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>get called to HR
>"Anon, we noticed that in the past 30 days your net lines of code contributed is -2000. Care to explain why you are actively harming this project rather than contributing? You are the first person I have seen with NEGATIVE PRODUCTIVITY"

How do you respond?
>>
I’m making it lighter to improve speed
>>
>>79692382
>You're a brainlet psychologist faggot parasite and you don't know what the fuck you're talking about you fucking retarded bitch.

That's what id say in my mind, I'd actually say something along the lines of:

>I'm cleaning up the code by removing unnecessary parts that slow down the application
>>
>>79692382
If you clean your toilet are you making it less efficient?

I wait for an answer and I'm presumably excused several awkward seconds later
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>>79692382
Tender my resignation and move on.
>>
>>79692450
are you implying you have been producing shit all this time?
>>
I have been translating our codebase to Japanese, which uses less characters overall. What you’re actually seeing is a net gain in productivity when language inflation is accounted for
>>
>>79692382
I'm making the comments more concise
>>
pull out my dick
>>
>>79692465
No, but my colleagues have
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>>79692465
Yes. Yes I am.
>>
>>79692475
>I have been translating our codebase to Japanese
why?
because nips are too lazy to learn engrish?
>>
>>79692382
>How do you respond?
How the hell should I know? you haven't even told me if they're black.
>>
>>79692450
ahahahahahahaa. gonna remember that line. so fucking alpha.
>>
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>>79692382
Due to the inaccurate assumption of lines equating to productivity many others have felt the pressure to add extra unnecessary code causing bloat and inefficiencies. I have rectified this problem by removing and reworking all of it which in the long run will save us millions in extra processing power.
>>
>>79692382
>get called to HR
Wow, imagine being in your 20s and still not having started your own business and still being a fucking wageslave. Pathetic.
>>
>>79693007
This 2bh f@m.
Either be an entrepreneur or be a neet, wage slaving is the lowest of the low. Have some fucking dignity.
>>
WHY STAYVUHN
>>
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>Get called by HR
>Ask them if they would like to sit in on a meeting where I outline my workflow
>Just explain my work and put it on them that this is counter productive due to the assumptions they made
>ask if a manager has an issue with my performance and if we could mediate to solve the issue
If they want to waste my time I'll waste theirs and do less work
>>
>>79693007
Sorry but I have ethical standards and I consider profit to be theft.
>>
>>79693007
My friends with own business:
>i need new clients
>paying taxes
>accounting
>stupid staff, need new one
>70h a week
>income 5000$
>muh corona

Wageslave Me:
>office 9-5
>7000$
>corona? Not affected

Own business is a pain in the ass
>>
>>79692382
holy kek this pic actually happened?
>>
>>79693436
Obviously shopped, but interesting video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkRjIq8Cp2A
>>
>>79692533
Code is faster in kanji.
>>
>>79693212
sounds like they have shit businesses.
>>
>>79693171
/thread
>>
A good day is when you simplify and remove a lot of redundant code, HR-chan.
>>
>>79692382
HR wouldn't get involved in that capacity at any stage of the grievance process you unemployed larper.
>>
>>79693496
i fucking love that entire channel, best documentaries in the game
>>
>>79692533
Less characters = less disk space = less $$ spent on disks/cloud space
>>
>>79693691
/g/ is full of NEET gaymers, what do you expect
>>
Story time

>4gb codebase that was copied from another project
>Mostly fucked
>Full of defects, JS spagettie, html in .txt files
>Only 2% of the webpages are used, everything else is turned off
>Had to implement new pages anyway
~
>Static code reviews for relulatory purpouses
>Tens of thousands of defects on the unused pages that HAVE to be fixed
>Yes they MUST be fixed anon
>Ok
>Start deleting the unused pages
>Called into HR one day
>"why are you removing functionality"
>We don't use those pages
>"But you are deleting code that we might want to use"
>I explain how source control works
>Based senior developer called in to confirm
>He calls them retards, doesn't even answer their question
>>
>>79692382
Just explain how what you did improved the code base then immediately start looking for your next job.
>>
>>79693007
t. NEET
>>
>>79692475
Japanese encodes less information per word than english
>>
>>79694363
I'm still not understanding why anyone so clueless would be monitoring line additions in git
>sorry anon I'm out I think you're a larper
>>
>>79694363
>>He calls them retards, doesn't even answer their question
Based boomer chad
>>
>tfw getting paid per line of the code so I throw in a lot of comments
>>
>>79695137
Can't you just spam ENTER?
>>
>actually as you can see here by these charts, i have contributed exactly zero lines of code in the last six years, and have recieved nothing but praise from my superiors and co-workers. Would you like a cookie? I brought cookies.
>>
KISS
>>
>>79692382
one motherfucker did this at the police station in town. He leaned back too far and rippen through that floor below him. I guess he fell through about a floor before he landed in somebody's cell.
They still use the same interrogation room, but there's a huge duct tapped patch over that carpet on the floor.
>>
>>79695113
And japanese words contain fewer characters than english

