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prev:>>17237149

Any progress on your novels?

For Prose:
>The Art of Fiction
>On Becoming A Novelist
>Writing Fiction: A Guide to Narrative Craft
>How Fiction Works
>The Rhetoric of Fiction
>Steering the Craft

For Poetry:
>The Poetry Home Repair Manual
>Western Wind: An Introduction to Poetry

Related Material:
>What Editors Do
>A Student's Introduction to English Grammar
>Garner's Modern English Usage

Suggested books on storytelling:
>The Weekend Novelist
>Aristotle's Poetics
>Hero With a Thousand Faces
>Romance the Beat

Suggested books on getting your fucking work done you lazy piece of shit:
>Deep Work
>Atomic Habits

Traditional publishing
> Formatting manuscript
https://blog.reedsy.com/manuscript-format/
> Write a query
https://www.janefriedman.com/query-letters/
> Track your query
https://querytracker.net/


Other Resources
>General grammar/syntax/editing help
https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/purdue_owl.html
> When/where/how should I write?
https://jamesclear.com/daily-routines-writers
> What software should I write with?
https://self-publishingschool.com/book-writing-software-best/
> Amazon Publishing to make that KDP monie
https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/help/topic/G200635650
> Be like Charles Dickens and write serially
https://www.royalroad.com/
> Basic overview of the Screenplay format
https://screenwriting.info/
>>
Is Royal Road even worth considering? I just took a look at what's written there and I'm just disheartened by it.
>>
Churned out over 3k words on a chapter distraction-free after a few days of not writing. Feel's good.

>>17262831
That depends on your contextr of what it means to be worth considering. What do you intend to use it for? Feedback? Money? A palce to put out stuff rotting on your harddrive? What drives you to write, anon?
>>
>>17262831
>No bestiality
I was considering RR until I found that out. Are there any similar sites that actually allow everything?
>>
>>17262653
i hate these OP images so much. i refuse to post my writing in these threads since the OP pics are so fucking cringe.
>>
>>17262653
Post more big booba vtubers
>>
>>17262653
Thanks for posting these
>>
Please for the love of God stop making the OP images Anime. You're just looking for trouble now sonny. FUCK I HATE YOU SO MUCH YOU EVEN POSTED EARLIER JUST SO THAT YOU COULD PUT YOUR SHITTY FETISH PICTURE
>>
>>17264026
You're on 4channel, baby.
>>
>>17264026
At least it's not little school girls this time ffs
>>
https://www.reddit.com/r/fantasywriters/comments/kvmjyc/the_common_tongue_magazine_is_now_calling_for/

3c/word not bad for trashy blood death raaarh fantasy eh
>>
IF I FIND WHO IS MAKING THESE ANIMU /WG/ THREADS I'M GOING TO GIVE THEM THE ROPE
>>
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>try to get friends/family/gf to beta read
>they rave about how good it is then stop reading half way
>"Follow ur dreams bro :^)"

How do you guys get beta readers? The only person who actually bothers to read my stuff and gives detailed criticism is a former co-worker who also likes to write. Honestly, he's more precious to me now than most 'friends' even though we don't hang out in person.
>>
>>17264315
I have a friend who I've been friends with for 15+ years who also likes to write, we critique each other.
>>
>>17264315
I played a psychological trick on my family. Family's always want to encourage you to follow your dreams and whatnot because they see that you're really struggling to write and want you to feel like your work hasn't gone to waste.
So I started to act like an arrogant prick around my family. I tell them that I'm the best writer ever and there's no way I can fail. All these so called "professional" writers don't know shit and I'm gonna show them what-for when I'm rich and famous.
They switched their tone real quick man. Now they're saying I should temper my expectations and my dad, who thinks about things in a very mechanical way, is very thorough about picking my stories apart.
They don't invite me to dinner anymore but at least they give good advice now.
>>
>>17264295
People bitch and whine yet they obediently migrate to the new thread every time anyway
>>
>>17264361
F Gardner does the same thing but no one shills or talks deeply about his Call of the X novels
>>
>>17264315
My girlfriend hates Jeremy Bentham's legislative, economic writing. :(

It is kind of boring :3
>>
>>17264361
I was considering being an arrogant prick about it, but in a completely different way.

>refuse to help sister with transcribing her documentaries
>keep obnoxiously asking them when they will finish reading it

But seriously, it's not like painting a picture or playing an instrument where you can immediately show off all your work and have someone take it all in without a huge time invest on their part. Still can't help but feel bitter about it though.
>>
>>17264414
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6y4fgg5NqI
>>
>>17264391
shut up gardner
>>
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Something I put to words last night in a drunken stupor.
I can never trust my gf to be truthful when she tells me things I do are good or interesting, it's almost like she has to say it.
>>
>>17264535
you should try reading outloud what you wrote. It's fine, but some of the sentence structure and comma placement is a bit awkward
>>
>>17264026
Based
>>
>>17264535
*handful of
>>
>>17262901
>feel's

delete those 3k words
>>
It's kind of weird. I make just enough from writing lewd commissions that I can not have a soul crushing day job. I have enough to pay rent and food, but basically nothing else. I write 2k of commissions 5 days a week.

I've also got stories I'm releasing online (non-lewds), but they're not really gaining traction.

I really want to make an independent feature film on a miniscule budget, but there's no way I can spare any cash for it, and nobody is going to invest in it. Maybe I could crowdfund but that's a long shot.

I dunno. I have enough writing ability for lewds to pay the bills. And I have enough writing ability for non-lewds for it to be considered decent from the feedback I've received. If I could just use my writing skills to get the script I finished made, I would be very happy.

/blog.
>>
>>17264680
Take heed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIQxm7bNOWc
>>
>>17264722
thanks fren
>>
Are there any related terms( can be very slang or not)..describing a ‘jaded towards love’ person/ice queen type character? but less negative?
For example, the character is not mean and horrible to people. but they have a “i won’t fall in love or display a lot of affection” attitude.
Somehow the only words coming to my head is ‘tsundere’ and ‘ice queen’ . which the first one sounds stupid and the last one’s too negative for what I’m trying to convey
>>
>>17264665
Thanks, didn't spot that.
>>17264658
Thankyou. I didn't actually think to do that, that's a big help.
>>
>>17264792
kuudere?
>>
>>17264812
Actually yes kuudere is quite a good word for it!
Is there a comparable one in english?
(I Don’t think i can pull off writing in english and throwing japanese terms) But this helps! I might be able to find something similar
>>
>>17264829
>(I Don’t think i can pull off writing in english and throwing japanese terms
Why not? English is filled with loan words from other languages. Hell, every living language is.
>>
>>17264856
That is true but i don’t want to my audience to have confusion on what is a kuudere since even I had to look that up.
I am writing for song lyrics. It would also make my singer seem like an otaku and distract from the overall message of the lyrics i think
>>
What do you have in the background while writing if anything at all?
>>
>>17264881
why that would be this thread, of course
>>
>>17264881
People talking. Just any ol' podcast or youtube video will do.
>>
>>17264881
ASMR. Really helps me concentrate on my writing.

https://youtu.be/w1H1ar_f25w
>>
>>17264026
The quality and frequency of posts has dropped a bit since the same dude startin creatin the new threada with manga/anime images. It weeds out the wrong people but fuck op if he can’t be respectful of people’s requests and fuck the rest of the whiners since no one is decent enough to create threads themselves. I tried once but op self bumped his thread until it got priority. I’m out.
>>
>>17265033
he makes threads when the original thread reaches 280 posts, way too early, just so his anime thread will be the next /wg/
>>
>>17264535
The tense change confused me.

Otherwise, it's functional. It's not some pseud shit that is trying to ape something written a hundred years ago like most of the shit posted ITT. Fix the tense problem and it'll look publishable almost.
>>
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First time coming to /lit/ broskis. I like to creatively write from time to time when I'm not too busy, but I tend to always overanalyze my work till I pick it apart into nothingness. Is it possible someone could give me some pointers with this excerpt? It's my first attempt at a first-person story, so I appreciate any feedback given.
>>
>>17265033
I love how people are so upset over the OP image that I never look at
I don't think I've ever even read the OP post, I just ctrl+f writing general and go in
>>
>>17265573
It’s only two posters. Don’t even know what’s the deal. Literally just scroll down and that’s it.
>>
>>17265538
first person is incel just gonna start off with that.

I'm not sure why you are explaining the scene and what happened before this excerpt, how was it not described before?

