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that was quick
Snow sex
Christmas Cakes need more love. Or else they buy a van and become kidnappers. Is it still kidnapping if they get married afterwards?
>>34143944Yeah. Is something going on on jp or are we just slow?
Why are griffons so perfect
Hmmm...
>>34136223Courage the Cowardly Kobold. She's always terrified, but constantly protecting you from frightening horrors, with you barely even noticing anything's ever up and just thinking she just needs a little cheering up every time.
>>34143955WHERE ARE THEY, ANON. I NEED THIS, SO PLEASE, PLEASE TELL ME WHERE THEY AT. I WANT TO BE KIDNAPPED TO BE USED AS A CC BOYTOY
>>34143999Fuck off
>>34143999https://pastebin.com/RtvYCBxC
Would you let a Devil corrupt you?
>>34143928
>>34144030No. Corruption is bad. Good morals are always on the table for me. Why would anyone want to turn into a vile evil.
>>34144030>rolled omelettesI'll pass.
>>34143961Because they give the best hugs
If you were a squire for an mg, would you learn any sort of swordsmanship? Or is it just non stop lewding? I'd be pretty disappointed if I only learned how to sex and not to fight.
>>34144030No, I only like monster lolis because they’re cute as hell, I don’t want to be raped by one. Too bad they’ll end up trying to rape me anyways
>>34144094Fuck yeah I would, and if i knew some hema, I would teach them some as well
Mons cosplaying as more dangerous and infamous mons to be intimidating
>>34144030Corruption is for travelling companions
>>34144030Is it really corruption if she just wants to be a good wife for you?
>>34143874I both would and would not want to be in those guy's positions.
>>34144030What happens when you purify them instead?
>>34144141Yes.
>>34144123Cute slime cosplaying as another cute slime? Very nice.
>>34144123
>>34143928Just fuck me up miss bartender
>>34144179They may cry over it. Imagine gathering enough courage to make a move on the person you love, only for them to try to do something to you that would have killed you in the past.
>>34144331From the thumbnail it almost looks like that peanut scp
>>34144405I can kinda see why, but it's still distinct enough for me.
>>34144030What even is corruption?
>>34144331Looooooooong Greenworm.
>>34144426I knew what to expect and it still got me.
>>34144426Alright who fucking blinked
I want a nightmare knight!Magical Cavalry with sinister armor that gets shy during peace time.
>>34144451Devil corruption is just spoiling and sexing a man until he becomes an incubus, then continuing to spoil and sex their incubized husband.
>>34144086This is true.
not a writefag, so forgive me for any small mistakes. just felt like I needed to get this out of my head and in writing, thought anons here might enjoy>come home to eldritch abomination gf at the end of a stressful day at work>open door, start taking off your shoes>suddenly your vision cuts to black>"evening my love~ guess whooo!">she has never been very good at this sort of game>it's the thought that counts though, you think >"i know it's you, now please give me my eyes back babe">you smile, the first time she did this you nearly had a heart attack when you felt the hollow sockets where your eyes were not a moment before>your panic made her panic, and things spiraled out of control >she cried in your arms for hours after, begging forgiveness>it wasn't hard to forgive her, unsurprisingly >a few days later the two of you received a sternly worded letter from your landlord - apparently spatial anomalies aren't covered by your insurance>thankfully for your wallet, she is much more gentle with you now, you haven't had to fix any anomalies since>or, mostly gentle at least>not that you mind that>as your eyes snap back from whatever dark corner of the universe she hid then in, you make a mental note to refrain from asking just how she does that anyway>"it is me! i love you!" her smile is just a little too wide, framed by perfectly black hair and shining silver eyes>that smile used to freak you out>now there's nothing in the world you'd rather see at the end of the day
Just sign the contract, anon. Embrace the new world order and be rewarded.
>>34144529Sounds harmless enough
>>34144505
>>34144537>Has a pair of wings>Has a pair of arms>Has a tailThey can give you a hug while you're enclosed in fluffy wings, plus a tail that can wrap around your waist. They simply give the best hugs. How do yetis and bogeys even compete?
>>34144565gonna give that shog a smooch, you should write more it was very good
Well?
>>34144575I refuse. I would rather be with an Amazoness, living life as a happy househusband.
>>34144331Hmm, maybe it's just me, but something seems off about that greenworm
>>34144606I wasn't thinking a shog specifically, or really MGE setting specifically, but I'm very glad you enjoyed it anon
>>34144565sensory deprivation play with her must be very fun>your sight is taken away>your hearing is taken away>all you can feel is the pleasure coursing to your body as she continues to blow you out
>>34144614I'm making liver and onions, but that fox isn't having any of it..
>>34144614Yes, more meat so she can get more meat.
>>34144641Fool! You're playing right into their hands. It matters not the mamono, only that mankind accepts its rightful place under them.
>>34144614Heh yeah I've got your meat here *unzips dick*
>>34144664>she keeps you on the edge of orgasm for hours on end by removing your ability to feel pleasure for a few seconds every time you start getting close
>>34144655I've had the idea of a shoggy making eyes for a blind anon in my head for a while so that assumption probably came from that. You should have confidence I think you could write some great stuff with a little more fleshing out!
>>34144641Just ask the Demon to modify the contract, this works too.
>>34144696>*unzips dick*yikes
>>34144708the idea for that prompt originally came from a more extended scene of (You) comforting her, but it may be a while before I can bring myself to write it how I'd like - just got a new job so this is the first time in weeks I've had the time to think about this at all
>>34144737*torpedoes you*
>>34144764I'd shove my torpedo into her if you know what I mean
>>34144676It doesn't seem that bad. While being a househusband to a monster does sound a little embarrassing at first, it is actually really great. You get to spend more time with your wife and daughters, and also have all the time in the world to do all those fun projects you've been thinking about. Stuff like making a big garden to feed the family delicious home-grown meals, or picking up a few new skills in between chores is so much easier when you're not stuck working an office job.>>34144717Can Demons write contracts for other species? Would an Amazoness even care about having a contract?
>>34144697what a cruel creature!
>>34144764fuck off flattie, i like my machines of war nice and meaty
>>34144778imagine raising a son and being proud of him when he finally finds his waifu, or rather, his waifu finds him
>>34144575I will never submit my body to demons! I'm a free man! A free man, I say!
>>34144790the release at the end as she pulls you as close as possible is all worth it :)
>>34144778I meant the Demon can change the contract to make you her househusband if that's not already there. It's hard to imagine what need an Amazon would have for a contract.
>>34144808>a man who doesn't understand the pleasure that can be found in surrenderexcited Demoness noises
test
Gonna offer my soul on the Internet for free to whoever can claim me first!
>>34144587they cant
>>34144575what's a kon track? can I eat it ? I get a free wife if I sign it?
Ahem.I fucking HATE KIKIMORA JANNIES.
>>34144778It's okay anon, I want to be a cute househusband too. I'm small and weak and want someone I can lean on.
