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Previous thread: >>36132188

GoogleDoc Pastebin Archive: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1gf8UOWR5eIfp8FqpAWt3EUrSCCocOWazrZlMiTJwAYs

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denying first for anypony lol
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second for best princess
Let's try to keep this thread less shit
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I claim this thread for Vampire Hootershy.
>Not using the tiny edit
What are you doing? Smdh
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I tried, but it wouldn't let me use it as the OP.
Oh wow, that's legitimately disappointing to hear. I take back the smdh then.
>no hooves
>no horse pussy
baka anon
hmm... how would vampire pussy compare to horse pussy?
Inferior in every way, unless it's vampire horse pussy
It probably wouldn't be any different from regular pussy honestly. Well besides the presence of vagina dentata.
>vagina dentata
What a wild movie.
Cold. Loose.
i guess i should thank you for making no nut november easier, because that post is anti-boner fuel
Indeed, but I feel like the world is better for it. Or at least funnier.
Cold, dry

Vampire pussy is dead pussy
Beats the alternative in a dead pussy, you can always add astroglide, but hard to mop up leaking rot juices to an acceptable level.
>Anon is a live-in babysitter for some stuck up noble in Canterlot
> Upper Lip isn't the nicest of mares, and her hooves may wander from time to time, but the pay is good
> One night, a burglar slips into Anon's room, hiding from the guards patrolling the manor
> Quite frankly, Anon is quite willing to be seduced into keeping quiet
> For her part, Safe Crack is considering breaking in more regularly
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>something something anon finds out what ponies mean when they say he's got foal chasing legs
>Is a bit flattered but doesn't really know how to respond, so he gives a few of his "admirers" a picture of a horse he had because fuck you this shit won't work without it
>What anon doesn't know is that earth-horses are like the pone equivalent of a strange uncanny-valley monster with massive fucking hip bones jutting out of their forms, barely covered with skin and only the most basic similarity to humans, their eyes vacant and lacking any intelligence
>The mare immediately goes wide eyes, runs out of the house, and swears off her once favorite fetish for life
>Anon shows the heathen ponies the light of Islam
>creates a verdant empire that lasts 1000 years under shaw Celestia
>all because some stallion told him he was ugly
>now you've got to wear a burka, bitch! Who's laughing now!?
>Griffons create a Nation Of Islam esque spin off
So like 80% of the stories in these threads then.
Nah, we've got our share of barbie days, but I wouldn't say they're a majority.

Otoh, some bitches get so triggered by the idea of barbiefags they think pone stories are barbie stories even when the stories are explicitly pone.
Confirmation bias more
Someone once responded to a "there's 1 pone post for every 100 barbie posts" retards by going through the thread and counting each post that mentioned ponies or eqg. He found out that the vast majority (90%+) were pony posts and we all realized that these tards are just upset that eqg is being mentioned at all.
And how long ago did that happen?
I dunno, a number of months. Someone could count again, maybe do it over 5 threads and average it out.
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Why the trip?
I was 15,000 words into posting a pone story and then someone told me they don't read barbiefag stories. Cntl+f showed me that hooves, pony, or forelegs appeared about 50 times in the preceding 15,000 words, never mind Mare, Stallion, Filly, Colt, or Foal, which were also all over the place.
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A kobold is fine too
I think that might not be biologically true, right?
Pretty sure some zoologist Anons pointed out that it doesn't mater if their are few males, females are still more important as they have the wombs. You only need one male of the species and they can impregnate dozens, if not hundreds of females, but it's still up to the females to grow and birth those offspring.
If anything, I wouldn't be surprised if skewed gender roles just made females think males were marked by their creators as less needed and just treat them as sperm banks.
I think Poners would see IRL horses like we see chimps and gorillas.
Not an uncanny valley monster, but as funny looking vaguely similar animals.
If the ratio is 1:4 or even 1:8, that's probably the case. If ponies have a heat instead of being perpetually fertile like humans, it'll break down as female reproductive success declines due to opportunity as ratios climb past 1:12 or so. Human fertility patterns (monthly ovulation as long as body fat stays above a threshold percentage) work past 1:20.
We need more mares being embarrassed by their parents lame jokes and oversharing about their love life.
Meanwhile Anon is being pulled aside by his FIL, and learns things he did not want to know.
I think its more that we seem to have floods of >nohooves content being posted all at once rather than it being posted regularly, so it seems like a larger amount than it actually is.
I'm of the camp that dislikes it and i feel we've had less lately, for what its worth.
who said equestria girls don't have horse pussy?
I think it's also has to do with the kind of content >nohooves is. Since the world is just Earth, there's a lot less worldbuilding to do. As such, stories and discussion usually is more character focused than society focused. Character studies are better suited for short bursts of a lot of discussion, while more general worldbuilding is often more drawn out
There's still optimization but I personally prefer psychological instead of physical evolutionary traits to be the reason females are dominant.
We're essentially building the race whole-cloth so we can define whatever we want to be crucial to its evolutionary success either way. Story-by-story thing.
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Kobolds lame because they would not stop annoying "WE WUZ DRAGONZ AND SHIT!!11" talk.
The only thing that can shut them up is a bat to the noggin.
Cutebolds are umu tier garbage. Actual, lore-friendly kobolds are okay tho.
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>>pink blur hands me a box of cupcakes and says "You should have wrote more detail Anon!" before running off again.
>>i dont remember sending her any letters recently, but cupcakes are cupcakes.

>Be Anon
>Be a writer on Earth
>Well, maybe "writer" is a bit generous
>That implies you've published what you've written, or at least that the quality of your writing is such that you can affix the title "writer" to yourself
>If you play in sandboxes and build sand castles, you can't very well call yourself an architect or a construction worker, can you?
>Point is, you write short stories for the internet
>Anyway, something's always been wrong with your writing.
>Weird lines would always crop up after you finished writing something.
>It would be fine while you were writing it, but upon review there would be a few lines in there that you didn't remember writing.
>Pieces of dialogue that were non-sequiturs, and referenced something that wasn't happening in the story
>Extra pieces of description that seemed weirdly focused on one aspect of the scene you were describing
>You had always chocked it up to sleep deprivation and a wandering mind, since the alternative options were A) that magical aliens were fucking with your shitty smut, or B) that you were insane
>Then, you arrived in Equestria at met a pink horse
>A certain pink horse that kept commenting not on things that were happening at the time, but things you had written about in the past
>Lines which had appeared such as, "You need to let the cupcakes cool before icing them" suddenly make sense during a cooking lesson with Pinkie Pie
>Or "you've got legs that could chase for days", which had stuck out to you considering that you were writing about someone taking a bus home at the time
>You have no godly idea what's going on, and all of her friend's just shrug and say "that's Pinkie Pie" when you ask
>Just what the hell is she?
>At least now you know where "Something something RGRE" came from
This is correct if you're dealing with sapients.
Wombs are only more valuable from a raw strategic point of view.
That becomes untrue to various degrees based on the situation. If the species is (or rather, WAS, because it will be forced to change) monogamous, then the females aren't going to like to share but they'll be forced to share, go without for life, or go full Sapphic.

On the other hand:
If (as RGRE's early years established as the baseline) the species is polyamorous and can sustain a loving relationship between all members of a group, then the females will be willing to share, but realistically forming such intimate relationships takes an extreme amount of time. At best, the group couldn't be larger than about 5 (4 females 1 male) and retain that critical level of familiarity and intimate knowledge.

RGRE was formed based off the assumption that the first 2 seasons of the show were accurately depicting the birth rate by the number of females to males (approximately 8:1 f:min the show) with screen time in a given area.
Even among the second group, an 8:1 ratio is too wide a divide for a healthy polyamorous relationship to even be theoretically possible on such a large scale.

All that boils down to a simple fact:
Regardless of the circumstance, wombs becomes FAR less valuable than sperm producers to any functional society of intelligent beings (without getting into "what if they're asexual or have more than two biological sexes" star trek territory).

In such a society, having females take the role of the aggressive/defensive/disposable gender becomes the best option.
Especially because in a group family unit, you can space the pregnancies out so that at least two of the females are always without child and in fighting condition to defend the family.
If you want humans then you deal with human faults, dont make a weird chimara.
but you take the best part of humans, breasts that look attractive, with the superior ponut and horse pussy, and you create the ultimate creature literally built for sex.
But do they have pone personalities? There's another reason why mares are superior.
why wouldn't they?
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>assuming Ayyylmao technicolor horsegirls are human.
You're very shallow.

Because they're humans and live in a human world devoid of it's own magic.
What magic does exist in it has been brought over from equestria.

If you're going that far then i declare they've no sex parts at all and reproduce by hugging very hard.
They act and look like humans on present day earth in every way except the skin colour.
Saying "Actually they have horse pussy." when someone points out their inherent flaw is very childish.
>Because they're humans and live in a human world devoid of it's own magic.
Know a lot of technicolor humans, do you?
>Responding to it
You're very stupid.
Literally Power Shy
>Love is a potent form of energy in Equestria, calorically expensive to produce
>All life depends on it to some extent
>A pony requires a large dose of love delivered directly to the egg to kickstart fertilization, after which the mare's body begins producing it
>It can take several weeks for a stallion to build up enough love to fertilize an egg
>Changelings rarely impersonate stallions, despite being easier to gain affection, because mares don't store love
>Factor in the estrus cycle and a stallion can, at best, impregnate two females per year

With a gender ratio of 4:1, mares would be less expendable than human men, but it would still lead to gender roles where mares have to be the adventurous ones, take risks in order to climb the status hierarchy in order to have a shot at reproducing.
>Love is stored in the balls.
Eqgverse as a virtual magical realm is the best reality and y'all know it.
Starswirl created it a la the ages in Myst to be a reflection of two worlds.
It's RGR because he set gamerule genderRoles normal at creation.
I've met one or two, but they mostly just screeched about patriarchy and fart-rape.
dangerhairs =/= technicolor humans
>>Factor in the estrus cycle and a stallion can, at best, impregnate two females per year
A Estrus cycles could be artificially/magically desync'd just by altering the environment they spend most of their in.
If not by direct magical means, then by using magic to alter factors like temperature, pollen count, humidity/rain. All could be easily used to trick each mare's body to desync from each other by even just a few days. That would allow the male to be able to impregnate at LEAST one a day, every day of the week for an entire month.

You're reaching pretty far to handwave that into a general who was created specifically FOR what you're actively trying to negate.

If RGR isn't for you, then the RGRE thread probably isn't the right thread to be posting this on.
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What about literal dyed-skins?
They ARE technicolor, and the are -okay, they MIGHT be- humans.

Not that Anon. 3 or 4 females to a male is the ideal herd size in my mind. Especially for the last reason(s) you mention.
>Factor in the estrus cycle and a stallion can, at best, impregnate two females per year
Imo ponies evolving to have a wider intimate social bubble than humans is strictly more likely than making the female sex the "expendable" portion of society, even at 1:8 live birth ratio.

But Equestria isn't a natural world and ponies likely didn't evolve in the traditional macroevolutionary sense. It's all created/designed.
>repeat to yourself its just a thread,
I should really just relax...For Reversed Gender Roles in Equestria~
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“Anon, sweetie, thanks again for agreeing to this. Really, it’ll mean the world to Lyra.”
>Two figures made their way through Ponyville’s market. One was Bonbon, resident candy horse and secret agent. She was trying to appear nonchalant, eyeing any pony that happened to get too close. If a mare or stallion did, she visibly tensed up. The other figure was Equestria’s only human Anonymous. He walked beside the cream-colored earth pony at a leisurely pace. Unlike Bonbon, he didn’t look like he was a hairsbreadth from having a nervous breakdown. He did look confused however.
>“Hey, you know me. I have no problem with being the degenerate that this town needs,” Anon said. “The thing I still don’t get is how that wife of yours talked you into this.”
“”Why are you asking this now?”
>“Why not?”
Bonbon sighed. “I, uh… it’s pretty dumb honestly.”
>“I don’t doubt it, what with Lyra being involved and all.”
The candy mare swatted his side. “Don’t you bad talk my wife there, buster brown.”
>Anon grinned. “Easy there, colt beater. A guard might see.”
“Oh, I’ll beat you alright if you keep it up, mister,” Bonbon replied, waving a hoof at him.
>The human chuckled. “Seriously though, before we get anything started I’d really like to know.”
Bonbon’s muzzle scrunched. “When we had just started dating in college she told me about her human fascination. One night, after a couple of bottles of wine, she made me promise some... things. What we’re doing today is one of them.”
>“She got you to promise something while intoxicated? I didn’t know ol’ Lyroo had it in her.”
There's no way to reconcile females being the less valuable gender with evolutionary theory with a lot of stretching. Sperm has to be more valuable than 11 months of investment.
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“If I was sober I’d still have agreed. Lyra can make a face that’s just so darn hard to say no to.” She sighed again, a small smile coming to her face. “You know, another one of those promises was that when--not if, when-- we got married we had to invite the princesses. That one wasn’t out of the realm of possibility, Lyra went to Celestia’s school, and she’s friends with Twilight, but you; I never thought a human would just appear like you did.”
>“To be fair, I didn’t think I’d appear here either, but what can you do?”
>Anon slowed to a stop. Bonbon continued a few steps, stopping when she realized he was no longer beside her. She turned to look at him.
>“You know, you don’t have to do this, right?” he said.
Bonbon frowned. “Do you expect me to go back on my word?”
>In two steps, Anon closed the distance between them, leaning down so that he was eye level with her.
>“I think you’re being a stubborn ass earth pony about this.”
“Stubborn? I’m not being stubborn!”
>“You are, and I don’t think this is gonna go how you think it is.”
The earth pony snorted. “What, do you think my entire life is going to change just because I--” She lowered her voice so just they would be able to hear. “--[i]fucked[/i] you?”
>“What I think is that you’re underestimating just how weird that wife of yours is going to make this,” Anon replied.
>Bonbon opened her mouth, just about to argue with him. A mixture of emotions flashed across her face, and she stomped a hoof.
“Why weren’t you hesitant when I was at your house talking to you about this?” she demanded. “Why get cold hooves when we’re almost there? After we discussed this for [i]two weeks[/i]?”
>“I’m not getting cold anything. I'm not some moody stallion,” Anon said with a shake of his head. “Like I said, I’d be all for it. I’d have no problem taking that candy butt of yours to pound town.”
“[i]Lower your voice please[/i].”
>“You know me. I’ll fool around with anyone anywhere, and I might do anything. Hell, you’re not even the first married couple that’s asked me to spice up the bedroom. The issue is you, Bonnie.”
“Me? Why in Celestia’s name am I the issue?!”
>The human let out a sigh. “I’ll be honest with you, Bonbon, I’m a pretty sick individual. I got fantasies and desires that should put me in Tartarus. You know what my biggest kink is though? What really tickles my pickle?”
>He leaned forward, so that their noses were almost touching.
>“It’s [i]consent[/i], Bonnie. If I’m gonna fool around, I wanna know everyone is gonna have a good time, and I don’t know if you will. I’d like you to, but fooling around with me isn’t the same as what you and Lyra get up to in your bedroom.”
“I’ve been with a stallion or two before Lyra Anon, it’s--”
>“Trust me, it’s not me having a dick that is the problem. I’m not a pony; I won’t just mount you. I’ll be grabbing you, touching you, I’ll want to put you in different positions. Kissing is going to be different, with no muzzle and my teeth. Everything you do with me is either going to be just a bit off or completely different.”
>Anon leaned back onto his heels.
>“This takes thought, trust, and a desire to actually do it. I’ve actually had a mare go into a full-fledged panic attack while we were in the bedroom, and that sort of thing can ruin a night. Usually, I wouldn’t give a shit. If someone wants to fuck me I’m going with no questions asked, but since you’re my buddy, and not some random mare I figured I’d check to see if you just want to make Lyra happy or you’re actually interested.”
>Bonbon stared at the human, a look of bewilderment and surprise on her face. Anon just stared back, eyebrow raised. A few ponies around the market stopped what they were doing to glance over at the two, wondering just what the heck they were doing.
Despite herself, the earth pony let out a giggle. “I'm the one that's supposed to be having this kind of conversation with you, not the other way around,” she said, booping his nose. “You weird colt.”
>“Don't tell anyone, but I can't cook either,” Anon said, sticking his tongue out. “And don't get me started on keeping a house clean.”
>Bonbon giggled again, smiling. She had admittedly been a bit nervous about propositioning the human, but now she felt a whole lot better; more in control even.
“I’ll tell you what,” she said with a little bounce. “Why don’t you come to the house? Lyra’s been excited all day since I told her I’d ask you this morning. We can have dinner, get some drinks, and I can show you just how interested I am.”
>She gave him a wink. Turning around, she smacked his face with her tail before making her way down the street. A second or two later Anon was once again walking beside her.
“She won’t you know,” she said.
>“Hmm?” Anon replied, looking down at her.
“Lyra; she won’t make this weird.”
>“That’s a goddamn lie.”
Bonbon’s smile diminished, and her shoulders sagged. “I really hope not…”
>The walk to Bonbon’s house was a quick one after that. In just a few minutes they were walking up the front porch. Bonbon stared at her front door, a wave of trepidation hitting her. She beat it down with a shake of her head. She quietly prayed to anypony that would listen that Lyra would actually behave herself.
>She’d [i]have[/i] to right? Her wife had her moments, but even she knew when something was too much. Sure, she had loved humans since before she had gotten her cutiemark, and the way she spoke about, spoke with, and looked at Anon could be a bit worrying at times, but Lyra was an adult. They had been talking about this for days. She would give the situation her utmost respect. For Celestia's sake, how many mares could say that they talked a colt into a threeway?!
>Dryly swallowing, Bonbon opened the door, nearly jumping out of her fur when she saw Lyra standing on the other side. Her wife had a box of thin mints resting on her back, and it looked as if she had shoved a dozen cookies into her mouth.
>Lyra, seeing her, gave her a cookie-filled smile. “Hi honsh!” she said, spitting thin mints all over her nice clean floor.
The unicorn noisily chewed her cookies and swallowed as Bonbon covered her face with a hoof. “Lyra…”
>“What? I was hungry!” Lyra said, wiping the crumbs off her lips with a hoof. “You told me to wait for dinner, and I haven’t eaten since--”
>She seemed to finally notice Anon standing behind her wife. Her eyes widened, a look of utter delight coming to her face.
>With a mighty leap, Lyra launched herself over Bonbon toward the human. Bonbon had to dive to catch the box of cookies as they fell. Turning around, she saw Lyra had attached herself to Anon’s chest, all four legs wrapped around him in a tight hug.
>“Ohmygosh, I didn’t actually think that you’d agree to come! I’m [i]so[/i] excited! This might be the second or third best day of my life!” the unicorn said with a happy squeal, rubbing her muzzle against his throat.
>Anon stared down at the happy mare. He then looked over at Bonbon, eyebrow raised. The earth pony felt herself blushing. Frowning, she stamped her hoof.
“Lyra! Get off him!”
>Lyra giggled. “Oh, he’ll get off alright.”
>Bonbon groaned, face hoofing.
>“Come on, Harp Butt. Get off me,” Anon said, peeling the mare off him and setting her down next to her wife, where she began to trot in place excitedly. “If you keep this up you’re gonna give Bonbon an ulcer.”
>Lyra stopped, looking at her wife. Bonbon saw the gears churning in her head. Her smile became less Pinkie-like, but far more affectionate as she pressed herself against the candy mare. Bonbon rolled her eyes giving her a nuzzle.
>“I love you,” Lyra whispered.
“You better,” Bonbon whispered back. “Now why don’t you invite Anon in before the sun goes down?”
>Giving her a kiss on the cheek, Lyra once again turned her attention toward the human. “Anon? Would you like to come inside?”
>Anon snorted, coughing into a hand. Bonbon frowned.
“Just get your flank inside,” she said, pointing into her house while she shook her head. “Sweet Celestia, both of you are [i]children[/i].”