>muscely
kinda cringe, muscular.

>if this were a...
nearly always cringe to do this kind of thing, same as when characters are like "if this was a movie then we would win, but this isn't a fairytale"

>putting in work
cringe

I would just say knives instead of shivs, especially because he doesn't seem to a weapons expert.

overall this just seems cringe and reddity
>>
>>17265033
The reality is people on /lit/ are readers and not writers.
cope harder.
>>
>>17265674
It wasn't described before because this is the first few paragraphs of a "prologue". I was attempting an in media res just to give it a shot. As for the cringe shit, well that's on purpose. The MC is supposed to be cringe inducing as he lacks self-awareness. Of course though, the rest of your feedback is valid.

>muscular
I feel dumb for forgetting that was a word, especially considering muscley is practically the same word. Thanks.
>>
>>17265538
>handsome knight
lmao what are you gay
if he is then using language like that to describe another man is not a bad way to ease readers into later scenes where he's sucking cocks left and right.
>stereotypical bandits
you do this a lot where you're being overdescriptive. If they looked like bandits than just say that they looked like bandits. Most people have an idea of what a bandit looks like, especially the stereotypical kind, so you should trust your reader to have a similar image in their mind to the one that you had when you wrote it.
You could apply the same logic to multiple bits you've written. Especially with
>Honestly, it was difficult...
Because you don't need to tell me you're being honest unless there's a reason for me to think you're not being honest. In this context, "honestly" seems like nothing more than a filler word. Take out the "honestly" and it'll read a lot easier, just like that. Look for more redundant descriptions to cut out.
Have more trust in your readers dude. They're probably going to be dumb but they won't be that dumb.
>>
>>17265824
I think handsome knight is fine
>>
The words aren't really coming to me today, /wg/. What do I do?
>>
>>17265824
Thank you anon! I knew I had a tendency to over describe stuff, but having it pointed out makes it easier for me to look for in other sentence. On the subject of the honestly sentence, I was unsure if it read well without the pause. It was because I noticed that in a first person perspective, I use "I" and "me" religiously like a crutch so I was fixing it. Ironically, in this very post I've used those same words way too many times.
>>
>>17265868
you can often just drop I or me
>>
>>17265863
Go to them.
>>
>>17265882
That's what I figured, but it is still difficult for me to find alternative ways to refer to things like "My hand moved up to my I" or "I did this, and then I did that" without using the possessives. Any tips on that?
>>
>>17265943
I can only think of something like "reaching up to my i x blah blah blah," that's got some kind of name for it, and has its own problems.

I wouldn't worry too much about saying I too much though, it's pretty invisible
>>
>>17265943
you're overthinking it. switch the pov to third person and the I's become "he did that," "he moved his hand," and the pronouns would become invisible to you. You're just noticing that you tend to use a specific sentence structure. It's not necessarily a bad thing.
>>
>>17265961
>>17265975
Alright, that's a big weight off my mind. Thanks!
>>
>>17265943
Stop using filter language like "my eyes caught sight", you can just describe what's being seen directly since it's already implied that the MC is seeing something. In fact the entire text reads like it's happening inside the MC's head even when it's not supposed to, it creates an unnecessary distance.
The constant barrage of ironic self-awareness of tropes and overt meta-commentary is not endearing or interesting either, it just removes me from the story.
>>
Coincidences shouldn’t get characters out of trouble only into trouble. Is this true? What about a coincidence getting them out of one problem, but into a bigger one?
>>
>>17266168
sort of depends on the coincidence doesn't it? It should definitely be fine if the character takes advantage of it.

For example if the night shift of a prison that normally has two guards only has 1 because the other is sick or something and the main character comes up with a plan to escape, that's fine.

I think the main thing to be avoided is the author inserting a coincidence to solve a problem they wrote themselves into, it seems pretty easy to just rewrite what came earlier to avoid that problem though
>>
>>17266168
Are you talking about an out of the frying pan and into the fire type of development? There's nothing wrong with a coincidence bailing someone out of immediate trouble and throwing them into something that is just as bad or worse. It reflects the chaotic nature of life.
>>
Can anyone give me a heads up on whether my tenses are consistent here? I think they are but I didn't sleep much last night and it's doing my head in.
>>
>>17266303
seems fine
>>
>>17265597

I’m one if said two (2) posters. I honestly don’t care so much for the image as for the fact that OP (not really but tou know what i mean) out of spite keeps creating the threads with these images just because he got flamed for postin questionable material in an earlier thread. Thus, by people replying to ”his” thread he enjoys shadenfreude and perhaps even thinks that people are on his side when it comes to the images. I believe most are like you and dont give two shits.

But here we are, on the internet, where the maladaptive and shunned can reign supreme thanks to proxies and anonymity. Enjoy this, OP. I’m ok with it since it’s most likely the one thing you got going for yourself.
>>
>>17266323
Ty
>>
>>17263021
From last thread>>17259013
>bestiality
But why?
Maybe Hentai-foundry?
>>
>>17266303
Why the FUCK can't I blend descriptions and dialogue naturally like this. My writing always ends up
>he said
>he sat down in the old armchair
>she said
>she laughed
>she walked across the room
>he said

Etc. Reads more like a screenplay. Maybe I should read more instead of watching mainly films and TV
>>
I read positive reviews in my published chapters to prevent depression and writer's block.
>>
>>17266367
There's NOTHING wrong with he said she said.
>>
>>17266388
I keep reading this opinion here even though it's plainly obvious to anyone that it sucks, strive to write better instead of coping.
>>
>>17266404
Explain what's wrong with it.
>>
>>17266388
Yeah but there's things wrong with

'John. It's been a while.' she said.
John walked across the room slowly and stood in front of him, looking down at him, surprised.
'What are you doing here, Kate?' he asked.
Kate smiled.
'waiting for you' she said.
'how did you know I would be here?' John said.
Kate stood up and walked to the window. She opened the little top window to let fresh air in to ease their perspiration. She turned around and leaned against the windowsill.
'that's easy. It's because I know you,' she said.
John sat down in the seat she just left and looked at her with a frown.
'I didn't know I was that predictable,' he said.

^that's an extract from a short story I finished this week. Even I can tell its jarring and it doesn't click and flow like the poster I responded to. Its honestly really disheartening seeing writing in these threads that makes me feel like I shouldn't even bother
>>
>>17264881
jazz or ambient on a very low volume, and then nothing
>>
>>17266432
*should he her in the third sentence, sorry
>>
>>17266427
It's plain, repetitive and doesn't flow well, what do you think is good about it?
>>
>>17266432
You don't need to keep repeating who's talking when there's only two people
>>
How do you guys go about writing your first draft? I find it so utterly strenuous compared to editing. Do you write linearly from start to end, or jump around to your favourite bits and work from there? How do you style it?

I can only apologise if this has all been asked before. First drafts are, for me as a new writer, just a dreadful experience.
>>
>>17266432
Stilted dialogue, overuse of tags, repeating words, chucking in perspiration when everything else is very basically written, just really boring and cliché. How much do you read?
>>
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This is a draft for some superhero thing.
For reference, Mantis is a villain with a power loosely based off the Mantis shrimp, he can punch so hard and fast that the victim is basically burned alive by the force.
Mr Amazing is a superman type. Our MC is a kid who could pause time by holding his breath.
It's supposed to be satirical, but as far as structuring goes, how does it fare?
>>
>>17266464
I write completely random segments and basically give a little subtitle/headline for every fragment to make it easier to find
I keep writing these little thingies until I figure out how they relate to each other in the proper story and then start filling in gaps between them
>>
>>17266464
Yeah, first drafts are the toughest bit. The editing and polishing stages are the fun parts, and it's where you can really focus on aesthetics.

Just get the words on the page, even if they're shit. If you're sticking on a description write down {DESCRIPTION OF X} to deal with later and keep going. Same for conversations and anything else. Get the ugly, sprawling draft out, then spend a few months trimming and honing it into something half-decent.

