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File: Beshtiya.jpg (1.59 MB, 2927x1816)
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/k/omrades! I am happy to announce that our Se/k/ret Santa gift exchange is back for another year, and signups are now open at https://sekretsanta.com!

Batch 2 matches have been released. Feel free to hype up your target or ask questions in the thread. REMEMBER OPSEC use initials/nickname and state/country. Do not post tracking info.

Signups for batch 3 are ongoing.

> What is Se/k/ret Santa?
Se/k/ret Santa is a /k/ gift exchange that we've run for several years. After signing up you will be matched with a target whom you will send a gift to, and a santa who will send a gift to you.

> How will I be matched?
Signups are matched within both a batch and a tier. Just like last year we have four batches, the first one that opens NOW and closes for signups November 7th. We have the same tiers as last year as well, but the tiers offer a price target instead of a price range.

> Where can I learn more?
The official event page is https://sekretsanta.com/events/4/ and you can find all the info you'll need here. Check out the Battle Plan, Overview and FAQ tabs on this page.

> Where can I sign up?
Click the Sign Up button on https://sekretsanta.com/events/4/ to get started!

This event has been awesome for several years in a row now, so let's make this another good one!
Mail Big Boss at bigboss@sekretsanta.com with any questions. Now go sign up!

Previous thread
>>51131356
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Batch 3 matches can't come soon enough.
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Hey keltech in Florida
I hope you got everything, you haven't replied to any of my posts but I hope everything showed up.
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situational update : binland i seriously hope you didnt go full assburger with the packaging because it appears i will have to pick it up personally lMaO, its in country and i can not wait
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>>51172468
Calvin in Texas your gift is coming along nicely. Amazon lost two items and had to reship so we’re waiting for those.
>>
big boss i have some gifts so far, waiting on others to deliver, eta is monday for just 1 and some others are still waiting to ship.
>>
>>51172658
it should be ok unless they open it and google what retail prices of the things inside actually are, which might juust go over the 75 eur limit
>>
>>51173045
holy fuck man i seriously hope you didnt spend your hard earned spurdo money on that
>>
>>51173045
ps. holy crap is surplus expensive now
>>
>>51173064
a lot of it has begun to dry out, DPM specifically, but on the other hand MTP and multicam are cheaper than ever even if im a camo boomer, but really i hope you didnt spend too much money man dont make me feel spoiled
>>
>>51173119
yeah I have a lot of DPM myself, I use it when hunting. A lot of it came unused in factory wrappings: windproof jacket and trousers, rain suit, all caps, many shirts

They are now all gone or triple the price
>>
>>51173205
im pretty sure most of it went to ukraine lol, right now i think austrian surplus will be a bargain because theyre introducing the baby barf camo, also if you ever need more DPM let me know because a local store sometimes gets a batch or two
>>
R. H. From Ohio.
The tracking code says that it arrived, could you confirm it? If it did, I hope you enjoy it and that everything fits you.
>>
>>51172468
>e/k/ret Santa 2021
Not saying you fucked up a little, but the 's' is missin'.
>>
>>51172862
>Amazon lost two items and had to reship
not this guy but had something similar happen
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>>51173894
>>
>>51173723
Tracking for me says it's supposed to deliver today, but not that it delivered, and I haven't gotten anything. Maybe they took it off back to the post office for pickup and it hasn't updated for me yet. I'm sure it'll fit and I'll enjoy it though, but I might just actually wait till Christmas to find out.
>>
Net from Kansas City, any particular MREs you want? Freshly issued, menus A&B, they uhh fell off a truck.
>>
TM of the UK, I am pleased to announce that I have finally shipped your shit and have posted the tracking info. Told you I wasn't gonna grinch you. Hopefully I got everything down accurately on the shipping info. I know I caught myself fucking up your postal code, but fixed it, and everything should be peachy otherwise so long as it was legible.
>>
>>51174336
Santa's coming to town, much obliged komrade
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>>51172468
Cowboy brownells emailed me back today to get me to sign papers promising where not avoiding their export fees. They still have not shipped. I have added another tracking number for another part of you gift(probably the best part Mr.M always delivers)
>>
>>51174053
Alright fair enough. Just notify me when you got it.
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>>51174602
It's gonna end up being 4 or 5 packages. Sorry for the postal bombardment.
>>
>>51174436
Fuck year, lad. Hope you enjoy.
>>
>>51174748
>Sorry for the postal bombardment
not a problem. I appreciate the diligence.
>>
Im doing another round. Someone who likes shirts/jackets/whatever the shit better like what I've got to send!
>>
AHHHH Ruger is taking forever to ship my shit, I want to be a good Santa, dammit!!!
A from CA, your box may be late, I apologize in advance! However, some of your stuff did show up today, so we're off to a start. I'm going shopping for the rest in person soon
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>>51174181
I'm not picky. Anything is good bud!
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So is sending bottle of my piss, bathwater, and used tampons that out of line?
Like theyre going to be wax sealed and treated as actual hazmat so the target can pitch them if they arent serious
>>
>>51176225
bathwater would be the furthest I'd go, out of common human decency
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>>51176225
why would u do that to a fellow santa participant
>>
>>51176225
>if they aren't serious
?did your target ask for this
>>
>>51172468
Haven't seen my santa post yet. Im AM from nova scotia.
>>
Is USPS really the cheapest international shipping?
>>
I want in.
What are gift ideas /stuff that's good for this ect.
>>
>>51177172
Is there a way I can prove I'm above the 250 entry point without previous entry? I have a good gift idea but it's pricish.
>>
>>51172468
I want that dear skull sticker where do I get it?
>>
>>51177193
our resident Yuropoor sells them
>>
>>51177335
I can't find them on his site
>>
>>51177182
The prices are guidelines. You can always go over if you don't mind that you may spend 250 and get a 100 in return. I think most, but not all, people go over the minimum by a fair bit
>>
this sounds really fun, but do yall really give out your address? seems like a bad idea
>>
>>51177136
Generally, yes. And that's not saying much. But it gets there in about the same time as UPS/FedEx, as long as you send it Priority International. That's how my experiences sending have been.
>>
>>51177193
It's a patch, not a sticker.
>>
>>51177182
>>51178077
My guy from 2 years ago probably doubled the $100 tier I was in, I went over by maybe $30/$40. I didn't get around to joining last year and won't be bashful with my mark.
>>
>>51179042
won't be bashful with my mark this year*.
>>
>>51173999
Well played, bird nigger
>>
>>51173999
Checked and based.
>>
>>51164857#