>The evening went pretty well all things considered. Lyra had wanted pizza for dinner, but Bonbon instead whipped them up a nice, filling dinner. Nothing special, just some salad and soup. She made herself and Lyra Alfalfa soup. Anon’s meal was a bit trickier, as half the things she usually made were outright poisonous to him, but after some back and forth it was decided that he’d get carrot soup.
>After their bellies were full, they sat in the living room and turned on a movie. The movie itself didn’t matter. What mattered was that the three were in close contact. Bonbon didn’t want the human to get cold hooves, and she couldn’t think of a better way to convey her interests than a bit of close contact and fooling around. Thankfully, Lyra quickly realized her intentions and ran with it.
>Both mares had themselves pressed up against his sides the entire movie. They nuzzled, nibbled, and licked. Anon seemed to enjoy the affection, wrapping his arms around them. Halfway through the movie, those hands of his began to wander. Lyra took to the touching with enthusiasm. Bonbon took a bit longer to warm up to it.
>Sure, he had touched her before, but never like this. The feeling of his fingertips brushing against her cutiemark was so strange that she almost didn’t know what to do with herself. It wasn’t just that either. The way he kissed, the way his canines dug into her coat as he gently bit her, even his [i]smell[/i]. Anon had been right; he most certainly wasn’t a stallion. It was different, new, and, admittedly, exciting.
>Boops turned into pets, then belly rubs. Belly rubs went lower and lower and flanks were squeezed. When Bonbon got up to get something to drink, she was spanked, which had her flagging her tail like some filly in heat. She got back at him by hopping into his lap once she got back. Feeling his stallionhood twitching against her rump had her giggling.
>By the time the credits rolled, everyone seemed thoroughly in the mood. Lyra had excused herself, saying that she needed to go to their bedroom to “get things ready”, leaving the earth pony and the human alone.
>Bonbon was still in lap, though now she was face-to-face with him, her hooves on his shoulders as she wiggled and grinded her flank against him. To her delight, Anon was red-faced and flustered, a far off look in his eye as played with her teats.
“So… about me not being interested~” she cooed, nuzzling his face.
>Anon let out a breathless laugh. “I guess you showed me, huh?”
Bonbon leaned forward to gently bite his nose. “If you’re really good, I might show you some other things,” she said with a smile. “If Lyra doesn’t hog you all night that is.”
>“Oh, I’m sure I’ll make some time for you tonight.”
“We’ll see. You might talk big now, but I have a feeling when this is all over you’ll be the one walking funny tomorrow.”
>“I guess we will see,” Anon said, giving her flank a squeeze. “So, any preferences?”
Leaning back, Bonbon hummed. “If you’d like to continue to use those hands of yours when we’re in the bedroom that would be dandy. I also really like having my mane and tail pulled.”
>“Will do. Also, fair warning, I don’t flare or knot when I cum, so you’re not gonna have much warning other than me saying so.”
“Good. I can’t stand flaring,” Bonbon said, legs twitching as a fingertip brushed against her sex. “It always felt like I was going to pop when a colt was about to cum. Anything else I should know about?”
>“I was already clear about the different positions thing, right?”
“Very clear. Just don’t try to bend me like a pretzel and we’ll be fine.”
>“Gotcha. Now, serious question. What’s the over under on you letting me put it up your butt--”
>“Alright, I’m all ready!”
>Both Bonbon and Anon turned. What Bonbon saw made her forget all about the mood, the dick sandwiched between her cheeks, and the building heat between her legs. There, standing not three feet away, looking as pleased as punch with herself, was Lyra. The unicorn was dressed in a tight-fitting Supermare outfit, complete with a cape. She had even styled her mane like the hero.
>For what felt like an eternity, the three just looked at each other. Anon, not taking his eyes off the mare, leaned toward Bonbon’s ear.
>“What the fuuuuuuck is that?” he whispered.
>Reflexively, Bonbon shushed him as Lyra placed hoof against her chest, all smiles. “How do I look?” she asked.
“...Like you’re ready to go out trick or treating for Nightmare Night, honey,” Bonbon said. “Why in Celestia’s name are you wearing that?”
>“Oh, Nightmare Night? I was thinking of going as a fish bowl this year actually, but if you really think it looks good I can go as this instead, Bonnie,” Lyra said, looking down at herself. “We can talk about that later though. Come on, let's go to the bedroom!”
>With a flick of her cape, Lyra trotted toward the stairs. Anon and Bonbon didn’t follow her of course, both still trying to process just what they had seen. Anon looked down at Bonbon, who continued to stare straight ahead, ears perked up. It took nearly a minute, but she eventually spoke.
“...Now, before we draw any wild conclusions, let's think about this rationally,” she said.
>“Rationally? Really?”
>“Bonnie, she was wearing a [i]costume[/i]. She has a cape on!”
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“Lyra and I like to roleplay sometimes in the bedroom. It’s perfectly normal behavior. I’m sure we discussed it and you and I happened to forget about her wanting to wear that.”
>Anon’s eyes narrowed. Before he could say anything, the earth pony continued.
“She probably just wants to pretend that you’re a monster and I’m the sexy mare that needs saving. She pretends to beat you up, her and I make out, someone ends up sitting on your face. Nothing weird or crazy at all.”
>The human took a deep breath. “You know what? Fine. That might be what Lyra wants to do,” he said.
“That’s probably [i]exactly[/i] what she wants to do,” Bonbon replied with a confident nod.
>“And it’s not gonna be weird.”
“Not even a little.”
>“I don’t know about that. You married the weirdest pony in Equestria. No matter what happens upstairs it’s gonna be weird.”
Bonbon giggled, giving his shoulder a playful shove. “Oh hush up, you worry wort,” she said. “You’re gonna have a great time. Now...” She gave him her best bedroom eyes, licking her lips. “Would you follow me to the bedroom?”
>Anon smiled, giving her rump a smack. “I would love to.”
>With another kiss, Bonbon spun around and hopped off the couch. Stretching like a cat, making sure her rump was in the human’s face as she did so, she made her way toward the stairs. Anon was right behind her. She looked back at him, saw the tent he was pitching in those pants of his, smiled, and put a sway in her step.
>They made it up the steps and into the bedroom. It had been a mess this morning, pillows and knick-knacks everywhere, but it looked like Lyra had cleaned up. The mare in question was standing near the wooden antique wardrobe that they had sitting in the corner of the room, bouncing in place.
>“Okay, great! Now, you two do whatever’s natural,” she said, opening the wardrobe.
“Wait, what? What are you talking about, honey?” Bonbon asked. “What are you doing? Don’t you want to--”
>“Shhh, shhh, shhhhhh. Just pretend that I’m not even here,” Lyra said, stepping into the wardrobe, settling herself between some dresses. “Just have fun, Bonnie.”
>She closed the wardrobe doors, opening them back up just a crack. An excited giggle could be heard.
>Bonbon closed her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she held it for a few seconds, before releasing it. Looking up at the human, she saw that he was trying very hard not to smile.
“I… am very sorry,” she whispered.
>“You think she’s got more superhero outfits in there?” Anon whispered back. “Maybe she’s gonna jump out as Batmare while we’re going at it?”
“Could you please get undressed?” Bonbon asked, smacking his leg.
>He couldn’t hold back a chuckle as he began taking his shirt off. Bonbon shook her head, walking over and hopping onto her bed. She glanced at the wardrobe. Listening carefully, she swore that she could almost hear a noise coming from it. It was faint, but it almost sounded like tapping.
>“Hey, do you got any lube?”
>She looked over at the human to see that he was already in his birthday suit, neatly folded clothes in one hand.
“You got out of those pretty quick,” she said.
>“Years of practice,” he replied. “Now, do you got any lube? Preferably a kind that you can eat that doesn’t taste horrible?”
“In the nightstand over there,” she said, tilting her head to the nightstand by the bed. “Why? Worried that I’m not worked up enough?”
>“I never know with you mares. Sometimes you’re leaking, other times it’s like the Sierra Desert.”
“Must be your personality.”
>Anon walked over toward the nightstand. With each step that he took, his erection bobbed. Bonbon stared at his member. It wasn’t that much different than a stallion’s. The was a funny mushroom shape, and he didn’t look like he had a medial ring, but it didn’t appear like anything
>Anon walked over toward the nightstand. With each step that he took, his erection bobbed. Bonbon stared at his member. It wasn’t that much different than a stallion’s. The was a funny mushroom shape, and he didn’t look like he had a medial ring, but it didn’t appear like anything that she couldn’t handle. She felt relieved; for some reason, she had expected his “equipment” to be completely alien, something with multiple heads or something strange like that.
>Placing his clothes on the nightstand, he pulled out a drawer, peering down at it’s contents. >“Looks like you got a couple in here. Which one do you want me using?”
“Blueberry Bashful. It’s not the best taste, but it doesn’t stay in your mouth for days.”
>Anon grabbed a small blue bottle. Inspecting it, he walked over and climbed onto the bed. Bonbon smiled, reaching up to wrap her hooves around his neck.
“I don’t think you need to worry about that bottle,” she said, giving him bedroom eyes. “I’m wet enough~”
>He chuckled, kissing her. She felt his tongue brush against her lips. She opened her mouth and immediately attacked his wet muscle with her own. His tongue was short and thin; it was almost too easy to overpower him. She smiled around the kiss, a shiver running up the length of her spine as she dragged her tongue across his canines.
>“Oh yeah,” Lyra said, her voice muffled. “You make out with that big, strong predator, hon.”
>Bonbon’s ears perked up as her wife let out a breathless moan. She had to admit, there was something exciting having her partner watching her like this. It was still very weird, and she was definitely going to have some questions after the three of them were done, but having Lyra almost egg her on made her want to go the extra step.
>Growling, she tightened her grip on Anon, deepening the kiss. She lifted her hips up as well, grinding her marehood against his thigh. The human groped her rump with one hand, trying his hardest to kiss her back, while the other hand uncapped the bottle of lube.
>With the sort of coordination that she didn’t expect from the big lug, Anon was able to pour a good amount of the lube onto his stallionhood without getting it all over her bedsheets. That done, he tossed the lube away, breaking their kiss.
>“Lay on your side,” he growled, grabbing her leg and lifting it so he could rest it on his shoulder.
>She did as he asked, her eyes glued to his cock. She watched as he pulled her toward him in one of the strangest positions that she had ever been in. He pressed his cockhead--cool to the touch compared to her own stifling arousal--and stopped, looking up at her.
“Let me know if you need me to stop.”
>Taking a deep breath, he slowly began to push into her. His mushroom head made penetration shockingly easy. Her marehood tightened around him as Bonbon bit her bottom lip.
“Keep going please,” she whispered.
>Anon nodded, placing a hand against her chest. She pushed it toward her side so she could watch inch after inch of his cock disappear into her. When he had finally hilted her, she let out the breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. As he began to pull back, she tried to reach up to grab him for another kiss. Her hooves weren’t quite long enough, so she just pawed at his chest before she fell back onto her mattress.
>He chuckled. “You alright there?”
“You feel… weird,” she admitted, lifting her front legs in an inviting gesture. “A good weird though. Come, give me another kiss.”
>In no time at all, the human began to pick up the pace with his thrust with smooth, even strokes. Bonbon could feel her lower body twitching as his cock hit places where her toys or Lyra couldn’t. It was no doubt because of her position, and sweet Celestia above did it feel good. Throwing her head back, she let out a groan.
>Her marehood tightened around him. Anon let out a grunt, slowing his pace. She could feel him pulsing inside of her. She flexed her inner muscles, trying to force his cock deeper into her. Looking up, she saw that his face was scrunched up in concentration.
“I thought you were supposed to be the one to rock my world,” she teased.
>“Shush,” Anon grunted, pace slowing down to slow, balls-deep thrusts.
>The strange noise that Lyra was making in the closet was getting louder. After listening carefully, Bonbon realized that her wife was clopping. She almost rolled her eyes at her wife’s antics. She blew a kiss her wife’s way, falling onto her back just as Anon was about to thrust again. The human jerked in surprise as his cock, free, smacked his belly.
>Bonbon let out another groan, running her fore legs through her mane. She did her best impression of a harlot on the cover of a dirty magazine, her eyes half-lidded as she bit her lower lip. She must have done a good job, because Anon’s jaw dropped.
“You better quit just sitting there and fuck me,” she said. “Otherwise I’ll take charge and show you just what earth pony stamina can do~”
>“Oh [i]fuck yes[/i],” Lyra said. “You fuck that stud, honey. Spread those legs and present that fat, fertile plot!”
>Placing a hand on either side of Bonbon’s head, Anon leaned down to nibble her neck. “What the fuck is she talking about?”
“Shush. Let's not think about that right now,” Bonbon replied with a “hmmm~”, offering him more of her neck. “Would you like another minute to cool down?”
>“Nah, I’m fine. I wouldn’t mind if you did take the lead for a few minutes though.”
>He pressed his face into her mane, inhaling. Kissing her cheek, he rolled off of her and onto his back. The bed creaked as he splayed himself out, his dick pointing up to the ceiling. Bonbon stared at him, eyebrow raised. He just smiled back at her.
>“Come on, hop on up,” he said, patting his lap. “I’ll make sure you won’t fall over.”
>Bonbon sat up, staring at him. It was a strange position; maybe once or twice she had experimented with Lyra but not for very long. It was usually uncomfortable being on the bottom she had always found, and it was nearly impossible for her to do much more than lie there. Lyra as the bottom had more success, since she could use her magic to move herself, but it had been too much effort.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
>“Of course,” Anon said, digging his heels into the bed. “You might be surprised just how much you like it.”
After a moment’s consideration, the earth pony shrugged. “When in Canterlot, I guess,” she muttered, getting up and climbing over him.
>The human’s hands went to her hips as she positioned herself over him. She let out a sigh as she lowered herself, hilting him in no time at all. Bonbon closed her eyes, grinding her hips into his lap.
>“Does he feel good, baby?” Lyra called.
“Yeah,” Bonbon said, bouncing her rump up and down Anon’s lap a few times. The human hissed, eyes crossing as she let out a giggle. “Are you sure you don’t want to join, sweetie? I think he’s going to cum soon.”
>“Oh Celestia above,” Lyra groaned. “Don’t stop sweetie. Let him fill you up!”
>She blew another kiss toward the wardrobe before returning her attention to the human. Giving him a wink, she leaned forward, resting her hooves on his chest. Anon tried to sit up, but she pushed him back down onto the mattress.
“You stay right there,” she growled. “Keep those hands on my ass. I’m not stopping until you’re shooting [i]blanks[/i]~”
>She didn’t give him time to reply, raising her rump up and slamming back down. A wet, meaty smack filled the air. Anon twitched, the bed creaked, and Lyra let out another moan. Up and down Bonbon went, as fast as she could, her mane flying all around her head. She didn’t want the human to get used to the sensation. She wanted to overwhelm him, wanted to leave him a twitching mess.
>She was so focused on her bouncing, staring at Anon’s face to watch his reaction to every little thing she did, that she didn’t notice him once again digging his heels into the mattress. His hands left her rump, one going to her thigh while the other slowly made its way up her back. He started thrusting in time with her, making her yelp. It felt like he was going deeper inside of her, that cockhead of his hitting new spots, making her head spin.
“Oh Luna above,” she moaned.
>Her bouncing faltered, back arching as the human grabbed a fistful of her mane and pulled, driving her down with more and more force. He was going faster and faster, his hips a blur. A particularly hard thrust made her lose her balance, causing her to fall forward onto his chest. He was on her not a second latter, peppering his face with kisses as he continued to pound into her.
>“Just like that Anon!” Lyra called. “Show her who’s boss! Break her with your cock! Turn her into a human loving slut!”
>Before Bonbon could process what her wife had just said, Anon rolled them both over. He somehow picked up the pace, fucking her like his life depended on it. He was pulsing inside of her again. He was going to cum soon. The thought made her tense up, her marehood tightening around him.
>“Do what I’ll never be able to! Knock her up with a half-human foal!” Lyra yelled, her muzzle pressed against the crack of the door. “Make her yours! Your cute little broodmare! Please!”
>Anon let out a grunt, hilting her, holding her close to keep her from moving. Bonbon let out a gasp as she felt him start to unload inside of her. Legs spasming, her gasp turned into a neigh as she found her own end, soaking the human’s groin as her marehood spasmed.
>Lyra let out a neigh of her own. “Oh fucking luna. I’M SUCH A GOSH DARN [i][b]KEK[/i][/b]!”


>Water pattered onto the shower floor. There, sitting in the spray from the showerhead were Bonbon, Anon, and Lyra. Bonbon sat in the human’s lap, scrubbing the earth pony’s mare, while Lya sat behind him, a pair of golden ethereal hands scrubbing his body. Lyra was humming a little tune to herself, as happy as could be. Anon and Bonbon, meanwhile, were in a state of quiet compilation.
>“Bonbon?” Anon said, keeping his voice low.
“Yeah?” Bonbon replied.
>“Your wife made it weird.”
>Bonbon took a deep breath. She looked over her shoulder to see Lyra lost in her own little world. She turned back around, closing her eyes.
“...Yes. Yes she did.”
The bastard's done it again
Thanks LaP
Dammit mintmare.
Breaking: Lyra Still Little Shid
"Hello, IM speaking, Have you tried turning it off and on again?"
>"The Night Princess is trying to bring about eternal night!"
"Have you tried turning her off and on again?"
"Okay, do you know how to do that?"
>"Um, I don't think so? I don't think I've ever had to do that."
"Alright, on the front of the Night Princess is a face region with eyes and several holes of various sizes. I need you to jab the center of that region sharply with a level of force that would knock something off a table, but not break a normal ceramic coffee mug. That will turn her off."
>"Alright, smack the bitch in the face."
"Yes, that's correct. Once you have done that, get one of the younger stallions in the guard to lay on his side in the Night Princess's field of vision, and have him show her his sheathe and his scrotum - that is his balls."
"If this is successful her clitoris will begin pulsing in and out to indicate she is powered up again; but if that fails to happen within two minutes you should have a second young guard stallion lay next to the first and use his hoof to stimulate the other guardsstallion's sheathe and penis."
"You need to ensure the Night Princess has a clear line of sight to this or it will probably fail, so make sure to keep that in mind."
"The gentle hoof stimulation of the guardsstallion's penis by the other stallion should be continued until at least after the penis extends out from the sheathe one-quarter-hoof-width, for twenty minutes, or when the physical discomfort of either guardsstallion reaches the level of injury or pain."
"After any of these have occured, check if the clitoris of the Night Princess is pulsing in and out. If it is not, try blowing on it as if you were trying to blow dust off a book."
"Have you got all that?"
>"I think so."
"Alright, thank you for calling magic support."
Take my (you), fucker
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Um, I don't think there were any puns in that whole thing though.
It'd only be breaking news if she stopped being one for five minutes. Tartarus would freeze over if ten.
Have somebody ever done a green with two or more anons in RGREquestria?
Any chance for a link?
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Very funny, /v/.
this would be a great RGRE pic.
... actually, yeah it really would, wouldn't it?
"Omae wa mou ninshin"
Someone already made an edit with Sunset and the sirens
>Stallions have to have their love drained on a regular basis
>if they don't their balls clog with congealed love, and they turn bitchy
>Caramel is an unfortunate case where it's gone on so long that it's a self-reinforcing cycle
>He's so pent-up no mare dares help him
>You can't hump him just like that either. According to your friends, you need to treat the stallion with respect (especially if it's somepony of Soarin's renown), arrive groomed from head to toe, show that you're worthy of his time and body (because he can reject you... what?), can't push towards the act with impatience etc. A typical mating dance but applied to these weird equines and their even weirder social rituals
>This vibes like the ultimate form of a "shit test" posed by Equestrian society to test your real mettle; or such "pilled" thing from the board you used to frequent to laugh at hombres
>Blyat x5
>You employ your best dress, fragrance, makeup, jewelry, and attitude for the meeting (an extremely bizarre feeling for you... he's supposed to be a hooker?!)
>You're 30 minutes early. All heated up about not being late, and making sure that you look worthy of his attention 47.8 times before Soarin arrives
>The stallion gracefully descended down from the sky, clothed in a white tunic, with olive wreath in his mane, smelling of fresh green apples and bitter oranges; easily collecting looks and stares from gals in vicinity
>It's all natural in appearance, especially the smile, as if he's not trying to pull the look at all
>Without any warning, the pegasus planted a kiss on your cheek, which is a sign of his initial approval for you
>Your face flushed with rosy colors
>What is happening? This is supposed to be a standard hook up for paid sex, yet you're dazed
>"You're spacing out... mistress." Soarin looked at the human with a sly expression
>You croaked like a toad in response. You know how to handle members of Equestrian "fairer sex" only by proxy and from stories told by your friends. You received a primer, but it's all tangled up in your head now
>"It's, um, Y-Yana." The pathetic utterance reached the stallion somehow, as he nodded
>A very long pause followed, as the Wonderbolt waited for this Yana to actually execute the real deal first move. He's clearly used to mares being dazzled with his presence, patiently flapping the wings and looking for the woman's eyes
>Okay, your buddies produced a pile of gold coins for this! Grab his hoof, buy something to eat, move to your cabin, compliment and talk to him, something like that, and you should fare fine, hopefully
>Unfortunately, in your befuddled state, your grasp took hold of Soarin's silky tail, and as you pulled your way too forcibly, two streaks of it ended in your palm
>The surrounding females of all kinds, that were staring at you, explode in rage, and before you can say "Not RGRE Enough", they are about to tear your head off and you are about to cancel some cutie marked asses
>But Soarin came to your defense, resting the hooves on your shoulder
>"Crystal ponies will have something to make it grow back." He tossed towards the general audience casually, while pulling the human away from the crowd to avoid any post accident confrontation
>You recognize the cue and with him in tow, you beat a hasty retreat to the grilled vegetables stand on the far reach of the town
>*A quick correction to the makeup and disheveled hair*
>Wow, Soarin saved your smooth skinned butt out there, and wasn't scared away by your inexperience... he was all supportive, even in the face of knowing you for only three minutes
>It wasn't the money only, was it?
>Or some type of "always fulfill your mission, pilot" professionalism?
>Now, you feel like having initiative after his favorable reception, if only to reciprocate!
>With several slices of grilled aubergine, you both sit down at the close by bench
>Your left hand gently cups his snout, while the right one delivers a slice to the obediently opened mouth
>He ate it in three bites, looking up at you with curious eyes

[Right. Spoken lines should be standard black.]
Anon, what's the size of your ponies compared to a human?
I thought about 2/3 height of this particular human, with appropriate weight to match the given height.
Not just weird, but sad, sooo sad it hurts. If only...
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The pink horse trots among us
>then i declare they've no sex parts at all and reproduce by hugging very hard.
Go ahead dude. If you can write a story on and/or convince the rest of us to agree then more power to ya
10 outta fuckin 10
>Imo ponies evolving to have a wider intimate social bubble than humans is strictly more likely than making the female sex the "expendable" portion of society, even at 1:8 live birth ratio.