>>34144915You know you're getting snatched by a bot in fraction of a second.
>>34144866>I meant the Demon can change the contract to make you her househusband if that's not already there. But I don't want to be married to the blueberry!>It's hard to imagine what need an Amazon would have for a contract.Probably something like "Be my husband, I'll work out the details after you sign."
>>34144924SHE DOES IT FOR FREE
>>34144923Sounds like a fox girl's music album. Or is it her tank or her railway system?
>>34144795OK.
Yetis give the best hugs, full stop. Cease this blatant anti-yeti propaganda.
>>34144958I'm pretty sure you're supposed to pay her with cum.
>>34144957Aw shit, my reading sucks once again. I guess an Amazoness would only need a contract if monster government said if they needed one.
>>34144958>>34144924
I want to spike a sorority house's water with military grade aphrodisiacs and then just walk in, sit down on the couch, and start masturbating.
>>34144945
>>34144986>monster governmentIssues a decree that all single human males are found guilty of rejecting love and must report to the nearest Fallen God/Eros church for waifu assignment. A contract will be provided regardless of species. Violators will be mercilessly edged in an iron maiden until they comply.I need that viccy obey image
>>34145032What's stopping you other than your natural instincts to have functioning hips?
>>34145044>spoilerWe just need more monster authority images in general, the Viccy one is so overused I feel an urge to rebel whenever I see it.
>>34145095what would be a good idea for drawing one, asking for a friend of course
>>34144967best sub by far, even if her fatty body makes her excessively buoyant for a submersible vehicle.
>>34145061>I feel an urge to rebel whenever I see itMe too, but only because I think she's cute and would enjoy it
>>34145121I'd take inspiration from the WW2 posters. Or any dystopia. Give them a femdom twist and you're golden.
>>34145128you mean him >>34145095 but thanks for the (You)
>>34145121A line of monster girls in enforcement uniforms, or a lone monster officer carrying off a rebelanon.
>>34145095Bad boys get the cuffs. So do good boys sometimes, but you should still try to be a good boy.
>>34145153I wouldn't limit it to just WW2, a lot of old Cold War-era Soviet posters could work if you put a monster spin on them.
I love my jiangshi daughter!
>>34145203I can't take her seriously when she's wearing that silly little hat.
>>34144818It really is>when she really does let you climax, she doesn't stop milking you dry>before, you beg her to stop with the teasing and just let you cum>but now you're crying out to her to stop as she continues to stimulate you with the post-orgasm sensitivity>well... it's not that you can hear your own voice, anyways... so you can only lay there like a twitching mess
>>34145061A need to find a sorority house entirely populated by Manticores.
>>34144968prove it then
>>34145095I have to admit that I am very guilty of overusing that image.I just like it so much.When I learn to draw I gotta make some images in a similar vein, so that we have some alternatives.
Griffon wings are too big, they'll get in the way of all the intimate stuff. They're also too comfy for their own good, but that's beside the point.
>>34145128>>34145203I want to walk into a demon-ran waifu assignment center and loudly proclaim that LOVE IS OVERATED, and I'm an EDGY AND UNLOVABLE BAD BOI who doesn't want to CUDDLE a waifu and RUB NOSES after kisses.That'll show em.
>>34145095Well, it's not much, but here is a lilim in uniform who I want to use my face as a chair
>>34145339No smoking, bad nunbug.
>>34145344Viccy was still cutest at the beginning when she just wanted to make a nice garden to walk in with her husband. War corrupted her.
>>34145344Why does she wear the hat?
>>34145211Do you have any specific posters in mind?
I need CCs, where is the biggest gathering of them?
>>34145339Washboards begone.Even lolis need to have a LITTLE something.
>>34145389Nobody cared who she was until she put it on.
>>34145396Mostly the ones that are about having large families or starting family farms, I know China made lots of those. There are also a couple ones that are just Soviet couples together with captions about voting in certain people to better the nation (or else), I could see that being used if the party wants to fake an election and get a certain monster extremist into power.
Imagine an oni version of Rosie the Riveter but the slogan is "We Can Do Him" instead of "We Can Do It".Rosie the Ravager.
>>34145203*bad boys get the facesit
>>34145452If I pull it off, will she die?
What does your waifu listen to? What music personifies your favorite mamano?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18OT8gUDwFc
>>34145461SOLD, YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD
>>34145461I was thinking the iconic Uncle Sam but with a demon and only "I want you"
>>34145511That's pretty good, the finger point could be replaced with the end of a pen as she's handing it to you.
>>34145484>Momonikahttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0Uh3OJCx3o&ab_channel=LeviathanThis but unironically.
>>34143928okay, does 4chan have a character limit? i never really typed anything that's longer than a paragraph. i kinda wanna write a short story.
>>34145582Granberry was a catalyst.
>>34145267>tails dilate and spines extend when aroused>aphrodisiacs kick in>they swarm you>they start accidentally stabbing each other>double the aphrodisiac effect on them, and a significant amount getting into you
>>34145591Ooooh, I like it. Good one. Not sure if I'd go with "I" or "We" though.
>>34145267can i come too anon? i want to be stabbed by infinite horny needles.
>>34145611yeah, it's 5000 on /jp/ iirc
>>34145611I don't know, but you could always make it in google docs if you're scared and just post the link, people will read it if you advertise it well enough
>>34145611Yes. If it's too long to fit in a single post, consider putting it up on another site and linking it instead.>>34145619I still wish she looked muscular in her sex scenes, wasted opportunity.
The cute Kobold goes _____ _____!
>>34145042Use the holy hand grenade!
>>34145203And good boys get the fluff
>>34145696to the vet.
>>34145696wan wan
>>34145696Eat ass?
>>34145764Only mike tyson's
>>34145696puppi cunni!
>>34145696SEX NOOOOOW!!!
>>34145696BORK BORK
>>34145855Come back when you're older
>>34145925based
>>34145925she's pretty old if shirokuto has anecdotes about her.
Pretty aggressive stance for someone at standing pai and fellatio height with built-in handle bars.
>>34145925"I'm sorry Kobold, I can't give the D. Come back when you're a little, mmmm, MILFer."
>>34145985Gonna go adventure through the shortstack kingdom.
>>34145925Based
The mofufort is unassailable.
>>34146071But not impenetrable
>>34145925She is old.
>>34146094>shortly thereafter
>>34146094*impregnable
>>34145339>you find out your favorite Nun Onee-san at the local temple has a real bad smoking habit because of all the new girls the church keeps sending her to train
>>34144565This was lovely. Like your imagery.
>>34145469>no socks with no shoes outsideDO CHESHIRES REALLY
>>34146071>ears are left uncovereda critical weakness
>>34144614>What, you think I'm going to eat both of these ribroasts myself?
>>34146071This reminds me of the old dogfort memes from the days of myspace and Facebook.
>>34145484https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sl4JKK4ObaE&list=OLAK5uy_nhLFfZHSqUNZ-ng-wM_ekrkfBOiFIIISQ
>>34144614I want someone to be that happy whenever I cook dinner...
