My dream is to live in the woods with Alice and bake with her all day.
My dream is to live in the woods with Mamizou and bake-danuki with her all day.
>>26913511That would be nice, but what about living with Shinki-sama and Yumeko?
>>26913511imagine force feeding alice with all the stuff you bake to the point where she is too fat to move haha as a joke tho
>>26914762she ends up exploding like a mid 90s acid trip cartoon character into a bunch of confetti.
>>26913807PC98 trash is so overrated on /jp/. I wish these shitty ''characters'' would remain forgotten.
>>26919474I bet you like Mamizou too.
>>26913511I bet Alice kills and eats children. You know what they say about witches that live in the woods.
It's Yoshi's Cookie cookies! What kind is that? The kind with the jelly type stuff in the middle?
>>26913511I want to bake Alice!
My dream is to spend my life on the top of a mountain with Kanako, but to each his own.
>>26982404What's so bad about Mamizou?
>>26988521post board relevant material and not bing bong wahoo kudasai./jp/ isn't so inept that it can't tell what is in an image.
>>26982707Marisa is also a witch living in the woods
>>26913807Living with Sacchan and playing games all day!
>>26990994It's a Japanese game like Touhou
>>26992713nobody here likes n*ntendo, or c*pcom, or the other shit.
>>26913511I want to date Alice! I want to cure her depression and make her happy!
>>26913511I love alice so much
>>26913511I was going to say "You're dream is to live with a creep?" but I thought about it for a while and I fucking love Alice.
>>26913807A chore. Shinki has who knows how many kids. She might even approach you with the proposed to make more of them. Yumeko's job would be a cakewalk compared to babysitting Shinki all day, oh wait.
Is this too much to ask...
>>27165068What do you mean.You can ask Alice but she's hard to understand. She'd probably tell you to go away despite wanting company.
>>26913807Just how big is Shinki.In some images, she towers over or is the same height as Alice, even though Alice herself is rather tall. In other images, she's funsized like the one in your post.
>>26913807Isn't the makai a realm filled with overpowered demons ?
Shin Megami Tensei - Gensokyo Edition.
>>27211356About this big
>>27227716No, I don't believe you.
>>27225933supposedly...being on her good side is a good thing, but even that isn't safe because Mima schooled her and Yuuka basically murdered everyone and took a vacation to Gensokyo.
>>27250546You say that like it's a bad thing.
>>27319920I am inclined to disagree
>>26913511Shanghai is an onahole!
>>26913709Well if anything at all goes missing, I'll be sure to tell Reimu it was you
Your bride awaits.
>>27385007At last... Wait, that's not Alice.
my dream is to get lost in the woods, come across Alice and have casual sex with her overnight before leaving the next morning.
>>26913511I like this idea but I want to be alice. Is that weird?
>>27515252Fuck. I just wanted to be like the cool kids.
>>26993065>cure her depressionYou aren't Marisa. You can't do that.
>>26993065The best cure is repeated impregnation
Alice doesn't deserve the slack she gets. She deserves more.
Paizuri with the lonely doll girl.
>>27657416amazing.this is all it took. nobody loves alice.
>>27657416>>27689985I was going to make a post saying how much I love Alice but I forgot!I'm sorry, Alice-chan!I'm also sorry for forgetting your birthday!
>>26913511Yeah, like every afternoon after reading together while drinking tea go to the kitchen and, with both of our hands, make the most delicious dough ever. While dessert is ready we would dance around the place, hugging eachother. And then, when it's everything's ready, we would be sitting in the kotatsu, eating the richest cookies ever while she's charmingly smiling for having you as her partner.I love her so badly
nooooooooooo~that's rightnoooooooooooo~bodynot a single body~ loves Alice Margatroid!~nooooooooooo~that's rightnoooooooooooo~bodynot a single body~ loves Alice Margatroid!~nooooooooooo~that's rightnoooooooooooo~bodynot a single body~ loves Alice Margatroid!~Absolutely nobody~
>>27802619I do!I love Alice-chan! She's beautiful, kind, passionate and she has a great sense of fashion and the cutest smile in Gensokyo!
>>27806920Yes, Alice. I indulged in your fetishes when you asked me to. So it's only fair that you do the same for me!
>>26913511I want to bake buns in Alice's ovenA few dozen would be good
>>27810281I want to bake in Alice's oven if you know what I mean.