How would that work, exactly?

>The year is 2328 BRS (before Royal Sisters)
>Be primitive Pone
>1 male per 8 female ponies in your tribe
>Limited resources, neighboring yak tribe declares war on your own
>Food supply can only safely sustain your tribe's current number of 2070 (1840 females, 230 males)
>Somewhere in another plane of existence, an idiot asserted that you should still be using males as the disposable fighting force of your species
>Yaks likewise can only sustain a population of little more than 2000
>Yaks send 800 of their strongest to kill your defenders, take your food, and leave you to die in the early years of the approaching harsh winter
>You send only 230 (all your males) to battle the enemy forces instead of sending +1200 mares from your tribe's immense female surplus
The enemy is superior in every way to your egregiously and entirely unnecessarily handicapped fighting force
>Your early species has not developed significant magical powers not a strong enough knowledge base to beat the enemy with inventions or accumulated knowledge regarding military strategy
>The battle must be won with raw muscle
>Your 230 males are no match for the superior Yak forces
>Total extinction for the pony race has become a certainty, because your birth rates demand females be the less-valuable resource than males

With a heavy gender skew, the above is what would happen early on to any species (on Earth in our past, or Equestria in theirs), barring some real "6-year-old's imaginary fight argument" excuses along the lines of:
>"Well I have a gun!"
"Okay, but I have a gun AND a bulletproof vest!"
>"Yeah, well I have bullets that go through bulletproof vests!"
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he back
god dam minthors, you lil shid
The only argument would be that most of not all neighboring species hadn't had contact with them until they had already developed their superior magic.
I'm not sure she's a qualified technician.
>page 9
Dead thread dead board REEEEEE
That was great! I hope they herd up together. That combination has long been a favorite of mine. Especially since Pusspuss's "Lyra's Confession" & "Bon Bon's Acceptance".
Hearty kek. Thanks and good ta see ya ya glorious durnk you.

Kek. I haven't thought of that comic in a long time. Did it ever get completed?

Keep going and it's the spoken lines of the point of view character that should be in black text.
>Did it ever get completed?
Yep and it's worth the read
ya got a sauce fampai
afrobull altered destinies
I don't post often, so I forget to take it off sometimes
as for why I have it, I edit for a couple different writefags and sometimes post my own prompts and oneshots so I just felt like having one so people can tell it's not one of the actual writefags forgetting to use theirs
Loiru seems less than pleased at her predicament.

Just so long as you say the same about waifu-goblins.
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Spending the days tending the town's gardens with the Flower Sisters, and learning how to 'connect' with the land like an earth pony.
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Hey Anon did you know that if you mix your semen in with the soil your crops will grow bigger and hardier
Trust me, I'm an earth pony, we know these things
>"Also, it only works if you mix earth pony saliva into it. So, I gotta suck a few loads out of you and spit it onto the soil. True story."
yea i don't think she's gonna be spitting it out once she realizes how salty it is
>The land, for all that it provides, has its quirks
>The first being that it's a horny fatherfucker
>Cannot read
Lel she got her brother to write the profile for her.
>Applejack puts on an alpha mare front but is actually kind of a dork and ignorant in an endearing way
I would like a story with this.
That sounds like it'd be a good read.
>Earth pony culture is focused heavily on the land, and concepts like renewal and growth are very important to them
>It doesn't hurt that earth pony magic (which, with no wings or horns to release, is heavily concentrated in reproductive fluids) helps the land's natural regulation and helps to boost the soil's health
>It's no exaggeration to say that the land is just plain healthier where earth ponies settle
>It's why their old pre-unity settlement sites are temples that are overgrown with jungle flora - earth pony magic seeps down into the soil as deep as the roots of trees, and tends to linger for centuries
>They're the most druidic of ponies, and consider the concept of having large families to tend to the earth as their repayment for the blessing the earth gives to them in the form of earth pony magic
>That's why earth pony families usually end up being large, and why earth ponies in general lean towards farming or other earth-focused careers.
>The most old-fashioned earth ponies sometimes don't even bother learning to read, because they see their duty as earth ponies to be tending to the earth and nothing more.
>Due to how important concepts like renewal are to them, earth pony holy days are usually all about renewal, fertility, and growth.
>Which is to say, their holy days are a lot of fun.
>It's sex.
>It's lots of sex.
>Anon did not learn this for a while, despite dating an earth pony.
>To be fair, lots of commonly-used phrases from from Earth exist in Equestria, even if they mean different things.
>He had no reason to suspect that the phrase "down to earth" didn't mean "practical and realistic".
>He just thought that, when it was used to describe his marefriend Applejack, it meant that was a humble sort of pony who was focused on reality, and (again) to be fair, that was true.
>He had no way of knowing that meant she was all about the old earth pony ways.
>He knew not it was a warning.
>>They're the most druidic of ponies
Mud pones engage in pony sacrifice, then?
>>He had no way of knowing that meant she was all about the old earth pony ways.
>>He knew not it was a warning.
RIP Anon's pelvis
>The Wicker Pone
Sometimes you just need to dig a hole in the ground and make a virgin stick his dick in it. It's tradition.
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>Pear butter practiced the old earth pony ways, and AJ continues the traditions to honour her, and all the potential siblings she could have had.
>yfw it's always you they choose.
The land provides
I think I'll repost my Flurry and Magician Anon thing for the Fresh Bread.

>When Flurry was a but a teen, Anon had appeared one day in the middle of Ponyville.
> Twilight, after making sure he wasn't some weird alien invader, acted as his Watcher and after he got settled in, he became friendly with folk and even decided to get back into doing his "Magic Tricks", the purple smart princess apparently one of the first witnesses to them.
>After that, "Auntie" Twilight had all kinds of stories for Flurry and the Other Princesses about the "Impossible Magics" he could do and all the "grand things" he could accomplish.
>Flurry Heart never really cared for that though, she was technically Impossible as well but here she was, Grand as Tartarus. It might have been impressive for a Stallion at least but it never really got her attention.
>However, that all changed when he started getting comfortable enough to come with Twilight to Canterlot to visit the other Princesses whenever there was a meeting going on.
>Whenever he visited, he was always kind to Flurry and always used his "Tricks" for good...OK, maybe the coin thing freaked her out when she first met him but he was still harmless!
>After the initial meeting, Anon's later visits were usually short and more or less yearly, if not bi-yearly. Matched when the meetings came together.
>And then she became "all grown up" and the prospects for Stallions were...limiting, to say the very least. They were either Gold Diggers, Power Seekers or bored noblecolts who's parents wanted in good with the Royal Family.
>It was annoying to say the least but at least Anon was always kind to her...always sweet...and that's when she gets a rather (embarrassing) idea that could only be fueled by a young adult's weird ass mind: Maybe she ought to COURT Anon?

>If Flurry could court the "Magician", Anon, then that'd surely chase away the useless Stallions AND secure her someone with Great Power. Even if she didn't care about the power bit herself, it'd keep others from thinking they'd have a chance to challenge him...plus she would have full access to those weird hoof-spider things that could scritch SO good!
>But how would she get him...
>Stallions liked money, yes? But she didn't want a Gold Digger.
>Plus, she was pretty certain he could just make money himself anyway even IF Auntie Twilight said she told him to not make any more of his strange Nickle and Silver coins. She probably gave him some bits, too, so he wouldn't be strapped for cash.
>Maybe she could give him flowers?
>No, wait, he can just summon his own from his sleeves, can't he?
>This Stallion might actually be a bit harder to flirt with than she originally thought he'd be...

>Meanwhile, Anon the Magician, small timer from Earth, was busy practicing some old table tricks he never really had time to mess around with before.
>He definitely has the "Cup Through The Table" trick down if his last talk with Twilight had anything to go by. She really did humor him, it was just a simple trick with a ball used for misdirection, but he's pretty sure it's all helped him get back into his old hobby.
>It was so nice to have these nice ponies so gung ho about his silly hobbies, but he did find it odd he only ever really did shows for the Princesses themselves instead of just regular folk. Even after all these years of him fumbling around, he didn't think he was good enough for private showings with ROYALTY, goodness no! But they humored him all the same and seemed genuinely interested in his "craft".
>Put a smile on his face at least, especially when that Flurry girl got all starry eyed. She likes to act like she's a big, tough mare but he knows that in her is some wonder for the illusionary.
>..well, HUMAN illusionary that is, it still felt kind of hilarious that these laser horn spewing beings liked something that was so...NOT laser spewing.
>Ah, and speaking of Flurry, it seemed he got a big package with Crystal Empire postage on it if the knock at his bedroom door was of any note. Twilight was such a dear for letting him stay for as long as he has.
>And when he opened the box? He was surprised to see a lovely cape and a whole assortment of cards! Just for him!
>Flurry was just so sweet, how did she know he wanted to practice card tricks next?
>Perhaps it was time for the "Magnetic Hand Trick"...?


Hope you Fresh Bread Anons enjoyed this silly idea I had late last thread. Got inspired by shit and this is the result.
Thumbs up to you too, uber-satan.
This was great, thanks LaP.
>everytime a chaste stallion is in town on business this happens
No wonder Big Mac is such a homebody
Sacrificing a colt's virginity? Truly barbaric practices...
Reminds me of that small prompt of fucking a cloud spirit for harvest rains.
Wonder it that was a ritual that came about through inter-tribe relations.
Do unicorn colts stick their dick in magic itself to promote healthy mana flow?
Bossy, rich wife when?
>"We tricked magic into thinking our horns are dicks. Every time we cast a spell, magic is getting off on it, giving us greater power than any other race."
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>Be Littlepip. 18-year-old edgy mare in a world that won't let you be edgy.
>CSGU is nice, and Princess Celestia is helping you refine your talent for telekinesis. (Take THAT, Twilight Sparkle! You can do everything else, but TK is MY special talent! MINE!)
>Still, it's not edgy enough for you. So in your spare time, you & your best make up stories about wandering through a post-apocalyptic wasteland plagued by horrors: false alicorns created by a hideous magical experiment, manticores, zombie ponies, other edgy violent ponies...
>Blackjack's even edgier than you are. You worry about her sometimes.
>In your daydreams, you have nifty futuristic guns. Because flintlocks are BORING!
>Then one day in the halls, you overhear motormouth Lyra talking to Moondancer.
>"Bullshit, Lyra. A woodwose hasn't been seen in Equestria since the one that married Princess Celestia, & he died five hundred years ago."
>"Nuh-uh! Bon-Bon gets chatty after sex. She totally saw one!"
>"Ugh, do you have to remind me that you're a giant bucking dyke?"
>"Beats being a virgin. Like you."
>"Love you too, Moonie. Anyway, Bon Bon says it's lurking in the old Museum of Sorcery down by the edge of the Everfree. She's going to go check it out tonight."
>"She's going to have a long cold wait in the dark for something that doesn't exist."
>"Like your sex life."
>"You little shit--"
>"Well, see you around." Lyra turns and flounces off.
>Moonie puts on a stoic expression until Lyra's out of sight, & then freaks out. Hard.
>"Eeeeeee...omigosh!" She twitches like someone stuck burrs under her sweater, and frantically trots in place. "They're really real!" With that, she teleports away.
>If that's what being a frustrated virgin does to you, you're glad you & Blackjack lez out sometimes.
>You do a 180 & head for the Royal Guard's training barracks. You're going to find Blackjack, and then you're going to have an ADVENTURE!
>And maybe some sex!
>With somepony (something?) besides each other, even!

As ever, posting will be sporadic.

>>Blackjack's even edgier than you are. You worry about her sometimes.
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>Be Moondancer.
>You can't allow "Bon-Bon" (as Special Agent Sweetie Drops calls her cover identity) to get to the woodwose before you!
>She might hurt it, or worse, present it to Princess Celestia as a replacement husbando!
>You want to at least talk to it first. If it likes books and O&O, YOU'LL marry it!
>And then, phenomenal cosmic power will finally be yours!
>Okay, okay, power on the level of Princess Celestia. Still, more than good enough.
>You could tolerate the transformation. Yeah, it'd be weird, and rough for a while, but the Princess seems to have handled it well enough. You can do it too!
>You scramble to grab a bound notebook, a blunderbuss, and a blunt implement.
>You hope it's not hostile. You don't have any date-rape drugs, or even know where to get any.
>Gear in your saddlebags, you gallop for the ramp leading to the base of Mount Canter.


Done for right now. I may scrawl more later.

I can, however, promise you that satyrs will not be a thing in this one, despite my own preference for them.
It's a pretty cute idea. They're all going to have aneurysms when they realize there's no magic involved, Twilight especially.
>Bossy rich wife who is known as a bloodthirsty ruthless monster in the business world.
>Has an aura of dominance that comes from her.
>If she says she wants something then she gets it.
>But behind closed doors she wants to let all of that go and give up control.
>She had dated Anon for years and even married him because the stupid green man had somehow managed to entertain her and keep her interest which almost nothing does.
>Maybe it was his stories of a backwards world where men were in charge or maybe because he was always supportive of her in every endeavor, business or otherwise.
>But she is hesitant to reveal her desire to be submissive in the bedroom to her husband and forget even finding a guy on the side for it because it would ruin her if things got out.
>Everytime she works up the nerve to say something she chickens out, fearing what he might say or think less of her as a woman.
>She thinks maybe if she had a lot of liquid courage she could confess or maybe drop some hints to him and maybe he would just offer on his own.
>But she thinks it wouldn't work anyway.
>Guys look for strong women who could protect and provide for them after all, not submit to them no matter how many made up stories he may tell her otherwise she thinks.
gentle dom is the patrician's choice
>I can, however, promise you that satyrs will not be a thing in this one, despite my own preference for them.
Sounds kinda sus but alright. Please do continue.
I'm more worried for crystal colts.
>Your now free hand delved into Soarin's mane and you're instantly impressed by its smoothness. Exactly the same as of the dark blue tail: exceptional!
>The pegasus melted into your touch, his head kept rubbing against your deft palm, as you continued to pet the lad.
>Very nice. You could get used to this "husbando" moment occurring more often in your life.
>You both happily finished the grilled grub, while he received petting, but you still felt as if something was missing.
>Gears spun in your head... what a man should do ASAP to get his Tinder date home for the lay? Seal the deal with a direct lips to lips kiss!
>That's right: you need to kiss the horse. This cute small horse of inviting smile. You're blushed at the thought, but you're the Chad in this scenario.
>Like a guerrilla fighter, in a bench ambush, your hands grasped Soarin's head, while front of your face pressed against his.
>He's fairly startled by the unannounced charge, but followed Yana's lead, as they hugged in a state of prolonged kissing.
>It's awkward at first, since anatomies of your heads and thus mouths were different, but steadily grow into a passionate smooch.
>There's probing with tongues, nibbling on the lips, and general pauses between eventuating rounds in your oral session.
>After seven minutes of your amorous cuddling, your lips parted, and the pegasus was still clinging to your body, while sighing happily.
>You're smitten yourself too, but also invigorated by the familiar heat building in your loins! The next steps were crystal clear: take the colt house and "become one flesh".
>Some of the nearby ponies were glancing your way; both mares and stallions nodded in appreciation whenever your eyes met (and one Cranky donkey was frowning).
>Social approval for the concluding moves was now yours, even after the initial faux pas!
>Once standing, you picked up the Wonderbolt's form into your arms to assert domination. He's surprisingly light due to his pegasi and male heritage: you carried Applejack on your back around for a day, after a lost bet, and she's almost three times as burdensome (but also smelled of apples, pears, and grapes, you recalled).
>With newfound energy, you dashed towards your log cabin; the colt's front hooves wrapped around your neck, snout against your chin.
>You almost barged through the door, but had to stop in order to fetch the keys, since it's locked (normally, there's no need for that, since nopony locked theirs, but sometimes you're a target of uninspired "pranks" with frogs or bunnies let loose in your abode).
>As soon as you're behind the door, the aura of full on amativeness returned, and your palms sneaked under his tunic to feel them cutie marks (or rather flanks they're on).
>A slight gasp escaped the colt's throat, and his front hooves involuntarily pressed against the human's breasts in response.
>Since you're not wearing a bra (misunderstanding between you and the local tailors; you would have to pay for making a custom one somewhere else), your nipples instantaneously reacted to the intrusion.

[You guys want the description of their haydance? I mean, it would be written from her perspective. We can skip on it and move to Yana and certain rumors she might be interested in.]
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Has anyone ever tried ponyfying pic related? I was thinking of trying to do a few pages.
>I mean, it would be written from her perspective.
Man, you are continuously jump back and forth between first and third person, just settle on one and do it.
I always welcome more Little Pip greens
>>He's fairly startled by the unannounced charge, but followed Yana's lead, as they hugged in a state of prolonged kissing
Accidental 3rd person here
I'm as intrigued by the idea of pip being an edgy larper as I am afraid of whatever twist you have planned.

I'm used to roleplay in MLP universe as "DM", not to write greens. I'll continue the thing, but it'll flash constant switches between 1st/3rd person, as noted. Only once I'm finished with this "Russian non anon lass in 'Questria", I shall study the proper narrative conduct for an RGRE green.
>someone is finally writing my "FOE is a LARP" idea.
>it's the satyrfag.
[Concerned human noises]
Crystal ponies have the heart, they're all collectively wining and dining the land all year round.
Hey guys, remember that RGRE story with Twilight accidently turning herself int oa stallion, then being told she wasn't allowed to legally make a spell to fix the problem? The one where the explanation for the gender skew is thus:
>Ponies in old times used genderswap magic on newborn colts because fillies were preferable to carry on the family name (think China's response to the One-Child policy).
>Said transformation magic lingered in the pony's system for the rest of their life, and the "mare" now had a higher chance of producing fillies than colts.
>Combination of this practice being widespread in Equestria and being used on multiple generations compounded the problem.
>The practice is outlawed, but the magic had a cumulative effect, and now is still present in modern day ponies and will take many generations still to fully dissipate from the Equestrian population.
What do you guys think of it?
I was thinking in the case of an Anon RGRE story might be Anon's natural anit-magic nature nullifies this residual gender-skewing magic in mares, meaning his foals have a proper 50/50 chance of being born male and he just gets lucky on the flips.
Combined with herd dynamics and Anon could create a massive boon in colts for Equestria.
He might even be thanked by the princesses themselves for having aided in Equestria's future so much.
I don't think so, but that would be great
That "proper narrative conduct" is so ez, even a completely braindead retard can do it. You're just being lazy.
Is that the manga where the chick from our world ends up in a RGR human world?
Then lay down the basic structure for me, please. Also, bear in mind, English is not my first language.
What is ESL?
Link it atleast dude
It works exactly like any other slash emulpee green
>be dumbo anon
>you are new to 'Questria
>fortunately a smartypants pony took you in
>"hey, i have plenty of free room and i'm bored, wanna move in?"
"Aye, I have nowhere to stay. I am grateful, kind lady"
>and that's how you ended up getting a coolbutt room inna pretty smartypants castle
>let's fast forward a bit
>and so it came to be that it is morning and it looks a great day is coming
"Goodness gracious, what a great day outside!"
>Enter smartypants mare
>"oi anonske, wanna go on a great bizarro trip?"
"I was thinking the same thing! Are your friends coming with you?"
>"yea, we are going to have so much fun times together!"
>Something-something RGRE
Kinda like that
English Second Language. We have a couple of ESL anons, I think.
An RGRE green is an essence of a self insert story where a green man humps a canon mare (or all of them)? Alrite den and copy dat.
Yeah, just about right.
I remember that, it was on Fimfic right? which also meant it never got finished. If you think you can write something from it go ahead.
>shit idea gets shit writer

I'm not nearly that bad when I'm making an effort, and you know it.
anon... the title is right there
i can't read
Erotic Sign Language
>It's strategic dick-flapping
god damnit. Forgive me for this, lads. Okay, observe the post of the image you're curious about. Notice next to the dimensions it has 4 links. Google, yandex, iqdb, and wait. Click those links, they are image-searching links. Within, you will find your answers.
Fuck it, have my shitty green

>Thou art Anon.
>You've been planning this for a long time.
>It took months of effort to get yourself in shape. You blame all this sugar in the food. Seriously, these little poners consume so much sugar it makes you look for epi-pen subconsciously.
>Having to fight off mares that got too frisky didn't hurt your figure either. It did reward you with constant paranoia, though.
>You're dressed in a dressing gown with a cutesy pattern. You hate every square inch of the thing, but if your hunch is right, it will earn you a truckload of bits today.
>Something to do with more clothing being lewd. You made EXTRA sure that nothing about clothing was in the rules.
>You sit down and double check and then triple check your streaming setup. These computers may be powered by magic but they're pretty close to what you're used to. You could swear there was some alternate-universe correlation at play here.
>You inhale, and press that 'Go Live' button. It's showtime, bitches.
>Things start out slowly.
>You keep spewing out cutesy nonsense for a dozen or so viewers. Gotta pump these numbers up, these are rookie numbers!
>You've been doing pre-stream talks for a better part of an hour now, waiting for viewer count to hit that critical mass you've calculated.
>Streaming no games on game streaming platform is walking on a very thin ice, but since mods are all mares, and you got a cute face, you can expect some leniency.
>Besides, you entertain chat with game-related things, mainly giving them illusion that they can pick a game for you to play, listing off some casual games.
>Little do they know, you've scripted this entire day.
"So, chat, which game should we try out of these?"

