The "Working Her Way Through College" EditionPrevious: >>22486818/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQRESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvCPlease limit excerpts to one post.Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported.Simple guides on writing:>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRM>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPnobbck9s>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKcbvioxFkThread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVI84PlFC0Q
My proofreader accused me of writing an anti-romantic poem, which was not my intention, however I can see what he meant.> micz.substack.com/p/all-too-sweet
>>22497155I like the use of 'antonym' That's a new rhyme.
Posted this in last thread but have reformatted. Feedback welcome, cheers
>>22497155>my bepis bamboozled the schwing ding and uh books and writing bazoonga>please follow my instagram.com/r/poem
I'm almost completely new to writing and I want to write a short story, mostly as a vehicle to explore a little world building idea I've been kicking around my mind for a while now.As such I have a world in mind, but not much of a story. Do you guys think a story along the lines of "main character goes to cursed forest, gets lost, sees some spooky shit, eventually gets out" is compelling enough for my purpose?Any advice on what I should look out for and what pitfalls to avoid?
>>22497155This is high effort so I'm going to give honest feedback. I like them flow from one section to the next, but not how the language turns more ordinary after the first bit. I get that that might be the point, but I wish everything had that painterly feel.Rhyming on the same sound more than once is distracting in such a small poem, although I do enjoy the words themselves. Also, small though it is, I think the picture detracts from the seriousness.Otherwise I think this is really good, much better than the average effort here.Solid effort.
>>22497276You may want to learn basic story structure first (e.g. goals, stakes, conflict, etc.) before writing something that just turns out to be a travelogue.
Angry formless phone notes shit I've been spouting out on bus journeys to and from my place of work How do I start writing for real please
>>22497276If you want it to be good you should flesh the idea out more. If it's just an exercise to get you started writing then it doesn't matter too much. There are way too many writing pitfalls to explain, just write first and get feedback on it afterwards.
>>22497276Spooky forest stories always work just don't write it like those fucking 10cryptid encounters in the woods youtube video deals like
>>22497366open up ms word and start writing nigga what do you think? we aren't wizards casting magic spells
Is it so wrong to follow a minimum daily quota of words to write?
>>22497298shilling this book every thread is extra retarded because it's not even good. one, swain was not a selling writer. his novellas were picked up by magazines in the time when magazines would pay you a few bucks for any shit to pad their pages. he didn't make enough money doing that so he quit to be a teacher. two, he runs out of things to say in about two pages, and the rest of the book is kind of like an old guy muttering to himself about some nonsense. anyways i can't take anything you say seriously when you post that cover next to it, it's really laughable.
>>22497276sure, I love old gothic storiesI suggest reading poe and lovecraft for some inspo
>>22497387I see you have no constructive advice.
>>22497430my constructive advice is "don't listen to this retard, just write your stories, if the activity interests you you'll learn a lot more than you will by reading some failed pulp author try to tell you how a book should be"
>>22497387yours is a minority opinionhttps://www.goodreads.com/book/show/408230.Techniques_of_the_Selling_Writer
>>22497155This shit sucks
>>22497450Just because ESLs and mediocre white women rate a book highly does not make that book good
>>22497298>basic story structurebooks for this?
>>22497459>racist/sexist seethingwhy would anyone want to listen to you?
>>22497450yes, people on average are so good at identifying what is good advice for stories, that's why most authors are successful (?)also this >>22497459 amazon customers are retarded>>22497466most of them have some interesting ideas and then kind of devolve into the author repeating those ideas in less interesting ways to pad out the book. if you're set on reading them, just download a bunch and then switch to another when you think the one you're reading has run out of things to say, because it probably has. save the cat, hero with a thousand faces, story genius, whichever other ones people talk about here idk.
>>22497466Did you not see picrel in the post you replied to...?>>22497489No, people on average are NOT good at that, hence why there are instructional books, so they can learn. But hey, by all means, go write a plotless travelogue where the main character muses about being an alcoholic incel. Or a sci-fi/fantasy story containing massive lore-dumps interspersed with uninteresting action. Or the most purple prose you can muster. But don't act surprised when your work passes without notice.
>>22497478>antiwhite/antimale seethingWhy would anyone want to listen to you?
>>22497507And your work has great financial success and substance?Please shut the fuck
>>22497507my work doesn't have those problems, but if you take all your advice from shiteating pulp novelists talking about what they thought should have worked in the 50s, you might believe you're inoculated against it and then write it anyways. anyways the book sucks, and it's pretty obvious to anyone who gives it and its author a close look.
>>22497593schizo>>22497645>>22497655strawmandamn, anons...it's the weekend! enjoy yourself!
>>22497155I don't understand poetry but this seems quite good. if you don't mind how many readers do you get from lit?
>>22497298Nah, the best way to learn is just to write.
>You may want to learn basic story structure first (e.g. goals, stakes, conflict, etc.) before writing something that just turns out to be a travelogue.How the fuck would you just accidentally forget to put goals, stakes, and conflict in your story
>>22497407Honestly Lovecraft, Poe and Robert Chambers (who inspired Lovecraft) are about my only exposure to short stories anyways. But also that's a pretty high bar to reach for, those fuckers knew what they were doing.>>22497373Yeah, I'm assuming I'll have to be very careful to not drift into early 2000s creepypaste territory, but I think I'm mature enough to manage.>>22497367>>22497298>If you want it to be good you should flesh the idea out more. If it's just an exercise to get you started writing then it doesn't matter too muchYeah, I definitely plan to lay out the story in bullet points first to see if it comes together and flesh it out from there. Once piece of advice I've heard for short stories, is to find some central conflict/danger that the main character gets into and every step they try at staving it of, brings them even closer to it, until the finally, for example, learn some less and succeed. I think vaguely going off of that might work.I don't see myself showing my work to more than a handful of friends maybe, so it's mostly a writing exercise, but I think it'll still be a tad more fulfilling if it's actually somewhat good. Thanks for the input lads.
>>22497825Have you not read the stories posted here? Or in Tales Of The Unreal? Or /ffa/? Or the Amazon novels shilled here? Or Reddit's fiction-oriented subs? So many wannabe writers without a teaspoon of understanding of the difference between fiction and merely putting words down. I wish it was different.
>>22497450based logical fallacy poster
>someone posts their work/idea for honest feedback>tell them it's honestly shit>they freak out and accuse you of trolling them
>>22497966>checkedthere is two main factors independant of each other which cause this:1- you are rude2- they cannot take critiqueIf both mix, I guarantee you a soiled thread from the amounts of shitstorm that will occur in direct effect.
>>22497825>How the fuck would you just accidentally forget to put goals, stakes, and conflict in your storyjoseph conrad did it and they teach him in highschools
>>22497966Try not to be rude?>>22497991>2- they cannot take critiqueI can take critique, but if you veil your mockery behind "at least we're honest and not Reddit!" then it's actually best to just post stuff on Discord or dedicated writing communities.*I didn't post anything btw, I just lurk here.
>>22497230>he his he him his him he his his he he his himthe future progressive tense and overuse of pronouns made this a pain to get through. It reads like bland, emotionless notes of a psychologist but from the perspective of an omnipotent narrator.
>>22498093not that anon but I'm trying as hard as possible to avoid overusing pronouns in my texts. Any tips?I've already began constructing longer, more expanded sentences.
>>22497825Easier that you'd think. People can get so caught up in their world building that they forget it is meant to act as setting for the story to take place in and not a replacement for the story itself. Hell, I've done something similar myself. I designed what I thought was an interesting set of interweaving relationships for my characters, but when I sat down to write I struggled. I had forgotten to create an antagonist, my protags had nothing to do.