I want to eat Alice's peanut butter cookies without telling her that I have an allergy. Then I'd pretend to be shocked that there's peanut butter in it and make her feel bad for days!
>>27848555>peanut allergyDon't you die from that stuff?
>>27893781That'd be good, since it'd traumatize Alice and make her feel guilty for many years, possibly for the rest of her life.
>>27894693Haunting Alice's house and only uttering the word "Why" over and over again!
I want to be Alice.
>>27902810I would bully and molest you if you were Alice.
>>27894693Why would you throw your life away like that?
>>27913066Why is Lolice wearing Youmu's clothes?
>>27985851She isn't though
>>27985142>>28047570Alice, shortly after posting on /gensokyo/ ">tfw no gf" for the 10,000th time
>>28048973>I finally understand why I don't have any friends!>It's all the computer's fault!Why does Alice so delusional?
>>28049206Her way of thinking is smart. She spent more time at the computer than she did socializing. While she was sitting in her chair for hours, she could have gone to Marisa's house and had fun or even gone to the Human Village to perform another one of her Puppet Shows.
>>28049519Alice is not welcome in Marisa's home.
>>28049519Alice has multiple restraining orders on her to stay away from Marisa and the village.
>>28049519>She spent more time at the computer than she did socializingBut that's her own fault, not the computer's. The way she speaks makes it sound like she's completely innocent.
>>28050810Thats the point
Alice is a rude asshole!
>>28052935The worst part is that Alice also looks terrible with a randoseru.Those red backpacks are for lolis only. Pathetic hags should be forbidden from wearing them.
>>26913511My dream is to live in the woods with Alice and get baked with her all day.
I can't believe Alice would do such a thing!
>>28052935Forget about Alice being an asshole, Yukari's hair went from outside to in!
>>28063211Why can't Alice contain her jealousy?
>>28063211That's a really cute looking Patche.
>>28108065You grew out your hair Alice? I almost didn't recognize you!
>>28112447And grew a bust size or two!
>>28115023I can't believe it! Alice is still a growing girl!
>>26913511My dream is to live in the woods with Alice and mate with her all day.
My dream is to live in the woods with Alice and bully her all day.
My dream is to live in Gensokyo and become friends with everyone but Alice
My dream is to live in the woods with Marisa and go out on dates with her, while Alice cries in the distance, regretting never telling Marisa how she feels.
Creep or not, Alice is around when it counts. Even among the bullying she receives, she's a good friend.
My dream is to live in the woods with Alice and bring home as well as go out on dates with several other girls, while Alice cries in the distance, regretting never telling me how she feels.
Um, Alice can explain...
>>28063211Marisa needs to do her own work and study instead of relying on Patchouli to do it all for her.
>>28287668Marisa gets confused sometimes, but not all the time, Patchy helps fill in the gaps. Alice, on the other hand, is a shitty, jealous freeloader!
>>28230306>>28230379Your explanation better be better than your Santa Claus excuse Alice!
>>28296420Eirin said it's very good for one's mental health!
>>26913511I always thought Margatroid was a weird name.Is she a transformer?
>>28346130You'd think it to be too unusual to be real, but it's just a different spelling of the English surname Murgatroyd.
>>27250546No one in Touhou has boobs except Nemuno.
understandable, nothing better than getting baked
>>28343758It's time to up your medicine again Alice
>>28457112Holy shit Shanghai is weak.A bow can't weigh that much can it?
>>28500965Shanghai skipped arm day, please don't bully her.
I just remembered a few posts from a while back in a few previous Alice Threads.What level of quality can you expect from Alice's own brew?
>>28537593It would be a cheap knock-off of whatever the human village brews.
>>28537891Alice! You don't consume your own products! You sell them!
>>28580312>You don't consume your own products!She does when she's sad.
>>28581262What do you mean? Whenever I see her, she's all happy! Are you saying she becomes turns into that mess whenever someone isn't around?
>>28581902Alice takes happy pills before leaving her house!
>>28581902When there's no one is around, she starts thinking that no one actually likes her and people who are nice to her only do so out of politeness, and that if she talks about her problems to other people, they'll start disliking and avoiding her.Unless someone is constantly assuring her that she's loved, or at the very least interacting with her, she'll always think that no one likes her.
What will Alice do this winter?