TotalyNotAChangeling: kitchen
BtnSm4sh: Sammich construction 4000 II: Sammich harder!

>Cute. Good thing you've mastered ancient art of giving precisely zero fucks.
>But since they want a colty display, you're happy to provide, as long as views go up.
"Ooh, I think my hair is dry enough~"
>You undo the towel on your head. Normally, your hair would be greasy and sticky mess, but since you had to pander to your audience now, you had to change that. Growing long hair and using girly shampoos felt gay as fuck, but the end goal was well worth it.
>Luscious hair spills forth. You kick your head back and let it settle. Getting that move just right took some practice, but practice makes perfect and you nail it.
>THAT has got their attention.
>To warm audience up, you boot up local equivalent of a casual game. Another goddamn match-three. Ugh. This game has skill ceiling so low that you could swear you don't even perceive game board after first minute of the so-called gameplay. On a bright side, you couldn't give yourself away with this game even if you tried.
>You look at viewer count more than at actual game, it grows in leaps and spurts. Great, means it is the time for the main course!
>After finishing another round on complete auto-pilot, you nod to camera.
"I've recently got a new game, and wanted to give it a try."
>You mock confusion as you look around fancy shelves of the room. They're stuffed with cute stuff that'd induce hour-long projectile vomiting session from you previously. But not today.
>You come closer, and reach for highest shelf, standing just on your tip-toes. By your calculations, your dressing gown should be raised just enough just to expose camera to a small piece of...

L3monD3mon: Sweet Luna!
P3culiarD1amond: How s-scandalous!

>Why yes. Those are striped thigh-highs socks. Exactly the type that riles up mares like no tomorrow.
>You still remember the look of a mare you commissioned these off. Yuck.
>Deciding to end this little show before mods show up, you finally grip the box and return to your streaming setup.
"One of my friends recommended this game to me."
>You wave a fancy box of Dark Snuggles towards the camera, making sure it clearly catches the box art and the name.
"Said it's fun but it might be a little hard."
>You put your index finger to your lips in cutesy display of slight confusion. Internally, you have to fight revulsion of this act.
"Let's try this one, chat. Even if it's a bit difficult, I'm going to try my best."
>Collective equivalent of "Ooooh" and cheeky encouragement spill forth in tidal wave from chat. Viewer counter already increased threefold from your stocking stunt and it just keeps rocketing up.
>Bait taken successfully, hook, line and sinker.
>You boot it up, feigning complete ignorance.
"So chat, what character should I make?"
>After a bit of back and forth, you end up with rather sub-optimal initial build. It's interesting just how many white-knighting mares flooded in trying to 'protect precious colt'. You expected vast majority to be mischievous and suggest trash build for their sadistic enjoyment. You even had to deliberately ignore some obviously good advice, just to stir up controversy in chat and drive perceived stakes higher.
>This alternate-universe game sure takes it's sweet time to kick into high gear. You decide to spice things up a bit.
>You allow your character to take some hits. You hide your smirk and try to look slightly annoyed as chat is booming with all permutations of "Colts can't game".
>That's exactly what you want to happen. Just as health drops low enough for next hit to be fatal, or in terms of this game, knock-out, you riposte attack and counter-boop your enemy. And then another one. Last one you roll around and backboop into abyss, all in the span of handful of seconds. Environmental hazards: They never get old!
>Just like that, chat grinds to a halt. And then it explodes, lines whizzing by in a blur.

L3monD3mon: I found my new horsebando!
TotalyNotAChangeling: what in the buck was that!?!??
MedialRing: See? Colts CAN game!
TwilitBandit: omc omc omc
BtnSm4sh: nice save. FOR A COLT

>It's getting harder and harder not to crack a toothy, smug smile.
>They have NO idea who they're dealing with.
>You are a product of almost two decades of unrelenting gaming; twitch reflexes approaching those of Quake god; honed strategic and tactical thinking of RTS veteran mushed up into explosive combination with penchant to finding every little glitch, loophole and underhanded trick to exploit and abuse; and as a bowling-ball-sized cherry on top there's your pure, unadulterated determination of a nutjob completionist who leaves no achievement behind and never -EVER- backs down from a challenge.
>So far, no game you've sunk your teeth into walked away unbeaten. And you intend to keep it that way.
>Nobody expects local equivalent of a Twitch thot to have actual skill, and you're going to milk that HARD.
>Rest of the day goes without much of an incident - you didn't even run into any bosses yet. Which is strange for Souls-like. Snuggles-like?
>Looks like it's time to actually finish up the streaming. Time sure flies when you're having fun. Especially at the expense of tryhards who take you for another pretty-face colt trying to be hip.
>So before wrapping up the stream you drop some obvious hints that your upcoming night stream is going to be more... intense. Predictably, chat goes into frenzy.
>You looked into how streaming works in this world. Night streams are typically more risque with their content, and that's where most colt-thots reside. And it's time for them to make space for someone can do more than put on a pretty face and shake the flanks.
>You turn off the camera and finally allow widest smirk to crawl onto your face. Friggin amateurs.
>You then check how much you've earned and your eyebrows nearly slap the ceiling. You're rolling in bits now.
>Still nowhere near your actual goal, but it's a very good start.
>You've just found oil, and that oil is...
>Thirsty, thirsty mares.

>After taking a break and just inhaling food you're ready for a late-night stream.
>You barely started the stream and mares are already bickering in chat, impatient for what you have in store for them.
"It's getting a bit hot here"
>You start taking off unbearably cute dressing gown.
>Under the dressing gown there's long t-shirt that's deliberately one size too small to show off sick gainz you worked so hard for.
>No slut-socks this time, you decided to play it safe.

L3monD3mon: *heavy breathing*
Applejack01: Howdy! So 'dis is doo-hickey Twilight can't stop talkin' 'bout?
BtnSm4sh: Shut up, MudTeats Mc.Country!
Applejack01: Hay, dont'cha go tellin' me what ta' do!
TotalyNotAChangeling: why do you keep typing out your country-isms???
Applejack01: Ah'm nawt sure what you're gettin' at...

>You 'accidentally' swipe the Dark Snuggles box off the table.
"Whoops, clumsy me!"
>Time to kiss remains of your dignity goodbye.
>You stand up and bend down, 'accidentally' letting t-shirt slide off your butt. Which is to say, barely covered by tight undergarments. Deliberately wide stance gives camera very opportune view at your admittedly sizable package.
>What can you say, you had an entire generation of Twitch thots to learn from how to slut it up. Who would've thunk you'd need that knowledge someday?
>Not you, that's for sure.

TwilitBandit: Dat Gluteus maximus!
xXM00n_DanceXx: By Celestia's bountiful teats! That colt is packing!
L3monD3mon: how much for that ball bra, my dearest horsebando?
TotalyNotAChangeling: daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn
MedialRing: Mods?

>You fake innocence as you restore the box to it's rightful place and pull shirt down with a cute blush.
>That is -amazingly- enough to convince viewers that it was completely unintended on your part, and mares all turned on a single stallion that requested administrative intervention.
>You can barely believe your eyes. Every single one of them is thinking with their clits right now.
>It isn't long until he's chased off. It feels a little weird to be desired more than professional colt-thot.
>Once that colt-thot and by extension one of your competitors leaves, you reward your audience by 'warming up' to them.
>Playful comment here, salacious remark there.
>Lucky shot of your undergarments when you readjust in the seat.
>Gotta keep up the heat, crank up the thirst.
>These mares donate like they're ordering one-way tickets to pound-town.
>You're getting into this at his point, dropping opportunities for chat to make crude jokes.
"Where was nearest resting point? I need to take a load off and improve encumbrance rating if I want to remain nimble..."

L3monD3mon: I will take your load any day of the week, sugar cheeks
TotalyNotAChangeling: you can be nimble in my bed~~ <3
Applejack01: 'Dis is no way to treat a colt, y'all!

>All according to plan...
>Ideally you want to train them to chase out other colts that will surely crop up and try to stir shit up to preserve their own slutty status-quo. Too bad. There's new Alpha-thot in town.
>So you gotta cement the idea that colt-thots in chat equals no fun sexy times for viewers.
>Oh shit, you almost forgot to fake lack of skill.
>Thankfully viewers are too busy contemplating your appearance to notice.

Applejack01: Altho' I hafta admit, ah'm finding 'is build... attractive.
LyricalSatirical: Sweet Luna, I bet horn-job with his graspers would feel *AMAZING*
xXM00n_DanceXx: Preach it, sister!
TotalyNotAChangeling: oh shit queen is coming brb
>Be Queen Chrysalis.
>You just busted one of your drones slacking and watching gaming streams.
>Normally you'd dish out harsh punishment for that, but you're currently too distracted by the stream to notice drone limply wriggling out of your grip and disappearing in the dark.
>Your eyes focus on familiar landscapes of enormous castles covered in moss. You lean in and begin typing.

TotalyNotAChangeling: My-my, playing Dark Snuggles... Aren't we cocky?..

>Chat explodes at your message. Darn thirsty mares whiteknighting again.
>You smirk grows wider. You know what's coming right after the next corner. This colt's tears are going to be de-lish. Friggin fake gamers.
>...Even though he does look kinda cute.

>Be Anon again.
>You're in obviously boss-fight-sized cliff area overhanging an epic vista. You remind yourself to at least act a bit surprised when boss emerges.
"Uh-oh, here comes the trouble!"
>There she goes, by the way. Giant armored pone. Figures. Let's observe the pattern.
>This is almost insulting. These alternate-reality pony versions of games you're familiar with are not only mellow as fuck, they're too damn easy.
>Tells are obvious and windups are so long that it almost throws off your timings.
>But in a minute you've got this down.
>Sidestep, roll, riposte, punish, dodge, repeat.
>You take a particularly long windup animation to check out the chat. Apparently mares are in hysterics.
>Let's give them a bit more entertaining show...
>You kite the boss to just the right position and get ready.
>Be Queen Chrysalis.
>You can't believe your eyes.
>The colt just bucked the Unnamed Guardian off the cliff as a finisher.
>That damned boss took you almost two weeks to nail down!
>That colt. That fatherbucking colt.
>You refocus on the screen with doubled attention. You'll never admit it to anyone but Dark Snuggles have kicked your flanks pretty hard and seeing it utterly broken brought utter glee to your blackened soul.
>...and unexplained warmth to your nethers...

>Be Anon yet again.
"Alright, boss is down, so let's clean out the fodder, shall we?"
>You give camera a nasty smile.
"These elite guards are easy, just roll around, and backsta- backbuck them. Works first time, every time."

>Be Queen Chrysalis yet again and, oh Hive, where's your royal handkerchief?
>You wipe off your forehead. You heard that colt streamers liked to entertain audience in more way than one, but this...
>The ape leans forward in a threatening posture and flashes his canines in a wicked grin.
>Mob's body goes limp in his character's hooves, booped mercilessly.
>"Shhhhh, no tears, only dreams now."
>Your trembling hoof slips off the keyboard and gingerly moves itself lower and lower before you're able to catch yourself.
>His grin reaches maximum width and then just keeps going, he's now showing off all of his pearly whites.
>"Shhh, shhh. It's okay. It's all going to be over soon..."
>As if you weren't turned on enough already, your arousal reaches new level and you find yourself winking. Aroused and a bit... scared? Scaroused?
>You can't pin it exactly, but you for sure are sopping wet.
>What was the name of this channel again?
>Be Anon once again. You tentatively eye the chat.
>It in't moving at all. Fuck. You probably overdone the predator-play thing. Damn.
>You were hoping to nail that femme-fatale note. After all, this is a late-night stream and content could afford to be more... risque.
>You decided to roll with predator fetish for two reasons, first, it looked like one of fetishes that is widespread enough to build fanbase on, yet not omnipresent to be mentioned in streaming site's rules, and second - you knew for absolute sure that colt-thots that were already making mad dosh here every night here would be scared by this shitless, let alone be able to fill the niche themselves.
>You sigh internally. Hopefully this won't ruin the subscriber amount. You NEED that money.
>Just as you resign to being a failure, donations start rolling in. Considerable amount of them have strangely... bug-themed messages attached.
>Chat is less insect-invaded, but it is also absolutely, positively losing last remnants of it's shit.

TwilitBandit: Dear Diary, today I discovered something new about myself...
P3culiarD1amond: You and me both, Darling! Mmmm, assertive, Momma likes! Show me these canines!
L3monD3mon: HNNNG, my dearest horsebando sure knows how to please his mare...
BtnSm4sh: I love me a colt who needs to be TAMED
>However, not everyone seems to be happy with your... performance.
>Some gamer mare is losing her shit in the chat. Not something you've planned for, but could be a great opportunity to boost your views.

Born2Win: The jig is up! Nobody plays Dark Snuggles that well on their first run!

>Bitch, please.

Born2Win: I don't know how much you practiced, but I bet you paid for lessons. No way this is first time you see this game, you SLUT and PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A GAMER!
L3monD3mon: Mare, ur cruisin' for a bruisin'!

>So buttmad, that bitch.
>Wait, you recognize that avatar. It's Winner Podium, one of leading streamers in competitive gaming.
>Remembering how her stupid butt-tattoo is this winner stair thing, you know exactly how to deal with this.
"If you think that this is hard, then I guess you'll have to..."
>You lean in onto the microphone, savoring that pause.
"...Step up your game."
>You're more than happy to hit that envious sack of shit where it hurts. Obscenities that emanate from her mean only one thing.
>Time to move in for the kill.
"Or perhaps, you want..."
>Theatrics, theatrics...
"...a duel?"
where is your pastebin?
Anon's a thot, but jesus christ, that was some good green. Also, have you written anything else? I like your style but I didn't see it in Fauster's archive

Pastebin is a time bomb. Use ponepaste.
GamerGirl Sunset vs GamerThot Anon when
Dude, this is great.
I like thing. Looking forward to seeing how this plays out; anon's pretty restricted to his apartment for character interactions at the moment, so I'm curious to see how things change when he has to go outside or spend time with other characters IRL. Or are you intentionally keeping the focus on the online stuff? Either way, great job!
This is fucking fresh as fuck my guy, well done
Is AladdinAnon still around? He scratches my Muslim ponies itch and I need more of that in my life
>Fuck it, have my shitty green
What is it with our writefags and calling good green shit? Is this some peculiar derangement unique to our species? Some strange twist of self-esteem failure caused by colts growing up being told that writing is a mare's profession?
He posted an update a couple of threads ago, so he's alive at least.
cool, thanks
Neigh Cicierega is apparently a simp
He's okay with an eldritch civilization taking over our universe as long as he gets dat inscrutable bussy, of course he's a simp.
To be fair, I'd 100% simp for eldritch waifus too
you're just enabling bad behavior anon
All writers are bound in an eternal struggle between self-loathing and a god complex.
>writefag drops green
>completely new
>literally the first posts using this trip
>vanishes into the aether
Is he ded, bois?
I don't have a pastebin, since this is my first green.
I'll set up ponepaste account soon, though.
the propeller wanted fresh meat
any prompts you anons wanna see made into green?

Fluttershy asks Anon to pretend to be her coltfriend at her flight school's reunion so she wouldn't made fun of.
Buff waifus
Shy anxiety ridden introvert Anon.
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You got a phone call
>The Bachelor but it's the stallions
Whomever gives any fuck about that shit story with Russian beyotch in 'Questria - the continuation is not going to happen.

My sudden renaissance in creation of MLP content (minus my sporadic roleplaying) that started with the story turned my attention back towards "draw fagging". It's been ages since I drew anything pony related.

I can't afford splitting my fleeting flow moment with typing in a greenie. I need to flake off the rust that covers my art workshop too , so I'm clocking out to take care of this by redrawing some screencaps.

It's been a nice visit to 4chan. And I started in 2011 on dA, traveled through now deceased Ponibooru and even visited DB, but found inspiration with you, fagz.

See you around. I shall drop by in 2021. Cheers.
You could always drop off rgre-related drawings in here. OR hell, any pony drawing for that matter.
I liked it. I'd love for it to be expanded on.
Cheers fellow fag
wait where's the art tho? WHERE DO WE FIND YOU, YOU BASTARD
I'm curious. Do go on.
More please.

I'm glad you're still going with this green. Yes, please continue.
>Anon in Old Equestria falls in love and marries.
>Pony wife is a bit patronizing sometimes about him being a silly stallion, but she's otherwise a very lovely mare.
>When she gets pregnant, she can't wait to give him a happy, healthy filly.
>Until the day comes, and she gives birth to a colt.
>Anon couldn't be happier, but she can't help but feel disappointed.
>She brings up going to some fancy unicorn mages and flipping his son's gender.
>At first he thinks he's joking, but she is very adamant and says it will be better if their first born is a filly.
>It's not like it's an uncommon practice, after all.

How would you respond, Anons?
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You have no idea how much I wanted a reason to do another Gilda again
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Based Nignogs, you're the best
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You are my fucking hero
any chance for an edit without those bottoms?
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Those fucking THIGHS
I guess I'm losing nnn
>Gym was "almost" empty, actually.
>Wallflower went unnoticed in the corner as the two "special gym buddies" did their special workout.
>She had come to get into shape and perhaps start to be noticed by guys, or anyone, really.
>Right now, however, she was okay with going unnoticed as she slipped a hand down her waistband and pulled out her phone.
>Other than being good for finger puppet practice, the video will be make for excellent workout motivation.
>If that's what being buff gets you, it's definitely worth all the pain and suffering to get there.
Fucking based.
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pls drop an art every so often so we know you're alive
Well, with this, now somebody pretty much has to make a buff waifu green.
Or maybe a bunch of them?
I thought as much. It's a good green, Snafu. I look forward to seeing more from you!
Well drawn even if i'm probably clinically gay for not getting the appeal.
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Nignogs I fucking love you
Human Gilda is 100% my number one waifu right now and it hurts so much that there isn't much stuff on her
Here's 2 of my fave greens ever
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>argue politely about how i dont want my foal magically altered for various reasons.
>if she persists then i pull out the big guns.
>cup her face in my hands
>look her dead in the eyes.
>"We're done talking about this. No."
>give her a scritch and tend to my little colt.
If she goes behind my back on this then i'm not sure what i'd do, other than try to reverse it i suppose.
>fat gilda
Chubby at most
>No, and if you go behind my back on this, I'll take our foal and leave. You'll never see either of us again.
That Gilda (>>36152987) needs >>36152764's Gilda's help real bad if she wants to be Alpha
11/10, absolute top shit.
Take your well-earned (You)!
And keep up the good work, SNAFU.
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I have a few more Fit Gilda stuff planned I'll definitely put a edit on the list, unless I just do a completely new drawing instead of a edit

I don't normally recommend Greens,
But this green right FUCKING here is worth reading PEAK RGRE
I have it printed on my fridge and everything and I can't believe I still have no idea who wrote this Blessed green

