>live in an apartment >neighbor gets locked outside>too high so ladder isn't enough>building has this structural beam facing the facade >use my legs and back to go up around 40ft>parents are freaking out I might die if I fall, older neighbor is saying boomer shit, neighbor who's locked outside is miring>easily save the day>"hey thanks a lot anon, are you a firefighter or something?"Thanks /fit/.t. calisthenics dyel
>>61996065Sometimes things will fall off the counter and I’ll catch them. Feels bretty good
>>61996065>the delusional autistic kid climbing on building again
>>61996065ok.. so how did you save the person? you carried them back down to safety? you had a magical key to unlock the door?
>>61996065Ran three quarter mile to catch a bus, it took me about 3:45 which is 5min mile pace. If I had taken another 30 seconds to get there I’d have missed the bus
>>61996065What exactly did you do in the end???
>>61996227Bro why are you being mean? WAGMI>>61996351They simply let the door shut with the keys inside. All I had to do was open the door normally so she and her kids could go inside again.
>>61996065One time I scaled the outside of a three story apartment block to get inside from the balcony because I locked myself out
>>61996366>>61996422Based. >>61996404Went in through the window and opened the door.
>>61996065>Dad has an accident on his motorcycle>Run over a fuckin great Dane>Site is 1.3 kilometers away from my home>Google says it would take 18 mins to get there running>Get there in 10 mins>Help the old man into the ambulance and take the bike home to avoid the impoundI just wish I wore proper sneakers, fuckin flat vans made my heels ache for some days, cardio does help at situations like this.
>>61997655>10 minutes to cover 1300mAnon you should work your cardio more often, you could have been there easily in less than 5.
>>61996065When I was still 280 lbs. and competed in strongman, I pushed a good handful of cars out of the road or out of ditches. Other than that, I was just the guy everyone I fucking knew called on every time they needed to move furniture. It sucked.
>>61997812Yeah that was early this year ( around January) and was not training at that moment, setting the sneaker stuff aside I also had to stop for traffic because the street where he was is usually very traffic heavy, but yeah now I can do it in less time since I resumed training
>>61996406Can you explain the situation a little bit more?I don’t get it. Reading OP it sounds like they are locked out of their apartment on their balcony. You scale up to their balcony but then how do you open the door? If the door’s not locked can’t they just open it?
Had to row hundreds of pounds of molten glass to prevent a furnace back-clog at my job, used long metal spikes with hooks on the end to do it. Room was easily 100+ degrees.Truly felt I had made it when one of my older boomer coworkers looked at me and said "I'm too old for this kinda shit, you young bucks got all the muscles you get all the heavy shit"
>>61998136Basically the left their apartment and forget their keys inside then close the door. Many doors don't have a knob to open it without the keys so I had to climb through the window and open the door from the inside.
>>61998199Sounds actually hardcore and fulfilling in the end.
>>61998279It was, great feeling of camaraderie and common effort that is missing in modern life
>>61998199>you young bucksAnon... Did he?
>>61998495go outside and talk to someone who works for a living, bring up some shit like this to them and remember my comment as they chase you off or beat your ass
>>61996366That’s such an awesome feeling. Good job man!
>at home depot self checkout>scan my items>sales clerk tells me to come over to the desk because they may need to deactivate the security tag inside the box>scans the box a few times, can't seem to find it>tells me to just leave and if the alarm goes off to bring it back so they can sort it out>some boomer nearby that was watching pipes up>"Hell even if the alarm does go off they can't catch you, you look real fit"Technically a mire and not functional, but still felt good.
