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All my life I’ve loved writing. Within the past two years of my life I began to develop severe OCD. Fast forward to today and I can barely function anymore. Not a day goes by where I don’t think about blowing my brains out, and I fear my time is coming soon. I’ve been a decent novel with interesting world building and themes, but I don’t know if I can finish it. I’m proud of my writing, but I fear I won’t finish my story before my demise. What do I do? Do I just keep fighting and try to finish my story? Do I just accept my life is over and embrace the grasp of death? I’ve shared some of my writing to a few people and I’ve gotten nothing but positive feedback, but I don’t think it’s enough from stopping my suicide. I just can’t handle the OCD and the constant intrusive thoughts anymore. What do I do?
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You should ask a bunch of anons on a literature board what to do next. They'll point you in the right direction.
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>>20362544
Didn't read lmao
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OCD is treatable anon, but you need to get help. At least finish the story before you kill yourself, that's what I decided to do 5 years ago and as I still haven't finished it I'm not dead. Good luck.
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>>20362544
>I’ve been a decent novel with interesting world building and themes

I would like to know more about your experiences being a novel. What were you about? What was it like to turn your own pages? And how did it all come to an end, when you (presumably) turned into a human again.
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The fact that you recognise that these thoughts are intrusive, means that you're ready to accept the obvious: Demons are giving you these thoughts, and they are not your own.

Pray to Christ. He will help.
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>>20362595
I meant to say I’ve been writing a decent novel sorry
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>>20362598
I’ve literally cried and begged to Christ for help but my condition has only gotten worse, despite trying various different meds, therapy, meditation, natural supplements, etc
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>>20362544
You sound like you legitimately need to go to therapy, but you've obviously probably thought about that before. What is the reason that you haven't done so?
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>>20362612
I don’t really see how therapy would help? It’s not like they can just cure my OCD and intrusive thoughts. The cork room is literally incurable, and the best they can do is help me “cope” with it. I don’t want to cope with it I want it gone completely. And I feel like a total pussy talking to a therapist about my problems. At least here it’s all anonymous
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>>20362633
Condition* not cock room idk what the fuck my auto correct dude there
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>>20362633
bruh so you’re using 4chan as a replacement for your therapist?
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how does it just come on like that as an adult? you've got me worried as I've always felt like my mind is ocdish but not too badly.
I'm 24 and it's gotten worse but some other things have gotten better like general energy and work ethic. So idk
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>>20362544
they finally banned your spamming ass from /adv/ have they?
you seriously must be a troll or something man why do you continue to ignore all advice given to you?

>>20362598
for real, why are you christfags like this? it never helps and it never will because its a physical problem. this advice is even worse than saying nothing.
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>>20362544
The best thing you can do is hang in there. Even if it's a constant struggle, creating something new and feeling proud of it is the only joy in this life. Don't give up yet
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>>20362544
Read rewire your ocd brain

Learn meditation for OCD
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>>20362633
>It’s not like they can just cure my OCD and intrusive thoughts
There's no cure for anything. There are, however, better ways to manage it. You don't seem like you're managing it well.
>And I feel like a total pussy talking to a therapist about my problems
What makes you a bigger pussy is being afraid of feeling like a pussy to the point where you refuse to help yourself get better. Does that make sense? Avoiding the feeling of being a pussy does not make you strong. Paradoxically, it makes you an even bigger pussy. Sack up, anon. Confront that fear of a feeling.
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Hello anon. I've suffered with OCD my whole life, but last summer I was at my worst. I would break down daily because I couldn't handle my thoughts. I became miserable and I will lash out in anger at anyone who will try to comfort me, because I knew in the end they wouldn't get it. In September I was finally convinced to seek help, and I was told by my doctor to get on meds but I didn't want to start taking them right away so I seeked help from a psychotherapist. Yesterday was my last day seeing him, and I'm glad to say that I'm at the point where I don't need him. There's is no cure for OCD, but I learned to combat it to the point that I can eliminate intrusive thoughts the moment they get in my head, and do the same for any actions triggered by it, so I'm not bothered by it anymore. I know everyone's experience with OCD is different, so the advice he gave me may not work on you. Nevertheless I encourage you to seek help, and not give up yet. I love you anon, good luck.
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>>20362603
eh then you either god has a plan for you or, more likely, you deserve it sinner. either way your lot is to suffer and you should be happy with it because it is a gift from the all mighty.
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>>20362633
I can not understand how complaining to strangers on an online message board can somehow be seen as a better alternative to therapy (unless you dont have the money). you should feel like a pussy and an idiot for taking this course of action over actually getting help.
>I dont want to cope I just want it to stop
unfortunately that is not how it works friend. you cant escape your mind, but you can quite it a bit with sufficient concentration and practice. Talking to a therapist is an initiation process into a better mental state (not a prefect one but better can be food enough). Im sorry you are dealing with this but the true tragedy here is not your mental illness, it is that you live in a personal world that cultivated a shame in you toward continuing to live and thrive through whatever means are at your disposal.
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>>20362680
>>20363248
case in point.
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>>20362851
Too wholesome, hope OP sees it. Nothing will top this.
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>>20362563
nice one carlos
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>>20362544
If you actually believe psychiatric or psychological illness are real and untreatable by the individual then you're not writing anything of worth. The world isn't losing out on a genius. Feel free to do what you want :)
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>>20362544
One word: Paxil