You might find this of use

https://hughhowey.com/writing-insights-part-two-the-rough-draft/
>>
>>17266464
Basically write the first thing you know for sure is going to happen, then the next thing. You know the context for all of it, and the first draft is only for you. You can fill in the blanks after.
>>
>>17266452
A tower of floating heads isn't good either.
Taking turns between dialogue and actions is unnatural and doesn't evoke vivid scenes, arguing about tagging or not is missing the big picture.
>>
>>17266496
>The editing and polishing stages are the fun parts
No they're not, they're the parts where you cut thousands of words out, words that you spent so much time and effort on
>>
>>17266513
That snippet about John and Kate the anon posted was absolutely horrific and you're deluding yourself if you think otherwise.
>>
>>17266536
When did I imply it's even remotely good?
>>
>>17266521
I don't mind cutting out things if it improves the overall quality of the piece. It's really satisfying seeing a story evolve into a living, breathing thing over time.
>>
>>17265538
The fourth sentence is clunky, there are better ways to write that. The second paragraph is a mess and breaks the flow of the writing, it's entirely useless - it makes me think that you wrote it only in order to put that italicised zinger which I also disapprove of, though that is more pertinent to your style rather than your technical skill. Apart from that, your technical writing is adequate. I could read a story written at that level of skill without any complaints.
Judging from the content of your writing, however, we would not get along if we ever met. It seems you're running with some Deadpoolesque formula of throwing in zingers and using deliberately overly dramatic character writing. There is an audience for this. Maybe this is what you want and this is what you like. For my part, I loathe this because it's basically written to get a snort or two out of the reader, to get a reaction. That's all there is to it, no other intentions. There is nothing wrong with writing comedy, humour and histrionics, but I don't think this type of showman characters bring out the best of those things.
At least, this is my opinion. Maybe you have shit taste or maybe I have a stick up my ass, who knows. You posted your writing here so I'm posting my feedback. One last thing. I hope that this:
>I tend to always overanalyze my work till I pick it apart into nothingness.
Doesn't actually mean "I am insecure and if you give bad feedback I will have a mental break". It's ok to pick apart your work, but do it impartially and objectively. Emotions help with writing, not with critique or editing.
>>17265674
It does seem reddit-y.
>>17265728
>The MC is supposed to be cringe inducing as he lacks self-awareness.
Strange choice but ok. I've written way cringier characters in the past.
>>17265824
>lmao what are you gay
You will never be a real funny man.
>>17265863
Do the thing that usually makes the words come.
>>17266168
>What about a coincidence getting them out of one problem, but into a bigger one?
That's fine. Also, I think coincidence should be allowed to get characters out of trouble, but they shouldn't resolve major plot problems, unless you can do it in such a daring and entertaining way that everyone loves it anyway.
>>17266327
Consider me a third guy, I also think that OP is a flaming faggot.
>>
>>17266473
seems pretty good, maybe into the villains skull

and in the.... to just downtown

defiantly to defiant, maybe, or defiantly standing, and cut now before prone
>>
>>17266474
>>17266496
>>17266504
Thanks, anons. It sounds ridiculously obvious when I write it, but it's good to see that everybody goes through the same shit and have each got their own way about it.

>https://hughhowey.com/writing-insights-part-two-the-rough-draft/
thanks especially for this bit. I can't believe I've never read it before.
>>
>>17266360
>But why
Because who doesn’t love a good interspecies romance story?
>>
>>17266707
Interspecies =/= bestiality
The latter is for non-sentient creatures
>>
>>17266381
man i don't even remember stardust had pirates in it. all i can think about was that sweet fairy pussy
>>
>>17266473
the second half of the second paragraph slowed shit down
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>>17266550
Thank you anon, taken those into consideration.

>>17266832
Noted. I'll probably put it up a little further before this whole section, just before the hit.
>>
>>17266734
It is usually still considered bestiality/zoophilia and therefore taboo if it’s just an animal with human intelligence that can speak.
>>
Does anybody here use Grammarly? I'm using the 30 day premium trial and so far it's suggested some significant changed in my writing, but I'm not sure if it's worth the $11 a month.
>>
>>17267070
What does it do that Microsoft Word doesn't?
>>
>>17267091
Well its an addon for your word processor so it can be used with Word. I'm not sure if Word does any of the same stuff, I've been using Libre Office since I got my computer.
>>
>>17267132
My novel’s outline:

Confessions to Blue Father and Red Mother:
You don’t have to go through the pain we put them through to make it work.
You’re both more than half way there.
You’re both strong, noble souls.
Like Grampah here. He can give you light.
I can only give you each darkness when the light gets too bright.
So you can see that exquisite outline on Him!
Sorry Mr. President of the Wild Bunch, we all love you, so you’re stuck with it.
So is the tinfoil dragon slain?
I forgive you too.
I don’t want you to grow up too quickly.
But I don’t wanna coddle you either.
So get some light from this man.
Unlike my dragon, he won’t bite your head off.
I can only tell you the dark truth of what could be.
He can tell you the light truth of what may be.
Such was the role of mother and father, in my life.
Darkness and light, in equal measure.
Making a family.
And now my old angry eyebrows.
Are bristling in the wind.

This maybe one of those, “No one should have to think this way, not on our watch!”, angry eyebrow things, that I keep getting inspired to drunkenly write in my time here. I’m really not sure if it’s *hic* healthy.

[misspaste *hick*]
>>
>>17267321
To make it clear, I'm asking if the overall message I'm building is healthy, not if the line of thinking is - I sure as fuck know it's not.
>>
I’m posting the first 3 pages of a short story I just finished. The premise is as follows “A lonely college student gets a mysterious bump on his head that teaches him how to cope with alienation.”. It’s derivative, I know, but if intriguing at all please read, provide feedback, and let me know if you’d like me to post the remaining 5 pages. Thanks ahead of time.
>>
>>17267464
Page 2
>>
>>17267406
You're stirring my imagination at the least, line by line. A healthy build up if anything. Thank you!
>>
>>17267474
Page 3

Influences are Kafka (obviously) Shakespeare, Charlotte Bronte, and the anime Serial Experiments Lain
>>
>>17267478
I'll take the vote of confidence.

Hopefully come up with a better ending than, "Histories sure do rhyme a beautiful song."
>>
>>17267464
>>17267474
Before I continue - FLCL with a different end message? Or the same one?
>>
>r8, h8, evalu8
took me 1.6 hours

Our car stopped with a jerk, bumpers nearly touching, and my dad sighed. He tapped rhythmically on the wheel. Traffic jams always ticked him off. Driving to my birthday party, from my graduation, from the hospital — always. His gaze was hard and straight, piercing through the Kia before us. We stopped talking some time ago.

I set my eyes on the burned building beside me and kept silent. Its architecture was clearly European (marble steps, Roman pillars) with deftly executed local features (the tiered roof, for example). Some traceries would go along perfectly for the rebuild. The reflection of my face floated in the window, drenched red with tail lights, and my dad staring still, his face hard like slate. In the end it was only a charred husk in the evening.

I turned back, hesitated, and said, “That bank was from the French era.”
“It’s ugly. They ought to tear it down,” came the curt reply. He didn’t look at me.

I should’ve known better. Anger always made him honest. Yes, I wasn’t popular at school, and my degree was a joke, and I couldn’t really hold a drawing pen anymore, but I should’ve known better. In front of us, the Kia released its handbrake.

The light turned green and our car lurched forward. Maybe he didn’t mean it.
>>
>>17267568
I think it’s a different story entirely.
>>
>>17267474
>>17267498
>>17267568


I just realized I didn’t post page 3, here it is
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>>17264672
too late
>>
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I set out to write a thing about a guy and his teacher, and it turned into a eulogy about a man who doesn't exist by a man who doesn't exist and I don't know what to do about this feel.
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Rate my royal road title

"An isekai where I was turned into a girl, but I still like girls in a world where yuri is illegal?!?!?!"
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>>17262653
How do you guys stay motivated to keep writing when you consider that you likely won't get published or be popular? I've finished about 150 pages of my book so far—and when I sit down to work I get a certain catharsis from it—but on the whole it feels hopeless, even though I don't think the quality of my writing is poor.
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>>17267952
Reading...
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>>17268553
Page one seems to be the same lesson, but still reading...
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>editing a short story
>circle a sentence
>write "Find better words" over it
Find Better Words should be the title of one of the books meant to teach us how to write, and I'm disappointed it hasn't been used yet.
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>>17268596
I get your sentiment but would you write an entire book telling people how to use a thesaurus?
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>>17268620
It's not about a thesaurus, it's about finding a better way to say the same sentence. Sometimes things are awkward and clumsy and need to be written better. Hence, "Find better words"

And again, a title is usually just one part of a book.
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>>17268507
I'm sitting at almost 200k words/723 pages and I'm mainly writing for myself. If people like it and tag along then that's fine and dandy too.
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>>17268507
I have convinced myself that I am the best there is. (Because I am.) It's a god damn travesty that I haven't been published yet.
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>>17268507
I'm at 170k words and I've had a tremendous amount of fun writing the book so far. Once the draft is done and I do an editing pass or two I'm going to start posting it on retard road. if people like it, great. if they don't, fuck em.
that you shouldn't be writing, or doing anything really, in order to seek validation. people are retards in general. fuck em
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>>17266549
>The fourth sentence is clunky...
Thank you for taking the time to give me your feedback! Luckily, me overanalyzing my work is through objectivity rather than self-loathing. I'll digest what you've said and rethink my attempts. The best way to answer the style/content question is that it is more to do with my shit taste than anything else. I'm a weeb at heart, and enjoy some light novel genres that appeal to the lowest common denominator, isekai(another world), which invariably tend to go straight into wish fulfilment garbage. I liked the idea of the genre but not the execution so I wanted to see if I could do something better with it while simultaneously hitting some tropes and subverting them realistically.