Looking forward to it mate and no stress about shipping, it’s all was hectic this time of year, hope you didn’t go to wild.
>>
>>51176225
As long as they're baked into brownies
>>
>>51172468
Corey, if you wanna go ahead and open it im good with that. Im getting ready to go to work, and i was gonna open mine when i got off work today.
>>
>>51176316
yes
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Luke in Ontario, forgot to mention before but try to avoid opening until the unboxing thread. There's a little something in there for the /k/ommandos :).
>>
>both the package I sent and the package I'm receiving are stuck at my country's customs
why
>>
>>51176225
Participating in Se/k/ret degenerate this year?

Holy shit I hope they have to open it in front of friends and family.
>>
>>51178210
Bad idea, yes.
Fun idea, yes.
>>
Lads, what are some good ideas for box art? I'm not very creative, but I want my target to have the dubious enjoyment he's hoping for.
Also, really no problem with shipping if the outside of the box is covered with art?
>>
>>51179997
The /k/ommando mantra
>>
>>51180010
furry dicks
furry dicks cumming bullets
If you can do this, you can also make money making furry dick nfts
>>
TN from Nevada, your stuff has been acquired & lies in a glorious pile. Need to get a box (which might prove the bigger challenge), shipping out tomorrow or Friday. The food items I'll leave in a plastic bag to keep them from having that sexy, musky milsurp smell. I think you'll like it, and I think I sized pretty well, you having a slightly smaller chest than myself, so I've modelled all of it on my sexy body. Will do so again now, in the nude. xoxo
>>
>>51172468
Calvin in Texas

You said “nothing illegal” and you don’t drink.

Want some Delta 8 gummies? They aren’t illegal but they will get you high.
>>
>>51180896
A little preview of something I made for my target.
>>
>>51180936
>>51180896
those are still illegal in some places
My fed job warned me against them, saying to avoid anything cannabis related no matter how good sounding it is
>>
>>51181014
Land of the free TM
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>>51181240
yes, drug free
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>>51178210
if you think this is fun you should try a /k/ meeting
Honestly lots of fun. And autism
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>>51180894
Critical update:
I have sorted your packaging, but I sure hope you're ready to be one of Honecker's finest?

Either way, would this count as NSFW if I just did it over with cling film & slapped an address on?? Opinions, fellas?
>>
>>51181464
I feel terrible I wasnt able to nsfw frens package I sent
>>
Dear ustaški santa i dont bealive krajina is croatian but your gift is fucking amazing i love it and i love you next time you kill jews take me along
>>
>>51181479
My recipient has stated they don't want it to be explicit, so I wonder if some good ol' NVA camo is revealing his power level.
>>
>>51181484
post pics pederu
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>>51175355
Gotcha king.
>>
>>51178077
As a broke schmuck who didn't read the 250-1000 price bracket this year, I'm probably gonna be hovering around the 7-800 field if I can't find another near item for my incredibly cryptic Target.
>>
Smith, Joe, one each, on Park St., standby to copy incoming traffic:
> Last bits of swag are trapped in USPS' incapable hands
> I'm sending two parcels: one today (24 Nov)
> 2nd parcel to go out probably Monday or whenever USPS can find one fuck to give
> I've included liquor in first parcel to make this easier on you
> 1st parcel includes 11 (or maybe 9) wrapped presents, ranging from tiny to large
> open outer box, find liquor, seek solace
Again, sorry for the hassle. Pics for positive ID of parcel #1 to follow under separate cover.
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>>51182443
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>>51182449
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>>51182457
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>>51182468
image 4 of 4
transmission ends

> connection closed by foreign host...
>>
>>51182189
whats the scrap copper price in your area
t. europe
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K Hernandez in TX- Your stuff just went out via UPS.

