What's on your mind, /lit/?
>>18425598https://voca.ro/1mwFs5K3glWzDo I have an original thought in my head? My bald head. Maybe if I were happier, my hair wouldn't be falling out.Life is short. I need to make the most of it. Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I'm a walking cliché.I really need to go to the doctor and have my leg checked. There's something wrong. A bump. The dentist called again. I'm way overdue. If I stop putting things off, I would be happier. All I do is sit on my fat ass. If my ass wasn't fat I would be happier. I wouldn't have to wear these shirts with the tails out all the time. Like that's fooling anyone. Fat ass.I should start jogging again. Five miles a day. Really do it this time. Maybe rock climbing. I need to turn my life around. What do I need to do? I need to fall in love. I need to have a girlfriend. I need to read more, improve myself. What if I learned Russian or something? Or took up an instrument? I could speak Chinese. I'd be the screenwriter who speaks Chinese and plays the oboe. That would be cool.I should get my hair cut short. Stop trying to fool myself and everyone else into thinking I have a full head of hair. How pathetic is that?Just be real. Confident. Isn't that what women are attracted to? Men don't have to be attractive. But that's not true. Especially these days. Almost as much pressure on men as there is on women these days.Why should I be made to feel I have to apologize for my existence? Maybe it's my brain chemistry. Maybe that's what's wrong with me. Bad chemistry. All my problems and anxiety can be reduced to a chemical imbalance or some kind of misfiring synapses. I need to get help for that.But I'll still be ugly though.Nothing's gonna change that.
>>18425598Where does the myth that Homer was blind come from?
I want to stop thinking about politics but I can't. Help.
>>18425610Read philosophy instead
>>18425609I think from the homeric hymns. One homeric hymn is written by someone who says he's blind and people assumed he's homer. I think Thucydides repeated this too and it was quite a common belief, but not really 100% dogma. Half myth half truth.
I think I'm just going to skirt by doing the absolute minimum at this job until they notice and fire me. I have no more will to do this anymore. My time is worth more than it.
>>18425598I keep thinking that what if aphantasia isn't the only thing people can be missing from their brain... sociopaths and psychopaths are missing something... autists are missing all sorts...What if there's a sort of, aphantasia for ethics and rules?
>>18425598I really hope I can someday overcome rampant hedonism. Constant internet and porn usage at the age of 12-18 really messed with my ability to moderate, though once I was made aware of the unfulfilling path I was on I’ve become better at controlling time spent on mindless pleasure-seeking activities but still spend more time on them than I should
I went on a date with a girl once,Actually we went out a few timesTo coffee shops and such.That was in the past.I often see traps on 4chan hotter than herBut still, I think we both found we weren't aloneWhen we sat together.
I want to find love so bad bros
>>18425816Start with loving yourself, other people will see it
>>18425598That good dog is trying to protect the boy from the old pedophile.
>>18425861that's what I thought LOL
When it comes to sports, no woman in the world is competitive with any highly-rated male athlete in any sport except shooting. Shooting is the only NCAA sport where men and women compete against each other.In every other sport, the all-time world records for women are on par with those for male high school athletes. That is, about half the time the high school boys will have a better record and half the time the all-time best record by a woman in the history of the world will be better.
Do any of you enjoy writing? All my life I've had adults tell me my writing is very good but I've always hated it. I've only ever written in the context of school and it's always a painful process. As soon as I could get away with it I would get high and/or drunk as hell before and during any essay.
Is it wrong to be upset that my bro is turning himself into tranny? I feel absolutely unhappy about it because he's got somewhat feeble mind no offence and I suspect a kabal of discord trannies have indoctinated him also he hates me so if I say anything he will double down.
>>18425916Sex is a social construct bigot
>>18426135what? Is that a meme?
>>18425598Zoom classes ruined an entire generation of students
I am so lazy. I spend entire days accomplishing nothing. I watch YouTube, read, walk around my neighborhood, jerk off. I'm in a graduate program but I don't like it anymore nor where it will take me. I've tried to get a job for a couple years now and each rejection and failed interview seems more final than the last. I have only a couple friends and they live far away and we rarely talk. I feel ashamed and repulsed by myself.
I know that all I will get from the internet and especially 4chan is just fucking memes, but I rationally think I should kill myself. I hate modern life, I don't want to "work" on some shitty job I hate for hours upon hours a day just to survive another day. I see no point in it and the pain of commuting through degraded urban hellscapes, do excruciatingly painful work for hours, commute back and come home too tired to make use of my "free time" is just not worth the candle. I just don't want to live like this. I do not think I am depressed, my only distress is that I cannot think of something to do with my life that is better than just killing myself.I have thought of becoming religious. I can't do it. I have tried really hard to believe, I cannot believe in God or Buddha or whatever. I do not believe in mankind anymore, so I cannot possibly believe in God. I have no reason to like other people, I do not like them. Most of the time they do or say things that make me angry and they rarely do anything that I think is good.I do not want to have kids. Not only I do not like kids but I also think that having kids today is pointless, since you cannot raise them as truly independent beings. They will have to be part of this consumer-producer culture. If I educated them to dislike petty entertainment media they would probably grow up unhappy like me and they will kill themselves like me. I see no point.I do not care about sex or relationships. I do not work well in a relationship. I need a lot of time alone. Of course I like sex but I do not want my life's purpose to hang on pleasures. For this reason I cannot find fulfillment in the idea of making lots of money and blowing it on hookers and cocaine or something like that. I do not think this is a life I would enjoy.Art is one of the few things that makes me feel alive so I have thought that I could make a living with art, but commercial art is so stripped of the things I like about art that it's no different from a torturous office job, maybe worse since I'd have to cater to dumb teenagers.I like nature but every nature-related job I could find was about destroying nature rather than preserving it. There are no spots for positions like park rangers and I have a debilitating condition that would probably forbid me from doing this kind of job.I could enjoy this kind of job and I think I would be happy doing that, maybe, since I'd be in nature. In practice I'd probably have to deal with poachers or things like that. Basically the only way I'd be happy is in some fuckoff hut in the woods but I am dependent on modern healthcare to survive because of my condition.Honestly I see no way out. Psychologists told me that I should stop thinking there is no way out but they offered me no real reason to think I have a way out. They gave me powerful drugs that were supposed to dull me into submission and make me like modern life but I am too allergic to bullshit and they did not work.I don't know what to do.
>>18426173In what sense?
>>18426173How? It was just a year and a bit, and now everything is going back to normal.
Butterfly is wearing a collar right? Like in public for me? I cannot honestly think she isn't.:3I'm guessing this is a part of her morning though, she got on here, I made her put a collar on, then she went to work. Nice.
>>18425598The reason that Tyrell Corp HQ looks like this is to resemble the religious ziggurats of the ancient near east. The religion of that time declared that man had no purpose of his own; he was created only to serve the gods (much like the replicants served humanity). The pinnacle of ancient near eastern literature is the Epic of Gilgamesh. Gilgamesh, like the replicants in the movie, sets out on his journey seeking eternal life, but, just like the replicants, he learns that it is impossible, or at least that it is not his lot.
>>18426207The Great Ziggurat of Ur for visual reference.
>>18426197She is incredibly girly. She is my bitch *slaps ass* you are my bitch butterfly :3
if I die I die with gratitude for my parent's love if I live I live as every second life is a gift, even in times of pain. I live for my parents and the deeds that will be left undone if I don't take the gift with seriousness.
>>18426181Until the next bioweapon.
>>18425598no fap day 0
Lit has been annoying me lately. So much ineffective pointless screeching back and forth. Where are all the calm people at who just like to read books and what to have nice chats about them? The hostility is starting to irk me. I'm gonna leave for awhile, goodbye.
>>18426175One step at a time, bud. You don't become superman overnight and your bad habits have had years to hardwire themselves into your life. Solving one thing at a time puts the chaos of your current existence into at least some kind of strategy. Jerk off but not to porn. Schedule a finite amount of time to watching Youtube. If you aren't content with your graduate program, stop wasting time with the devil you know. I say this as someone equally lazy who loves to get stoned and watch completely mindless bullshit for hours at a time. I am cutting back on my vices a day at a time knowing that I can't become perfect all at once. However, I've taken the steps needed like cleaning up my resume and actually applying to jobs that I know will give me a greater purpose and this motivates me to be better. It is all self-feeding, my man. Bad behavior begets bad behavior. We are in a world where self-interested hedonism is socially normalized and arguably promoted. Rise above. Improve.
