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/lgbt/ - Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, & Transgender

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File: L6cx_OzmyiA.jpg (60 KB, 718x579)
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>knew i wanted to be a girll before the age of 10
>learned that it was possible to become a girl at 10 from the internet
>was too scared to tell my mum or anybody >didnt know how they would react especially since i was in a christian school
>be 24
>over a decade of repression later
>cripplingly depressed
>insane schizo
>no will to live
>dying of mental illness
>didnt look after the body i dont want
>finally come out to mum cos i was gonna die soon anyway
>"why didnt you tell me sooner"
>tfw shes super fucking supportive
>we talked for hours and hours over several days
>she had boomer brainworms about it at first
>after answering all her questions and explaining my feelings in great detail and my whole phelosophy and opinions on transness
>she changed her mind entirely
>she whole heartedly supports me
>even started finding clothes for me to try on
>gave my hair tips
>started calling me a girl
>we joked about boys
>asked when i was gonna get a big strong boyfreind to help us move furniture
>even said she might help pay for my transition >possibly including surgery!!!!
>we bonded so hard ive never loved her so much before
>im so happy
>but i wanna die
>i will forever live a twinkhon knowing i missed my oppertunity to be indistinguishable from a cisgirl because of fear
>i will never recover from the damage repression did to me
>il always have my man voice and twink hon skeleton
>il always have the scars of male puberty
>all the support in the world from my mum wont fix what i did to myself
>have never felt more dysphoric in my life
>knowing how close i was

im happy tho, i can make it, i can be a girl
being supported feels so good
but god fucking damn do i wanna kill myself right now
she has a real habit of suddenly changing her mind on things at the last minute
if she comes home tomorrow and screams at me to get a haircut and to be a man cos i have a penis il fucking kill the fuck out of myself with no fucking hesitation
il make it messy
i think shes for real tho
Don't know what else to say anon...
im crying tears of joy
im autistic i havnt cried actual tears in years holy shit this is incredible im feeling emotions aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaardejrej32k4rej33333333333w2knermjdksew
sounds like bpd

do yourself a favor and don't get too invested in what she says for your own good
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I hope everything turns out OK, you're a good poster.
lol it literally does not matter. There are more important things to focus on in life and you shouldn't waste time worrying about something that you can't change. Instead, focus on giving yourself the future you want to have. voice train. get on hrt. work out. become hot. as an mtf you are a superior being so get over it.
I'm really sorry, I actually know that pain. I also could'ev been a youngshit.. Supportive parents, they even asked me if I want to transition when I was 12 but I was too scared..

I really hope everything works out for you, you really deserve it. You seem like a really nice person.
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good job anon, you made it past the worst part of it all. the phase of hiding and indecision is over.

just remember, you have decades of life left to learn to cope.

i understand how much it hurts. I'm exactly the same as you, I was so afraid. i eventually figured it out. i think I can be happy now. 3 years after where you are, im living with dysphoria still, but less. it doesn't burn quite so much. transition makes a difference. positive relationships make a difference.
I don‘t like „youngshits“ because they seem to act indistinguishable from cis girls. I like my trans girls with the maladapted socialization of autistic boys.

Like op who is cute and gf material
I don't really understand this mentality
Yeah I knew I wanted to be a girl from around that age, yeah I knew what transsexual meant, etc but unless I literally came out to my parents and told them that I wished that I had been born a girl and that I didn't want to live anymore only to get a slap and punished, there's no 'couldve'
I was afraid of my parents because they were very aggressive about gender roles but I just wasn't made to be a youngshit
>>il always have my man voice
go to korea go get yeson
hey if it helps I'm a 31 y/o ftm stuck in womanmode because I was scared to transition and now if I do I'll be a Perma-Ayden. at least you're handling your issues in your 20's.
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who tf had the motivation to do anything that significant as a kid? i just did what i had to do to keep my grades up and filled the remaining time with gaming. i barfed my guts out trying to ask teachers for deadline extensions, couldn't possibly have asked my heavily grandchild-wanting parents if i could fucking troon out.
bpd but she also has legit bipolar and autism my mum is fuckin wierd
<3 <3 <3
it does matter because im not independant im reliant on her and need to be supported
but now i am!
>they asked
ok ur extra retarded fwem but idk if id have been able to say yes even if asked either
so hows things goin with ur classmates after u were the air hostess?
>that image
too relatable
and yeah i think its too late for me to ever not be dysphoric but i cant live another minute full of testosterone and locking my personality away
il definetly be happier even if i never pass or never socially transition, id be alot happier even as a fagmoder
based taste but fuck you also none of us want to be autistic tranniies we want to be girls
yeah but you have a valid reason fwem, if ur parents are like that you cant at all blame urself for not telling them, but my mum wasnt and isnt and if id told her id have been able to get put on blockers and grown up as a girl
am tempted to
atleast womanhood is alot less restrictive than manhood unless u live in some shithole country
i just hid away in my room crying for my whole youth, but the fact is i was so close, i almost told her i litterally put my hand on the door handle to go in and tell her and then i let go turned around and went back to my room to cry
and now knowing that she would have helped me its eating me up inside

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