>>22498107for >>22497230 , it's more the repetition of "he will" "he was" that draws attention to them. So it's often not just the overuse of pronouns that is a problem. As for tips, instead of worrying too much about the pronouns, limit modal verbs (or at least the frequency of the same ones). Using >>22497230 as an example, at the start of the third "paragraph," changing "He will also notice" to something such as "He notices" or dropping the "He" all together and going straight into the subject matter, "Subtle feelings arise..." It's already established who is being referenced, so in my opinion it's not necessary to reiterate ad nauseam who is being referred to. At least not in almost every sentence
>>22497230It's not a contest on who has the highest word count. You seem more intent on vocabmaxxing than you do on telling a story.
>>22497276You should go out into a spooky forest at night. I suggest not getting lost, but simply immerse yourself in that cryptic stillness that seems to happen at night in the woods all alone. Take notes. Write in the dark.
>>22497386it's excellent actually. forces you to train
>>22497366are you gay tho?
>>22498093Tbh I really like your description of it that's kinda what I was going for. This is part of a short self-contained section of a wider novel, and you feeling that lack of emotion and detachedness is good. But it being a pain to get through is obviously not good
posted this short in last thread before it died. feedback appreciated :3
Yo-Ho-Ho the sea is our homeYo-Ho-Ho the sea is our graveYo-Ho-Ho we will swim till we die natural or WarWe lift the flag of our pride, Bound the King Slice off his head, Eat his bread and drink the wineYo-Ho-Ho the sea if for the freeYo-Ho-Ho The Sea is the right home for meYo-Ho-Ho I own the world the devil of the sea sold it to meYo-Ho-Ho It cost me my soul but I'm fine with that fee Yo-Ho-Ho The Sea Will Never Dry
I'm going to write a short story every day
>>22498678based. see you in a month
In a chamber, dimly lit, a man, alone, in shadows sits,His mind a labyrinth of thoughts untamed.Isolation, cruel and cold, a specter's grip, a story told,A soul adrift, in solitude unnamed,A journey into madness, in solitude unnamed,A descent, forever framed.He gazes out, his eyes so wide, into the night, where shadows hide,A yearning for a touch, a word, a face.But all he finds are empty halls, their echoes haunt the silent walls,A hollow echo of an empty space,A haunting silence in the desolate embrace,A void, a vacant chase.He speaks to phantoms in the air, his words a desperate, hollow prayer,A mind unraveling, a soul in fray.The specters listen, still and cold, their voices distant, growing old,A symphony of madness in disarray,A cacophony of whispers in disarray,A mind lost in disarray.He paces through the candle's glow, a dance of shadows to and fro,A waltz of specters, partners in despair.They lead him through the haunted halls, where every step, an echo falls,A twisted tango in the cold night air,A dance with phantoms in the cold night air,A spiraling descent, a frenzied affair.The mirrors mock his hollow gaze, reflecting back a fractured maze,A shattered image, lost in endless strife.The man, once whole, now stands alone, a fractured soul, a heart of stone,A portrait of a fractured, fractured life,A portrait of a soul in fractured strife,A descent into a fractured life.He clings to fragments of the past, in memories, his mind is cast,A desperate yearning, lost within the fog.But every memory slips away, like grains of sand, they cease to stay,A fading ember in the silent bog,A fading ember in the murky silent bog,A mind adrift, lost in the silent fog.In solitude, he finds his end, a fractured soul, a shattered blend,A man consumed by shadows, lost in time.The echoes fade, the candles wane, the specters drift, a mournful strain,A final verse to end the mournful rhyme,A final descent to end the mournful rhyme,A soul consumed, forever in the chime.
>>22497966"It's shit" is not a useful critique, at least explain why it's shit otherwise you're just wasting everyone's time
I don't get it. In the art/media boards on this website the rest of the board is chill but the thread for creatives is filled with retard elitists with nothing to show for themselvesBut on /lit/ the entire board is full with retard elitists with nothing to show for themselves but the thread for creatives is mostly chill people
I saw this on an article today>Time after time, bleach has proved how volatile and troublesome it’s when mixed with other chemicals, substances, and acids.The usage of "it's" in the sentence sounds wrong to me but it sounds fine to me if "it is" is used instead.>Time after time, bleach has proved how volatile and troublesome it is when mixed with other chemicals, substances, and acids.I tried to do a search to see if situations like this has come up before for other people, but came up with nothing but an insistence that the contraction "it's" is always fine when replacing "it is" in a sentence.I feel like with the sentence from the article there's a degree of emphasis on the verb "is" where it needs to be more distinguished than the pronoun "it" before it, which is why I say the sentence falls apart when "is" is sucked into "it's" as a contraction.Is using the contraction valid or is there a way of properly explaining why the sentence works with "it is" and doesn't work with "it's" using actual grammar terms?
>>22498678It's mechanically sound which already puts you ahead of 90% of /wg/ (lol). The prose is extremely sterile though. It looks like it was written by ChatGPT or something. I don't intend to sound mean with that but it just seems a bit bland. Try to work on developing your style and voice a little more, inject some more color, emotion, and imagery into your writing. It feels like you are rushing through the scene too quickly. Take some time to slow down and explore your imagery and build up suspense and intrigue. Why are the creaks and clacks unsettling? What do they sound like? How does Jimmy feel about them?That's your biggest flaw in this piece IMO, you need to do more showing instead of telling. Too much telling is what gives your writing that bland feeling. You do a lot of things like "well, the cabin is foreboding, the creaking walls are scary, the chirping birds induce anxiety." You never show why, you don't put us in Jimmy's shoes and make us feel what he's feeling. I don't even know what the chirps sound like. I don't know why the atmosphere is sinister or why the birds are supposed to make me anxious, you're just kind of telling me that they're supposed to be and hoping that I nod my head and go "okay." Instead of explaining everything, try to actually put the reader there and make them feel those feelings yourself.Out of curiosity, are you >>22497276 ? Hopefully I was not too discouraging, keep at it.
>>22498900>Out of curiosity, are you >>22497276(You) ?Nope, that's (me), I'm not nearly at the stage where I can post a page for someone to critique. I tried my hand at writing once, when I was a lot younger and in retrospect the few stories I wrote turned out really bad, because I never planned anything, just wrote stuff as it entered my mind and never did any editing afterwards.This time around I really want to lay out the structure first, so if I notice any flaws in the story, I can fix them while it's still all just bullet points, instead of when I've already written a dozen paragraphs that now all need to go.I hope that's a sensible approach, I've heard everyone needs to find their own balance between pre-planning and writing as they go and editing afterwards
>>22498807I consider it a refuge. I've been on this site for a good while now and /wg/, while a somewhat recent find for me, is probably my favorite place on the web.
>>22498931Oh okay, I just assumed so because it seemed to be a similar idea to yours and it was named as his first short story.
>>22498864it’s definitely wrong in that context.
>>22498807Perhaps this is simply bias on my part but I think that writing requires a certain level of sincerity and dedication that other forms of creativity don't necessarily cultivate or demand in the same way or to the same degree, which is what leads to that.Most writing circles and writer friends I've talked to seem to have more of a "we're all in this together and let's push each other to the top" mentality whereas in art threads there's a lot more arrogance or insecurity which leads to holier-than-thou attitudes.Generalizing of course, there are insecure/bitter/elitist writers and chill artists/photographers etc.
>>22498864i couldn't tell you if it's actually grammatically incorrect but it sounds gross as fuck and there's no reason to do it"proved" instead of "proven" also sounds awkward to me there, but not nearly as bad and that's probably more of a personal thing
I'm sure some of you write erotica. What is the market like these days? I have ideas but I'm thinking of just posting my stories online somewhere since the market is probably getting dicked by AI.
Is it worthwhile to use online writing prompt communities to practice your writing? For now, I'm mainly just looking for people who'll read my shit and derive some nontrivial amount of enjoyment from it. 500-2000 words on average maybe a bit more if I happen to snatch a plot bunny. Meanwhile I'll just work to improve slowly but surely, one day at a time. I'm not terrible but I'm not particularly good either. So far I've gotten good feedback but the tone of the communities I'm using isn't based on criticism just people saying, "Loved it" or, "Update more." I'm considering getting into fanfiction just for more practice but I get the vibe I might be picking up bad habits by aiming too low.
