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>be me
>father talks about trannies
>mildly push back
>he says he would disown anyone that was trans
>ask if I am
>laugh and say obviously not, I just know some stuff from listening to debates
>actually laughing cause I'll be dead in a couple years and he'll have no idea why

How'd ur thanksgiving going repbros?
>>
/repgen/ is wrong, reaching out to friends family and therapists to deal with your mental illness is the correct way forward.
>>28483240
I would try to talk to him again. a few years ago my mom told me that she thinks trannies are mentally ill butchers, this year she told me that they are basically okay. she has zero trans people in her life -- not counting myself because i am a repper not a tranny.
>>
Helpful reminder in case you forgot
>>28483807
>>
>>28484329
he literally said it today
>>
happy thanksgiving I guess
>>
>>28484351
Hey kid you should delete system 32
>>
>>28483240
I WISH I WAS A WOMAN
>>
>>28485559
ME TOO
>>
>>28483240
can I post on repgen if I take hormone but stay in the closet because I'm such an utterly monstrous gigahon that I will never be a woman and I know it?
>>
Why can't you just act really feminine and date other men? Why do you NEED to castrate yourself to be happy?
>>
>>28487791
I don't even like men, I just want to be a woman (superior) instead of a moid (hideous animalistic abomination of hulking bones and matted hair)
>>
>>28483240
>>he says he would disown anyone that was trans
>>ask if I am
shit he's onto you
>>
has every other board become basically fucking unusable for anyone else?
literally every single thread has someone seething about trannies no matter what, I mean I may be a mentally ill repper, but at least I'm not as obsessed with trannies as the average freak on this website
>>
Sometimes I can look at myself and think I look okay and feel optimistic and feel like transitioning might be a decent option and I could at least look okay but I was just looking at myself in the mirror feeling like I really look like a man and feeling sick and depressed over it, then I looked and saw some extremely cringe timelines and thought like fuck it, whatever, I don't really even need to transition, my body is just a shell and it shouldn't matter or be a big be and I can just keep living as a man like this. I can tell myself things like that, tell myself it's not important or that I'm just latching on to a stupid idea, but the idea of just having to live out the rest of my life as a man makes me want to die.
>>
>>28484329
I think a lot of people just don't know much about trannies and have never really knowingly been exposed to them, so all they know is like the extremely cringe hons and all of the insane shit the media says about trans women. I've heard plenty of stories where transphobic people changed their minds once they met a normal and at least mostly passing trans person.
>>28483240
I wouldn't have the luxury of dying without anyone knowing, once I came back out of really heavy denial I told my partner because it felt really wrong to know and admit it to myself and not say anything, and if I were to off myself, they'd probably tell at least my family that that's a very probable reason why.
>>28487791
It's not good enough, having a male body is absolutely repulsive to me. I feel like a disfigured monster and like I'm a prisoner trapped inside of my own skin. Everything feels wrong, and even socially, being a feminine man isn't the same thing as being a woman. I already am very fem for a man but it's nowhere near good enough, it's just wrong. I'd feel way more fucked up if I was a more masculine looking man so at least I have that going for me I guess but like... Yeah. I wish it was enough, having going insane while risking snapping and ending my own life or turning myself into a tranny as basically my only choices is a very grim prospect. Right now I'm just floating in the in-between, being basically as fem as I can get away with while abusing drugs constantly to numb the pain I feel from continuing to live this way. I repeatedly consider transitioning to get out of this hollow shell of a life because honestly living the way I am now is extremely depressing, at best I usually just feel kind of empty with a thin veil of content from the drugs, and it can get so bad sometimes, so so bad and dark. It just feels like I'm living for no reason at all.
>>
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>>28483240
I'm doing great. I'm 19 years old and I already look like a rapehon because I am one. There truly is no point in transitioning into a girl for me.
>>
>>28488263
They're mindless philosophical zombies going along with whatever the media tells them to be mad about and eating up the information they're fed without bothering to experience reality or read any opposing viewpoints or anything. I bet most of them have never even knowingly met a tranny. It reminds me of like Russians and Chinese people being extremely racist against black people despite never meeting one in their entire lives or something like that.
>>2848818
NTA
I really don't think my family would be incredibly shocked if I trooned out. They've asked if I was gay tons of times when I was younger, my sisters kept joking that I act more like a girl than they do, multiple girls I've dated have said that I was the woman in the relationship, my family and friends have seen my crossdress and wear makeup multiple times, all kinds of things like that.
>>28488466
Shave, holy shit, having a beard is going to make you feel worse about yourself. I really don't think you're that bad off in the face department.
>>
>>28488493

>Shave, holy shit, having a beard is going to make you feel worse about yourself
It's just hair. You have a very weak mind if you can't handle a little bit of hair.
>I really don't think you're that bad off in the face department.
You haven't seen me smile :)
>>
>>28488522
Every little thing adds up and can change how you feel about yourself and how you look at yourself. Just shave, you'll feel way better. There's no reason to make yourself more miserable like that. Take a razor or tweezer to the unibrow area too and clean up any edges of your brows. Style your hair some. For real, just like do stuff like that, you'll feel so much better. I'm willing to bet you cringe a little every time you look at your body hair and you prefer to cover yourself up so you don't have to look at it. Shave that off too, you'll feel better. Do what you can to be comfortable in your own body.
>>
>>28488585
Too much effort. If I'm going to repress I deserve to be as masculine looking as I possibly can. If I'm going to put in the effort to make myself look less masculine, at that point I should transition. But I'm not going to transition into a woman, because a man can never become a woman. So I might as well present masculine, shaving is me just trying to deny my innate male nature.
>>
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>>28488610
Growing a beard is feminine. It stems from a desire to cover your shitty jawline. It's peak soi.
>>
>>28488182
he's not that really onto me. I do watch debate stuff, so it is a reasonable excuse as to why I know so much stuff.
also, I'll be dead before long. so it doesn't really matter
>>
>>28488610
Okay, keep being retarded and being disgusted with yourself. It's possible to look so close to a woman that no one can really tell the difference and it's just functionally equivalent to being a woman but you can let your hangups contort your brain with mental gymnastics to keep yourself in the same familiar and miserable place. Never do anything to make your life better, just rot away. Have fun with your life. It will especially be a fun life when you're 47 and this pain only got worse and worse and you feel immense regret and not ever doing anything about it.
>>
>>28488654
In that case since I have a very weak jawline it is the female thing for me to do so I should actually grow it out.
I honestly care less, it's just hair. If you can't handle having some hair on you without having a psychological meltdown, I think it means that you are an extremely weak individual. No point in putting in so much effort every day to shave it when it doesn't even bother me.
>>
>>28488675
>It's possible to look so close to a woman that no one can really tell the difference
Not for hons.


>Never do anything to make your life better, just rot away
Yes I've given up on life. I learned at 13 that I was never going to be happy, I've turned out to be correct 7 years later. I've been miserable for so long that I have decided that life just isn't worth it for me. I'm not meant to be happy and I never will, I only exist to rot and suffer. There's no point in doing but lying down until I finally meet the mercy of death.