>>34145476Yes, but the hat will sometimes detach and try to find a new host. It’s essentially a headcrab
>>34146161Critical Hit!
>>34146149There could be people wearing shoes inside the house at this very moment.
>>34144614Imagine feeding her hamburgers that are cooked to a perfect rare where if it was on the grill for 5 seconds less it would be raw.
Well now that anons seemed to have liked my story well enough, any suggestions for future eldritch gf shenanigans?
>>34146219FUCK THEY'RE ONTO US
>>34146149SOCKS AND SANDLESIN BEDRIGHT NOW
>>34145855What do bapho pheromones even smell like?
>>34146193dammit I fucked up the link, that's not the right onehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cx8Nf5VIuqg&list=OLAK5uy_nhLFfZHSqUNZ-ng-wM_ekrkfBOiFIIISQ&index=3there we go
Do you think a 1-tailed fox deserves to have her own shrine?
>>34146252Anon needs to console and escort the friend he invited out.
>>34146296Yesa small one, in the corner where she can see it from her couch infront of the fireplace
>>34146296she used to have more tails but lost them as her power dwindled.
>>34146296Of course, even the smallest of inaris servants deserve recognition.
>>34146297You mean like this? Or am I misunderstanding >>34144745
>>34146347If she lodges with a friend, is she allowed a bigger one?
>>34146149>no socks>no shoesthe cheshire ass must have gotten to him, he's already a goner
>>34146252Eldritch gf learning about human foods and the joys of cooking. I have no idea what eldritch beings eat. Do they summon weird black ingredients from who knows where? Do they even eat?
>>34146296Turning a level 1 shrineless fox into a level 100 mofu-ia boss! The entire city is now her shrine!
>>34146422Ooh I like this one. I'll see what prompt I can come up with
Also I want one of our actual writefags to do a story where a Cheshire and Manticore compete for (your) love. That would be cute as fuck
>>34146252A heartwarming story about an Eldrich gf that goes through hijinks because her man is hiding something from her, only to find out that he's been stealing away to write in his journal about how much he loves her. Something cute like:>"You wrote that I'm the light in your life? I could say the same I suppose. I spent and entire millennia in darkness alone until I met you. Now every day is filled with more light than I could imagine!"
>>34146462>actual writefagsWell if you consider Greenworm posting to be worthy of that moniker than I may be able to do something. Any specific circumstances/settings you want?
>>34146296Oi, you single-tailed kiddies make me sigh. Stop seeking self-affirmation on the internet or else you'll never find yourselves a man.
>>34146252Eldritch childhood gf learning that you aren't allowed to hide in parallel worlds when playing hide and seek. Also using hallucination-inducing space barriers isn't fair play when playing a game of cops and robbers
>>34146500found a cc fox
>>34146484hmm, I'm not sure how keen you are on threesomes but that might be nice - maybe being spurred in by manticore pricking chesh in an attempt to match her endless pranking of (You)? Also I think orgasm denial (for either party) is super hot but you really don't have to include that unless you felt really motivated toOnly thing I have no idea about would be the circumstances producing said rivalry
>>34146500I'm going to find a single tailed fox and shower her with mountains of love and affection and then show her off around town. The CC foxes with a bunch of tails will seethe while they try and convince me to ditch my taillet for their superior multiple tails. At which, I'll laugh and say "no thanks hag, if I wanted to date someone with a bad attitude and crow's feet I'd have found a black harpy, now buzz off". I'll then princess carry my girl away while telling her all the things I love about her and to not let anyone drag her down.
>>34146532I think I got something, but no promises. Keep the door open for suggesting to more established writefags but be pleasantly surprised if it comes to fruition! Just because I'm a massive monogamy fag doesn't mean threesomes aren't hot
>>34146377No, anon invites his friend over, and anon's girlfriend doing things to the house and anon drives his friend crazy in terror and anon needs to escort his friend outside.
I want to make every mesugakis happy like this!
>>34146555But black harpies have good manners!
>>34146623But she's crying! She's not happy!
>>34146623>mesugakiswhat kind of mamano is this
>>34146667What?
nice tail
Good night Anons, take care and don't burn down the thread.Instead, remember that sharing a hobby with your wife is a great way to stay active.I'd totally not use building a harem as an excuse for making a gaming group that lives with me.What are you, crazy?
I wish there was more Manticorp....
>>34146623>Redness in the face>Watery eyes>Shortness of breath (breathing from mouth, obviously breathing very hard)>Drooling (most likely because she is having difficulty swallowing)I think she's having an allergic reaction. Did you feed her something without asking if she had any food allergies?
Let her in, she's an oniDon't you believe in oni?
>>34145230
>>34146800Would you play with a Kobold and a Cheshire?
>>34146844I don't drink, go away.
>>34146850What took you so long?
>>34146857yes, yes I would
>>34145230She'll never blossom into a young woman... This makes me sad.
>>34146804Manticorp is a slimy business, even slimier than Shogco.
>>34146873What other monster girls would you game with? How about playing FPS games with a chill Jinko?
>>34146866Needed to go out and buy a new server IP, sorry
>>34146290Fucking chunnis
>>34146897FPS with a jinko. TTRPGs with a Lich. I just need a group to play with
>>34146897>Play a grand strategy with Anubis wife>It just consists of her looking over my shoulder telling me what to do.She gets double pleasure out of playing the game while ordering me around at the same time.
>>34146897Depends, which girls would enjoy the Stranding genre?
>>34145484>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSaEoVYkhdM&ab_channel=ParryGrippYeah, she's pretty intense.
>>34146951Foxes.
>>34146971She looks tough, does she "mwee"
>>34147001A grey fox with a humpty egg?
>>34146971I bet she slaughters them veggies without mercy.
>>34147026Yes, a deep throaty "MWEEH" as she swings her axe. It's sort of awkward going to taverns and her ordering a vegetable juice while everyone else is ordering mead. They said I was a madman for travelling with an entire party of Greenworms, but who's laughing now? Seriously I'm only drawing my wife in various fantasy job classes and mamono baseball cards
>>34146948With Anubis' micromanaging skills in playing games like StarCraft, would she individually control each troop
>>34147064>munches all your vegetables>heh, nothing personnel kid>more please
>>34147026>>34147065Guys how did mweeh become the official worm noise? I poke worms and they make no noises I can hear
>>34146927What girl would enjoy Turn-Based Tacticals (XCOM)? Kikimoras?
>>34147138She'd be a complete scrub despite having faster reaction times and intellect than a typical person because she'd be so focused on micromanaging on unit, she'd be full zoomed on it nitpicking it's movement
>>34147142I think it's from the true final ending to Magusanon's saga
>>34147146>I don't trust the pathfinding so I'll click every step of the way!That's a gagging.
>>34147144>>34147146Are Anubis really that big into the Micro game? Seems like that's more something Autism Snek would get into, obsessing over each trooper's health, load out, whether they packed healthy snacks, etc.
