Frodo my boy, did I ever tell you about the time when Sauron got killed fighting a dog?
>>19734111no, Gandalf the gay... i mean gray, sorry.
Let me tell you, Frodo, of the time Melkor, Sauron's boss, tried to hide is jewellry from a spider. Upon realising the deception, the spider - it was pretty big, I'll admit that at least - attacked him and he lost, so he cried like a bitch so loudly that the earth was rent asunder and his pets had to crawl out of their basements to save him.Funniest shit I ever heard, and to be honest, a big reason why the Valar didn't intervene against Melkor sooner. It was thought prudent to "give him a chance for once."Basically don't fuck with spiders, Frodo.
It was a talking dog.
>>19734111When does that happen?
Noooooooo save me Melkor
>>19737791>Noooooooo save me Melkorok nigga, here I com... oh no I'm being attacked by a spider it's killing me help me balrogs!
>>19737504First Age. Sauron was being a dick to a couple of Aragorn/Elrdon/Arwen ancestors, and their talking dog pet then beated him tu submission. First Age is really, really weird. By power levels ranks, a mere first age talking Dog would had been strong enough to vanquish an entire Third Age army
>>19737791>>19737856I laughed hard at that thanks
>>19738129It's the mythic past, things only need to make insofar as dreams need to make sense; what matters is the symbols and the potency of meaning-making the stories hold.This is what makes the Silmarillion a masterpiece - that Tolkein was able to emulate the natural creation of human myths.
>>19736641no way they grew simple tobacco in shire
>>19737856Don’t worry boss we’ll help… wait a minute, is that a single Gondolin elf captain? OH SHIT, OH FUCK, WE ARE BEING SLAUGHTERED IN DROVES!!!
>>19739873Melkor took so long to build up his forces because he knew he needed 100:1 odds to even have a chance in the final battle.Imagine being an orc and seeing Ancalagon the Black, a dragon the size of mountains, show up on the battlefield and immediately get slain by a single half-elven shipbuilder, accomplishing nothing.
>>19740018I mean that half elven shipbuilder had a flying boat so...
>>19738129pretty sure it wasn't "their talking dog" it was a dog created to be a companion of one of the valar
>>19738129the fucking dog could talk bro
>today i will needlessly surrender my invulnerability by pouring my essence into a destructible physical objectwhat did sauron mean by this
>>19742865i dont think it was his entire spice melange poured into the ringjust a few drops of the good shit, so the ring would boost his PSY attackwhile the fake rings would reduce PSY defence so he could try to take control of the userworked on the humans but not much else
>>19742789Didn't he have a talking worm in his army who cast a spell on turin turambar ? Something oddly could also talk i remember.
>>19743501You've got it backwards, he poured most of himself into the ring.I mean, think about it. The 9 were in the bag, and the 7 were doing their job too, sowing discord in the mountainhomes.The 3 were the real prize, and one of them was the bitch that started the whole mess.
>>19743535Glaurung was a dragon, just without wings, and he served Morgoth not Sauron. Glaurung would assrape Sauron any day of the weak.The only reason Turin ever killed it was because Morgoth's curse altered his fate so it would happen, so Turin could meet the worst possible end.
I once overheard a guy describe the Silmarillion as "then a giant spider knocked over some lamps and the elves got so fucking mad they all died."
>>19743535There's nothing weird about worms or dragons talking in Middle Earth, they all do.>>19742865You now realize that this is the exact thing the great evils were doing without any rings or 'containers originally', both were becoming "earthbound" by focusing on and pouring their essence into the world. It changed them and made them weaker, the ring is a sort of loophole around that.
>>19736619He was a good friend.
>>19743832Father of dragons, bitch.
>>19734111He wasn't killed during that, right? First time he died was when Eru got buttmad and gave Not-Atlantis the ol' sinkero
>>19738129Huan was a dog from Orome, Valar of hunting, and was granted special powers. He wasn't just some dog. Anyway, power levels are weird in Tolkien's world, and don't function like RPG stats. Sauron sure had a bad track record whenever get got into personal combat. No wonder he preferred staying in his comfy tower Could still solo any entity in Third Age Middle-Earth without having the Ring though. Then he got fucked over by Eru using hacks to bypass his actually perfect plan. Poor guy
>>19743832>Glaurung would assrape Sauron any day of the weak.Sauron was the greatest of Melkor's servants, so I don't know about that. Though he had supposedly become stronger by the Second Age than he had been in the First Age, so who knows
>>19742865But it's the opposite. Sauron made sure he always had power that couldn't be taken from him by any means, and it actually enhanced his power beyond what he would have without it. The Ring was destructible, but not really, because anyone still left in Middle-Earth that would care to attempt its destruction literally couldn't when they got to Mount Doom
>>19744289He's called that because he served him to the last and did the most lasting damage. It's pretty laughable to suggest Sauron could compete the likes of Ancalagon or even Glaurung except maybe in terms of guile. Remember that Morgoth had many Maiar in his service, Balrogs and so forth. Any one of them could be rivals for Sauron but Morgoth put particular care and attention into the creation of his dragons.