Also question for the beeg boss, are we matched 1 to 1? Like do you and your "target" exchange gifts or is that not the case?
>>
>lots of alt accounts for OP
se/k/rit s/k/am 2021
>>
>>51183161
Wat
>>
>>51183136
Matches aren't 1 to 1. A ships to B who ships to C etc. Not a full and random circle, but sorted by a few different criteria. There are a few cases of direct matching every year when there's only two guys to match in a batch/tier/region but that's mostly a rare thing. For those who get an intercontinental target they also get an intercontinental santa.
>>
>>51183161
Big Boss popped the cherry for the first thread. I'm doing my best to keep the threads going now but some hot looking and vigilant kommando stepped up and set up the previous thread when duty called. If you're pointing to the subject typo I just fucked up while copy pasting on my phone while I was in bed.
>>
EM from the UK, this is EQ from Canada, your Christmas gift cleverly disguised as a brick of cocaine has been received, thanks bud
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>>51183311
Sweet, thanks m8.
>>
MX from Montreal, your package should have arrived. Pls don't let me get grinched like last year. Hope you like autistic packaging
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R. L. from the great state of Virginia your box is almost ready to be dropped off. Got it filled up with some weird shit, some nice shit and something that fits what you wished for. I sort of forgot what tier it was and may have got a bit over board. Just have to man up and pay the shipping goblins the $45 they want tomorrow. I hope you enjoy it when it gets there. Merry Christmas friend!
>>
Hey boss, can you reach out to my person? Their packages said they arrived but they haven't posted in the thread or marked it received on the site.
Its from batch 1, keltechretard from florida,
Thanks
>>
I won't be able to participate this year but I'll be back next year anons. Good luck and God bless
>>
SK of Binghamton
i'm almost done putting your gifts together. i've contacted big boss to get him know. it will be sent out monday. sorry friend, losing a day to thanksgiving and sunday, and being sent to night shift, and traveling out of town for a few days really threw a wrench in my plan. i have some nice things for you and i think you'll be happy with your gifts.
>>
>>51174713
It's supposedly delivered, but it isn't at my place nor did I see it at anyone on my street's door. Going to check the post office.
>>
page 8 bamp
>>
>>51182481
>>51182468
>>51182457
>>51182449
>>51182443
i cant wait thanks anon
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>>51185752
>i cant wait thanks anon
Open the box, there's two letters inside:
> a "don't open until opening presents" letter -- best read after you open the goodies as it explains the rationale behind each present
> a "sorry the USPS fucked up, enjoy this liquor" letter -- open, read, and drink as you see fit
Sorry for the hassle.
>>
Hey MM in the UK, did you receive my parcel? Tracking tells me it's been delivered
>>
Bamp

Also I should really edit my entry before the 28th, if the missus sees some kommando's autistic markings on the outside she may have questions for me. I don't like questions.
>>
TPT in Texas, your package is off!
>>
Jarman of Colorado
The last thing came for your package. I will be able to ship it out on Friday!
Regarding the other two packages and this one. You can open them before Christmas, all I ask is that you wait to open them all together.
>>
Page 8 bampeth.
>>
anyone use p.o. boxes for this?
>>
>>51187920
One of my targets last year did. I think most people use their home address though, and keep in mind you can't FedEx or UPS things to a PO Box.
>>
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Nearing the end of the sign-up period for the Box Barrage of batch 3. Note that we will not be matching outside geographic regions. There's a high likelyhood of being bumped down tiers to ensure a match if you live outside the U.S.

Shipping deadline for Batch 2 is also looming. Make sure you get those gifts underway. For those who've received their boxes, make sure you go to the site and mark that you've received.
>>
>>51187920
I do, and I think I had a target do as well last year.
>>
Alex of British Columbia, what would you prefer as a camo pattern, British DPM or Brit MTP? I was going to send you a DPM one, but then someone reminded me that apparently DPM isn't all that uncommon in Canada. Bear in mind I'll be sending you other kit in MTP.

Also I was gonna send some British food items, anything in particular you'd like? Jaffa cakes, Branston pickle, Marmite?
>>
SWE anon from batch 1 pick up your box
also you might get another box, but i am still waiting for few things
>>
Alan from Emuland, VB County, your Package is apparently still in Germany:
>2021-11-18 11:27 FRANKFURT (DE), GERMANY, Cleared and awaiting international departure

I don't know whats going on, just be patient, i hope it'll work out soon
>>
Might sign up for batch 4 if I hear back from this job in applied for.
Right now I'd only be able to pick a low tier but that's lame so hopefully everything comes through and I'll be able to put myself down for 100 or something
>>
>>51173999
You silly silly man
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this was a very awesome gift that i couldnt wait to open, it looks like it will be a cold winter so the hats will definitely be useful and the canteen is going in my vest, i haven tried the sweets yet but i assume they will be just as good, merry pre-Christmas my mongolian friend and thanks once again, i really like what you gathered for me including the neck onahole and if theres anything i can help you get from the region or whatever be sure to ask big boss for my contact
>>
My box is covered in furry porn. Does USPS allow this or should I censor it?
>>
>batch one target never posted innathread
o well, maybe he'll show up in the unboxing threads
I'd better send him his second package soon too
>>
>>51184750
Fugg. I hope you find it.
>>
>>51183760
I fucked up and forgot to add your card to the box. Was so busy stuffing dried cod into it I managed to overlook it. Box is so stuffed the tail might be sticking out. Fingers crossed that US customs has officers with strong noses.

Merry Christmas mate, and Happy Birthday when your day arrives. I'm gonns bother you again when unboxing threads pop up.
>>
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>>51189651
ha I knew it - you're most welcome. Its the same canteen in this pic, earlier this year. In a exercise in Lapland. Great change to my usual everyday life in the office. I have a handful more canteens left.