On the note of the zingers. The second paragraph was more so me attempting how to describe a situation while also showcasing some minor knowledge that the MC had, so the zinger at the end is actually just a way I was figuring out how to attempt first-person characterization without the use of having another character to bounce off of. It appears that a common feedback is that they're cringe-worthy, which is somewhat intended, but if it takes the reader out of the story then I'll have to rethink it. Cheers!
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Does anyone feel really bad about what they put some characters through? I have this weird head cannon for myself that I simply create the worlds and characters, but it's my muse that is the agent of chaos going in and setting events in motion, and even when the blame isn't directly on me I can't help but feel like shit for killing this girl's little brother...
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>>17269396
nope, well maybe subconsciously. the way I've been writing my book its all about the universe kicking the main character over and over, and since I know where the plot is roughly going the main character has at several points made moves to prevent the next round of kicking, only leading me to come up with new and inventive ways to fuck with them anyway. if your characters are comfortable you're doing something wrong
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>>17269396
Of course not. I used to, but then all my characters ended up as stone-faced do-gooders who had nothing interesting to say. If you prevent your characters from experiencing adversity then it won't feel like they've earned whatever reward awaits them at the end of their story. A great challenge should have a great payoff.
I'm killing off my character's brother too because she's a fucking sociopath who needs to learn that actions have consequences. I get giddy thinking of all the ways I might traumatize her. But I would never put her through something that wouldn't end with an emotional payoff. There's a clear difference between hardship and torture porn.
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>>17269454
I mean, there's times it's warranted, but, even though these people don't exist, it bugs me to put them through so much pain. It's like they're standing next to me, just outside of my line of sight, burning holes in the back of my head desperate for answers, and the only one I have is, "Because that's the story."
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>>17269469
Maybe I broke one of the cardinal sins and fell in love with her along the way, I don't know. Maybe it's just something I need to grow out of or get used to. I'm still pretty early on in my journey, so...
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>>17269396
I make my daughterfu suffer because I love her and to make the healing pay off more.
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>>17269491
>>17269454
>>17269396
>>17269469
They aren't real. You made them up.

>>17269621
The patrician's choice.
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What's better for a 1st person perspective story? Present or past tense? I'm reading a book now using present tense and it seems to stand out a bit more, but I'm not quite sure what's more common or preferred.
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>>17265728
>B-b-but the character is supposed to be [x]!
This is my least favourite response to critique. It's almost always wrong. Usually when someone calls writing cringe (or pretentious or whatever) they mean the writing itself, not the character. Your character can be cringe and do/think cringey things but the critique is given because the writing itself is cringe, not just the character.
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>>17269675
If you're reading a diary or something, past. If you're actually there as things are going, present. ezpz
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>>17262653
>Any progress on your novels?
I accidentally wrote myself into a hole. I designed two major parts of the story to happen fairly close to one another, but connecting them is going to be a bitch. The characters are in the wrong location, the timing is shoddy at best, and there's nothing interesting happening in between.
fugg
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>>17269798
Just have it happen at the same time and reveal a twist where its actually two separate timelines converging.
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>>17269798
The problem is usually somewhere well behind where you think it is. You can try brute forcing it and fixing it later in the second draft, write the ending you want and then work backwards in the second draft, or go back now(most people shun this option, especially if it's your first couple novels) and fix it before continuing.

>>17269843
lol
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I still can't decide if I want there to be switching perspective in my book or just one. How do I decide?
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I just wrote a short story that features a loop from the ending back to the beginning and I'm pretty proud that I managed to work it out on the fly without even thinking about it. Didn't even know my brain was capable of creating something like that.
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>>17269396
>cannon
yngmi
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>>17267853
the part in () is explaining to much and unnecessary. Also I think you should replace bank with building. It takes away from the moment in the care to talk about the building as more than it is.


I set my eyes on the burned building beside me and kept silent. Its architecture clearly European and deftly executed local features. The reflection of my face floated in the window, drenched red with tail lights. My dad staring still, with his face hard like slate, only a charred husk in the evening <----- (replace this word with a more pros description of the surroundings).

I turned back, hesitant
That building was from the French era.
It’s ugly. They ought to tear it down, came the curt reply. He didn’t look at me.
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A young boy stands upon the edge of a misty pond on a cloudy morning. Nary a sound, nary another to bother the silence. The boy didn't know how he got here, he didn't pay any the thought any mind. He wondered what the time was and if he was late. He kept feeling a nagging of importance but couldnt for the life of him remember anything. Sun started poke through the trees and clouds from up above and behind him, to fall all around him and cloak him in warmth. The cold seemed to disapate for a brief moment. He turned to face the sun but caught a glint of white out of the corner of his eye. He paused his rotation to see a young child of what looked to be a girl on the edge of the pond. The girl appered to be younger than ten, had long sandy brown hair going down to her waist, and no shoes. Only the white sun dress clothed the girl. He was unable to make out any discernible featers before the child had ran off into the surrounding trees.

The boy still feeling the warmth of the sun beat down upon his cheekes turned to bask in the warmth before an all to familiar sound broke calm.

The girl is supposed to be important. I want to know if I did her justice.
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>>17269396
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English is not my first language, is there a good critique platform that can focus on how "natural" it feels to read what I write? I know Anons often post work here for review but I'd like to do this with every chapter I write.
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>>17270800
Start reading a shitload in English then you'll have a better sense of whether things sound natural.
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>>17270817
I guess I have to elaborate more. I can converse in English just fine (I think). I enjoy fantasy and history, and I'd like to write a novel where they speak faux-medieval (more like Shakespeare with modern grammar, I guess), and perhaps the in-universe bible is filled with archaic words. I just don't want it to look fucking retarded like pic related.
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>>17270869
Why not just write in your own language? As an English writer it's hard enough to write well in my own language, let alone someone else. You could always have it translated later.
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>>17270895
I don't like my own language.
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Back on it after focusing my efforts on grad applications this past week. Word consistency is all over the place but feels good to be back on it.
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>>17270727
cheers, good point on your second paragraph. but why did you remove the quotation marks?
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>>17271132
Keep at it brother
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>>17265538
Rather than tag everyone who provided me feedback, I'll just tag my initial post. With the advice everyone has given, I redid the excerpt I initially showed here. Would you say this is an improvement compared to the previous one? I apologize if coming back to see if it turned out better or not is a faux pas.
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>>17271377
Second paragraph is still out of order. You could cut it off entirely and nothing of value would be lost.
With that said, I think I prefer this one a lot more compared to the first one, though the "nailed it" at the end leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Maybe it reads a lot better when you've got something to follow up on it, but as a final line it's very unpleasant to look at. I'd rather get more description of his facial expressions or feeling smug or some dramatic line, rather than that. Maybe you are keeping it for the sake of self-awareness but it didn't make me happy reading it.
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>>17271484
Ah, yeah after I posted I looked at the second paragraph again and thought to myself "Maybe I should recycle it for later". As for the nailed it line, I am keeping it for self-awareness, but in the original there was an entire paragraph where he actually does have a mental soliloquy talking about all the effort he put into researching and other cringy shit. Aside from those two things though I'm happy to hear it was an overall improvement, thank you for your feedback anon!
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>>17271530
You are welcome anon. Glad I could be of use.
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Can I get some feedback on how natural my descriptions sound? English is not my first language. Having especial trouble with creating ancient-sounding prayers and the like.
Genre/Setting: generic fantasy.
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Novelists: how many drafts (total or near-total rewrites) do you write of your novels? I'm finishing my second soon and think I need a third, despite how unappealing the idea is.
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>>17271570
The descriptions are flawless but the passage is boring.
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>>17271919
three is the minimum. If you actually get it published you'll go through it a dozen more times. Embrace it, Anon.
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>>17272010
I have a hard time believe GRRM wrote A Game of Thrones a dozen times.
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>>17271965
It's meant to be slow exploration, not to say it's "intentionally boring". How does one fix such things? is it literally that something must happen? or is it the way i'm telling the story?
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>>17272084
not everyone is as lazy as you, Anon. Also, some people have a very particular view for they writing and will write and rewrite it until it reaches that vision.
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>>17270869
Shakespeare is modern grammar my man.
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>>17271570
Your writing is good, but for some reason the imagery isn't cohesive to me.
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>>17272519
>>17271965
Thank you for reading. Here's more in case it helps pin point the problems and if you're interested. Context: after the events of the first image, the main character unlocks a secret room and tries to enter, and then pic related happens.