So thank you nameless writefag
Here's my Gilda notes so you know it's me
>But this green right FUCKING here is worth reading PEAK RGRE
When you finish your pone-art, let us know, Blyatgirl-non!
Yes, yes, make this into the next OP picture!
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>the numb feeling in my pelvis every morning is almost euphoric
10/10. thanks for the gift, nignogs
Obscenely based
Mono-anon and his horse wife deal with pressure from her mother to enlarge a herd.
"H-Hey, there!"
>You feel your face contort into a facsimile of a grin as your mind goes blank and you forget how to make a smile.
>It's like thinking about how your legs moved when you walked, and how that would make you stumble and look like a stupid jackass.
>...which is also something that happened to you on your way here.
>But this cute gym bunny doesn't seem to care (if he noticed at all), and that gives you a little burst of hot confidence in your stomach.
"Hi! Hey, I was just n-noticing that you were, uh..."
>Oh, shit.
>Your mind is going blank again.
"...l-lifting weights..."
>oh god oh fuck oh god oh fuck WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS
"A-A-And I thought that m-maybe I c-c-c-could..."
>'Give you a hand.'
>Say it, Rainbow Dash.
>'I thought that I could give you a hand'.
>Be smooth with a boy for once in your fucking life.
>You've bragged about it plenty in the past, so why can't you live up to your own hype?
>Didn't you once say you ARE the hype?
>You swallow thickly, your tongue feeling too big for your mouth.
>You're suddenly aware of how much you're sweating, and how the back of your shirt is sticking to your skin.
>God, you must stink.
"Y-Y'know, g-give you-"
>A hand?
>Because that's exactly what slams down on the gym bunny's shoulder, and you jump embarrassingly at the sudden intrusion.
>You stand eye-to-stomach with a fucking GIANT.
>>"Anon, sweet thing," the chiseled stomach and rockin' pair of tits says, "Is this girl bothering you?"
>Sweet thing?
>Aw, shit; is he taken?
>Well, maybe not for long.
>Not if The Dash is on the case, anyway.
>The gym bunny - Anon, you guess - playfully shoves the terrifying stone golem.
>"Easy, Gil. We were just talking."
>As in...?
>You look up.
>Waaaaaay up.
>But nobody called Rusty.
>...is that fucking-
>The woman peers down at you, puzzled.
>But recognition dawns on her face, and she leans forward (insultingly leaning her hands on her knees) to get down to your level.
>tfw 5'11 womanlette
>>"Rainbow Dash!" she shouts happily, "I can't fuckin' believe it! The fuck are YOU doin' here, midget?!"
>Before you can do anything (namely, if you felt like being honest with yourself, making an ass of yourself in front of this qt3.14), your old childhood friend reaches out her tree-trunk arms and pulls you into a hug.
>You are lifted right off the fucking ground, and your face is mashed between her sweaty tits
>Force of habit has you muttering "no homo".
>"Do you know each other?" you hear Anon asked, muffled to your ears through tit-flesh.
>>"Yeah!" you feel Gilda respond, chest rumbling, "We used to be best buds back when we were kids!"
>Gilda - now terrifyingly huge - finally puts you down, and you stand there in a bit of a daze.
>Dazed and happy to see your old friend, you give Anon kind of a dopey grin, which he returns.
>"Hey, a friend if Gilda's is a friend of mine. The name's Anon."
>He holds out a hand; your heartrate spikes.
"R-Rainbow Dash," you mutter, giving him a jerky handshake.
>You shook it more times than he did, and you were still jerking your hand up and down when he started to pull away.
>Gilda seems oblivious to your distress.
>>"You wanna chill sometime, girl? It's been forever since we hung out."
>You nod excitedly, remembering little forgotten details of your childhood with Gilda.
"Yeah, absolutely!"
>Gilda grins.
>You muster up your courage and jab a thumb at Anon in what you hope is a casual gesture.
"Is your friend here coming too? I don't think I've ever seen a guy who could ride with either one of us, back in the day."
>C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!
>You wanna see what this boy looks like in clothes that aren't baggy!
>Gilda's grin falters, and her eyes dart down to Anon.
>>"Well... I dunno, Dash. I don't think he wants to see a pair of girls do girl stuff, y'know?"
>Shit, she's onto you; you recognize that sort of excuse.
>Anon, however, scoffs and crosses his arms.
>"This again, Gil? I told you before, I'm not one of those delicate little shits you girls flirt with."
>You watch wide-eyed as built-like-a-brick-shithouse Gilda cowers away from sweet, precious Anon, hands out in a placating gesture.
>>"Easy, sweet thing, I didn't mean it like that."
>"Because I've SEEN the 'girl stuff' you gals do. And I know it's watching cheesy 80s movies, eating pizza, and talking about which boys you wanna fuck."
>Gilda looks a little it like a bear-sized deer stuck in headlights.
>>"No, no! I mean, I just didn't think you'd want to! You've got other stuff you like doing, and I didn't think-"
>"And that sounds fun as shit."
>Anon grins at you, looking excited; Gilda looks relieved, but confused.
>Maybe they just hooked up, and she doesn't know this about him yet?
>"Seriously, I used to do that all the time back home. C'mon, I know a pizza place that'll only charge half-price if I flash'em my balls."
>You nudge Gil with your shoulder; you really only jab her upper thigh.
>FUCK, she's huge.
>Like seriously, what the fuck?
"Sounds like fun to me. What'ya say, Gil?"
>This boy sounds like fun!
>Gilda looks back and forth between you and Anon, and a smile slowly slides onto her face.
>>"...I guess I can't say 'no' to half-off pizza."
>Anon holds up a hand towards you, and it takes a second to realize he's expecting a high-five.
>And girl?
>You've never left a sister hanging.
>...or a brother, you guess.
>You give Anon a firm (but gentle; don't want to hurt him) high-five.
>Anon points at you.
>"It's 'Rainbow Dash', right?"
>You nod dumbly.
>"Cool. Gil and I usually finish our shit here early on Friday. Meet you here at 4?"
>>"Hey, babe, could you do me a favor? I think I forgot my towel down over at the deadlift area. Mind grabbin' it for me?"
>Anon nods and, like the meek, helpful husbando he is, he jogs away towards a distant part of the gym.
>Naturally, you get a nice view of that ass.
>You hate to see him go, but you love to watch him lea-
>>"So, hey."
>A hand lands on your shoulder much in the same way that it did on Anon just a few moments ago.
>>"I meant what I said about hanging out, y'know? But if I catch you trying anything with my greenbean-"
>You feel Gilda's hand tighten painfully on your shoulder.
>>"-I'm going to use you as a towel when I do my speed-screeches. You got it?"
>You just nod your head.
>Looks like you'll have to be extra sneaky if you want a chance with this cute gym bunny.
That's it because I don't know anything about gyms.
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Fucking lost.
same. i find it kinda gross.
>my greenbean
Holy fuck that's cute
Much thanks to Editfag for the help!
>Today was the day, and you are ready
>Bouquet of flowers? Check
>Combed mane and tuft? Check
>Arriving fifteen minutes early? Check
>You were ready
>Ok mare, you need to show anon how to have a good time. Lead the stallion as a proper mare. He may be a janefilly but in the end he's a stallion.
>“Woah, hey DT. You’re early.”
>You puff out your chest tuft
“Yup, a mare is always ready fifteen minutes prior for any events!”
>“I’m proud of you kiddo.”
>You let out a quiet whicker as he gives you head scritches, even flicking you leg like you always did
>You see Anon wearing a nice casual suit, the one you commissioned Rarity to make. And mama like, you couldn’t wait to unbutton his shirt once dinner was over.
>That chest...
>The restaurant, the fanciest one in this town, was packed as expected on a Saturday evening
>After checking in, you and Anon were led to your seat, a nice table by the window to see the streets. With autumn coming the leaves were falling in bright orange and red.
>Colts love that kind of view don’t they?
>Ok, DT. First thing first, pull the chair out like a gentlemare
>“I didn’t know they have a chair for my size here.”
“I personally arranged it for you.”
>“Aww, thanks DT.”
>Heh, this time you even went out to order an extra large chair for your anon. You admit it took some string pullings to make it happen with your family name.
>Alright, time to… huh?
>You try to pull again, then again. The chair only moved an inch.
“Here DT.”
>You stepped aside for Anonymous to pull his own chair to sit down
>Horseapples, it’s fine mare. You can still save the day you have plans after all
>It wasn’t long until the waiter arrived
>“Man, the menus here are so fancy.”
“It’s alright Anon, I can order it for you if you want.”
>Anon made that relieved smile of his. “Yeah? Then I’ll let you take care of it.”
>Awww yiss
“I’ll have the pea soup with corn cob salad. And for my dear Anon, he’ll have the yellowtail sauté with chocolate souffle as dessert.”
>“You remembered I like fish.”
“You tried to get me to like it, remember?”
>“Oh right, to be fair you were a tiny tike back then, I was worried you wouldn’t grow.”
“Hey, I've gotten taller now!”
>That deep baritone voice of his let out a chuckle. Smoother than silk and sweeter than honey, you could listen to that voice forever. Especially if he’s moaning out your name.
>“Just teasing you DT. By the way have you made any new friends at school?"
>Your ear flicks to the direction of the sniggering and the whispering, they would all see when you snag this stallion for yourself. You are a mare, meaning small insults like those wouldn’t bother you in the slightest
>“Sweet Celestia, she'd have a better chance with some stallion than that ape.”
>“Fillies nowadays are trying to catch something they can’t… only a true mare can bag something like that.”
>“You think you can do it?”
>“Better than that filly? Absolutely.”
>Keep calm, DT. Keep. Calm. Remember that emotions are a one way ticket to making a fool of yourself. Remember what Anon taught you. You can’t let emotions make a mess of you now.
>The dinner (save for the few rude patrons) went off without a hitch. By now, the sky was clear and the moon was in full bloom. Pale light showered the quiet village, and the scattered stars in the deep azure sky glittered.
>“Whew, that was good. Thanks for the meal DT… what’s that?”
>Arriving perfectly on time the carriage was already waiting for you both.
“Come on Anon, the night isn’t over yet.”
>The leaves painted in autumn colors rained down with the gentle breeze of the night. You could feel it in the air, the season of change playing a lovely tune before the snow covers Ponyville in sparkling white sheets. Life would start again, and so would you and Anon.
“Thank you.”
>Anon didn’t reply but simply nodded. An understanding gaze that didn’t need an explanation. You knew Anon, and he knew you.
“Before I met you, I hated my life. I was in a home I didn’t want to be in, and with parents that didn’t even so much as look at me. Everything was an agonizing blur, dragging by so slow that each day was unbearable.”
>You grab his hand. The warmth that you felt when he hugged you for the first time. The warmth that reignited your heart. The warmth… that you never wanted to let go. Guard it safe where you and only you can see.
>His deep green eyes, brighter than an emerald yet so delicate, stared into you. You wanted to take his lips then and there.
>But he also taught you to be patient. All things needed to build up.
>After the carriage ride, it was a little hike to see all of Ponyville. There’s a lone bench (that you set up some nights ago)
>You look into the night, it was time.
“Hey Anon. don’t you want something more than what you have? Something more fulfilling? You know I’m studying my mom’s business. It won’t be long until I take her position.”
>His lips curved down, with a concerning crease on his eyes,
>“You hated working with your mother…”
“I know but if I need to care for a stallion I need to be better off financially than any other mare. What kind of mare would I be if I can’t do that? I can provide a large home and a backyard for all the foals! No stallion can say no to that.”
>“Diamond Tiara, what did I tell you about thinking that way? If a stallion truly loved you he wouldn’t care about your wealth! You need to do what you love and find someone that will love you for who you are.”
“I’m not a little filly that’s clinging onto some sappy colty romance!”
>“I never said you were DT. I don’t want you to end up like I did.”
>Your ears flatten back.
“Like you did?”
>“Remember when I told you about my world?”
>You nod, recalling his tale of a world with a complete reversal of gender roles
>“My family was poor, so college was out of the question. I took job after job to support my family. Then I met a girl…”
>Anon rubbed his face, massaging his eyes as he took a deep breath before releasing a long sigh. There was a look of regret and reminiscence. A sardonic chuckle escaped his lips.
>“I did everything I could to look good. Got buff, wore different clothes, changed how I spoke, and worked several part time jobs to get her whatever she wanted. Then I found out she already had a boyfriend and I was nothing but a bit dispenser.”
>Anonymous held your hoof. Not in the way you wanted, but a light squeeze that was accompanied with a pleading gaze.
>“Promise me Diamond Tiara. Promise me that you won’t let short sighted greed get the best of you. Don’t do something stupid for some stallion. Don’t make the same mistake I did.”
“What if it was all for you?”
>He shook his head.
>“You know I can’t do that.”
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“Is it because I’m too young? I can be a mature mare for you Anon! I’m not a filly anymore. I can be mature!”
“I’ll get a job soon, and I’m doing really well in school. I take care of my responsibilities like a real mare.”
>The corner of your eyes starts to swell with tears, and there’s a lurch in your stomach that you wanted desperately to ignore.
“I can make you the happiest stallion in all of Equestria! We’ve known each other for so long we’re already joined at the hip-”
>“Diamond Tiara!”
>The tears stream down your face, lips quivering as you struggle to keep a cool composure
>“DT… there is so much ahead in your life. New jobs, new opportunities, new friends... new love.”
>He hugs you in close, the hand that you enjoyed having on your mane stung more than anything. You shouldn’t cry, but you are now. Whatever walls you had left crumbled. Sniveling like the brat you were. No, sniveling like the brat you are.
>“I can’t let you shackle yourself, DT. You’re not meant to be here but out there. Manehattan, Fillydelphia, Canterlot. The whole of Equestria is brimming with opportunity for you! You have so much potential to achieve great things. If I say yes, all of that will be taken away.”
>He pulls away, wiping your tears gently like he always does.
>“I can’t let that happen to you.”
“But I don’t want an opportunity. I want you!”
>“I know, I’m sorry.”
>Easy to say, the walk back home was done all alone. Anon, a stallion of wisdom that he was, left early. Not that you couldn’t humiliate yourself more than you already did…
>The walk back home, even if you could call it that, was more of a trudge.
>As expected there was no light in your home. A large home like yours, the darkness stretched further into the empty halls.
>You didn’t know when you fell asleep, but it was late enough to make your eyes red as an apple.
>It didn’t help when you found out he left Ponyville
I hoped you guys enjoyed this update. Did a little art to celebrate the almost end of the story. Please tell me what you guys think, I really like reading reactions and comments. Have a good weekend anons
Both the art and update are great and tug at my heart strings, you cruel bastard
Keep up the good shit
thank you anon, glad you liked it
Can't wait for more of those three.
>Gilda will never call you cute nicknames, protect you, and carry you lovingly
Life is nothing but an endless series of dissapointments. Every morning I wake up yesrning for what is not there. It hurts anons... it hurts too much
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>Take THAT, Twilight Sparkle! You can do everything else, but TK is MY special talent! MINE!
Yeah, stealth + high level levitation was hilariously broken in FoE:Remain.
Absolutely blessed Gilda green
Thank you writefag!
Poor Dash. She tries, but she's just 200% outclassed.
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>my greenbean
It hurts so much that I will never have this in my life
Yeah, I can't stand catburds but this Gilda is top tier.
Muscles just do absolutely nothing for me i think, give me something soft and cuddly any day.

Well, at least you're self aware enough to know that makes you gay and that gay is gross.
Hey don't be a SJeW about this. If an anon doesn't want to fuck your waifu its' not raciest if they don't want to fuck your waifu.
>>It didn’t help when you found out he left Ponyville
Please tell me this has a happy ending, I'm really liking this DT and want her to be a happy mare by the end.
Please tell me this has a sad ending, I'm really liking DT's suffering and want her to be an emotionally hurt mare in the end.
>Stay at gym late
>Work's giving you weird shifts, so after 9 is the only time you have for the gym
>Leave really late
>It's just you and gym pal
>Some giant chick
>You've never spoken, but you're both there more frequently than any other one gym member, so it feels like you're always sharing the building with her
>You see her, you nod, she nods back
>She sees you, she nods, you nod back
>Sometimes you throw her a spare towel if she's all out and you've got a spare
>Don't even know her name
>So it's late one night, just you and her
>You finish your rep and clean up
>Head out the building, nod at giant golem lady
>She nods back
>You don't make it 5 steps before trouble finds you
>Some scraggly chick wants your money or else she'll stab you
>You're pretty sure she won't stab you, but you go for your wallet anyway
>Sooth your pride by muttering internally that if you weren't so sore from just coming out of a workout, you'd beat the shit out of her
>There's a fist where the robber's head used to be
>Giant chick just knocked the thief out
>"I heard shouting. There ain't nobody here but us this late."
>She kicks the thief in the ribs.
>"And this dweeb too, I guess."
>You thank her
>She offers to walk you home
>You take it
>"Name's Gilda, by the way."
>"Pretty name."
"Y-You too."
>Work out together from then on
>You find out she rarely wears a bra
>She finds out who's been stealing your towels
>You make a good team
For some reason, I want to see them teaming up to solve mysteries.
Real talk: in my head, I was actually wondering if I should end it with "you solve mysteries and shit".
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Rainbow would be the Scrappy of the group
"..that sounded gay as hell."
Yes. Do it. I dare you.
>"Workout motivation"
Wall is about to go down a dark path
You make me root for and feel bad for DT and she's a character I generally don't like. That's an accomplishment.
Well done
Who among us can claim to not be ded?
the Heavy
is nice
I can claim to BE ded, does that count?
I've been ded inside for over a decade now, does that count?
>Asks if you want to get lunch one day
>Takes you to a place you haven't been before
>Small diner near the gym
>You'd seen it before, but you thought it was too greasy to eat at
>You were right
>"It ain't much. But they're used to workout orders."
>You get a sandwich
>She gets a large bowl of cottage cheese
>Such is life with Gilda
>too greasy to eat at
best tacos i've ever had were the greasiest, cheesiest things imaginable. hope they didn't close down due to the chinkflu or illinois' draconian bullshit
Hey Anon, mind giving me back my sides?
I didn't expect to see that reference here of all places!
>large bowl of cottage cheese
Is that supposed to be gym food ?
So I have been told. I don't know gyms, I just kinda knew someone who went to one.

Good to have you back, APA. You're getting better. Took me a while to realize that it was you.

You should totally start going to the gym.
Wait, how do you know it's him?
Great protein and isn't overly calorically dense. It's great food for an athlete.
It's obviously him, but if you don't know how to spot him then I'm not going to tell you. Read moar green, homie.
That’s actually neat to know.
same boat as >>36154510
In my head I was thinking of ricotta. I don’t know why.
I bet ten bucks that you're a faggot and that it isn't him. It isn't on his pastebin.
You just gotta scroll through the thread my guy

You appear to have spelled euphoric as "euphoric."

Also, while I like fit girls, that Gilda is too fit. Needs like half that muscle mass.
>You appear to have spelled euphoric as "euphoric."
kekked by spellcheck. I think you mean euphoric as euphotic.

>Also, while I like fit girls, that Gilda is too fit. Needs like half that muscle mass.
Agree, disagree, and disagree.
>Gilda is sitting alone eating a bowl of Lima beans
I was intrigued, but now you have me hooked.
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Shoot, I really can't hide from you guys, can I? School's taking up most of my time, and I can't be online as often as I'd like. But I'm happy to hear you think I'm improving; maybe spending a few months not thinking about writing has recharged my batteries.

>You should totally start going to the gym.
Would if I could, but my area of the world is fuuuuuuucked.

>It isn't on his pastebin.
You're right, it's not. Thanks for reminding me.
Maybe I'll do something with this when I learn about how gyms work and what gym-goers are like.
frankly i'm amazed and more than a little goncerned that an anon is always able to somehow identify you
regardless thanks for stopping in. glad to hear you're ok
I'm both impressed, and slightly worried. I know that everyone has a unique writing style and that it's possible to pick up it if you're exposed to it enough, and I also know that I probably have some "tells" that I'm not aware of. But sometimes after I write on Anon, I do a quick sweep of my bedroom to make sure there aren't any cameras tucked away in corners.