>>34147142It's what Magus put them saying in his April Fools joke, then it became a running meme that Mwehspeak is the official Greenworm language, it's actually so complex that many Greenworm husbands will never hope to understand it, so they work with a low level understanding of the husband's language as a result.
Are there evil/dark greenworms? A greenworm variant that resembles battra would be cool.
>>34147222A redworm!
>>34147222One April Fools should be every monster girl replaced with a Greenworm.
>>34147247Don't be mean to her! She may be unreasonably haughty and falls off like a cliff later on but she's good through and through! It's just a coincidence your that adventuring happens to benefit her personal goals, honest!
>>34145484Well for wurmy, look no further to this entire albumhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YEPU68zqik&t=26s&ab_channel=SantiagoBernhardt
>>34145484https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xarqsP82kQE&ab_channel=EBSMElectroBodySynthMusic
>>34145484She loves Presley>little more bite and a little less bark >little less fight and a little more spark >close Your eyes and open up Your heart, baby >satisfy me She's also a sucker for folk folk, country and those old jazz classics like Sinatra.
Greenworms, or the Green Plague, as I like to call them, ruined my crops this year and every year. I demand retribution.
>>34147402>crops>this year>in AprilWait a minute...
>>34147409I am but a humble farmer in Wonderland. I ain't gotta explain shit.
>>34145484>What does your waifu listen to? She doesn't like "manufactured sound" of regular music, she prefers bird songs or just ambient nature noise.>What music personifies your favorite mamano?I couldn't give you an existing song, but it should evoke the emotions of a fight between the rational mind and succumbing to the thrill of the hunt.
>>34145484https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebqsSzmJE9o"…Thou art a dreaming thing", she said. I just nodded.
>>34147414What do You grow in wonderland? Mochi and bubblegum?
>>34147575>What do you growYes, and no. At the same time
>>34145484The thing is, I just cannot imagine what kind of music my waifu would be into. I always loved depressing songs so I don't see us sharing same musical taste. Actually, I want her to be the type to go 'You listening to this crap again?' and throws my headphones away when she finds out I'm listening to my favorite songs.Maybe she could enjoy classics, I guess, secretly tho so she would vehmently argue against it when pointed out but I could see her relaxing while listening violins and stuffs
>>34147575Well, you can grow just about anything you want to in Wonderland, but I specialize in mushrooms. The non-hallucinogenic kind, if it needed to be said.
>>34147575i think tea would be the most appropriate for wonderland
>>34147431Sweaters in the hands of CCs are weapons of dick destruction and should be heavily restricted.
Wholesome relationships with gyaru monsters
>>34144065around wocks guard your cock
>>34145484Waifu would listen to all sorts of metal, too many bands to list. Also I think Rob Zombie really just embodies the vibes I get from Ghouls.
>>34147631>ywn go on a summer festival to watch hanabi with Your yukata wearing, well endowed, gyaru, Demon gfWhy do I live in this hell again?
>>34147368>Wise men say>Only fools rush in>But I can't help>Falling in love with youMaking my Kiki cry tears of joy while I serenade her as we dance slow to The King is one of my favorite things
>>34147454I think your waifu would like these songs: https://youtu.be/krQDFzBxo7Q
>>34145484My tomboy Griffon jams to Laibach:https://youtu.be/c6Mx2mxpaCY
Gonna mess with a vampire by constantly breaking into her castle and putting garlic in all her food and wine before disappearing into the night.
>>34147746I thought she was getting her wings clipped.
>>34148031Now why would you do that?
>>34148049That's what she gets for raising the taxes so much!
>>34148072Heh. Imagine paying taxes
>>34148242You know what happens to tax-evading little shits.YEET
>>34145476It would be extremely painful
>>34148031In MGE doesn't garlic just make vampires incredibly horny?
>>34148270She's a big girl!
>>34146897fighting games with my huge mino wife because she teases me when we wrestlenow I'm gonna tease her back
>>34145484‘Nuki listens to tunes from her homeland>sunao ni I LOVE YOU!>todokeyou kitto>YOU LOVE ME!
>>34148284For you.
>>34148269Don't YEET nukis. They can hire ratas to blackmail you
>>34148302I hear this in Majima's voice
>>34148328>t. Nuki trying to avoid the YEET
>>34148328They can't hire anything while they're being flung through the air or unconscious after landing on their head.
>>34148418She can't drink with her mouth covered. Dumb kot.
Green is such a nice color
>>34148383They can't hire anything when I'm squeezing them in my embrace and kissing their lovely heads.
>huge mino wife smiles as you try your hardest to give her a spine-crushing hug like she always does>squeezes you back even harder
>>34148275Exactly, and that's what makes it even better.She'll be super horny with no outlet and she can't find out who did it.Eventually she'll just go to her room and start to pleasure herself. And with a bit of planning I'd put some cameras in there and sell the resulting video for some mad cash.
Be wary who You give a ride to, Anons. Coming back from the gym, I took in this red oni waiting on the parking lot. Halfway back to the suburbs she made me drive into a back alley, stopped the car, tied me up to the seat and brutally raped me for hours, before stealing my wallet and escaping.It happened two days ago, yesterday and I'm going today as well.
>>34148686>Oni sees you coming from a distance>squeals in delight as she thinks to herself, "He likes me!">Masks her joy with a malicious grin, waiting for you to approachAnon you're going to get raped super hard this time, you may as well go with a pair of gold rings and ask her the big question
>>34148724Last time, when she was brutally sodomizing herself on my dick, she took the gag she made out of her sweaty spats from my mouth to spit inside. When I swallowed I asked if she wants to grab a coffee and talk tommorow. She blushed, called me an idiot and said it's too early for cute dates. How do I progress our relationship? Sex is nice but I want to hold hands and cuddle eventualy.
>>34148750As she approaches you, throw your arms around her and tell her that you love her.You'll probably get raped, but if you straight up confess to her, she'll have no choice but to tell you what she thinks.If she doesn't tell you right away, the feelings will sit heavy in her heart and she won't be able to stop thinking about you.
>>34148663>fortunately a steady diet of minotaur milk has given you uncrushable bones
>>34148795Minotaurs love good boys who drink all their milk, because they know they can be even rougher and more passionate.Bruises are a sign of unadulterated love, but broken bones are often a sign of carelessness.
>>34148663How can man hope to stand up against strong monsters?
>>34148828You cannot stand.Only kneel.
>>34148828Well if You stand u, You're on a perfect height to shove Your head between her milkers.
>>34148828If they are tall enough you can give them standing cunnilingus.
>>34148831They can think that all they want until raging mushrooms get pulled out.
>>34148828Raging Mushroom ;)
>>34148902>mamono ate a raging mushroom before you couldYou would be very very fucked
>>34148934Now I want a picture of a very smug hellhound or mino straddling anon and smacking the mushroom away right as he's about to eat it.