The brown cookies are traditional christmas gingerbread and 2 others are christmas-y too. Finally salty liquorice is very popular here but might taste quite alien to you. Personally I love it and the ones you now have are entry tier and not too salty at all. :) Merry xmas
>>
>>51189300
Yeah, I've been staring at the tracking info like a crackhead on the sidewalk stares at exposed wallets but no update. Hopefully there's no reason for glowies to intercept the package... right?
>>
>>51189754
It's basically a shipping requirement if you don't cover it in furry porn usps might just send it back. Also an effective camo for shipping accross boarders most normies won't look to closely at it.
>>
>>51172468
Inge Wido in Ohio. your parcel has been made and will be mailed tommorow. happy thaksgivig.
>>
>>51192928
are you estonian? If so i need your camo and will pay pretty high fees for it.
>>
TN in Nevada - the courier I'm trying to use requires a recipient phone number (seems like) - I've reached out ti Big Boss about it. If you're not comfortable providing one, I'll try sending it with either zeros or my (foreign) one. Should still be deliverable & trackable.
>>
>>51192994
Goddamn i did everything i could to keep it legal. I guess the describtion of the inside is just too sus, it's basically a german themed S.T.A.L.K.E.R. kit
>>
>>51193198
varusteleka.fi ships to usa
>>
>>51192928
i really enjoyed the licquorice actually even though my teeth didnt, i am a psychopath that will eat an entire bag of fishermans friend classic on my own though, how does mobilization work in your cunt?
>>
>>51172468
Cowboy brownells finally shipped I added the tracking. Now I just gotta get down to the post office and mail the final part.
>>
Happy Thanksgiving, gents.
>>
>>51193215
they dont sell estonian camo. Nobody does. It doesn't leave their country.
Next time try to look up why someone is asking for something specific.
>>
East german anon, its west Canada man, I've got most of your stuff and sending it soon!
>>
>>51186746
FUCK.

I forgot to include something, you're gonna get another package later.
>>
>>51188950
I will get it tomorrow! Seems postnord forgot to tell me it arrived. Shocking
>>
>>51193432
next time try use your eyesight. I dont think camos of the other Baltic countries are sold anywhere but Eesti camo you can find at galvilinda.ee. They really dont want to meet Alpha or Vympel or civilians wearing the exact same camo they use themselves. I think its similar situation with the new Mexican camo and cartels they fight. With the others I suppose your best bet is in trying to find someone who is ready to "lose" some of his issue clothing.
>>
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>>51172862
Nice thanks man, srry I didn't respond it's been a busy week for me
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>>51193540
LATPAT is incinerated in a village where, at least a couple years back, in rain you'd see everyone in LATPAT gtx. That said I still see the point.
>>
>>51193432
Looks just like cadpat. I don't blame them for stealing its one of the few things we do right that and the sas uppers. Had a fucking pre order in for the next batch right before our bann.
>>
>>51193780
That and the c7a3s where looking pretty good. Some frens where trialing them pic lost pic with my old phone though.
>>
Coming back for my third year in a row, almost didn't sign up in time because I'm so busy.
Ready to spend way too much on another gift.
Ave nex alea
>>
>>51165675


James from BC,

Package has shipped! The gift might require some sanding but I'm sure you'll love it
>>
>>51183659
Received your package, couldn't have asked for more! I'll be sure to get a gun for all those rounds

Love the 12 gauge "shots"
>>
>>51179807
Oh shit. I haven't opened mine yet. I dont want to be the first kommando to open but I've seen others have.
>>
will ship tomorrow. One of you is in for a wholesome surprise
>>
>>51194936
the people who "didn't" open their packages yet already have, took a bunch of pictures, and will pretend in a month that the opened it on Christmas day. Don't be fooled. I bet only 1% of people who participate actually wait until Christmas.
>>
>>51196804
Good point. I wish I opened my gift early last year so I could have ordered a holster for my pistol with the new light sooner.
>>
>>51186746
Awesome! Glad you’re feeling better and happy thanksgiving Santa!
>>
>>51196804
I open mine at the stroke of midnight on Christmas
>>
page 9 bampito
>>
Still waiting for my Batch 1 Santa to ship... sad bump
>>
>>51193254
When Putin's Napoleon complex gets out of hand I will be called and then I drive to wherever I'm needed to lead some poor bastards into the grinder. Nothing happening here so far so I suppose the current affair is mostly bluffing and trying to get into better gas price and sanctions negotiation position vs. EU, episode X.
>>
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Alex of British Columbia, me again, afraid I'm not going to be able to ship by the end of this week, but it should be on its way by Wenesday latest next week. If you want more info HMU on Discord:
Big Ash#7699
>>
>>51199045
You are not the only one, but it is understandable having such a short time to prepare gift
>>
>>51199078
Yes i guess i have to train myself in patience
>>
>>51199133
Also you will not open early if you don't have something to open
>>
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>>51193206
TN in Nevada - town E
Fuck it, I shipped it with a dodgy US burner number that I pay for weekly. Probably just got scammed by pajeet.

Incoming via FedEx in US, eta I got is 5 days - but maybe don't hold yer breath. Tracking numbers provided to BB.
>>
>>51193780
I will fucking kill someone for an IUR upper. I don't even care just send me one for the love of everything decent. I NEED the goddamn L119a2 in my life. I refuse to buy any ARs until I have the l119a2.
>>51193540
Very well aware my friend hence at every opportunity I do ask about it. Galvilinda.ee is copy/airsoft quality. Its not real camo so I don't really care for that. I do however know the actual manufacturer of your uniforms and have talked to them and they'll allow to send me 1 item of each of their pieces but they will not let me buy enough for resale. Their shipping is also like 200 dollars its insane but whatever I'll nut up and eat it. Mind you I do have current mexican camo though and it looks really close to yours there and that's my favorite.
>>
>>51184038
All well fren, excited!
>>
tabh3366911 package to be delivered today, I hope you're ready stalker
>>
>>51199064
despite being what i am i respect finns for never ever backing down, i agree with you about whats happening too, russia is doing geopolitical shit and ukraine is baiting for more gibs, your gift was very much appreciated and send a message to nexit@getnada.com if theres anything i can help you with
>>
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>>51188950
Package recieved!
Are there any perishable stuff inside or can I wait for christmas?
>>
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Shaun of Ohio. Going out today. I hope Gabby loves it.
>>
>>51200739
Only chocolate can melt anything else should be good till unboxing day.
Also wait for second box, i will update when i will ship it
>>
JZ from VAI BRAZIL NUMERO UNO