>It will especially be a fun life when you're 47 and this pain only got worse and worse and you feel immense regret and not ever doing anything about it.
I probably won't make it that far, but even if I do, I'll realize that it couldn't have been any other way.
>>
>>28483240
wtf is that animal a bear? its extremely cute. worth getting mama bear'd for 100%

not american but if i was im pretty sure id be a tranny rn so no thanksgiving but im thankful im not a tranny cos id have roped.
>>
tfw detrans repper
>>
>>28488783
the only ones ive seen make it have been detrans. good luck
>>
>>28488802
did all the others rope?
for some reason I often dont care about trooning but sometimes get hit with the desire
>>
>>28488751
Also there is no point in transitioning when my parents will hate me for it. The only people who love me are transphobic conservatives so I doubt they will love me if they realize that I am a woman. If I transition, I might have zero people who love me. I'm completely unlovable because of my degnerate subhuman nature, so I will never have a friend or a person who loves and cares about me ever again. I will be alone for life.
>>
>>28488879
nah that's too definitive of an action for a repper. i just mean make it as in rid themselves of tranny brain and thinking about this stuff 24/7 and actually go live a normal life
>>
>>28488890
But they still rep to the grave? If so that is a success.
>>
>>28488881
Stop reading shit like pol and r9k and go outside, you're rotting your brain
>>
>>28488899
its not even repping if they kill the desire. they just beat it somehow
>>
>>28488783
Was it just because you had no chance of passing?
>>
>>28488926
Going outside and everyone will see a male walking :D
Being a man is what I was born as, and I always will be. I can get a female pregant, can man do that, I don't think so. I am meant to be male
>>
>>28488955
You're going to end up being miserable for a while longer and then probably kill yourself if you keep going the way you're going. Get away from this place and everything like it, it's rotting your brain, work on thinking more positively and seeing things in a better and softer light, and start taking better care of yourself. I really don't think things are going to work out well for you if you don't.
>>
So what's the deal with groomers? Is it their fetish? Anyway, who else ultra giga ribcage here? Who else bad acne scars?
>>
>>28489077
>You're going to end up being miserable for a while longer and then probably kill yourself
I really hope so. I hope I get so miserable to the point where I cannot help myself but end my own life. I don't want to stick around being a subhuman for the next 50 years, I'd rather die so that it can end early.
>Get away from this place and everything like it, it's rotting your brain
I heard that once you're on here, you're here forever. You never leave.
>I really don't think things are going to work out well for you if you don't.
I have never had a single good day in 7 years. Things have never worked out for me and they never will. I've accepted that I'm just meant to be a subhuman loser. I just have to wait until my next life so that I get a better roll of the dice. I just landed an extremely terrible dice roll. I even was told lately that God actually hates me. I just have to wait until I finally meet the mercy of death.
>>
>>28489088
>who else ultra giga ribcage here?
me
>Who else bad acne scars?
me
kill me please
>>
>>28488466
I seriously don't understand how people claim to want to be women and then go and grow a fucking beard
>>28488779
Its a mink
>>
is selective muting a feminine condition? is it even a legit condition?
>>
>>28488783
im a detrans repper too, i had a psychotic episode a year ago where i basically went all 'ill do this and if it doesnt work ill kill myself' here i am a year later detrooning and definitely not gonna kill myself ahahahhaha
>>
>>28492454
lmao
quick run down of everything tran related / your experience? pls
>>
>>28492564
basically i think i formed a fucked up identity as a teenager by being too gay and having groomers praise me for being pretty, which made me want to be feminine. then i go through puberty and all this femininity i was praised for and i idealized is ripped from me, so i am disgusted by my masculinity and i start to wonder if i would be better off transitioning like so many other ppl i know and knew. FF to my mid 20s and i know so many trans people and I am seethingly jealous of them for being feminine while i am just an aged 'twink' that really just looks like a man. I was really suicidal at this point so I ordered hormones. The issue with it is that I don't have a female identity, as much as I hate my own masculinity I was never really trans, I'm just a gay male with an unhealthy attachment to being feminine, so I will never be comfortable growing boobs and having my dick not work. As much as I was glad to have less body hair and a more feminine face and my hairline coming back. It's just not worth it. I'm trying to imagine myself in 10 years in my mid 30s, Do I want to be a soft skinned eunuch with boobs or do I just want to be an asexual man. I figure it's a lot easier to sacrifice my sexuality than my gender in the long run so that is what I want to do. I would definitely have more self-respect if I managed to stay a man without desperately clinging onto how groomers made me feel when I was 13.
>>
>>28493468
>just find a bf as a masculinized man covered in hair