>>61998529not him but me and my work buddies have been laughing about Tariq all week.>at work>pallet of dirt is erroneously delivered>have to put it in the garage up a ramp>co workers pushing and pulling all during my lunch couldn't get it in>I showed up and without help pulled the pallet up the ramp and into the garage>they came out and asked who helped me get it infelt good but I'm pretty sure they gave up after the first attempt and just waited for my dumbass to do it
>>61998278Wait OP so the keys were in the balcony door or something? Could you explain in a little more simpler terms? I still don’t get it
>>61996065this one time the landlord had some guys come to take away their old bath tub, it was heavy and pretty big, one of those old metal + enamel tubs, they fucked up by not having a ramp and only bringing 2 people, so the land lord asked if i could help, and i took one end by myself and and the other 2 guys took the other end. they were amazed, they even asked me to come with them to drop it off, but it was too far away(an hour's drive).and thats how I saved the day.
>>61998278Because you did it the hardcore way, I'll give you a protip:Learn to shim locks with a butter knife or bread knife. The classic way to do it is with a credit card but a bread knife is swanky mode.
>>61996065>stacking bags of de-icing salt at the hardware store i worked at>~40 year old manager lady comes by and openly gawks at me>somebody asks her if she needs something and she says "just watching this fine young man work">i haven't been in the gym for at least a year and basically just getting drunk all the time to cope with wagingi guess this is actually a time my fitness didn't matter
>>61996065I have the reflexes of a startled chook
>mom wants to change light bulb >says she's too scared to stand on a chair because she fell a couple of years ago and broke her hip>ask her how much she weighs >she tells me you should never ask a lady's weight>guess her weight to be about 55kg>hit lmao 1 pl8 OHP just a week ago so feeling pretty confident>tell her to keep her core tight>grab her and start OHPing her>she replaces the light bulb>put her down>she asks me why I didn't just put in the light bulb myself>tell her the easy way is for chumps
>>62001346you made this story up to hallucinate grabbing your mom's ass
>>62001359get your mind out of the gutter
>>62001359You can't prove that.
>>61996406She could've called a locksmith and you could've picked him up?Risk to reward ratio of this incident tells me that you're kinda retarded. You guys could've offered them to stay at your place until the locksmith arrives
>>62001639Or be could have just done what he knew he could do. You're a pussy. Do you wear a life preserver when you take a shit so you don't accidentally drown in the toilet water?
>>62000230Nah OP elbowed the window and went inside lol no key needed.
>3 day weekend to snowboard for the first time in Colorado on 3 different mountains.>Day 1 - learning on some green trails>Day 2 - other mountain, green trail is at the top of the mountain, air really thin can't exert hard, do a flip and hit head pretty hard>Almost get concussed. Eyes can't follow finger without jittering.>Go on blue trail after a late lunch>Trail has different paths, go down one separate from friends that isn't too steep>Path has machines putting down fresh powder?>Path has lots of big bumps in the middle that would make me flip again>Zig zag between thin area between bumps and the ditches on the sides>Fresh powder is harder to control snowboard on>Constantly fall into ditches with waste high powder>Crawl out of ditches a jillion times>Realize after an hour or so I haven't seen any other people, markings in the snow, or patrol dudes in snowmobiles>This path was suppose to be closed off with orange tape wasn't it? But it wasn't.>Manage to make my way down to the end of the trail and it's already dark>Check map. I'm still about a mile away from the rental place and it's uphill>Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms heavy, there's snow in his pants already, mom's spaghetti>Make it back in time to return gear before rental place closes>Hot tub actually felt great that night.>Day 3 - quads very sore and slightly bruised, decide to stay on green trailI'm a Texan living at sea level and the mountains weren't too bad since I use a training mask, but that tippy top of the mountain was a bit too much for me.Also skiing is easier. Skiing is highly recommended if you never been on a skateboard or something similar.
>>61996065whenever I see my ex
>>61996065Imagine risking your life because some boomer forgot his key and was too cheap to get a locksmith and thinking what you did mattered
Father got hit with some strange Covid like illness two years ago (but hey, TV says it only started after the bat soup so that must be true) and as he was fainting he insisted on going to toilet as he was pissing himself right in front of us. Halfway to toilet he finally caved in and if it wasn't for me around he would've hit his head on either the floor or any of the furniture. Manhandling a fat 70yo to a stool and then holding him on top of it was the workout of my life and if I wasn't working out for a few years beforehand I would've crumbled.