please try to keep up with the class
>>
>>79693496
I remember watching that when it came out, along with the news crew interview where he learns they already found the body. I took that instance that he just didn't know she was dead and was shocked, before I learned of the rest. I think he's guilty as sin but he did the right thing in the interrogation of acting monotone/emotionless/zero answers.
>>
>>79693705
Except those characters are 2-byte
>>
>>79692382

I actually personally believe there should be at least 1 person in a company that is true mean gremlin employed only to delete code and drink tears.
>>
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>>79693171
>I consider profit to be theft.
>>
>>79693171
Your existence is theft of air and food. KYS immediately.
>>
>>79696768
Air and food are basic human rights.
>>79696489
>no argument detected
>>
>I removed all the line breaks so everything is now in one line and executed at the same time and the project is literally 2000 times faster
>>
>>79693171
Thank you gommie man. Please keep making frew software.
>>
>>79692382
>How do you respond?
I'm calling CSO & IT head. Why the fuck an HR has access to our gitlab?
>>
>>79692382
"Just a bit of stage magic"
>>
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>>79693171
>I consider profit to be theft.
>>
>>79692382
If you went in fully clear with your manager setting this moronic net LoC as your performance metric, then you fucked up, otherwise I'd wonder why this person is asspulling a metric unrelated to expected measurements.
>>
>>79696287
whitespace isn't code, comments are
>>
>>79692382
Most competent companies will keep records/items of what you were working on. If you were working on something where 2k lines being deleted was required then there should be no issue.

Your code should also always be reviewed or should be between gated check-ins for separate environments dev/prod/testing

If you work for a company that has no historical record of what you work on + hot releases to production you work in a horribly shit startup, get out.

Otherwise there would be a trail leading to why you deleted 2k lines or it would have had to be verified either by the environment not experiencing problems, or by a code review.

If I was in a position where someone magically deleted 2k lined with no record, I would grill their ass too. Retard.

I can tell you either have never worked a programming job in your life, or you have only ever worked for the blacked code monkey zoo in existence.
>>
>>79692382
I'm optimizing the code of the project by removing lines that don't need to be there, simplifying everything and making it faster and less buggy.
>>
>>79698188
> someone magically deleted 2k lined with no record, I would grill their ass too
> NEGATIVE PRODUCTIVITY
Clearly it's not that. Ass griller ;)
>>
>>79692382
>How do you respond?
im refactoring
>>
>>79693548
That's most small businesses. Even if they have high revenue their margins usually suck ass. $1 million a year is jackshit when your gross margin is like 10%
>>
>>79693171
so you volunteer at your workplace?
wageslave without a wage is literally a slave
>>
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>>79692382
Looks like we've found a new bug then.
productivity = abs(productivity);

Another job well done.
>>
>>79695122
They don't monitor the source control. However, they do read the fix details on the tickets.
>>
>>79692382
Buffer overflow, versioning software must be using a signed 16 bit int to track lines
I'll take a look at it once I get back to my desk and push my current work
>>
>>79692382
>git rebase -i --root
>edit initial commit so that I'm the author
>fixup all other commits to the initial commit
>git push -f
What are you talking about? I'm the only one doing work here.
>>
>>79692382
>yeah I removed some bitcoin mining APIs that [person I don't like] was using. I've been trying to tell you guys he's bad news but nobody listens to me.
>>
>>79697078

Whoever said you were human?
>>
this is shopped right its making me lose my shit
>>
>>79693145
>If they want to waste my time I'll waste theirs and do less work

You're playing their game anon, HR invents all this pointless bullshit to justify their existence.
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>>79692450
fucking based
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>>79696349
best post
>>
>>79692382
i would write out on a bit of paper
printf("h");
printf("e");
printf("l");
printf("l");
printf("o");
printf("\n");

can be written as
printf("hello\n");

more efficient and readable

then i would report them to HR for wasting my time while clearly not understanding programming, make them have to deal with a report against themselves
>>
>>79696383
>programs in APL
>comments in Japanese
maximum density
>>
>>79692382
"I didn't realize HR did code reviews, this is pretty weird. Have you talked to my line manager about this first?"



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