted, she went about the wrong way. If she tones the sexism down a bit she might have a chance.
I wouldn't say no to some.
I would love to see Hank talk to pinky and Fluttershy. How would Hank respond to pinky's craziness? or whatever.
It'd be more PiE or AiE since there's no rgreee.
Would you say the most recent Gilda is too buff?
Asking for a friend.
Yes but humanized ain't my bag to begin with so that's just my opinion.
"that mare just ain't right"

passes her a beer which she would meekly accept, despite not liking alcohol
she'd then join the line of "Yep Yep Mhmm" next to the fence after getting used to it

bet she wouldn't like him too much though, since his job is to sell fuel to cook animals
I have no problem with it, but at the same time I wouldn't say no to a few softer edges. End of the day, it's up to your friend.
Sup all got some more green to trundle along, it's not a full scene but I think it's got a good pause. Also please forgive stuck using phone to post...

>A breeze blew through the self-made boutique, a cracked window letting in faint sounds of passing traffic.
>The noise of one car drew closer than the rest before falling silent, and not a moment later, the door slammed open with a bang!
>"Welcome to my abode Darling! Do mind your step, I left behind a bit of a mess."
>You slowly walked into the renovated shed. You saw about what you'd expected, having frequented pony Rarity's own boutique, then you did a double-take at what was in the rear.
"Is that a forge, and what's that machine?"
>The forge was a squat block thing with what looked like a propane tank attached. Meanwhile, the machine itself clamped onto the ends of a large pole in the center.
>"Ah, I see you've seen my new hobby. It's hard to believe, but I have had ever so many clientele who have been just fascinated by this new trend." Rarity explained while she flicked on a small radio near her sewing machine.
>The radio crackled on with a burst of static before a female reporter's voice filled the air, "...recent brownouts have been sweeping the nation leading to the president to call for…"
>Rarity hmmed at the sudden interruption, then flicked the knob to a classical station, violin music filling the air, "Much better, now where was I?"
You faintly heard Rarity mumble something about errant fingers on nosey children. You decide to ignore it, and said, "A new trend you'd picked up on?"
>Rarity snapped her fingers at you, "Ah yes, chainmail jewelry! Initially, I had only planned on making chainmail for our costumes, as it would be much cheaper than ordering the pieces online.”
I'd say her arms are just a bit too long, like I keep getting the feeling that if the pic were fullbody they'd be the same size of her legs
"Alright, so that's what the machine is for? Why a forge though?"
>Rarity giggled with her hand over her mouth, "I was getting there Darling. So you see, when I wore a quite fabulous copper and steel necklace, Someone asked where I had got it. When they heard I made it myself, they asked if I could do a chainmail hem for their cosplay, to really sell their costume as it were. I hadn't considered branching out like that. However, they offered quite the princely sum, and far be it from me to spurn another's generosity! Why, it was enough to cover half the expenses for the forge, not to mention the grinders and polishers that I have in the back."
"Wow, that's rather impressive Rarity, how'd you manage to cover the other half of the expenses?"
>"Once word got out that I was doing custom chainmail pieces, I started getting more than a few commissions. It's gotten to be a bit of a handful actually."
"Have you considered hiring out for help? For more commissions and what not?"
>Rarity hummed in reply as she walked toward her desk. She shuffled among a layer of various notes and pins before retrieving her measuring tape, "I have considered it, Darling, but who could I trust with the delicate work I'd need?"
"You do have your friends to lean on don't you?"
>At this, a sudden bark of laughter escaped Rarity before she flushed and covered her mouth, "Sorry Darling, but the idea of Rainbow of all people trying to do a cross stitch on one of my pieces is, well, let us just say she's more inclined to athletics. Never mind Applejack, who I have seen rip phone books in two when some rather unbecoming gentlewomen had made remarks after her brother."
You shrugged with both wing and shoulder, "It couldn't hurt to ask right?"
>“No, perhaps not, but for now it’s manageable. I merely have to shuffle a few things here or there and I’ll have plenty of time to finish everything!’
>Rarity beamed at you with a familiar expression of misplaced confidence. You glanced over to her desk, noticing a small calendar covered in small notes, one of which was for tomorrow.
“Is that why you have Cloud Kicker’s fuzzy bathrobes commission circled three or four times for tomorrow?”
>“Wha-? Oh, OH! Oh bother, terribly sorry Anonymous. I thought I’d have more time, but oh drat, that was supposed to be done by today!”
“Maybe I can help? You did offer to make me a full costume pro bono, so I’d at least feel better knowing I earned it.”
>Rarity gnawed at her lip gently as she retrieved what had to have been the most garishly purple and fluffiest bathrobe you’ve ever seen.
>You catch small muttered words from the seamstress-cum-armorer as she marches towards her sewing machine with fabulous intent.
“Rarity?” You frowned watching Rarity ignored you then tried again louder, “Rarity!”
>The young woman is lost in her fey mood, you’ll need to do something to shock her out of it.
You leapt in front of the young woman and shouted, “Rarity!”
>Unbeknownst to you, your wings had flared out and up while your chest was puffed as full as it could be.
>The sudden movement and noise was enough to startle Rarity as she threw the robe in the air, “Waahah! Darling! Don’t startle me like that!”
>Instantly your wings drop as you finally catch on, just in time for the robe to land atop your head.
>Everything is purple!
"Sorry Rarity, uh a little help?"
>"Oh my, terribly sorry Darling, let me just-"
>The soft, fluffy fabric brushed against your skin, the sensation giving you goosebumps. Rarity covered her mouth with a hand as her sides shook.
>"Nothing Darling, although...your mane could do with a bit of a brushing."
>You reached a good back to feel for your mane, finding it had proofed up with a wild case of bed head.
"Ah, I see, could you, uh..."
>"Of course Darling," Rarity carefully set aside the robe then grabbed a hair brush from her beauty station, "If you would take a seat, Anonymous, up here?"
Rarity asked while she tapped gently on the chair before the mirror.
>You eyed the copious amounts of make-up, perfume bottles, and nail polish with trepidation.
"Alright, but only a brushing, you got that?"
>"Of course, of course, now if you would?"
>You took a fortifying breath, then you sat in the chair.You watched warily as Rarity smiled and began to tease the hair brush through your mane.
>The gentle tug and bristles sliding against your hair was, for lack of a better word, pleasant.
>Far more than you had expected as you leaned back against the chair, enjoying the pull as the brush scraped against your skin and hair like long nails finally catching an irritating itch.
>A few more minutes passed like this, Rarity humming faintly as she worked.
>"What was it that you were trying to ask again Anonymous?" Rarity asked at this point she had moved on from the brush and was sliding her fingers through your hair.
"Huh? Oh, I was hoping to help you with your robe, that is if I can even do anything with these."
>You finished saying, holding up your hooves.
“Ever since the change I’ve been worse than useless with this body, I couldn’t even do anything to help with that wolf.”
>Rarity paused in her grooming of your hair and walked around and grabbed your hooves gently. "Anonymous, Darling, far be it from me to lecture you about something I have little idea about," Rarity tightened her grip, "but you can't allow such a thing to get the better of you! Quite honestly, dear, you're adorable and if I wasn't a gentlewoman I'd have swept you off your hooves to hug and shower you in affection!"
"What? Rarity, come on, look at me, I look like-"
>A finger bopped you gently on the nose, "Up-up-up I shan't hear a word of it Anonymous! We may not have known each other long, but I know that everyone has a fabulous side to them and hearing you besmirch yourself upsets me so."
"I-I’m not? Really I’m fine! It’s just, it’s just so frustrating to suddenly become an invalid in your own body!”
Well, it could loosely be tied to RGRE, Pinky is a traditional mare like Hank is a traditional man. So Pinky would be a little hesitant to allow a stallion into the workshop, but since her father is a hard worker she's more accepting than someponys like Rarity, and slowly but surely Hank and Pinky would bond over the workshop activities.