>>61996065At work. Dad is getting older so i lift most of the heavy tables we're going to paint.He used to joke about not having the strength to lift shit anymore but now he actually need more help.
>>62001168The door has a plate in front of the lock to prevent that, I've tried it before. It would need to be picked.>>62001639I was pretty confident I could do it, I had done it before, albeit to a lower floor.Also the rush and pump I got from it felt pretty damn good.>>62002215I do riskier shit just to get a better view when /out/ desu.
>>61999973Its not a mire thread retard
>>61996065>neighbor who's locked outside is miringBut did you smash?Also>Times when your fitness matteredEvery fucking day if you have a real job
>>62001221Now this is a story I believe.>>62001346Are you trying to fuck your mom, anon?
>>61996351Wtf are those hobbit feet
>>61998406Anon, that was basic fucking work division. That happens everywhere all the time.
>>62001168That only works on rickety-ass doors and fraud locks. Any first world door or lock will be immune to it.
>>62004744>Every fucking day if you have a real jobThis nigga carrying bags of sand all day in exchange for peanuts and his bosses are too cheap to replace him with machines, so he thinks he's got a real job.
>>61996065So you really risked your life to save your neighbor some money?
>>62004949>working for someone else>not working your own landNGMI
>>61996065>Be me, high school athlete virgin chad>swim coach manages a beach about an hour north of where I live>hires me for summer as lifeguard>doing timed rescues from far out in swim zone>limit is 3 minutes, get mine done in 1:48>mfw next closest time was 1:58
>>62004949Are you actually black or are you some white trash twittertard who just talks like that because its cool?
>>62004949MF I literally get paid to sit in the sun, read classics, and do conditioning. Beach life guarding is the ultimate chad job. Not everyone who is fit for work is le epic wagie cuck you damn r/antiwork redditor.Collecting welfare is not a personality trait.
>>62004744I didn't nor did I want it, she has kids already. But I've seen her hot friend or sister, that would be the smart play.>>62004975Well that was the end result but I risked because I wanted to test myself by doing something difficult, but well within my capabilities, and get a confidence boost from it.
every time I move or help somebody move really. I used to be so fucking gassed after those days but now it's just free cardio
>>61996065>doing student film with my AV class>go to abandoned house>buncha qts>gotta impress somehow>"anon that attic looks spooky, I wish we could see inside, but we don't have a ladder">implying>Jump up and effortlessly pull up, hold, and describe everything in the attic>be sure to flex ceps and get that eccentric rippening on the way down>hell yeah That actually happened but jokes aside it really came in handy when I helped my grandparents around their place. Laying stone patios, catching goats, roofing, flooring, digging, etc. All came nice in handy.
>>61996351Sweet Peggy hill feet
My buddies were doing car work and couldn’t get a bolt or whatever off. I grabbed that shit with my superior grip strength and got it off. They are bigger and stronger than me but no grip strength, it’s so under rated
>>62004902not true. I got one of those "safety doors" or whatever you call them. I locked my self outside like they did. the guy I ordered opened it in 1 second with something similar to a large credit card. yeah, I paid like $75 for being a retard (and Im europoor so thats a lot).
>>61997655Do you mean 18 minutes walking?
Being fit literally helps me when I go for another PR. Yes, that easy.