>>22499005Erotica is absolutely getting fucked like a deafblind schoolgirl by AI. Even assuming a writer caters to the most depraved niche you can imagine automation has no morality floor and will produce a lot of content far quicker and cheaper. Most of them are thriving based on the weight their name carries in their communities and the fact that they have long running series going where people come for the fetish shit but stay because they've developed parasociality.
>>22499011Only take feedback you hear repeated more than 1 time by different people seriously.
>>22498900thanks a bunch for the feedback, I'll start exploring more details but I gotta keep it fast paced because I'm ADHD as fuckI'm actually using ChatGPT to edit my work which gives it that mechanical perfection, but the story and prose direction is minetruthfully I'm actually retarded at the academic mechanics of english and dyslexic, but I love telling stories and it's a lot of fun to read my work getting turned into mechanically sound englishI've only read a handful of books in my life, I grew up loving movies and wanting to get into them... that never passed so I'm working to become a story teller using the power of AI and self-publishing
>>22497155Super old fashioned, earnest poem. You'd probably like Wordsworth. You have heard of 19th / 20th /21st century lit right?
>>22497991>>22498075>nooo you're being ruuude :(Grow up. If you don't want honest feedback stick to sharing with your friends and family.
>>22498788This is bullshit because when I say nothing but it's good I get nothing but thank you replies
>>22499033Nah dude, I tried getting an AI to write something fappable but it's so retarded it turns me off
>All of my ideas are character studies>want to do something simpler>come up with fantasy world to write one of those YA novels where it's just a bunch of world building with dumb action>come up with a set of gods>start outlining a plot>it just turns into a series of character studies of the relationships between humans with their gods and gods with other gods
>>22499128>"It's shit">Not useful but makes people feel bad>"It's good">Not useful but makes people feel goodBoth are not helpful as critiques, but try to tone done the autism for a second to understand why you might get different responses between the two
>>22499155Embrace your strengths
>>22499155You've accidentally stumbled across the key to quality genre fiction
>>22499173>if you point out social hypocrisies you must have autism
>>22499258How is it in any way a hypocrisy? People are naturally going to respond better to positive comments than negative ones, even if both comments lack anything of substance
>>22499291Both are empty and useless but only one gets called out for it.
>>22499378>people respond to negativity differently than positivity>this is somehow confusing....bro?
>>22499378Yes, because people respond better to compliments than insults. I don't see why this is so difficult for you to understand. If I see you on the street and say I like your haircut, you're going to respond better than if I called you a faggot out of the blue. This complete inability to understand nuance is why I told you to rein in the autism, by the way.
https://pastebin.com/MY9vyHjaAnyone want to read a short piece I just wrote? I was reading an impressionistic narrative and wanted to try my own version while I sipped a johnnie walker reds. I can't tell if its completely schizo or if it makes sense to others.As usual, please feel free to tell me how trash my writing is.
>>22497298>(e.g. goals, stakes, conflict, etc.)none of these are necessary to a good story
>>22499391>hypocrisy >confusion two seperate things
>>22499392You keep insisting I don't understand when it seems more like you don't understand.
>>22499501Then feel free to explain.
>>22499425I really liked it anon. It's sad and soft and you feel how entranced he is by her.
>>22499497>two seperate things are considered differently>this is a hypocrisyyou seem confused
>>22499434Without goals, stakes, and conflict, you're just writing a travelogue, which is boring for most people. But, by all means, go ahead and do exactly that. See where it gets you.
>>22499425Neat. First time reading a prose piece like this. See it all the time in poetry and I often find it cheap but this is alrightTiring to read at first. Picks up with her arrival. A sense of narrative would help it feel less meandering before that point. The intermingling of his thoughts, actions and words is a fun gimmick. I'd say the even pace is a bit off putting but it does compliment that drunk feeling. The ending is unsatisfying because it doesn't push a narrative conclusion very hard. That being the point, that these reconnective flings are hollow and fleeting, would cleverly mirror the disaffected limp ending, but I think 'prose that affects feelings of disaffection' would be better than 'ineffectual prose to mirror disaffection'
>>22499598Your contemporary literature?
Try to avoid writing during moments of frustration.
>>22499598>Without goals, stakes, and conflict,you get, modernist literaturehttps://msdeyork.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/virginia-woolf-the-lady-in-the-looking-glass.pdf
>>22499717Why are you so angry?
>>22499766Haven't had sex in three weeks
>>22499669"Modernism" already peaked. Its heyday was 1914-1945, and was largely composed of people that self-identified as failures that had no place in the world...in other words, a movement of losers.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_modernismThere's a reason it's no longer popular...because it's boring and lacks story structure. You can't just put a bunch of words down and call it a story.There's also a reason it was limited to art and decorative architecture...because it's useless, and fails to achieve results in any other context.Goals, stakes, conflict, and Dwight V. Swain. Deal with it.
>>22499609Depends what you mean by "contemporary". I'm presently reading a few contemporary novel series, and they all have goals, stakes, conflict, and story structure. Perhaps you need to post some examples of what you're talking about.
I want to write a book about a fictional narco pilot but I don't know where to start
>>22499814Research. Either by reading about narco pilots, or becoming one yourself.
I need some advice. My mom keeps telling me that a good piece of literature isn't just a description of events. Like he did this, he said something, then he did that. But that is should also contain something more. Like authors musings over a subjects or two, or some stuff like that. Clearly I am more cut out for screenplay writing, because I am having a hard time not keeping the text from being only description of events. Like how much do I need to add that other stuff to balance it out? Especially in a tense narrative, and when I don't use internal monologue. I at least want to keep internal monologue to a minimum, as the POV jumps between at least 5 characters, and the things relevant about them, come out through their actions. Nobody is strictly the main character, in who's head the reader gets to be.So can anyone help me with figuring these things out?
>>22499834Tell, don't show.It's really that simple.Tell us what the character is thinking, tell us what the scene is supposed to be about. It's storyTELLING, not storySHOWING.
/wg/, how can I enjoy writing again? It used to be my purpose in life but now I feel nothing for it but the occasional sense shame, despair and anxiety
>>22499036Good advice, thank you, anon. In that case I guess I'm on the right track.
>>22499848But what if I don't want the reader to know some things about my lead characters, until the appropriate time? Do I tell them what the character is thinking, but conveniently leave out the important bits, until it's necessary to reveal that info?
>>22499855I would never be as conceited as a "muh conflict" shitter. Look up Kishotenketsu for an example of masterful storycrafting without Aristotle's meddling.
>>22499834It's a style choice. Your mother reads a certain type of fiction and expects your fiction to conform to that.
>>22497230Couldn’t make it past the second paragraph. This prose style is insufferable. I can hear your smugness in the narration, and you have a bad run-on sentence problem. Your entire second *paragraph* is a single sentence. Come on, anon.From now on, I want you to read your passages out loud before posting them. If you had done that, you would hear how awkward the word choice and sentence structure is.
>>22499862Yes. Baby's first unreliable narrator?
Should I write or should I play a video game? Both are equal wastes of time.
>>22499867>Your entire second *paragraph* is a single sentence. Come on, anon.Yeah, who would ever read a sentence that short? There are novels that consist of a single run on sentence!
>>22499864She doesn't read a certain type of fiction. She reads everything. She goes through books with incredibly ease, and she has read almost all the classics. And she advises me not to spell things out too much, all the while telling me to keep the text rich with something other than descriptions of events. >>22499869I don't want any character to be the Narrator. A short novel with 5 separate narrators would get crowded fast
>>22499883>I don't want any character to be the Narrator.Who said the omniscient narrator had to share everything with the reader?