no thanks i can only be gay if i look feminine. im a stoic asexual monkmode chad now.
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>>28493479
that just sounds like internalized self-shame for being gay
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>>28493468
you're close but so far. i think its mostly brainwashed straight men
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>>28493497
no its disgust towards my body, i was never really gay in the sense of wanting to be a man and get fucked by another man. without femininity its all ruined.
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>>28488466
you look like a pooner
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>>28493468
Im trying,.but the thought of making a poor man be intimate with my grotesque body is just wrong
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>>28491396
>I seriously don't understand how people claim to want to be women and then go and grow a fucking beard
It's just hair. I just have to accept my male nature. I will always be a dude and I just have to accept that.
>>
is it possible to become a healthy repper?
>>
>>28495263
I wish
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unmm repbros?
>>
>>28495263
yeah but if ur posting in this thread you arent healthily repping, you shouldnt even think about trans stuff. i think its possible 100% but you have to actually try to be a man and not just rot.
>>
>>28495263
>>28495964
I wish. I'm like hanging on by a thread but I wouldn't call it healthy. I really don't think it's possible. I feel half alive usually, get really suicidal, and the only way I can hold on mentally is doing enough drugs to be numb. I am honestly about to just transition, this is a horrible way to live.
>>
Is there a point of no return? I was repping fine when I wasn’t really aware i was somehow. Like I looked up transition multiple times and wanted to and would obsessively watch timelines when I was younger but it never felt like something I could do so it didn’t feel real. It felt like wishing for the impossible.
But something changed, I went too deep and now it’s at the forefront of my mind 24/7.
>>
>>28497041
I think there might be something kind of like that. I've been like this since I was a kid, just wishing I was a girl all of the time, hating the fact that I was a boy, stuff like that. I even remember posting online anonymously talking about how I thought I was trans and stuff like in grade school but I didn't do anything about it. I was too scared and didn't know I could actually look like a woman. I've had flashes where I almost ordered HRT a few times like in my early 20's but talked myself out of it telling myself that it's an insane idea. I really didn't think I could pass or anything and I got like really nihilistic and was abusing drugs big time and telling myself that it doesn't really even matter anyways. I'm approaching the end of my 20's now, and like a year ago, something in my brain snapped really bad. All of the denial started falling away and I could just admit it to myself, admit what I am. I was really scared and uncomfortable for a while, but the idea started settling in and feeling more okay. Instead of feeling like transitioning was something that other people did and wasn't something I would ever do, it started to feel like something I could do, something I would do. I haven't really been able to push it back to the background again, I think about it a ton every single day and it feels kind of inevitable now. I kind of wish I could go back, now there's just a constant pressure in my mind telling me that I need to go transition and live as a woman instead. I actually kind of think I can pass now too and feel better about myself, and that is only making it even more tempting. I really don't think I can live as a man for that much longer, it's just such an intense pressure and I can't go back to how it used to be
>>
>>28497736
yeah that is exactly what i meant. i relate to like everything you said except the passing potential and feeling better about yourself im going the opposite direction lol ;-; its the only thing that stopped me many times
>>
>>28497776
Yeah... I don't think we're alone in it either, I've heard tons of trans girls say that something in them snapped and after that they felt like they could transition, that they had to transition. They couldn't stop thinking about it and it drove them mad.
I had a phase where like I didn't give a shit about my appearance and I felt totally dissociated and like it didn't matter and stuff but I've cleaned myself up and allowed myself to be at least a little more feminine, like staying clean shaven, growing my hair out, shaping my eyebrows, shaving body hair, acting how I want without caring what people think, wearing makeup and women's clothes in front of other people sometimes, stuff like that. It's all made me feel more comfortable and made me feel better about myself and like I'd maybe have some kind of chance at passing. I definitely do have my masculine features and stuff but maybe I'll be okay. I have to hold onto hope that I'll be okay. When like I give up and feel like there's no way I'll ever pass and just think that I'll live the rest of my life as a man, it makes me want to die and it makes me feel sick. I don't think I can go another year without getting on hormones.
>>
bumb :DD
>>
why can't you just live an alternative crossdressing lifestyle presenting female 24/7 few days a year makes me nuts
>>
>>28499381
Kinda wish you could get away with it without funny looks and getting slurs yelled at you but you kinda can't. I've done it before though, but in a more accepting environment, so no one really said anything besides saying that I looked good. Just like wearing makeup and women's clothes isn't good enough for me though, I'd rather be a woman than that, even if I was stuck with men's fashion and no makeup. Honestly really tired of repressing.
>>28492698
Yeah, that's way different than my experience. My gender felt wrong before I even had a sexuality, like when I was a little kid. I didn't want to be a boy and I wished I could be a girl instead. I think the one thing we do have in common is disgust with looking masculine but I think probably the specifics of how we feel it and why we feel it are different.
>>28493468
It would be cool if I could make it go away and be okay with living as a man, but it's too deep inside, I've been like this forever, like as long as I can remember I always wanted to be a girl instead. I wish I was just brainwashed and that I could shake it off but I think I was born this way and I can't get rid of it and my options are either just live as a man and keep trying to cope forever, or live as a tranny instead.
>>
>being a man feels like im a fraud
>pretending to be a woman feels like a fraud
It's all so tiring
>>
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>>28488654
>mfw I used to do it to cover my Chad jaw
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>>28499954
yeah you sound trutrans to me, one of my biggest self doubts is knowing that my fucked up identity is because of basically child abuse and really i just need therapy to accept that what i want is not possible and not my true identity and it shouldnt be.
>>
>>28488466
Give shaving a try, the rest of your features are super soft. You have cheeks, yours eyes aren't hooded, round pink lips, your jaw isn't particularly prominent. If you think you're trans it's worth asking someone to give you a feminine make up, just to have an idea of what you might look like.
The second best time to troon out is now
>>
>>28500699
>If you think you're trans it's worth asking someone to give you a feminine make up
I never go outside and I don't have any friends, I also still live with my parents. I don't know anyone in my life who could help give me a feminine makeover. The best I know is I'm pretty sure one of my college classmates is a trans girl. Maybe I can get her to help me? I don't know.
>The second best time to troon out is now
I don't know how to do this. I'm so depressed and my ADHD is so severe I struggle to maintain even a simple job. I can't even drive because I'm pretty confident I'll get into an accident and kill people because I'm extremely innattentive. I know I'm making excuses and maybe I shouldn't but I seriously don't understand what is wrong with me. I saved up like 800$ though. I tried ordering off of HRT.cafe but I gave up realizing that I needed a non-photo I.D. for a P.O. Box. I'm not sure how long I can order HRT for as well without needing a new job.
>>
>>28500050
Yeah, it sucks either way, everything feels like playing pretend. Maybe I'll just transition and try to live as a woman and see if it feels less fake or just better than living as a man.
>>28500609
I feel like realistically I probably am since I've been like this forever but I still can't help feeling like a fraud and stuff I guess. It really sucks that that happened to you, having your identify fucked up like that would be hard.
>>28500588
I don't know if it's just like body dysmorphia or what but it kind of feels like I have some extremely Chad features, like a sharp square jaw and defined chin and stuff. I have seen some Chad to Stacy timelines though, like hot features mostly transfer across sexes, and like anything that's too masc after HRT I could get shaved down and hopefully look okay.
>>
>>28500830
You have to just try. Start somewhere or you're going to stay where you are and rot. Maybe try to get a job first, then try to meet some people and make friends. Like, seriously, do something. Forward progress. Every little step forward will make you feel more confident to take another. Stagnation like that feels really bad and you're going to feel so lame and worthless and just dead inside. You gotta get out and live life, you'll feel so much better
>>
my sex drive has come back and im jerking it to disgusting porn again. the joys of being a man.
>>
>>28501038
I hate having a male sex drive, it makes me feel disgusting. At least I'm addicted to opioids so I don't really have a sex drive
>>
>>28501038
Bro just close the tab like just stop touching your dick seriously there are plenty of men who aren’t addicted to porn you have no one to blame but yourself
>>
I wish I had a boyfriend to cuddle and watch movies with....
>>
>>28497041
>>28497736
I had a similar experience
I always knew I wanted to be a girl since young. I came really close to ordering hrt a couple times around 18-20, but I decided not to, and that it was too much of a risk
I never consciously thought "I'm trans" until right before I turned 26, and I guess being at the second half of my 20s made something click and I realized I was obviously trans and ordered hrt online the next day.
I think it could have been a lot earlier, but the only experience I had with trans people as a teenager was porn. Obviously I talked to people here, but I can count on one hand the number of trans people I've talked to in person. There were a couple boomerhons in the town I grew up in. I think it would have been a lot different if I had a conversation with a trans woman when I was 19 or something.
>>
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does anyone else hear really like the smashing pumpkins? particularly gish, ive liked the band for as long as ive known of them but gish is really rubbing me the right way lately
>>
>>28487791
good question
ill ask anima that one eventually when shes not feeling quite so tortured

>>28488367
take a step back and look at yourself fren. you know the answer you just cant bring yourself to accept it. seek wholeness.

>>28488451
question is, why are you floating there?

>>28497041
your brain isnt simply going to let you become unaware of something once it becomes concious of it. you can dull yourself, distract yourself, but itll always be there from now on. the idea is branded in you, the connection established.

>>28500050
fixed identity is a kind of fraud. theres no reality to the social identity beyond necessity and that little bit of inner self you allow into your external identity.
>>
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well? What CANT you do as a gay man that hrt magically enables you to do?
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>>28503038
female orgasms
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>>28503038
carry on
>>
>>28502412
Same
>>
>>28503040
Literally honscience disproven time and time again, dick orgasms feel like shot and butt orgasms are next to impossible on hrt due to prostate shrinkage
>>
>>28500919
I definitely don't have BDD lol. Do you want me to post pics?
>>
I am turning 24 tomorrow.
It's so over.
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>>28504617
lol im 26 for me it was over at 13 and i can assure you it was over for you pre 18 aswell
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>>28483240
You give up your future happiness to maintain a relationship with a toxic, hateful parent

Win win!!
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>>28504787
Yeah it was over for me too... But still. 24 man....
>>
>>28504954
Every year after its over doesn't matter, its just a number
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>>28504617
i had this breakdown and 23/24 and it was also around when i had to start shaving everyday and would get prickly hairs by the end of the day or the next day and it was truly over for hip stuff too
>>
>>28503038
live life as a woman.
its not able any single action, it's about living as a woman.