Bad news. Package after almost 2 weeks of bumbling around the world is being sent back. I don't know reason why.
I'm going to cry rn.
But I promise, I will send it to you again.
>>
>>51201252
I fucking hate fedex they can suck my dick, lost $400 to just have my package not arriving to my match.
>>
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I am officially registered for Batch 3, /k/omrades.
Now I will wait...
>>
Coco in Tempe, I just shipped your package. I hope you enjoy piss and shid. Sorry i didnt take any pics i was in a rush.
>>
>>51183136
Aawww yeaaahhh. The tracking came out weird but I believe you.
>>
R. H. From Ohio did you manage to find the package? The tracking code says that it's at the post office.
>>
>>51200741
>>51200741
Ohhhh I hope she loves it.
>>
>>51199646
Really excited man! Thanks for putting in the time.

To A in London, I just shipped off your package today. The manager should be updated with tracking. I forgot to take pictures of the package and I do apologize. But I promise it is on the way!
>>
>>51201252
>>51201431
Mate, I just got home from work and it's the first thing I saw, I'm so angry right now.
And the package I sent to the Netherlands is still in customs limbo. Very frustrating.
I was having a good day today. Was.
>>
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>>51201867
That's where it was, friend. Package received! Like the generous use of duct tape. Probably won't open it early, even stuck tape over the contents list so I wouldn't know what was inside.
>>
>>51202741
I think I know what happened. I will send it again, this time via UPS, because it's less shit it appears.
The issue was... the Customs Declaration. To be exact : the worth. It had to low value. Instead of $1 it was 1 PLN, which is like $0.20.
Fuck fedex tho, your package is going to be... a little late.
>>
>>51202516
Yeah no dramas mate, I'm looking forward to it! Anything in there needing to be opened early, or can I wait till Christmas?
>>
>>51203026
I received stuff in April before, the lateness is fine. But can you really not use the normal mail? Everything I bought outside the country came in fine. And maybe put like $40 value.
>>
>>51202797
I'm glad to hear that. I don't mind if you open it early since some things might be helpful for winter ;). I hope you enjoy the gifts.
>>
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A in North Jersey, it's your Santa, check the website for the tracking number, I just shipped. Signature is required so make sure you're home God damn it.
>>
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>>51204177
Santa!
I just got the email. I'm super excited! Do you want me to wait till Christmas, or can I open it? It's your call!
>>
John W got your package
you tell me when I should open it
>>
>>51204360
also I just seen my guy Ian V in kansas should have received my gift, if any issues plz let me know
>>
GH in California, you're gift's almost done. I'll be shipping it out tomorrow.
>>
Glyn from Ohio, I'm shipping yours out tomorrow. Sorry that I'm shipping a day before the deadline, but I'm sure you'll enjoy what I got & made for ya.
>>
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Box art ideas anyo8sne?
>>
>>51203082
Everything inside should be good to go if you wait until Christmas.
>>
>>51204211
Its up to you man, it's your gift after all. Whatever you do, just enjoy and have fun.
>>
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>>51205185
>Box art ideas anyo8sne?
>>
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>>51205185
>Box art ideas
>>
>>51206268
you sound like a bitter faggot with no frens
>>
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Batch 1 box arrived.
> from KK in TX
My dog damn near peed on it.
Box is under the tree now. Wife is very suspicious.
> gentle shaking suggests liquid inside
> Hoppe's or lube or liquor?
>>
>>51206268
how is it a scam?
>>
>>51204373
this pidgeon beer is delicious & the ti lite is more than i could have ever asked for. i love you anon (homo). however i am still on my way to club you to death.

arkansasanon i am shipping ur shit out tomorrow. hope u like bullshit!
>>
>>51207109
Assuming this is Colorado anon. Oh I love bullshit, sorry about not getting your package out sooner. I was gonna send it a couple days ago but got sick. Gonna send it out this Monday.
>>
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>>51172468
You and your glownigger store are one of the biggest fed honeypots ive ever seen.
>>
>>51206294
>Hoppe's or lube or liquor?
>imagine not using the same liquid for all three
You should have gotten another box on Monday-ish too, from Florida. They were faster shipping than stupid UPS ground. Please confirm, over.
>>
>>51208015
>implying glowies can't already get all your info if they want
>>
>>51208015
Wow i didnt know theres a se/k/ret santa store..
Fuck off newfag
>>
>>51208211
>implying that glowies don't already have all your info
>>
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One more day to Batch 3!
Still waiting for my package to get on airplane and still waiting for my Santa to ship but we good!
>>
>>51200133
thanks for the offer. With the mailing fees being what they are I'm not sure what special would make sense to be mailed and not pay an arm and a leg. And I just used black friday offers to refill my ammo coffers ha
>>
>>51209082
>used black friday offers to refill my ammo coffers
The warrior poet
>>
>Must ship by Sunday
>Post office closed Sunday
>I'm hunting today
Should have made it Monday 2 of my gifts haven't arrived yet fucking lazy post office niggers
>>
>>51209276
Feel this in my soul.