Also c'mon Bobby is a stallon.
>Rarity went quiet, you thought you had screwed up again when she chuckled softly, "Well Darling, you may say that, but I’ve seen how you’re dealing with things. I’m quite familiar with it myself.” You know I hadn't always been as fantastic as I am before you now. I used to be belittled and bullied for my life choices and interests. A dyke and freak for what I liked and for a time I began to believe them.”
>You nervously swallow as her words hit far too close to home for your comfort.
"What, what happened?"
>Rarity turned away from you to her desk, a picture frame specifically that showed a much younger Rarity and four other young girls piled together, "Some very special little girls found me and became my very best friends. They saw that I was hurting. Just as badly as you are now." Sniffing Rarity carefully wiped her eyes, "They taught me that I deserved to be just as happy as the next person and if they had a problem with it then they would answer to her foot!"
Despite yourself a small whiff of laughter escaped you, "Rainbow Dash?"
>"And Fluttershy surprisingly."
"That girl always seems to surprise everyone."
>"That she does, and I love her all the more for it, now then!" Rarity clapped her hands together, "I believe you and I-"
>The door to the boutique suddenly opened as a pale white girl walked through the door, "Hey Rarity I'm- Is that a pony?!"
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It's Pinkie.
The characters name is Pinkie Pie. Not Pinky.
>It's Comfy
That's all for now just wanted to get something out at least

Rest of the story here https://pastebin.com/ue0xqhsL
If anything, she could stand to be even more buff.
Look at her traps. Totally lacking in mass. I bet she doesn't work her calves either. Tsk tsk tsk.
I'd say her proportions a a bit top heavy. I still wouldn't say no to her though.
that face Pinkie makes when she decides to use the strap on later that night
Nice new update, Comfs. Have a (you)
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More Anon, Moonie, Bon Bon, Littlepip, and Blackjack later tonight, hopefully.
RGRE doesn't require Anon to be human, or that he has to be there at all.
If you don't like that you can always just fuck off to some human anon thread.
I think its fine. I'm not overly into muscle girls to so I am not the target demo
>Monday afternoon was usually quiet, even during the evening in your shift.
>When you work in a bar famous for its drink and many unique guests you relish the slow business hours. It gives you time to organize drinks, glasswares, and to generally appreciate the liquor collection you get to play with.
>You usually get some high level customers sometimes. Be it diplomats, ambassadors, generals, and the occasional small time royalties. Though the bulk of your customers are from the elite part of societies, the sort that would refuse to admit they knew Jeffrey Epstein
>Today was rather different, your shift happened to come with the entire bar reserved. For whom, you weren’t told. The only answer from your boss was “it’s a surprise”
>So for now, before the rush would start you start brushing up on some languages that might come up. Be it spanish, german, or chingchang. Either way you were worried. The last time you were told it was a “surprise” you served an anteater
>A fucking anteater
>Maybe it’ll be komodo dragon this time who knows
>The bell chimed as the door was opened. There, you saw a woman with slicked back hair with a badge shaped of a thunder with wings pinned to her coat collar.
>And… actual wings. Fucking honest to god wings that matched her hair color.
“What the fuck.”
>The woman took off her visor, staring directly at you with a smug smirk.
>“See something you like?”
>Now, you were proud of your professionalism. One does not simply work in a bar like this without racking up some experience, but professionalism be damned, you needed to know.
“Sorry ma’am. I couldn’t help but to look at your uh… wings. Are they real?”
>She smirked smugly then the wings slowly unfurled and moved so naturally. You couldn’t help but not to keep your eyes on them.
>“As real as it gets, hun. Names’s Spitfire, Captain Spitfire.”
>Even now you couldn’t tell if she was LARPing or you were tripping off your balls and this was some hallucinations
“Pardon me for asking, but what country are you from?”
>“Equestria, 1st Combat Wing, the one and only Wonderbolts.”
“Equestria… oh right. That makes sense, I’ve been hearing about you guys. I’m guessing your friends reserved this place?”
>She nodded. “I heard this bar was famous with cute bartenders so chose to party here today. Bureaucracy can be a dull business and us Equestrians like to…” She locked her eyes on yours firmly, unbreaking. “Blow off steam.”
>You damned your professionalism once, you weren’t going to do it again.
“I see. Until your friends arrive, how about some drinks? Are you familiar with earth’s liquor?”
>She shrugged. “I’ll take something with a good burn. The strongest if possible.”
“Easy enough.”
>Behind the counter you grab the bottle of absinth then pour in the usual glass.
>“C’mon hun, I’m a woman. I don’t need some handicap stuff. Give it to me straight,”
“Are you sure? This is some strong-”
>There was an annoyed frown twisting her lips and narrowing her eyes. A look of someone that did not appreciate having their tempered bravado tested in fear of revealing their fragile mettle. >“I said I can handle it. It’s not a man’s place to question a woman, got it?”
“Uh… right. Silly me.”
>“Good boy. Honestly, I can’t believe they let men here go off about by themselves.”
>There was no hesitation in her movement. With one swift motion Spitfire swallowed the damn thing in one. You weren’t sure if she even had a meal before drinking either. Idiots like her were the reason why you kept bottles of water. Oh boy. This is just like when those Hollywood assholes showed up. Then again all hollywood people are assholes.
Oh, this looks nice. Your name tells me that it must be about Spitfi-
>human shit
Nevermind. Disregarded.
>You place the bottle of water on the counter, this gets you a hell of a glare from her.
>“What… you think I can’t *hick* handle my drink?”
“That was really strong stuff, miss. Seriously this thing can kill you if you’re not careful. This is for just in case. I’m not doubting you.”
>“Hmph. Do you cook?”
“Uh… yeah? It’s part of the job though it doesn’t happen often.”
>“Maybe there is hope for human men after all. Sweet Celestia, is it getting hot in here or what?”
>Before you could say anything she stripped herself of the coats, then unbuttoned her shirt.
>You were supposed to stop her.
>The unblemished canvas that was her skin was flushed with red. As all painting deserved you gave your undivided attention. To her sunset eyes, pink lips, curved neck, and bountiful chest, all enraptured you.
“Miss you shouldn’t…”
>Most drunkards moved like a dying dog, stumbling and falling. Spitfire moved slowly true, but each of her movements teased a sweeter view. Her body dulled by the alcohol made her movement sluggish yet so enticing to watch. Each button undone, the heavy breath, and the fabrics teasing broke your professionalism you pride yourself in with one blow.
>“You must really see something you like to stare at me like that.” She said with the same teasing grin.
>The intoxicating bourbon eyes locked with yours, then she smiled. A teasing grin that knew how much of a fool you made yourself look like.
>Spitfire leaned close to the bar, so close that your nose was millimeters away from your nose.
>“When Princess Cadance told me about these soulmate things I was about to laugh my ass off. Truth is, I was really nervous meeting you, Anonymous.”
>Hold up
“How did you-”
>Her thin finger rested on your lips, it smelled of cinnamon and spice.
>“We can work out the details later.”
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>She grabbed your tie then yanked it toward her, following with a kiss. Her lips were soft, faint with the taste of absinth still lingering. It didn’t take long before you fell into a ravenous pit of arousal. Tongues were intertwined while her arms wrapped your back and your hands feeling her sunlit hair.
“Wait.” You break out of the kiss. “The rest of the customers, you reserved this place didn’t you?”
>“I did, and told them the meeting time was three hours ahead.”
>Spitfire vaulted over the counter then sauntered over to you. You flinched when her hand slithered between your skin and pants.
>“Don’t question it too much. All you need to know is that you’re mine now.”
“Y-yes ma’am.”
>“Atta colt.”
>There were questions sure but…
>Who were you to question a Captain?