>>28504831
I made the decision regardless of my parents. happiness was never an option for me
>>
>>28505055
I hate being one year closer to being an old man.
>>28505294
It is, indeed, over.
>>
I don't want to be an old man
I don't want to be an old man
I don't want to be an old man
I don't want to be an old man
I don't want to be an old man
Please help me aaaaaaaaaaaaaa
>>
I feel like I only repress as a form of self harm. Like I do a lot of things I know are going to make me feel bad because I like to sh and because I feel like I'm not in control of myself,like I'm on autopilot.
>>
>>28504617
Ayo I remembered this place being full of 25/30+ y.o reppers. What happened to those old farts?
>>
>>28507444
everyone troons out eventually
>>
>>28507444
I'm the 24 yo and i've been here since I was 19.
>>
morning
>>
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>the horrific, real-life thoughts start to return after you finish a video game/show/anime/whatever
Does anyone else just continuously indulge in escapist media to avoid feeling anything?
Is there a healthier alternative?
>>
>>28508795
idk, if there's a healthier alternative for me. but yea, I do that. and if I'm too depressed to even watch/play/etc something, I usually just go to sleep to waste time
>>
>>28508795
its been my primary method of control in order to get through shitty situations for some time. live though a window, either my own or in a screen.
>>
>>28501206
nah i have to its a coping mechanism.
>>
>>28503433
is the shrinkage permanent
>>
>>28508837
Poor anon. Doesn't excessive sleeping lead to headaches, body sores, and other bad shit?
>>
>>28509392
headaches, yea, idk about the other stuff. but when I'm just so emotionally drained, I just have to sleep. it literally becomes impossible to even play a game when I'm at that point.
>>
>>28509190
Probably gonna be back to normal a couple months off of hrt
>>
>>28503433
I think "female orgasm" is real, but it's just an AGP overload.
>>
>>28509651
Its literally a meme, a prostate orgasm gets you that whole body feel, anyone who says they get it from their dick is lying, there literally was a thread with hons complaining about it a couple of days ago
>>
>>28509685
AGP overload can make you feel quite strange.
>>
i wish i wasn't a disgusting fat fucking ugly abomination
>>
>>28510902
Then work on it instead of only seething about it
>>
>tranners make thread about my thread header
>calling me "she" and shit
>saying how I should troon and shit.
I hate them so much. they assume so much shit.
like that I could ever pass or anything.
>>
Thread reminder

Never Troon
Repress forever
If hrt doesn't work for you it will crush you
No hope is better then false hope
You won't feel better looking like a man with slightly nicer skin
You will not feel better on midling hrt rffeta for years whpassoids gaslight you and assume you are doing hrt wrong or someshit because they got lucky
Only the lucky few post here, chances are you won't be lucky you will be miserable and suicidal still
Life isn't fair the world hates you and wants you to die it never gets any better ever
There is no hope
>>
>>28511359
Aren't you like a bdd passoid ? If my memory is correct im pretty sure you are
>>
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>>28511376
Do I look like I pass?

Don't believe the lies and repress
>>
>>28511359
>>28511407
detrans then
you won't
your actions advocate transition
>>
>>28511407
No sorry, must've mistaken you for someone else. So are you detrans?
>>
>>28511407
i wish i looked at least this cute
>>
>>28511503
Proof u don't?
>>
>>28511417
>>28511437
Here's how it works

If you repress you don't get any false hope and you stay an acceptable level of miserable

If you ""transition"" like me you go on hrt and it doesn't do much you go oh maybe my levels are bad you check them they are fine it takes a few months you start checking everything else maybe pills are bad swap to injections, maybe it needs more time wait another few months maybe it's something weird like e1 or dht check them nope it's fine. Hrt is doing anything trans girls that started before you are surpassing you in effects HRTis doing somethingyou have shit cone tits and softer skin but no where near enough only enough to drip feed you false hope maybe it will get better maybe something is wrong with my hrt and if I fix it it will get better maybe if I wait longer

Nope you realize you are fucked wasted all your time and are just as miserable by now you have already come out to people are still dysphoric as fuck and like the pitiful changes you have gotten so will never stop taking hrt you fall into despair and kill yourself because you will be in the same situation but worse if you detrans you should have just repressed

Wich option sounds better to you? I'm stuck in option 2
>>
>>28511540
my reflection
>>
>>28511407
From the posts ITT you'd think reppers were all balding gorilla cavemen, but this just looks like a kid
>>
>>28511551
they aren't a repper.
I am a balding (norwood 3) gorilla caveman
>>
>>28511548
Post pic
>>28511551
>balding gorilla cavemen
Hey thats me ^^
>>
>>28511551
I'm 9 months hrt failed tranny

I'm saying tepping is the better option
>>
i feel so fucking bad, i dont want to be a woman. i just really really dont want to be a man. ill never have a relationship or be loved by anybody like this. im not good enough for women and im not attracted to them anyway, and men will never like me cause im gross and masculine. everyone around me rubs sex and affection in my face 24/7 and ill never have any of it.
>>
>>28511606
*repping
>>
>>28511608
literally me
>>
>>28511608
>>28511627
Date a repper, problem fixed
>>
>>28511579
i was trying to take a picture of myself but it hurt too much to see my face and i want to cry now, sorry
>>
>>28511606
9 months is still babytrans, also you don't get to call yourself failed before FFS
>>
>>28511734
Yeah gonna cost me an extra 15k in travel expenses there and back 2X for consultation + surgery on top of the 40k for the surgery itself paid out of pocket after a year long wait for something that might not even work while absolutely miserable

Sick sounds dope
>>
>>28511795
Why is everyone besides ayden and alienor being retarded and overpaying for surgery when you get even better quality than ft for sub 15k?
>>
>>28511885
OK post surgeon reccomendations
Everyone has raised prices substantially
>>
>>28511908
Lachiver in france ayden got full ffs for 12k recently, the other one being slustkaya/facemaker in armenia which is FT type so you need to tell her if you want more aggressive work, and is also sub 12k. Mexico you can do 20k with cardenas or 20k in Argentina with rossi, theres also a bunch of penny surgeons in colombia like 5k. Personally if i troon im going with slutskaya or lachiver.
>>
>>28511984
NTA but why does everyone here only seem to focus on/go to the expensive ones like FT or DB?
>>
>>28512057
Results and experience when it's your face on the line you don't want it botched
>>
>>28512057
Because its cool to say you paid 150k for ffs with db or keo, ft i think is just good marketing and they accept american insurance yet their results are subpar for the price
>>
>>28507444
I am slowly weening off tttt and learn productive things I enjoy instead
>>
one nice thing once I'm gone is that my family will have 0 photos of me as a man. since I always hated having my photo taken, I unironically think the last photo they probably have of me is when I was a really really young child (like <10yo)
>>
>>28511551
when ACTUAL masc reppers get posted they get non-stop ridiculed and told to repress, the only people posting selfies in repgen are narcissistic midshits looking for affirmation.
>>
>>28514454
I'm not a repper I dont fucking pass and never will I don't even look close 3 months Into hrt on a non hondose everyone ends up mogging me it doesn't even matter the starting point its like oh you look like a young guy bu still 100% cothey male and d9nt even l9ok like you are on hrt

Meanwhile everyone else even if you look ugly as sin ends up looking like an ugly woman at least not a fucking young man
>>
>>28514492
Fuck I typed to quickly I look CIS MALE not even trans fuck YOU
>>
>>28511543
I respect your honesty
>>
i just keep fucking eating like a pig why does my brain make me do this. on one hand being a fatfuck helps me dissociate but god damn why am i like this. the only time i felt hopeful enough to lose all of it was the hrt honeymoon period where things feel like they're gonna work out. no idea how im gonna live as a repper. wish my suicide attempt didn't fall through.