I'm afraid this sounds like Oblivion dialogue. If you don't get the reference, I mean stiffled, cheap, dime-a-dozen "ye-olde-english" speak.

To clarify, I'm aware doing a Tolkien thing, I don't mind being derivative, I just care about not breaking the reader's immersion and having the narrative make sense.
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>>17271189
those are only needed to discern speech from text. You set up motion and the new line sets it apart already. Usually conversations flow line by line. When its back and forth you dont need quotations and -said. Those are for conversations usually with more than one person. "" can be used as an interruption or interjection as well. I messed up typing it out. Conversations should be at least double spaced away from the stating line
Like this.
It helps sperate conversations or talking.
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>>17271189
okay well fuck never mind you cant do it here.
--Imagine those lines are spaces.
--and this is a reply to the top line. If the character was still speaking the line would continue.
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>>17272716
I don't think you're inside the head of the character enough.

>felt the blade press at his neck

This should be a major thing. But the way you have it written doesn't side me with your character. It might feel weird, but try tugging on the reader's emotions a little bit more.
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Chapter Two is out. Lemme know what you think.

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/37998/wish-mountain/chapter/612839/the-trial-of-hress-dunter-chapter-two
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Is time travel something you'd consider reading about in a novel?
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>>17272815
Depends on how good it is, obviously. Pic related is how time-travel should be handled.
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>>17272815
All my favorite scifi is time related.

>>17272867
Primer was okay. I think it needed to make it a bit clearer by the end that the beginning of the movie wasn't the beginning of the story. That feels a bit cheap to me, as far as a way to handle time travel goes. My favorite time travel is in BotNS, where it ties into Christian spirituality.
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>>17272957
Eh, BotNS was just a guy going back in time and Forest Gumping his way to becoming several important historical figures. Sure it was nice payoff, but it wasn't particularly engaging for me.
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>>17272974
>just
Don't forget the hierodules, green men, or Valeria's family, or Abaia's existence. Also my favorite bit had little to do with the plot. When the Autarch shows the creature in the book and says that it was something that traveled back and forth in time, escaping the destruction of the universe and becoming more powerful. To me, that seemed to tie in with Baldander's whole thing in a really interesting way. I think that's what makes time travel good, is when the author comes up with some new philosophical implication of it and ties that into the story. As a plot device alone, it's whatever.
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>>17273000
Guess I'm reading those books again...
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>>17271919
>>17272010
>>17272104

I understand going back and editing things but complete rewrites is nonsense unless you want to completely change the tone of the novel. And unless you are retarded you get the tone right before you finish the first draft. Then you go back and edit the things that aren’t set in that tone and whatever other editing that needs to be done.

What you lack in talent you compensate for with work. For some this means three drafts or more, for others it means one. But no one gets away from editing.
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>just watched a youtube video that went viral where a guy ate a page of his debut novel (100k words) every day
>there's an entire series of him just eating pages of his book
>tfw his book became a bestseller
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Along with drawing, I had the idea to write and draw comics/graphic novels. However, poor social skills and relatability (on top of other issues I'm currently working through) have stopped me. Any idea I come up with ends up being a knockoff of shounen trash that has themes that are too verbose/ abstract. I guess my question is, how do I focus my ideas and actually begin writing something?
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>>17273545
Stop thinking about it and JUST DO IT. It worked out well for Erik Larsen.
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>>17273545
As the other anon said, just sit down and start writing. Or alternatively, a more codependent option would be to team up with someone else who can write the sort of material you like and just draw for them. Similar to how manga and light novels operate.
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>>17262653
I belched out 21 000 words of a story I'm bleeding into a fan fiction that I'm trying to not look like absolute dreck but my syntax is absolutely horrible. Always has been I never learned.
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>>17273791
>belched out 21 000 words
It's taken me a week to reach 17,000 you fucking cunt stop trivializing my efforts
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>>17272746
>>17272755
i see, thank you anon
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I feel like I really overuse semicolons in my writing. I'm definitely using them correctly, but nonetheless I use at least one or two every chapter. I really like the way they can unite sentences but I hardly ever see them whilst reading. Is it really going to throw readers off?

>>17273791
Belching out 21,000 words is still great, anon. Revise with time and be happy you got the words to page.

>>17273545
Think about what's important to you. If your poor social skills have impacted you much, that could easily be a good theme. Doesn't mean that the whole comic needs to be a sad sperg-fest; your hero can just struggle with how it affects whatever badass shit he's doing on the side.
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>>17273976
never use semicolons
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>>17274065
Don't listen to this retard, I haven't read a single work of good literary fiction that didn't use semicolons. Even Hemingway used them sometimes.
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For me -- it's the em dash.
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Thinking about printing a few A6 hardcover copies of my short story collection to pass around to my lit friends
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>>17274134
I only saw em dashes in 100-year-old books before and started using them more to stand out. Now every tard spams them everywhere. Stop copying me!
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>>17274166
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>>17274134
Retarded question but when the fuck do I use -- versus a single dash?
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>>17274199
https://www.thepunctuationguide.com/em-dash.html
I too used to make the same mistake.
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>https://pastebin.com/0JWPxT3y
I've posted this before but I'm getting ready to start trying to pitch it as a short story as I continue to work towards something of novel length. I'm not sure if there's a single person on the planet who'd sit through 3000 words of this, much less publish it. I've been over it with a fine tooth comb—anything you see is the result of a conscious decision. I mean that, anything. Could use some feedback, bullying, dick rubs, anything. Any feedback is welcome and highly appreciated. More specifically, I'd love to be pointed in the direction of any journals or magazines that are willing to publish (highly) experimental fiction.
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>>17274298
Great, pastebin has completely prevented me from posting my shit now. Anyone know if a similar alternative?
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>>17274298
>Error, this is a private paste or is pending moderation. If this paste belongs to you, please login to Pastebin to view it.
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>>17274321
>https://0bin.net/paste/NDPr6666#OAK-m4rrgY1NasQr0QGkzJsjjxFceHWJFor6qA76l73
You'll see why pastebin hates me in a second.
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>>17274331
well I read it but I'm not too sure why — experimental fiction has never really been my thing so it grated on me even before I started reading it
don't know if I can comment on the quality or give meaningful feedback but it felt too purple to me, although some parts hit home it mostly felt distracting, I think straightening it out a bit would give it a better pacing but then again I'm not really sure what you're trying to do so take this for what it's worth
also I haven't slept in about 2 days
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>>17270895
I never performed well in my native language whenever it came to grades. So I started to feel more comfortable in english.
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>>17274488
I used to be just like you
Then I discovered my all-time favorite writer wrote in my native language, read 1200 pages of his work a week every week until I finished his life's entire output and now I will stick to my native language.
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>>17274441
Thanks for the read through anon, I appreciate it. I'm honestly not sure why I'm asking for feedback. Since it's so entirely personal, I feel like it either works or it doesn't and that there's little to no remedial action I could take. I don't want to give up the ghost too much by making things explicit, but my idea for the structure of the book is to set it up like a Skinner box. There's an experiment going on, but the goal is to hit the reader with some dopamine (via poeticism, lyricism, etc., read: purple) to keep them engaged while the experiment proceeds. It's a metanarrative structure I see in a lot of the writers I admire. I don't know if their intent was as methodological, but mine is to crystalize it.