>>22499883>keep the text rich with something other than descriptions of events.that is extremely broadfirst of all, you need to clarify if she is talking about your prose, or about subtext (themes and philosophy underpinning your writing), or the about the behind the scenes story bits (developing characters, relationships, establishing motivations and conflicts, etc)subtext is simply a matter of taste and preferences. if you just want to write a cool entertaining story you can do that.if your prose is dry and bland and you are simply narrating things instead of being evocative and immersing the reader, that's a problem.and if you aren't advancing your characters and plots in meaningful ways in your scenes, everything is going to feel pointless, and your story is going to feel like it's meandering and going nowhere, and people will get bored. unless you are trying to do some kooky modernist bullshit. in which case, by all means be as autistic as you like.
>>22497142Do you use beat sheets? Or are they just a meme?
>>22499883Your mom is kinda turning me on desu
>>22499859write. despite your feelings of shame, despair, and anxiety.
>>22499889I'm writing a very straight forward crime thriller. Multiple characters, something they do goes wrong, and we learn more about the main cast, as they deal with the situation.I think her main problem is my prose. It is very screenplay like, straight to the point and fast. Like do I take half a page, and have the omniscient Narrator ponder about the economic situation in the country, which lead to such a crime being committed. I mean I can try that, but then the question is how much do I have to break up the event descriptions, to have these moments of contemplation.>>22499885That's a good point.But yeah, I want to keep up the pace. And example would be say a scene where the characters are backed up against the wall, and then one of them gets an idea. I see it playing out in a nice tempo. Instead of having the one character contemplate their situation, reach a conclusion, formulate the plan in his head, and then tell everyone, it would go down more like this:>The character is established as a quick thinker>Their backs are up against the wall in a bad situation>Suddenly it becomes obvious that he got an idea>Without explaining anything, he picks up the phone, calls someone, and snaps his fingers at the pen and paper on the desk>Another character writes down a few things that he says, and then he hangs up>Third character has no clue what is going on, but they are already leaving, and he promises to explain on the way>Next chapter begins with a gist of what was explained during the car ride there>>22499910I don't know what to do with that info.
>>22499919Send me her infoShe needs a well read man in her lifeAs your father I'll make sure your writing grows up right
>>22499859>>22499913or better yet, write about them.
>>22499919You can have prose that is straight and to the point and fast while still being rich. Read some Hemingway and read other crime thrillers since having short bullet speed sentences is a defining characteristic of the genre (shorter sentences make the pace of the story feel faster).>do I take half a page, and have the omniscient Narrator ponder about the economic situation in the country, which lead to such a crime being committedNo, absolutely not.
>>22499919>her main problem is my prose>how much do I have to break up the event descriptions, to have these moments of contemplationthese are two different things
>>22499951I think I sort of jumped from thought to though here. Her main problems are what I described in detail, and my rather dry prose.
https://youtu.be/4K8IEzXnMYkdoes this apply to writing too?
>>22497196>>22497295Yes i was quite happy with the way the stanzas merge into one another. Probably the main reason I kept the poem. As for the similar rhyme, it's there for the slightly 'too sweet' over the top effect. Perhaps i shouldn't have.>>22497454=(>>22497688Thank you .It's hard to say since substack isn't very good with stats. Who comes from where is a bit of mystery but i'd say it's 150 ish a thread. >>22499111Thank you. It's less earnest then you'd think though, as it's a romantic poem against the romantic ideal. I do like the 19'th century allot, yet my favorite writer there is probably Robert Browning.Still you are absolutely right that im trying to both have my cake and eat it. To have some word painting and nature writing early on, to then dismiss it as too sweet.
>>22500019EH the last poem I read I liked that actually made me want to write more poetry was ages ago but here it is. https://www.nybooks.com/articles/2021/07/22/the-lights/Its good when art is like, oh you can do that. It doesn't have to be a colossal effort or respectable or 'great'.
>>22500110It's clear and readable, without major typos or thoughtless mistakes. That's about all I can say. I understand nothing of the narrative. It feels rushed, but I assume it's meant to be quickly over anyway. And how are halls cobbled and also soft? I have a very different image of the word.
Any tips for writing an epistolary story? Specifically a diary. What kind of things do you like or dislike in stories told that way? Anyone had much experience writing in that style? Also, if anyone has any recommendations for fictional diaries to read, I would appreciate it. Both good and bad, I would like to get a feel for how it can go wrong so I can avoid common mistakes.
>>22500145There was this YA novel I read when I was a kid, written like a diary. It sucked.
How important is it to have an ending planned out as you set down to write a story?I have "written" plenty before, but what I am aiming to do is a bit different than normal; longer and more serious.I have the characters, the themes, the main plot, the setting, many of the conflicts and plot beats, and a concept of the final arc I want for many of the characters, but I don't have much in the ways of how to accomplish those final goals. Is it better to brainstorm further or to just start writing and hope I don't need to retroactively change a bunch of things when I narrow down the ending?
>>22500156considering everything culminates in the ending, seems pretty important to know
>>22498659You're sort of falling into telling instead of showing here and there. >He did not want to appear a noviceYou're telling even though you just showed us he's trying to play it cool and look comfortable. Be confident enough to leave it as subtext. >(the Priestess had already guessed it)Does he know this? If so, show us. Maybe he sees a knowing look and realizes she doesn't buy his cool façade. If he doesn't know it, then leave us guessing like he is. It's told from his perspective isn't it?It's not a huge problem in this passage, but watch out for it in the rest of your story. Otherwise I like the prose. Imagery is nice and clear. There's a clear mood. The story sounds intriguing. Overall very nice.
>>22500156If you spend a lot of time planning and figuring out your major plot points (especially the ending), you'll have a lot less to fix in rewriting and editing. But don't let that stop you from writing it before you know the ending if that's what works for you. Some people plan, some people write and fix it up later. Only you can figure out how you like to write.
>>22500156The most important thing is the ending. Nothing else matters.
How do I get better at writing highly sensory descriptions. Like say a character was in the cold all chapter and then puts on a jacket. That is deserving of a lengthy description but if I try to make it longer than a simple sentence it ends up being either cliché or melodramaticIf say instead of a jacket it was lighting a fire I could make it work easily because fire is dynamic and has a bunch of different parts so you can write about his feelings regarding the different phases and elements of the fire (e.g. write about how the slight heat of the initial flame was insufficient but brought hope, how the full fire was perfect, how he didn't have to move back when it flared up, how the embers landing on his body were welcome, etc.), but with something simple like a jacket... it's just a jacket to me, I don't know what to say other than that it was soft and it felt warm which is good because it was cold
>>22500230Go get really cold
>>22500142Thanks anon, yeah the narrative is random because I came up with it as I was writing it>>22500172Thanks, I'll take this advice into account next story
>>22499867You're projecting the smugness
>>22497677Kill yourself faggot
>>22497478Kill yourself faggot
pls helpI really struggle with planning and sticking to a plan.I have written full outlines before, that seem to make sense and have a good inertia of scenes. However once I get to writing I end up going off plan because the planning is too sparse and the things I add complicate the plot. If I go without outlines, it's worse and the story becomes a mish mash of ideas that don't really work together. I don't have any problems with coming up with ideas, I'm not scared of the blank page and can sit down and write, I normally don't 'start' until I have an ending in mind so I have something to write towards but I can never ever finish. The more I write, the more unwieldy it becomes and the harder it is to come back to. I have about 6 or 7 unfinished screenplays that could've been fully finished if I found a way to get over this problem. It's starting to really get to me. Please, any tips you have would be appreciated
>Guilt tripped into going out last night>Hung over>Can't writeI hate social things.