>>28511608
masc4masc relationships are very much a thing so wtf are you on about
>>
>>28511543
Don't forget that after you complain about HRT not working after years, people berate you and say it's your fault for not learning hair/makeup/voice training, basically moving the goalpost and claiming "you didn't try hard enough"
>>
>>28514684
i just ate like 5 slices of cake
>>
>>28514961
i had 3000 calories worth of fast food at like 3 AM
ordered it in my drunken despair and my stomach has been fucked up all day
>>
>>28514896
Well if I make it that far in I'm sure it will happen to me as well

I wish I could turn back time and just try to tough it out and double down on gym
>>
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>>28514976
i've been there
>>
guys I am depressed as fuck, I figured out I will probably kms eventually because of this shit.
I have a decent life, everything works for me.
except this. I cannot transition, ever, too many people depend on me and it would ruin their lifes if I did.
I just dont wanna be a john50 ever. I rather kms. so thats when I figured out thats my only way out once it gets too bad.

so hows your sunday?
>>
>>28483240
Im attracted to men but does anyone else find women objectively more attractive? Maybe it's dysphoria but men seem ugly to me objectively. Like, a girl version of me would be a lot more attractive.
>>
>>28515826
nah thats just objectivly true.
I feel the same way, I am sexually and mentally attracted to men but women are just physically more attractive.
>>
>>28515837
It makes me seethe so much. Females considered "ugly" will mog any ugly male.
>>
>>28515796
wouldn't it ruin their lives if you did that too?
>>
>>28515887
not as much, I think. imagine growing up and your dad trooned out..
but it would not be great for them, so I try to keep going as long as I can.
todays just a really bad day. I want the pain to stop already.
>>
>>28515796
>>28515970
nta, but if you have kids ur raising, I think thats one of those scenarios where you have to stick it out for them. almost any other situation/relationship/dependency isn't are requiring. but if you have kids, I think you really need to do the best you can for them
>>
>>28515992
yea I will.
as long as I can at least. coming to the realisation that one day the pain will be unbearable and I will just end it and not see the people I love anymore is just a bit much you know.
>>
>>28515826
I find pretty twinks to be the most attractive but yeah, I'd say the average woman is more attractive than the average guy just because they care more about their appearances
>>
did your dysphoria manifest itself in any way while you were a kid?
i think i had a huge aversion to anything girly especially in front of other people, i think because i got bullied a lot. i'd see a pic of toddler me wearing a little hairpin and would cry.
>>
>>28516162
internally yea, def. but I guess like you, I got bullied/harassed/reprimanded out of it
>>
>>28516162
>did your dysphoria manifest itself in any way while you were a kid?
I was a very weird and girly boy. It was literally beaten out of me when I was younger, by relatives and other kids at school. I repressed any not "normal" desire and thought I had till it was too late.
>>
>>28516162
i literally wasn't even allowed to wear open toed shoes because my family would bully me and call me a faggot for wearing them
were they right?
>>
>>28503038
wear dresses in public
>>
>>28516162
It didn't, I don't have real dysphoria but the meme kind you get from years of seeing men and women being treated differently post-puberty

Kid me was a shy wimp, but he was still fine with being a boy and thought girls were dumb
>>
>>28516285
odd, I was always hanging out with the girls before they decided that boys are gross and did not allow me to.
I had my first crush on a boy in kindergarten and told my grandma and she kept making fun of me for it till she died. everyone else just kept beating the shit out of me for it.
so maybe I was a lost cause from the beginning.
>>
>>28515826
>>28515837
>>28515854
extremely androgynous males > women >>>>>>>> normal/realistic men
>>
>>28516299
Loath as I am to bring up Blanchard, the fucker was definitely onto something. There's got to be a reason why some people manifest these feelings as early as 5 while others are basically regular dudes up until a certain point much later in life
>>
>>28516395
I was also always really weak, short and small for a boy. Man this sucks so much..
I read about a hormonal problem in pregnancy that can do that maybe?
My mom was on the pill when she was pregnant with me. maybe that played into it? or I just got the faggot genes.
>>
i'm just a fucking fraud
>>
>>28516453
why are you saying that brother?
>>
>>28516485
because i'm just a fucking waste of oxygen honestly, i'm not trans, i'm not anything, i'm just a fucking failure and i should never have been born
>>
>>28516527
yea me too man, me too.
I know I am probably trans but it doesnt matter since I wont transition.
no one asked to be born into the lifes we get, we just gotta make the best of it. even if it sucks at times, as long as there are good things sometimes we keep on going.
>>
>>28516162
Idk when i was 4-5 my 2 f cousins gave me one of their skirts and we pranced around their living room and i was happy af and then my dad and uncle came in and mocked the crap out of me. Ever since that day i avoided anything remotely feminine until last year including girls lol
>>
>>28515781
oddly enough i find some strange comfort in being irredeemably disgusting
being so far removed from what i want to be that i don't think about it at all
>>
>>28516600
thanks, I guess I'm glad to be able to enjoy the good things in my life too
>>
>be suicidal, dysphoric, everything in between
>talking to dad who now knows
>blames video games

i can't. what was the thought process here. who the fuck thinks it's a good idea to boil as complex an issue as this into something so trivial.
surely it has nothing to do with your berating my every action and genuine emotion on top of being absent, spend some more time wondering why i hate being around you and i hope you blame yourself deep down. patronizing ass bitch. no wonder mom divorced your ass.
>>
>>28516958
oh no anon, its clearly video games.
never felt I more feminine than when playing Arma or Call of Duty.
>>
>>28517000
>dad found the factorio estrogen fabricator
owo
>>
>>28517032
oh thats what everyones doing there, gotcha.
maybe I should check it out myself.
>>
>play game
>hear trans girl on vc
>want to kill myself now
>>
The creeping realization you are becoming one of the boomers who's TG erotica you read when you were 12.
>>
>>28517000
>arma
nothin more fembrained than being the sole medic getting shouted at by middle aged men tohelp them
>>
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>>28517424
>playing medic.
n-no guys I'm not a fag I just like it okay!
>>
>>28517433
as a true malebrained tranny i only play LAT/transport pilot/CAS
>>
>>28517449
as a truly fembrained male I play whatever my friends want and never confront them if they mistreat me.
>>
Seems like I'm the most malebrained here, exclusively playing strategy games.
>>
true fembrained is not playing any games except "games" on your mobile phone
>>
Bump
>>
wish I had some bumps.
>>
>>28484329
>/repgen/ is wrong, reaching out to friends family and therapists to deal with your mental illness is the correct way forward.