>>18426268that's how I live bro
>>18426347fuck that guy I respect this way of life anon
abandon politics but vote for a random party to keep the system going. better than chaos.
>>18426177Nihilism is a real fucker, anon. It's the perpetual "Why?" to whatever answer life and those who live it can offer. To those outside of the rat race, be it in the social or professional world, the downer who forever finds flaws in their world views is destined to be unhappy. He's disconnected from the same story as everyone else and it is damn impossible to fake it.I have spent a solid decade from 14 to 24 in a suicidal state where thoughts of killing myself would plague most everyday. The only answer I have is to find something worth pursuing and go after it with our complete focus. You and I have been condemned to this existence; as profound and nonsensical and meaningless as it is. There is nothing we can do about our sentence but make the most of it. The great shame with suicide is that it is an artificial end to one's story no matter how pointless it may be. We're at a complex moment in humanity's time on this ball of dirt in the middle of nowhere. Call it what you will; cultural marxism or neoliberalism or late stage capitalism, but our world is not only completely different from that of just a century prior but of just a few decades. Nothing makes any goddamn sense anymore and the answer seems to be to deaden our senses with drink and drug and get back to burying our heads in the collective pile of sand. We are completely separated from the identity defining influences we have relied upon since the dawn of time. We no longer have fathers or mothers or wise elders or jobs to do that directly benefited our tribe. We are disconnected from all that made us human and now we are being conditioned into automatons too stoned and stupid to know why. You must become your own father and your own brother and your own wise sage. There will be a quiet culling through suicide and aimless existence where men will spend their whole lives economically sterile; working away with no point nor purpose. Maybe this is the greatest challenge you could ask for and rising above a world against you will only make you into the strongest of men. Maybe.
nothing on my mind yo
My little sister got me out of nihilism
you'll never be strong if you can't take on yourself your problemstry to solve your problem and if you can't go ahead. this morning I started to write what is really annoying me in a paper, like a diary, but when I started to write about my feelings I felt how much pathetic I was, I remembered that edgyfaggots poets that I studied at school and burnt this paper. Face up your problem, you don't need to tell them to anyone, except if you want some advices and not crying, and keep moving forward. ACT
why are capitalists so annoying and irritating
>>18426537Because of your ressentiment.
>>18426537what does "capitalist" even mean here? This guys is using his abilities to get as much cash as he could.He's annoying to you because he's bragging. This whole thing might be a lie to piss you off or he could be compensating for other insecurities/seeking attention. Idk it shouldn't bother you.
>>18426316i bet youll come back and read this comment
>>18426537There's a soulless subtext where all of one's life is spent in a state of producing wealth for the sake of wealth. There were social and cultural values in past generations where, even if the work was mindless, you still had a family and community that shared your burden. Now we're a bunch of isolated individuals expectant of obedience and reciprocated loyalty to a power that actively works to undermine and cripple. And the beauty of it is that, from the objective outlook of capital, this is all merely the reaction and action of capitalist virtue and you have no right to complain about the perpetual nightmare that is market competition. I don't know, man. Sometimes I just wish I were a monkey or a tree. Independent of all this nonsense.
>>18426611yeah that's because I wrote this comment, you are losing it nick.
I finally converted to conservatism. I guess this means I'm becoming an adult.
>>18426537this comment was on the college major thread at least give the context before trying to start a mob rant session you retard
>>18425846Not that anon but i cant love a fuck up like myself
>>18426328thanks man, I think you're right
>>18426672>I finally converted to conservatism.From what? How? What does it mean? What views do you hold and what views did you drop?
>>18426776dude I was a physical deformity and a slow guy mentally a lot of people I know would have killed themselves if they were in my shoes but for every flaw I was also able to find something in me that was good.work on your flaws and own your strengths.Now I am fit and got a russian gf and a good job
Reading the Iliad is turning me gaytfw no Achilles bf
>>18426789I used to be an accelerationist, very pro-technological-revolution, thinking everything can be solved by technology, that the internet unified us, but now I'm anti-advancement, primitivist, anti-practical, etc. because I saw the internet was good and unified people in the 90s and early 2000s, but now I see that every technology becomes corrupted over time, and now the internet is the source of great division among people, just like every technology, not advancing technology, not progressing is the logical conclusion.
>>18426455I'm not a nihilist. I think there are many things that matter and lives I would have been happy to have, but after trying to reach them and failing I cannot just say "welp, I'll just wageslave for the rest of my life I guess".I might waste more and more years on fruitless plans but I am not entitled to a life that surely other people with better means and better abilities also want. I'm not entitled to this, it's probably right that by the way I am I should just do an office job and at best get some kind of disability pension. I don't want any of that, I just don't like it.>>18426455>The only answer I have is to find something worth pursuing and go after it with our complete focus.It's what I have done for years. Just NEET and paint but I can't be relaxed just going YOLO because eventually I'd have to drop everything and kill myself. So I would try to get something done online and I'd be confronted with all the social media bullshit and pop culture stuff. I don't like any of it. I don't like social media, especially the art side of it which is straight up disgusting.I have a dozen phone numbers in my phone's contact list including my veterinarian, doctor, etc. I'm a recluse and when I try to act socially I am not myself and I do not function well when I'm around people. Maybe I am autistic or something but I feel overstimulated and I put up a fake persona to get by until I eventually snap and cut off all contact.It used to be that you could get by even if you had a character like this but knowing your way around people and having the most updated views and vocabulary is now mandatory so no matter what I do I will always have this insurmountable obstacle ahead of me.I don't care about politics, I just know I have to go around with pepper spray in my pocket because this place has been getting scarier and scarier to be in. I don't blame anyone, this is just the result of the everything is disposable mindset that ruled the world for the past century. There are few pretty things within reach but they're degrading by the day so I cannot live my life witnessing this slowly rotting corpse get eaten by worms. I don't think I can sustain if I attach myself to this. So I tried to do away with attachment but without some kind of religious framework it's hard to do this and in any case I would still have to participate to a lifestyle I hate to eat and pay bills. I cannot become some kind of ascetic like this. I also depend on civilization because of this joke disease I have so I can't go off the grid or become a nomad or something like that. I might've done a Chris Candless if not for the disease. At least I would've died somewhere nice.I've tried several things that I thought I'd enjoy and they didn't turn out right. At this point I don't know what I am supposed to live for except serving people whom I dislike and who are destroying the few things about this place that I actually liked. I feel no obligation to do this.
>>18426852>I'm anti-advancement, primitivist, anti-practicalYou sound more like a reactionary than a conservative desu.
If your readings haven't led you to fitness, you're reading the wrong literature. I'm about to go do an hour long workout in 90 degree weather. Then come back and read Greek poetry.
>>18426864I'm not sure what I'm closer to. I support a world government and democracy.
>>18426955Well, then you should be happy with the status quo.
>>18426799how did you find your strengths? i tried introspection but it was like crashing into invisible wall. All i have is anger.
>>18425598Dude do you see what I see?Are you talking the kid?I’m talking the dog.
