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We share stories from our tech jobs
I'll start
>be shut in developer in a smallish company
>mostly legacy code from the late 90s that nobody bothers updating because money keeps rolling in
>so shit that now it's basically every bug fix is just adding a new if condition and some retarded logic to handle it
>entire system should be gutted at this point from all these exceptions
>outside of devs, the entire team is bluehaired, tattoo'd liberated women
>some of the dev guys bring those women coffee and a muffin every single morning
>mfw this is my first ever dev job

I'm seriously considering switching careers if it turns out this is how it usually is in most dev companies. It's not worth it.
Anyway, share stories so I know what to expect
Lmao just do leetcodes, learn how to be personable, and get into real tech.

>Be mois
>Fun and exciting work
>will likely get return offer for double the salary
No. i'm a neet :^)
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Please be LARP.
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>be server admin
>get a ticket from a client at 4am, saying their website (part of Renault, pretty big deal) is running slow since evening and images aren't loading properly
>weird, load on the server looks normal, go check out said website
>be greeted with a classic "pls accept cookies" bullshit pop-up, click "accept"
>website hangs, Firefox says "this page is slowing down your computer"
>huh, move browser to another monitor and start investigating
>after a few minutes, everything slows down to a crawl, keystrokes take seconds to register
>check htop on my desktop
>2 threads are under full load, system is actively swapping, at this point I can't even kill the process
>pull the plug
>check out the website again with dev tools
>mfw that button launches JS that makes around 100 requests EVERY SECOND, mostly to google's trackers AND LEAKS 1GB OF MEMORY IN 2 MINUTES, I AM NOT EXAGGERATING
>tell client (politely) that their website is shit
>no response in 2 days

I checked out the site later that day and saw debug messages in prod, lmao
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>put coffee mug on keyboard so Teams shows me online 9 hours a day
>get raise for working hard
Not a larp. Working for the FAGMAN.

If you missed the big tech boat, get into crypto development. My next personal project is gonna be a Blockchain game on Cardano, it's the ticket and I get to learn meme Haskell.
still waiting for them to implement smart contracts, huh? unironically though I'm studying solidity and web dev full time, wish me luck Anon.
> Be new intern
> Go to this company
> Two month is training videos
> Bored.jpg
> Make a userscript + autohotkey to autoplay them
> Made a shitty demo
> Third month
> Have two stakeholders to deal with for small work
> Kept getting asked to ask this dude this question: I kept forgetting
> Boss had to lead meetings even though it was my job
> Fucked up on getting access to an environment
> Boss tells me what the fuck happened: I told her I was disorganized
> Friday comes: I managed to get access and first time actually working
> Get called to a meeting
> Got fired
> Drive to their work with the stuff
> Nobody was their. Waited for 30 minutes before calling them and dropping the stuff
> Come home
Best part about this whole experience is they have a no reference policy: so while I did fuck up, I can say whatever the fuck I want on what I did. It's the funniest shit to me, when I say I completed two projects
I'm high af but I love this pepe

Working from home maybe 1 hour a day. Get baked because I've automated most of my job and can just sit muted in meetings.
What type of smallish company is it?
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>not just using mommys kredit card
Yessir, we'll see if I waste my time learning memeskell. Only planning to make a small portion of the sensitive logic on the chain anyway, so shouldnt be hard.

Wishing you luck anon. May we all fix our autism with the intellect that autism provides.
>be me, wanting to join this company as DevOps
>interview goes very smoothly, I actually have fun with the interviewer
>ffw a week, they accepted me
>1st day at work, go to work, everyone is wearing suits and shirts, have rianbow hair, tattoos, etc
>turns out those are all part of Java department
>reach DevOps, everyone seems normal, friendly, chill, celebrate me joining
>some guy from php managed to fuck up a server, they sent the newcomer
>i go there, try to see what's wrong, restart the server and it worked
>3 hours later, it's down again
>open logs to see what's wrong, everything seems fine, I diagnose the status just to be sure, it was down, but no actual error message, I just start it up again.
>at this point I have no clue what's going on
>write a bash script to restart it if it's down.
>guys tell me that server is already fucked, some bloke who left before me was putting it back uo every time, never found anything wrong with it
>okay, not my problem anymore, lol
>5 months later, I somehow ended up on that server again, started checking the modules
>one of them was outdated and would somehow fail at some point, thus killing the whole process
>update it
>2 months later - no more server problems
I like working here
thank you based god
Sounds really fun anon
>CAD drafter making tooling
>order interface managing our projects betweens customer service reps and drafters and engineers starts shitting out dialog box errors
>like hundreds per hour
>IT lost the order interface solution, nothing to be done
>started fiddling in vba and playing script kid like the underpaid fuckwit i am
>write sub to programmatically identify and send post messages to close dialog boxes as they appear in the background and return previous active window back to focus
>praised as a god by coworkers
>supervisor pulled me aside and told me to stop wasting time at work
>mfw i complete 180% more orders on average than the next best coworker while I was scripting
I'll be leaving soon if this shit happens again
I've been wondering: is the data entry job market filled with these jobs? I've been wanting to do a weekend job, but if I can automate it then that would be great.
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>new to company, doing troubleshooting and solving issues in pretty comfy team
>dev team finishes up new project, testing is done in QA environment
>all cool, point everything to PROD
>everything starts going to shit, system crashes everywhere
>we discover that some IT guy fucked up the configuration and some of the QA data ends up in PROD DB, mixed with the already ongoing PROD data
>data inconsistencies everywhere, have to painstakingly go row by row fixing shit manually on the DB
>outrage from the client, starts threatening with breaking the contract not 1 day after the go-live
>everyone loses their shit and my team plus the developers go to war room to try and solve the mess
>manage to sort everything out after 2 weeks of pain
>guy doesn't get fired, in fact is now an IT lead

And this is how I know I will never get fired from this place, I've never seen someone fuck up so royally and get away with it in my entire professional life
working on legacy eclipse rcp that gets configured using a db, you do the math
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> be engineer at F500 company
> department lays off some people a while ago
> "the money just isn't there", etc.
> workloads drastically increase for several months because there aren't enough people to do this much work
> fast forward to today
> "We will now be contracting some of our design work out to Tech Mahindra."

>got fired for being a brainlet
>work at call Center in it Support hell desk
>new on the job and say forbidden words oh look there's no calls in the queues
>whole office 20+ PPL descends on me jokingly yelling NEVER SAY that anon everyone will ring up now noooo aaaaaaah
Good times and comfy

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