have tried tharapy more times then i care to count, every time they just shrug and act like they cant help me, there is no escape other then death at this point, but hey keep pushing people to a system that hates them and dont want to help them im sure that will fix this
>>
>>28484329
>reaching out to friends family
i'm gonna stop you right there chief
this was the worst mistake i have ever made in my life and i have been regretting it ever since
>>
>>28520958
>>28520976
I can relate to both of your experiences as mine were similar.
It annoys me when someone says "oh just come out people are so open minded these days." when they have no idea in what circumstances we are. people are not open minded everywhere and to everyone.
>>
it hurts but im grinding
>>
anyone here managed to gymrep? how did it work out for you?
every time i'll build up a good habit for about 2-3 months and inevitably will have a "what's even the point" moment after which it quickly falls apart and i gain back 40lb
>>
>>28521395
I tried gym a few times, but I disliked it.
>>
>>28521395
tried gym a bunch, gaining too much muscle feels incredibly bad somehow. dysphoria maybe?
>>
>>28521395
for me, it was bad for 2 reasons, 1. I have arthritis, so it was kinda painful for me. but the thing that ended it for me 2. seeing myself get bigger, veins popping, etc. made me feels absolutely horrendous. actually, kinda sadly, I reacted so badly to it that I'm actually pretty fat now
>>
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>>28521395
Being bulky sucks ass and hurts my geriatric knees, good thing is you dont need hrt to burn muscle
~80kg left, 64kg right
>>
>>28521626
what the fucks keeping you repressing?!
>>
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How do you silence the thoughts that go
>maybe you could be saved thru weight cycling + FFS? you never know
>look at this timeline, if this beefy army veteran/weightlifter could make it, maybe you could too?
>you're gonna crack at 50 anyways so why not get a headstart?
>>
>>28522092
>How do you silence the thoughts
A mirror
>>
>>28522092
>you're gonna crack at 50 anyways so why not get a headstart?
Just a stupid meme
>>
>>28521666
Hello Satan
>Slav
>Old
>Wasted last 2 years neeting due to depression/anxiety
>Linebacker
>Horrible manface
>Terminal indecisiveness
>>
When I played secondlife I didn't feel the need to cd irl don't know why
>>
I hate when I talk on here and tranners say I seem like I'd be cute/my interests pass, or other shit. and here I am sitting, an ugly orc of a man. someone who, no matter what they do, can never become a woman
>>
>>28522380
Same kek.
>>
> be me
> dad left ages ago
> mom is single
> whole family is conservative and christian
> have to get away from them to be myself
> feel guilty about leaving mom alone
> think about killing myself
> feel guilty about leaving mom alone
> mfw there's no escape from the pain
>>
morning
>>
Take your pills retards you will never be men
>>
>>28523214
I can literally only ever be a man. being a woman is literally not an option for me. if I took hrt, got ffs, got voice feminization surgery, etc. I'd still be a man. no one would ever even think twice
>>
>>28523424
You will never be a man you will always be a tranny
>>
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>>28522834
Good morning sir!
>>
>>28523531
I wish I was a borderline retarded indian man hanging out and making tiktoks with my bros, at least I wouldn't be suffering like I am now
>>
>>28523506
I haven't transitioned. I am just a man with dysphoria.
also
>will always look like a man
>will always be treated like a man
It just really isn't an option for me
>>
>>28523558
>ywn be a plan-looking Indian middle class young woman in a Sari, posting on social medias about her great butter chicken recipe.
Why even live?
>>
>>28517208
Tranny voices make me despair. Even if their body passes, it's always the voice of a nasally teenage boy. What's the point of trying so hard if you're just going to sound fake?
>>
>>28523942
so fucking true
if i can't get an actual adult female voice, even a deeper one, then i'll stick with my manvoice
>>
>>28523596
>I am just a man with dysphoria
that means you're a tranny
>>
>>28524194
but not totally. cause in almost every area in my life, I live as a man. and trans means transition. which I haven't done.
like, other than experiencing dysphoria. no one would see me as anything other than a man
>>
hi
>>
h-hello?
>>
penis
>>
repbros... i think i'm gonna call my therapist and talk about getting hrt
don't think i can cope anymore, was doing """fine""" for a while but i've been posting non-stop for the last week and a half...
>>
>>28523558
You haven't seen that video of two Indian trannies with literal axe wounds living in a shitshack?
>>
>be me
>Go psychotic
>First delusion that I needed to chop off my dick
>Used rep powers to stop myself
>In psych ward think about starting a race of hermaphrodites
>Get taken home think about becoming a princess almost yell at my grandma "I AM A WOMAN!"
>Repress more to stop myself

I'm still not trans tho
>>
>>28527120
Which would you rather hear? "Good luck" or "You'll be back"?
>>
>>28528067
realistically i won't even leave
i just objectively function better on e (already was on it for 8 months before)
tried to make repping work out of courtesy for my family which rejected me
>>
>>28488673
Then why even bothering with talking here since you already planned to disappear in some years, people willing to listen to you aren't disposable trash.
>>
>>28529949
I just kinda always saw it as to live mostly normally until then. like, I was never self destructive.
but kind of a good point. I guess I will stop talking on places like this. cause I guess yea, at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter.
>>
bros I'm a feminine man, and I feel like the line between feminine man and tranny is like really thin. Why should I just stay a feminine man, and not troon out, my desire to troon out stems from the fact that my male relatives look like gorillas and I don't think I can sustain this into old age. Thoughts?
>>
>>28530498
> line between feminine man and tranny is like really thin.

i go back and forth on this. i think trooning is about wanting to be a woman, whereas femininity is just an aesthetic. but then again its impossible to be feminine as a man past the age of like 23 so i guess the only option is chemical castration but how the fuck is that a solution FUCK
>>
>>28530559
kellin quinn, and gerard way pull it off, but I really think they are both just genetically lucky.
>>
>>28530559
like for example, both have long hair, both act effeminate, both shave their face like crazy.
>>
>>28530559
are you ok with having a male sexuality? cause i sure as shit ain't. hate it, causes nothing but problems for me.
i think that should be the line for wanting to troon. if you're ok with nixing your male sex drive go for it.
>>
>>28530680
I honestly think I'd do more with my life if I didn't have a male sexuality.
>>
>>28530701
i was definitely more focused and productive without it. took care of myself better too. didn't have these shitty momentary wiles fucking with my head like they have been since my T went back up.
no fucking wonder bitches going through menopause lose their mind.
>>
>>28530680
NTA but what do you mean by male sexuality?
>>
>>28530787
not that anon but I'm guessing the desire to cum and fuck everything around you.
>>
>>28530787
the way you experience attraction and any other such sexual feelings.

>>28530792
not necessarily, idk it's hard to put into words. man horny and woman horny are just different.
the incongruity i feel while on T has always manifested in the weirdest, borderline distressing ways if i'm hardcore repressing. it's what caused my mental breakdown that led me to DIY.
>>
are older feminine men just trannies who didn't know and just pushed their physical body to it's limits?
>>
Anyone considering themselves "le feminine man" shouldn't be allowed to post on this gen.
>>
>>28531157
this, only non feminine masculine gigachads should be allowed to post here
>>
>>28531157
thank god I am just an extremly ugly man instead of a feminine man. I used to be a very feminine boy though.
>>
i wish i could replace my head with a non disgusting looking one
>>
>>28531548
I wish I could restart on life with my current knowledge..
>>
I wish I could become a cute brown little girl.
>>
this>>28531560
would lead to this>>28531691
>>
>>28531743
Nah, I'd want to be a cis girl, and if I were born today with all of my knowledge I still wouldn't troon as my family would never let me.
>>
>>28531823
for me, I mean.
I would prefer to be cis for sure, but if I had to be born again I would prefer to troon out and get far away from my family before I do.
and NEVER follow any advice anyone in my family ever given me.
>>
I'm going to block /tttt/
I realized that this just isn't good for me. seeing people discover that they're trans, moving forward, and passing. over and over, while I'm stuck extremely masculine is really hard to watch
>>
I have /tttt/ brainrot
The nigga sitting across from me right now looks like a trip from here and getting paranoid for no reason
>>
I finally am having my first interview after applying for a while. it isn't much, but hopefully it's enough to move out
>>
>>28534029
Luckyy, i hope you get it. I feel like its impossible to get a job at this point
>>
>>28534101
tnx
yea, I got a degree and everything, but have had to start looking at minimum wage jobs, and I got one interview before, was turned down, and this is the first response I have received in months
>>
Can you smuggle HRT into prison if you end up becoming a bitch to well connected guy
I'm not going to one just think a lot about being institutionalised, could be great in a way for a crippling autist.
>>
>>28534746
Hot.
>>
>>28530680
Is hating your male sex drive and sexuality because it turned you into a coomer the same as this tho. I wanted it to stop but it’s because I have no will power or self control.
>>
>>28527120
>for the last week and a half...
brother
>>
>>28534798
it's part of it for sure, i don't like jerking it but i feel like i have to get it out of my system to feel halfway normal. takes me in uncomfortable directions if i don't. whereas on e my attraction felt like how i always imagined sexual attraction should feel like, not just an urge that makes me feel like shit every time.