>>28593652>meHeh, that's a funny way to say specifically me.
my dream is to fuck her all day
I can't believe it.I spent the better part of 2 years looking for a shitpost I saw, when I used the exact image for an even bigger shitpost that was posted in the thread that the shitpost I was looking for originated from.I am a dumbass.
>>28633899Just buy an onahole and use thatAlice is too high maintenance.
>>28633899>>28634504Another alternative is making Alice feel loved, fuck her hard and rough for an entire night, then never call her back.
>>28634797You'd just be a male Alice at that point.
I wanna Kancho Alice!
>>27657416I want to be the one hugging her, lovingly.
Do you have any of her looking especially scary or creepyBut with no blood or weapons
>>28652613I don't think so, but I'll look.
>>28646042Alice likes to play with the hearts of other people?
>>28660936No, he's being a creep.
Will Alice make it to the toilet?
>>28759359Why is Alice so often associated with omorashi?Is this one of her disgusting fetishes?
>>28759359It appears that it is currently occupied!>>28759646She just has a very weak bladder, please do not bully her.
>>28759732>She just has a very weak bladderI want to tickle her in the middle of the village so she wets herself in public.
>>28765199But who will clean the mess?
>>28816025Why would you clean it? It's either a paved path or just a dirt path. It'll soak in. The only thing bad is that it might smell.
>ywn have hot sweaty raw oyakodon sex with Alice and Shinkiwhy live?
>>28951107Who are you quoting?
>>28951107Shinki would punish you harshly for misusing the quotation function.
>>28951107I want to have hot sweaty raw oyakodon sex with Lolice and Shinki.
Say what you will, but I would certainly kiss Alice. If she brushed her teeth thoroughly, rinsed, and smelled like roses. I mean just look at this. Satori is so fucking lucky to spend one on one time with the Puppeteer Magician.
>>28952416I wish I could see Shinki punish Alice.
>>29021602>W-wait>Pleas-Anon, I don't think Satorin consented.
>>29026566It's her fault for barging in.
>>29026895I'm pretty sure it became Alice's fault after she found out that that the cock was telepathically linked to Satori yet continued to use it like a dildo regardless.
>>28759359no, that's why Shinki keeps her in diapers
>>29060843Alice wears panties dude.She's not a child anymore.
>>29071486even worse, she's a womanchild who's diaper dependent.
>>29074604What the fuck! This is making me feel bad for Alice... Alice, you pervert! Stop making me feel this way!
>I've got Shanghai, so I'm not lonely>Not lonelyyy~
>>29076617Alice is adorable, but I hate her. I hate her because I can see myself ending up like her.
>>29093812Why would you play with dolls, anon?
>>29076617I like how she uses いる instead of ある there
>>29104191Because i'm lonely and have too much of an active imagination for my own good
>>29122161That's loser talk, anon. Knock it out! Next thing you know you're bringing your action figures over to Alice's home to play house with her dolls!
>>29122161Don't say such Alice-type things.
>>29124697But I am a loser. I spend all day doing nothing but sitting in my room, listening to music, fantasizing about gensokyo, and only occasionally working on my failing university grades. I don't hang out with people, and all of my friendships are base-level, by my own choice. >>29124826But why anon
>>29120516Alice thinks that her dolls are actually alive.She's creepy.
Alice is indecisive.
>>29140017Stop making me relate to Alice more
>>29126453>But I am a loser. I spend all day doing nothing but sitting in my room, listening to music, fantasizing about gensokyo, and only occasionally working on my failing university grades. I don't hang out with people, and all of my friendships are base-level, by my own choice.There are guys who have been getting drunk since February.
I think Alice is kinda cute
>>29204732I think Alice is amazing
>>29204732I think Alice sucks!
I want to have sex with alice
I want to have nonconsensual sex with alice
>>29239533I want Alice to make me have nonconsensual sex with her.
I want Alice to make me have consensual sex with her!