Going to a mail store I hope
>>
>>51208015
Beshtiya isn't part of the Sekret Santa per se. He usually doesn't even participate himself. He's just a very fine gentleman and one of several great friends of the /k/ community and the Sekret Santa event who loves sharing some joy and Christmas spirit by donating some rad merch.
>>
SD from Edmonton, sorry bro but package won’t go out till Monday, US Postal service is shit
>>
Shoutout to the tiniest guy in Barbarossa for batch 3. You're the only twink signed up there so far. Second smallest is a firm Large. You know who you are and why this was relevant.
>>
>>51209276
post office is closed but the self service kiosk is open
>>
>>51204360
You can open it now if you want
>>
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>>51209529
>not going to the counter
>not getting to see the look on the fedboi's face when he weighs and puts postage on your box covered in memes about overthrowing the government
why even live?
>>
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>>51207109
sweet glad you like it
also enjoy the glock knife
the outdoor edge blades seem to dull super fast

I also got my stalker survival kit for anon in ok
now if I only had a 74 :(
>>
>>51209589
I figured they will eventually make it here. Wanted to get some mags in case they decide to do another assault weapons ban again
>>
>>51209518
Post his info. We wanna fuck
>>
>>51209518
i'll probably do barbarossa next year when Im eligible
>>
>>51209518
well i guess nobody gets clothes from me then. You can dox me a little, i don't really mind it as i've been here long enough and have self doxed plenty. Puts a bit of an axe in my plans though. Anyone from batch 1 fit the criteria/got grinched or something?
>>
>>51209276
This, 10 days is fucking stupid big cuck
>>
Now paging JB of Latvia.

I shipped your package today. I hope I didn't create to much suspense. Godspeed that it arrives safely.
>>
Sully in 18614: Ordinance away. Expect two (2) packages on or near December 1st. UPS personnel have been warned to not initiate eye contact.
>Box 1 can be opened and gifts displayed under tree if you'd like - Keep box 2 sealed until you are ready for Mass Unboxing.
>>
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>>51208231
Im talking about Beshtiya you fucking cretin

>>51209459
Oh yes hes a very fine gentleman, quite a great nose, friends with many other merchants here on this board. You are retarded. Merry
>>
Max... in SteyrLand, i'm sorry i haven't received all of the presents i ordered so i won't be able to ship before the deadline but don't worry i'll send you a letter with goodies so you can wait the few days until the big thing arrives.
>>
>>51183760
>>51192869
Looking forward to it! Merry Christmas to you as well.

>>51179560
It's shipped! Hope it gets through customs OK and hope you enjoy it. Merry Christmas!
>>
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>>51208202
>You should have gotten another box on Monday-ish too, from Florida
Son of a bitch.
> checks mailbox.
> 404 Package Not Found
> walks a block away
> 302 Found
Fuck.
I live on 1234 85th St. USPS has a soft spot in the head and likes to deliver my parcels (just parcels, not mail) to 1234 86th St.
Package received, Se/k/ret Santa tracker updated.
Thanks anon
(gentle shaking suggests magazines, of the am-u-nish-un variety)
>>
>>51210265
Message received, mate. Nearly had a minor stroke looking up the tracking number - I think we are exchaning pleasantries, as it were. Saw the ZIP I just shipped mine to & got really confused.

Mine is shipping out from Lithuania through Estonia due to Baltic reasons, but don't let that fool ya.
>>
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>>51209518
>Shoutout to the tiniest guy in Barbarossa for batch 3. You're the only twink signed up there so far.
>Second smallest is a firm Large.

I'm the L in batch 3 then, which means two things: first, there's some tiny twink sized manlet who browses /k/, which I believe, and second, I must be the only normal sized person in batch 3, which I also believe. So everyone else is a gigantic hamplanet sized whale, and probably a neckbeard too. In any case, why are you motherfuckers so weird God damn, you bitches need to hit the gym.
>>
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>>51204983
Thank you based concise-poster. I saw you marked shipped with a tracking number, what postal service did you use?
>>
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Well "the metallurgist", your package is in the mail. The nice lady at the post office said to expect it tuesday, but she does work for the government... Anyways, when you get your package please open it immediately, one of the items inside is perishable
>>
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Last day sign up accepted.
>>
>>51211034
Actually you didn't get me. All I know is my package is coming from Germany. I unironically think you got my irl friend in the same city lmao. Small world.
>>
>>51211728
Well there's some light doxing for us all lol
>>
>>51211625
I used UPS. I hope you liked the shit I bought you.
>>
>tfw your package is stuck in customs hell
>>
If I put pic related on box, would Canadian customs be faggots?
>>
>>51212798
They're always faggots
>>
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>>51210986
I specifically requested dicks be drawn on the package, those assholes ignored my request. What is /k/ristmas without packages covered in dicks?
Hopefully both boxes make your holiday merry, even with the notable lack of dicks.
>>
My target is getting grinched
>>
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>>51213318
>What is /k/ristmas without packages covered in dicks?
Excellent point. Sir, enjoy this box of dicks.
(there are two dicks touching, which is totally gay)
>>
This is kenny d from VA, I gots the goods today, should I open?
>>
A in CA, I have almost everything for you, but thanks to USPS, I'm waiting on your final package. Your box will ship out Monday, even if I have to split it into 2 packages. You're not getting grinched, brohan.
>>
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>>51212346
>me too
im ok....
>>
Everyone bitching about customs. I guess I should be happy Canadian cuckstoms processed my package in 2 days.
>>
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>>51215002
head game must be fire
>>
>>51212798
It would get through, I assume, though the image may be mysteriously stained
>>
for the stage 3, no international matches, is that continental? ie as a britfag can i be matched with someone in the EU or am i stuck with a fellow britfag
>>
Hey RL (presumably Robert E Lee) in the great state of Virginia, Irish from batch 1 here, I got your package! Dog bless and Merry /k/ristmas /k/ommando!
>>
>>51215552
Hope you enjoy it. Merry /k/hristmas!
>>
>>51215075
Intercontinental. So Euros will be matched with other Euro.
>>
LR from QC, payload is inbound to the target. Check your HUD at sekretsanta.com for details, should be there Dec. 4th. Sorry for the late ship, I sent it Xpresspost to get it there asap. I'm kinda sad you didn't want dildos but I hope you like what I got you.
>>
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Batch 3 and the Box Barrage is loose! Check your e-mails comrades!