>>28534811
i was clean from this place for a year ok. repped as hard as i could, exercised, socialized, worked, studied, everything anyone ever did to rep and it led me right back here.
can't drown in escapism forever.
>>
Even trannies who I think look good have photos where they look like straight up men. Usually if they're around other women and not in close up you can easily see the male features.

And that's for the best looking trannies. A guy like me has no chance.
>>
every time I think about him it's like someone's stabbed me in the heart
>>
just seen myself in a photo and video. it is so painful too see how i look. god
>>
>>28536643
i wore a slightly feminine sweater and my mom took a picture of me from behind because my shoulders were so comically broad she thought it was funny
>>
>>28537204
Oof, i have a female sweater dress thing, its super comfy but it makes me look like an ifbb pro.
>>
>brain makes you think you have a chance again
>even though you've never looked feminine once in your life even as a teen
why is it so cruel bros...
i can barely crawl out of bed until mid-day most days
need to convince myself i'm just a self-hating gay man and get over this shit somehow
>>
tfw literally only became gay because of porn, like 0.1% of guys are actually attractive so much other guys would be into them and they all just get funnelled into faggotry because its basically infinite attention and adoration. if porn didnt exist i would never have been exposed to these people and never wanted to be like them and wouldnt troon out. my mind is literally destroyed by the internet.
>>
>think you shouldnt troon if you wont girlmode and actually live life
>know i cant
>repress
>time passes
>still think this
>know i would be a shut in
>nearly convince myself to troon sometimes still
brain y
>>
>>28537424
it sounds like you're cocksexual anon. i find all sorts of men attractive.

>>28537426
>troon
>come out to afab friend
>talk about how i hope to pass after a few years
>looks me up and down
>"you don't have to pass"

it was then that i knew it was over
>>
>>28504169
Nah you don't have to post pics on here, it might end bad
>>
>>28537524
now im literally just insanely gay but it all started with me idolizing feminine men. its all the internets fault.
>>
>>28537545
if you say so
only crushes i had were guys, first porno i ever watched i self-inserted as the woman (which was also pregnant lol) it was over from the very beginning.
if only i were born in a place and time where i could've voiced my feelings and not suffer this miserable existence. better yet, go back and flip one little chromosome. cut out the middleman.
>>
>>28506763
Live ephermerally.
>>
>>28537906
No, because I don't want to die either.
>>
>>28537926
Loser
>>
>>28537945
Yes, so?
>>
>>28537970
What, you want to become a GILF?
>>
>>28537993
I'm waiting for the tech that will turn me into a loli.
>>
i want to get a lot of piercings and get tatted up lately
like some rebellion against this body i've been saddled with, make it feel more like my own
>>
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>>28538016
you monster
>>
>>28538050
I think you mean "based", my friend.
>>
>>28483240
Wat is this curious animal
>>
>>28538159
African Milchbear
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>>28538159
goobler
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>>28538159
Mïlchbir, also known as a Knetvilt in Sweden. They're a genetically engineered hybrid of a raccoon and a switz pigmy tiger.
>>
>>28538159
it's like a sable or a mink or something
>>
>>28538239
>>28538300
it seems like a really cool pokemon do u guise know where i can catch one
>>
how come nobody tells us to just accept ourselves for who we are, how come we're all pushed towards transitioning. I wish someone would just tell me I'll be ok and live a fufilling live being a repper. Transitoning is unironically just as scary as repping. Why were we born like this :(
>>
>>28538596
SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY
>>
>>28538596
>>28538649
Theres people telling you you can just be a feminine/gay man all the time
>>
>>28538649
Nothing will change, and you know it. Liberation comes.
>>
>>28538765
I can't look in the mirror without wanting to rope how do I fix that, it's not a matter of just my personality I already am shamelessly honest with myself, but how do I look in the mirror and not hate what I see???
>>
>>28538807
What exactly do you hate about what you're seeing
inb4 all of it ... No, list things you hate most that you can fix and work on fixing them
>>
>>28539003
my hairline is fucked and I hate having beard shadow
>>
>>28539031
Same here and its annoying af that i cant fix it right away, but get on fin asap and save for ht and laser. Im a nw3 monster and shouldnt cost me more than 2-3k to fix it and face laser is like 100 bucks per session or something.
>>
>>28539058
yeah if I fix those two things maybe I can tolerate repping. I went to actual doc irl to troon out, but might bitch out anyways they're giving me finasteride now and I have minox in the mail. Thinking about being crazy and buying an electro machine and doing it myself, I have a lot of free time.
>>
>>28539087
Minox is garbage, dont bother with it. It only masks balding and when you stop for a week BAM half your hair is gone. I did it for a month and it got systemic, made my bodyhair go primeval turning me into a monkey, ear hair max, eye lashes thicc af cant see shit, gave me wrinkles and even shitter skin, bodyhair ill spend 5 hours epilating just half my body and in 2 days its as if i never done it. And its toxic to cats. But if you dont mind it turning you into a gorilla, using it everyday, risking your cats life, and aging you, go ahead.
>>
>>28539149
There's this sperg on youtube who says the aging shit is bs. also it's topical not oral, so idk if it'll really go crazy on my whole body.
>>
>>28538765
>just be a feminine man

I wish more than anything I could just be one of these twinks with no body hair and no manface and receding hairline. I dont wanna be a fucking tranny but i think id rather die than be an actual man lmfao.
>>
>>28539180
Yes its topical i used less than 0.5ml on my temples once a day only, and a month in i was a monkey and most depressed ive ever been. But look try it if you want, its extremely annoying to use however, but like once you stop you will revert to normal in a few months, hopefully it dont make your beard thicker because apparently minox beard is terminal or so they say.
>>28539221
Well get laser, lose weight to be a twink and get ffs, fin+ht for hair.
>>
gay sounds stupid af but bi is bearable sexy even
>>
i'm type 3 on this >>28537569
am i even repping
>>
>>28538596
Most people are going to tell you to try to accept yourself for who you are, and most of us would rather do that than be like this or be a tranny. It really does seem like there's no other way out though, it's something that's innate in a lot of our brains, something you can't get rid of. I've tried to make it stop but I can't, and it's exhausting to live like this. I'm terrified to transition even though I want to be a woman more than anything else, but I'm even more terrified of wasting the rest of my life as what I don't want to be, as a man, and seeing more and more of one every day I look in the mirror. It's a terror either way, but living like this is terrible, so I think it's time to try something else. It really is a curse to be like this, but it could be even worse. We could have the body of an ogre of a man and live in a Slavic country on top of having dysphoria, we could have been born horribly crippled and disfigured, the list goes on... We just have to find the best way to deal with it that we can. If you think you can have a fulfilling life repressing, then just keep doing that, but it's not going to go away, and it will probably get harder and harder to tolerate. For me personally, I've done that long enough, and I want to finally feel happy and content, not feel slightly sick when I look at myself, to not feel like I'm as wrong.
>>
>>28540010
>Slavic country
hey that's me
growing up in that place as a faggy kid left a permanent psychological fissure tbhon
>>
>>28537524
There are some miracles where it looks like there's no way in the world they would ever pass, but they do.
>>
>>28540044
literally just got off the phone with my therapist, might go for it anyway and enby cope at worst
my repping days may be coming to a close
>>
I wish AGP could be cured. Saw super cute clothes on display in the mall today and that really got it going
>just transition bro
I don't feel like a girl when I am not horny
>then why are you posting on /tttt/
looking for AGP threads, are none, I hang out here instead.
>>
>>28540419
same
does not caring about society leads to easier time accepting transition or not caring about it at all
>>
>>28540456
transitioning is all about presentation. Otherwise all you get are useless tits, smoother skin, and odd looks/questions that would be more annoying to deal with than not. Not to mention the money you'd be spending on pills, clothes, make-up, etc.