>>18426863NEETdom is a cancer to the soul, man. It robs you of everything it is to be human. I worked for a while in a small shipping center like UPS that directly relied upon the business of very wealthy people that were too privileged to go to where the commoners shipped their male.What I found is that the massively rich, those with "old money" who have never had to work a day in their lives, were absolutely fucking miserable. Trophy wives who had married into money were drunk or high or both and were completely unhinged. In a way, these were NEETs at the other end of the spectrum; not hiding in their parent's basement but a million dollar house. They were lifeless because, even though they had beaten the game of money, they were completely vacant of the things in life that mattered. I was aimless for years with the same feeling of pointlessness as you mention. Why should I put forth any effort? Why should I contribute to a world that does not care for me? I can only say that maybe we are not completely correct about our assumptions. The less I feel like I am inherently right about my broad accusations of the world around me, the less condemned I feel about how pointless things are.Yes, shit sucks to an incredible degree. If you do not care about doing a job for the sake of money, don't do it. Find a path that brings forth some sense of purpose even if it's working at a soup kitchen or animal shelter. Your actions are themselves answers. Inaction is itself an answer. By seeing the ugly in the world above you but choosing to work towards something that may just alleviate or lessen the pain of existence is a far better answer than suicide or option paralysis. While you may not be a self-defined nihilist; the thought process of "There ultimately is no point" is pretty damn similar to the theme of nihilism. You have to flip it on its head. If there is no point and shit sucks and none of us are getting out of this alive than why not make the absolute most of this shitty ride? Autonomy is an ass pain as you are given complete freedom and complete responsibility for how life turns out. Yet it is only through that commitment do YOU take controls of YOUR life. At my darkest, I try to remember that it is up to me to decide how I react to such external forces. Do I fold or do I fight back? I believe in you, anon. I believe that you will find your way through this fucker of a film we call life. As attractive as the eternal nothing of death may be, you have the alternative of embracing this story for every second it is worth. Death comes for us all; life not so much.Oh, and maybe audiobooks? I've found the more I listen the greater mental capacity I have to respond to my problems.
Is there some kind of line in say, Symposium or something where someone says "an army of lovers cannot be beaten?" I was listening to this audiobook (or another for that class) freshman year of college, and totally thought I heard that and connected it to Gravity's Rainbow's "An army of lovers can be beaten," but I haven't been able to figure out if it was real or not since. Did I just doze off to sleep and dream the reference, anons?
>>18426955>anti-advancement, primitivist, anti-practical>I support a world government and democracyYour politics are incoherent
>>18426177>I rationally think I should kill myself. I hate modern lifeRationally thinking is modern way of life. Sort of. Ancients were superstitious bunch.>I do not believe in mankind anymoreYou better believe in mankind motherfucker, you a part of one.>so I cannot possibly believe in God.Does not follow. Your lack of belief seems to come from socially constructed pessimism, learnt reaction to culture - product of society.>I have no reason to like other people, I do not like them. Most of the time they do or say things that make me angry Angry yet? You will be.>having kids today is pointlesssee >>18426253>raise them as truly independent beings. >you cannot raise them >as truly independent beingsuh oh.>They will have to be part of this consumer-producer culture.Always would have been. Sure consuming nativity plays, Arthurian tales, public executions and milk from selectively breed dutch cow might be different than watching visual pornography from hollywood, voting in elections and eating GMO food is a bit different; but primary difference is scale. As always content you consume is of your own choosing.>If I educated them to dislike petty entertainment media they would probably grow up unhappy like me and they will kill themselves like me.You are a product of said petty entertainment. Negative product, but still the product.>I do not care about sex or relationships. I do not work well in a relationship. I need a lot of time alone. Do you or do you just think you do? Whatever, it's your choice.>Art is one of the few things that makes me feel aliveGood for you.>commercial art is so stripped of the things I like about art that it's no different from a torturous office job, maybe worse since I'd have to cater to dumb teenagers.Yeah.>I like nature but every nature-related job I could find was about destroying nature rather than preserving it. First law of nature: to live is to overcome. Not our fault that we got too good at overcoming the nature itself. >I have a debilitating conditionHappens>Basically the only way I'd be happy is in some fuckoff hut in the woods but I am dependent on modern healthcare to survive because of my condition.There is some delicious irony and decadent sadness in all of this.>Honestly I see no way out. Good. Seek way in.>They gave me powerful drugs that were supposed to dull me into submission and make me like modern life but I am too allergic to bullshit and they did not work.Most people just use alcohol and weed. Sadness and irony again. I enjoy tragicomedy of human lives.>I don't know what to do.Live or die, the way you've chosen.>>18426863>I am not entitled to a lifeNot with that attitude.> At this point I don't know what I am supposed to live for except serving people whom I dislike and who are destroying the few things about this place that I actually liked. I feel no obligation to do this.Sucks to be you Anonymous. Life is hard. Your will belongs to you.
I've not gone a day that without drinking in weeks
Marxist philosophy thread got pruned for God knows what reason. Why aren't you allowed to discuss Marxism here?
>>18427107Go get some shrooms or LSD and fix your life for fuck's sake
>>18427107Man I was fucked up for almost the entirety of the COVID shutdown from March of 2020 until January of 2021. I maintained a 4.0 GPA and graduated and I passed my certification exams to begin teaching all while stoned out of my gourd. I don't even look back on it with any animosity. I just can't do it anymore without the self-awareness that my problems will be here tomorrow morning and alcohol and weed cost too much on the wallet and body.Now I grow squash and dig a pond.
not sure I should have shown my powerlevel
>>18427045How so? A world government's purpose is to govern (enforce its laws, etc.), not in advancements, and a limited democracy can work, like what most democracies are today. By anti-practical I mean I'm against being practical as a telos. You can have a primitive society of any size, including a world government. The only way to have a non-advancing society is to have a world government in the first place.
>>18427114It's always discussed tho
>>1842615941% of trannies commit suicide bro save your brother
>>18426328>>18426788go full nofap not just noporn its way harder to engage in half vice then to abstain completely
>>18425846Total memespeak. Yeah let me just stay a girlfriendless virgin until I'm 30 and have gotten over self confidence issues that sounds good
>>18427182What exactly are your options besides self-improvement?
>>18426088How old is your brother?>>18427182Love is dead in this world. Grow acquainted with disdain, for it is sewn everywhere.
>>18425598I'm reading every book featuring Mother-Son incest starting with Oedipus Rex.
I had a dream about CVMGENIVS just last night
>>18427030>Inaction is itself an answer.But I have not been inactive, I have tried over the last decade to pursue life paths (mostly one life path) I wanted to pursue and failed. I have said this several times... I've only given up recently because I've run out of all hope that this will sustain long term. I still write and draw every day. Other options that I think I might find tolerable as a plan B are pretty much unreachable because of my condition and other issues.All this talk about fighting back translates into this: unbearable torture for 10 plus hours a day, come home, sleep, repeat. I've done this, I'd very much rather be NEET, even in the definition of it that is doing absolutely nothing. I would rather endure hours of actual, physical pain than actively work for some company's bullshit and have people around me requesting me that I put effort into it.>>18427090Thanks for the effort post but I have a habit of ignoring posts with anime pictures, sorry.
If I fail a single one of my uni exams I am ending it all.
>>18427289Cum geniusCum genioSemen genioGenio semenGenio (del) semenGenio del semen
>>18427259What was it about?VGH, EL KEVIN ORION
>>18427303El genio del esperma
>>18425598To the anon whose story was deleted by a butthurt janny: I read the story about roided Thomas the Tank Engine and I thought it was funny, vivid, and entertaining, 11/10
>>18427299That's what you said last time.
>>18427311I was at church all the way in the front, and the priest was calling names for giving prizes (who knows why), and then he called "KEVIN ORIÓN" so CVM went to the front, was wearing all black and started dancing like Michael Jackson in front of everyone
>>18427323Now that's one hell of an ode right there
>>18427388>>18427396But he was all smiley and everything. I was disappointed thay he wasn't as serious as he is here. Genio del espermatozoide
>>18427411Being serious IRL is kinda cringe tho
>>18425598I want to cum on a black woman's breasts without thinking of George Floyd. The world will never be the same.
another day without irl /lit/ friends....AAAAAAHHHHH
I'm moving in 3 days and I'm pretty scared. I'm not going to have a bed for at least 3 more days after that, I'll have to sleep on the floor. I don't have a couch either. Just my office chair. I won't have any food in the house ready to go, I'll have to walk and buy some, but that won't really serve much purpose because I also won't have ANY kitchen ware in which to cook it. I mean coffee pot, pans, pots, spatulas, knives, cutlery, cup, plates, bowls, literally everything. And I can't really get it all in one trip. Then I have to try and get internet access but they're trying to do some "self connect" system now where they just mail you a kit to hook up to the existing coax at a service-ready building (it is). But the building is locked to non-residents so they won't be able to deliver it to me. If I miss the delivery I'll have to walk to a postal drop. And I work nights so I have a chance to meet them, at least if they come early enough. But then I went to sign up before bed and it says they would call to verify after the e-purchase and I just... I need to go to sleep for work right now.I'm so anxious. I'm scared. I'm tired. I just want it to be 3 months from now when I'm all settled in and this is over finally.