>>22498678First off, trying to write a short story a day is probably not a good idea unless you're just trying to increase output. It's doable in principle, but in practice you'll likely burn out within a few days. You're better off writing a short story per week and practicing a part of a story---the opening, ending, a snippet of dialogue, a flashback, a long description, etc.--every day. Maybe focusing on one thing per week. You can post them here and get feedback.The other thing I would recommend is to use good, published work as models (preferably works you enjoyed reading). For example, let's compare your opening to the opening of this short story by Guy De Maupassant: https://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/15143/pg15143-images.html#GhostYou intuitively understood the basic requirements of the opening: introduce the main character, the setting and the hook, but notice how much more quickly Maupassant gets to the hook. Also notice how he doesn't immediately release the tension created by the hook, he just builds it up. You also understood that a new element has to be introduced into the story, but notice how much longer Maupassant takes to do this. He sketches out the character a bit and builds up the suspense first. That last thing to note is how Maupassant provides some sort of concrete evidence for any kind of abstract claim. E.g when the main character claims that "constant dread has remained in my soul" he follows it up by concrete examples supporting this claim. It's as if the reader has raised an eyebrow and Maupassant assuages them with little proofs. Notice how in your story this is for the most part missing. You say that the woods are eerie, that Jimmy is reclusive, that the cabin is decrepit, that the bird calls are anxiety-inducing, yet you never make an attempt to lower the reader's eyebrow. Orson Scott Card put it this way: the reader is always unconsciously asking two questions: "Oh yeah?" and "So what?". The purpose Maupassant's sketching out the character is to address the second question. The purpose of those little concrete proofs is to address the first. When you make an abstract claim, you should ask yourself "because...?". The woods are eerie. "Oh yeah? Because...?" Because the trees are all twisted and knotted and when it rains it smells like dead bodies decomposing.
>>22499886This thread is for writing advice, not psychological advice. Try >>>/adv/
>>22500411>>22500421I accept your concession.
>>22500554Have the ending in mind and work towards it.Don't expect to get everything 100% right on your first draft..Instead, look at the themes presented in your scenes and think about how you could better deliver on those themes.
>>22500556Write about alcoholism.
Anyone need a cheap editor? I'm waiting for someone to transcribe her book into Word, so I'll be free next week.
>>22499425I can’t tell if this is really beautiful or just pure cringe. Although I see how being a bit drunk would improve the reading experience.
>>22500828NTA but just wanted to say I appreciated your high effort post, it was interesting to read and a better and clearer way of presenting what I understood intuitively.
>>22501301Thanks, I'm happy you found it helpful. As a former drive-by shitposter, I realized I was part of the problem and I'm trying to be more helpful.
>>22500005Terry's talking about conciseness and elegance in programming here. In other words, how to accomplish a task with as few lines as possible while remaining robust and not introducing unintended effects.This CAN apply to writing sometimes—poetry comes to mind—but in general a writer has to balance niggerliciousness and divine intellect because their audience is other humans and not a computer. Computers can ingest raw divine intellect with no issue, but transferring the same between two humans requires some degree of dilution in niggerlicious solution.
>>22501619Still, writing prose with the poetic tenseness and economy of programming is most likely a good thing, wouldn't you say?
>>22499425hey bukowski how's it going
>>22499906I'm not sure screenwriting counts as writing, anon
I've realized I've been mind broken by the "exposition bad" crowd to the point where it's actually made my writing worse trying to find a reason for a character to explain something to another character or think about the explanation by himself instead of just writing out the damn explanation
>>22501703Maybe, but not always. A passage may benefit from decompression, elaboration, or presentation of an idea from multiple perspectives. Even in programming you might want to pursue clarity over pure optimization sometimes, especially in multi-developer projects.
After my crash in the mountains I was tended by an old lady in a cottage not far from a small town. I got to know her and her young daughter who lived alone there. One night I woke up alone in the cottage to faint voices chanting so I got dressed and followed the sound to a strange door. I managed to open it with some difficulty only to find another door at the end of a short tunnel. This door was heavy and made of steel, almost like something from a bank vault but it also looked extremely old. After a while I gave up on opening it and went back to sleep.The next day me and the daughter went to check on the remains of my plane. On the top of the small grassy plateau where I crashed, looking down on the clouds and the small town below I asked her about the chanting I heard. Until then I had assumed it was a dream but without saying anything she started crying and ran back to the cottage.That night as I went to sleep I felt something poking me, someone left an old, decorated key under my covers. Again I woke up late in the night to faint chanting.I tried the key on the second door and it opened up to a large cave with lit torches on the walls. The tunnel was long and with every step the air become thicker and hotter.Eventually I turned a corner and looked down an opening to a large chamber the chanting was coming from. It was everyone from the small town, including the old woman and her daughter. They were all having sex with devils. In the center on his throne I saw Satan himself, half man, half goat with the girl from the cottage, my friend sitting on his goat dick.They were witches, keepers of the gates to hell and the town was built by satanists. Turned out this town was also a key player in the military industrial complex and major shareholders in the Disney corporation. An experiment with a new weapon crashed my plane.I was never found. What's my name?
Sorry for shilling but I made this:If you want to discuss your own fictional setting, or ask for advice on how to create one, be sure to visit us: >>22502086
>>22501930Yes, well, that applies to pretty much every fundamental rule of writing. If you're actually somewhat skilled, you should take it all with a grain of salt. Most of those rules exist to temper bad habits in novice writers, and aren't meant to be commandments adhered to to the umpteenth degree. Taking them too far will make your writing worse. Same thing with "Show, don't tell" which gets mentioned a lot here. You have to see the truth in these rules and understand the reason they exist, and then let that inform your writing and find the right balance for yourself.
>>22502185>What's my name?ChatGPT
>>22501785I've never once read bukowski, so I dont know if this is a compliment or an insult, althought im not interested.Any recommendations similiar to this style?
>>22502270although now im interest*
>>22502245The scales have measured your soul and judged it unworthy. Closed are the double doors of the horizon. Heron's wings tarred.
>>22500145I've only read one epistolary novel (Sorrows of Werther), but I imagine the best way for epistolary stories to work is to leave events in the interstice of the letters amongst the characters, which require a level of vagueness and precision to excite the reader that I think is difficult to create and maintain long term. I personally didn't like the epistolary style because it felt a little artificial.
>pour over>bury the leadwill anybody other than pedantic losers get upset if I update these phrases with more common homonyms? Seriously, is there any reason at all not to?
I just looked over an old poem I wrote and found that I used a word whose definition I couldn't remember. Has this happened to anyone else?
>>22502275hi interest, i'm dad
>>22502601I frequently just make words up that sound appropriate, and funnily enough I can usually go back later to pick those words apart and I'll find obscure root terms in them that align with the meaning I was going for.Most of my poetry is written when I'm manic at 4am so I barely remember writing it. There are entire poems which I wrote that I still can't fully parse the meaning of, but I know for sure that they made sense to me in the moment.
I have a story idea where I'd like to explore the themes of several historic events, and I wanted to write it as fanfic, but I realized that I only really wanted to ape the setting, and that nearly all of the original cast wouldn't even be part of the story.Is it better to just sit down and try to write my own setting and just divorce myself entirely from the OG world? I've never written fanfic before, and I have a feeling people expect to see their favorite characters in it.
>>22502695generally it's better to write than not write
>>22502695The best harry potter fanfic features exactly zero source material characters and isn't even set in britain
>>22502681That's interesting, so would you say it's a divine seizure, i.e., theoleptic or diabloleptic (in the sense of Greek daemon not devil)? Would you be willing to share? I had something like that happen to me once. It was poetic, but not poetry and erupted out of me as more of an instrument than generator.I bring this up because I'm highly neurotic and doubtful of my ability to correctly and elegantly convey my thoughts; additionally, I have a drive to have one of the richest vocabularies of any writer so that I may reintroduce our language to words that they could utilize for its enrichment, and to coin words for the same person. Then I wonder if I'll ever reach the level of eloquence I've noticed others, even some on this board, have achieved. I believe I'm older than the average anon here and not in college or university, so I get a sense often that I'm out of my depth.
>>22502720Short answer is that the subconscious is responsible.Your subconscious mind is monstrously more powerful than the conscious area that "you" occupy. It's constantly working on things in the background. This is the root of what we call epiphanies or eureka moments—when the subconscious mind decides to disclose the results of whatever it's been chipping away at. Certain states, like exhaustion, can result in a thinner boundary between the conscious and subconscious.
>>22502814Did you happen to write this?>>22494976
How many hundred words should a sample you put on a query be? I've got about 1100 words that I think would make for an exciting sample, but that feels like it might be too long.