There's some arrogance bound up in it, since I'm assuming I can actually write those passages well enough to fulfill their purpose, and I have no way of knowing that. If I were a little kinder to myself I'd call it ambitious rather than arrogance, but they both reference the same intent. Suffice it to say that some of your reactions are what I intended—distraction is part and parcel to what I'm trying to accomplish. I just need to find a way to generate more goodwill, maybe.
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>>17274507
Well on top of that I don't think there is much of an audience for the things I write or writing in general of I wrote in my native language.
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>>17274614
My language is spoken by 5.5 million people and we have plenty of great writers. One even won a Nobel prize.
I'm comfortable with this audience.
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>>17274643
Good luck to you, then.
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>>17274661
Same to you, fren.
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How do I know when having two POV characters is necessary and that it doesn’t feel like just smashing two books together?
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>>17274709
It would be unnecessary when the characters aren't contributing actively to the same story. If you want to do it, I'd try to make sure that both characters' stories are expressing different facets of the same story. It's not, however, enough to just provide different perceptions of the same story. If both of your characters are actively driving the story, I'd say that's a justifiable usage of the technique.
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>>17274567
>I just need to find a way to generate more goodwill, maybe.
good way of putting it I guess, give the reader something more to hang onto as he makes his way through it
either way it sounds interesting even if it's not my type of thing, godspeed anon
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Does anyone have a writing routine? Or do you just start writing whenever the mood strikes
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>>17274821
>have a writing routine
this is the write way
>just start writing whenever the mood
this is the wrong way
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>>17274970
Gass wrote The Tunnel in the latter way. Joyce did the same with Finnegans Wake. There's no right way to do it in a general sense, but there's a way which works for you. Stop trying to universalize writing please.
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>>17274821
I do both.
I try to write 1000 words every week, but there are times I take a break to read or do other things.
When the mood strikes I will have to note down with my phone before I forget it.
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>>17275042
>I try to write 1000 words every week
Shit, doing that would mean it'd take you 100 weeks to write a 100k word book
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>>17275074
Yeah but it could end up being a damn good 100k words if you're taking your time
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>>17274821
About an hour before I write I'll turn on some loud music then run around in circles to get the blood pumping.
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>>17275074
Well I know my writing is shit so it's a hobby, not a career.
I'm content with the fact that out there somewhere people are reading my works.
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>>17262653
>no thread discord
what the fuck anons
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>>17275344
We tried it, doesn't work well. There's some faggy roaming clique that comes from other communities and just shitposts and circle jerk. It's a really objectionable dynamic.
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It's so, so, so much easier not editing as I go along. Beforehand I'd suffer so much creative constipation, get 200 words out in a day which I'd constantly revise and polish, and whenever I realised a scene didn't work and I had to delete hours and hours of work I'd just give it up.

Now I'm just letting it flow. If I can't think of a name for something I insert a marker and keep going. If I contradict something I've written earlier I keep going. If dialogue is shit I just keep going. Now I'm cracking out thousands of words which I'll revise at the 25k mark.

Feels so freeing to actually be progressing the story on the page, even if it's messy.
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>>17275356
>discord
>faggy circlejerk
whoa, who would've thought!?
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What do I do, bros? I wrote a story that's too damn scary. My hands are literally shaking when I'm writing. I'm barely halfway through the draft and the suspense is killing me. Jesus christ how horrible
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>>17275933
>revise at the 25k mark
I do it on a chapter by chapter basis. Of course I've written 18k words now and have only one 3k word chapter finished in all of that...
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>>17275975
Yeah, living in a society is hell.
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>>17275976
I would do that but I feel like once the draft is done I might want to swap scenes around, heavily amend them, or add new ones in entirely. My novel is in three parts, 25k/45k/15k, so I'm just gonna try and finish each part before redrafting.
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>>17276011
I'm also opting for three parts but they're all going to be pretty even in size. A 9-month period translates to 3 sets of three month segments pretty naturally.
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>>17276036
Sounds good. Good luck!
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My parents were freedom fighters, in the most honest sense of the word. Honest isn’t a word usually reserved for demons or the denizens of Hell, but to my mind, it’s what they were like from the notes and diaries I read that my mother had kept at that point in her life.

From time to time, as I turned one page after another, I would come across a little drawing that was neatly tucked in between chapters. My mother’s own handwriting was rough and uneven, the results of what little education she had, but the penmanship in these sketches were exquisite and elegant, as though whoever had drawn them had spent much much time under the tutelage of the masters in the Heavens above.

First, it was of Hell’s natural flora and wildlife, then it moved on from that to sceneries of rugged landscapes and crowded city streets.
Then there were the drawings of people, groups of people often crowded together in rooms that seemed uncomfortably small, as if they were all afraid of being seen together gathering in public.

Among them, I noticed at the forefront a young woman with red hair and curled horns who resembled someone I knew. She was incredibly happy, despite the sparse conditions, as though she had waited eagerly all her life to be in that room at that very moment.

As the pages I read increased, so did the demons in these sketches. There were hundreds now, each face different from the last, each one bearing a burning desire for change after a lifetime of being trampled upon by those in the classes above them.

They weren’t hiding in cramped spaces any longer, and as the lines of this artist became more confident so did the cast of characters he drew. Soon they were covered in armour instead of rags, with swords and shields in hand instead of the wooden clubs and farming scythes they once held in the earliest days of the rebellion.
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>>17276444
By the end, even that had all dispersed away, and this red haired woman was all that was left of these sketches. She was alone now, and shy during the first time her portrait was being taken. Unable it seemed, as I glanced over the half finished drawing, to settle herself on what face she would make.

She was frowning in the second one, no longer desiring to be there, and that one, judging from what little ink had been split on the page, was abandoned even more quickly than the first.

By the third though, his patience and her patience had finally paid off. She was content now, adorning herself with the smile of an experienced stateswoman, and her back and her concerns were turned away for once from the conflict that she and this artist had survived.

I wondered if she was smiling because the civil war had to come to an end, or if she was only smiling back at the man that was behind the palette and the easel.
As I looked into her emerald eyes, and how they followed me wherever my head went, I realized it was the latter

Of course, by the time I’d finished, I understood who this artist was and I was very proud to be his daughter.
>>
>>17276444
>but to my mind, it’s what they were like from the notes and diaries I read that my mother had kept at that point in her life.
clean this sentence up. its length and obtusity aren't commensurate with what's actually being said. i don't know how to put it better if that doesn't make sense, but this is a theme from what i can see of what you've posted. you should look for economy in your sentence structure before you branch out into longer, more involved phrases. that would sound ridiculous coming from me if you've seen the way i write, but you need to learn to follow the rules really well before you can start looking at breaking them. my advice would be to go back through it all and see what you can get rid of without losing the essence of what you're trying to convey. then, if you still feel it's necessary, add shit back in a more artful way. really play around with sentences, see what works. i get a very "on-rails" feel from your writing. let it breathe a little.
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>>17276498
Thanks Anon
>>
Do any of you have a discord channel for literature
>>
I want to write in present tense, but it just feels weird to me. Any good recommendations for first person, present tense books I can read to get over my hang up?
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>>17275356
We did? Are you talking about the Fade to black horror discord? I never once saw any discord from here that claimed to be for /wg/ other than that one. There were a few other /tg/ ones but they weren't for writing I think.
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>>17276717
a close study of the molloy trilogy is all you need. beckett runs through elements of pretty much every possible permutation of a first person, present tense style. it's like a bible for what can and can't be done (but often is anyway) with first person present tense.
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>>17276759
Well thank you. I have to admit, the only thing I’ve read from him is Waiting For Godot so I’ll definitely have to give that a shot.
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>>17262653
Rate my prose
I would like to, have sex. Have sex with a woman. I would like to have a sex with a girl because I deserve it. Sure I don't keep myself in the best condition but really, its just a meat meet, not much to take care of. I post on 4chan, I don't really read books. I just post and present the other retards with mixed metaphors and shoddy effort-posts which are really mistaken extrapolations. I see myself as proficient in the language but never really took to grammar. I want to read the great stylists but after Page Six I wonder if the match their insights to the language and if so I should really get back to my studies in grammar. But when I get there I realize, well some of the best stylists had an unorthodox grammatical structure and I'd rather make something original then get into same tired, beaten cliches most writers seem to inhibit. Maybe if I read them bit by bit or collect different styles of writing without any sort of syntax analysis, maybe then I'd create something well. Why yes, I am sure of it!, I will write something worth reading.
>>
>>17264391