>>18427593It's okay anon, you can do this. I believe in you.
I've got a little girl on the way and I'm stressing out about homeschooling her. Does anon have any book suggestions on homeschooling?
>>18427363So far I've been doing ok, but I'm serious. If I reprobate just one subject I will lose my scholarship, and I'm a poorfag, so I wouldn't be able to keep studying.
>>18427593So are you just throwing away all your furniture, kitchen wares, etc?
>>18427692Homeschooling is bad, goy.Get "The Well-Trained Mind: A Guide to Classical Education at Home".
>>18427593Just buy a blowup mattress. You'll find uses for it later and if not you can just give it away.
hope i die soon
>>18425598Hayfever season is truly upon us my fellow strugglers
When are we gonna be happy?
>>18427855based and checked
It feels like everyone I interact with likes me personally. I get along well with everyone at work, even random strangers seem to take kindly to me. Yet I am horribly socially awkward and inside my head I am in an absolute panic every time I enter any kind of social interaction. Books to remedy this situation? I thought becoming fit would make me more confident but all it did was make others perceive me as a more respectable person and therefore end up with me being subjected to more awkward social interactions than I would like. I can’t just blend in and be nobody.
>>18427114the mind of the /lit/ janny has always been an enigma
>>18427038I remember something like that too. Also the same in Plutarch's Epaminondas life, there is a mention about an army of soldiers that were all lovers
The Latin name for banana is “musa sapientum” which translates to fruit of the wise men.
Life isn't fair. Full stop. If I'd had it my way, I would have been a doctor, an English professor, a fireman, the president, a corporate retail CEO, an engineer, a Mathematics professor, etc. Instead of any of those, I'm a sad sack of shit Sales Associate for a dying mom-and-pop in the middle of bumfucking nowhere. And I'm happy, most of the time. Obviously right now I'm on edge and tired of being a failure in my own mind but it will pass. I finally experienced adult onset ennui during last year's pandemic and now I think I finally understand why so many other poor bastards have prayed for the death of the ego. And this isn't my final word on this either. Law of huge numbers says I'll do this again, I'll feel this way at another point, that there's no escaping the disk, time is a flat circle and I've done this before. It doesn't feel okay right now and it won't feel okay after I've finished typing this, at least not for a bit. My prefrontal cortex feels like its trying to claw its way out through my eye sockets. And I sound like a pathetic loser who is going to be crying about something else next week. And its true. This has meant nothing. Fuck you.
>>18428064Negroes confirmed wise kangs.
The conditionals of love
I'm trying to get through the entirety fo Platos' works.
>KatzmanThey're at it again...
>>18425598I just paid off all my student loans. It feels good knowing I don’t owe anyone else any money. I don’t plan on taking any debt soon, going to be car-less and renting for a while. I’m proud of myself.
>>18427855it'll turn aorund friend
>>18427875that's a powerful gif
>>18428064they tough tme in uni that this is because of the biblical connotation and sin and bananas being phallic. time well spent.
I wish I had a sister. The unconditional love of one woman isn't enough, I need two. At least two.
>>18426173A good portion of my class cheated (as did I as I fell behind and got really depressed). I'm taking the time to relearn everything now, because I'm fucked if I don't.
>>18426537This guy is still working. You're only a capitalist if the majority of your wealth comes from the passive appreciation of assets. Even most pro-capitalist types aren't capitalists.
Give me your favorite anime and manga. I’m only asking here because I know that, unlike /a/, some of you actually have good taste for the record.
WARNING: SCHIZO RANT INBOUNDI REPEAT, SCHIZO RANT INBOUNDThe world can be divided into three parts: the world of object - the world of emotion - and the world of thought. The world of object consists of all things indifferent to the individual which are yet physically perceptible. The study of the world of object is science. You can study the motions of planets, real physical objects, and the human being can never play a role in it - scientific fact is divorced from human influence. The world of emotion is the opposite: that is, the world of humans as individuals. The study of humanity is, naturally, the humanities. You cannot create general rules, scientific rules, statistical averages, - all related to the humanities, of course - because all of those concepts exist without an individual human in mind. Lastly, there is the world of thought. This is the study of not real physical bodies, and not of real physical human individuals, but of ideas that exist in the mind. The study of the world of idea is philosophy. This field is important, because thought is the medium by which we communicate the knowledge of the other two fields. Without setting philosophically determined criteria for how thought should happen, the other two fields cannot operate - lawlessness yields no fruit. Of course, there are boundaries between these three partitions, and the boundaries can become blurred and mixed. But... Man, I cannot even reread anything I have written. I simply cannot think. How can I revise this paragraph, or critique it in any way if I cannot even take back into my head what I've put out? That's interesting, I think. It's easier to speak and write than it is to understand. Oh... No... I thought that was an original thought. I have just remembered that Schopenhauer wrote it before me. He even came up with a neat little metaphor about gravity, if I recall correctly. It is easier to drop a weight by aid of gravity than it is to pick it back up (going against gravity and by aid of your muscles). I can give you a stream of consciousness, but I cannot understand it for you. When you get to the point where you cannot even understand your own stream of consciousness, then you know there is a problem. A serious one. God, help me.
>>18428410I just got around to watching Attack on Titan and I’m liking that a lot.
Catholics have drawn me away from Catholicism.I wanted to understand deeply and research thoroughly the tradition of Christianity, but seeing the attitude of their most fervent defendants, one of arrogance and pride, often masked in a self-proclaimed moral high ground, has made me wary of anything "Christian", knowing that, if I were to share my knowledge and opinions on the matter, I would be received with the most haughty of responses."By their fruits you will get knowledge of them", they say.
>>18428170Imagine supporting the kween just because da joo made a symbolic act against herFuck the cuin
>>18428312>I wish I had a sisterI have one. It's not that pleasant.Once she screamed at my mother because her clothes weren't ready (it had been raining for 10 days)
>>18428410My favorite anime is ping pong the animation, utterly fantastic meditation on success and competitiveness in sports as well as general purpose and life views, highly reccomend. Also just damn entertaining characters Manga I really enjoy jujutsu Kaisen, a classic shonen but done right, good timing on subverted tropes, fun characters fun fights
I look literally identical to this guyJ*w, anarchist, poet, died in Auschw*tzWhat can I do?
I avoid going out in public because I hate the way I look
Butterfly I said you may post now. I am summoning you. Are you wearing the collar? :3
>>18428811>I hate the way I lookSame>I avoid going out in publicSometimes I did thisJust today I went to a public event with dozens of people, and I challenged the speaker with my own views.And I was regretting that I did not bring a long sleeve t-shirt to cover my ugly arms
>>18428701Avoid his mistakes.
>>18428832>And I was regretting that I did not bring a long sleeve t-shirt to cover my ugly armswhat's so ugly about them?
>>18428846Ich trank meinen Morgenkaffee und ahnte nichts Böses.Es klingelte. Ich ahnte noch immer nichts Böses.Der Briefträger brachte mir ein Schreiben. Nichts Böses ahnend, öffnete ich es.Es stand nichts Böses darin.Ha! rief ich aus. Meine Ahnung hat mich nicht betrogen.I drank my morning coffee and felt no horrid premonition.The doorbell rang. I felt still no approaching evil.The postman brought me a letter. Feeling no trepidation, I opened it.There was nothing horrible therein."Ha," I cried aloud. My hunches had not deceived me.---
>>18428857I have, how do you call them in English? spots, stains, marks?I know, nobody cares, nobody looks at my fucking arms (why would they?), but I still feel shy about them :)My dad once asked me if I was shooting heroin (I never did)
I'm trying to create a writing schedule. My plan is to write a chapter at a time and draft intially by hand. Then, once the chapter is complete, type up the second draft of the completed chapter on my laptop before moving onto the next part of the novel. My question is, how much does your word count increase by going into the second draft? I'm planning to write 2k for each chapter during the first draft, but I'm not sure how long they second draft will end up being. It's only an issue because I'm trying to create a schedule along with self-imposed deadlines as not to fall behind. I'm just not sure what to expect in terms of time and word count.
