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>/agpg/ autogynephilia general: Female Beauty edition

Which piece of art encompasses female beauty to you?
What's the aesthetic ideal you desire to embody?
How much is your AGP an emotional experience?
How does it contribute to your imagination and creativity?

>Becoming What We Love:
https://muse.jhu.edu/article/222241/pdf
>Men Trapped in Men's Bodies:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MsWnRwzokH21f1WRg7nwS5hUgBaCT83N/view
>The Gender Variant Phenomenon:
http://www.avitale.com/developmentalreview.htm
It's strongly recommended that you read these books before you post! The large variety of first hand experiences with being AGP are the important parts, and are must reads if you feel ashamed of your AGP in any way. You are not alone in your struggle to understand and express your desires!

Awaken Your Inner Girl Now!

previous: >>19136850
>>
>>19164713
>Awaken Your Inner Girl Now!
No i want her to go away and get out of my life so I can have it back
>>
>>19164778
But anon, how can she give it back when it was hers to start with?
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>>19164806
nice tranny narrative, but things started at the AGP for me.
>>
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>Day 4 without running water
>took water to more families last night
>wake up feeling like I don't want to because it just means living in the real world with all my problems again
>also uncomfortably horny because I haven't been able to masturbate due to aforementioned lack of water and inability to shower
>can't even afford the water to fucking shave
pain

I look like the tired-looking teacher from MHA right now. I'm almost glad I don't have running water because it means I can avoid looking at mirrors.

>>19160987
>I don't even know if I'm thinking straight right now because AGP is absolutely in charge of my life and not me.
I feel it. When I told my therapist about how I felt like so much of the tranny thoughts I have feel like a LARP, he asked me what it'd be like if I were to just go a day without thinking about gender issues and I was 100% honest when I said I really just don't think that's even possible for me. Literally all it would take is seeing a decently-attractive woman and I'd fail immediately.

>>19164160
>being feminized is inherently the most demeaning insulting humiliating thing in the world
lol no it fucking isn't

Smart money says the only reason you think of it that way is because it gives you a reason to repress. If it really was the most dehumanizing thing in the world, every woman on the planet would want to be FTM.
>>
>>19164936
>every woman on the planet would want to be FTM.
isn't that the feminist position?
>>
>>19164778
When you are fully aware that there are ways to awaken her you basically have opened pandora's box and you can't really go back to your previous life, it has already changed forever no matter what course of action you take.

>>19164118
Yeah it's not like I would sacrifice my own being for her, and at this point it's extremely late anyway, pussy isn't going to turn back into a dick even if I wanted (thinking about that makes me so happy lol) .

still amazed of persistence of the stalker desu.
>>
>>19164778
She is the puppetmaster, you are just her automaton.
>>
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>>19165079
I want to get back in control. At least that is what I think is what I want. I can't tell right now.

>>19164963
Thanks, I hate it.

>>19164936
>I were to just go a day without thinking about gender issues
There are plenty of days like that for me, but then I get these gender identity episodes and am incapable of doing anything but jerking off.
>>
>>19165358
If you want to be a woman, isn't transitioning into your possibilities, or you don't want to be a woman when you aren't horny?
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>>19164713
>tfw no bf to hold me like Gustav Klimt's "The Kiss"
>>
>>19164936
For me, I used to go months without thinking of gender shit. Then it became weeks. Maybe about 3 years ago it became a daily thing. Once I lost my job due to the plague, I would sit at home all day thinking about being female. It all just feels so inevitable - which I guess it was, since I'm actively transitioning right now. Congratulations, girl from my dreams. Your turn, good luck and have fun.
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>>19165416
>Congratulations, girl from my dreams.
that reminds me of that 'girl in my dream' tg comic
>>
>>19165391
I'm like hyper conflicted right now, I haven't felt calm all day all I feel is super anxious and varying degrees of aroused.
>>
I used to fap multiple times per day to agp stuff to relieve stress
Then I started hrt
Now I can go a week without even getting aroused
It's nice but it's also kinda weird, like I should be put off of transitioning if agp was such a big part of my life, but it's fine
>>
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>>19165458
legitimately being able to control when I wanted to fap or not and having reduced libido was such an amazing gift of hrt. I wish I couldve been on estrogen during my teenager years just for that alone
Sure I had some good faps here and there but what did it ever amount to? just years of depression and being locked in my room. I can still read hot stuff and get off too on hrt, I just dont feel a slave to it, and dont feel ashamed of myself for it anymore tiehr
>>
>>19165439
Have you considered going to a therapist? this might help you, although I'm afraid this person could not be familiar with trans stuff so if you can try to go to one that has experience with this.

I had bad experiences at first when I was starting all of this, like I wasn't really a horny person eve pre transition because I had ridiculous low T levels. But I did had (and have) fetishes with gender bender stuff and my first therapist thought I was just being manipulated by fiction so I had to avoid for a time that and focused on DIY until I found a good therapist that focus on cognitive behavorial therapy, with more experience in transexualism (still keep doing diy hrt desu).

Would you like to live the rest of your life as a woman, when you aren't actively horny what are you thoughts about this?.
>>
>>19165426
Never heard of it, but I see her every night. I used to think I was being haunted.
>>
>>19164936
>Literally all it would take is seeing a decently-attractive woman and I'd fail immediately.
Yeah, that always triggers me too. Typically looking into mirrors does too. Why do you feel like it's a LARP though? Your dysphoria is clearly real. Hope your water situation normalizes soon.

>>19164963
>When you are fully aware that there are ways to awaken her you basically have opened pandora's box and you can't really go back to your previous life, it has already changed forever no matter what course of action you take.
I'm deeply afraid your right. :(

>>19165416
Are you happier now that you are transitioning? I feel like I'm on a similar timeline but it's accelerating.
>>
>>19165530
Maybe I should get a name, since I post here all the time. We talk all the time. I'm 14 days in, and although there haven't been any noticeable changes I'm definitely happy that I'm taking steps towards what I know I want.
>>
For the first time in my life AGP has graduated from being in my daydreams into my dreams during deep sleep. I've recently been organising the digital family photo album and dreamt last night that, after having plugged the hard drive into the TV, with the family huddled around in the living room, pictures of me crossdressing and being topped flashed across the large screen and everyone's reaction was so catty and confrontational that I felt such an oppressive sinking feeling to the extent that I woke up in a panic with a stomach ache. I feel so utterly violated. This is not a larp I swear it. Whywhywhywhy.
t. cis agp volcel
>>
>>19165641
>showing mother picture on phone
>back out of picture after showing her
>realize there are dozens of thumbnails of me crossdressing, quickly exit gallery
No idea if she noticed desu
>>
>>19165603
Whats your dosage?

>>19164936
I really hope your water situation is fixed soon, that's nightmarish.

Also concerning "Literally all it would take is seeing a decently-attractive woman and I'd fail immediately."...I always think of that whenever I see a repper bemoaning "if only I didnt know about trans stuff, I would never be like this!'. Like buddy there's girls everywhere to trigger it all by itself lol
>>
>>19165641
I'd would get confrontational too if in a family gathering my sister flash the image of her being fucked by her bf. She didn't need to show people that!
>>
>>19165688
2mg oral estrogen and 12.5mg cypro a day.
>>
>>19165810
I should say, I'm doing DIY for now but I should be able to see the doctor in about 3 months. I'll stay on this dose for now and see what he or she says.
>>
>>19165603
Oops, sorry. I'm glad that your doing well! From the little bit I've read it sounds like it takes 8 weeks or so for any real changes to occur physically. Your really brave for taking that step, it's not an easy thing to do. Hope things continue to go well for you.
>>
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>>19165458
Congratulations, you're fembrained!

>>19165495
You too!
>>
Just learned that trichotillomania is fembrained, and guys that do it tend to be gay (9:1 f:m) ^__^
>>
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>>19165458
>>19165495
I feel like part of my constant fapping today (10 times! 10 fucking times!) is to ward off these thoughts and the stresses they cause. It's probably my main reason for going at it so much, in the later times I didn't even feel turned on I just wanted to do it in hopes of killing it.

I agree my libido needs a reduction but hrt is...