>>61996205>her moms fatty family want to bury him in the local cemetery since its a fucking hike where he wants to be laid to rest and would be "easier for everyone"imagine being such a fat slug that instead of fucking honoring someone's dying wish you decide to go with what's more convenient for youthat is so shitty
>>61996065My brother tried to kill my mother and grandmother with a pair of cloth-cutting scissors. I went up behind him and grabbed his right wrist with my right arm over his should (he had his arms up, raving, but he was like 20-ish feet from them, moving closer), I put my right leg in front of and then behind his left leg to hook it, and my left arm around his neck. I kept twisting his wrist violently and raking his head and body back to front while keeping him unsteady with my leg in order to make him throw the damn thing or else I'd just choke him out. He eventually lost his grip, and then I hip threw him over me to which he landed flat on his back. He was all pissed off, but I took the scissors and went to go stand in the hallway, out of sight. Cops were called, they came and tasered him.>"Nnnoooooo, you can't do that, he has a heart condition.">FemSoyjack.pngI regret saving them every time I think about it. Literally only if I had waited moments more to get that sandwich. I am so fucking unlucky, bros. The whole thing was effortless for me. Stone-faced the entire time. Completely dispassionate.
>>62009348why do you regret saving them anon
>>62009836BECAUSE THEY'RE VICIOUS FUCKING CUNTS. For my entire life was I abused by those two, and by others they enabled. I acted like a boy and they threw me in therapy for it, and got me all sorts of little shits that would follow me around, pestering me. You name it, they made me get it. In and out of home therapy, TTS's, and all sorts of shit I can't remember. All the female staff persons but like one fucking openly emotionally abused me for the littlest things because my whore of a grandmother told them I hated women, and the one that didn't was afraid of me because I'm fairly big. I was a fucking kid. I didn't think about hating women until after that brother who tried to kill them told me about the sneaky shit they were doing, and then I actually started hating women. >tl;dr>be a rowdy boy because no father figure>dumb cunts: this must mean he hates women>drug and abuse him, lie and tell everyone he hates womenIt was just one of those situations where I didn't have plausible deniability. I swear to you, had I thought I could've just walked away, well, I wouldn't tell this story. There isn't a Trolley Problem for me. I've made up my mind on that shit.
>>62004523jelly as fuck
>>62010098damn man, thats sick. but I fell you are gonna make it anyway. stay strong.
>>62010098My sympathies, Anon. My mother is also a horrible piece of shit.
>>61996065I have a friend who is an incredible comics autist and had a custom bookshelf made in the size aspect for french graphic novels. I will pause for you to roll your eyes now.The time came for him to move from his walk-up apartment and the bookshelf was too big to take out the front door. It was built inside. I say built, not assembled - this wasn't some IKEA shit that could be disassembled, but about 180lb of hardwood in a floor-to-ceiling height bookshelf that was properly nailed together.We decided to tip it over the balcony and one of us would catch it. My friend is a lanklet hungry skeleton and my wife is 4'11 and 90 lb dripping wet. So even though I am a manlet, I was designated the catcher.With some extreme difficulty, the two of them finally were able to tip the bookshelf over the balcony railing, which acted as a high fulcrum. When the back end came down, I was able to catch it in an OHP lockout position, although I did not have the leverage to do anything past that point. There I was, holding the bookshelf end-up like a fucking caber leaning against the balcony railing, in full OHP lockout, while shouting at lanklet friend and wife to get their asses downstairs and find a way to help me safely unload this thing or I was going to let it drop and shatter right there. It took the two of them almost a full minute to get down, and then what felt like an eternity to figure out how to brace against it to provide a human sledge for this thing to slide down safely. It was in that moment that I was euphoric in my own fitness enlightenment, because if I hadn't been able to hold that thing in OHP lockout for so long, I'd either be dead or that fine custom piece of hardwood furniture would be splinters.Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
>>61996065>At the bouldering gym with friends> gf falls and snaps her shit up >Has a badly sprained ankle and broken elbow.>Have to carry her in my arms down to the ambulance, then from the hospital to the taxi to my apartment, up the stairs and put her to bed.>Next day carry her downstairs, to another taxi to another hospital.>Carry my gf up and downstairs and take care if her during her convalescence.I decided after that never to shirk exercise or lifting again, in case anyone I cared for needed me to be strong for them.>Btw we're married now.