It will save your life. But you'll have to sacrifice your dick.
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>>20363404
did you miss the part where OP is unwilling to do the bare minimum because it makes him feel less manly? how do you think he is going to react to his dick not working right?
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>>20363404
>>20363413
I’ve already tried Paxil along with multiple different meds and nothing has helped
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>>20362563
Not a pun, nice one retard. Unless... this was intentional!?
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>>20362544
It's all right man, don't take it too seriously. Take a break and relax, it's easy as hard as it may sound.
Use the time you were given here, in this reality, to enjoy existence and develop yourself as a human being. Only then will writing become enjoyable egain.
Hang on, I know you can do it. You have to be strong.
Best of luck.
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>>20362544
I have mild OCD which involves intrusive thoughts as well. Can you share your experience, OP?
In any case, I recommend to seek a psychiatrist who can prescribe something to ease your symptoms. In my experience, even a low dosage of SSRI was enough. They won't go entirely away, at least not in stressful situations, but they won't disturb you as much. Your case seems more serious so take a high dosage.
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>>20362544
I want to write a graphic novel, but I can't draw.
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>>20363248
>eh then you either god has a plan for you or, more likely, you deserve it sinner
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just-world_hypothesis

Take your meds
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>>20362544
Then stop writing. What’s a the issue.
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>>20362544
just fix the source of your anxiety bro. it doesn't come out of nowhere. you're neglecting something important. funny thing is, you already know exactly what.
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>>20363404
I've been taking Paxil for years and somehow I can still jerk off, it just takes slightly longer. If I don't take it for a day or two I finish in 10-20 seconds.
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>>20362544
>I’ve been a decent novel with interesting world building and themes
>literally can't even understand the idea of designing a readable post

Dude, the problem is not your OCD. It's literally that you simply try to find excuses and overestimate your abilities.

Just write your book, don't try to judge yourself, and move on.
There is nothing worth in life than following the "school system" which is all about destroying your life and your love for science.

Just accept that school was a waste of time, that all your teachers were retarded fucktards who were too stupid for a real job, and that your retarded teacher tried to kill your mental health because of envy.

If you ask any person openly what he things about his former school life, and also guarantee this person that everything is 100 % secret and no one will ever know of this, ALL PEOPLE would say school was the worst and most destructive thing in their life.
Even if you ignore bullying and all the other crap with psychopaths in your school, and even assuming all teachers were actually smarter than a potato, SCIENCE HAS PROVEN THAT SCHOOL IS A WASTE OF TIME.

We finally know how the human brain learns and that learning and school are as harmful as it can be. It is VERY IMPORTANT that you accept that you are finally free from the trash school and actually START YOUR LIFE and do what you want. There is no right or wrong, not even language has any official rule and is just man made.

The moment you let go of school and artificial destruction of your brain, you can finally live and improve. I was also once down and thought I couldn't achieve anything in life (I could even read one book in a year). Now I finish one or more books every week and are an active writer. If you ask yourself "how", then it's actually very simple. I said fuck the school, fuck the retarded teacher, I wish them all unemployment and suffering, and just researched everything on my own.
The moment you realize that you are an impenetrable fortress that can achieve anything YOU WANT (and this is the only thing that matters), you will be able to improve. Don't live for other people, because people are retarded and not you.