Very warm thank you to LaP for allowing me to use his prompt. I hope you guys enjoyed the art and the story!
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>"Alright, Twilight. Here it comes!"
>The first rope hit your tongue square on
>The next hit your cheek
>The next your chin
>This continued until you had one eye closed and a mouthful of cum
>You were Twilight Sparkle
>The nerd, not the princess
>You were at Sunset's house for a sleepover
>You were currently topless, and there was a dick in your face
>A dick that was still somehow hard after just painting your face like s portrait
>Around you, Sunset and the other girls were whooping
>"Atta girl!"
>"He was pent up, huh?"
>"That was a freakin' load!"
>Some cum broke off from your chin to fall on your breasts
>You were breathing in and out through your nose fast
>Obviously, you were flustered
>What girl wouldn't be after a male masturbated in front of and came right in front of them?
>Looking up, you saw the owner of the cock that had just given you a facial
>Another weird alien
>He looked perfectly calm and collect, except for his eyes
>There was laughter in them as he looked down at you
>Ever since he had come here, Anon had played the ignorant tourists
>He didn't know how things worked around here, what was appropriate, etc
>It was a lie
>He knew what he was doing
>You didn't need to run a full psychological test to figure out what was going on with him
>No doubt males were the sexual aggressors in his world, as weird as that sounds
>He was taking advantage
>Abusing his new found power
>Not that the other girls cared
>The second he started his little act, they had steered him in this direction
>First it was Rarity putting her mark in all of his clothing
>Then it was Sunset having him sit in her lap
>Pinkie would just rub herself against him during school
>"Golly, I'm sorry about that, Twilight," Anon said, rubbing the back of his head. "I didn't mean to shoot that much."
>"It's fine dear. It's all part of the game," Rarity said with a grin
>Aw yes
>The "game"
>Basically an orgy with convoluted steps
>You had been picked first
>Meaning you had to humor your friends and their rules for this
>Were you complaining?
>Absolutely not
>Anon might had been pulling your collective legs, but he was still a living, breathing male
>With a dick
>And he wanted to do things
>To you
>You were a cynic, but if there was someone willing to punch the ol' V-card for you, you weren't saying no
>"Come on, Twilight. Swallow it all," Sunset said, obviously masturbating
>You gave her a look, swallowing once, then again, then again
>You opened your mouth wide, showing that it was relatively clean
>"Great! That's my nerd!" Rainbow said, high-hiving Applejack. "Now kiss the tip to get all the points."
>Anon almost snorted
>You saw his chest move
>He hide it with a couch, but his eyes didn't lie
>You did as you were told, planting a kiss on his cockhead
>Anon throbbed against your lips
>The girls cheered again
>"Great! So how many points do I get, girls?" Anon asked
>"Fifteen," Fluttershy said, a notebook in hand
>The other girls were just screwing around, but you had a feeling that she thought the game was real. "You can double it by, um, eating her out?"
>"Oh, really?" Anon asked, the picture of innocence. "What about if I ate her ass?"
>Your breath caught in your throat
>Eating ass?
>You still hadn't even been kissed on the lips yet, for crying out loud!
>Humming, Fluttershy leafed through the notebook
>"Lets see.... it looks like you get three point seven times, but only if she cums."
>For once, the mirth in his eyes reached his lips, turning into a smile
>"Well, gee. I guess you need to get on that bed then, huh, Twilight?" he said. "We don't want the other girls getting an easy win now, do we?"
>He knew you knew he was full of crap
>He didn't care
>And honestly?
>You didn't either
>Not much anyway
>You'd have preferred if he was just honest with it, instead of beating around the bush...
Very nice, Spitfag. Thank you for sharing.
>Sighing, you stood up
>Anon immediately groped your boob
>Not to be outdone, you grabbed his cock, giving it a few awkward strokes
"Alright, but I want my pussy licked first, and afterward you need to go brush your teeth. I'm serious."
>Anon slapped your ass, sweeping you off your feet
>Thankfully, you didn't make a sound
>"Deal. Pussy first, then ass. Then I'll lick you all over. THEN I'll brush my teeth," he said. "After that we can get serious."
>Goddess help you
While you don't have to announce that you're going to shitpost, I appreciate you doing so as it lets me know when to close out this window.
>What about if I ate her ass?
zoomer hands typed this post
Nice one, Spitfag. Nice to have another writer in the thread!
Forgot to add my pastebin, I only changed my name that's it.
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>Derpy is very earnestly supportive of you whenever you try to overcome your stallion handicap, whether you succeed or fail she'll always believe in you.
Another one for you anons, made some more art since it's Friday, I'll post it at the end of the story

>Be the loving husband to your horse waifu, Anonymous. Once again Spitfire forgot her lunch again. This was the fifth time she forgot her lunch. It’s strange since she never forgets anything in the house. She was sharper than cheddar.
>“Hey Mr.Spitfire, did Captain forget her lunch again?”
“Oh hey Misty. Yeah, this is the fifth time too. Not that I’m complaining.”
>“That is strange… unless.”
>“Nah it’s nothing. Look here she comes.”
>You watch Spitfire drilling the new recruits. It was odd seeing her yelling since it was very seldom for her to do so. Excluding cadet x drill instructor roleplay.
> Eventually the recruits come flying down one by one, too exhausted to move. Well not all of them that is. Spitfire however, there was no sweat, she looked bored really.
>Before you went over to Spitfire a pony stood in front of you
>“Hey there stud.”
“Uh… hi.”
>“Finally came to settle with a mare like me, name’s Rainbow Drops. I’ve seen you coming here often.”
>You look over to Misty only to see her shrugging.
“Yeah because Spi-”
>“Shhhh… you don’t have to make any excuses. How about you and I go somewhere private. My training is over and we can-”
>“And do what exactly?”
>The mare, with the steel teats turned over to Spitfire. Oh my, that was quite the death glare she had going on, one that can melt steel.
>“Come on ma’am, the training is over can’t you blame me, right stud?” She asked looking at you
>“That ‘stud’ is my husband.” Spitfire flatly informs the trainee
>You’ve never seen a face dropped to pure fear in such short amount of time before
>“Congratulations trainee Rainbow Drops. You’ll be handling the latrine duties for the next six months. Dismissed.”