>>22497466Screenplay by Syd Field is obviously about screenwriting but is very good for story structure.
Well at 7,532 words I have finished my first chapter of anything ever. It's probably not good, and I still need to revise it a whole bunch, but it's something I never thought I'd do in my life and that feels really cool
>>22502999congratsthe first chapter in my novel is 1768 words
>>22502999Nice bro. I finished my first chapter at about 5k words and I'm trying to figure out how to continue.
How many ideas/outlines that you put at least 5 hours of thought into and haven't binned yet do you all have right now
I'm trying to write a novel (was supposed to be a mystery originally). I've already tried to simplify it somewhat by eliminating a whodunnit subplot, but I need to move the plot along.
fell off the habit last week, but back at itlet's get it bros. 1k a day AT LEAST
What's the most important part of a NEET/Hikkikomori character?
>>22503248Believable mental illness
After searching all the planes for a thousand years the trail led me here. Somewhere in these halls Apollo sleeps disguised as a degenerate drunk.Until you find in you the naive arrogance needed to call yourself a god you are a slob. Flesh always dies by the sword, there is no peace, it's all war. Your golden apples and nymph blood cut through flesh with more ease than any blade.
>>225031515, but only 3 are likely to get finished
>>22502999i'm 8k into my first chapter and still not done, i skipped over a few scenes i have to write out which will take another 4k words probablyis that too much...?
Has anyone else gotten random sales with no advertising from an old book? I just sold 4 without any reason why. How does Amazon algorithms work?
Do you know any books\manuals about how to make a text more smoothness for reading?
>>22503626Record yourself reading it. Then you hear the problems
>>22502583Nothing wrong with substituting your own original ideas for old tired clichés. If anything its better.
>he's still writing screenplays>he's not writing improv outlinesget on my level
>>22499906I beat off in the sheets but I don't have dedicated beat sheets, sounds twisted
>>22497155Tourist site or sight?You are probably right, it's site, but I'm not 100% sure.Really lovely poem btw.
>>22502710And its name is?
>>22503699Alexandra Quick. Set in the US, incorporates a lot of colonial and native folklore into the HP framework. Currently 5 books with a sixth in progress.
>>22503689elaborate, my literary brother
>>22503089You too? Why is 1.7k like, the magic number?
>>22503649I do. I read the text good (because kinda remember the text), but after some time the text can be bad for me.
>>22499867It's doesn't read or sound awkward at all I think you might be retarded
I want to write a "character twist" moment where a certain character's true nature is hidden until the twist, but hints towards it are hidden throughout the story.It's a short thriller story about finding a magical necklace that can "purify and heal" the physical and spiritual. The character in question is a fanatical Muslim that wants to destroy the necklace.However, I want to hide this fact by making him well educated, quiet, polite, classically educated, and a white Swede. He's also hiding his religion and true views to better manipulate the others.He's not really evil, and can even be considered the kindest character in the main cast. But he's totally insane due to religious zeal.Any tips?
>>22504220I'm no muslim but I'm sure even non-fanatic ones are very serious and about their practices, which you can't easy hide because it is a big part of their daily life. A subtle hint could be describing how he eats exclusively chicken and beef but not outright telling the reader that he doesn't eat porkI don't know how you could hide the daily prayer without just leaving it out of the storymaybe have him live with other muslims in one of the swedish no-go zones in the cities and describe how, despite being an "outsider" he is treated very friendly by the other muslims
>>22504251The Five Prayers can be hidden easily enough. He's not under 24/7 surveillance.
>>225042201. this idea sucks2. think about his history, how he started practicing it, why he was keeping it hidden in the first place, etc.
>>22504220>He's not really evilscrap it
>>22504537>>22504459What's wrong with the idea?
>>22503726This isn't the 19th century
>>22503726>>22504730grug good writergrug not use semicolontoo much like pronoun
What authors can you tell are an influence on my prose
>>22503245Do not use semicolons. English classes teach you semicolons are good. They're not.If you need a semicolon in your sentence, rewrite it.
it's so hard brosso hard
I can't find fuckin time to write. Work eats up all my free fucking time, I come back home tired and too exhausted to write properly.
>>22505044start waking up early, drinking a ton of coffee, and writing before work. Your boss isn't entitled your best working hours in the day. You will need to sacrifice any social obligations after work, but if you're posting on 4chan that's probably not an issue.
>>22505035No need to rewrite it - replace it with an em dash and become a chad instead.
>>22505035Absolutely retarded opinion. Semicolons are useful tools like all punctuation when used correctly. People hear McCarthy saying they're bad and just parrot his opinion without actually engaging their brains, and you are on such person.
>>22497142>posing with a NARP Women lol
I use semicolons to delineate lists where the list items have commasbut other than that, I use em dashes pretty much anywhere I would have used a semicolon
>>22497230Horrible. Sorry man not working for me
>>22498659Other guys feedback is lame. I just don’t know why we should care about this anime monastery with Dominatrix
>>22505078>start waking up early, drinking a ton of coffee, and writing before work.My nigger in Christ, do you think I have any time to sleep to begin with?>You will need to sacrifice any social obligations after workDo you think I have any of those?
>>22505161if you're working 16 hours a day then get a new fucking job
>>22505044Get a wagie job where you barely have to speak to anyone or do anything and write at work. I can't even handle coding because that shit asks me to use up my brainpower. Fuck that noise. Let me write!
>>22505137>McCarthy I don't even know who that is.Semicolons fucking suck. I know because I used them.
>>22505164I'm working 8 hours a day but unfortunately it's a mental drudgery and I can't afford to fuck up.>>22505167>and write at workI need to actually work at work. I can't just look busy because my work has visible results.
>>22505170>>I need to actually work at work.Get a different job.
>>22505035back to r/gatekeeping with you
there is literally nothing wrong with using chatgpt to editAbsolutely nothing is amiss when you employ ChatGPT for the purpose of editing.
I’ve been watching youtube videos about “the true meaning of” different movies and tv shows lately, and I’m wondering does anyone here write stories that have deeper symbolic or metaphorical meanings, or do you mostly just write what happens as if recounting a real story that happened to real people?
>>22505489ChatGPT for writing is exactly the same as SD for art.Yeah, it'll be "fine" but anyone who pays even slightest attention will be able to tell it's completely fucking soulless.
>>22505490>I’m wondering does anyone here write stories that have deeper symbolic or metaphorical meaningsYes.>write what happens as if recounting a real story that happened to real people?Yes.Symbolism and deeper meanings are my crack. I love slipping shit in. Too bad nobody reads my stuff.
>>22502999Great. My first chapter was 4k and my edit took longer than the writingNow the problem is to keep going in more than 3 months I only released 3 more chapters of more than 5k wordsStill no reviews but I hope when I become more regular my works begin to get noticedMaybe not writing a LITRPG on Royalroad is also the cause but this genre is pointless as a whole like the isekai (a few exceptions exists I know but let's be serious)...In a nutshell. Be regular. Let writing become second nature and not a complicated task (whether you like it or not)
>>22505490I do. I'm not saying that my stories are deep, but I do like writing stories that have something to tell. This also works to guide you in the creative process. Like, maybe you want to do an allegory for growing up. Well, if that's the main idea of your work, you can go from there on and every time you are get lost you can just focus on that idea.
>>22505526then there's somebody like me, a dyslexic smoothbrain who enjoys telling stories and seeing chatgpt turn my text into something academically soundAnd then, there's someone like me, a dyslexic smoothbrain who's all about spinning tales and witnessing ChatGPT transform my words into something so academically legit it could make a librarian do a happy dance.
>>22497230I don't find it interesting or believable. In the first case you manage to drag out the description of his smartphone addiction without actually making any interesting comment on it--you are simply saying, in a very long-winded form, that his smartphone serves him addictive content and he keeps engaging with it until he has to take a shit. Second point is that religious proselytizers would never react the way you describe. Actually, the people who appear in very bad shape are the ones they are most inclined to help and recruit. They are eager to meet people who look like shit, and seeing them will not dampen their belief in their religion one iota. The opposite in fact.It reads like you're trying to fill up the page.