I want to become a writer but theres no reason to write non fiction because the answer is already out there and autistically dissecting the details just ruins the point and adds to the sea of garbage. Fiction is alright and more fun but its also incredibly hard to write because I dont need to write the next Greek play or anything but I really dont like wasted time so I want it to be good and have an important message and thats hard when im a total novice. However the fact remains that im “good” at writing so I gotta try something since Im not going to college anyway. Might try poetry, I hated poetry for years because inner city education in the US gave me the worst possible impression of it but it may be good to learn of how to add value to my words and think of dense, intricate stories. Besides chemistry and music this is my only hobby so fuck it
>>18428945?Seems like shitty new wave
>>18428955>Seems like shitty new wave(1981) (older wave)
>>18428945Check this insteadliterally punk in 1964https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haVaaDLwWvI
I wish I had a time machine so I could go back to 2013 and post more romantic fantasies about Templar Assassin in the spectator chat in Dota 2. This one girl in the chat said I could add her so we could talk more about it but I forgot to add her, I would rectify that mistake as well.
>>18428492The way I see it however, this distinction, this parallel between the landing and his prey, this is the ultimate point for Descartes. The black bull is going ham, therefore so should you. There is no distinct realm, in that world, both the buck and his prey are one, and rossr53545 is the lucky viewer, understanding the bridge that exists between this world and the next.Unbelievably, intuitively, he makes this notion, the monism, as you speak of, is reducing to the great theists ideas of asceticism and mystical properties of numbers (53545 is a harmonic ratio between all of thee numbers). His position is completely monist, and in some ways, you can tell he is channeling Yahweh himself, not just relying on the wisdom on Descartes, and the old tribal Judaic gods are coursing through his veins, from the top of his head to the tip of his erect, Judaically circumcised penis, as he types the next phrase"Fuck this black beauty so hard that her kin folks back in African can feel that dick"With this phrase, he essentially makes one well aware of the Judaic roots of the Africans. They are the progenitors of the Earth's path, and their representatives in Egypt were here before Yahweh, and his Jewish magic. In some ways, he straddles the line though, urging the American man, on Judaic soil, plowing the African princess. He is assuring a union of the elements of the world to reformulated the earth.And you think you've fully analyze this post, however there's more to fully decode. Surely, one thinks of "African" as a typo. But nay, nay I say it is a giving phrase, something congenial and generous from one genius to another he is giving his black Master, as people who knew from the beginning how important slavery was, for their dark pre-Judaical, demiurgical understanding of his willpower. He is reaffirming the foundation of the world with a simple pun, instead of Africa, its AfriCAN
Just read book 6 of Lattimore’s Iliad, pretty intense shit. Hector’s wife telling him that he was her father and her mother as well as her husband made me chuckle. The part where he was praying over his infant son was very somber though. Is this what reading ‘great’ literature feels like? This is the first thing that I’ve read off of /lit recommending it to me.
>>18429071Another radical thing you could do is political assassination.
>>18429098>assassination.wow, that's really cool man
>>18426537This guy's bragging about his work. Capitalists are people who view Capitalism as the optimal economic system, simple as.
>>18427038>So that if we could somewise contrive to have a city or an army composed of lovers and their favorites, they could not be better citizens of their country than by thus refraining from all that is base in a mutual rivalry for honor; and such men as these, when fighting side by side, one might almost consider able to make even a little band victorious over all the world.From Phaedrus's speech, 178e-179a
>>18425598last song, I'm out @1:16https://youtu.be/B2J5PoUvri8?t=76I said, bet somethin', shoot somethin'You just talkin', I know you ain't gon' do nothin'Pussy nigga, you heard me?If you got somethin' to loseYou gon' lose somethin' unless you do somethin'So you heard me?Gotta use what you've learnedIn order to receive what you've earnedMake sure you heard meReal niggas do real thingsAnd there's a lot of real niggas in the gameI know you heard meYou say(You heard me)I say(You heard me)He say(You heard me)I know you heard meShe say(You heard me)Everybody, they don't like it when I say(You heard me, you heard me)
>>18428978You'll never know the mysteries...
>>18429278The truth is near.
>almost formed hindustan >plus tibet and good chunk of siberia>managed to break up and then vassalize ming >a century of retaking ming cores ahead>everyone around me is weak>euros didn't even blob>ottomans didn't even blob>the world is my oyster>mentally retarded and didn't manage AE well enough>dogpile coalition war >got greedy in the last round of wars also>low manpower>tfw ironmanit was going to be beautiful
>>18425916No one in 50 years will understand this post because gender will have been abolished.
there was a European dark age and i'm sick and tired of pretending there wasn't
>>18429265ok...no, I have one final messagehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Hz6bI9pcpAand hey... I love you
>>18429397>and hey... I love youand by that I mean that I love each one of you
>>18428335i should really do this, but my long distance relationship just ended. i feel like shit, sleep 12 hours a day. all i want to do is read and study, but i have no energy.
so hype to move into my own place next month. No roomies, no having my food stolen at 2am, not having to worry about bringing girls over. Fucking finally.
I'm honestly hoping Butterfly sees this, I can tell she's in the mood tonight. Just masturbate to Twin Milf, that young guy fucking those women with collars turns me on to no end. It reminds me of you butterfly :3
this brain is insufficientyou know what I mean?
>>18429563I bet u don't even know it yourself
I ate a lot today and I regret it and it makes me kinda sad because I was gonna fast today but I was so hungry
>>18425598I wish I was Forest Anon
Impressionist paints are metaphysically anti-essentialist, while pointillist paintings are psychologically anti-essentialist
>I will never hang out with surrealists around bars doing exquisite cadavers and shitWhy even live?
>>18428335Fucking same bro I’ve got two months to relearn this shit and redo my exams for my classes in august. We’re in the same boat amigo we’ve got this.
>>18429457You got this bro start with small steps and build your way up
>>18429610Enlighten me on forest anon, anon. Why do you wish to be him?
anyone wanna read my recent schizo incel ramblings? I posted it on /v/ but didn't get much in the way of interesting responses.I pretty much hijack the thread from >>>/tv/152171576 onwards
>>18429697This is a terribly negative comic :3You should not post things which will have a negative view on your perception. The philosopher Alhazen understood beauty to be something like smoothness or darkness, if the items you are viewing are completely in alignment, then it will be beautiful otherwise it will not. One blemish, just one little mar, and it ruins the entire picture. Its similar to your perception of things, morality, reality as we know it. :3
>>18429697>>18429725By the way, needless to say, Butterfly would agree. She has been visibly happier recently anyway. Your comic just creates envy and malice in others. But its not just about this, its about this mentality in general.
>>18429752eh the image isn't accurate to my feelings personally. I don't believe i'm missing out on a love others are experiencing. It's more akin to being a man dissatisfied rather than a pig satisfied. In fact there is even an element of contempt, that they would waste something I value so much so frivolously, I'm insulted rather than jealous.
>>18429769Yes I understand but please realize that love will happen if you wait for it. Go out and do things in this life and you may find love if you try it. You can even find love in places very close to you.
I'm starting to think that the cause of all my woes is post-industrial society
>>18429801i'm 26 and spend all my time wageslaving and can't relate to common people. If I didn't talk to anyone in all of university it's not gonna happen now
https://voca.ro/1ns7yHtOOmxzidk either, I'm just trying to be real, it's not as tragic as you think it is. I mean, shit could be worse. I think the message I want to convey is; you can do what you want, you are not forced to do anything. so just try to have a good time.
>>18425598i wish i would stop pulling the hairs out my mustache, i have this long beard but the hair on my upper lip is practically nonexistent im starting to look amish or hardline muslim
I have come to realize that I might just be the happiest man alive, despite never trying to be happy.