>Misty chuckled as she watched the recruit leave. The mischievous mare she was, even this was too cruel.
“Hey sugar pie, here’s your lunch.”
>“Thanks hun. I gotta do some paperwork, you want to wait for me in my office?”
“Sure, I wanted to drop off some brownies for you and your ponies too.”
>“You’re the best hun.”
>Spitfire flew to give you a quick kiss, the she turned to Misty. “Misty, you’re still on light duty aren’ you?”
>“Yep, but I came to say hi to Mr.Spitfire. I had a feeling he would come here with how you’re so ‘forgetful’ with lunch.”
“Speaking of… is something happening pumpkin?”
>Spitfire turned her gaze away from you “N-no nothing like that. Maybe I’m just tired this week.”
>“Hey Mr.Anon do you always come to her office after dropping off her lunch?”
“Usually yeah.”
>“It almost looks like cap is forgetting her lunch on purpose to-”
>“If you value your life Misty Sky. You’ll shut up. Understand?”
>“Oh look at the time time to preen my feathers, see ya Mr.Spitfire!”
>You hold your grin.
“You know if you wanted to see me you can just tell me.”
>“Wha- I really did forget my lunch five times in a row it’s not because I wanted to see you!”
You frown a little “So you don’t want to see me anymore?”
>The ponies’ eyes were on you and Spitfire, and she was redder than an apple
>Spitfire was an honest mare, maybe with a side of snark or brutal honesty. However, she was terrible at lying. Worse than Applejack which was saying something.
“Alright alright. Let’s head in your office.”
>“You’re going to get it tonight Anon.”
“Promises promises.”

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I hope you guys enjoyed the new update for both stories. Have a safe weekend anons.
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>You waited inside your office, with paperwork done all she needed to do was wait until she was off duty
>You were going to show anon who the mare n charge was...
>After a quick knock Misty Sky entered your office with a shit eating grin
"What is it Misty Sky?"
>"Honey Bear huh?"
>It was too bad she escaped the moment you threw your stapler at her
>"Hey Rarity I'm- Is that a pony?!"
Short but good. I look forward to reading more
We are but men: ROCK
He already admitted that he's autistic and that he won't stop doing this until the victims of his retarded ire leave. Don't acknowledge him and report the posts when they pop up.
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>I don't like thing
Does she celebrate actual misandry Anon overcomes, or does she have a biased view on a male's abilities and her congratulations would appear condescending if not for the absolute sincerity she delivers them with? "Congrats on getting that engineering job and succeeding in a mare-dominated field", or "you figured out how to use horsecomputers, and I know most colts don't understand horsecomputers"?
>ywn a hot nerd
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Very good. Thanks for joining us. I look forward to seeing what else you'll bring to the thread.

unf. Very nice. Will we get to see rest of the girls' turns?

Love it.

>When your daughteru wants to be a shitposter just like her daddy, but she's too smol to reach the computer
A write- AND drawfriend?
Are the stars aligning or something, this is extraordinary! Thank you for your works, drawritefriend, I think I can safely say, we all appreciate it!
A little short but very nice all around.
Glad you guys enjoyed it.
>It's somehow both but she's SO damn sincere and happy about everything that most Stallions are just happy they got praised.
>Pic related

That is so god damn cute
God, Derpy would be amazing in RGRE.
stallion hooves typed this post.
>>She shrugged. “I’ll take something with a good burn. The strongest if possible.”
"One shot of 190-proof Everclear, coming right up..."
She would be the absolute best, especially if you factor in she's a single mom and probably taught the same things to dinky.
Tiny little unicorn foal also being very supportive of you even when riding around on your shoulders and giving your head a hug.
I think she's just fine as is
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>Tfw Derpy somehow managed to have a kid before she did even though they're practically the same age
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Not at all. I love her current level of buff. Maybe could do with more ass, but I'm a degenerate booty connoisseur and we haven't seen her from behind so hard to tell.
>Derpy is the RGRE version of the typical sitcom dad
>gets herself and Dinky into crazy situations due to her comical ineptitude, but always manages to pull through in the end and deeply cares for her family
>Derpy doesnt 'dislike' Rarity, but she is mildly annoyed that the Fashion mare tends to pay more attention to her career than her own little sister.
>The fact said little sister is practically being raised by her due to their parents constant holidays is enough to make Derpy scrunch if she thinks too long about it.
>Family shouldn't abandon Family, working all the time is hardly an excuse when you live in the same building.
>Derpy works the morning shift at the post office and still makes time to wish her little one a good morning and make her lunch for school.
>So maybe she might use the Customer Service Voice™ a bit more than strictly nessesary when it comes to Rarity, but Derpy can't quite bring herself to care all that much.
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Today seems a good a day as any to start an OnlyFanettes and get someones daughters to buy me a new wardrobe and game console

What're the rest of you doing today?
I'm waiting for more gamerthot
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being the happy and not slutty househusband to my lovely horsewife.
Yeah, I don't like hard, muscley boobs :(
Muh heart dubs, muh heart.
The thought of looking after Dinky for the day after Derpy gets unexpectedly called into work is appealing to me on a deep level.

>tfw no daughteru
You mean my streamer waifu, sunny bunny sugar cove sleepy time.
EqG Sunny may still be a pony on the inside, but my wife is a pony on the outside too. As she should be.
>ywn give Derpy the sitcom wife are-you-sure-that’s-a-good-idea stare after she says she’s gonna take Dinky out fishing on her day off during a goddamn hurricane
>or when she says she’s gonna go and get the perfect hearthswarming tree at the literal last minute
Reversed gender roles. Try and keep up with the rest of the class.
>t. actual retard
Don't try to meme your way out of smoothbrain status. That's not how that word works.
>>or when she says she’s gonna go and get the perfect hearthswarming tree at the literal last minute
Does it involve flying to the middle of the Everfree and trying to cut one down?
it involves derpy bringing in a small branch cause she got chased out by timber wolves
>Inb4 Derpy has the Harmony tree, intact, set up in the living room.
>Anon's not sure if he WANTS to ask.
You can have that opinion, even if it's wrong but we can both agree Sunny is the best. Sleepy snuggle stream max comfy, even better if with hot cider on the table to sip.
>"Hey Anon."
>"I don't mean to alarm you, but I'm gonna fuck your brains you."
>"I mean all night, break breaking fucking."
>"I'm gonna fuck the green off that sexy body of yours."
>"You're gonna cum so hard every one of your male ancestors will call me mommy."
>"That's why got the helmet and the goggles."
>"This fucking is gonna be THAT intense."
>"When your soul comes back to your body from Nirvana, and you can move that lower body of yours, you'll want me to marry you on the gosh darn spot."
>"And I will."
>"And we'll have a nice, sweet, huge family."
>"And you'll never be able to look at one of your women again."
>"Because men are made for mares. Especially for earth ponies that can go for hours and milk you like a machine."
>"Now come over here and pet me so I can start neighing and buck you onto my back, you hunk."
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>but I'm gonna fuck your brains you."

>tfw no earth pony wife to fuck you through the mattress every night with the sole intent of having a bunch of little ones
>You are Starlight Glimmer, and you got out of your last mind control magic fiasco easy!
>Twilight said you had to do some community service in the mirror world with Sunset Shimmer supervising you.
>She was a sis and would help you out no problem.
>Twilight thought you would learn some humility or something doing this, whatever.
>This will be the easiest month of community service you've ever done.

>You are Sunset Shimmer and you are waiting near the statue for Starlight to showup.
>Princess Twilight said Starlight fucked up again and that she needed to be taken down a peg or two.
>Well she didn't exactly say that but you are paraphrasing.
>And you know just how in this backwards world.
>Here it turns out men are dominant here.
>And you know first hand how easy it is to not wrap your cunt around every hot dick that is practically throwing itself at you.
>Time to show Starlight how humbling it is to be the non dominant sex.