Not true. Call of the Arcade is awesome.
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>>17276864
epic! let's completely derail the thread and talk shit about incels instead of staying on-topic and helping each other figure out writing. great idea! thanks anon!
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>>17276990
Well thank you very much anon but you've made a slight error in your appraisal. Thread is soon to reach bump limit so there wouldn't be any sense in trying to bait /lit/zens so late in the game. I was also hurt by your incel remark, this assumes that Ron the character whose monologue I wrote was an incel or his comments were designed to make fun of them. I'm sorry anon but this was an incredibly rude comment to make. I don't enjoy hurting people and I think you owe me an apology.
Apart from that minor quibble, thanks a bunch! Good to see people responding to my work
>>
>>17277062
you think you're clever. yes, i know what you're saying. if you want to be a nigger, be my guest.
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>>17276864
judging by your use of commas I'm going to assume you're F. Gardner?
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>>17277103
just some literal jungle-hearted nigger who wants to cheapen everything so he can be king of the unpublished writers.
>>
The priest who hurriedly buried the nag hammadi gnostic texts in a tomb for fear of all of their knowledge being burned for heresy and permanently lost by rival Christian sects.
Imagine what he must have felt, the world he must have lived in to do such a thing, he must have thought he was being pursued by the agents of the demiurge, the very creator of the world he lives in trying to destroy for good the last material examples of the knowledge that can set people free from his evil clutches. It must have been like a /pol/ tier conspiratard on crack, 100x more intense. Imagine his fear that it all would be lost, him desperately trying to preserve this last thread of hope that humanity could cling on to before being caught and dying himself. It’s such a powerful scene as I imagine it must have been. If I were any good at writing I would create a short story about this.
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>>17274821
When I'm editing/revising I just do some each day. When I'm writing I will try to shoot for 1,000 words per day, 500 is the bare minimum
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>>17276893
This.
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>>17275344
>>>/lgbt/
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>>17262653
For a fantasy or sci fi serialisation, would people prefer the sparse writing style of Elmore Leonard, Orwell or Westlake or something with more expensive diction like Macaulay, Gibbon or Carlyle (not an imitation, I'm talking the real deal, hypothetically of course) so that you could immerse yourself better.
I was thinking a synthesis but would people who enjoy these types of stories be comfortable reading something bare bones or detailed?
>>
You're supposed to italicize the titles of things when you write, yeah?
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I wish my character was real and we were a couple.
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>>17277435
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>>17264535
>I can never trust my gf
Find a critique group, even an online one. Beta readers who aren't writers can only be so useful.

If your (certainly imaginary) gf were a ballet dancer, would you be able to correct her form?
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Do you guys have any tips on how to hammer out a book?

I just wanna let loose and write 10k a day but the most i make is 2k a day
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>>17278078
2k a day, even just five days a week, gets you an 80k novel in less than two months. You could write six a year.
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>>17278110
Well i have this habit of constantly going back and editing which is not healthy

I was told it was best to hammer it out then edit it
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>>17278078
10k a day is quite a lot. NaNoWriMo is 50k in a month which is difficult for most people. I would say 2k is a very respectable achievement especially if you work or have school
>>
>use the word "though" too much
>cut it ruthlessly
>use the word "just" too much
>cut it as much as possible
>where it's absolutely necessary I try to replace it with something like "simply"
Am I doing it right?
>>
i'm native swedish and wrote it in swedish, i used google translate since im lazy to transfer it. I wrote this within a hour. it ends abrupt due to max count.

The night had fallen for the day, but the last rays struggled to stay. The temperature was hot and he himself was tired after the whole day's strenuous sun. This moment was almost perfect and he felt more than well relaxed. The view was absolutely amazing, our sky painted in pink tones and the trees dancing lightly with the wind. The knob was in its own world together with other small creatures that ravaged the magical field of flowers and nature. On special occasions he used to come to this place. It had become a small tradition of his own, a notice that something bigger had happened in his own calendar of life. He fumbled for a cigarette how his pocket and let the smoke unite with his calm. Beyond the end of the field, two small deer had begun to wander out of the forest grove. They were very cute with their little horns and he had always appreciated seeing animals in the wild. He let out the smoke that had just been a part of him and that was now returned with the rest of the world. Worlds unite and split from one day to the next. Today I woke up with the motivation to do a good job. Then get the answer back that we were not enough. The war was lost and our troops are defeated, our flag has fallen and our dirt is unwashable, he thought to himself. The deer had now looked up at him and stopped in connection with the observation. None of us were re-locked as there was none, we were locked behind the barrier of time. Everything would be brought back to reality if one of us touched. In the end, I lost interest and wanted to play with the idea of scaring it instead. I hurriedly made a grimace and an ugly sound that would hopefully scare the deer. As expected, it was impulsively full speed with pressure on the hind legs behind for full flight. The deer had had time to turn half with its body before I had time to lose my grip on my laughter. We had certainly kept our eyes peeled for 5 minutes, and out of nowhere I screamed. It must be incredibly fun for someone passing by to see it all. Our gaze had lasted so long that it felt like I could look into the deer's soul, read his predictions about his life, tell him what berries he would be allowed to eat in the last few days. The wind gave a small caress to his hair, and the cold slipped under his shirt. His cigarette he had lit had been extinguished, and when he raised his hand he looked at it in surprise.
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>>17278134
look, anon, i just spent an hour alone with my laptop. I felt like a I put in a lot of work for the time I spent.
But then I went back to read what I wrote and I'll I got down was one sentence. One hour to write one sentence?
Don't you dare edit while you write, bitch. If you want to get this shit done you gotta put some words on the page first. Doesn't matter how poorly written you feel they are. You'll have time to edit later, but only if you write something now. You can't edit a blank page.
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>>17278195
Im gonna try

Its not like this shit is ever gonna get published
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>>17278210
You're going to keep writing until you're published, little man.
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>>17278221
I have made this thing very nauseating to read by randomly switching perspectives and adding nonsense phrases and rants into it, but they fit the theme

I could get some social justice brownie points though
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>>17278078
Setting a goal of 500 a day is the best option. It's impossible to burn out with this little, and if you happen to get into the groove of things, you end up writing way more than this.
>>
What’s wrong with Light Novels? I think they have their place in modern literature.
>>
Did you guys write these Horrors Call books? Nice job to whoever did. Reading Crocodile now.
>>
I hate Microsoft Word so fucking much. I just use it for final edits and creating PDFs... How do you people who unironically write in this thing do it?
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>>17278790
what do you use? I pirated Scrivener and it seems like such overkill, not to mention you can't really see a page format until you're done because they're tryhards with their "single page feeling" format.
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>>17278663
Give me some good light novels then
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>>17279115
Not him but I've been enjoying Youjo Senki.
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>>17279119
>The salaryman is reborn as Tanya Degurechaff, an orphaned girl in an alternate reality's equivalent of Imperial Germany, known as the Empire.
Can you be a more stereotypical /pol/ refugee?
>>
>>17279179
I don't go to and never will go to /pol/, and I've always considered myself apolitical. Anyway If anything the narrator gets /biz/ early on since the protag belongs to a business company before his death. It also has its fair share of religious stuff and an awkward out of place sequence with deities but I Tink he focuses far less on it after the few volumes. The only thing /pol/ about is the protag's distate for communism which I personally didn't mind too much.
>>
Do you think any famous authors roleplay online on sites like f-list to flex their skills?
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>>17279364
Goerge Martin.
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>Anon, your book reads like an old man's writing from XIX century.
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>>17279434
God, I have this problem so much.
>>
Wrote a few openings for my book. How do I know which one is better and more engaging?
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>>17279690
Post 'em here
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>>17279734
Not in English. Sorry.
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>>17279736
I also speak klingon and esperanto if that helps.
>>
I used to write in spontaneous bursts of energy. I'd sit down and spill 5k words in a day - but then not write for weeks. Since the beginning of the year I've been writing ~500 words per day. Some days are harder than other. I lack the motivation or things don't flow so well. But I look at how much I have accomplished with so little and that gives me hope. It's like going to the gym or growing a tree. A little bit everyday and soon you'll reach the end.
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>>17279434
It's true, there's no reason why you should write like that unless writing historical fiction.
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>>17279434
shit, and I was going for VIIIX century.