>>18427832I never had any, it was all my (ex-)girlfriend's>>18427845I would but I'm already out at least $5k this month and I'm kind of uneasy about the flexibility of my personal economy right now
I solved the world's greatest mysteries.The existence of God. The rationality behind the Grand Design. The purpose of humanity. The problem of evil.I achieved a state of nirvana (most of the time)What is left for me here?Moving onto the kingdom of heaven.Good luck heathens.
Butterfly, forget that other guy. He doesn't get you like I get you.
>>18425626I’m in the same boat, do you have another one lined up?
>>18425631You can change for the better anon
I'm at the part of nofap where I feel like I've had 3 cups of coffee and my balls hurt. This usually begins toward the end of week 1 and I never make it to the end of week 2. What feels worse, ball pain, irritability, and taking away one of the few vices I have? Or the self hated for being a degenerate after cooming?
>>18429838>https://voca.ro/1ns7yHtOOmxzalles klar, bruder?
>>18430257imagine if there was a religion that made people feel guilty for taking a shit. i'm surprised none of those wacky pomo 70s authors did it.
Just a few moments ago there was a tanned short-haired tomboy with athletic shorts sitting right next to me in a coffee shop. Probably a high schooler. As she was waiting for her coffee and looking at her phone she was fondling her legs for some reason almost like some tease. Did the internet ruin me?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY BALLS
What genre are the Paper Mario games? If you were to novelize it, it would be children's fiction. But what genre would it be? Just fantasy comedy? It seems so unique and it's tone, atmosphere, and aesthetics are like nothing other than itself.
Do you guys remember that DFW story about the girl who was so afraid her boyfriend would break up with her, that he finally got sick of it and broke up with her? That story always stuck with me. And shockingly, that exact thing is happening to me right now. Her self esteem is so low that she thinks I'm cheating on her, and when I told her I wanted to learn a new language, she got really upset and took that as a sign that I would move onto another language, and find a girl to practice with who I liked more than her and ditch her for the new girl. The whole thing feels really fucked up, man. I honestly like her, she's really generous and we get along well, but this part of her is impossible to deal with, it can't be reasoned with. And tonight I asked her, "No matter what, please don't delete your discord even if we split because I want to remember you", but she said it would just be bad memories and that she'd delete it. It's just really damn sad, man. We're just going to pretend all of that never happened? And not even contact each other again? 3 months of being like a couple, turned to dust. I like her, but that part of her is impossible to deal with. I told her firmly to go to therapy, but beyond that it's out of my control.We just finished talking. 7 hours from now, when we talk again, I'm going to decide whether to keep talking with her or cut it off tomorrow. I dread it. /lit/izens, do any of you guys have some input on the matter? I hate that it turned out this way.
>>18430157what is the purpose of humanity
>>18430257woah.. you mean it hurts not to indulge in a hardwired biological need? next you'll tell me sleeping 8 hours and eating food that tastes good is degenerate
>>18430611>next you'll tell me sleeping 8 hours and eating food that tastes good is degeneratewho the fuck sleeps 8 hours a day that's too much bro
>>18430157wait til you realize that nirvana is just another delusion just like being high on shrooms, and that you never really left square 1. gonna be hard to accept >>18430621we don't understand it well yet, but most people ages 16 to 50 need around 7 to 9 hrs of sleep a day. how much do you get?
>>18430626>we don't understand it well yet, but most people ages 16 to 50 need around 7 to 9 hrs of sleep a day. how much do you get?generally i sleep around 6 hours a day i don't feel tired or need to sleep more. 7 when i'm very exhausted but never more than 7. often i sleep around 4 hours when i have certain things in my schedule, not every day though, and i do meditation every day which might influence my energy levels. 9 hours of sleep, holy shit i can't imagine. i don't want to miss out on life.
Pseuds are pathetic little creatures, worthy of only derision and contempt.
>>18430453girlfriend troubles well that's really relatable hahah, imagine never having kissed a girl in your twenties like wtf?? your mistake is trying to reason with a woman, maybe she was abandoned throughout her life leading her to expect it and since expecting it she pushes people away before they can hurt her, self-fulfilling prophecy
>>18430666pseud post :)
when people use "cum" as a synonym to "and" LMFAO (example : "artistic cum symbolic") i can't take it seriously
>>18430659you sound like one of the lucky ones. I'd kill to be able to be productive on just 4 hours. It's still inconclusive but it has been reported that meditation decreases your amount of sleep time needed. However I meditate and I'm still a fucking mess unless I sleep at least 7~ hours. Fuck
>>18430666Agreed. I hate pseuds.
how to cope with the fact that we live in hopeless times where the creative dream cannot be accomplished and everything is set up specifically to make authenticity impossible and the probabilities of me fulfilling my creative vision is literally nonexistent but if i don't do it i'll die, i'll literally lose the only meaning i am deliberately giving to my life
>>18430843*are literally nonexistent
>>18430852i am in a relationship and have lots of fulfilling sex all the time
>>18430855Yeah, sure, anon. Whatever you say.
>>18430857what? you think people suddenly don't experience insecurity and existential dread if they have sex? weird line of thought
Is it bad to use a lot of semicolons in your prose? I used to use a lot of comma splices in my prose due to my shitty schools that didn't correct us for it, so now that I know the sin of that, I've switched to using semicolons in place of those commas...but there's so many in my prose. Usually 7-10 per a page minimum; which is apparently a writing sin to most of the writing community. Must I stop? I don't like using periods unless it's to end a complete thought; the fullstop of it really fucks with the flow I have going on in my head; which is why I vastly prefer abusing commas (or semicolons now in this case)
>>18426177>>18426863>>18427281Wow, these words have deeply touched me anon. I feel like you're defining me.I don't want you to read some feel good bullshit nor do I think that one book could change someone. But reading pessimistic authors like Cioran, Thomas Bernhard, Beckett, Pessoa, Schopenhauer etc. has always make me feel less lonely. You should checkout them out especially Cioran.
>>18429034Welcome to the club amigo
how do i write something completely insane
Do you anons believe companies like Amazon, Google, Microsoft, Apple or even Nvidia can still go under and be deposed? Every time someone says "X is too big to fail", someone will reply "That's what they said about Y, and it still did".I think it's a good enough argument and I would've bought it a few years ago, but I'm not sure anymore. Even if there's a gigantic shift in technology and the products we need become completely different, these few companies will still be the first ones to deliver. They're lightyears ahead in the tech know-how and can swallow up smaller innovators by buying them out and acquiring patents and the like. Never mind the fact that at this point a multitude of banks, mutual funds and family offices are loaded up on their stock and options, and letting these big boys bite the dust would mean a world of pain for them. They'd have the US government bail them out a hundred times over before allowing them to fail.That's just my thoughs though, let me know what you niggas think
Symbolism: artist creates to heal othersExpressionism: artist creates to heal himselfThat's about it right?
>>18431586on alcohol, easy, next question
I want my death to be sublime and to occur during the prime of my youth. Anyone else feel this way?
>>18431604nope. PARDON!? u know twitter? yep.
>>18431601porque no los dos?
>>18431601Or better yet, symbolists believed they had the cure and expressionists accepted their need for treatment
>>18431608I didn't ask, freak.
>>18431595learn history. time destroys everything. absolutely everything
>>18431613burrito, I'm hungry
>>18430982Just use periods you sperg, having so many semi-colons will be way more disruptive of the "flow" to anyone reading it than a period ever could be
jews in techno boats with babes and negroesBolshevik revolution pornI'M GONNA REVOOOOOOOOOLT> the 50 year old REVOOLTER
>>18431622how rude ;D call the judge and get some fudge
>>18430843What is your "creative dream?" To me it seems you are making excuses to not work on this project
>>18431602>on alcoholIt's called drunk. And being drunk isn't that crazy
Work is so miserable. I fit in nowhere. I can barely stand it. This life is crushingly disappointing and the older I get, with no wife, no kids, no real responsibility to grit my teeth and bear it for anyone, the more I feel like, this life just isn’t worth it.