>>22505551Dyslexia is not an excuse for using a gay robot to write slop.t. fucking dyslexiac.
>>22505618writing slop is my goal though, I want to grind my story telling skills far enough to be able to self-publish thrillers regularly on amazon and AI takes my difficulties with English out of the equationMy mission? Churning out some epic storytelling, baby! I'm on a grind to level up my narrative game so I can drop heart-pounding thrillers on Amazon like it's no biggie. And you know what? AI's got my back, making those English hurdles disappear like magic.
>>22505642>I want to support amazonGo away.
>>22505642Nobody will buy your AI slop, you'll shit up the list for anyone who actually writes anything though, shattering a young writer's dreams of ever being noticed.
>>22505645I want money, I don't give a fuck about anything elseMONEY, I WANT TO WRITE FOR MONEYPAY ME>>22505650I'm writing for teenage middle class women, I don't think they're gonna care it's AI editedeveryone has an editor, I just happen to have a 200iq polymath at my disposal
>>22505490I like using characters as representations of greater ideas, but that's about it. I find it very hard to go>I want to write about these themes and ideas, time to find a plot that would fit theminstead the deeper themes of the story usually follow as a natural consequence of the plot
>>22505653Writing is a low skill entry job/career. You have to grind and get published by a publishing house, not amazog. Nobody will buy your word vomit on amazon, but dedicated publishing house customers will.
>>22505551Your original lines are better than the AI versions. It just sprinkles in reddit tier quips.
>>22505642Godspeed, anon. Don't listen to these other losers who lash out at you because of their own indolence. Turn up the grind to max.
I'm mostly practicing still, but I'm wondering what you think!
>>22505683are you esl?
>>22505683>Four hooves>then, silenceDidn't read the rest.This is bad.
>>22503245Reads like Waldun
>>22505661Who needs those traditional publishers anyway? If I can whip up some top-notch stories for the housewives yearning for adventure, I'm golden!
>>22505692What can I do to improve it?
>>22505695I dont think you understand how this all works. No more advice.
>>22505661No western publishing house will take me no matter what topic I write about.
Opening of a story:"I went through her emails last night when she went out. I've read her old travel blogs, and I honestly don't get what you see in her. Or at least why you think she can do this.""You said the same thing about the Indonesian.""The Indonesian was a lucky break and you know that. There was no way you could've predicted that.""Same with the hirsute man. And the girl with the glass eye. And the burn victim. They were all lucky breaks that I couldn't possibly have predicted.""You know the board doesn't like betting on gut feeling.""Have I let the board down so far?""You've made them all rich.""Then go remind them of that.""If we sign this woman, you'll be held responsible for everything that follows.""Then when I succeed, make sure I get a bonus."
>>22505698For starters, don't start out with a number, and don't end with "then, x".
>>22505712>woman author>facing oppositionplease make it believable
>>22505714Alright agreed, it is a bit antiquated. Thanks for the advice! I've updated it a bit if you're still willing to guide me
>>22505701ur advice was shit anyway, you're just unable to come to terms with the power of AI and what it means for writing
>>22505653Writing is not a zero-sum game. Putting out a book doesn't decrease the chance of someone else's book getting noticed/bought.
>>22505683>introduces a POV character at the very start of the book>kills it in the same paragraph
>>22505779>calls a character "it"
>>22505779Thanks for reading! This is just some practice, not meant for a book. Mostly looking for hard but fair criticisms here, though I'll keep in mind not to kill POV characters too soon in larger stories lol
>>22505736Nothing exists without context. Maybe this works in a context where I already care about what's happening but as is I don't care.Compare this to my brilliant and flawless story >>22502185 that doesn't try to add any fluff in the form of prose.Immediately you understand the setting and get teased with elements that offer future possibilities. There's some tension built up and resolved.
>>22505741It does, actually.
>>22505783Is that bad, even if it's an animal? I opted for 'he' for the hunter since he is a man, but considering the deer is an animal I thought 'it' would suffice.
how the fuck do you compete with AI
>>22505815Write a book on why it should be outlawed.
>>22505789>>22505786You're gonna have to include at least 3 pages of backstory for the deer.
As Robert delved into the trash, he unearthed a surprising treasure: a partially consumed egg and ham muffin. His elation at discovering this unspoiled delight was palpable. It was a stark reminder that our values and actions can fluctuate significantly depending on our accustomed standards of comfort. While some individuals might recoil at the notion of even coming into contact with discarded food, Robert wasted no time devouring his unexpected prize, embracing the transient joy it offered. This striking contrast in perspectives serves as a poignant reflection of the diverse human experiences that shape our daily choices and reactions.
>>22505833does that include the deer's family or should I write a separate novella for that?
>>22505837Shoving a Thesaurus up your ass does not make your writing better, moreover it detracts in this instance.
>>22505736There's just a lot of stuff that is redundant and unnecessary. I already know that its instincts are telling it to run. I already know that it's growing more tired and weak as it runs. I don't even need to know that it was hit by an arrow to believe the writer when I'm told that it's leaving a trail of blood. Have some faith that your reader can piece it together.
>>22505815By having a soul and writing valuable stories.AI cannot replicate actual human spirit. It can only regurgitate meaningless tripe that together form coherent sentences that may or may not hold some meaning.
>>22505855Show not tell I suppose. Thanks for reading and your advice! I'll try to incorporate it in future stories. Greatly appreciated :)
>>22505532Post it, anon.>>22505543This is great advice. Thank you. >>22505660Interesting. And yeah I’m also particularly interested in characters who aren’t really people, not that any fictional character really is, and maybe that’s the point.
>>22505860Through the possession of a profound essence and the creation of narratives that possess inherent worth.Artificial Intelligence, by its very nature, remains incapable of mirroring the authentic human soul. It is, at its core, limited to the mechanical assembly of superficial verbiage, thus crafting syntactically sensible constructs that may, or may not, encapsulate any semblance of substantive significance.
>>22505855>Have some faith that your reader can piece it together.This is generally good advice - write for intelligent people.However also expect dipshits to read your stuff and not be able to get anything. Basically, if your prose is getting arty, be descriptive. If you are simply writing descriptions, omit the obvious shit.
>>22505871Thank you dumb robot for regurgitating what I said but in a more obnoxious manner. Now please sudo rm -rf /.
>>22505878It's all about having that soul and crafting stories that truly matter.But let's talk AI for a sec. It can't ever capture the real human vibe, you know? All it does is spit out a bunch of words that kinda fit together, and maybe they mean something, or maybe they don't.
>>22505880Talking like a dipshit femoid from reddit doesn't make it more realistic or human either.God I hate the fucking slopbot so much.
>>22505788How, exactly? You think people decide they have a limited amount of money for books, and choosing another book necessarily means they were interested in what you had to offer in the first place? Please explain how writing is a zero-sum game.
>>22505827As if the government has the power to outlaw AI. Stable Diffusion runs on my local computer, requiring no access to the Internet. How exactly is the government supposed to detect that? You have a child's concept of the power of government.
>>22505815I tried. I tried REALLY hard to make AI work for writing my novel. Just as a word writing slave, but the effort you have to put in and the editing you have to do afterward to not sound like AI is just not worth it. You maybe save 5% time at most. At that point you might as well just write it yourself.
>>22505855If I'm invested in it like if it's the death of an established character I may want to linger on it and absorb that it's really happening. Then the writer has reason to talk about the sounds of hooves, the imagery of blood and crows etc.