>regardless thanks for stopping in. glad to hear you're ok
Me too. What with world events being what they are, I get nervous when I don't hear regularly from someone. And, hypocrite that I am, I happily went dark on Sept 1 when uni started back up. I've been a lot less active this year, but I still lurk regularly.
You’re the faggot now, you gotta pay up chump
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I'll take that ten bucks now, faggot.
why is she hiding her phone in her underwear?
She keeps it on vibrate
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Actually useful information, thanks /fit/!
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We have a good RGRE edit or version of this?
Maybe replace with Celestia, Anon, and Twilight as Pearl.
Celestia has had dozens of foals over the centuries and so wouldn't be this proud and silly about having another.
Luna, on the other hand, was a virgin up to this point, and her first foal is with Anon, so she's inexperienced and excited enough to do this.
Celestia would be the one who comes up in the second panel.
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>tfw no tough as nails mare that secretly loves brushies and other hyoo-man grooming techniques
Did he pay?
das a cute fizzelpop.
>Hearty grabs her scarf and puts it on strapping her head onto her body once more
>As you both start to walk down the path towards Ponyville you begin to think about how you're going to broach the subject of Hearty's past
>You're broken out of your spell by Hearty's voice
>"Hey 'Non, you alright? Seems somethings troublin' you."
"Its nothing Sweet Heart." You say with a reassuring smile
>She doesn't seem fully convinced but she seems to not want to push it further
>The walk continues in relative silence the songs of the birds and swaying of the trees filling the void of silence.
>Eventually you reach Ponyville and you're greeted by ponies going about their day
>When they see you they wave and you both wave back
"Do you mind if we head by the library first? I'm sure Twi wouldn't mind us stopping in for breakfast."
>"Hmm... Seems a tad bit rude to stop in unannounced for breakfast..."
>Her stomach grumbles and she quickly changes her mood
>"Although it seems my stomach disagrees." as she finishes the both of you laugh.
"It's settled then we'll head over to Twi's and then we'll go for a walk in the park after."
>You navigate your way around town quickly reaching Twilight's library
>When you reach the door you knock and call out to Twilight
"Hey Twi!"
>You hear the clopping of hooves behind the door and it eventually opens to reveal the purple mare herself.
>"Oh hey Anon, hey Hearty. What brings you to my door?"
"I was hoping, maybe, possibly, if you were the best friend in the world, we could have breakfast with you and spike?" a small smile approaches your lips
>"Of course Anon, cmon in Spike is just setting up the table and getting some food ready."
>You head in first and Hearty follows close behind.
"Just head on in for a sec Hearty, i've just gotta talk to Twi for a sec."
>She gives you a small puzzled look but continues on in anyway.
"So Twi. Big hypothetical, so what if your special somepony, I don't know... was cursed by Nightmare moon a hundred years ago and the now reformed Princess wants to make ammends with said special somepony."
>She gives you a stern look as you continue
"How'd you go about broaching that subject with them?"
>"Anon, this is way too much way too quickly. Just give me a moment."
>She starts to pace in cricles pondering about the information that you've given her.
>"I suppose you could just talk to her about it?" she says nervously
"I was thinking of doing that already, but I just don't know how to go about it."
>"I can't say i've ever been in a situation like this... But I would say you just go for it. Bring it up when you feel the time is right."
>Well that wasn't very helpful but at least you're reassured in your method
"Appreciate it Twi, thanks for the advice." You say with a small smile
>You reach over to her and give her mane a little tussle
"Lets go get some breakfast shall we?"
>The two of you head into the kitchen and you see Spike cooking up a storm and Hearty watching in awe.
"Hey Spike, what're you cooking there?"
>"Im making a double decker haycake supreme!"
>You take a look at the ingredients that he has in the bowl and you nod in approval
"Ata boy just like I taught you, although it seems like it could do with a few more strawberries and a few more blueberries."
>Twilight rolls her eyes and takes a seat.
>You and spike keep cooking for the two girls
>Once you're both finished the kitchen looks like a warzone filled with beautiful meals.
>The both of you serve the meals and take your own seats
>"This is the best breakfast you've cooked up yet Anon." Twilight says after devouring a whole haycake.
>"Damn straight 'Non, beautiful meal made by a beautiful stallion."
"Getting better Hearty, getting better." You say with a small smile.
>"What about me?" Spike says his pride is clearly hurt by the tone in his voice.
"Course kid, I couldn't do it without you."
>Spike's pride visibly rises with that comment.
>You all eat the rest of your meal in peace with idle chatter filling the room
"Open up Hearty." You say while holding a piece of pancake on a fork
>"Cmon 'Non, I ain't no filly I can feed myself."
"I know you can you big strong mare you."
>She rolls her eyes and smiles at you.
>"Alright just this once 'Non."
>Spike visbly gags over this and you laugh
"One day Spike you'll be doing the same with your wife."
>You feed Hearty the some of her meal and continue to eat your own in between.
>"So Hearty, Twilight told me about how you're a dola-dula-
>"Dullahan." Twilight corrects Spike
>"Yeah, whats that exactly?" He says with curious eyes
>Out of the corner of your eye you see Hearty let out a big sigh
>Twilight goes to reprimand the small dragon but Hearty cuts her off.
>"Well truth be told, I don't know much 'bout it myself. Other than what i've gone through myself. But I'll show you a little trick that we can do." she says with a mischevious smile.
>She raises her hooves to her head and takes off the scarf
>The poor dragon is frightened and runs out of the room with a yelp
>"Didn't think it'd scare 'im that much." Hearty says with slight nervousness to her voice."
>You shoot Hearty a look and she immediately apologises.
>"It's alright, i've already told him you can do things like that but he still got scared anyway. I suppose in the end he is a baby dragon after all."
>"I'll go calm him down, in the meantime can you two clean up the dishes?"
"Sure Twi, go see how spikes doing."
>She nods and trots up the stairs and you two begin to clean the dishes
>"Look 'Non i'm sorry, I didn't think he'd be that scared."
>You look down at where Hearty is sitting now with her head reattached and you sigh.
"I'm not mad, but I think you need to understand how scary somepony taking their head off would be."
>She looks down her at the floor and her ears fold down
>Shit now you've made the pone sad.
"Look Hearty, I love you but people are going to have to get used to you before you do any party tricks for them."
>"I've got you 'Non. I'll refrain from anymore of these tricks."
>You ruffle her mane and give her a kiss on the cheek
>So how are you going to bring up the whole Luna subject to her.
"So... Do you happen to know Princess Luna?"
>Unequivocal fear fills her features and she goes a ghostly pale
>You lean down and put your hands on her face
"Hearty, are you alright?"
>Several moments go by without her even responding.
>Now you've really screwed it up.
"Sweet Heart can you hear me?"
>She seems to break herself out of her trance and looks at you.
>"No. No... I don't know a Luna 'Non."
>She goes back to washing the dishes without another word.
"Do you want to go have a lie down honey?"
>She merely shakes her head and continues to levitate the dishes in her magic
>The two of you continue in silence the air thick with fear and nervousness.
>"Sorry for running away from you like that." Spike says startling Hearty out of her trance.
>You didn't even hear then coming back down.
>"No worries Spike after all, I should be 'pologizing after all."
>He shakes his head
>"I should respect the differences between every pony, even when they scare you half to death."
>Knowing Twilight she surely railroaded him into saying this and when you look over at her she shys away from your gaze nervously.
"Lets just put all this behind us and start again. Oh Twi do you have any books you think would be an interesting read?"
>You've just realised who you've asked this question to.
>Twilights eyes light up and she starts jabbering
>"Ooooh do I have a book for you! I just started reading about ponthagorus and the art of Vincent Van Hoofler, which I know are two very different types of mares but-"
>She trails on for a few minutes and you have a handful of books in your bags already.
"Sorry to interrupt you Twi but we've gotta get out of here real soon, so we'll take these and we'll see you round."
>The disappointment in her eyes is visible and you begin to feel a bit guilty
>"Thats alright there'll be another time to talk about Ahbramare Lincon and how she saved the United States of Equestria single hoofedly."
>That does sound like an interesting story and you mentally file it away to ask about later.
>"It was nice to meet you both and once 'gain sorry Spike."
>Spike just shakes his head once again and waves goodbye.
>The two of you walk out of the treebury and you decide to check once again if Hearty is alright.
"Hey Sweety, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to but I just want to hear you say you're alright."
>She looks at you and she just shakes her head.
>"Just old demons coming in to ruin this party of ours. Don't worry too much 'bout it 'Non."
>You're still unconvinced but you decide to let it go
"How about we head home for the rest of the day? We do have a lot of books to get through."
>"Aye, that does sound nice. Just a relaxing evening between you and I, and a whole lot of books." She ends the sentence with a chuckle.
Im a retard and forgot how to link here I guess.
I love that that little reference got caught. Character's intended to be Lemon Hearts, but I wholeheartedly approve your interpretation too!

>Would if I could, but my area of the world is fuuuuuuucked.

Somewhere in Ontario or Manitoba, isn't it? (I may be able to guess your identity from your writing style, but I don't have EVERYTHING memorized. And, no, there are no cameras. At least, none I'm responsible for.)

Still, there are things you can do without gym access.

You'd be surprised how much push-ups, sit-ups, bodyweight squats, planks, and similar calisthenic exercises can help if you make them a regular thing.

If you can find a couple of sawhorses and some heavy gloves so you don't get splinters, you have a dip station.

A decent hardwood dowel and some boat hooks can be installed in a doorway to create an impromptu pull-up bar.

I'd offer to show you some exercises, but I'm busy too... and I feel like it'd come dangerously close to the writeherd autism from way back in the day.
>Be Dusty Winter
>A long exhausting day trying to hold down multiple jobs is finally over as the sun sets and the moon is high in the sky.
>Just trying to find your way through the streets is difficult when its this dark.
>Plus its really late and you really aught to get in bed for work tomorrow.
>Ah you know, you'll just go down some of these allyways and you'll be home in no time.
>There seems to be a feint group of ponies further in the darkness and your blood runs cold.
>You've heard of these ponies they're a ruthless band of theives and criminals.
>They were even rumoured to be the ones who set a whoopie cushion under the mayors reserved seat on her birthday. The horror!
>Quickly you turn around to walk away but it seems you've already been spotted.
>"Well, Well, Well, what do we have here girls? A little straggler lost her way home?" A distinctly coltish voice calls from the shadows.
>Suddenly you're surrounded by some mares wearing the same masks marked with the theives insignia.
>A simple question mark on a green bandana.
>And yet it symbolised how utterly bucked you were.
>A towering figure emerged from the shadows.
>"What're you doing round these parts missy?" the giant says with a slightly mocking tone.
"I-I was just on my way out! I swear!" you say barely able to contain your fear.
>"You know what we do to mares who stick their snoots into other ponies business?" One of the mares with a vibrant green mane says.
"Please j-just let me go." you whimper.
>"Wheres your wallet?" Another mare asks greed glimmering in her eyes even in the darkness.
>You pull out your wallet from your saddle bag and place it on the ground.
"There thats it! That's all I have! Please just let me go!"
>You fall to the ground and hold your hooves above your head.
>The mares take the wallet to the figure in the darkness.
>"Boss, she's got nothing but a few bits." you hear one of the mares whisper.
>"Hmmmm. You don't seem to have too much. Times must be tough." once again the voice of the figure says
"Y-yes sir. I barely have enough to feed my foals." you begin to tear up as you say this bringing up horrible memories of the abject squallor you live in.
>"Why are you getting home so late to them then?"
"I've just finished up my last shift of the day. I'm working three jobs just to get by." your nervoness tears through your voice.
>"I see. You must love them a lot then, how about I make you an offer then."
>You look up to see the figure walking out of the shadows and towards you.
>The stallion was in a tattered suit, broken and ripped from wear and with a green face he towered over you almost doubling your size.
>"You want to help your family right?" He looks over to one of the mares beside him and grabs the wallet from her.
>He offers you your wallet back and you trepedatiously take it from him.
>"Then why don't you work with us? I assure you we'll pay more than any job you'll find around here."
>You look up at him not understanding whether this was all a cruel joke to bring your hopes up and crush them again.
>He extends his spider hoof as a gesture of agreement.
>You could help you're whole family with this money.
>If he's being truthful after all.
>Before you even realise it you've reached out your own hoof towards his.
>He helps you up to your hooves and pats the dust off your barrel.
>"You're part of the family now."
>"Saphire, Summer get this mare home." He pulls out a small bag of bits and you gawk at it
>He hands the small bag to you and you can only stare at the stallion.
>That is until you remember your manners that your papa taught you.
"Thank you so much sir! Thank you! Thank you!" You say with tears streaming down your cheeks.
>His only response is to nod and to fade back into the shadows.
>The two mares acompany you at your sides.
>"So where do you live Newbie?" the one with the soft green mane and silky blue coat asks.
"Over in the south district." you point down the street to emphasis it.
>She nods and continues walking in that direction with you at her side.
"Who was that back there?" you ask nervously.
>"You mean the boss? Hah he's always like that. He may act tough but once you get to know him he's a big softy. But I'm warning you if you manage to anger him there's no telling what he might do. One time he even-"
>"That's enough saph, all you need to know greeny is that if you rat us out, you'll be finding alot more pies in your life capeesh?"
>Wait hold up, pies?! What horrible things have you gotten into now.
>Summer notices your hesitation and says
>"Relax, that's only if you rat us out after all. Wouldn't want to do something like that to a new family member."
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>Be Anon
>Living it up in your slick digs in the worst part of town
>Ok well you lied about it being slick but still you do what you can when you run a crime family in little ol' Manehatten
>You're still thinking about that mare you picked up last night.
>She seemed like a sweet mare, on rough times for sure. Although that was a pretty common story around here.
>Everypony you gathered into this little family was once a straggler just trying to get by when you first met them.
>Even in this paradise there are still ponies who fall through the cracks and are willing to do anything to survive.
>Though the standards are pretty low for horrifyingly awful crimes here and ponies seem to think you're some kind of monster.
>A quiet knock sounds out from your door and you look up from the papers you were shuffling.
"Come on in."
>Slowly a mare with a white coat and streaming green mane slips her head in through the gap
>You instantly recognise the mare as Hefty Coffers and wave her in
"I told you before Hefty, you don't need to creep around like that. I ain't gonna bite your head off."
>"Uhm, yes, sorry boss. I've heard we've gained a new family member, Sapphire and Sunny just got back now and they've said they safely escorted her home."
>You nod thankful that the sweet thing made it home safetly.
>Although you don't want to shove her flank end into a job, she'll have to learn the ropes of it all eventually.
"Tell Saphire she'll be taking the new girl on a checkup on that bakery down the road, you know the one?"
>Hefty dilligently nods
"I'll be coming along too, I want to see how this new girl goes first hand."
>Slightly shocked Hefty takes only a moment more to nod once again.
>"Anything else sir?"
>You ponder a moment. You still need to plan that your expansion into the Red Wing's territory.
"Nothing else for now..."
>She turns away to leave but as she does you call her back.
"Wait a moment Hefty. Come here a moment and just sit with me."
>Her eyes become wide and a hint of nervousness fills her.
>After a moment she gains her bearings she takes a seat oposite to you.
>She sits there in complete silence not knowing what to say.
>After briefly inspecting her you hum in contemplation.
>"Sir?" she says nervousness filling her voice.
>Ah of course that's whats different about her.
"I like your new manecut, suits you Hefty."
>"Thank you sir." a slight blush fills her features.
"Did we get any reports from Rough Saddle?"
>"Not yet sir but we are expecting Saddle to be back soon."
"With good news i'd hope, nothings been turning out the way we want recently."
>She nods and waits for you to ask her something else.
>However you reach over and tussle her mane and give her a small smile and her snoot scrunches in retaliation.
"Thats all I needed you for Hefty, although if you want to stay I wouldn't complain, Plenty of cider here."
>"Thank you sir, but I aught to get back to my duties sir."
>You merely nod and smile as she leaves.
>You remember when you first met that mare.
>Part of the mayors personal guard, watching over the mayors personal treasury when one day the Horned Hellions raided the place.
>She was the only one left as she wasn't swayed by the sweet temptations that the gangs had set out to lure the guards.
>However she was blindsided by a banana pie to the back of the head.
>It left her out of the job for days and when she was able to serve again, she was deemed not fit for duty.
>Jobless and without much left to live for she spent her days in donut shops indulging her sweet tooth untill she was kicked out by the owners themselves.
>One such time you managed to see her be kicked out of a donut shop right in front of you and so you asked a few questions about who she was.
>And now we're here. She's a little bit strict with how she carries herself but shes makes up for that with how cute she is-
>I mean how reliable and good she is at information collecting.
>Gotta keep in the mindset of being a crime boss after all.
>You look over at the clock in your delapidated hideout and you see that its well into the hours of the morn.
>Rubbing your eyes, you get up from your chair and head over to the doors of your office.
>Hoots and hollers come from inside one of the rooms, must just be the mares playing dice again.
>Might as well check in on them, walking closer to the door your suddenly accosted by a mare with a purple coat and a lushious blue mane.
>Midnight Blue.
>"Sorry boss! I didn't see you there."
>You realise you're now covered in punch its stickyness already beginning to seep into your clothes.
>You sigh and resign yourself to this fate.
"It's alright Nighty. Just watch where you're going next time."
>"Will do boss! Sorry boss." She begins to sweat at the perceived pressure you're putting her under.
>Laughing you just shake your head.
>You really can't get mad at these ponies they're just too cute.
>Specially this little devil.
>Ever since you met her she's been eager to prove herself to the family and as clumsy as she may be, she is FAST.
"Alright head on in and tell the girls I said 'hi', i've got to get myself cleaned up."
>"Sorry again boss!" She says as she enters the room.
>You've got to get yourself cleaned up.
>Walking down these hallways brings back a sense of nostalgia, of better times.
>Back when you still had your mentor around, Rough Copper was a mean old bitch but she always did have a soft spot for you.
>She taught you all you could ever want to know about this business and when she passed on, well she had no one better than you.
>When you finally reach the door to your bedroom you open it and slip inside.
>You flick the switch and hope the light still works.
>Well this is why you always keep a firelamp nearby.
>You reach towards where you last put it and sure enough its still there.
>A few flicks and the firebugs are alight once more.
>The light envelops the room as you walk deeper into it looking for the small closet that holds your few belongings.
>Ah here it is.
>A few tattered suits and a large bag of bits lies in one of the drawers and you take off your clothes and set up the next suit for tomorrow.
>You throw yourself onto the bed barely bothering to raise the sheets above you and you drift off into sleep.
>The morning Manehatten air is what greeted you first, the overpowering smell of smoke and the ever choking grime.
>You got out of bed and put on another tattered suit, putting the other into a washing basket for later.
>A rap at your door gathers your attention as you're getting dressed.
"Come on in!"
>The door slides open and Sapphire enters the room.
>"Mornin' bos-"
>She goes from a beautiful blue to a cherry red in an instant, her face filled with blush.
>"Sorry boss, i'll come back in a bit."
>These ponies are oddly afraid of seeing you partially nude.
"It's quite alright Saph, just tell me what you need to."
>She reappears from behind the door and is slightly less red.
>"We've got the Newbie out front boss. I heard that you were tagging along with us on this run?"
"Thats right, i've got to see how this new girl's going to fit in around here."
>You look out the window to see her waiting in the yard.
>"You got it boss, we'll be waiting outside for you, do you think we'll need anything for this?"
"No probably not, just be on your guard when we're out there, the Horns have been pushing in on our territory recently."
Let me know if you guys want more of this, I'll keep writing this but I might not post it.
Of course not, faggots gonna act like faggots.
Anon, that manga get linked here at least every 5-6 threads, how new are you ?
Hell yes.
This is really cute! Tho it feels real light on the rgre, but if you can bring up some in future installments we'd love to see more
I'm liking it, although its more kinderquestria than Rgre at the moment.
I'd agree that it does feel pretty light on RGRE unlike my other stories where its fairly on the nose but i'll find a way to fit that in and further cement it
>wife want to make a (magical) tranny out of your son
I hope she has a cunt-punting fetish.
Don't spoonfeed.
>cuntpunt waifu
>foot gets stuck
You have my full attention sir.
This is far different sounding than my normal reads, but I have high hopes for it.
Somewhere around there, yeah. Suffice to say, our MP's a fucking tool and I hope he gets the coof. Dying would be the most useful thing he's ever done in his career; at least then he'd be replaced by someone with a brain.

That's some good advice. There isn't a lot of room in my house (if there were, that shitty VR headset I bought would be a lot more fun) but I'll see what I can make due with. Push-ups, squats, and things that don't need a lot of space are a pretty good idea. I don't have my old job of picking things up and putting them back down somewhere else anymore, so I should probably try and stay in shape some other way.
Anon, you must continue this green or celestia help me because Im going to fucking cry if you left me with out this great green.
That was damn good shit. Keep going please.
This could be fun too. Anon is the bachelor.