>>18431651It isn't crazy if don't have some kind of mental problems or some kind of sickness, yeah, maybe then it's not crazy
>>18431662posts like this reads like it's always the same guy who's writing them. they don't have any originality or something that differentiate them from that type of post which is posted every 30 minutes lol, I cat take it, it fucks with my brain and it shouldn't. It's like I'm in a mental hospital or something. can some relate?
and if you can't relate, well, there it is. that's why you're never gonna be a good writer
I have a date tomorrow but I've done nothing but physical training and read Goethe for 12 months and now I'm kinda socially retarded. Wish me luck
>>18431785good luck muscleman, I know you're strong
>>18431822I train for dancing so I'm quite weak outside of calisthenics. Just like Goethe told me to.
>>18431834u did it because of Goethe?
>>18431839Goethe visited me in a dream and told me to fulfil my destiny by learning ballet
>>18431845that's crazy man, the only thing I know about ballet is the movie black swan but I don't remember anymore but I can imagine that it's not that easy
>>18431685No. No one can relate. You are most likely a college student who can’t relate to the post and as such others are “others” who can’t relate to you.
>>18431899why other no relate? u say not relate but I can do it. yeah ok, the others are the others but they read too ay? u say I'm not relate but your not relate. but sometimes they do...
>>18431845are you actually learning ballet on a serious level? if so, that's fucking based. i love ballet, it's a phenomenal form of art with such a badass history. keep it up man.
can't stop mourning the passing of time...
got a chat going with this chick I think I sort of like but I can't really think of anything to say. I think it's gonna fizzle out for this reason, which feels odd. maybe this is what not liking a chick is like I can't tell
>>18430157do you still find you have to spend time on earth and if so what will you do with the time?
>>18425598https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyM68DCq9hEtranslation: EVERY TIME I COME ON THIS FUCKING THREAD I ALWAYS READ THE SAME COMPLAINTS, YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO LEARN ABOUT IT! MERDE!!!CRETIN, CRETIN!THEN DO YOUR SHIT YOURSELF, I JUST TRIED TO HELP. AND YOU GIVE ME THIS ATITUDE. CRETIN!IDIOTE, ANALPHABETE, MONGOLOIDE!
I'm 20 years old yet i feel like i will be a KHV my whole life. I understand that I'm young and still have time for relationships and romance but the fact that I had no girlfriends, no intimacy with a girl by now is really self defeating, i feel like a loser when people my age worse than me strike cuties. I still don't know what I'm doing wrong.Being a virgin doesn't bother me that much what i want are hugs, to see a girl's face lit up as she lays on my chest.
Recently I started reading the biographies of some writers I really admire; It's such a weird, comfy feeling, getting know know them as people, and also reading about the time and environment they grew up in. I started to really relate to them and respect them more as writers, and I even find myself thinking 'Man it would have been so cool to be friends with them.' Anybody else feel this way?
>>18426996not him but learn to forgive yourself. like Kierkegaard said "do or do not - you will regret it", it is all in the past now and the hounds in your mind are no longer your enemies. at the bottom of the world you can only go upwards
>>18432307Yeah man. I find reading their diaries and letters is even better IMO. Especially if they're from a period in which they're writing a book you've read. Really shows the craft that goes into it. Fuck it's sad that we don't write letters anymore. My friend just wrote me a letter but she's in the loonybin.
>>18432313>at the bottom of the world you can only go upwardsI like that
>>18426316theres been an outbreak of children on /lit/ and i have no idea how or why did they come here. the fact that i see wojak edits here confirms we are in a deep shitter now. i dont think its going to be fixed in a long while.
>>18432338Get off this website old man and suck some dick in a porno theatre
>>18428811to fight this, i usually go with embarrassing tshirts with video game or music band logos and such. you get used to not caring what others think. it really helped me a lot
>>18432307biographies make me sad. when i read about their heartbreaks or the troubles that they go through my own heart starts hurting terribly for them especially because their life is over now and there is no way to rewrite the story and i know how it ends. well, this is a biased opinion because i'm reading a biography right now just as we speak and i empathize with the subject so much that it's making me feel awful. i wish i could go back in time and you know, have a talk with that person.>>18432323this... i was thinking about this a lot today, it's funny that you say this. reading their letters makes me want to write the same sort of insightful and detailed letters to the people in my life.
>>18429610you can always start
>>18427114It was not part of their gender,It came to them in heatWith hard cocks to make tenderWhen the Jannie began to delete.They were not easily pleased,They were bitchy -- willing to beatTill every post should be squeezed,Ere the Jannie began to delete.Their voices were manly and low.Their eyes 'neath brow meat.There was neither sign nor showWhen the Jannie began to delete.It was not preached to the surgeon.It was not taught by the tweet.No man called them a virginWhen the Jannie began to delete.It was not biologically bred.It will not care for feet.Through the dead board ahead,When they shall cut off their meatThat the Jannie began to delete.
>>18430453theres a similiar story from a russian author i forgot the name. a soldier sneezed accidentally on a general and apologized. fearing that his answer was not sufficient he kept apologizing again and again. at least he called him at the dead of night to apologize, the general was now mad and said he will have him arrested. soldier out of shame drops dead on the spot.
>>18432292You have to realize that relationships involve 2 people. Intimacy/getting a gf is not something that will suddenly happen to you one day. You have to provide something of equal value to what you're asking for, I know this is cliche but I'm sure the 4chan robot types don't internalize this. Also, you're still very young.
>>18432313its hard to see any hope, especially when every single major decision ended up in disaster.
>>18432420James Joyce: A New Biography by Bowker (I couldn't find an e-book of Ellman's Joyce biography but I really want to read that one) and Faulkner: A Biography by Blotner
I feel increasingly completely detached from reality. There is little to moor me to the ground. I did way too much coke and now the splinters have turned into cracks.
>>18432416Yes i know, you can't go into relationships expecting it to fix you. But I still don't understand how can those who barely try, get into one so smoothly. I can't even express myself how I want, I feel like a loser even discussing this, sorry.
>>18432444Turin Turambar made every worst choice possible yet he slayed the dragon.You will lose battles but you will also win the war
>>18427970You’re thinking of the Sacred Band of The bes
>>18425950So here’s the thing. I love writing, I can’t not do it, and I’m good at it. The problem is that I can’t write fiction, and I really want to. I frequently write letters to friends (keeping the art alive) and I write essays for myself; reflections for myself or just to write down memories so I don’t forget them. Not for publishing. And when I do this I have no problem writing. It just flows.But when I sit to write fiction is a straight up battle. One page takes hours, and rarely do I go back and read it and like what I have written.I know it’s a problem I can overcome, but it is frustrating.
>>18432494You don't really have the full picture of what's going on in the lives of those people. Take a look at yourself try to find where you need to work on yourself and look at how you deal with social situations and do something about it. You'll be surprised with the results.
My mental illness has corrupted me, even writing this is hard, screaming at me not to do it or it will scare me again, please someone, hear me out.
>>18432667Stop worrying Anon, you can do it if you want.
If you wanna grow flowers, plant the seeds directly into the soil, its better than first growing them in pots and then stransfering them
>>18432703I'll write it even if it's painful.As a child I struggled with logic, or more had it warped thanks to an over religious abusive mother, conflicting beliefs were pushed on me all the time, lots of people did this, one giant cognitive dissonance, not only that but I was made to be extremely reactive to this, I fear my thoughts because not all of them are mine. By the time I was 9 or 10 (I can't really remember some periods of my childhood that well) I developed the monster, OCD, pure ocd strictly in thought, it took me years to kill it, how? I abandoned all illogical beliefs, religion, this may sound fedora to you but no, wait, I have very illogical beliefs no matter the dressing, they are the same fear and obsession, the same intangible worry, sin never left my system, replaced by other obsessive fears, insecurities, anything that I come to know about will be warped by it, reskinned code.Yet this story goes on, what happened? I found yet another belief system to latch onto, occultism.Soon all thoughts are to be worried about, the OCD variant called magical thinking, the belief that thinking about things makes them real got even stronger, this compulsion completely dominates my life, maybe if you don't do certain things right now bad things will happen, and believe me, the fears are vivid and quite adept at shocking me. I thought I had it, I developed a system to act on the first logical impulse I get and stick to it but today it came back, using fears that are very effective, ideas that I don't want to entertain, telling me the more I think, the more it spams in my mind, maybe it will come true, it's my job to deny them, all the time.This back and forth, this miserable back and forth has been going without rest for 4 years now. Every single day.