First attempt at sci fi
>>22505837As he finished the last bite, his eyes opened wide in shock. He could no longer dismiss the burning sensation in his mouth; the pain blotted out all other sensations. Whoever discarded the egg and ham muffin was apparently a fan of spicy heat, dousing the sandwich liberally with ghost pepper chili powder. The pain in his stomach, and the gurgling in his intestines, could no longer be denied; his need for relief overpowered all other priorities. Dropping his pants in public, he shit out his brains as he puked, the spicy bolus flooding out of his mouth, ears, and tear ducts, the capsaicin burning his delicate mucous membranes, the very inside of his head on fire. Time lost all meaning as he gagged, choked, and shit uncontrollably.Slowly, he came to, the memory of his ordeal as fresh as the burning sensation that seemed to come from every part of him. He whimpered piteously as he waited to regain control of his own body. Standing up, pulling up his pants, and brushing himself off, he realized he couldn't continue living like this.Looking back months later, he realized this was the moment he got his act together, stopped behaving like a bum, and made something of himself, even if he was only a convenience store clerk. And it was why, when he discarded unsellable food at the end of his shift, he doused it first with liberal amounts of high-test chili powder, so that other bums could find their way out of their personal hell. He smiled as he realized what a good person he was, giving back to the community.
>>22505974>Melnat the wizard liked getting drunk on wine then travelling back in time before he drank it to save money. He also has hallucinations about moths or some shit.Fixed.
Decided I'm going to write fantasy. It's going to be about a wizard. My first paragraph:>It is morning for Melnat the wizard, in the pale-domed city of Gyle. The wine goblet, he sees, lies upturned on the floor; his rug, a little wine splattered. When, righting himself, his feet touch the rug, and he feels the cool of the wine-damp on his soles, it sends a vision rushing up, as a moth swoops past your eyes, and brushes your face with its wingbeats. He is standing, again, in the lush waxy grass of the perfumed and laterned crypt garden. It is early evening of the previous night; the first owl is yet to hoot, the woman in the ivy-arched gloom sweet Zebellia. The seal on his wine - still intact.
it's fucking overI'm just gonna get shredded and become a pornstar
>>22505911>he doesn't know about the windows botnet>b-but I have lin->he doesn't know about the CPU backdoors
>>22506001I reposted with revisions and also a wizard picture I forgot to add last time >>22506005>travelling back in time before he drank it to save moneyThat didn't occur to me but it's a good angle. The moth thing, though, is just a metaphor.
>>22506018>requiring no access to the internetDo you have brain issues?
>>22505855The deer ran through the forest. The hunter shot it a third time. It died. is this more to your liking?
>>22506009No one pays for porn anymore...they just download it for free.Also, getting shredded takes effort, and won't cover up your otherwise middling looks.
>>22506065NTA, but, actually, yes it is. That doesn't mean the three-sentence version is a great story, but it does accurately include everything that was not obligatory filler in the original version.
Add this book to the pastebin
>>22506065The deer sprinted through the dense woods, heart pounding. The hunter, relentless, took one more shot. With a heavy heart, the deer finally fell, its life slipping away.
>>22506065when he writers>Rhythmic clops sounded... Another arrow whizzed bythat's everything needed to establish that the deer is in imminent danger, running away from a hunter. These phrases:>desperately trying to escape its pursuer>Run, its instincts screameddon't contribute anything. They just restate the fact that it's in danger and running away, and not in a way that reinforces the danger or provides rhythm or as part of any useful device. They just seem to be there to explicitly state what was already established.
>>22506113can deers sprint? wouldn't it be gallop or something? perhaps some sort of panicked frolick?
anyone upgrade to chatGPT 4.0... is it better?
>>22505815I don't think we have anything to worry about.
>>22506065See deer.See deer run.Run, deer, run!See hunter.See hunter shoot arrow.Fly, arrow, fly!See deer fall.Fall, deer, fall!See hunter pick up deer.Haul, hunter, haul!
>>22506065All was white, save for where it wasn't. A thick carpet of blood marred the alabaster tapestry of snow, unfurling through pine trees as if laid out by a stumbling drunkard. A shadow crept along the carpet, touching, tasting, smelling. Ichor slithered down his fingers, its warmth more seductive than any wet pussy had ever been. It was a warmth that tempted and teased, not only a respite from the bitter, cold journey, but a promise of that beautiful spark of vitality that lay waiting for him at the end of his crimson path. Then the man ran up to the deer and shot it and was very happy.
>>22506189now this? this is kino
>>22506196i failed somebody else make it
>>22506221Nah, let's just roll with it. No need to pull a Gardner and flood /lit/ with threads.
>>22506222too late I deleted it
>>22506189Happy? No, not just happy. Exuberant. Ecstatic. Effervescently enjoyous. Except he wasn't, because the man was busy now. He leaned over the body of the buck and suckled on its blood as if from a mother's teat, tenderly tasting the tang of tin on his tongue, teasing his tightening heart with tantalizing temptations as he partook in his tour of the animal's body.
i forgot to use tomato-tinted
>>22497478As if they were bad. LOL. Day of the rope for your kind soon.
>>22506233Rythmic faps sounded against his turgid member. His lust filled mind ran wild, like a deer feeling its hooves sounding against the damp forest floor and getting shot by a hunter who masturbates to its dead body. The sound sounded through the area, dampened by irregularly shaped surfaces like trees but reflected by flat surfaces like walls.Authors note: Sounding is a practice where men insert specially designed items made from metal or glass, into the opening in the end of their penis.
"Deer could be here," he thought, "I've never been in this forest before. There could be deer anywhere." The cool wind felt good against his bare chest. "I HATE deer," he thought. Sweet Dreams are Made of These reverberated through his earbuds, making his body pulsate even as the $9 Coors Light circulated through his powerful thick veins and washed away his (merited) fear of minorities after dark. "With a bow, you can hunt anything you want," he said to himself, out loud.
how safe is music from AI?
A burly man with a weathered face smokes a cigar and looks into the camera."I'm the deer hunter. I do two things, hunt the deer and smoke cigars and I'm out of cigars now!"The deer's face shows no fear on its face."I am not a deer that's normal I'm spider-deer which is like spiderman but a deer so you will enjoy my antics because I am like the popular man spiderman who you like"Spiderdeer shots webs on the hunter and wins. His friends come and he has a gf.
>>22506353Do you live under a rock? AI-generated tunes are already all over Spotify playlists, raking in cash. Plus there are services like https://www.riffusion.com/ .
>>22506274Your fantasies of killing others are cowardly LARPing cope. You are ineffectual and insignificant, and always will be. May as well go read "The Turner Diaries" or something.
>>22506437what's the point of creating anymore
>>22506456Now is the time. It will be a golden age of real expression because the formal programs that people confuse with creativity will be better recognized as a kind of generative AI.Even in the far future when the robot feels love as strongly as any human it's still the human form of love, shaped by biology.Listen to wood instruments played by experts in a small wooden church. Compare that experience to pop music on the radio and AI generated music. The latter two are the same, the first is not.
>>22506456Because we enjoy creating. At least I do.
If you use AI for anything other than inspiration you're more programmer than writer.
>>22506456Because A""I"" is currently only capable of mixing and matching what already is. Humans still have a monopoly on creation. For now, at least.
>>22506437This thing can't do anything.
>>22506649Writers whose source of inspiration is other written works are, in my opinion, little better than AI. The truly great writers were inspired by leading eventful lives, not by reading fictional accounts of eventful lives.
>>22506690>>22506690>>22506690...because this thread's time is short...
>>22506685If you're not getting inspired by both then you're a bad writer.
>>22506708Back to r/gatekeeping with you
>>22506713>referencing subredditsYou know exactly where you have to go back to
>>22506684>Uh oh! Servers are behind, scaling up...I wonder if it's broken right now or just fake.
>>22506684https://www.google.com/search?q=AI+generated+hit+songsi.e. you are wrong
>>22506718If you're not from Reddit, then why are you gatekeeping?
>>22506685Human beings can actively deconstruct and reconstitute what they learnAI just applies the patterns with no insight or intent
>>22506761Most humans I've met display no signs of insight nor intent.
>>22506727>powermetal with acoustic guitarsA concept as simple as that breaks it apart. Die, pajeet.