If you're German in Dragoon I sadly couldn't find a match for you. A brave Canadian was also dropped a tier to find a match.
Dynamo is absolutely crawling with madlads from Texas and we have our first APO participant of the year. To whomever is his Santa, it still counts as domestic shipping.

Godspeed all! Watch your sectors and remember to update the site when you send off your fire mission.
>>
Dakota in Texas I have you covered Senpai. If you can give me an initial for last name, the UPS store guy will ask about it.
>>
>>51217802
>If you're German in Dragoon I sadly couldn't find a match for you
it's alright, i sorta already knew what was coming
>>
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>>51217802
Glad to know there are so many fellow Dynamo Texans out there.
>>
>>51218445
S
So now I have to figure out something for someone size large in VA... I was going with jackets so mr. Uncle Phil you are getting one goddamn it. Just not the ones I was hoping to send. You also have a massive wishlist jesus dude someone knows what he wants
>>
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SP in Ohio, prepare your wife's ass. Seriously though it's gonna be a good /k/ristmas. I like sending alcohol in the mail.
https://youtu.be/FXB7WOfuZv8
>>
>>51205062
No worries man
>>
AM of Nictaux, NOVA SCOTIA
I sent out your package on Friday but I have not got the email with your tracking number. I've update the page to mark myself shipped, but I will further update you when I get the tracking information. The place I used normally gives me tracking information within a few hours of me dropping it off via email, but I have no idea why it's taking so long this time.
>>
Digi of CA, your grinch relief is going out soon, by Monday at latest. Sorry it's taken me so long. Will be multiple packages.
>>
Lloyd of San Jose,
> 1. get out of California
> 2. fire mission received
> 3. elves working furiously
> 4. see #1
>>
>>51211703
Message received, standing by to receive.
Should I post the opening when it arrives, or just save the pics for Christmas?
>>
>go all out for my target
>spend well over the minimum with awesome gifts
>pack it with care
>don't leave any notes or comments
>>
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>>51219880
Devilish.
>>
>>51203155
Normal mail ships only to 2kg. My package weighs 4.5kg. Even if I strip it from all of the consumables, it's still going to be too heavy. I'll figure something up.
>>
>>51186562
Alan, Yes mate thank you very much, i have been away with work so only just marked it arrived. when can i open? love MM
>>
Calvin from TX

I somehow through Christmas magic got your gift shipped on a Sunday. Tracking is updated. Merry Christmas my friend.
>>
To the Oklahoma anon animetobaccofirearms, what kind of anime patches are you cool with? And what kind of muzzle break? Just a fair warning, my package may come late to you because shipping in my area is fucked right now, even Amazon can't get shit processed.
>>
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S from Oregon, it's Ethan from batch 1, I still haven't gotten your second package. Is everything alright? I'm sorry if this sounds impatient, but I just want to make sure that it wasn't lost in transit
>>
Kit Kat in CO your tactard larding gear is inbound. Hope you’re cool with multicam. Shipping direct from manufacturer so there might be time to change to another color lmk
>>
>>51214612
Yeehaw thanks man
>>
N.G. from Ballston Lake -
I apologize in advance for the lack of depraved box art on the package headed your way. But I promise to do better on the second package, which will ship out as soon as the last of the stuff arrives. Current package will allegedly arrive on Friday.
>>
>>51218898
Thanks anon.
>>
>>51212798
canada post is always a bunch of faggots, it'll probably get there faster if you put porn on the box
>>
>>51209513

Understood you're not the only one to say that lol
>>
>>51209589
hope you enjoyed the other stuff tho
>>
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SD from Canadian Texas I have received your orders, Operation Northern Boxfucker is go
>>
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>>51220416
Hell yeah, thank you Santa, I can't wait!
>>
Batch 3 Matches when?
>>
>>51221634
I got matched up for Batch 3 about 12-13 hours ago.
>>
>>51221856
i didnt, screenshot made a min ago
feels bad man
>>
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>>51221961
Damn, hope you get matched up, bro...
>>
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>>51222002
>>51221856
Nevermind, i havent read correctly:
>>51217802
>>If you're German in Dragoon I sadly couldn't find a match for you

I thought it was meant another way, but it was really meant that way.