As far as transitioning goes, I feel like I'd be taking pills to become someone I'm not but my arousal loves to try and say I am.

>>19165515
Therapy is hard because I have an overprotective and constantly stressed out mother I'm stuck living with even though I'm 28. I do know I need cognitive behavioral therapy for many things as it is, and someone who'd understand AGP as a bonus because I'm worried someone's just gonna go "oh so ur trans" on me.

>>19165837
Why does everyone post this girl with the name boymoder? is it because she wears a hoodie?
>>
>>19166112
>I'd be taking pills to become someone I'm not
If you transitioned you will be the same person on the inside, you can even mantain your personality if you wish, you are not becoming someone else.

I personally feel like "another person" but in a figurative way, because I improved my behavior, empathy and I'm optimistic now, like one could say I'm another person and it can be true from certain perspective, but the soul that experiences life is the same that I had before, my life experiences before transition still exist, memories, etc. But transitioning was a process of growth, this just feels better.

These changes happen thanks to new life experiences, feeling free, support from loved ones and therapy. The most notorious thing that HRT will do is changing the way your sex drive works and the way you experience emotions. Yes that can have a huge impact in your personality but your very soul will be the same. So if that is the thing that scares you most then don't. And you don't have to force to change anything you like from your personality.

It's basically like growing up again.

>Why does everyone post this girl with the name boymoder? is it because she wears a hoodie?
Yes, also tranner bangs.
>>
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>>19165416
>I would sit at home all day thinking about being female.
I thought this is why it's hitting me so hard right now, but I did the same thing in college when I basically did nothing but go to class, work at Gamestop, and cruise /v/. Therapist said it's a case of being alone letting me have more time to confront my own thoughts, and it's true. Didn't have time to think on any of this shit in, say, 2019.

>>19165530
The LARP thing is a side effect of being a writer. It feels like a lot of the stuff I write down is emulating a trans woman's writing, like it's a character I'm narrating for or writing a faux journal for, or worse, me convincing myself I'm trans. Stuff like Jenner's writings or Nevada overlap with it; my journal feels "authentic" when I write it for those reasons, but not always "authentically me." Then I'll go read another trans woman's story and see parallels and it freaks me out a little.

It's hard to explain, but the best way I can describe it is like when you fantasize about yourself doing things and then you look in the mirror and don't look like what your mental image was in those fantasies. That, but text. I write these things down and when I read it back it's like "this is me?"

>>19165688
It's better than it sounds. I stockpiled food and water fearing supply chain disruptions when COVID started, so I was ready. Most difficult part of this has been being unable to shower/shave, and having to melt down snow so I can flush my toilet. I'm glad I'm in a position to do more than bitch at politicians like everyone else though, or I'd have probably punched my own ticket by now.

I get what you mean about "if only I didn't know!" though. I wonder if I mindfucked myself by seeing "Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde" when I was young, but if real trans stuff didn't exist, I'd probably still have fantasies about being a girl.

>>19166112
protip: telehealth therapy's a thing. My therapist did my session from inside his truck this week.
>>
>>19165932
I compulsively pull out my facial hair (even though I like it). Never my hair though. I get occasional bald patches on my face that I’d prefer not to explain so I shave for a few weeks to restart. What does that make me?
>>
>mogiki (a trans mangaka) released new doujin
>it's newhalf abakiyo
got a feeling so complicated...

https://nhentai.net/g/348285/
>>
>>19165332
underrated post
>>
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>>19164713
>How much is your AGP an emotional experience?
>Use AGP fantasies to fool myself into feeling worthy of someone's comforting words and loving touch.
>>19165394
Oh yes, hit me up with the good stuff.
>>
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I accepted my AGP for a while and was transitioning. The phrase "I wish I was a girl" wormed itself into my brain and wouldn't leave to the point I felt panicked and depressed. For a while I took HRT and was transitioning as a last ditch attempt to make the thoughts go away and i felt much better. But then i moved back in with my parents and they told me that shit doesn't fly around them. I'm back to being male and with it comes that thought. Stupid genetics and stupid environment and stupid prenatal androgen exposure giving me AGP. I wish I could make this go away and be normal.
>>
>>19166396
>Then I'll go read another trans woman's story and see parallels and it freaks me out a little.
Did you read Caitlyn Jenner's memoir?
>>
>>19164936
>>also uncomfortably horny because I haven't been able to masturbate due to aforementioned lack of water and inability to shower
Really, after just 4 days nofap?
>>
>>19169345
>>
>>19166363
Different anon, but I do feel that I'm now not the person I was, and this is just 8 months HRT. Once the lockdown is over and I'll be able to settle fully into life as a woman, the old me would amount to "the me in previous life."
>>
oh boy i'm feeling like utter shit for being a man again
>>
>>19169523
what do you gain from lurking agpg and just posting canned npc tier responses?
>>
>>19169546
I like doing that when i'm down/ angry.
>>
>>19169559
Be angry somewhere else. Here's a good place:
>>>/pol/
>>
>>19169568
No.
>>
>>19169559
you're just feeding into your own anger and taking it out and making it worse on you then. which if you wanna do go ahead and waste your time making yourself feel worse
>>
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any agps dating gay men?
or have any felt drawn to gay men when looking for friends or partners?
>>
>>19169559
Why?
Why are you feeling down anon?
>>
>>19166396
>Therapist said it's a case of being alone letting me have more time to confront my own thoughts, and it's true
Is there a more fragile thing than a repressor denied her distraction?
>>
>>19169559
You can be a girl too, anon. You don't need to be scared any more. Everyone will love you.
>>
>>19169904
Damn, how did Mumsnet find 4chan?
>>
I feel constantly depressed and anxious and pray every night that I'll wake up as a girl. I've never been able to imagine myself as a dominant male, or even as participating in a sexual act as a male. No matter what manly things I do, the feelings don't go away. I think about them constantly. I want to be a girl. I would sacrifice anything for that. I try to distract myself all day through books, video games, and work, but as soon as I catch a glimpse of femininity it all burts out again. I am a fundamentally broken human being. I want to be a girl. I don't even need to be pretty. It would be nice, but I don't care any more. When people call me handsome, I cringe. When people compliment anything masculine about me I want to die. I wanted to take this secret to the grave, but it gets harder every day. I've always wanted to be a girl, as far back as I can remember. I'm scared of my own feelings. I want to be normal.
>>
I wish everyone will love me as they would a woman. Perhaps a bit infantilizing, perhaps a bit objectifying, but they all agree that I'm precious.
>>
>>19170437
Seems that at least 70% of the reasons AGPs want to be female is something related to fear of growing old/ regret over not being a kid anymore. Explaining the love for childish stuff like stuffed animals, abdl stuff, diapers etc.
>>
>>19170564
Even as I transition, it's not like I can go back and have a female childhood or youth. And we're already a people that reject norms for how a person is expected to live in favour of doing what makes us happy, so why the hell not have a stuffed animal?
>>
>>19169505
Haha of course you feel like a different person but what I'm trying to say is that you are still you even if you are different, you are the same soul that experiences life through a new perspective.
>>
>>19170583
Stuffed animals are the best, I have a lot of them and my boyfriend gift me plushies in special situations, easy gift that can make me very happy
>>
>>19170637
How do I steal your boyfriend? Asking for a friend.
>>
>>19170637
how do i get my boyfriend to give me lots of plushies? do you just ask him or something?
>>
>>19170979
Well he at first used to gave me money before we even started dating (when I got disowned he was my best friend and invited me to live with him since I would be homeless otherwise) and he noticed I liked plushies because I bought some and talked how much I liked him and told him the names I gave to my stuffed animals, which he was all like "I didn't know this cute side of you", so he started to buy me plushies when we started dating. In the last San Valentino he bought me a cute big rhino plushie, a dress and gave me a necklace of his deceased grandmother. He really knows how to make me happy.
>>
>>19171179
>talked how much I liked him
How much I liked them*, hehehe, like I actually like him a lot but I had to hide that secret until he started to flirt and noticed he was serious
>>
>>19171179
>>19171195
aww that's cute. my guy knows i love plushies, i literally have a room full of them but he rarely gets me any. i generally only get gifts during like Valentine's, my birthday, anniversary, or Christmas
>>
>>19171179
>San Valentino
what?
>>
>>19171243
Saint Valentine's
>>
>>19171195
Emilia give us some cute romantic greentexts! Times he flirted with you, times you hid your feelings from him, cute things you've done together as a couple!
>>
>>19171295
>I've never been able to imagine myself as a dominant male, or even as participating in a sexual act as a male. No matter what manly things I do, the feelings don't go away.
>as soon as I catch a glimpse of femininity it all bursts out again
>I am a fundamentally broken human being.
> I wanted to take this secret to the grave, but it gets harder every day.
The AGP is trying to make me into a girl, I despise it every day, I want the AGP to go away and never ever return. I relate to all of these points, even if not every point, but I know I would much rather kill the fetish than be the girl.