>>34149026>anon pulls out a ragin mushroom, looking very smug>mino immediately bites it out of his hand>anon stands there a little shocked>mino leans in, with the rapiest rape face you've ever seen
>>34148934>>34149095Even if she ate a raging mushroom, the guy will always win if he ate one as well.
>>34149195That's why she eats his one though, so he can't do that.Being a big girl, she's in charge here.
>>34149026>not having raging mushrooms hidden in your mouth so you can swallow it at any time in case of emergencies
>>34149206>monster just frenches you and steals it from your mouth
>>34149201Not if you have more in a hidden compartment.
>>34149206That sounds like a good way to accidentally create an emergency.
>>34149215>>34149218It's like those cyanide fake suicide teeth, except filled with raging mushrooms instead.
>Caught trying to smuggle raging shrooms into the cityYou won't be getting off with a warning, and even if you do bite down, you will run out of shrooms eventually, then the punishment will come tenfold for every shroom you used to delay it
>>34149303So I get to have some maledom with a cute mino, and she'll reward me with more sex? How's that bad?
>>34149303Totally worth it. I'd go for it
>>34149215As long as the guy swallows enough himself, even if she takes it from his mouth, he'll still win in the end.>>34149303Just walk over to wherever you can get more of them while you're fucking her silly to efficiently make sure it never wears off.
I still like the idea that dark mages can enhace effects with potionskinda like making a potion out of herbs and shrooms in monster hunter
>>34149303>mino guards outnumber you ten to one>pat you down, check your mouth>confiscate all your shrooms, yes even the ones in your teeth>they all eat your entire supply to make sure it doesn't get into the city>decide to punish you
>>34149353Just fuck all of them at the same time so you can do it faster.
>>34149373>Florida man, high on raging mushrooms, fights off ten minotaurs while masturbating
>>34149390>carrying all of them while fucking them, while rampaging through a mushroom farm
Kobolds are for intimately fingering. They LOVE fingers!
>No mentions of Gazer
>>34149727Gazer a shit
>>34149727I love her
>>34149727I want to make out with Gazer's butthole.
Need mofu
Are you a bad enough dude to beat up an oni?
I want to have a traditional wedding.
>Anon likes cars>Gremlin makes him a jet car>Anon likes grilled cheese>Gremlin makes a super grill>Anon likes swords>Gremlin makes a sword that is also a lazer rifle>Anon likes gremlin>Gremlin. for once... is unsure what to make
>>34149858I want the reverse...I mean I want to fuck her in the bum...but also...yeah
>>34150053A gremlin daughteru, obviously.
How can Hebis be so perfectHow can other snakes even hope to compete
>>34150034https://youtu.be/Y4ORIIT-W80
>[you tell the slime that you don't mind her tentacles]>[the slime liked that!]
I am a monument to all your sins
>>34150053more gremlins
>>34150210>Edgelord Tentacle that's clinging to you to soothe her pain after the Tentacle Forest Genocide.
>>34150298I think she just likes Halo
>>34150313Babby's first FPS.
>>34150313It's hard to tell apart a actual dork and someone who needs healing at times. Be by their side no matter which one they turn out to be.
>>34150327Probably her 2nd since the quote is from Halo 2
>>34150327>lizard girl challenges you to a game of Quake 3
>>34150053>bamboozle the gremlin by telling her you don't want any sex toys>no gadgets>no aphrodisiac injectors>all you want is gremlin
Good morning, I dreamt of me and wurmy going to the range and I was shooting an M1 Garand. after I was done, I took the gun apart and explained how it works. As usual, my wurmy didn't understand the details but understood the general idea. I woke as I put it together
>>34150375I wish I had nice dreams like that.
>>34150006Hitsuji mofu mofuKedama moko mokohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NssVxzzqFM4
>>34150096By not being shit.
>>34145484https://youtu.be/weOi8VXC98M
>>34145484https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNjL9IChgKY
remember, switching to your dick is quicker than getting a new weapon for monster "slaying"
>>34150375>Wurm, try to remember the basics of cqcLittle did the guard know that last c stood for something entirely different.
>>34150634Yes.
>>34150738cuddling?
This, but with an even bigger minotaur/
>>34150738caressing?
>>34150872why does god like me suffering. I want this as well
A human woman is looking at porn in which a lil human boi is being fucked real hard and silly by a big and strong Monstergirl. Or is being female on male gangbang'd by numerous monstergirls, and said human woman is like:>"This is sad and unbelievable... This boy is someone's son... Some mother's little boy is being degraded into some Monstergirl's cum dispenser."
>>34150778>yeti agent cuddles guards to sleep with close quarters cuddling >has to contend with a sadistic, revolver wielding ocelomeh who tortures her later on
>>34150917Jokes aside, human w*men literally cannot compete with mamono.Why would you ever take them over mamono?
>>34148686>embarrassed red oni runs off with your wallet post raping>doesn't even know why she took it>stays up all night wondering how she's going to give it back
>>34150917and I love being that boy fucked silly. i am a slut for monster girls and wished to be used like em
>>34150917And then she monsterizes into a bicorn
>>34147414>WonderlandI thought the queen already took care of this.
>>34150917If Druella could enchant Monster Girl Encyclopedia, so that every woman who reads it monsterizes, could they possibly do that with the internet as well? Imagine Your wife following a weird link she clicked by accident on the interwebs, and You can only hear a weird noise, till coming into the room she's in, and seing she is now a Jinko.
>>34151152will there be links that turn men into incubi?
>>34151041You'll never be safe from the green menace, wonderworm was a cover-up employed by the QoH to smokescreen (heh) the fact that the wonderland economy is in shambles due to the rampant greenworm invasion
>>34151152>50 pop-ups that make you monsterize if you read them
>>34151168Those weird adds about increasing Your penis size 10 times would be like that. Except they'd actualy work and magically increase Your penis size to gargantuan proportions.>>34151214>download a movie for Your technicaly ignorant female friend>she turns into a lamia and comes back to thank You
how much does your wife weigh?
>>341513188 tons
>>34151318130kg of pure muscle.
Alright bros I need help>be me>need job>apply for the only play hiring at the Mamono Mall, Sabbath Chic>they specialize in loli clothes and fashion>get hired pretty easily>not a loli guy but it couldn't be that bad>hit on constantly by the customers>for some reason they think it's perfectly ok to run out of the dressing rooms naked when things fit>they jump up and down on my leg and want me to tell them how proud I am that they picked out clothes all on their own>it's literally company policy so I have to oblige>had to tell customers multiple times that just because there's one of those massage chairs outside, that doesn't mean we have some secret massage parlor in the store>didn't stop one cheeky witch from oiling herself up and going prone on the countertop while winking at me>coworkers just as bad>want me to carry them piggyback around the store>always stripping down hoping that I would ravage them in the breakroom like in their zipangese porn cartoons>have to give them all a little kiss before leaving each day>they all call me darling now>these lolis even stow away in my car and ambush me at home>bapho manager gets on to me the next day for making the little witch cashier sleep on the couch while I locked my bedroom doorShould I quit? Are there other jobs with less bullshit out there that are easy to get into? Where do you guys work?