Recently I brought an e-reader and one problem I've run into is the quality of e-books you get from sites like libgen; sometimes the formatting is messed up or there are typos or weird characters inserted into the book; most of the time it doesn't make the book unreadable but it's annoying. One thing I can do with Calibre is edit the ebooks I have, so I can go in and fix the text. I'd like to help other anons out by making the corrected ebooks available but how could I do that?
i don't think anyone really showed me love growing up. they weren't particularly cruel, I was just left alone. I suspect this is why I have such a hard time empathizing and showing love.
>>18432750Just know this: you can't think your way out of it because the mind is smart and keeps making up bullshit since it's deluded that making a huge problem out of your life will help it survive.This isn't actually the real you it's just something animalistic and primitive.Recognize that it's the same old thoughts by the same old Sparky and be done with it. You'll even laugh about it and the whole silly theatre the mind was making.You are free.
>>18432338lol wojakposters are like 27 now
>>18428811I find it matters how you look. I think mabe I get fashion (not that I partake). what I'm saying is: you can choose what you want to radiate. You can basically dress like a chad and that's what people are gonna see, or dress like something else.. you can pick a role in the game of life and play it, and it doesn't have to be the defeatist role
>>18425598When I'm on the verge of getting into a serious relationship with a girl I back out because the inevitable responsibilities of the relationship daunt me. If I was to enter a relationship with the last girl I would have to enter the relationship in good faith. I'd have to get involved with her and enjoy each other's company which is great. Now the social obligations begin. I'd have to meet her friends and her with mine. Meet her family, go to family dinners and at this point backing out of the relationship without good reason would be a serious waste of time and betrayal of trust. I don't think I'd be able to marry her. Writing it all out it actually doesn't seem like a huge obligation. Maybe I'm just incredibly selfish.
I'm seriously considering killing myself, and it seems like the best option I can take. Only thing I fear is that my family will suffer. 0
>>18432848I know what you're saying it's the truth, and thanks for your reply, thanks for taking note but I just can't allow myself to get past my "spiritual" beliefs, it's this very same thing the one that allows the fear to take place.
>>18425598How can one know if one is a homosexual? I never was attracted to boys throughout primary or secondary school but did have stuff going on with girls. Never fell for a man at first sight but have with women. I don't want a dick in my ass either. But I worry... disconcerted because in certain moments with my best friend or my proteges I feel a moment of tenderness. I think it's brotherly love because nothing about them physically attracts and I don't want to kiss them either. Im deeply afraid but I think this may be a pure form of love for my brothers.
>>18432889hold on anon. it may take a long time but one day you will be happy you did. there's a lot of living yet to be done.
>>18432889Read the pensees and the brothers Karamazov. Ending of tbk alone with afflict with you with sufficient glee that you see the joy in life once again. Only thing I'd ask of you is to not approach either books with conceit.
>>18432891not that anon. I get that it may not seem very attractive given what you said about your upbringing, but one basic idea with monotheism is that every possibility is created by the one God. what this means is that you are never really holding yourself up, since every possible strategy you can employ, any power you can attempt to call on, was already created by God. There is nowhere to turn where you will not be met by His face. One thing about this then is that it can help one relax ones grip on ones life. It belongs to God, and He tends to it so you don't have to worry so about it. Maybe you are right and He has allowed you to make a deal with some devils, and He lets you believe these devils serve you.. but doesn't it seem rather that you are under their control?
>>18432891You have to realize sooner or later that at your very core you aren't bound by any concept or belief, the Spirit can never be chained, Anon.You can try something like this: if you fear these thoughts are gonna hurt yourself or (and this is a big one if you're into guilt) a dear one just say SO WHAT?If you die so what? If someone you love dies so what? Death isn't real anyway and I know that if you're into occultism you'll agree with me.
>>18432868>I'd have to meet her friends and her with mineno you dont. maybe meet them once but youre not obliged to hang out with them. hell, you should be focusing on your girl more than your friends by then
>>18432898youre not gay anon, you just love your friends. the internet warped your mind
fuck the internet
>>18425598https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mFxnekyjd4BAU DIE GEWICHTE AUF! 60 LINKS UND RECHTS, ES WIRD GEPUMPT JETZT / KAUM ZU GLAUBEN WIE VIEL ZEIT MIR DIESER SCHEISS NIMMT, DENN WENN ICH HEISS BIN, HÖR ICH NICHT AUF BEVOR DER GANZE RAUM NACH SCHWEISS STINKT/ ICH BRAUCH KEIN' FAKE TRAINER, SCHEISS AUF SO WEIGHT GAINER, FÜR MICH SIND SÄTZE UND DIE KILOS AM GERÄT THEMA/ NUR DASS WIR UNS VERSTEHN, ICH WIEG JETZT 110, KOMM ZU MIR DU WIRST EIN WUNDER SEHN/ ICH KOMM MIT FETT PAKET, SO ALS WÄR UNITED PARCEL DA, KEINER GLAUBT MIR DASS ICH FRÜHER MAL EIN SPARGEL WAR/ ICH BIN SPIELEND AM KÄMPFEN, MIT DEN SCHWIELEN AN HÄNDEN/ JEDEN ZWEITEN TAG DER ALTE FIGHT, ICH WERD GEWALTBEREIT, SELBST MEINE MUTTER SAGT MIR: „HALT! ES REICHT!"/ DAS IST KEIN WETTBEWERB UND TROTZDEM WIRD ICH FETT GEEHRT, SEIT ICH BREIT BIN HAT SICH STREIT VERMINDERT, SEX GEMEHRT!
>>18433108BUILD THE WEIGHTS! 60 LEFT AND RIGHT, IT'S BEING PUMPED NOW / I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH TIME THIS SHIT TAKES ME BECAUSE IF I'M HOT, I DON'T STOP BEFORE THE WHOLE ROOM STINKS OF SWEAT / I DON'T NEED A 'FAKE TRAINER SO WHITE, SHIT GAINER, FOR ME ARE SENTENCES AND THE KILOS ON THE DEVICE / JUST THAT WE UNDERSTAND, I WEIGHT NOW 110, COMING TO ME YOU WILL LOOK FOR A MIRACLE / I COME WITH A FAT PACKAGE, AS IF UNITED PARCEL WAS HERE, NO ONE BELIEVES ME I BEFORE ASPARAGUS / I AM PLAYING AND FIGHTING WITH THE CALLS ON HANDS / THE OLD FIGHT EVERY SECOND DAY, I BECOME VIOLENT, EVEN MY MOTHER TELLS ME: “STOP! IT'S ENOUGH! "/ THIS IS NOT A COMPETITION AND IN SPITE OF THIS, I AM HONORED BOLD, SINCE I AM WIDELY, THE DISPUTE REDUCED, SEX INCREASED!
>>18430453The fear of losing you is part of the excitement of a relationship for her. Play with it, instead of against it, she'll eventually realize it's a game, and then, most likely, she'll dump you.
>>18433158...but she'll probably come out the better for it, rather than repeat the pattern in the next relationship. So it's a matter of how much you care and how much time you wish to sacrifice to her development, I suppose.
>>18425630We're all missing something, though those that are missing those particular aspects tend not to get very far. Not that you can't use them to your advantage, but that requires understanding them.
>>18432790Check with >>>/g/. I'd say dropbox or something, but I don't know the ins and outs if e-readers.
>>18431595Half those companies didn't exist twenty years ago. Microsoft in particular has gotten so incompetent they can't even make a functional Internet browser anymore, and haven't made a new OS kernel since 1998.They probably won't go under in your lifetime, but eventually, big sharks get eaten, making for even bigger sharks. The US itself is riding on a global agreement made of a house of cards, many of which are trying to slowly lower the old man from his throne without crushing everyone, and there's even internal efforts just to plain old knock out the pillars, supported by people who fear the world the nation has created and have forgotten why it did so.
>>18432790B.oocc or whatever it is called is whatever