It just doesn't feel possible at this point...
>>
I don't like to fap cause it makes me feel like a dude afterwards, but if I don't I feel bad cause it makes me want to be a girl so I try to walk a line between the two it's exhausting
AGP is getting more and more out of hand with time, sometimes I intensively wish to be a girl, most time I'm fine, this shit is exhausting
>>
>>19167654
A pain enjoying masochist with mild ocd / anxiety. Secondary sex characteristic gender dysphoria. A total bottom.
>>
>>
>>19169430
;_;
>>
>>19171982
I'd fap because I want to be a dude again. I want the invasive thoughts to go away.

Now i'm not so sure, it feels like who I am is a lie. I feel like the AGP is changing who I am, and I don't like that.
>>
god damn it

I ate a big dinner then a bit later ended up masturbating with anal and fucking popped my panties, kind of ruined the session because pussies dont poop. still came but annoyed.
>>
Give me some agp audio porn.
>>
>>19173713
vola 1ndz5zubc
>>
>>19173713
just look up bambi sleep
>>
What are you girls favorite kinds of AGP porn? Audio? Doujins? Erotic stories? Captions? TG sequences? Youtube ASMR? Boy removal greentexts? VNs or some other games?
>>
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>>19174710
If it allows me to self-insert in a way that gets me more in touch with femininity, then it's all good to me.
>>
Someone please god kill my AGP
Every day it feels like I'm losing more and more of myself to it and over the past couple days i haven't even been able to focus.

Transitioning feels like an inevitability and that scares the hell out of me.
>>
>>19174900
AGP doesn't mean that you have to transition you know.
>>
>>19174986
that isn't what my AGP is telling me
>>
anyone else feel like jacking off just fucks up being in the fem zone?
>>
>>19174710
[spoiler]sissy 'hypno'[/spoiler]
>>
>>19164713
>A naked woman is, for most men, the most beautiful thing they will ever see
lol did a woman write this
>>
>>19174900
It's ok to transition anon, you're allowed to if that's what you want
What exactly is stopping you?
>>
>>19175286
Yes.
>>
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>>19175091
Can't you live together with your girl self? Does it have to be one or the other? Why not become a myselfmoder and enjoy both sides? Unless you want to transition that is.
>>
>>19175567
how does one be a myselfmoder?
>>
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Alright /agpg/ I'm curious. Of the 4 sexualities listed here, which do you have?

And do you consider yourself trans, cis or unsure?

For me-
>hetero
>GAMP
>AGP
>cis
>>
>>19164713
Do any of you get off to r/whiteboysex? Or interracial cock worship?
>>
>>19176181
Define trans and cis?
>>
>>19171384
>Be me 3 years ago, babytran state like 10months hrt (andromoding but already passing by that point)
>There is awful storm outside
>Play videogames with him
>Suddenly a thunder sounds and I flinch
>He head pat me and tell me that don't have to worry it's just a thunder
>Tell him I just react that way with noisy sounds
>"I wish I knew before you were that adorable"
>MFW STOP JOKING BAKA
>He laughs

>At bioparco (biggest zoo here) basically kinda girlmoding (female clothes but that didn't draw much attention)
>Wow look Ale, isn't that white tiger cute? look how majestic
>Yeah it's cute but not as cute as you Emi
>Heartbeat accelerates and think he is joking but don't say anything
>He holds my hand and tell me it's ok
>Enjoy every second of holding his hand, thinking that while it was probably a joke I was doing it right (I liked to put girly outfits because despite thinking it was a joke at first, I really enjoyed it)

Now I realize that the visit to the zoo that day was practically a date and pretty much nothing of what he did was a joke lol, but back then I didn't realized that. I'm so stupid I didn't realized he was 100% serious until he actually kissed me because, while I actually tried to "seduce" him I did so in an "indirect" way like I wouldn't actually approach, just dress more cute I loved when he gave me compliment so it was my main motivation to learn how to groom myself.
>>
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>>19175918
By looking yourself in the eye, acknowledging the many facets of your personality, and realizing that you don't have to be strictly man or woman, just yourself. Then continue working on said self in the way and direction you desire.
Cast away your choking restraints.
>>
>>19176362
Pure adorability, literally like something from a cutesy manga
>>
>>19176345
Good question
>>
>>19176519
Yeah honestly I feel blessed by having someone like him after the horrible thing that happened with my family. I wish I KNEW he was serious at the time because damn

But well do some agp girls here named their breasts?
>>19175358

People there said this is an agp behavior and found it funny and wondered if someone else does that too
>>
>>19176758
>But well do some agp girls here named their breasts?
What, no. That's kind of creepy.
>>
>>19176758
Eva-01 and Eva-02, since (spoiler) the robots in the Evangelion are really soul of human women locked inside giant armor. Kind of like similar to my mental situation pre-transition.
>>
>>19176968
I thought it was normal since this was an idea that I copied from a friend (cis f) and I was wondering if it was an agp behavior or not.
>>19177012
Lol that's a cool idea, I never watched evangelion so thanks for the explanation. Glad to see more people do it though!
>>
>>19176758
I didn't name them before but now I want to.
>>
>>19177034
Come to think of it cis guys name their dicks too, virtually none of them actually take it seriously though, and the ones who do are the types that women avoid.
>>
>>19177045
Think something that combine and it can be funny and cute, whatever your imagination can come with when you baptize them.
>>
>>19177096
It's not something serious but a funny thing, specially for sex, which is one of the reasons of why I named them after sweets.
>>
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>>19174847
>in a way that gets me more in touch with femininity, then it's all good to me.

Yes this, anything that fills that void, doesn't always have to be porn either.
>>
>>19176476
>Then continue working on said self in the way and direction you desire.
like estrogen

>>19176758
>>19176362
thats kinda adorable
agps need to let themselves be as cute as they feel they wanna be
>>
>>19164713
It is wrong for me to transition because I am (almost) exclusively gynephilic. And I do not really have dysphoria. Not really. I think dysphoria can be worked through. I think it is the irrational dislike about your appearance, and I think you can learn to be okay with our body. I know I did.
>>
>>19177224
can a fat man learn to accept his body? Sure, but he can also change and improve it. For some that involves dieting, working out, and me that involved taking estrogen (and also doing squats).

there's nothing morally wrong about transitioning, whether you're gyne or androphilic. The fact that you said "I don't reaaally have dysphoria sorta" instead of "I DONT HAVE DYSPHORIA. PERIOD." shows how insecure you still are about it.
>>
>>19177114
>baptizing your boobs with your boyfriend's kisses
this needs to be a thing
>>
>>19177278
the problem with your analogy is that dysphoria is a feeling not a state of the body. If you don't have dysphoria, you are not trans, and there is no reason to change your body. So if you treated dysphoria ie got rid of it, all the bad is gone. Taking estrogen is not a "good". It only would be a good depending on how you feel about it. If you treat the feeling, then you are done.