>You are Starlight Glimmer again.
>And your host Sunset is taking you to a pool.
"You sure I need to wear this 'swimsuit' Sunset?"
>"Of course. If you haven't noticed humans need to wear clothes in this world. But don't worry, I found one that is very minimal so it is as close to not wearing anything at all."
>Don't need to tell you twice.
>You awkwardly change out of your clothes still trying to get used to this new body.
>You've also been noticing a familiar feeling in your body, almost like being in heat.
>But you were no where near your cycle.

>After a 'car's ride you end up at the pool.
>It feels so nice to not be wearing all those clothes.
>You aren't exactly sure how you feel about the colts here, but they have been looking at you like you have the biggest teats on the planet.
>And you like it.
"So tell me about the colts here."
>"Oh they are great. In this world they practically throw themselves at you. But they like to be dominant here."
"Are you kidding? What self respecting mare would allow themselves to submit to a colt?"
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>"You'd be surprised."
>Just as she said that two colts walked by and looked toy two over.
>"Damn baby you look good. How about you and your friend join us today?"
>"Sorry boys, I'm taken. But my friend here is free."
>They smile at you.
"What are you doing?"
>You whisper to her.
>"Haven't you always dreamed abo iui t two colts at once?"
"What mare hasn't? But... are you saying I can have both? At once!?"
>"If you play your cards right, then yes."
>Your eyes widen and you can't help but smile.
>"And guys here last longer than stallions back home."
>She says with a wink.
>Oh my.
>"But you need to act like a colt."
>"Trust me, it drives them wild."
"You want me to act like a cunt licking dyke?"
>"Do you want to be double penetrated?"
"T-they do yo the ass?"
>"They beg us for it."
>Sweet Celestia you hit the jackpot!
>"But remember, you need to act like a colt the whole time."
>You walk over to the waiting colts.
>"Hey baby, glad you decided to join us."
>The one says slapping your backside.
>Oh my!
>That feels so weird.
>But if you can get your cunt stuffed the embarrassment will be worth it.
>Why did Twilight think this world would be a punishment?

>You are Sunset again.
>Oh this poor mare.
>A few days here is a vacation.
>A week is trying but more than a month is torture to the mind.
>The positive reinforcement of sex makes you accept acting more submissive.
>She will return back to Equestroa a changed mare.
>If she ever decides to go back that is.
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>tfw some dyke calls you a donkey in front of your husband
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>Bats can echolactate.
>Mares only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting
>t. word policette
My hands typed this post.
>This was ridiculous
>“Anon…” Spitfire looks at you longingly, and usually it works. By god does it work. In this case however her health trumped her habits. “How about we skip dinner tonight… and get to the dessert?”
>Again, this would work if not for the fact that you were pissed off more than anything.
“Are you gonna bring that monster with you?”
>“Uh, duh. Of course I am.” She bit her lower lips, giving you the come hither eyes. “So you and I can enjoy our night for a long long time.”
“You are not bringing that sugary junk with you. And that’s going to be the last can.”
>“You can’t do that, I'm the mare of the house!”
“And who’s the one cooking the meals?”
>She gives a resigning huff. “You.”
>“Cleaning the house?”
“And who’s the one that is pretending to forget to deliver lunch just so a mare can see his husband?”
>There was a blush that complimented her coat. “Y-you… but Anon this is sugar free!”
“Do you want to be dick free too?”
>“B-but it’s also zero calories!”
“How does zero sex sound then?”
>Spitfire at the moment is laying on the couch, wings unfurled. It wasn’t the “holy buck this is some good sex my wing is out.” But it’s “get the buck away from my baby” unfurled wings.
>“So? It’s my house, I can drink what I want!”
>She gives you a gruffy reply along with a glare, sipping on her monster with a satisfied sigh. >You glare back with your arms crossed.
“You know what? Fine. I’m going to bed.”
>You take off your shirts, your under shirt, your pants, then your underwear. Spitfire is obviously dumbfounded with her eyes glued on to you.
>“D-damn it Anon a stallion should be unsheathed when bathing or making love!”
“I’m just getting naked to so I can shower and go to sleep.” You say all-so-innocently. “I think your sticky hoof got on to me. And you know how much I hate sticky messes. So don’t even think about snuggling me tonight.”
>When you shrug you make sure to flex
“I have no idea what you mean. Goodnight pumpkin pie.”
>You wait inside your bedroom. Soon enough, you hear the sound of cans both full and empty placed into a bag. You hear the door opening and the sound of hoofsteps stopping at the bed. Without opening your eyes you lift the sheets. Soon, you felt the warmth of your wife snuggling in close.
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>“I’m sorry I yelled at you, Anon...“
>You bring her closer with your arm.
“It’s fine. I just don’t want you to ruin your body with that drink. I wouldn’t know what to do if you were sick.”
>“You know you’re speaking to the captain of the Wonderbolts right?”
“I’m not talking to the captain of the Wonderbolts but my wife that I cherish dearly. I won’t stop you from drinking that sugary junk just promise me to not overdo it?”
>Her sunset eyes gleamed. “I promise. Besides, the only source of energy I need is you, Anon.”
>Agile mare she was, she quickly got on top of you. There was the sultry leadened gaze as well as her teasing tail flicking. “And mama needs some energy tonight. The protein kind.”
>You are her energy source
“Yes ma’am.”
>“Atta colt.”
Special thank you to nignog for helping me with art. I hope you guys enjoyed this update! I'll get on finishing Diamond Tiara's story soon.
This update was rather short though, are you running out of steam?
Kind of, I usually get ideas out of nowhere so the length is really random. That and stuff like this tend to be shorter since it's just small "prompts"
>grug have unusual night-picture last night involving horse.
>grug is glad he already have sons in tribe.
>grug fears life-mate cannot compare with Mommy.
little did grug know that was a premonition of one of his descendants thousands of years down the line
>a male without sex in RGRE is the same as a man who has not experienced post nut clarity
>stallions in rgre are more susceptible to falling into mania if they do not nut
>that's why ponies see anon's no nut november as dangerous

>but a human who goes through distroy dick december afterwards goes through a unbelievable level of clarity that only the old philosophers could hope to achieve
>now anon justs wish these pones could let him do that
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>Reversed Reversed Gender Roles Equestria Girls
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cute burro
>You are Anon
>And you are very bored
>So you decided to prank each of your wives
>You enter the living room, then clear your throat to prepare for a stern voice.
"Pinkamena Diane Pie!"
>The pony in question freezes in her party planning and her mane goes poofy to flat in mere seconds
>She trudges toward you, avoiding your gaze in the most heart wrenching frown and eyes.
>"A-anon? Did I do something?"
"You did... you make me the happiest stallion in Equestria."
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S1 Luna always has a special place in my heart.
That said, any context for the pic?