Seriously, someone telling me my writing was like an old man's writing would be one of the biggest compliments I could receive, and that's probably why I'll never receive it.
>>
>>17280035
Is there any reason why your writing is reminiscent of an old man?
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>>17280048
No, but at an event back in the summer a teenager walked up to me and said I looked like a grumpy old man. The single greatest compliment I've ever gotten.

I'm 25, for the record.
>>
At 11 AM I place a frozen hot pocket in the microwave, a Daewoo KOR6L77 with a 20 liter capacity and 5 power levels with the highest being 700 watts (it has no other options aside from timer knobs), and commence with the morning’s jerking session. Afterwards I grab a soft faux-cotton Kleenex – with auxiliary fibers to get even the most stubborn of dirt layers – and wipe the cum off my protruding stomach.

Then I open my microwave and grasp the hot pocket, with cheese, meat, and vegetables. The aroma is nice and familiar, and though the heat of it hurts my hands and mouth, I can’t wait any longer before gorging in the sublimity of it.

After breakfast is done, I go back to my room. My mother, a 42-year-old roastie who couldn’t keep a husband to save her life and who adores me, is still sleeping in the bed like some sort of ox. I sit at the edge of the bed and grab my PS4 controller, a DualShock 4 with Bluetooth capability, along with touch input sensor in the middle and wireless functionality, and press the button in the middle, turning on the PlayStation 4 console, with built in Blu-ray player, and start up OverWatch.

I am very good at OverWatch. There is aim-assist but I find this wholly irrelevant to the grand scheme of things, as I don’t even try aiming in the first place. I dislike playing on PC though because of the lack of aim-assist and how this allows PC gamers to cheat using adjustable DPI in their color-coded mouses. I tend to main Tracer in the game because her exotic accent hardens my cock and her ass invigorates a sense of pride in me for having so much prowess playing her. It is as if I control Tracer, I am her master.
Blizzard, the company who created OverWatch, has gone on record to state Tracer is a stupid-fucking-dyke and removed the lurid victory pose of her ass. This agitated me and so I sent 138 messages, each with burner emails, explaining my dissatisfaction and how the day of reckoning would come. I also informed them that if I ever saw one of their employees, I would slice their fucking throats with a chiseled disc of OverWatch and shove my dicks up their ass since they love faggots so much.

Around 3 PM my mother finally wakes. It is a loud and boisterous affair that breaks my concentration, which I believe is her intended effect as I looked over to acknowledge her and see her drooping hit-the-wall-when-I-was-23 face smiling at me. She asks if I slept well but I grunt a response and allow her to make her own interpretations off that. Out of the corner of my eye I see her scrunch her nose and make a face, I assume she is smelling the mixture of balls and semen on my hands since I didn’t bother washing my hands after my earlier jerk.
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>>17280078
Absolutely Reddit. Is this a Ready player one Homage?
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>>17280065
Jesus.
>>
>>17279115
My sister has a brother complex and only i know it

Don't let the name fool you or the art. it delves deep into the psychological mindset of what makes someone view their siblings in a romantic light.
>>
>>17280332
>In my third year of middle school, I found the Onii-chan Notes in Akari’s room: a detailed log of my every behavior. Not to mention when she was usually so cold towards me, lo and behold, she was head over heels in her notebook. Oh, let’s not forget, my discovery of finding out that there were surveillance cameras and listening devices hidden around my room…! In the summer of my second year of highschool, I learned of Akari’s plan to ‘Lock up Onii-chan, and make it so he can’t live without me’. I made my decision. Then and there. To interact with Akari as a brother—nothing more—and stop her before this goes too far—!
What the fuck is this retardation?
>>
>>17280332
Every light novel I've tried has been shit. Just horribly written. I don't know if it's a translation issue or not.
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>>17280078
>I dislike playing on PC though because of the lack of aim-assist and how this allows PC gamers to cheat using adjustable DPI
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>>17280351
My romantic comedy snafu is decently written. Though then again, the protagonist is autistic.
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>>17280350
>lock him up
>before it goes too far
pick one
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New thread when
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I finally hit 50 followers on Royal Road.
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>>17280332
you should feel too ashamed to even let us, complete strangers, know that you enjoy this.
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>>17280407
Here it is.

>>17280419
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>>17280427
It’s a guiltily pleasure.
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>>17280414
how long did that take anon? is it hard to get new viewers?
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>>17281511
I enjoyed this a lot anon. As for criticism I'd say that in a few places the syntax becomes a bit awkward but that might just be me being slow, and that's about all.
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>>17264680
How do you find these commissions?
>>
Heyo. I just wrote something in the past ten minutes and didn’t try and touch it up a lot aside from a few typos so this might be a bit incoherent. I was gonna put this on leddit to get feedback but I thought I’d try here first. This is the first thing I’ve ever seriously written so it’s prolly gonna sound headass but here goes:

Christ, how I found you
As if in a love story

Lying in your room doing your best to size me up
Waiting for me to leave ‘cause I interrupted some sort of triumph

Shutters closed
Messy hair
Eyes narrowed
Fair skin

Smoking a cigarette because vaping was for kids

Oh, but how you were a child
In how you held those tears back
And how you longed for something new
And how I had always thought I had found that in you

Alas, how you were never into contemporary art
The abstract didn’t comfort, but just certified you were ill
Yet you read Pynchon and Wallace instead of watching the sunset
You’d dream of Jung and Plath to inspire instead of realizing you slept all day

Christ, I’m not sure why you latched onto me
You made sure I loved every part of you
I loved how your hair would fall over you eyes
How you’d ponder things beyond your lifetime
How we’d watch the rain together in a world where it never rained


How you’d refrain from ending things with one swift blow
I loved how you convinced me I needed you when you began to change
But especially, I love how we drifted apart
I loved the hole left inside of my heart

I loved the way I found your body hanging

Shutters closed
Messy hair
Eyes narrowed
Fair skin

For those drenched veins no longer boiled hatred
But I just don’t love the fact that you never said anything
Please criticize as best you can as I seek to improve. I’ve really have never written anything else seriously ever so I’m kinda nervous bout this.
>>
>reach the part where I have to describe the dress of the female character
>brain gives no words
>>
>>17283642
"That bolt of fabric stretched around her tubercle like a sash of bacon concealing a broiled date."
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>>17282082
is this a poem about your ex
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>>17283642
the draped fabric hung ever so lightly, like a curtain hiding the sunlight. it was concealing a man's most prized posession which only increases the novelty and allure of its mystery that lies beneath the fabric seal. The dress, showing just enough to ease the thirst but not enough to quench it, truely is a powerful garment for what it is.
>>
>>17283642
Just say what it's like in basic terms, like being flowy, frilly, etc. Don't go overboard in describing clothes unless your story is about fashion.
>>
i write a sonnet everyday. I can write them quicker now so what else can i do to practice my writing?
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>>17283642
>fabric
>>17283694
>fabric fabric

lmao these niggas bending ass over backwards to not call cloth a cloth
>>
>>17283968
write two sonnets every day
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>>17280577
Most stories get more readers a lot faster. I am on 65 chapters now. But it is more readers than I ever had before so I think it's a success.
>>
>>17262653
Noel is such a beautiful woman. It drives me crazy thinking about what a nasty girl she is, and I wonder how it affects her relationship with the other girls. Do they just ignore that she's a cam whore? Do they joke about it? Or are they masturbating with the rest of us? Honestly, I think it would be hard for us to be friends. Every time we talked, let a lone met in real life, my mind would drift to the image of her tits swinging in the air, and the sweet vibrations of her voice smoothing out my coomer brain. Part of me hopes that she is a horrible person off cam, so that I wouldn't even have to worry about befriending her, and eventually marrying her. But that's not a shut deal either. I'm remined of Sio, how cool she seemed interacting with Towa, and tye heartbreak I felt when I learned that she is an examplar of dark triad traits. Now looking back over past vods I'm overwhelmed with desire for her. In hindsight you can see her evil peeking under the mask, and it's completely changed my view of her, and not for the worse. I'm hiding in the closet as I type this on my phone, and I hear my manager calling for me. I hope I'm getting fired.
>>
Dear /wg/,

I used to get depressed because I wanted to be a writer and yet never wrote. These days I get depressed because I now write a lot, only to receive masses of rejection letters.

Is it better to try and fail or not try at all?
>>
>>17285917
Write for yourself. This is the only thing that matters.
Rejections simply mean you're not good enough YET. They're blessings in disguise.



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