I'm not insecure. I don't have dysphoria. There is no reason for me to transition outside of pursing a sexual fetish, and I realize this would be a net bad since it would hurt me in other areas: that being finding relationships and getting treated nice by society.
>>
Get out of here tripfag, this is the only good place on /tttt/, it was better when you were scared of this thread.
>>
>>19177478
>not a state of the body.
having male features is a state of the body. and you can change that state if you want to with estrogen. simple as that!

stop overcomplicating things for yourself because it sounds like you're just wasting a lot of words to try and justify you not transitioning to yolurself.
>>
>>19177515
omg you cannot follow an argument to save your life. DYSPHORIA is not a state of the body. Once you remove DYSPHORIA, there is no longer anything wrong with male features. Accepting yourself for being fat is all well and good, but being fat is still unhealthy. However if you accept your male features, there is no longer anything wrong with having them. That is the difference. I don't feel any negativity about my male features, ergo no reason to transition.
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>>19177587
>being fat is still unhealthy.
being male is unhealthy for agps :)
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>>19177623
no
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>>19176758
>>1917498
Post here this is where your kind belongs.
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>>19176476
Far easier said than done, Kaneko. All my AGP is concerned with is being a girl and all my boy is concerned with is keeping status quo.
>>
Woman: Knitting blankets for premature babies makes me feel happy and valuable

Autogynephile: Female hormones and fetishistic clothes make me feel happy and valuable
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>>19177623
Only if you think being male means you must deny anything feminine/agp about yourself
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Not a Shamirpost, but this image made me feel super warm and fuzzy even if I don't give two shits about Final Fantasy and never have.

>>19169391
That is exactly what I was referring to, I just didn't have the space to say so.

>>19171422
Trying to kill the fetish is basically why I started therapy. It's not really working, if anything, it's just brought the girl to the table. Which means she's not locked up anymore. Which is making her increasingly dangerous to my life as I know it.

If the stakes weren't so high for me, I'd have probably waved the white flag already.
>>
I got in huge fight with my therapist earlier today. Now I'm drinking. How's everyone else's day been?

>>19166396
>It's hard to explain, but the best way I can describe it is like when you fantasize about yourself doing things and then you look in the mirror and don't look like what your mental image was in those fantasies. That, but text. I write these things down and when I read it back it's like "this is me?"
That makes sense. The way I feel in my head has always been a world apart from my reality. It still feels like someone has hijacked my brain as old as that metaphor is getting.
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Are all agps pussyphiles? Is there any non-meta dick attraction?
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>>19177716
No one said you can't be in both pictures...
Some of us actually have social life, you know.
>>
But idk I don't know what to think about trans people. If dysphoria can be cured, (which it was in my case), then what does that say about people altering the body to treat the illness? Is it really right for so many people to transition? It's possible that there exists dysphoria that cannot be cured, but my experience tells me that at least some can be.
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>>19177858
maybe if you're bi or GAMP or both
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>>19177947
I personally don't believe that dysphoria can be truly cured in that way, the only thing that I would imagine is that they could make someone believe they don't have it but eventaully it will return because that's how dysphoria works, it comes in waves.

I personally would really really hate if I was tried to be "cured" that way because it would be basically killing me, I'm comfier knowing I was given the right treatement to adapt my body to my mind instead of adapting my mind to my body.
>>
>>19177772
>I got in huge fight with my therapist earlier today.
why tho
>>
>>19178023
I think this too. If dysphoria seems to have gone, it's not, it's just not acting up at the moment.

The real "cure" is fixing your body to be the right sex, not "fixing" yourself to accept the wrong body.
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>>19177772
But did you win the fight?
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Now this is an interesting thread I found in the archives...

>>19079552
>Anyone else feel like their troon side is an entire separate personality from their main cis self?
>>
>>19178427
Yes, but it's a separate personality that cheers me up. Like when the suicidal thoughts are here, she tells me "we promised ourselves that we won't go there" or "we have a whole world to explore now that we have accepted ourselves." It's like the opposite of inner demon... inner angel?
>>
>>19178427
yeah, I feel like she is a personality fighting me for control of myself like a spoiled brat. Feels entitled like a princess, while I want to be a king.
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>>19177034
eva is good
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>>19178222
It's a long story. We had a major disagreement about something in particular and she wouldn't let it go. Eventually I got sick of it and went off on a massive, stupid rant. It was childish, but I really feel like I have been trying to make progress, and she always wants me too keep doing more. It's like nothing's good enough.

>>19178280
Person who yells the most is always the winner right?
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>>19178537
It's probably like this if I'm to provide a visual representation.
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>>19178587
Shinji is a repressor
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>>19178627
based adventurers sweater

>>19178641
evas totally agpcore
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>>19178641
No just an introvert
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>>19177768
>Barrett! She's ready for you!
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>>19165641
>AGP has graduated from being in my daydreams into my dreams
lol I still remember my first anatomic AGP dream last year, just looking down and having a perfect smooth innie vagina, it made my waking fap fantasies much better having that kind of first person visual reference holy shit thank you dreams

Also remember having some dreams where I had no balls, or nothing at all down there, again dreams I literally never had in my life before until I discovered and started fantasizing about anatomic AGP and obsessing about it basically for a month

But now both that obsession and subsequently the dreams have run their course for now and haven't had it in a while.

Instead just yesterday I dreamed about being lewd with the qt femboy I crushed hard on from picrew, dreams are awesome...
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>>19179428
>>
>>19178427
I carried her on my back my whole life, but now I'm tired so we're swapping out.
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>>19179192
An introverted repressor.
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>>19177947
Can you explain how you think it was "cured"? I thought mine was cured for a long time and then it came and decked me in the face last year. I didn't even know it *was* dysphoria until dysphoria was explained in more detail to me.

>>19178427
Sorta. I know it's not a separate personality; "she" is an extension of myself, freed from certain expectations and self-imposed standards. Despite being locked away in my head, she feels like she'd live a more free, authentic life than I sometimes do.

I've mentioned it in threads before, but I had to stop playing Cyberpunk for a while because the whole twist with Johnny hit a little too close to home. When my therapist told me I had gender dysphoria, my mental image of that reveal was basically her materializing on the back of my couch, laughing her ass off, flopping over and going "you dumbass, you really thought you could just make me go away? After all these years dealing with me, even before you made me a character in your novel? What, did you think she felt captivating and authentic because you write well or something?"

It's a little grating because it just feeds into that feeling that this is a LARP, that this entire thing is a narrative I've built to make my life more interesting/stressful, but I also know it's a very real side of me that I've had for a long time and kept locked down out of fear it could take control.

>>19178598
I hope this doesn't hurt your relationship with your therapist. It's important to remember that your therapist will occasionally make you uncomfortable because pushing boundaries is how we grow. On the other hand, she needs to respect that you have certain boundaries you don't wish to cross, regardless of whether or not that might change in the future. I feel like I've been making huge leaps of progress until the last couple of sessions, where I've pumped the brakes so hard I'm in danger of flying through the windshield. I told my therapist this and he's eased back a little too.
>>
>>19178704
Ironically I can't make that dress because I'm on permanent free trial.
>>
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shameless bump featuring lizard girls

what would I give to be able to have that aesthetics to look good on me
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>>19180876
>this whole thing is a LARP
For me, the 23 years I spent as a boy was the LARP. I knew, subconsciously, that the self I presented to the world was mostly a fabrication to keep the part of myself that scared me locked away. There were bits of truth, of course, but I had effectively been living a double life - one in my body, and another in my head. Just like you, I had no idea why I did it, or what it meant, until I researched gender dysphoria with an open mind. Before, I would close my eyes whenever I saw anything trans related. I didn't want to acknowledge it, I pretended it didn't exist. When I actually let myself see it, and read the experiences of others, I had a huge breakdown and had to reevaluate my whole life.
Also I'm namefagging now because I've been active for a while here. I'll stop if someone wants me to.
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>>19183332
>I had effectively been living a double life - one in my body, and another in my head
Reminder.