Nope! Literally just hosting it here to link to from another board.
Burrito sabanero.mp3
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plz don't bully ponka, she is just trying to be the best horse wife she can.
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Not fruit bats
>You're an errand pony...sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill
>"Hon' are you going to talk to all the desserts like this?"
Mares want one thing and it's fucking disgusting

Two dozen foals
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>"Hon' are you going to talk to all the desserts like this?"
>Celestia looks up at you with a smug smirk.
>Oh god, you played right into her hoof. With a gentle voice, she responds.
>"Only the pretty ones. Speaking of, when do you get off for the day?"
>"Only the pretty ones. Speaking of, when do you get off for the day?"
"After you and before I fall asleep"
>While maintaining the dream realm can be stressful some nights, there are few things Luna loves more than to help a father-to-be overcome his doubts and fears.
>New life is always a thing to be celebrated, and the easiest way to do so is to show the stallion the proto-dreams of his unborn foal, or foals if he was particularly lucky/virile.
>And with the first proto-dream of her own foal growing within her, she looks forward to introducing Anon to his firstborne soon. She knows he will make a wonderful father.
You have instilled a powerful sense of sorrowful longing within me, Anon.
God I hope you start writing something else.
Now this is a great post
Good stuff Comfy, glad you're continuing to write it
Keep it up, Comfy! This is one of my favourite stories.
Luna would have a stressful and very difficult time with me.
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this is not the greatest shitpost on the board, this is just a tribute
Thank you. I'm glad someone played along.
How would a R63 Celestia and Luna look in RGREquestria?
Puppets on strings, probably. Their job would be to sit around and look handsome while conducting ceremonial tasks that have nothing to do with running the nation, and largely rubber stamping the things that do.
And then King Anon gets thrown into Equestria and is shocked at how the 2 alicorns "lead".
So he starts teaching them how to be real kings, to the disnay of the mares in control... who try to stop anon in silly pone ways.

Or something along those lines.
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So when is SQA going to update?
I don’t know what the worst part of this is
>King Anon has to deal with the Secret Organization sending Pie "Assassinations" after him.
>He treats it like weird pranks, everyone else sees it as him "surviving traumatic events".
>Kinda like the Dark Sisterhood but they just keep trying instead of worshipping Anon or some wild shit.
I have the week kind of off so I'm hoping to have it done sometime this week.
This is why if you end up in RGREqg you fuck the nerdy girls, be a good man and help prevent school shootouts
>"Oh? She broke up with you over the phone?"
>"What a dyke. Not even mare enough to tell you to your face."
>"No class. No respect for the gentler sex."
>"What are mothers teaching their daughters here?"
>"Between you and me I think it's because their teats are so close to their heads. It messes with them somehow."
>"Come on, get that butt over here and let me give you a hug."
>"I might not be in touch with my feelings, but I know when a colt's sad."
>"I'll make it allll better. Just let me wrap my wings around you and you can forget all about her."
>"See? Don't you feel better already?"
>"I'm softer than any hyoo-man girl, huh?"
>"There you go, just press your face into my tuft. That's a colt."
>"You stallions have it so hard over here, huh?"
>"The mares make you make all the tough decisions, then have the audacity to leave you high and dry."
>"There, there. It'll be all better now."
>"You won't have to worry about that anymore."
>"I'm right here."
>"You can come with me, and I'll show you how a mare's supposed to treat a stallion."
>"I'll give you so much bucking love that if you were a Changeling you'd EXPLODE."
>"I can do things your old girlfriend couldn't. Or any hyoo-man mare for that matter."
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>"Between you and me I think it's because their teats are so close to their heads.
took me a moment to realize this was an RGRE p0ny on earth prompt
now that i think about it it might be interesting to see the consequences of long term intermingling between RGREquestria and earth. perhaps it'd be as small as the next door neighbors live their lives RGRE all the way to neghborhoods or even entire towns that are reverse gender role enclaves dotting the landscape
competition between mares and women for men, competition between women and stallions for attention, ought to be real interesting
I've always liked the idea of a large band of traveling Anon warriors/mercenaries, who migrate around to different pony villages, impregnate the mares, then if any of the children are male, they turn out human and are taken into the army as recruits to eventually replace combat losses and aging soldiers, and if any of the children are female, they leave the filly at the village with their mother, and pay them some coins to help support their new child.
Going back and rereading the story this picture is associated with was like unlocking a long repressed traumatic memory.
never read the story. don't intend to. i just really REALLY like the idea of humans and ponies interbreeding with neither truly going extinct
>males are humans with minor pone traits
>females are mares with minor human traits
i've seen mares with human traits several times, what would be some minor traits a son could inherit from his pony matrilineal line?
Slightly flattened teeth, increased body hair, more vibrant eye/skin/hair pigment, stronger ear muscles, etc
anyone know the link for the story?
>"Now, you know me. I would never start a fight or an unfair argument."
>"I'm princess of friendship for a reason."
>"It's very difficult to argue with the facts."
>"Dozens and dozens of tests, over a wide range."
>"I might be a princess, but I'm also a scientist, and a scientist will believe in a proven theory until a better one is presented to her."
>"A human female is not the primary mate of a human male."
>"The best, truest mate for any human male is a mare."
>"It doesn't matter the race of the pony, or the race of the human."
>"Pony/human pairings are statically happier, more wholesome, and long lasting."
>"The couples also produce more robust, healthier, bigger foals."
>"This is not based on arrogance or bias, but tested results and proven numbers."
>"You might not like it, but this is what peak happiness looks like for a human stallion."
>"You big teated dykes."
That's disgusting and not even fucking close to RGRE. Get out.
I was making a comment on Extreme Sexual Dimorphism, not RGRE you fucking retard.
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Do you think you'd make a good father, especially in RGRE where "fatherhood" means something different than what we were raised to understand it meant?
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Complete and total assimilation.
I like thing trips.
Harmony magic infused in your children, they are more joyful and pleasant as a result. The random song numbers are a mix bag.
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>The random song numbers are a mix bag.
>you may accidentally sire the next justin bieber
Fuck that, I'd ask them if there's room for one more.
Lieutenant Dan, you ain't got no legs!
Yes, and you don't want it.
AAG is both the name of the story and the sound that you make when you read it
It's somewhat infamous over at /fimfic/: https://pastebin.com/YpSiMW3Y (spoilers, if you care)
You shouldn't spoonfeed, much less spoonfeed garbage.
This. If you're going to shill fimfic shit, at least shill good fimfic shit.
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>It doesn't matter... the race of the human