>>34151318600kg
>Where did that waiter go?>What? I'm not nervous. You're nervous.>Is that couple looking at us? I think they're looking at us.>Here. Eat. Yes, off my fork.>What? Why? What's wrong?>G...good? I could maybe...at home...>Stop looking at me like that. Of course it won't be as good.>What!? We could just come back!? I mean...if you want...>They're looking at us again.>Stop laughing. I can tell even if you're holding it back.>Stop it.>Where is that waiter?>I'm not flustered. You're flustered.>Moron...Date night with Gazer
>>34151318as much as a feather, or so she says.
>>34151345Well you could try applying at the Greila clinic down the street, but I don't think that'll solve your problems anon. You might be doomed.
>>34151318The great Kyriakos Grizzly says that an adult male weighs at least 200 kilograms.So we can assume his mamono counterpart probably says that an adult mamono weighs at least 600 kilograms.
>KC said Tsurara-Onna's hair style is meant to give her a more active feelThey're not exactly fighter/warrior girls, but the more I look at her the more it awakens the same kind of desire as some other girls like Salamander. The desire to defeat a loli Tsurara-Onna challenger and then defeat her again with cock.
>>34151543I see them doing more leg based martial arts as well as kicking the occasional ice spike.
>No demon realm with warped rules that cause monster girls to go loli mode and only age up as they level up in XP
>>34151415aye but they're both a kilogram
>>34144094You can't marry your mentor until you can beat her in a duel
>>34151464What's it like at the clinic?
>>34151543Tsuraras look like they could run a marathon in the snow just to catch you, sure they could rain icicles down on you but where's the fun in that
>>34151786I hope you like lab coats and doctor play.
>>34146948>Get anubis wife to do the micromanaging stuff like building infrastructure and handling funds>While you handle diplomatic decisions and militaryThat would be top comfy with a demon too. I can imagine the anubis throwing a hissy fit when you attack a city that's way too formidable only to go quiet when you exploit the mechanics to win without a single loss. Although I wonder if Anubis would be the kind of gamer who insist on doing things within the confines of the game and don't like trying to break it by exploiting the mechanics
>>34151582>loli Tsurara doing leg based martial arts in that outfit>see flashes of her plump lower body from just about every angle before she's beaten>likely to get poked by mamono mana icicles atleast a bit during the fightThere's only one result this would end in.
>>34151345I work at the blood bank. It’s... interesting
>>34151345I don't know, sounds like a pretty good gig anon.
>>34147158>CC bunyip gf gets mad and rapes anon when he throws his own units into a meat grinder despite the fact that he's playing as an evil factionMonsters have funny ideas
>>34143999>>34144737>>34144764>>34144967>>34145978>>34146667>>34146850>>34147001>>34147431>All this off-topic shitDo you retards ever lurk?
>>34152217Some of those are actually monster girls though, you have a point with 3 of them. Remember it's the monster girl thread, not mge thread.
>>34152217>An oni is now considered off topicgood to know
>>34152017>Ok Anon I'm going to have to give you a little prick>Uhhh... where's the collection bag?>Panicked_Mosquito.jpeg
>>34152017There's probably a Sabbath that focuses on sucking their onii-chan's blood. You'd also see lots of loli Vampires there too
>>34151867Somebody needs to tell Grelia that not every guy needs a prostate exam!
>>34152457I love my blood bag big brother!
>>34152055Anon I can't even eat or drink anything at work because of the way they look at me when it's about to go in my mouth combined with the grinding of their legs together.
>>34152343>>34152364Not that guy but to be fair there are entire threads dedicated towards discussing fate, vtubers, and boats on other boards. No reason to post random images here without contributing to the thread
>>34152572Vtubers I can understand since they got an entire board but as for boats and FGO, no one ever bitches about draphs when they're posted. Seems more like taking an issue with the source material than the logical reason behind it.
>>34151168There's a JP story about chaos monsters using the dark web to mindfuck you and infiltrate your town. It's that sort of thing instead.
>>34152622Nachos are master shitposters.
>>34152671What silly coveralls.
>>34151640Excuse me while I head deep into high-level endgame territory.
>>34152572bait
>>34152552You need to stare back at them while you tongue your glass. Assert dominance.
>>34152801They're gonna be CAKE tier there. Very big. Although your partymates will still be stuck in loli mode.
Can undead get drunk?
>>34152884Probably
>>34152884>that imageDamn that's some good pharaoh cunny. Can't wait for the sequels
>>34152884>>34152950In Fallout 3 you needed to get extra strong jet for a ghoul to get high, so maybe the same rules apply to alcohol?
I'm going to get so hopped up on raging mushrooms that I fuck a ludicrous amount of lolis, so many that there's going to be a new branch of the Sabbath made revolving around worshipping my cock.
>>34152826It's scary staring into a heart pupiling loli's eyes anon
>>34150096By being a complete cuddleable fluff!
>>34150972Put a love letter inside the wallet! That'll force her to answer
>>34152967Poor Raul
>>34151640Considering I like more mature girls and power, that would probably be my go-to location if I ever heard about it.Alternatively>Demon Realm where power grants girls more mature bodies but inevitably corrupts them into being extremist ara-aras who think all men must be mothered.
Monstergirls reasoning that it's their body and so their choice!
>>34153079B-but what about my body and my choice?
>>34153079It's Lich-san's choice to modify their own body to milk you more efficiently.
>>34151360The urge to tease gazer is immense
>>34153110Your body is also theirs, according to the new law card passed by Lilith. Ignorantia legis non excusat.
>>34153034>Get tons of fake wallets>Write your address and little hearts on pieces of paper>Walk through the local thieves guild territory and feel your pockets getting lighterAll that's left is wearing loose pjs when sleeping that night
>>34152457Her eyes are funny!
>>34152464Prostate cancer is a serious, preventable disease anon. There's no harm in trying to diagnose it early
>>34153171>Slim brown thief tomboy crawls into your loose PJs so she can sleep with you tucked inside her all night long
>>34153171The only issue with that plan is being rudely awoken by the kunoichi, giant mouse, and banshee having a catfight over all of them sneaking into your room at the same time
>>34153132It's all about leverage, and it works both ways. She'll lace your drink with prisoner fruit and give you an under-the-table footjob.As soon as that damn waiter gets back...
>>34152464>that one time I got a physical from Grelia and she insisted on sounding my urethra but wouldn’t explain whyI hope I never have to enter that office again
>>34153329>>34152464>>>/y/>>>/u/>>>/lgbt/
>>34153171>make tons of cryptic riddle filled treasure maps>"lose" them in front of the adventurers guild>strip down and tie yourself to a chair blindfolded where the treasure's supposed to be>hop yourself up on aphrodesiacs ao you're full mast>wait and see who wins the wife roulette
>>34153347Pretty sure that's more /d/ than anything else.