>I'll stop if someone wants me to.
No, why should you stop.
>>
>>19180876
>>19183332
>I didn't even know it *was* dysphoria until dysphoria was explained in more detail to me.
>Just like you, I had no idea why I did it, or what it meant, until I researched gender dysphoria with an open mind
Where can you do that?
>>
>>19183243
>lizard girls
Hm, not the typical monstergirls.
>>
>>19183360
For the most part, it meant reading biographies, memoirs, 4chan posts, and blog posts. If you find everything you read distressingly relatable, I might have some news for you. Hearing about other people's experiences with dysphoria made me question a million little oddities in my life, all the strange emotions and urges that I couldn't explain, like why I avoided mirrors and cameras, or why I was uncomfortable with people seeing my bare chest. I could go on at length about all the little things I didn't realize were dysphoria. Here's an article that I think does a good job.
I had a hard time explaining exactly how I felt last time we spoke, but I found this article that I thought matched my feelings over the years.
https://genderanalysis.net/articles/that-was-dysphoria-8-signs-and-symptoms-of-indirect-gender-dysphoria/
I was able to relate to almost all of this, and I imagine some of you guys and girls can too.
>>
>>19183495
this article has been dismissed by the author herself as being mostly depression symptoms (granted, mostly from dysphoria in her case)
>>
>>19183453
It's a weeb game so all the monstergirls are just human girls with some beast traits (some scales and horns in this case).
>>
>>19183509
Damn, guess I was depressed too, then.
>>
>>19183353
>Having an inner girl this SAD inside you.
Ishygddt.
>>
>>19183559
A universal tranner experience!
>>
>>19183562
It's meant to be a cautionary tale, you should never let yourself fall anywhere close to that point.
>>
>>19183604
But I barely let mine out as well, and she is still an endless wellspring of energy and joy. Keeping her down only seems to make her stronger.
>>
tfw feel when no cis agp gen
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>>19183748
I know right

Closest thing is basically the /d/ feminization threads
>>
>>19180208
Thats just projection
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>>19183544
>It's a weeb game
So is MGE.
>>
>take my estrogen and cypro
>instant boner
Still got it, friends
I'm in a real life TG comic and it feels good
>>
>>19184270
Hot, but what are you gonna do if somehow HRT changes your libido or depletes it to the point you don't even get turned on anymore by your own IRL feminization?
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>>19184420
I will have hot sex with my cute boyfriend, of course. I just need to get one, first.
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>>19184430
that is incredibly based
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>>19185004
It's a bit of a situation, since I met this guy online a few months ago when I thought I could be happy as a gay crossdresser. We haven't met up yet because of the plague, and he's gay, so I have no idea how he'll take it when I tell him I'm eating hormones and whatnot. I'll tell him after the first date... he's really sweet, but I totally understand if he doesn't want to date me.
>>
what do cis agps look like
>>
>>19185142
Normal, depressed men. Sometimes extra manly, to compensate.
>>
>>19185142
I think I appear normal and inconspicuous, very average build
I'm not depressed in the slightest tho
>>
>>19185142
There is no cis or trans. There are only people with dysphoria for different reasons.
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>>19185142
>support and advocate
what the fuck does that even mean
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>>19186623
Probably something like "Being AGP does not make you evil and badwrong"
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>>19180876
>my mental image was basically her materializing on the back of my couch, laughing her ass off and going "you dumbass, you really thought you could just make me go away?"
damn, I felt that.

meanwhile I've been reading more and more trans documents, like https://genderdysphoria.fyi/gdb/ and it's like there were things I related to, a lot I didn't, and things I felt like were either normal guy things or not trans things in specific

The trans things I related to was
>Being called a girl as an insult, but blushing rather than feeling insulted
>Finding lots of trans people without even knowing it
but only online
>Jealousy and envy of trans people
A little bit, mostly fueled by the sexual fantasy.
>Wishing to be pampered in a relationship
but not with everyone I've had an interest in dating, just the more sexual/intimate stuff
>Not really knowing how to be in a relationship as a man
Only relationship I ever had in my 28 years lasted a month, because I didn't take much initiative. Not that I loved her, I just wanted to say I had a gf in high school, but still.
>Penetrating feels wrong
I don't even jerk off like guys do, I don't know if I could penetrate anyone and be happy. I sometimes fap to it, but not very often.
>Do I want to be with her, or be her?
Holy fuck, this eats at me every day.
>TSF
But the fetish absolutely came first, before any be a girl thoughts. In fact I wouldn't have girl thoughts without the fetish.
>the girl in games
Unless romance is involved, but I was a girl in one of my Fates playthroughs and being romanced was kinda hot.
>crossdress
I did it on Halloween for 5 years until I felt it was played out and went with something else despite telling everyone I'd be a girl again.
>cis people don't obsess over trans stuff
it's true, it's been 8 years, I hate this.

And I was just thinking while fapping, "how many more times am I gonna say 'I wish I was her' to every cute anime girl?"
>>
>>19179428
NEED to learn how to lucid dream
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>>19187170
>But the fetish absolutely came first, before any be a girl thoughts. In fact I wouldn't have girl thoughts without the fetish.
ahaha
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how much money do you think he has spent on his agp dungeon?
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>>19188181
what
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>>19180876
>my mental image of that reveal was basically her materializing on the back of my couch, laughing her ass off, flopping over and going "you dumbass, you really thought you could just make me go away?
Did this song play when it happened?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAzNQKbncxA
>>
Eyeliner is the hardest thing in the world, and being blind as a bat without my glasses doesn't help. That's all I wanted to say. Oh also the eyelashes on my left eye are way longer than my right and it's fucking me up, it's like I have perma-mascara on the one.
>>
>>19189879
I bought eyeliner for the first time and it arrived yesterday and I'm terrified of even trying
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>>19189887
It's hard to take off without remover too, so keep that in mind if you don't have any. Get some. Still, neither of us are getting any better without practice.
>>
I can't wait for my tits to grow. I'm gonna play with them all day, and I'll wear bras, and I'll wear turtleneck sweaters.
>>
>>
>>19190051
I want my tits big so someone else can play with them.
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>>19190131
I don't want them too big. C cups would be ideal, B or A fine, but I don't want melons. Still, I'll be happy with what I get.
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>>19189980
makeup remover is ESSENTIAL. especially with eyeliner. I recommend liquid eyeliner, pencil type kinda sucks.
its hard to learn how to apply but it can be SUPER effective at femming your look. You don't have to do the entire eyeline either, I usually just do 3/4s of it (reaching to the outer ends of course). just a thin line can be enough as well. dont be too ambitious with wingtips at first either, just stop at the end. The hardest part is not getting any on your eyelashes, and blinking. if you feel you're going to blink, get the applier away from your eye and blink lol

>>19190051
supremely based. gotta get a ribbed sweater too.
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>>19190269
Yeah, I've tried both and liquid is definitely my preferred. It's just so damn tough when I can't see anything. I'm considering getting contact lenses just to make eye makeup easier. Maybe I'll get laser correction at some point too, although having to depend on thick glasses is cute.
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>>19187170
I did most of those too and still do. I think I'm pretty good at relationships, but my gf sussed out my gender issues because she could tell I didn't operate by standard "man rules," and I never get sex-crazed like her exes did.

I definitely had a "sniffer" for trans people though, often before they even knew themselves. I'm not sure how, but my therapist believes it's a case of instinctively knowing the sort of people I can feel safe around due to similar experiences and gravitating towards them. Hasn't always worked out in the long run, but it's a good hypothesis. It's also hard for me to say whether or not the AGP came first or my dysphoria did, because I assumed "dysphoria" meant "hating your dick" for so long I didn't believe I had it until recently.

The "I wish I was her" thing is especially bad, though I rarely did it for "cute" anime girls since I have a preference for the "cool" and "handsome girl" types.

>>19189879
Eyeliner is great. One of the few perks of 'rona is that it's made face masks socially acceptable, so sometimes I'll just do eyeliner and eyeshadow, put my mask on, and admire my look.

Speaking of, water came back on today, so hopefully I can actually shave soon. Just waiting for the all clear to turn my water heater back on so I can finally shower.
>>
>>19190643
>It's also hard for me to say whether or not the AGP came first or my dysphoria did, because I assumed "dysphoria" meant "hating your dick" for so long I didn't believe I had it until recently.
I thought the same thing. I have a great relationship with my dick, and that was what I always told myself when I (rarely) allowed myself to think about trans people. Well *I* can't be like them, I don't want to whack off my willy and get a fake vagina! I always put up a wall between me and transness - sure, if there was a way to *really* be a girl I'd be first in line, I told myself, but modern medicine simply isn't there! I'll be patient! Maybe I'm like them, but I have strength, and restraint, and patience!
Textbook repression, I guess. And since the thought of being a girl made me so horny, it was way too easy to just say "it's a fetish and I am a pervert."