>>19744300I've heard it argued before that Sauron created the ring in part as a lesson against what happened to him when Numenor was sunk at the height of his power. It's literally a form of insurance, not a liability like so many retards suggest.
>>19744300>couldn't be taken from him by any meansExcept by, you know, cutting off his finger.
>>19744344>He's called that because he served him to the last and did the most lasting damageSauron only paid lip service to Melkor after he was gone. Unless you mean up until that point. >It's pretty laughable to suggest Sauron could compete the likes of Ancalagon or even Glaurung except maybe in terms of guileSure, but that is power in Tolkien's world. Don't forget Glaurung was defeated by a "mere" human>Remember that Morgoth had many Maiar in his service, Balrogs and so forth. Any one of them could be rivals for Sauron but Morgoth put particular care and attention into the creation of his dragons.Tolkien himself had stated that Sauron was the greatest of the Maiar in terms of power. But again, power is a dubious term. Sauron would defeat Gandalf the Grey in a 1v1, no question, as long as Gandalf did not possess the Ring (And even then he might because of the Ring's allegiance), but Gandalf defeats a Balrog, though at the cost of his life. Smaug was also a priority to be dealt with before Sauron's return, because he could very well heed his call and, to an extent, serve him. But again, power is a dubious term in Tolkien's world, so you may be right
>>19744350Sauron made the Ring before Numenor sank>It's literally a form of insurance, not a liability like so many retards suggest.Indeed
>>19744375But the power wasn't taken away from him. He'd always have it stored as long as it wasn't destroyed. Even at a distance the Ring gave him power. If he hadn't created it, who knows what would have happened when he "died" in his duel against Gil-galad and Elendil
>>19744449>But the power wasn't taken away from him.Then why did he seek to regain it, something that he never lost? I do agree entirely that the Ring was a solid idea as much as Sauron can have in his circumstances, which are "you are made of evil and therefore doomed to get punked" and a good way of making insurance, but I disagree that it "couldn't be taken from him" - the Ring is specifically a part of him that he separated from himself, a similar but separate entity with a will of it's own.
>>19744461>Then why did he seek to regain it, something that he never lost?Melkor lost power as he went along and poured it into the world. Sauron had found a way to keep power tied to himself for as long as the Ring existed. Like I said, even at a distance the Ring gave him strength.>I do agree entirely that the Ring was a solid idea as much as Sauron can have in his circumstances, which are "you are made of evil and therefore doomed to get punked" The fucker would've won too, if it wasn't for Eru being a cheating bastard>but I disagree that it "couldn't be taken from himYeah, couldn't wasn't the right word to use, because someone like Gandalf did have a chance of winning against him in a duel, long as he had it. Though even that wasn't certain because the Ring would be on Sauron's side throughout the fight >the Ring is specifically a part of him that he separated from himself, a similar but separate entity with a will of it's own.True, but as long as Sauron existed it would always want to return to him, and he had direct influence through it
>>19741481Real Cthulu moment right there.>massive, evil, destructive monster, it's nigh-unstoppable>bonked by boat>NOOOOO BACK TO THE LIGHTLESS REALM OF DEATH I GOOOOOO
I must admit that i've read the standalone story of turin only and i really enjoyed it. There's no way i'll ever read lotr...but i was thinking to read the silmarilion maybe...What do you guys think ? And what's the best version as in german translation ?
>>19746399Sounds retarded. Why wouldn't you read lotr? It's not hard to read.
>>19743837He's mixing three different things, but those all happen. There were lamps, but the trees were the ones the spider fucked up, and the elves got so pissed they started killing each other.
>>19743849>is that a toothpick lodged into me?>OH NO IM DYIIIING! HELP ME MELKOR AAAAA also your wife is your sister lol
>>19744441Did he make it before? I thought his physical body sank to the bottom of the ocean and the ring made him whole again
>>19749261Yes, the only reason Sauron survived the drowning of Numenor is the ring survived while his body didn't. As a disembodied spirit he toiled to return the ring to Mordor where he made himself corporeal again.
>POST LOTR CHARACTERS THAT REMIND YOU OF YOURSELFfor me, its pic rel. I have a blonde wife, talk mostly nonsense and dont care about jewelery
>>19749413Literally me minus the wife