>old man trying to jump off the bridge>too frail to climb up on ledge> asks me to throw him>I doStill conflicted about it sometimes. He looked like a cancer patient but still
>>62008891This. I've done consulting and defeated magnetic locks with a bread knife before, credit cards will get literally anything but a deadbolt, and any dipshit with a bump key can go through those.>t. consultant
>>62010677>taxiWhy don't you own a car, anon?
>>62010715Lmao I hope this is true. You did the right thing. Death to all boomers.
one time this lady accidentally went into drive instead of reverse, and her car got stuck in some parking lot curbI saw like two dudes trying to help lift the car off the curb since the two wheels were stuck in a position where the wheels were not touching the groundbasically we all started lifting from the bottom of the car and she put it on drive (without the pedal) and got her car stuck out, we all fistbumped after the deed was done and went back to our livescar was pretty heavy too, felt good helping someone
This one time when I was fucking your mom, she said "Wow, you're so strong, I wish my son was like you".
>>62011512You might be fucking her but she's still thinking about me. I'll take that W.
>>62001025>working for your landlord for freesounds like you need some mental gains
>>61996065Got cornered and ran away from some dopes, absolute shitmogged em in a 40 meter sprint, also catching things before they fall , grabbing doors before they hit my face (lol) and then the cuck on the other side has a deer in the headlights expression and i just say pleasantly “hi!”
>>62005179>virgin chadWhat did he mean by this
>>61998529calm down you thin-skinned bitch, it was funny
>>62011239Living in another country as foreigners on contract, no point in owning a car dude.I fucking miss driving though.
>>62010098Brother. Your a good man for doing the right thing in the moment. You protected human life that you saw in danger, and you fucking judo'd his ass at that. Your looking at the leaf and missing the forest, cause even after all of that abuse you still did not play into the devils hands
>>61997812bruh, its fine if you count the time it takes to leave, plus january, bad shoes and on asphaltcant compare that to track
>>62010406why didn't you just tie a rope to it and slowly let it down
>>62002178What mountains did you go to?
>>62001639Dam you sound like a bitch. Men are problem solvers and he knew a practical application with what he had in hand to resolve the situation. You on the other hand want someone else to fix an issue just because it’s the path of least resistance. Embarrassing, don’t reproduce
>>61996065My pt test in the military made me a sergeant because of promo points
>>62011942Because collectively we were dumber than a bag of hammers and also comicsperg thought it could be rotated through the doorway until we tried
>>61996351Mirrin are those feet size 14?
>>61998529you can tell which one really needs to go outside
>>61996406You literally could have just opened the door with a plastic card instead of risking your life. Look up flippering
>>62013448Ignore me didnt see the other guy's post
>Close friend gets bunion surgery which puts her in cast/crutches >Both feet get operated on so she's super clumsy with healing foot and casted foot>Live in bumfuck midwest where snow gets super bad, she would fall if she tried to go anywhere past the driveway> Asks me to guide her to the front door>Bridal carries her inside instead everytime we hang out so she doesn't get hurtFelt super good to watch out for her, especially when she fainted and I had to carry her to the car.
>>62013865Did you get to smell her butthole?
>>62011936How come everyone always says asphalt as a negative thing?
>>62014001>buttholefuck that, imagine the smell of her feet when she finally gets the casts off
>>62001346>ask her how much she weighs>she doesnt answer so i estimatelaffin
>>61996065>woke uo>worked out>hit some pbs>feel fantastic about myself
>anon can you help me move tomorrow, some of this furniture is a bit heavy>sureCan't think of anything else.
>>62011964Copper, Breckenridge, and Keystone.Keystone was on the last day so I spent more time at the shops and bought some comfy sweatpants from the gift shop and took a faggy selfie on a bronze buffalo? statue.