Raised to be a lady by the golden ruleAlice was the spawn of a public schoolWith a double-barrel name in the back of her brainAnd a simple case of mummy-doesn't-love-me bluesReality it seems, was just a dreamShe couldn't get it on with the boys on the sceneBut what do you expect from a chick who's just sixteen?And hey, hey, hey (hey, hey, hey) you know what I meanAll the young girls love AliceTender young Alice, they sayCome over and see meCome over and please meAlice, it's my turn today
I remember when rock was youngMe and Marisa had so much funHolding hands and skimming stonesHad an old gold Chevy and a place of my ownBut the biggest kick I ever gotWas doing a thing called the Crocodile RockWhile the other kids were Rocking Round the ClockWe were hopping and bopping to the Crocodile RockWell Crocodile Rocking is something shockingWhen your feet just can't keep stillI never knew me a better time and I guess I never will!Oh Lawdy mama those Friday nightsWhen Marisa wore her dresses tight!And the Crocodile Rocking was out of sightBut the years went by and the rock just diedMarisa went and left us for some foreign mikoLong nights crying by the record machineDreaming of my Chevy and my old blue skirt
When are you gonna come down?When are you going to land?I should have stayed on the farmI should have listened to my old manYou know you can't hold me foreverI didn't sign up with youI'm not a present for your friends to openThis girl's too young to be singing, thebluuuuuu-eeee-ssss aaaaahhhh aaah aaaahhAaaah aaaaahSo goodbye yellow brick roadWhere the dogs of society howlYou can't plant me in your penthouseI'm going back to my ploughBack to the howling old owl in the woodsHunting the horny back toadOh I've finally decided my future liesBeyond the yellow brick roaaaaaaaaaadddddaaaaah aaaah aaaahaaaaah aaaah aaaahWhat do you think you'll do then?I bet that'll shoot down your planeIt'll take you a couple of vodka and tonicsTo set you on your feet againMaybe you'll get a replacementThere's plenty like me to be foundMongrels who ain't got a pennySniffing for tidbits like you on thegrooooo-uuuu-nnnn-dddd aaaaaah aaaah aaaahaaaaah aaahSo goodbye yellow brick roadWhere the dogs of society howlYou can't plant me in your penthouseI'm going back to my plough
Poor alice is so lonely she's singing karaoke by herself
>>29350495shhhhhhhhI'm trying to listen.
>>29357032You're listening into her solo karaoke? That's just horrible anon! What are you going to do if she sees you spying on her?
>>29357071Laugh at her!
>>29357443That must be the first time she actually ate the spaghetti she made
>>29357641She's not actually eating the spaghetti. She's pretending to be a singer while imagining the fork is a microphone, as can be seen here >>29287085She just got caught and is trying to act normal!
>>29357443But she would break down in tears if you did that! Imagine how embarrassing it would be for her! Imagine how much it would ruin her!
>>29357893What a dork
>>29357071How are you going to spy when you're sitting right next to her?
>>29424851Why would I be sitting right next to her?
>>29394455Alice will become a better person because of that. She must learn that life is cruel and not sunshine and rainbows!
>>29426046But the only reason she's so weird is because she was abused by her mother growing up! She's already had plenty of that!
>>29426246Quite the opposite. She was her mom's little darling. No matter what she did, she was praised and loved. Little discipline was instilled into her. Giving her delusions of grandeur. She needs a healthy dose of reality to snap out of it.YOU SUCK AT CLARINET, ALICE!
>>29426643>YOU SUCK AT CLARINET, ALICE!Alice is the best and cutest clarinet player ever, and you're just jealous that you can't play as well as she can!
>>29426246That's what Alice wants you to believe, since she likes to blame others for her own problems.Dating Alice would be a nightmare, since she'd start blaming you for everything and threaten to commit suicide if you try to break up with her.
>>29426046>She must learn that life is cruel and not sunshine and rainbows!Yuuka being a helpful teacher!
>>29426887The reason why she can't play an instrument to save her life is because you prevented Yumeko from providing her with constructive criticism, Shinki!
>>29426643This is a beautiful Alice, I would be there in the crowd of the theater dabbing my tears with my handkerchief, tugging on the arm of the families sitting next to me, whispering "that's my wife." Truly someone you can be proud of.
>>29427669They'd all be too busy paying attention to the real star of the show. The main reason why the halls are packed!
>>29429001I fucking love pictures of 2hus playing violin because they're always wrong in some way
>>29427605Yumeko is too brutal to provide constructive criticism!
>>29431458Yumeko is brutally honest, and that is exactly what Alice needed. Unfortunately, Shinki was too blind to see that, and now her most beloved daughter is a failure at life!!
>>27515098its not weird at all anon, don't listen to the hatersnow just put on the dress, get on all fours, and wait for /jp/ to run a train on you
>>29459371I'm gonna leave flowers on Alice's school desk!