>>34153347Anon you don’t have to sperg out because people were joking about invasive medical procedures
>>34153347There's no gay here.
>>34153347Yule Goblet? Now what does that have to do with monster girls?
>>34153515>Yule Goblet?Some archaic term for one of Santa's elves? Short, like a goblin, or even smaller. Hence the diminutive gob-let.
>Build myself a little onsen back of my cabin in the mountains>Slutty Drunken Oni moved in last week and won't leave, all she does is drink my Finnish vodka and demand I strip down and neck with her all evening>Stumbles into my bed at 3 in the morning, her hot skin still damp from the steam and steals all the blanketsI mean, she is a good kisser and all, but between the booze and the hot water bill, I'm starting to get a little peeved. She could at least make breakfast every once in a while.
>>34153556No it's a literal goblet, you drink eggnog from it
>>34153558Fill her with babies and you can have delicious Oni milk for breakfast. It has a slight rum taste, sort if like Egg Nog!
>>34153248>"Heehee anon'll never see this coming">Mouse thief crawls under the covers to snuggle with anon and sleepfuck him>Anon's body reacts in his sleep and he grabs her to turn her over>"Eeeeeeep! Wait no fair. You can't just do that in your sle">Mouse is cut off as anon uses his weight to hold her body and slowly grinds his way further into her pussy>"Ahh fine you bastard" she mumbles as the comfort and warmth gets to her and she drifts off to sleep in his arms>Anon wakes up to a wet popping sound as he slides off and out of his very satisfied comatose brown mouseOnly fair to make her breakfast after that. Even if she is technically a home invader
>>34153754Mousetraps for mice girlsIt's a jar of cum instead of cheese, and instead of a spring-loaded metal bar, it's me hiding behind the door.She can't detect me because of the jar, it masks my presence.
>>34153604You drink eggnog from a goblin?
>>34153374Wonder how many normal guys passing by the adventurers guild accidentally cause early retirements by unknowingly or knowingly doing something to trigger a monster adventurer's "you are my husband now" instinct
>>34153833Yes Wurmborn, I drink eggnog from a goblin.
>>34153845>guy walks by adventurer's guild>trips on a wanton lamia tail>caught by an adventurer mino>lamia upset, guy looks scared>mino protection instincts kick in>fireman carries him away and retires to have kids
>>34153824That sounds like the kind of story you're going to cringe over in a few years>How did you meet your husband sis?>Yeah so for some reason he thought leaving out a jar of his cum would "distract me" when I could tell where he was by dirty clothes and dishes strewn everywhere and just get me some right from the tap>Isn't that right honey? as she takes a quick break from bouncing on anon's hips to turn and give him a quick peck on the nose
>>34153968Hey! I'll have you know I always wash the dishes and leave dirty clothes in a basket!
>>34153992>Mouse forgot that the dishes were dirty because she licked all over them to try and get a taste of you and the clothes were all over the place because she was rummanging through them on her way to the cum jar
rape is not olev
>>34154047>mouse is now covered in my scent as she dived into my dirty clothes basket>cannot detect me by smell, since it's already filled her mind
>>34153968Does she make little "Bounce, bounce, bounce!" noises to herself as she rides my hips? Because that is super cute.
>>34153866But why!?
>>34153845That's why it's so rare to see Hellhound adventurers. They usually end up pouncing on a guy pretty early on, usually right before setting out for their first quest. In heavily populated beastgirl cities, it's highly recommended that single guys send proxy messengers to the guild office for commissioning a quest, as there's no way you aren't leaving marked by some beastgirl's pheromones. Don't even get me started on joining either!
>>34154154It's tradition.
>>34153948>Monsters start slipping the lamia some coin so that they can "catch" men when they trip over her tail>Lamia just wants to adventure with a cute boy for pete's sake
>>34154155>Don't even get me started on joining either!Let's see:>join an adventure guild>get a cute beastgirl wife on day 1>you already have a pernament second member of the party>huge stats boost from incubizing >can go to higher level areas sooner and use bigger swords earlierI see no downsides.
>>34153845>mamono go adventuring into human dungeons, which are just underground human towns>main enemies are human women and the men married to them>loot is the cute anons who are actually quite happy to go with the mamono
>>34154140That is cute, what if she mounted and went "Hup! and one and two three four... Hup! one two three four..." while slowly picking up the pace
>>34154266>permanent 2nd party memberNot if it were me, she'd be constantly filled with a new litter if I had a BUILT MAKAI TOUGH Beastgirl adventuring wife
>>34154322holy fuck, how much for a three-pack, anon?
Can somebody direct me to the muscle sabbath?
>>34154266That's nice but what's also nice is to join a veteran beastgirl who doesn't make a move on you. But also gets aggressive when other monsters hit on you and holds you close in bed when you complete missions or reach some goal together. Then after having a big final boss showdown she gets emotional over how far you've come from the cute novice you used to be and unleashes all her pent-up desires to make you father and husband that very night. Monsters that are dedicated to their anons sure are nice
>>34152967That Lich was showing off to Anon that she can down entire bottles without breathing
>>34154274>main enemies are human womenReminds me of how the Germanic faction in the first Rome Total War had a unit that was literally just called "screeching women". Good times
>>34152642>Nachos shitpost everywhere they can knowing some autist will show up at their cave>Shogs slowly shoggify your software for accessing their websites>Night Gaunts show up as sleep paralysis demons for viewing cursed images and videos>Mindflayers create magical malware that starts as a simple keylogger before expanding into a mental link with whoever uses that computerWendigos don't use the internet
>>34154551That's cheating!
>>34154573Are you sure Wendigos don't go to /ck/?
>>34154592>wend--chan hops on to /ck/>first thing she sees is a vegetarian meal>screams and punches the monitornever again
>>34154592Listen, Wendigos are so sensitive that they refuse to believe Greenworms exist, I don't think they could handle the internet
>>34147631Wholesomely loving your Gyaru momster!
>>34154628Wendigos and Greenworms are natural allies since they don't compete over food resources
>>34154551she can swallow large amounts of fluid without breathing, hmm?
Now that it's warming up, the wife can exercise outside again regularly.
>>34154720Hehehe, what a nerd. Look at those braids! Gonna yank them.
>>34154637Why is having a pure gyaru momster such an attractive dynamic?
>>34154592>MGE /ck/>meat general full of wendis and beastgirls posting about their favorite roasts>outrage when someone posts a steak with a green garnish>long winded posts discussing the merits as to why fish should be included in the meat discussion>veggie general>looks like a children's youtube channel comments section>"looks yumi">"gime eat plz">"i liek carrot">"mwee"
>>34154767what happens I post my "meat" on the general as if it was a juicy steak
>>34154798you wake up covered in a strange blanket with a loli underneath, also you're a yeti looking thing now for some reason and you can't control your breeding urge
Ushi Lilim is here! ...almost. I'll post her next thread along with an update to Agartha
"Yes hello, it is I, the local human shrine maiden."