This isn't even psychological help. It just a fact that school is the biggest crime in human history because NO ONE DOES SOMETHING AGAINST IT. Where is the political outcry against the school system and the fight for homeschooling? NOT ONE politician fights for it. Hell, you can find more politician who fight for a random inhabited piece of land to protect it than for people who get destroyed by the school system and later stigmatized as "failure" because their retarded teacher gave them an "F".
It sounds insane, but humans are still too stupid to understand that school is the biggest scientific genocide in history and grades are the worst invention for learning that literally harms EVERYONE. Even if you are a "A+++" student, you get psychologically fucked if you get then a "B+".
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>>20362544
As someone with severe debilitating OCD: go to a psychotherapist and psychiatrist and stick to it. I’m serious. I don’t care if it makes you “feel like a pussy.” It’s literally what they’re there for and what they’re trained to do. It will work if you trust in it. Killing yourself would be a horrific waste anon. A monstrously destructive action.

I know it’s hard, believe me, I know. But you are not your intrusive thoughts and you can beat them. Get a good therapist. And keep writing. I wanna read your book one day.
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>>20362544
I have severe OCD, being completely serious become Muslim and read Carl Jung. The only way to help this at all is to radically accept your obsessions so that they don’t have any power over you, I don’t know what themes you have so this process could vary
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>>20368353
I used to have one where I wasn’t able to take a shit witho showering afterwards, it was extremely stupid and annoying. I knew how irrational it was has I had been using the toilet for years and nothing happened. But I eventually got over it and just exposed myself to it, this is literally the only thing you can do, you must accept that what you fear could be there and that it doesn’t matter
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>>20362544
The world is a filthy, impure place and nothing here will ever be perfect. It's the imperfections that give it flavor.
You're never going to write the perfect novel because nobody can write the perfect novel.
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>>20362689
>Tfw 6th shot of gin today
I'm not uhhh... G-givin it up! Hahh!
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>>20365742
Libido's a hell of a drug
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>>20366633
How would a psychotherapist help me?
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Bump
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>>20362544
It's funny that OCD is one of the most treatable mental illnesses but because OCD is always about seeking short term relief and reassurance, people with OCD will barely ever get treated. You always just want to try and get right in the moment, and on a gut level feel that the real problem is some specific thought, memory or stressor rather than the whole condition in the first place.
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>>20365942
>I said fuck the school, fuck the retarded teacher, I wish them all unemployment and suffering, and just researched everything on my own.
>The moment you realize that you are an impenetrable fortress that can achieve anything YOU WANT (and this is the only thing that matters), you will be able to improve. Don't live for other people, because people are retarded and not you.
>This isn't even psychological help. It just a fact that school is the biggest crime in human history because NO ONE DOES SOMETHING AGAINST IT. Where is the political outcry against the school system and the fight for homeschooling? NOT ONE politician fights for it. Hell, you can find more politician who fight for a random inhabited piece of land to protect it than for people who get destroyed by the school system and later stigmatized as "failure" because their retarded teacher gave them an "F".
>It sounds insane, but humans are still too stupid to understand that school is the biggest scientific genocide in history and grades are the worst invention for learning that literally harms EVERYONE. Even if you are a "A+++" student, you get psychologically fucked if you get then a "B+".
Based. Fuck education. It's all a dick-sucking contest. Don't know why it's so highly valued in the U.S.
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>>20362544

Find meds for OCD. Many work well to stop Obsessions and compulsions whilst curbing suicidal ideation. Do not romanticize death. Move past this, heal, and finish your book on your terms.
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>>20362544
your answer is probably diligence with a plan.
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>>20362544
>I’ve been a decent novel
A real person with OCD could never make such a shit typo.
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>>20370670
>>20370840
I’ve already tried multiple different types of medications. I take ten pills a day and nothing helps in the slightest. Plus OCD has no cure
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>>20362544
Do what Pessoa did and write about it you sissy. Or do what Knausgaard did and write about it but make sure it's a pile of shit.



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