If you don't care about society or wanting them to see you as one thing or another, why transition if it isn't severely crippling you? For me the whole thing is an annoyance that pops up every now and again (even though being the girl is the only thing I fap to) rather that something that interferes with daily life on a constant basis.
>>
>>28540342
Did you make a breakthrough? I've thought about signing up for therapy but I've been mostly working through things on my own. It's been a lot, but I feel like it's almost inevitable that I'll end up transitioning. Sometimes I can tolerate being a man, sometimes being a man makes me feel sick and disgusted and makes me want to die, but I'd always rather be a woman. I think I'd maybe have a chance at at least somewhat passing, but like, worst case scenario I'd just keep presenting male. I already got finasteride off the internet and I'm taking one thing to change my hormone levels, that's like a mental barrier crossed, I'll probably end up getting HRT next.
>>28540456
Society doesn't change it much for me, even if men and women were treated in a completely identical way, my body just feels terribly wrong to me and I want it to be different, sometimes it feels like I'm in a flesh prison and I want to claw out of it, it drives me mad.
>>28540419
Being a cis man with AGP probably kind of sucks because like you can't indulge your sexuality totally, because you'd have to transition and then you wouldn't be able to live the rest of your life as a man like you want to. I guess you could dress in drag to do sex stuff.
>>28540498
Yeah, it's not something you really should do unless it's crippling in my opinion. I'm really scared that I'll end up killing myself over dysphoria, and I'm kind of surprised I haven't done it already, and the idea of still being a man in 15 years makes me sick and makes me want to die. So, like, in my case it feels like it's probably worth it, but I still can't help the nagging feeling that I'm not "trans enough" for it to be worth it.
>>
>>28540828
>not trans enough
I'm the AGPfag you replied to and I think this logic is stupid. You're either trans or not. Quit being a bitch and transition into being some guy's bitch.
>>
>>28540828
>breakthrough
not really, i was going over it in this thread but i think i just belong on E.
already DIYed once so now i'll try to get it through the proper channels and make some progress with my life. been stuck on this all year no matter how hard i tried to move past it. i got so much done for the short time i was on E it was legit insane, need that again so bad.
>>
>>28540898
I've been stuck on this really bad for the last year, too. I've always been like this, but I had such a mental cage built around it for a long time, it rattled plenty but it was in... Then the bars on the cage snapped, and it was free, and I can't get back to how it was. It sucks having so much of my life consumed by this and I'm sick of it. I've really heard wonders about what cross sex hormones do for trans mental health, and like, if they could get me to feel normal and like life is worth living and make me feel more motivated to do anything at all, that's so worth it. I'll probably at least end up trying E for a few months.
>>
I think I'm just a narcissistic prick that wants to indulge in their own ephemeral vanity. Being male is fine sometimes, but I pine over a more beautiful version of myself. I want to be strong and powerful, yet endearing and submissive to the chaotic flow of this temporary existence. I can do this as a male, sure, but it's not as pretty.
>>
>>28540998
i gave a shit about myself for the first time after years and years of complete neglect, it was incredible, felt like the pieces were finally connecting.
you're basically describing what i went through in my head right as i decided to order internet hormones. something just snapped and i couldn't keep it in anymore. it was terrifying, but also freeing. i felt like i shed years worth of mental barriers and could feel a full range of emotion again instead of being this shambling disheveled golem. dropped 70lbs over that summer and was basically a new me. but the constant code switching and secrecy got to me until the stress of coming out broke me.
you sound like you'd benefit from at least giving hrt a shot.
>>
>>28541096
Just breaking those barriers for me made me care more and taking better care of myself and feel more alive, but I'm not totally there yet. There are so many things I want to do in life, but this haunts me and is always in my way when I want to do something. Even just doing minor stuff like saying fuck it and acting the way that feels natural to me, shaving off my body hair, shaping my eyebrows, and even dressing in drag and just stuff like that felt freeing and good. I have worried about transitioning, like being scared that I'll just end up looking like a man with no facial hair with soft skin and tits in women's clothes or something and all of the social circles of hell hell that go with it, but I have hope that I should be able to look good, and I'm kind of feeling desperate enough to do it despite my fears. Living the way I am now is mostly miserable, I usually just feel half alive and like I'm floating through life, wasting it while waiting to die. That's a pretty lame way to live, so I think I'll end up at least giving it a shot soon. Thinking that I'll have to live this way forever is making me just want to drop dead right now.
>>
>>28541296
as soon as my T came back my weight started climbing back up and every bad habit i had accumulated while repping along with it, it's fucking awful and i don't think i can go on like this.
to hell with passing, i don't even care about being seen as a woman anymore especially after the kind of rejection i got. i'll do me as authentically as i can and if i'm lucky these bastards won't have a choice but to see me as a woman eventually. in fact i'll make them refer to me as their son while in girlmode if it comes down to it.
if you do start hrt, never visit this board again. don't succumb to their neuroses and do what feels authentic to you. i was so obsessed with being trutrans or whatever bullshit and it only set me back.
>>
>>28541388
I'm like a slave to bad habits and distractions right now, I feel like I always need to be high and doing something that I can really sink into so I don't start going insane. I don't want to live like this anymore, and it sounds like E would really help me stop. It's just like, even though I don't want to get high all of the time, dysphoria just starts killing me once I'm sober enough and starts making me want to die.
I think I'd be kind of scared of girlmoding unless I at least passed enough to start seeing myself as a woman when I look in the mirror or until strangers start gendering me female when they see me. Like, maybe I'd just snap enough eventually to just girlmode without passing totally if I don't pass, but I'm not sure. I mean, I've already had the guts to dress in drag in front of other people. I just don't know if I'd present fem at work because I'm slightly nervous about losing my income, I don't know how they'd feel. I'd really love it if even transphobic people in my life had to struggle to gender me male because their brain doesn't want to gender someone it interprets as a female as male.
Honestly, I mostly visit this place just sometimes almost kind of as self-harm and to talk to people to try and sort out my feelings and what I want to do better. I try to just ignore the people who are brain wormed to hell or acting in bad faith. I'll probably leave once I start feeling happier with my life, just like I'll probably drop lots of other things I do. It would be nice to get back into writing and drawing and playing instruments again.
>>
>>28542174
do what you gotta do to move forward. hrt isn't the be all end all solution to all our woes but it certainly helps stifle the constant nagging thoughts and urges, the rest entirely depends on you. it did enough for me that i want it back.
i wish you the best anonette
>>
I know trooning isn’t the answer but I just really can’t want to be a man and enjoy masculinity and growing old like that. It’s a prison. I want to perma rep because I’m already so masc it’s over over but I can’t convince myself it’s actually what I want.
>>
>>28542669
You too. I'm not expecting it to totally fix my life and be a miracle cure but getting this thing out of my brain that's constantly eating me alive would be such a relief and maybe I could focus on other things I couldn't before.



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