Sad to see the green go. I thought it was a good idea. I'm happy you've found your muse though. Drop some pics here. I'll gladly give you a follow once you're back up and running.
Most excellent.


well it would be nice to see just what you got planned
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>"These are fantastic! Thanks a million for the speed order, Anon!"
>You don't look up from the miniature you had in your hands, hunched over your work table with your bright ass light
>You were in your hobby shop
>It was a quiet Tuesday afternoon, and you were working on a buggo army
>The client wanted standard colors, for her two hundred model army
>Thank god
>Standing right next to your table, examining the army of Space Marines that you had somehow managed to paint, despite your busy, busy schedule, was Silver Spoon
>She looked thrilled as she looked over the entire army
>She better
>The Imperial Tits were a pain in the ass to paint
>Fucking yellow...
"Don't be woman-handling those too much," you said. "I still need to varnish them."
>"But they're so NEAT!" Silver replied, pushing her glasses up her nose as she continued to stare wide-eyed at her new captain. "You freehanded the tit on the pauldron and everything!"
"That's what you get when you commission me," you replied, cleaning your brush in a cup of water you had nearby. "Just do me a favor and give me some warning next time. I'm busy enough as is."
>"Oh, business is picking up?"
"Picking up? I had a girl come in the other day offering me five times the standard rate if I thinned the paints I put on her models with water that I dunked my foot into."
>Silver nearly dropped the model in her hand, head whipping around to look at you
>"What?! Really?"
"Oh yeah," you said with a slight nod. "Had the cash ready too. Easiest ten k I ever made."
>Silver put down her model, stepping closer to you
>She looked pretty upset
>"Hey, if anyone gets too creepy let me know," she said, putting a hand on your shoulder. "I know I'm a bit far, but I'll make the drive if you're being harassed."
>You stopped painting for a second to look up at her
>She looked back down with a deadly serious expression
>Silver had always been protective of you, even when you all were little kids in Mrs. Cheerilee's class
>Once, she knocked Twist's tooth out because the girl pinched your nose really hard and made you cry
>You remember her mom being so proud
"I'll be alright," you said with a smile, turning your attention back toward your work. "Most of the girls are harmless. If anyone gets too weird I just call Applejack and Applebloom. They sort stuff out real quick."
>"Still," Silver said, chewing on the inside of her lip. "I'm just an hour away. If I can't get here Diamond definitely can."
>You couldn't help but snort
"Well, it's nice you city gals care about a poor old country boy so much," you said, hamming the country accent up to eleven. "I'll be getting the vapors, I swear I will."
>Silver giggled, giving your shoulder a smack
>"You quit that."
"Quit what, ma'am. Aw yessur, yessur. I can rightly guess whatcha talkin' about right there."
>Silver's giggles turned into laughter
>She and Diamond came back to town pretty much every week, mostly because their dads would nag them to death otherwise, but you liked to think they came down here from Canterlot to see you too
>Your front door opened, and someone stepped inside
>You looked up
>And there she was, speak of the devil
>Diamond Tiara
>Forbes' top business woman for the last two years
>The head of a half dozen fortune 500 companies
>On her way to be one of the youngest billionaires in history
>Also a girl that you knew for a FACT peed her pants while you were all walking through a haunted maze when you were twelve
>She was dressed to the nines in a suit that was probably worth more than your car
>Hell, the haircut she got probably cost more than your car...
"Well, well, well, look who the cat dragged in," you said, putting the model and your paintbrush down to rub your tired eyes
>Diamond licked her tongue, her nose scrunching up
>She looked around your hobby shop, then at you
>"I see this dump is still up and running," she said
"Hey, easy with that dump stuff. It's not my fault the one holding onto my loan was a cheapskate."
>Diamond snorted, making her way toward you
>"Worst investment I think I've ever made, and that's saying something," she said, walking around the counter so that she stood to your right
>Diamond had always liked to loom over people
>She wasn't a big girl--honestly, she was on the shorter side--but she always really had a talent for it, even when you were little
>She would cross her arms over her chest, do that eyebrow raise that her dad taught her, and in no time at all she'd have most people squirming
>This tactic was how she had won a lot of business, brokering deals and all that stuff
>A bunch of boring, technical business jargon
>Silver had always been way more interested in it than you
>Probably why she was Diamond's assistant and making six figures, were you were here living your dreams in Ponyville supplying plastic crack to the locals
>She was trying her best to loom over you right now
>You just stared back, trying not to yawn
"So, how's your dad doing?"
>"Fine. He insists that you come over to visit him soon," Diamond said, reaching down to pick up one of the finished buggos. "He said something about wine."
"Wine gives me headaches. I can't take sugar with my alcohol," you said
>"Except with cider," Silver said, getting her dirty fingers all over her nice, clean dreadnought
"Except with cider," you agreed. "To be fair though, that doesn't really count."
>You watched as Diamond picked up the centerpiece model for the buggo army
>It was a Forgeworld model
>Very large, stupidly expensive, and a pain in the ass to clean and assemble
"You be careful with that," you said. "It took me three days to put that thing together."
>Diamond scoffed
>"Three days for this? Sweet Goddess."
>She put it back down
>"I'll never understand what you see in these stupid things."
"Hey, these stupid things pay the bills," you said. "Pretty well too, for your information."
>"You know what would pay better? You stopping this nonsense and coming back to Canterlot with us," Diamond said, leaning down do you were nose-to-nose. "I have enough room in my apartment for you somewhere. You can cook my food, clean the place up; you'll be my own little maid."
>She gave you a nasty smile, a twinkle in her eye
>"I'll even get some outfits ordered for you. Black and white, with a lot of frills. You won't have to worry your cute little head about any of this stuff anymore. Let a woman take care of you."
>Silver was no longer holding any of her models
>In fact, she was as far away from you and Diamond as was possible in this, admittedly, small shop
>She didn't look nervous, per se, but she no longer looked completely at ease
>Why you had no idea
>You weren't some little kid
>You would take the teasing with dignity and grace, and then you'd respond in an acceptable way
>Taking a deep breath, you released it
>Standing up, you made your way into the very back of your office, where you had a small bathroom
>Employees only, of course
>Back there you had some nice soap from Bath, Body, and Beyond
>Pumpkin Sweet Tart
>Very nice
>Had that nice aloe in it to keep your hands soft too
>Wetting your hands, you proceeded to wash them thoroughly
>You mean humming happy birthday four times, cleaning between fingers thoroughly
>Once you were finished and you had dried off your hands, you made your way back out in front, where a bemused Diamond was waiting
>"And just what were you doing back there?" she asked. "Powdering your nose?"
>You sat back down on your stool
>Looking her in the eye, you lifted your hand, wiggling your pointer and middle finger at her
>Her smile twitched, and the faintest of blushes made its way onto her face
>Not breaking eye contact, you stuck both fingers into your mouth
>The next few seconds were spent getting them as slick with spit as possible before pulling them back out
>Your other hand went down to unbutton Diamond's pants
>She jumped, but didn't move away
>"W-What are you doing?" she said, face turning even redder. "I--"
>You slipped your spit-covered fingers down her pants and her panties
>She gasped as you slipped them inside of her
>Her eyes widened, her body jerked, and one of her hands snapped up to grab your shoulder
"Silver, be a dear and let me know if anyone's about to come through the door," you said
>Out of the corner of your eye you could see Silver, blushing just like Diamond, nod
>You slowly pushed your fingers as deep into Diamond as you could
>With the angle, her pants blocking the way, and how she was standing, it was only an inch or two, but even so she let out a groan
>You could feel her tensing around your fingers
>You stayed where you were, letting her get used to the sensation
>While you waited, you reached up to unbutton her jacket
>The buttons were always tricky on this particular one, but this wasn't your first rodeo
>Diamond was quick to help, finishing the last few buttons with shaky hands
>You chuckled, giving her a kiss
"Who's my good little girl?" you cooed.
>Diamond immediately turned cheery red
>She tried to look up at the door, but you grabbed her by the collar, keeping her right where she was as you began to slowly pump your fingers slowly in and out of her
>"Oh.... FUCK," she said through gritted teeth, knees knocking together as you rubbed her clit with your thumb
>Her other hand found its way onto your other shoulder, fingernails digging into your shirt
"Someone like that?" you asked, kissing her again. "Did you miss me that much, hmm?"
>"Yessssss," she said, leaning toward you
>Her hair fell all around her face as she looked down, watching as your hand pumped faster and faster
>Being a gentleman, you pushed some of the hair out of her face so you could get a good look at her face
>Her eyes were squinted, her mouth set in a thin line
>With each pump her cheeks would concave and puff out
>Your hand quickly became slick with more than spit as you continued to finger one of the most powerful women in this part of the country
>Slowing down, you curled your fingers, dragging them against her inner walls
>Her breathing hitched as you brushed against a particular spot
>It felt different than the rest of her
>Just a hair coarser
>Diamond's eyes nearly popped out of her skull when you touched it, the girl letting out a gasp
>Usually, you wouldn't play with her g-spot until a bit later, but things needed to hurry along
>You, Diamond, and Silver had never been caught while fooling around in your shop, and you didn't want that happening anytime soon, thank you very much
>You stopped your pumping, instead rubbing your fingers all over her g-spot
>Groaning, she sank to her knees
>You got down onto the floor with her, still playing her like a fiddle
"Call me daddy and I'll play with your tits before you finish," you whispered
>She looked up at you, biting her lower lip
>Both of her hands grabbed your arm as she let out a whine, her back arching
>"Don't m-make me... say it."
"Say it."
>You reached up, grabbing a fistful of her hair and gave it a yank
>Her pussy clamped down on your fingers, and she shut her eyes
"Come on. Say it. You look me in the eye and call me daddy."
>You stopped your finger wiggling, now just pumping your fingers as quickly as you could
>Diamond's hips began to buck, her chest heaving
>You let go of her hair, touching her face, then her neck
>You unbuttoned the first two buttons of her dress shirt
>Diamond never wore a bra--she could never find a size that would fit her--meaning her girls were right there ready for the playing
>She looked at you, then at your hand, letting out another whimper
>You opened and closed it, eyebrow raised
"One work. Two syllables. That's all I want."
>She didn't want to
>You could tell from the look on her face that she absolutely didn't want to
>But, as the seconds ticked by, you watched as her resolve crumble
>Bit by bit
>Little by little
>You had to give it to her, she lasted a long while
>So long that your hand was starting to cramp
>But, with one final whimper, she looked you in the eye
>You grinned
"Atta girl."
>Pushing the dress shirt away, you got a handful of tit
>You squeezed
>That was enough
>Diamond slumped forward, hugging your arm as she soaked your hand, her VERY expensive pants, and your floor, her mouth open in a wordless cry
>You pinched her nipple, still fingering her through her orgasm, not stopping until all the tension left her body
>Only then did you pull your hand out of her pants, leaning her against you so she didn't fall over
"There's a good girl," you said, giving her head a pat with your clean hand
>You looked at the cum-covered one, bringing it toward your face and giving your fingers a lick
"Ugh, you taste super bitter," you said, making a face. "You need to quit eating all the fast food. Fruit and veggies. More water too."
>Diamond just let out a groan as you licked your hand clean, looking over up over your table at Silver Spoon
>She wasn't watching the door like you had asked
>Instead, she was staring at you, groping a tit, which she had no doubt been doing since your hand went down Diamond's pants
>Thank God above no one walked into your shop...
>Silver had her pants around her ankles, giving you a full view of her heavenly lower body
>Diamond had tits and ass for days, a true hourglass figure, but Silver was all legs and ass
>Her legs might have been bigger than Applejacks, and her ass was round, firm, and just...
>You could bounce a bit off of it and it'd shoot to the moon
>Her mom hated how many pants she had to go through when puberty hit
>Kids used to make fun of her for it
>Thankfully, even as a young man you had superior taste compared to your peers
>Silver, seeing you stare, gave her ass a wiggle
>That, in turn, caused Lil Anon to wiggle
>You grabbed Diamond by her armpits
>With some grunting and lifting, you had her in your stool, with you standing next to her
>Her face was still flushed, and she looked dazed, but she wasn't going to fall off the stool
"You okay there, sweetie?" you asked
>Diamond just nodded, trying to pull herself together
>Silver whistled
>When you looked over at her she gave you a wink, stepping out of her pants and kicking them away
>She then grabbed her leg, lifting it up toward her head
>Her dad had wanted her to be a gymnast when she was little
>You fucking loved that man
>Walking over, you slung the girl over your shoulder, much to her delight
"Diamond, do me a favor and watch the store. I need a half hou--"
>"An hour," Silver interrupted firmly
>You looked at her, thought it over, and nodded
"--I need an HOUR with Silver so she can pay me back for her army. You know where everything is. If you need anything just give me a holler."
>With that, you made your way toward the stairs, where your bedroom was


>Be Applebloom
>Be making your way through the market with apple fritters in hand
>Granny had made too many, and had told you to take them to your cousin Anon
>The boy loved fritters, even more than most Apples
>Which sure as sugar was saying something
>You didn't mind, you loved your cousin, and you liked looking at the do-dads that he had around his store
>It was about closing time for him, but you knew that he kept the front door open for an hour or two after
>You could see it a ways down the street
>Mr. Davenport had sold Anon his quill and sofa shop after he retired and moved down south
>Anon had doubled the size of the building, but it seemed even smaller than it was somehow
>Probably because he had stuff crammed in there from floor to ceiling
>Anon said that he wanted to have a little of everything his his customers
>You figured he just liked to buy stuff, like any boy
>In just a few minutes, you crossed the market to the shop
>Opening the door, you were greeted with the familiar jingle of the door bell; your gift to him when he first opened this place
"Anon, I hope yer hungry. I got some--"
>Anon wasn't sitting at his counter, leaned over some little army girl like he usually was
>Instead, there was Diamond Tiara
>She looked half-asleep, her tits hanging out and her pants undone
>Kinda looked like she peed herself too
>Closing the door behind you, you gave the air a sniff
>It smelled like sex in here
>Listening carefully, you swore you could hear giggling coming from upstairs
>Diamond looked up at you, blinking slowly
>"Hi," she said tiredly, lifting up a hand in greeting
>Shaking your head, you switched the open sign to closed and locked the door
>You weren't dumb, you could put two and two together
>By rights, you would go over and beat the stuffing out of Diamond for taking advantage of your cousin
>The thing was that you knew Anon
>The horndog was the one that started it; you knew that for a fact
>He had been like that with Diamond and Silver Spoon ever since you all were real little
>Applejack used to tell a story how he went up to Mrs. Rich and Mrs. Spoon, saying that he was going to marry their daughters when he was in first grade
>He was a weird one
>Not even a Janeboy either
>It was like he was wired different
>Granny said all boys his side of the family were like that
>More like girls than boys in pretty much every way
>Your pappy was like that too, Granny said, and it looked like Big Mac was much the same
>Some of your earliest memories were you all having a sleepover and Anon would just be in a pile with Diamond and Silver
>He liked to hug Diamond, while Silver was pressed against his back
>Your folks all thought it was adorable
>The three had been inseparable, all through school
>Anon didn't go to college like the other two, but they visited him every weekend, a tradition that still continued all these years later
"Anon upstairs?" you asked, walking over and putting the fritters on the counter
>Diamond nodded, helping herself with a fritter
"Ya know, ya should at least put yer blouse back on."
>Your friend just grunted
>You just looked at her, crossing your arms
"What are ya gonna quit messin' around an' marry that boy?" you asked. "Yer dad won't quit botherin' me about it."
>"When I make a billion dollars," Diamond grumbled
"Why then?"
>Diamond smiled
>"Then I'll be almost good enough for him."
>You laughed, giving her shoulder a smack
"If'n that ain't the most boyish darn thing I ever did hear," you said with a grin
>Diamond just gave you a dirty look, eating another fritter
"Well, ya better hurry up. I'd like ya to be my cousin n' law someday soon."
>Diamond smiled as you grabbed a fritter yourself, taking a bite of it
"But seriously though, put away yer tits, ya fruity dyke."
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I like it. It's a little kinderquestria, but not in a way that takes away from the story. Instead of being cutesy "I got a booboo and that pony called me a meany head" shit, you included certain realities like ponies having to work multiple horrible jobs just to get by, and (sugar) addiction being a real thing that has the societal consequences of real actual addiction. The new mare got kicked out of the guard after being hit by a pie, sure, but she was slapped with the real-life bullshit excuse of "being unfit for duty", complete with no severance pay. You mentioned she lived in squalor, but I'm willing to bet that what it means is comparable to how a human would define 'squalor', and not a typical kinderquestria version of it; ie living in a nice cottage but not being able to afford bedtime cookies, or something like that.

You made the kinderquestria stuff an overlay over hard reality instead of the central theme that governs how the world operates, and I think I like it. It's easy to ruin a story by embracing a theme too much to the point where it overrides anything else, but you avoided that. I'm looking forward to more.
Reminds me of a very short greentext, where Anon went to boop a pony's snoot but accidentally stuck his finger up her nose.
This hurts my heart and my soul, and you've destroyed NNN for me. Billionaire waifus never
I like, but aught means "all or everything" or "nothing", and ought means "should."
I hope we see more of this one, I like DT and SS getting along with AB and the apples. And there's some drama.
>>She was dressed to the nines in a suit that was probably worth more than your car
>>Diamond never wore a bra--she could never find a size that would fit her--meaning her girls were right there ready for the playing
I realize it's just an excuse for lewdness, but it's absurd that she couldn't get a bra tailored to fit her perfectly no matter what size she was.
If she just refused to wear a bra outright as some kind of show of dominance, that would make more sense.
"I'm Diamond Tiara, and I don't have to wear a bra. I'm rich and powerful enough that I'm gonna show off my nipples through my shirt, the fuck you gonna do about it you chestlets?"
Great green anon, Im going to fucking save it in my pc, and I want to see more so start making more pls.
This was nice. I liked this a lot.
I love it. TD and SS best waifus
Paste story and link it pls
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I’d be interested in seeing more
This was excellent, good world building, no bullshitting with the lewds, excellent character interactions, I almost felt like I was there, seeing the scenes unfold as I read it.

This is a great stand alone, really great it does what it needs to do and doesn't fuck around, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want more of these characters. So, writefriend, moar pls?
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Sooo is there going to be green about Moondancer or not?
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Here's the fix
But in my defense I was too distracted from the G
No apologies needed, that G is SSS++ tier and worthy of all distractions.
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>Diamond licked her tongue...
>licked her tongue

Yeah, sometime in the wee small hours of the morning once all my higher priorities are done.

(Fucked up my sleep schedule last night and I'm paying for it now.)
>he can't contort his tongue
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>"What are ya gonna quit messin' around an' marry that boy?" you asked. "Yer dad won't quit botherin' me about it."
>>"When I make a billion dollars," Diamond grumbled
>"Why then?"
>>Diamond smiled
>>"Then I'll be almost good enough for him."

>tfw nobody will ever express this sentiment about you
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Digits as wasted as your life, bro.
Don't talk to it.
You're both right.
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something something rgre i dunno man i have a migraine
This is hilarious, absolutely keep posting it!
Just a quick interest check on the Hearty green, anyone still interested or should I focus solely on the mafia mares?
do what you like to do anon
i like both
I'm going to be writing Hearty in my own time, it'll just be more relaxed if people don't want me to post it here / want me to focus more on mafia.
I appreciate the hearty story, but if you want to focus on the mafia story, that's all right.
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>20 years ago, Anon's kid brother went missing
>no explanation, no culprits, just up and disappears from his bed one night
>the news media runs the usual coverage, and some conspiracy people blame it on ZOG and such, but life, eventually, goes on
>after a long day at work, Anon returns home to see a portal in his living room
>out steps a purple pegacorn thing, a pegasus with gay pride hair, and an effeminate, 5'5 trap wearing nothing but a banana hammock
>the trap runs up and hugs him
>"Omigosh, Anon, I'm finally home! It's me, Incognito, remember!"
>he points to the technicolor horses
>"This is my herd, Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash!"
>they wave
>"I'd have brought the foals too, but they’re pretty tired, so daddy put them down for nappies. Where's mom and dad? And where's your herd, for that matter?"
>oh dear
>something something cultural misunderstandings, something something Anon teaches his brother about humanity
>Anon’s kid brother is a complete sissy
>it’s as if he was raised by........Fags
>Anon has to teach his little bro how to be a man
>does the opposite
>ends up fucking him
>something something rgre
/lgbt/ is this way >>>/lgbt/
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>ayy girl does not how to respond to the increased attention she gets from guys
>even more so when the portal the earth opened
>her boss just gives her a wink and a thumbs up when a huge line of earth boys line up in front of her
>they keep complimenting you're girls
>they're not that big are they?
>oh no spaghetti please stay inside
More on the ball this time than last. LaP's thing with DT and SS earlier this thread has been binned. Once again if he puts it up on his bin I'll take my version down. Still too lazy to get a zip of everything I have in case of idiocy.
>LaP's thing with DT and SS earlier
Welp, so much for seeing more of it then. Thanks for binning, Skellybro.
Head there then faggot and stop shilling your boys in dresses
GamerThot Anon is now on ponepaste:

Fauster, you're doing God's work, keep it up!
>GamerThot Anon
Really liking this. Keep at it, please.
>changed for the better
But anon, he WAS a change for the better!
personality doesn't get my dick hard, but it is one hell of a bonus.
>>36153381 #
That's a poke in the feels man. The sappy romance part of me wants her to have her man but I can't deny this was emotionally compelling. Thanks for the art too and I look forward to reading the next update.
I'm still interested, just can't post all the time.
A recurring paladin/holy sword in Final Fantasy is the Save the Queen.
For some reason, I want to do a story revolving around a knightly mare who uses a magical sword called Save the King instead.
Any ideas?
This just honestly reminds me of that one Prompt/Green where Anon has a kid but it's a huge monstrosity reminiscent of some FF boss monster or whatever. Who just happened to be a stereotypical colt who just HAPPENED to be McFuckHuge.

Any who, for ideas, maybe she has to go save a Royal Dignitary? Not exactly a Prince or King but how many of those are out there? Or she could be out and about and thinks she has to save Anon when he has the situation handled. Flip it around if you wanted and have it to where he ends up ACTUALLY needing her help.

You could even mix and match prompts: Perhaps Anon's Monstrous but sweet colt needs escorted/saved? Or perhaps it's Princesses Celestia worried about Anonicorn and your Knight Mare finally thinks she has a chance to use Save the King. It's a Prince but it'd be close enough!

I dunno, but there's a few ideas there to untangle if you or anyone else wants to.
>Any ideas?
Flesh out the idea, because knight has named sword isn't anything to go on.
>Marely mare has inherited the Save the King blade from her clan's in-house knightly order
>The bearer of the sword is said to be a mare of exceptional power and character, and will be called to use these gifts in a great destiny
>Except one problem
>There aren't any kings that need saving
>Disgruntled horse noises
>Simultaneously, Anonicorn is living the life
>He's finally figured out how to walk without either tripping himself as he did when he was younger, nor rip up the marble as he did when his earth pony strength started kicking in proper not too long ago
>He can fly well enough without immediately careening into the ground, and can even cast some rudimentary spells!
>Obviously nothing in comparison to his mother or aunt, or even really in comparison to normal ponies, but it's still an objective improvement and he's fine with that
>Of course just as he starts getting comfortable with being semi-competent, he gets kidnapped
>The call is put out for aid in helping save the crown prince, and a certain mare decides that it should be good enough if he's gonna be a king eventually, right?
What if instead of the regular "Magic Sword" trope it's the opposite.
Since Equestria is so saturated with magic, what if the sword was completely devoid of magic, or it sucks it up like a sponge?