>>34155056Who is Agartha
I'm convinced that the stores that sell underwear are all some Danuki ploy.Whenever I have dirty underwear, it goes missing. I KNOW they're being stolen by mamono but I'm now certain that mamono stealing underwear is a Nuki trick to get males to spend more, I've had to get so many pairs now.
>>34155215Just get a Shog and don't worry about buy underwear -or really anything- ever again
>>34155068Hello shrine maiden, you still giving out those FREE purification rituals?
Men selling their bodies to goblins and tanuki to obtain goods because they cant afford it with money sounds really un-manly. Like, dude, where's your fucking pride as a man and shit? Only women serve us, they should give us stuff for free because we said so.
>>34152642Nachos strike me as easy prey for bait posting
>>34155298I DO IT FOR FREE AND I AM HAPPY TO SERVE ANY MONSTER GIRL SEXUALLY.
>>34154628That's silly. Wendigos know their food eats plants.
>>34155298Just find and marry a Creeping Coin.
>>34155056Nice, can't wait
>>34155300They get sucked into it too hard.
>>34155295Price is one kisu.
>>34155371>MGE /biz/>PMG: Precious Metals General>Post you STACK(ed wife)>SILVER ENDS THE FED>Tanuki shills trying to get the boyim to invest in Zipanese Virta-Bux™>Numismatic spergs looking for a 1937 Huey Long commemorative Creeping Coin GF>Somehow more pictures of firearms than /k/ikimora
>>34155371>be cashier at a grocery store>some guy and a gold-skinned woman approach my till>human-monster couples are getting pretty common these days, huh>they are 1 dollar short>"alright, let me borrow your bathroom for a second">"s-sir it is employees onl-">too late, they just jumped inside>hear moaning and clinking sounds for almost half an hour>when they exit the woman is disheveled and the man is smiling, holding a gold coin>"all yours buddy">they leave holding hands and giggling, while I tiredly pick up my mop >have to clean up sexual fluids and small change from the bathroom for the rest of my shiftFucking monsters, I swear
>>34155528>Honey come to bed>I CAN'T! SOME RETARD ON 4MONSTER CALLED ME A DYKE!>come to bed or I'll stuff you in the wife bag for a week>Haha! What a cringe loser, he's gonna regret he ever messed with me--*Spider transformation sounds*>...>Worth it!
>>34155605>they forgot their groceriesI'm starting to think that's just roleplay sex for them
>>34155653>they order pizza>claim they forgot to have cash on hand to tip the delivery girl with>pizza-succ has to wait at the door and listen to them bang while she laments that all the lewd guys she delivers to are already taken
>>34155639What happens when shitposters make fun of spiderhusband?
So why should I consider a nacho?
>>34155753>Pizzabus finally finds a guy that's single>He orders pineapple on his pizza
>>34155809this is hate fucking territory.
>>34155809I'd marry a big-hipped pizzabus--how would she feel about jalapenos on her pizza?
>>34155809Pineapple pizza guys aren't too bad, it's the anchovy fellas that they warn you about in training videos.Borderline sociopaths.
>>34155850>here you are sir, a... pineapple... banana pepper... and green bell pepper pizza?>yeah sounds right thanks>pizzabus rapes the shit out of him on the doorstep all while telling him how he's disgracing pizza
>>34155942Anchovies are for... what?I think the last thing I used it in was some Paella?
>Welcome to [Insert local Sabbath branch] Anon! >We're here for all your pedophiliac needs!
>>34155942all i hear about anchovies is that theyre salty, kinda oily and have a bunch of unami flavor, which sounds alright for me
>>34155942Pineapples are sacrilege. Anchovies are tolerable.
>>34155942>on my first date with pizzabus>she talks about the pizza I ordered when we met>says she thinks pepperoni and mushrooms is a solid combo, asks if there's anything else I like>tell her that I actually keep a tin of anchovies to put on my pizzas myself since nobody stocks them>she breaks out in a cold sweatAnchovies are objectively a top-tier topping
Pineapple is sweet and Pizza is savory.Sweet and savory is the most basic fucking flavor combo possible, and hating it is a shit meme.
I don't mind ham and pinappleI just order "all the meats" or its equivlent
>>34156067Meatlovers
>>34156067So if you were given ham and pineapple, would you eat it?
>>34156055The texture is the bad part.
>>34156055except the texture of pineapple is extremely fibrous, its better to use a sauce thats sweeter if you want the sweetness, like adding sugar or use barbecue sauce instead, or maybe adding peaches
>>34155990yeah, they're pretty good, you should try it. When they're put on a pizza before it cooks, I think the oil on them spreads from the heat or something because the flavor is more balanced and uniform. Which is a shame since no pizza place around me offers them so I have to make my own if I want the best anchovy experience.
>>34156115What the fuck is this pineapple meme I see everywhere?
>>34156115Food is food anonIts not something outlandish like the bubble gum pizza or koolaid doughnuts, being offended about it is a waste of energy
>>34156182BBQ base hawaian pizza is rad
>>34156182>peaches>on fucking pizzawhat the actual fuck
>>34156253youre putting a pineapple on a pizza, youre not really in a position to argue since theyre both fruits, and its really common to grill peaches
>>34156304I'm not that anon you were talking to. I don't put pineapple on pizza.All that goes on pizza is meat and jalapenos.
If you like pineapple or any other sweet fruit on your pizza, you're going to alp. It's that simple. Same applies if you like veggie only pizzas. Cheese pizza? You get a loli.Pepperoni pizza? You get a basic wife.Meatlovers pizza? You get strong and/or thicc wife.Everything/deluxe pizza? You get a harem.
I swear nothing brings out the monkey rage in people more that the simple concepted of putting pineapple on pizza
>>34156337>You'll alp because I say solol
>>34156218I won't eat food I find unpleasant unless I'm fucking starving.
>>34156367you do you manI get it, but people act like is some sort of sin agianst a god they don't worship
>>34156366Yes. I will determine who alps here.
>>34156357>Monkey rageI mean it could be worse
>>34156055I've had ham and pineapple and it's the taste I don't like.>Just pick the pineapple offI did but the taste seeps into the rest of it.
alps, the lot of ye. I don't fucking eat pizza at all
>>34156430interesting, do you prefer more phallic foods?
I know it weirds some people out but i really like the extremist corruption aspect of DemonsOnce portal day is up i'm gonna instantly sign my contract and start travelling around places with my wife monsterizing women and matching couplesIt's for their own good whether they like it or not
>>34156473nah, just don't eat pizza anymore, I am currently eating tuna, brown and beans
>>34156492*rice
>>34156337but anon I'm vegetarian and so is my waifu
>>34156477I love their mission and how driven they are, as I agree with them. Being my waifu, I'd sign her contract too. That said, we'd fight to keep in consensual in all but the most dire circumstances and even then it would be a mana infusion rather than rape.