If you inflict irl niggers on ponykind i would flay you alive, you would live to a ripe old age while permanently flayed. Pinhead would be floored at how much pain you would be in constantly. This is not edge, its a promise.
It's not exactly hard to find. I reverse searched it on derpi myself to confirm it was AAG (I thought the pony looked too cute to be DJ). At least now that anon knows that it's garbage
Reading that summary gave me cancer
It's fanfiction and it's fimfic, I don't know what you were expecting. There are maybe, maybe, a dozen or so good stories on that site that didn't originate from here, the rest is pure trash.
AAG is a special kind of shitty. It's easy to find fics that sound like the author flunked out of 8th grade English, or where there was clearly no plan, so the story just meanders in random directions for 500,000 words. AAG, on the other hand, is a perfectly well constructed story, but the author is just chock-full of bad ideas.
>AAG, on the other hand, is a perfectly well constructed story
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Seethe harder
It's like it started off as a kinda interesting concept (what if a daughter poner accidentally onto earth and gets adopted by humans, and then mama poner finds her eventually and wants her back but daughter poner loves her human family and wants to say) but oh my god is it ever a clusterfuck. That's quality drama material if handled properly, but it wasn't. The story tries to do a hundred things with a hundred characters all at once, and it might actually have been decent if the entire thing was focused on Rarity and DJ's interactions. That happens a lot on fimfic. The author comes up with a decent premise but fucks it all up because they want it to be epic and deep and profound and edgy and shit.
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>There are maybe, maybe, a dozen or so good stories on that site that didn't originate from here, the rest is pure trash
Most everything on the /fimfic/ "starter kit" list is good. (Ignore the numbers, the scoring system was weird.) Certainly there's more than a dozen good ones. In fact there are probably several authors who each have more than a dozen good fics to their names (mostly oneshots, of course). Cold In Gardez definitely, probably Admiral Biscuit too, Estee (though I personally can't stand his stuff), maybe Horizon and Bad Horse. And /fimfic/ is always happy to recommend stuff if there's a particular type of story you're looking for.
Are all of those stories in that picture greentexts? Because if those are FimFiction stories, then there's a distasteful lack of Dropbear stories on there.
I'll never forgive that son of a bitch for dropping the changeling story without giving me a goodbye. Fucker, I was emotionally invested in that thing. Same with Floored! YOU DICK I JUST WANT CLOSURE
I like to think so and tend to fantasise about it, but i'm also terrified of the prospect because my parents fucked me up and i dont want to repeat that.
Its sheer dumb fucking chance that i'm as well adjusted as i am, and i'm a guy thats in love with a grey pegasus single mom that has an eye condition.
oh my fucking god
I keep reading it, and it gets worse and worse. This has to be bad on purpose.
Its extremely bad. The stuff with the main character is ok, but I found out I had memory holed a massive, convoluted, and retarded war plot
can a nigga explain why?
If you bothered to even open the pastebin you'd see it's a set by step breakdown of why you utter baboon
Read the pastebin, and it shall be revealed to you.
I made the horrible decision by reading it on fimfic. Can someone bring me a bottle of bleach please?
>>Literally the only thing you care to revel about yourself is that you are human.

Honestly, that part would make an interesting story. An Anon arrives, literally ONLY ever says "I'm Anon and I'm human" when asked to describe himself.

Would pones be suspicious? What's wrong with Anon? Is this considered shock or is he truly hiding something about himself?
>Anon is Applejack's and Rainbow Dash's beard
>But they don't realize it
>AJ and RD are 100% heterosexual mares, even if they don't get wet at the sight of dongs or foal-chasing legs
>The herd wedding night consisted of hugging Anon really tight and accidentally brushing each other's teats
>Anon takes the lead, demonstrating foreplay techniques while the one not getting pleasured is watching and commiting it to memory
>Rainbow Dash accidentally yells Applejack's name as she climaxes in 20 minutes, curvaceous
I love how easily we can make everything better in here.
Or worse, in some cases.
Off-brand, or the good stuff?
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kek id read it
Has anyone combined heart eyes and magic absorbing Anon, yet?
Like Anon is having sex with his waifu or something and suddenly she gasps at seeing him get heart eyes at her.
>Friendship is magic
>everytime Anon has sex with a mare he's sucking a little bit of her friendship out
>heart eyes are a symptom of his friendship levels getting blitzed
>overtime all her friends think she's shacked up with some psycho bastard of a coltfriend as she stops spending time with them
>they try to stage an intervention, but find Anon extremely helpful, friendly, and literally glowing with excess magic
This is basically how it works in real life too.
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Extreme sexual dimorphism is for wimps.
Predatory hybrids are where it's at.

>Be Sunset
>You start streaming Shadow of Equestria
>Anon is interested so he starts playing
>He keeps shaming his enemies until they turn deranged
>Sends his uruk captains to kill his own blood brothers
>Starts killing the uruks he recruited for fun
>instead of killing uruks he grabs them then throw them of ledge while chuckling
>Only uses brutal stealth kills
>"You shamed me! Me! I hate being shamed! The other uruks won't stop making fun of me. Why didn't you just kill me instead. I HATE YOU!"
>You see the uruk in the game cry and begging for death
>Anon is laughing out loud, especially when the uruk finally goes deranged
>"Hey Sunset this game is pretty fun.”
"Ha ha yeah..."
>The chat is also creeped out
>tfw ywn commit war crimes on stream for your waifu

>Anon tries out Crusader Queens 2
>Anon starts committing crimes against humanity when sunset lets him played
>tfw he's banned from playing the game ever again after saying "Hey Sunset should I rape the 8 years to get an heir or just strangle him to death?"

>every strategy game anon play
>he always goes the most efficient way
>ie the genocide route
>the chat is already commenting it's a good thing sunny has already tamed the mini-nightmare moon
>that is until they see him play RPGs like WITCHES 3
>he almost never takes even the slightly mean lines
>he'd take sarcastic if its funny
>the chat now thinks sunset plunged her vag in crazy
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How would Epona's father Fulvius Stellus, a proud Roman, fare in the RGRE?
Any green with Anon as one of the few males in a STEM class, surrounded by autists and betas?
Why the fuck would you censor a statue? What is this modern puritanical hell we have been thrown into?
>modern puritanical hell
Wasn't the West like that since forever?
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>A rigger comes through the tear above the school
>He fell, and hospitalized for 19 days
>He woke up, to see (and find) that he no longer lives in a world of grim events taking
>Instead, an vibrant town behind his eyes
"Miss...I would like a cup of coffee, if you would?" He firmly said, as he gulp his water

>No matter, he wants to return to his original realm
>He has a team to depend on after all, on the other side of it
>He just needs to find that beautiful 'Twilight' was her name, to assist him back
You should see when i play fallout 3... I went a little overboard with the slavers in paradise falls, and tenpenny tower, a lot of mini nukes went off that day
I've always thought a streamer Anon separate from Sunset could be fun.

>Anon is a gamer guy who pulls in the big bucks for wearing tight muscle shirts as he over reacts to not-so scary games.
>At least, that's what people usually think when they first see him.
>From the outside, he looks like an E-thot, but his viewers always come to his defense.
>Besides actually being good at games, he makes a genuine effort to not only interact with his chat, but remember names and build a real rapport with them.
>He's even on more than one occasion talked through a viewer's problems with them while simultaneously kicking ass at a game.
>Even a lot of the money he gets is often put back into the gaming community as a whole.
>He's donated to help tournaments, conventions, and even some crowdfunding for games he and his chat agreed looked promising.
>People say they're simping over him, but Anon's viewers genuinely see him like an older brother or almost paternal figure.
>Him being sexy reels them in, but they stay for the soothing baritones, fatherly advice, and yes, occasional screech at an obvious jump scare.
>It's endearing when he does it.
>One day while streaming, Anon notices a familiar name pop up and immediately greets them.
"Yo! It's Aria! Long time no see! Where've you been, girl?"
>The reply is quick.
>"Busy. Sisters and I tried to pull something big off."
"Yeah? Start up business or something?"
>"Or something. Didn't work out."
"Sorry to hear that. Hope you're doing okay."
>Others chime in with similar comments as Anon keeps one eye on the chat and the other on the giant monster he's slaying.
>"Fine for now. We screwed up pretty big though. Money's going to be tight."
"Shit. Definitely don't donate anything then. You know you don't need to to be welcome here."
>"But I won't be around for a while."
>"Can't afford the internet bill."
>"Or rent. We're looking for a new place."
>Anon pauses the game at this.
"Aria, you do have a place to stay, right?"
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>Sunset thought introducing Anon to Equestria Land Tycoon might do him do
>Surely nothing bad can come off a theme park management game, right?
>"Oh, what's that? You thought the ride's finally over?
>Oh how wrong she was...
>chat tries to get anon to play the most innocent games they could find
>to try and see if could find a way to corrupt it
Wholesome Gamer Anon. More!
I wonder if there are E-Thots that try to drag Anons name into the dirt.
I love this idea, and the thing with the chat is so cute.
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thirsty pie is best pie
>This has to be bad on purpose.
I don't think so. Check out the rest of that pastebin account - all of this author's stuff is like that.