And yeah I love the masks. My jaw and nose are the two facial features that speak of my masculinity, so when I can cover them up and put a wig on, I can even look like a girl if I squint real hard.
I'd post a picture but instead I will not.
>>
I don't get dysphoria. Tell me what exactly does it do to your mind. How does it feel like?
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>>19191823
>>
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>The concept of sexual intermediacy was Hirschfeld’s central contribution to the scientific understanding of sexuality. He theorized that all human characteristics, both physical and psychological, could be classified into gendered types—feminine, masculine, and occasionally, androgynous. Rather than being a model for biological essentialism and gender rigidity, Hirschfeld’s theory explained that it was only natural that people did not fit neatly into categories of man and woman but had traits that fit in both categories. A person might have masculine appearance, and masculine behaviors, for instance, but feminine sexual desires, thus displacing the notion of a gender binary and the notion that any deviance from it represented an abnormality, rather than simply one of many possible combinations.

>A person might have masculine appearance, and masculine behaviors, for instance, but feminine sexual desires,
Sounds a lot like cis AGP desuuu
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>>19190643
>standard "man rules," and I never get sex-crazed like her exes did.
I don't even know what those would be. I feel like I have no real sexual urges, I don't know my mind isn't in the right place.

>because I assumed "dysphoria" meant "hating your dick" for so long I didn't believe I had it until recently.
I also assumed it was hating your dick, but I didn't know what dysphoria meant until I knew what euphoria meant but the problem is everything that arouses me is also associated with euphoria and I'm so fucking lost and confused.

>The "I wish I was her" thing is especially bad, though I rarely did it for "cute" anime girls since I have a preference for the "cool" and "handsome girl" types.
I always see myself as cutesy, I don't like tsunderes much but I kinda see myself that way. I just don't know if I want to fuck the girl or be her a lot of the time.

How did your therapist come to the conclusion you have dysphoria?

>>19190906
> And since the thought of being a girl made me so horny, it was way too easy to just say "it's a fetish and I am a pervert."
I just feel like something is very wrong with me and because I obsess over the topic I'm putting something there that isn't there.

>>19190131
>>19190146
I imagine C-Cup/D-Cup in sex for maximum squeezing, but I don't want tits anywhere else.

>>19191935
How does disassociation work? I never understood it, but I hear people have it and say I may have done it too.

>>19193094
>cis AGP
God I wish that were me.
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aaaaaaaaaaaafgfghdfhfdhdhhssgs
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>>19193779
>How does disassociation work? I never understood it, but I hear people have it and say I may have done it too.
Some people describe it as feeling like your brain/mind is seperate from your body, and you control the body like a puppet.
For me, it feels like my "self" sits on my shoulder, telling my body what to do. Often, that comes hand in hand with not holding my body in high regard, no care for appearance or safety.
Dissociation is a really hard thing to describe, and I think many people do it without really knowing about it.
>>
>>19193094
>For Hirschfeld, however, the existence of a “total” masculine or feminine type is infinitely improbable; presaging some aspects of postmodernism, Hirschfeld believed masculinity and femininity are idealized and thus nonexistent poles between which we all must slide, to varying degrees. It therefore becomes irrational to persecute those who fail to conform to gendered expectations, since everyone naturally falls short of ideals both chimerical and narrowly historicized.

>years later brain imaging studies seem to prove him right
https://www.pnas.org/content/112/50/15468

Fucking hell, gotta give him credit he was way ahead of things in some respects, by intuition/observation alone
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File deleted.
How to tell if you are cis AGP, or are just ugly and have autism and a virgin porn addict and the combination of these factors causes you to project weird states of mind unto yourself?
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>>19193094
Hirschfield saw through the facade of Nazi machismo, and found a lot of femboys with AGP in it. No wonder the Nazis wanted to erase everything about him.
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>>19194414
I wish I could be a bride someday :(

>>19193820
or go someplace in a party dress with my boyfriend!!

>>19194027
>>19193094
Huh really fascinating. It's a shame how much research and studies we've lost. They were even attempting uterus transplants for transpeople in the 1930s.
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>>19196178
Me too
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>>19193779
>How did your therapist come to the conclusion you have dysphoria?
That's a difficult question to answer, because it came from a holistic picture of who I am and what I've struggled with. The anon I replied to laid out a bunch of dysphoric examples that I have, at one time or another, dealt with my entire life.

Unlike Bird, I haven't actually seen my therapist's notes though, so I don't know the exact things that jumped out to him. I do, however, think that he sees my AGP - and the fact that some people poking around at the edges of it and teasing me about it without knowing the truth causing me to just dissociate HARD and "shut down" for a week - as evidence of dysphoria. A completely cis person would've let it roll right off their back, but it made just zone out and not really be mentally present while I tried to process whether or not the life I was living was really the one I want to live based strictly on how I present and how people perceive me. People don't do that for "just a fetish."

It's weird because it's different from the sort of "dissociation" I'm used to experiencing. Usually, when I dissociate, it's because I got stuck on an uncomfortable thought - usually about wanting to be a woman - and it's so discomforting my brain just goes off in some weird direction on a totally different subject so I stop thinking about it, but I also end up not thinking about whatever it is I'm *supposed* to be doing in the moment too. Growing up, it was fighter jets, because that was cool and manly to me. If I started getting too many "girl thoughts," my brain would suddenly fill my head with mental images of F-16s and shit and I'd just zone the fuck out. I don't do that anymore, but that's how it felt growing up. These days I just get stuck on the uncomfortable subject while I autopilot through whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing. I'll be "there," but not really *there*, you know?
>>
>>19196692
It used to be that whenever I had girl thoughts I would chase them away by thinking about jihad and how I'll leave this world a martyr rather than a degenerate.
>>
>>19180876
>I'll bring us through this. As always. I'll carry you - kicking and screaming - and in the end you'll thank me.
>>
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>>19191823
It feels like being actively coerced into a shameful lie. Like imagine being forced to donate to a political party you hate, or profess a religion you don't believe in, or marry someone you don't love.
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>>19198553
Relatable
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AAP is fucking real
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>>19198553
Japanese Lenin keeping it real
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>>19198796
Yes! Butch lesbians are peak AAP but autohomoerotic 'gaydens' who bottom for gay men could be described as having a milder form of it.
>>
>>19196178
>It's a shame how much research and studies we've lost.
And this is why I'm not tolerating Nazis even if they are femboys.
>>
>it's another "suddenly start to feel like shit for not being female" day
50% chance and no way to make up for it. genetics decided to make me too masculine to even pretend
what a joke of an existence i live
>>
i wish i were a girl
>>
>>19199050
I wish that your wish to be a girl is granted.
>>
>>19199055
hey i'm just holding out for if some weird supernatural event happens and we all become cute girls as a side effect of it
like that's ever happening
>>
>>19187170
>And I was just thinking while fapping, "how many more times am I gonna say 'I wish I was her' to every cute anime girl?"
Ok, when did you start to fap to anime characters? Maybe you fucked up your brain and sexuality even before you even hit puberty? Wishing to be a "cute cartoon character" is in itself a paraphilic, immature fantasy. I can´t even... Your generation seems to be mindfucked on so many levels Its not even funny anymore. I don´t envy you and I hope the following generations will be sheltered from extreme fetish porn in their pre-teen and teenage years. You never had a relationship but coomed to thousands of hours of very niche japanese cartoon porn since your pre-teen years? Being exposed to this porn as a child, let me assume this for the argument, is basically child abuse. Are you aware of that? Child abuse comes with all kind of horrible damage to ones own psycho-sexual development.