>>29461155And I'm gonna laugh at her and say "Oh, look, Alice! Someone was nice enough to pick out the flowers for your funeral already!"
>>29459571but then anon will get bullied hard like Alice is...
>>29459571>>29463610I wouldn't bully anon if he were to put on a dress and let me use him like a girl, no matter how much of a loser he is.
>>29426046Still crying over those dolls ありす? Here, let me wash those tears away.
>>29464059anon is more than just your sex toy! he deserves better! I will marry him, move out into a woodland cabin with him, spend every morning baking and eating big batches of cookies and brownies with him, every afternoon playing vidya and watching anime with him, and every evening carrying him to bed and fiercely making love to him! he's mine!
>>29465782You're a big, dumb meanie!
>>29472317I wanna hug Alice to rid her of her temporal troubles.
>>29472622Alice doesn't let go. She still holds a grudge against Mai when she stole a candy bar from her when she was still a kid.Alice will never forgive Yuuka!
>>29476413That Shanghai has me worried.
>>29476537It's her first day of work. She's just very excited!
>>29476413>>29476996Team Shanghai Alice!
>>29479172I can't believe Shanghai's name comes before Alice's! Pathetic!
>>29479477>I can't believe Shanghai's name comes before Alice's!Isn't it normal for the sidekick's name to come second?
>>29476413She doesn't let go? What do you mean she doesn't let go? I can't sit there for hours as she slowly drifts into slumber in the middle of the day!
Don't fuck with Alice! Unless you're Yuuka.
>>29464059well at least someone here is a gentleman
>>29519944>MarisaI'd fuck with Marisa if you know what I mean.
>>29580543Go away, Alice.
>>29519944Hey Marisa, wanna /ll/?
>>29519944Alice is looking pretty tall here.
I want to rape Alice until she stops being gay for Marisa.
>>29583456>>29581594>>29580850I've never consumed any 2hu related media I don't know who any of these characters are I've been pretending this entire time
>>29583377Why is Alice such an unlikeable horsebeast?
>>29585370>>29583377Maybe that stupid bitch Mari should stop messing around with Alice's stuff!!
>>29459371I want to invite Alice to eat on the rooftop!Making Alice wait the entire period to eat together as I eat in the classroom like normal! Ignoring Alice that day as I pretend I don't see or hear her!
Is she dead yet
>>29609462No, ZUN hasn't gotten rid of her. I don't think he will either for that matter.
>>29608758You god damn asshole how fucking DARE you treat Alice that way! You should be buried alive you motherfucker!
I want alice to make me soup and tea to help with this cold
>>29610236Here is your bottle of soup and a teabag!
>>29610491Hahaha, surely this is a joke
>>29611274So Alice goes out of her way to help you and this is how you respond? It's never good enough for you, huh? Ungrateful sack of shit!!
>>29613571What about it?
>>29627392I want to buy it off her.
>>29627392wait for it..!
>>29627392Why does Marisa look like she's about to vomit?
>>29654596Alice hasn't washed her tits in months so theres lots of crusty semen still stuck there.
>>29654596Look what you've done!!
>>29654815I didn't do anything, but holy shit is Marisa okay? What strange medicine did Alice give her?
>>29655779Wouldn't you like to know, Eiki?
>>29664043I wish Alice wasn't so creepy, she's a really smart and beautiful girl that i'm sure would make a great wife if it wasn't for her horrible tendencies
Alice please love me
>>29693827Is that you Marisa?Wait... she wouldn't say that...
>>29739761You're right, i'm not Marisa, i'm you
>>29613406Because Alice didn't effectively help treat my cold, it's developed into a sinus infection and possible pneumonia. I'm not joking
>>29765529It was nice knowing you, anon. Hopefully Alice will kill herself out of regret and guilt, and the two of you can be happy together in heaven.
>>29740387Wait, what? But..! Th- Impossible!
>>29768374I am Alice, but I am not her. I am the one who holds Alice in the most contempt, but I am the one who is contemptable. Alice is my possible future, and I am her wasted youth. We're the few that could understand each other, but we'd sooner kill each other our of contempt. Noone likes to see their reflection when they're ugly as sin.
Hey Anon!Congratulations on marrying Alice! I wish you a happy life together!
>>29785831Alice, your attempt at being profound was pathetic! And do take the medicine that Eirin has prescribed you, you're starting to suffer from a split personality!