>I had memory holed a massive, convoluted, and retarded war plot
I think it was originally a one-shot, consisting of just the massive chapter-one expo dump about DJ's backstory. So you might have seen it before the 500,000 words of shitty warfic were added.
I need this.
Except that the time we see her in a leadership role (Foal Free Press) she's shown as very competent and is able to turn the paper around even before Gabby Gums articles boosted popularity.
Not a great signal to noise ratio on that list, but there are admittedly about 4 or 5 good stories on there.
>big brass clit
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based and kill em all pilled
>Not a great signal to noise ratio on that list
Really? What's on the list that you think is bad? I've read about half the stories on there and I'd say all but a few were quite good.
Same, but I only found a few of them to be good. The rest were just meh.
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Hey, good shit.
Thanks but no thanks, I don't want to risk my life for Israel just so I can vote.
Well obviously we need a good old purge at home before we can implement a system like that.
>muh pol

>implying a system like that wouldn't slaughter a bunch of useless sacred cows
>The jews still have majority shares of your mind despite living on a literal reservation area
Do retards really...?
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Okay, I think I can promise more BJ, Pip, Moonie, Bon Bon, and Anon tonight.

Had to take some time over the weekend to come up with something extra interesting.
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>You weren't ready for an earth pony mare the first time one led you to her bedroom
>Plump, muscular, sweet, soft
>You hadn't been able to keep your hands off her, and when you were fucking you realized something else
>Unlike unicorns and pegasi, earth ponies have complete vaginal control
>You mean, they could tie a knot in a cherry stem with their pussies
>It wasn't just the best sex that you ever had, it was addictive
>When that mare asked you to finally marry her, you said yes

>Be farm hoers
>Have a bit of a problem
>Your hyoo-man husband was insatiable in bed
>The colt couldn't keep his hands off you once you both were in the sack
>This was great
>You were a hot-blooded mare, and you loved yourself a roll in the hay
>The issue was that it was getting harder to fuck Anon through the bed
>You might have been a hot-blooded mare, you had your responsibilities to the farm, and if you were too worn out to do anything that'd be bad
>So you brought in Carrot Top
>She was a sweet gal, and Anon really like that country twang of hers
>Months passed, and everything was fine and dandy, but then it started getting harder to fuck him silly again
>So, you and Carrot talked it out, and you went ahead and brought in Redheart
>You loved yourself a veteran, and her being a nurse meant she could help out with any injuries on the farm
>The three of you were able to contain your husband's lust
>For a bit
>Now you were thinking of adding a unicorn to your herd, so she'd be able to use her magic to keep your stamina up
>Hopefully that would sort things out for a few years, at least until you had foals
>Foals always calmed stallions down
>You were Applejack
>The luckiest mare in the world
>And your husband was the biggest horndog in Equestria
>look, the AI is trash at making settlements/planets anyway, you'll have to rip everything down anyway, so might as well start over.
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RGRE pegasus gf
No. But I am envisioning anon’s here replicating the training mishap from the movie. I would not trust these spergs with military grade space weapons.
>he doesn't trust his fellow horsefucker to have his back
>Anon is pretty sure his "fellow horsefucker" would whop him over the head for the chance at horse pussy.
>He ain't even into that is what confuses the fuck out of him.
Anon playing overlord... I love it.
>ponies in human poses
absolutely disgusting, Faust is rolling in her grave

>Anon somehow managed to get a copy of Fallout: New (las)Pegasus
>Shimmer makes him play it on stream
>most viewers thing he's gonna go the legion route.

>"Anonymous, dear, get your fanny over here."
>"Get under this umbrella."
>"I know you men have delicate skin, and I would hate to see you get burned."
>"It is rather warm outside. Would you like a drink? I have plenty in the cooler."
>"You look wonderful by the way. That swim suit really does hug all the right things..."
>"Would you mind if I took this top off for a few minutes?"
>"The heat is starting to get to me. Cooling the girls off will make me feel so much better."
>"Oh thank you dear. You truly are a gem."
>"Applying some ice to my breasts will cool me down I'd wager."

>Ten minutes later, Anon and Rarity are kicked off the beach for public lewdness
>It got far lewder when they went back to the hotel
>Rainbow was in for a rude awakening when she came back to the room that evening
>>Rainbow was in for a rude awakening when she came back to the room that evening
>"God damnit, you gals! You couldn't have kept it to your own bed?! Christ, I can smell you on my sheets! I'll go sleep in the bathtub tonight... AGAIN."
I'm guessing he kills the ai pony and take over las Pegasus
That's just rude.
They should invite Dash to join in.
>when I play FNV
I like thing.
Eqg rainbow dash is only for cucking
Always bully the titlets.
You know what, time to get the big guns, lets play Spec Ops: The Line
It dont call itself the warcrimes game for nothing
>rolling in her grave
Do you know something we don't, anon?
>linear story-driven shooter with the core message of "war is bad".
If you want to bring out the psychopathic tendencies in someone, give them control over people. Give him Prison Simulator and watch him turn it into Auschwitz, or better yet, give him the greatest war crime simulator ever created: Rimworld.
oh god, Rimworld... with mods is the best. How would sunset and the chat react to Anon with mods such bad hygiene, dead body organ harvest, and some science mods.
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Oh, you mean the organ harvesting simulator?
I had to grab several mods to really sate my need to sell stomachs and eyes to replace all my colonists' body parts with superior augments.
I'd keep their brains in jars and turn them into cyborgs if I could.
>I'd keep their brains in jars and turn them into cyborgs if I could.
Isn't there a mod that's basically the same thing?
Man, I should play more Rimworld...
And RimJobWorld really ties it all together

>"Hey sunset! I found this cool game called rimworld!"
>Chat: organharvestingfarm.mp4
>In Marelet Fortress Anon spends most of the game trying to figure how to make the unicorns harvest Siren skin for clothing, despite that being against the unicorn's preset ethics.
Dwarf Fortress.
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Have him build the villager trading in minecraft
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>yfw your husbando anon will never be real
>Someponies seek consolation where they can find it
>Celestia, crowded on all sides by her subjects yet so lonely, found it in the comfort of a simple dream
>A fantasy life, spent with one of the mythical Clever Apes
>It had been something to amuse her in the idle moments, speculating on a race that if it had ever existed had vanished long before the elder alicorns had departed from Mt Canterlot
>Anonymous, she had named it on a lark, and made it a him to reflect the mixed-about nature some of the funnier myths had described
>Dashing, stoic, whimsical, he had been all but her best friend
>and more when the stallions started seeming too coltish for her
>of course, it was something she never talked with anypony about, nopony would ever know about what she had been nourishing in her daydreams for all these centuries
>until Luna came back
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This but Anon.
Next thread when?
Wrong thread, bud
Went from "Early Thread Guy" to "Real Late Thread Guy"
Ah, sorry. I mean "This but Anon AND RGRE."

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