you are 28 and post a pic of some child doll you wish to be? poor you. To me you are just a victim of child sexual abuse due to exposure to never before in human history available super extreme niche porn.
>>
>>19199075
An inner girl can dream.
>>
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>>19199077
>>
>>19199123
it's never gonna happen but i just fantasize about something like it happening a lot
>tfw no magic timeline shift that leads to me being a cute girl
>>
>>19198796
>This rare type of gender dysphoria is limited to fe-
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>>19199445
Hmmmm
>>
Guess who just lost her phone data and moved house beyond my will.
>>
>>19199668
Not me, I hope!
That sucks anon, stay strong.
>>
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good morning agpgen
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>>19201019
it's a pretty bad morning, seems to be another day where i start to feel nothing but frustration towards my male body
>>
>>19201019
Good morning! Only ten more days until my second laser session and I am excited!
>>
Why do people rag on the sissy thing so much on these boards? Playing around with sartorial femininity whilst not thinking you're actually a woman seems eminently more sensible than the alternative.
>>
>>19201211
From my experience it seems that only the ugliest and least self-aware people are into it, it reveals the inherent maleness of AGP and sex = bad! because religion and the collective delusion that the human race are creatures who are civilised and are distinct from the beastly vestiges of the animal kingdom from which we came.
>>
>>19201211
Personally, seeing sissy stuff mostly gave me dysphoria, because it used to remind me how a man can never be cute. In fact, that's the main reason I decided to start HRT, because I couldn't bear masculinizing any further.
Regarding what's "sensible", I'm with >>19177515. HRT is something that can be done, and it's something that helps me bear with my body. As apparently many others, I still don't see myself as a woman most of the time, though I don't see myself as a man either. I do think I'm trans, and I do feel like it'd be better to feel like a woman (because on the rare occasions that I do, life seems much easier), and I think I can get there.
Maybe that isn't sensible to you, but I feel like that's the order many trannies here follow (1. I can't be a man, 2. why not take HRT, 3. guess I'm trans, 4. why not go all the way and change my name).
>>
>>19199077
Anon you're replying to, I'll bite.

>start fapping to anime characters?
I don't really fap to characters often, I primarily use my imagination to be the girl. Sometimes I read doujins or see images and then fap, but not much fapping to.
>Maybe you fucked up your brain and sexuality before puberty?
If I did, I wouldn't know.
>Wishing to be a cute cartoon character is a paraphilic, immature fantasy
I am absolutely aware of this.
>Your generation
I don't get behind lumping a whole generation together but sure, I'm mindfucked on many levels. I know that much.
>Hope the following generations will be sheltered from this extreme fetish porn
I have bad news for you.
>Porn porn porn
Again, I never used porn as a kid. At the very least, not until my 20s did I even seek out TG/TSF content, and I still primarily use imagination.
>Child abuse
You're fuckin' whack, but I wasnt abused as a kid. If anything, my parents were divorced and generally not home, and my mom has an emotionally manipulative and emotionally abusive boyfriend who kept the house afloat. But I wasn't the victim of any physical or sexual abuse.

>some child doll you wish to be
That was a reaction image, bro. If we're talking girls I'd like to be...Alexis/Asuka was the girl I imagined being as a kid, but more passively than anything. I still would have rather been Kaiba, but I for sure had (mostly) sexual thoughts of being Alexis.
>>
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>>19196972
Based
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>>19201211
I hate boomers and that's what most sissies are.
>>
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Good morning!
...still not a bunnygirl (or any kind of girl) this day as well.
>>
>>19201211
I dislike it because it takes something I find wonderful and ideal and turns it into a degrading punishment. It seems completely backwards to me.
>>
>>19202566
Asian girls are peak homosapian performance

>also those upvotes
I still maintain that all guys are AGP, but only a few actually obsess over and run with it.
>>
>>19202566
kek, I remember leaving a like on this comment too. The original video is deleted tho so cant confirm
>>
>>19174847
Literally same, sure I get a better kick out of a feminization doujin or somth but if there is a girl I just always self-insert as her. Maybe I should fap less and to some more nice material, like a nicely picked doujin, some erotica or a proper eroge.
>>
>>19201211
sissy content focuses heavily on the humiliation/shame aspect of AGP, which is fine if you're into that but most of the people in these threads already feel shame for being AGP and as such, tend to not enjoy being shamed further for how they feel. I can't say how people would feel about more supportive content though.
>>
>>19164713
This probably makes that one guy who fucking lives on this board and spam posts those “AGP discussion should be banned!” threads oh so mad.
>>
>>19206545
Personally, I love wholesome feminization. Nothing degrading, nothing disgusting, just one person helping another blossom.
>>
>>19201019
who is this poster and who is this character?
>>
>>19206660
That's anon, and that's the pancake girl.
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>>19206810
Pretty sure it's not just pancakes. Seen that poster poster her in various different activities as well.
>>
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>>19201211
Sissy stuff bothers me for similar reasons drag does but dramatically worse. Drag makes a mockery of something pleasant and plays it up to a grotesque extreme. Sissy does that, but does it by uncomfortably infantilizing the man, and constantly reminding him that he is a man and thus not only socially lower than woman but socially lower than other men by presenting as a woman, and it's usually against their will no less. It's degrading and basically takes the thing that turns you on and jams you in the eye going "you will NEVER really be that, and you are subhuman for wanting it."

Like, fuck, if I just wanted to be treated like shit for my sexual turnons, I'd tell my parents about them. That's free and doesn't subject me to terrible writing and horrid artstyles at the same time.

>>19206660
It's Yamato from Kancolle. Cute, but not the best girl.
>>
>>19205026
But they often have flat chests (even the cisgirls)
>>
Man, being an AGP when you know you aren't ever going to try this shit in the real world is fucking BORING.
>>
>>19205365
>but if there is a girl I just always self-insert as her.

It's funny I sort of
>imagine being her bf
>imagine being her gf
>imagine being her

all with like different scenarios, feelings,etc

and mostly only in anime, 3D girls are too dull

Yeah fapping isn't required at all, especially once you get more comfy with these feelings I think
>>
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>>19207383
lucid dreaming my man, bonus is that once you git gud at it you can also enjoy all your non-sexual/non-AGP fantasies
>>
>>
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>>19207383
>tfw schizoid and generalised anxiety disorder cis agp
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>>19207561
You stalk me enough digitally. Can I have some privacy when I sleep?
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>>19207597
huh?

you mean AGP?

if you dont wanna do it then don't idk lol
>>
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>>19207592
Are you literally me anon?

Wait you can't be you didn't mention agoraphobia, be glad, that is the one thing you really don't ever want.
>>
>>19207212
You have a really good point femdom written by faggots is awful. It's the only way to get straight ass is have them already turned on and a woman in the room. Honestly I don't know how a ''bull'' gets off to it and thinks highly of themself.

>but

If they are femme supremacists who lez out without male bulls that's hot
>>
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>>19207624
You memba this meme
>>
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>>19207698
no but I feel this feel

wish it was easier
>>
Is Tony here? We should be working together Tony. https://youtu.be/4yrcrmOCTL0
>>
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i'm really into the bride-like slut aesthetic.
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>>19208067
I hope I can be a bride someday. Not a slut though, a cute and wonderful bride.
>>
>>19207592
wow me except I'm schizotypal. somebody relates to what it's like to be me, how sad.
>>
>>19208264
>schizotypal
Oh yeah I tick all those boxes too. Pain^2.
>>
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Idk. My interactions with trans people make me convinced that transitioning is a trap cult. Literally every single trans community that I have ever seen is mentally insane. This makes me think that the real reason people are transitioning is because they have some sort of other mental problems.
>>
>>19210171
They do have a mental problem, gender dysphoria. No "cult" talked me into this, I was praying to God that I would wake up female before I even knew what a tranny was. The pills make me less depressed, less anxious, more focused - and if you gave them to a normal man, he would not feel that way at all. We are fundamentally damaged human beings doing our best.
>>
>>19164713
Anyone think men are transitioning because of society's weird prescriptions we've made on men. Women have a lot of freedom to express themselves however they want. Men have to be one way or people think they are gross.
>>
Quite an offensive post:

>>19210171
I can't help but ponder that AGP / sexual inversion is some sort of self-destruct button that nature makes purposefully comorbid with other mental disorders as to not propagate genetically dead-ended individuals who'll produce toxic lineages which'll burden the species.