Feelsbadman.jpg
>>
>>51220397
Feel free to open it any time you like! when you decide to open it, let me know your thoughts
>>
>>51222263
Alan from Dingoland? I try to contact DHL tomorrow and see whats up with the parcel
>>
PB from ON, usps says it was delivered. Can confirm?
>>
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DTD from Indianapolis, I didnt make the shipping dealine, but I promise you are not being grinched. I ended up buying your gifts from several obscure websites and they hadn't all arrived by the weekend, but I will have that pig in the mail ASAP.
>>
Jac in PA, your package is shipping tomorrow
>>
Digi of CA, everything for your grinch relief has been purchased and will be directly shipped to the address provided. Hopefully there's no issues with the names used in shipping. Tracking info will be up once I get it.
>>
>>51221341
Copy that. Hell ya brother
>>
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Mr. Bottles in MI, your package is now in the (theoretically) capable hands of fedex
>>
>>51222286
Yeah that's me. Please go ahead, tell me what they say. I assume this isn't how DHL usually processes outgoing international packages.
>>
>>51220574
I already have a few from ahoworks, and obviously I don't need anything from my own store lmao so really just whatever you feel like. As for the AR brake, doesn't really matter as long as it isn't a 3-prong or an A2 birdcage. Always kinda wanted a Strike J-comp but idk if that'd work with my bayonet.
>>
>>51223320
Yeah i dont know whats up, page says it's cleared for departure except it just aint departing. I mean sure, it could be a bit busy and the 'rona and this and that but this is taking too long now. Although i have to say that last year i've sent a parcel to switzerland and it was stuck in some post office for a week too, so it's nothing out of the ordinary. Anyway i'll try to gather some intel on whats up, will post tomorrow.
>>
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>>51172468
BOPTART: i didn't forget about you! i talked to boss and let him know what's up already; i tried waiting for the second half of your gifts but 4shooters are being gay and won't send the stuff i ordered for you. I'll be sending the half i do have tomorrow morning and i'll get the rest of your stuff out to you ASAP. I'll send candy with the second package, what do you like?
>>
>>51201785
thanks lad, i'll keep an eye out for it
>>
>>51193065
Thanks friend, hopefully you got the cryptic joke in my pseudonym.
>>
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CW from Tulsa, updating again. After an embarrassing phone call with Indian tech support, the package got moved to come in Friday. I Wish I could tell you why it was embarrassing, but that ruins the fun. Sending part 1 of 2 tomorrow morning, and it's not a sex toy, unless you're very adventurous.
>>
>>51218871
Hell yeah anon, looking forward to it. Going to do my best to wait until Christmas to open it unless told otherwise.
>>
Taylor in CA prepare for a smorgasbord weaponized autism.
>>
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We're heading into the final batch, Batch 4! This batch will be your last chance to participate this year, so get your signups in now!
>>
>>51223945
lol its all good. I appreciate the offer of a sex toy but ill have to pass. be awkward to explain if someone sees me opening it lol
>>
>>51223945
>it's not a sex toy, unless you're very adventurous.
>>51224654
wait im retarded, just re read what you typed
>>
>>51223304
I don't believe that I do anything to qualify as being Mr. Bottles, but I am a Michigander who hasn't heard anything from his Santa. What are the last 2 digits of your targets zip code?
>>
TW from Texas, is there any ammo that you'd like? If so what caliber funs do you have?
Leave a reply with the first 3 digits of your street number and I'll know it's you.
>>
>tfw grinched
>>
>>51225556
Some Grinch Relief Corpsman will be dispatched to correct this wrong, once confirmed.
>>
SH from PA, you are my /k/arget for this round. You aren't getting any drawings, but I got something good in store for you. Is it ok if I put a "/k/" on the box so that you know it's from me?
>>
E.M bro from Norway; just shipping hopefully your goodies arrive befor Christmas, enjoy!!!
>>
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Hey Cal from Texas! We just matched today but your box is coming along nicely!
>>
>>51172468
big boss, what does "your santa has contacted us about your gift" mean?
>>
>>51221318
:'(
>>
>>51226219
Usually it means "Boss has emailed them, anon has answered back that they're running late or something is delayed, but they're not grinching you".
>>
>>51226269
thanks brother, was getting the worrying's, but these are assuaged
>>
>>51226219
>big boss, what does "your santa has contacted us about your gift" mean?
Not Big Boss, but I was in this position last year. On both sides.
On the sending side, the item I'd ordered went "in stock" then "ships tomorrow" then "backorder". Fucking infuriating. Ordered same item from different vendor and had it drop shipped to target.
On the receiving side, not sure what happened but the item arrived in plenty of time for me to stare at it for several days until the 25th.
> it'll work out
>>
51172451
No stress about shipping mate, post offices are crazy this time of year, all most had to fight a gaggle of biddies when I dropped mine off.

looking forward to seeing what have come up with tho, I’m gonna risk it and open it up on Christmas day, In front of everyone. Kek so fingers crossed.
>>
>>51225381
(123) I've actually been meaning to get some more ammo, I mostly use the standard 9mm/5.56. Been waiting for those fucking prices to relax forever now. Thanks for the heads up, brother.
>>
>>51226637
Gotcha, will gift accordingly
>>
Hey C. from Texas! Your box is coming along great, should be done soon.
>>
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Forgot to post the image, whoops!
>>
>>51226966
he better get a c96
>>
>>51224301
The anticipation is palpable. I can't wait to see what's in store!
>>
>>51225746
Looks sexy! Looking forward to it mate.
>>
NEW THREAD:

>>51228027
>>51228027
>>51228027
>>
>>51223320
well, i got through on customer line, they told me to expect a few more days because it's literally being shipped. Apparently it's on a ship sailing to straya, i just hope it doesn't arrive at the wrong end and has to travel through different states first. I would've done the priority premium if i wouldve known this, it could take atleast 20 more days from now, so please be patient man. IT WILL ARRIVE!
>>
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>>51228039
>they told me to expect a few more days because it's literally being shipped. Apparently it's on a ship sailing to straya
why would dhl do this to me? just fuck my shit up.
>>
>>51228102
im sorry mate.....
>>
>>51228149
lol all good. don't worry brudi i'm annoyed at dhl not you
>>
>>51228155
i know but still it annoys me too, theres a few things that didnt work out that proper with SS this year for me, and it makes it worse when it also affects others. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the parcel.



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