So it could for example cut through spells, disrupting them.
Just read Weiss and Hickmans Darksword series if that's what you're into. It's old, but it's a good read and a decent take on being magicless in a magic saturated world.
>generic adventure fantasy request
Meh. This isn't Generic Green General; if you just want fantasy pone there are better places to look.
>Anon is trapped inside a tower after he gets isekai'd
>He's waiting for someone to help him out
>Incomes Applejack
>"Ah got myself a prince!"
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>>Anon is trapped inside a tower after he gets isekai'd
>>He's waiting for someone to help him out
>instead of a knight, it's a dragoness that rescues him
Anon is sending out letters trying to help from outside world as there isba curse preventing him from leaving.
Even have a ton of gold that seems to be squirrels away by what no doubt was an insane wizard.
Offers all the gold for anyone to come and free him.
Issue is that the universal translation charm on his letters is faulty.
Anon is Nigerian prince begging for help, but requires private information of any aide to key them into the wards of the tower.
>it's a kinderquestria knock-off kobold that rescues him
>Anon becomes the most wanted "treasure" for a dragon's hoard
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and wholesome
>Anon the blacksmith gets a lot of odd looks.
>Half of them from being the only human in Equestria.
>Half for being a blacksmith despite being a colt.
>And another half for permanently draining the magic out of steal he works a long time on.
>So yeah, a lot of odd looks.
>He also has a hard time selling his wares because ponies assume that no magic means no good, so he usually just sells kitchen ware as a novelty to tourists visiting Canterlot.
>One mare, however, looks at his creations in a different light.
>She had bought a couple kitchen knifes and did experiments, and found the properties to her liking.
>Won't Anon be surprised when he gets a commission for the finest sword he can make by none other than the new Captain of the Guard now that Shining has moved to the Crystals Empire.
That's all I've got.
>Get's isekaied.
>Anon was murdered by infamous Japanese serial killer, Truck-kun, and still has nightmares.
>He sees those headlights coming for him and wakes up in a cold sweat.
>He remembers the feel of his bones snapping, his skin being shredded by the road, his foot being ripped off in the undercarriage.
>Ponies around him worry for him, thinking his lack of sleep and grumpy disposition is from homesickness.
>Thus Twilight decides to surprise him with a trip to the human world.
>They step through the mirror, and are greeted by Applejack and the others in her families truck, ready to take Anon on a day of adventures.
>He shrieks and pisses himself as he comes face-to-face with his nightmare come alive.
The Hearty story is just super shallow.
Damn that must be the cutest pic of Ember yet
I like thing.

I very much would like you to continue. I've enjoyed the story so far.
It's interesting but doesn't seem very RGRE. I do like the touch of kinderquestria. I read one too many of that and it grew tiresome quickly.

I miss that green pic was originally for.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I've waifu'd SS and DT for a long time now and this pushed all the right buttons for me. Excellent world building and characterizations. I'd love to read more about this trip.

>"Well, ya better hurry up. I'd like ya to be my cousin n' law someday soon."
Muh heart

>"But seriously though, put away yer tits, ya fruity dyke."
Hearty kek.

Is that you /tg/n?
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>tfw you get invited to a sleepover
>tfw Rainbow manages to get some alcohol
>tfw someone suggests that you all play truth or dare
>tfw there's no way in hell you're gonna lose
If theres tequila involved then probably im gonna end face first in some tits and i hope those tits belong to flutterbutter
>After fitting on your shirt you go to meet the two mares outside.
>"So when you see the boss, you treat him like the boss. Not just like any other stallion, you hear me Newbie?" you over hear Sapphire telling the Newbie.
"Winter, Sapphire. Are you both ready to go?"
>"Sir, if you don't mind me asking, how do you know my name?" Winter says as though shes shocked
"It's my job to know about everypony in this family." you say strictly and with serious tone.
"I assume Sapphire's already told you what we're going out to do?"
>Sapphire nods and looks over at Winter
>"We're just here to collect protection money from the bakery, sir."
>At least she can keep her ears open.
"Alright get your bandanas ready, Winters you get the choice of where you want to carry it. Obviously as long as its seen and we can identify you as one of the family it'll be fine."
>She wraps it around her left hoof and the green stands out against her yellow coat quite nicely.
"Good let's get moving then." You say as you walk off towards the nearby bakery.
>When you reach the small bakery you are greeted by two mares with red sunglasses waiting outside of the bakery.
>Oh shit.
>"Look what we have her Tides, it appears the colt boss and his lapdogs are here."
>"What do you think we should do to 'em Lotus? I've got a new marker i've been itching to use and their faces look like a great target."
"What do you two think you're doing on OUR turf?" you say with aggravation in your voice.
>"Do you think this stallions daft Tides?"
>"Of course, he is a stallion after all, let me put it clearly for you this our turf colt, why don't you turn that fine flank around and go bring me a sandwich?"
>Both the mares laugh at this.
>Winter is getting visibly agitated at these insults.
>"How dare you speak down to a stallion like that? I should to slap you for sayin' that." Winter barks.
>"Oh no Lotus! What ever will we do! The big scary mare here is going to hurt us!"
>More laughter rings out from the two.
>You reach into your pocket and pull out a canister and spray it at them.
>They both react immediately to the water being sprayed at them and scurry off.
>Heh always seems to work that.
"Lets head inside, there might be more horns."
>As you enter the door the bell ontop rings and alerts the staff behind the counter.
>They slowly realise who's come to their door and their eyes grow to the size of dinner plates.
>"I'm sorry Anon. I just... I didn't know if you could protect us anymore... please Anon." The mare behind the counter grovels.
"Stay here you two, im going to go show these ponies what happens when you disrespect the family."
>You head into the backrooms and find all of the chocolate chip muffins and replace them with the rasin muffins.
>A simple job but the staff probably wouldn't understand what you did until it was too late.
>How devilish of you.
>You also grabbed a whole tin of salt and poured it into the sugar tin to top it off.
>After you had finished in the backrooms you went back to the counter and took all the bits out of the register.
"If you ever go against my family again, the horns will be the least of your problems."
>Hopefully it'l reduce their customers for some time without COMPLETELY destroying their business.
>Still want protection money after all.
>You motion the girls towards the door and you take your spoils back to your hideout.
>You're still in disbelief that these cute ponies could be so rutheless when it came to taking territory.
"Come on up to my office girls."
>They follow you through the halls and into your musty old office.
>"What'd you do to the bakery boss, we were too busy on the lookout to see."
"Something I hope I never have to do again Saph."
>She looks as though she wants to know more but hesitates and just nods instead.
>You turn your attention to Winter.
"You did good out there, I like your spark and I think theres plenty of room for your type to stay in our family."
>She beams at this praise.
>"Thank you sir, although I just have one question."
>You peak your eyebrow in curiostity and motion her to go on.
>"Why are we losing territory? I thought we're the strongest most feared gang out here."
>You let loose a long and bitter laugh
"You must have been reading the news headlines huh?"
>Winter merely nods and waits for you to continue.
"We've been getting hit hard from all sides, we've got the damn horns, the damn wings, and now we've got a new up and comer the Bug bites."
>Winter looks more and more concerned as you continue.
>You cup your head in your hands and when you raise them you speak again
"It's looking like we're about to have an all out gang war. With us being in the middle of it all we're not likely to survive."
>Sapphire comes over and puts her hoof on your back giving you much needed support.
"Thanks Saph, anyway point is, we've got to make some big power plays and soon. That means we're going to need everypony to help us fight."
>You've been getting oddly serious about this whole thing.
>Perhaps you need a vacation once you sort this all out, like the Bahamares. Yeah that sounds like a good place for a holiday.
"Alright girls, thats all I needed you two for. You've both got jobs to do, i'm counting on each and everyone of you girls."
>They both walk out the door and just before the door closes Sapphire peeks her head back in.
>"Don't worry boss, we won't let you down." and then she disappeared once again, leaving you with this oh so empty room.
>Be Dusty Winter
>The day had grown long and you had been told to go home by the boss.
>It'll be good to see the foals again.
>You walk down these empty streets, the lights barely flickering on as the moon rises.
>While you continue down these streets you see a homeless mare sitting on a taxi stop.
>You look over at her desheveled appearance, her eyes lost the flicker of life so long ago.
>Getting closer she seems to notice you and a small spark is regained but then quickly turns to fear as she sees your gang symbol.
"Hey, Hey, its alright." you coo.
>She merely sits there stock still wrapping the tattered blankets closer to her.
>Poor mare, its rough for us all out here.
>Reaching into your saddlebags you pick out a sandwich that the boss made for the family.
>You offer it to her and she recoils for a moment perhaps believing it is a trick of some sort.
"It's alright, its no trick."
>She quickly snatches it from your hands perhaps fearing it may disappear in front of her eyes.
>It disappears into her mouth quickly and you can only smile.
>A small squeak comes from the mare "Thank you."
>You merely nod and continue on your way back towards your home.
>It was rough not having a stallion around the house to raise the kids while you were gone.
>But you had to make do, paying ponies to look after them while you were out.
>Perhaps now you'd be able to feed everpony tonight, including yourself.
>You shake these thoughts away as you walk through your door and up to your small cramped apartment.
>When you head in you close the door as softly as possisble asthough not to disturb your foals.
>You walk into their room and see them both sleeping soundly.
>Placing the rest of the sandwiches on the table stand nearby you flop yourself into bed.
>Awaiting the awful memories that come with sleep.
>A fight, horrible screaming and a tragic loss.
>You woke up with a start.
>Too used to these dreams to scream you merely cup your head in your hooves.
>It seems your sudden awakening woke little Thunder Strike and he comes over to comfort you.
>Even though he's only a colt he's already so paternal.
>Hah it makes you happy that he'll turn out to be a good husband one day.
>You turn to him and hold him close to you not wanting to lose him.
>"I wuv you mommy."
>A tear rolls down your cheek and you hold him closer still.
"I love you too my little Thunder."
>The two of you hug until you fall asleep once again no longer accosted by those terrible nightmares.

>The morning sun breaks through the uncurtained windows and covers the entire room.
>Both of the foals seem to be awake and energized.
>"Mommy! Mommy! Wake up!" both the foals say in unison.
>Your cute little Raindancer is bouncing at the end of your bed.
"Ok, ok." you say with a smile "I'm getting up now."
>Heaving yourself out of bed you walk out into the kitchen.
"Have you two had some food already?"
>"Yep, momma! It was really good!" says Raindancer.
>You can't help but smile at the pair.
"That's good you two, Mommas gotta go back out to work again, Dasher will be around soon to look after you two."
>They both deflate at that.
>"Do you weawy have to go to work, momma?"
>You bend down and hug Thunder
"Sorry Thunder, I really do. I'll be back home before you know it though!"
>With that they both cheer and a smile grows on all of your faces.
>You pick up your saddle bags and head towards the door.
"Stay safe you two. And no parties until I get back yeah?" you say jokingly as you make your way through the door and down the stairs.
I've tried to tighten the rgre elements and keep the darker theme, even with the more kindergarten elements.
That's fair enough, I appreciate the criticism. I did feel that there wasn't too much going on to layer the story with. I'll see what I can do in the mafia green to try to rectify my mistakes.
It's not so much about the interaction that the story gains but the criticism and how I can learn and adapt the story, although now I think about it they aren't mutually exclusive.
Alright, the story is getting better.
Wouldn't this be the time for you to pick a name though?
Sitting on all that gold is a perfect setup to get rescued by the taxmares purely by accident.
>Equestria's most elite fighting force is a group of combat lawyers for the pony IRS
horse thots are serious business
>tfw you've played truth or dare with basically every girl in school
>tfw the boys say you're a slut
>tfw you say you're a fucking winner
>tfw if you're not first, you're last
horse thots are good for business
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t. mr goldbeak
It's only a matter of time until Equestria's institutions are subverted! Already, your royal treasury is in debt to Griffin banks.
Soon, Ponies.
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>tfw you'll never stuff that nerd like a turkey regularly
Nah, it's LaP apparently. Does /tg/n still write pone green? Has he done shit for this thread?
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I would show this movie to ponies
What movies are RGRE approved?
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>ponies watch Turbo Kid
You are really hitting mah feels bad with them cute little fillies.
Yeeeessss, more mafianon!
Apparently I no longer have the ability to recognize writing styles.

Yeah, it's been awhile since I've seen them around and I don't think they've written ITT.
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>EqGirls are actually just equids who evolved enough to look almost exactly like humans through sheer coincidence, as evolution is wont to do.
>Twilight here is just following her repressed horsey instincts
Just how many narf blasters does she own?
>Enough for the Royal Guard and then some.
>Ayyys have horsey instincts
>Horsegirls really like getting hugs from behind.
>Not much will trigger those horsey arousal instincts like feeling a man's chest against her back.
>Getting a handful of her chest (or hips and pulling her against you) at the same time just accelerates things.
In the past, it was protecting your man from the raking claws of a predator
Now it's for protecting his purity from wandering hands.
After all you'd have to be some kind of d-dyke to willingly grab another woman's chest. right?
>For every villain Equestria's conventional heroes have put away, tax evasion has put away four
>Nothing too eventful happens as you trek your way through the streets on the way to the hideout.
>You begin to ponder what happened at your old jobs, would they come looking for you?
>Nah they'd probably just hire somepony else to do their dirty work now.
>Not like any of your coworkers really seemed to care about you.
>Shaking your head you disperse the memories and continue forward.
>You see a couple of ponies hanging together near a barrel on fire in the street trying to get warm.
>The weather has been getting colder lately and as though to preface this a pegasai flys over head dropping snow along the streets.
>When you walk past the ponies sitting near the barrel they all seem to look at you with contempt and fear.
>However you pay them no mind as you continue along the pathway.
>Once you do finally get to the hideout you see that the weather ponies have already been here as the whole roof is covered in a thick layer of snow.
>The mares who're standing guard seem to be wrapped up tightly and have scarfs on.
>As you enter they give you a nod and you return it with a slight wave.
>"Hefty wants to see you, shes inside." one of them grunts
>What could Hefty want with you?
>Probably another job you suppose.
>You nod in response and continue on inside.
>The feint crackle of fire popping greets you when you open the door and a heat surrounds you.
>"Close the door behind you Newbie, you're letting the cold in." Sapphire says from across the room.
>You close the door behind you and you see Sapphire approaching you.
>"Looks like we've got a job to get done today. Heft just finished tellin' me about it, why don't you go in and see her." She says as she points a hoof towards a slightly ajar door.
"Alright i'll be just a sec, hopefully it's nothing too bad." you let loose a nervous chuckle.
>Sapphire nods and goes back to her chair in the corner of the room.
>You brace yourself and push the door open and head in to see the Hefty talking to another mare that you've not been introduced to.
>She turns to face you and waves the other pony away.
>"Miss Winter, I was told about your work on the last job. Now we have a sort of situation to deal with that requires a firm hoof and I belive that you'd be the best mare for the job."
>You nod and she continues.
>"We have a business some mares might find distasteful, but it keeps stallions clothed and fed. Do you understand what i'm eluding to?"
>Slightly confused you shake your head.
"No ma'am, i'm afraid I don't really understand."
>She grimaces and continues "I don't like it much myself, but we have a group of stallions selling a booping and belly rubbing service."
>You're slightly perturbed by that and she pauses a moment to judge your reaction.
>"Don't worry too much about the stallions in the situation, I can assure you they're treated with the utmost care. And that is what I wanted to talk to you about, somepony has been messing with our stallions out on the streets."
>She grabs a map out of one the drawers and some areas are circled in green marker.
>"We've had problems with the Wings trying to get in on our booping rings but not like this. So you're going to be escorting the stallions while they go about their business."
"If that's what the boss wants me to do." you say with a grim tone.
>As much as you don't like stallions getting caught up in this booping rings you can help them by making it easier to work.
>"Good that'll be all Winter. You'll be with Sapphire on this job if she hasn't already told you."
>You walk out and close the door behind you.
>Sapphire comes up to greet you once again. "How'd it go Newbie?"
"Well i've just found out that we're running illegal booping rings." you say with a slightly angered tone.
>Sapphire looks slightly ashamed and scratches her head.
>"Yeah sorry 'bout that, could be worse though. It could always be worse for these stallions, they could be on the streets without protection like those damn Bugs do."
>She shakes her head "Disgusting how they treat their stallions, downright disgusting. Anyways, we'd best get moving and quickly."
>The two of you head outside into the freezing cold.
Be Green, Tall and in a suit.
>Also be Anon
>Hefty came into your office to let you know about the situation with the Bug Bites trying to etch into your territory and make a name for themselves.
>"So what do you think Sir?" She says as she points down at the map that has been marked with all the gangs borders.
>"If we get a few girls over here and here" she points to the Apple corner and the Big Jewel.
>"We might just be able to weather the storm and be able to strike back."
>You hum as you take in all of this information.
"What about the shop owners? Are you sure they won't allow the Bugs to get an ambush prepared?"
>You know about Sharp Jewel and his wife, they just want an end to all this gang fighting.
>And that means you can't put your full trust in them.
>Tall Cider though, she's a mare you could trust with your life.
>She's had your back plenty of times and you've had hers.
>"We should be fine in that department sir, Sharp Jewel will be bribed and Tall Cider is no question of loyalty."
"I see, I see." you rub your eyes and look back up at Hefty again.
"Thanks Hefty, I wouldn't be able to do this without you."
>She nods and smiles sweetly
>"Anything for you Sir. Just one more thing." She pauses for a moment looking for the words.
>"I've heard reports of us losing a shipment of sugar last night." she dips her head slightly
>Anger burns behind your eyes and you hold it back as to not blow up at Hefty.
"How did we lose ANOTHER shipment. Whats the mares damn excuse this time."
>She swallows the lump in her throat and continues.
>"Well Sir, they said they had a stallion offer them some 'comfort' for the night and they took their offer."
>"When they woke up the whole carriage was stolen, they can't even remember what the stallion looked like."
>Concerning very VERY concerning.
"Give me some good news Hefty, please. Just anything." you say with a sigh.
>"Well Sir, i've sent more protection to watch over the stallions like you asked."
>"Well Sir, i've sent more protection to watch over the stallions like you asked."
>You kind of feel bad using the Stallions as booping whores but hopefully this added protection will both stop them from being harassed and assuage your consciousness.
"Thats good Hefty. How did Winter take it?"
>"She was distressed about it momentarily as most mares would be but I believe she will get over it Sir."
"I see, enough about work Heft its all giving me a headache."
>You pull out a small bottle of cider and two cups.
"You want a glass Heft?" you say while offering one of the cups to her.
>"Well my mother said to never refuse a stallion Sir." she says with a cheeky grin.
"Thats my mare." you return her smile and fill up her glass full of cider.
>This stuff is pretty weak so you add a little bit of griffonian delight.
>Not quite as good as the real stuff but good enough for your purposes.
>You raise your glass and Hefty does the same.
>"To the Green bandits!" you both say in unison as you both chug down your first glasses.
>After you and Hefty have gotten a few glasses in you can tell she's more then a little bit tipsy.
>"Hah Sir, Sir git this. Whats green and walks on two legs?"
>You smile knowing the answer but indulge her anyway.
"What does Heft?"
>"You Sir!" The room is filled with her boisterous laughter.
>You shake your head and let loose a small chuckle.
>Reaching over the desk you tussle her mane.
>She pushes her head into your palm and you continue to stroke her mane.
>A heavy knock comes from the door and Hefty immediately snaps out of her trance.
I had planned to add a little bit more on to the end of this update but I scrapped it because I thought it was much too ham fisted and would ruin the pace of the story.
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Time to drag this old meme out of cold storage
>Ancestors were horses that somehow evolved into looking like humans.
>Humans with horsey instincts
You want Anthro, accept it and be at peace with yourself instead of employing "The loli is actually a 1000 year old dragon in disguise." tier gymnastics.
I'm fine with the EqG as humans that evolved from horses, mainly because it's funny, so they have weird vestigial horse behaviors but the fur is fucking weird.
>Implying that I was implying that the fur was a positive thing
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I just realized the reason this makes me so uncomfortable is because there's no humor in her reply, she's just stone-cold serious the whole time
normal pinkie would smiled or said "this is fur, silly!"
this version's expressions reminds me of mabel from gravity falls when she tries to be serious
have some cute instead
Sis, DYEM?

>green bandits
Oh no.
Bandit mares.
Hide your kids, hide your stallions.
Fuck you
Just be glad I didn't reuse OP, like I have been doing.
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Hey, as long as you continue. So keep going, writefriend!
Do continue.

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