That's what I think on the bad days. On the good days I think AGP sapphism 'becoming what you love' is weirdly wholesome and perhaps nature's way of obsolescing the excess sexual dimorphism. The future is androgynous by design for sure.
>>
>>19210242
ok and could be placebo. Seems to check out.
>>
>>19209828
classic dead manga
>>19207581
nice taste
>>
>>19210274
What is the evolutionary advantage to everyone being androgynous? Plus morality doesn't come from biology. I think I'm some form of non-cognitivist. Morality is only what we make.
>>
>>19210256
That's certainly a contributing factor. I know FtMs who are fine with not really transitioning because they can already express themselves as they like and T wouldn't do as much for them as people lead on to think.

Men lack the luxury both physically and in society.
>>
>>19207383
is our best hope virtual reality?
https://www.euronews.com/living/2020/04/30/revolutionary-new-device-simulates-the-feeling-of-touch-in-virtual-reality
I recently saw this but I don't know how much work needs to be done for agp stuff
>>19207533
anon, are you me?
>>19207561
>tfw aphantasiac
i-is it over for me???
>>
>>19210274
>produce toxic lineages which'll burden the species.
t. literal nazi
>>
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I read an article about when baby will start kicking during pregnancy. This was a bad idea, I had to stop and do my best to not cry. Why are some people are blessed with ability to birth new life to this world and I do not.
>>
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>some days I get insanely jealous of women and their bodies, wish I had the some features (wide hips, thin waist, etc)
>other days I could not care one bit about what specific features I do or don't
I can't tell what's depression or agp or what else
feels like I'm just a concoction of mental illnesses and not a real person. Does this make sense to anyone else?
>>
>>19213114
Yes, that's what I was like pre-HRT. Now it's better, like there's an actual person inside this body, and that she just might be a functional enough person if she tries.
>>
>>19212206
>Why are some people are blessed with ability to birth new life to this world and I do not.
Random chance!
>>
>>19213905
Sad!
>>
>>19164713
Why are men so competitive and forced to participate and do so much?
I don't get it...sometimes I think I only developed gender dysphoria and transition because I wanted to get away from it all.
Why does everything have to be a competition? Life is already so hard.
I don't get people.
>>
>>19213962
just take a relaxing walk outside
ahhhhhhhhhhhh
>>
>>19213987
that outfit would make me extremely uncomfortable.
>>
>>19214000
physically uncomfortable?
or walking around in public uncomfortable.
>>
>>19214056
yes
>>
>>19214132
which is it?
which?
I must know!
>>
>>19214209
all of the above
>>
>>19213962
Simply overhearing men's conversations at the various construction sites I work at reminds me of how little I fit in with these people. Obviously tradesmen take masculine competitiveness to the extreme, and there are plenty of relaxed men in the world, but everything from their tones to their expressions feels alien to me. I understand it well enough to blend in, but I'll never truly fit in.
>>
>>19214229
mhm.
Even more "relaxed" men talk in tones that I was never able embody as well.
Everything is so...I don't know, there's this feeling of compulsive participation and constant machismo insecurity in it.
I was able to play the role, at the cost of myself. It's a strange feeling.
I was wondering if anyone else could relate.
>>
>>19214213
maybe you just need softer fabrics.
so commmmmmmfy
>>
>>19214256
A long sweater-dress and dark pantyhose would be better yeah.
Combined with a nice cape and a beret...that's pretty much my style during winter...
>>
>>19214229
Yeah, the tones. I was never able to mimic the tones. Usually I end up overshooting in boorishness.
>>
i wish i were a girl
>>
>>19214609
we all do
>>
>>19214652
i'm finding it hard to cope but i can't imagine transition being the answer
so instead i'm probably just going to cry again and get angry
>>
https://hitomi.la/doujinshi/sex-change-diary-english-1854345.html
>>
How do y’all feel after you orgasm?
Just came twice in a row and feel like shit, idk why I even go here afterwards
>>
>>19214682
>but i can't imagine transition being the answer
This changes over time.
>>
I seem to have been spared the anatomical dysphoria some of you are taking about. I don't crave pregnancy or periods or that kind of stuff. Mostly just clothes and cute shit. I guess I should be thankful.
>>
>>19215444
Yeah...in a way I'm happy that I can't procreate at all anymore, can never relate to people being in pain because of that.
>>
>>19215444
cute clothes?
>>
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>>19214915
wow, this has like...everything in it.
also lol this part...
I also made captions and stores with this basic idea too, "low fertility nation, needs boys to turn into girls to make more, big facility and training regimen" etc lol.
>>
I am confused.

At no point did I ever indulge in or self insert in porn with vaginas. It was always masc/masc, masc/mtf, or mtf/mtf. I have little-to-no interest in vagina except for having one myself. Although I align with much of the typology. I have been transitioning for almost 2 years and I am consider GRS. My only interest in sexual partners are MtFs or cis-men. Am I some kind of AGAMP turned AGP? I didn't want GRS before starting HRT.

FWIW, I did self insert as the MtFs in porn I watched. Or I would have fantasies of sex with men but I always still had a penis. Lesbian porn does nothing for me at all with two vaginas, with a MtF I can be sort-of into it.
>>
>>19216598
Are you sure you're not HSTS?

It's interesting because my preferences seem to be opposite. I'm moderately masculine. I want GRS more than I want anything else (clothes, social, HRT, etc). My only interest in SOs are tomboyish women or FTMs, and that's also what I self-insert as.
>>
>>19216890
Well, I don't think I can be HSTS if I identify as bisexual. I like pre-op/non-op transwomen. They are women so I identify as bisexual.
>>
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>>19217307
Gender identity and sexual attraction have nothing to do with each other. Don't focus on labels.
>>
maybe if I was androphilic it might make sense to transition. Why would I transition and make myself less desirable to women? I am attracted to women, so I should have a body that attracts women. Your physical appearance is for other people to look at anyway.
>>
>>19169430
This is me but I've been waiting for my parents to die so I can kms because that's like the only thing that can bring be release at this point.
>>
>>19216424
>40 years old Japanese repressor
There's something incredibly sad about that.
>>
>>19219955
Just be a transbian sis
>>
>>19220815
nah they'd be over 50 by now
>>
>>19220852
That's even sadder...
>>
>>19220605
You can still try transition anon :(
>>
>>19213422
so if I don't transition I'm doomed to be miserable?
what a shitty live this is
>>
>>19218366
>Gender identity and sexual attraction have nothing to do with each other.
t. never heard of AGP
>>
>>19220954
Technically you can numb yourself and feel nothing through life, which is different thing from miserable... why would you do that though.
>>
do you relate to this? >>19216777
>>
>>19220831
no, its better to just let it go
>>
>>19220987
>start fantasizing being a girl when I "fap" (prone), look up gender transformation stuff, think all boys are like me
Yes...

That's like #1 indicator of gender dysphoria, the strange masturbation that in retrospect approximates the experience of a girl.
>>
>>19221008
>let it go
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsX6nxwCZ1o
>>
>>19220987
yeah
unfortunately
>>
>>19220987
Yes mostly. I was too sheltered to get the bullying experience and gender wasn't enforced so badly against me. I never thought other boys were like me though and I didn't have an identity crisis despite being depressed, I just thought it's just a fetish.
>>
>>19220967
What the fuck is AGP?
>>
>>19221266
Female sexuality in male body, which may also be accompanied with gender dysphoria (female identity in male body).
>>
>>19221266
ETLI when you like girls.
>>
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>>19169601
I've been wondering if I could be in a gay relationship but I think I would need to get over my revulsion towards my own body to pull that off.

>>19179428
>picrew
Had to look up this one and..
>skip through the tabs to find what it has
>find a bridal gown
>and a passing dress
>find this hands option
>bed background
My boner kept intensifying the whole time I was making it. Why am I like this..
>>
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>>19221930
Making a more girly me in picrew always gives me a boner, it's fun and cute that the little guy likes it so much.
>>
>>19213940
Such is life!
>>
>>19169601
I've thought about it because getting dick sounds hot, even though i don't really find men attractive
but I have horrific anxiety and hate myself so I've never tried to date in my life
>>
making a silly new gen



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