i'd say them guys that build roads. heavy machinery does all the real work. once in a while, one guy grabs a shovel, just to keep appearances up, while nine others stand around and watch him dig.
yeah, you're standing around in the sun all day breathing tar fumes off the asphalt, but you're knocking down 100k/yr in no time.

>>2620068
Sysadmin sounds perfect for you
You work in an office but not just at a desk you have to go look under peoples computers and tell them to stop unplugging it with their foot, and go on the roof and fix the air conditioner because why would they hire an HVAC professional when they have an IT department?

>>2620068
Corrections.

My day usually consists of
>hey anon go get some breakfast
>lets watch the morning news
>unit patrol. Hour or two of actual work.
>sit down again. Morning tea time. Maybe turn on a movie or read or study.
>anon, lunch
>feed crims lunch
>second lunch
>unit patrol maybe
>computer time, browse marketplace. Watxh youtube.
>close eyes and doze for a short period.
>afternoon tea. You hungry, anon?
>afternoon gameshows
>crims watch too so they leave you alone the whole time
>afternoon news
>feed crims dinner
>shift swap

I get paid to sit and stop crims from fighting but most of the time you just watch tv and talk shit. I get paid almost as much as when I was a liney but WAAY less work or effort. Wish I'd done this 5 or 10 yr ago. I can just cruise to returement now.

YMMV based on pay and prison conditions.

>>2620068
>Which is the least labor intensive trade?
Cobbler

>>2620087
Man I see these jobs up all the time and it gets me thinking. I'm a skinny dude but can stand my ground. How much physical violence do you realistically have to deal with in a prison? What level of security do you work in? A lotta prisoners I think I'd be able to get along with. And I imagine it's the last place you'll encounter woke culture.

>>2620068
stay-at-home son

>>2620068
>The construction work is too exhausting and the office work is too mind-numbingly boring

Weak, lazy, and stupid. Your life is not going to go well.

>>2620087
Have to agree, it's like "I want to spend a large chunk of my life inside a prison, but don't want to put in the effort that criminals have to'.

Plumber doing PEX.

>>2620068
The high detail construction stuff is less physical because of the perfection needed. So maybe cabinet maker or tile installer. Maybe inspector or construction manager. Estimator. Engineer.

>>2620140
>. So maybe cabinet maker or tile installer.

Did you miss the part about OP being lazy and stupid? The guys talking about prison are on the money, except OP won't be on the desirable side of the bars.

>>2620140
Tile and flooring in general are not a good fit for people who are mentally and physically lazy. Even if you don't have to move the (always heavy) materials there's all kinds of planning involved and ways to fuck up if you aren't on the ball at every step.
Inspecting may or may not require much physical effort but the administrative part of it will likely put off anyone who can't hang with office work.
In the construction field, doing warranty inspections is a pretty easy gig; you're usually there after things are installed and it's essentially playing the "what's wrong with this picture?" game except that rather than having to guess and find them all, you have a list of possibilities to go through and can stop the minute you find just one.
There may be some reports involved but it can be as easy as filling out a form, or just telling the office yes or no on the question of an installation or application voiding the warranty.
It's also rewarding because you get to help deserving people who need it, while weeding out scammers and idiots who deserve to be told to fuck right off.

>>2620136
>>2620142
kek look at this triggered boomer nigger
dont blow your back out seething

>>2620074
>because why would they hire an HVAC professional when they have an IT department?
It's just part of being a sysadmin. Everyone tells you that it doesn't be this way and then stuff is down and users are mad and suddenly you learn hvac and electrical.

>>2620068
work on an urban train line in maintenance. They usually have a maintenance window of maybe a couple hours a day, which is when all the work happens. all the time outside this is prep, which can happen at a nice slow safe pace since there's trains around. if you have somebody anywhere near the tracks, you have 2-3 people nearby keeping watch and on radios. super heavy compliance.

>>2620118
>Cobbler
There was a cobbler right around the corner from where I used to live. He was a tailor, too.
Shoes, you could just drop off and pick back up like a week later. I assumed one of his apprentices did them. Same with dry cleaning.
But if you wanted to get fitted for a suit or a nice pair of dress shoes, guy was taking appointments 2 months out.
Bunch of ragheads running around the place. They did good work, though. I think they were chaldeans, because there was pictures of Jesus all over the place.
Nice bunch of guys.

>>2620153
It's so refreshing hearing someone not shit on the flooring guy for once, thank you anon :,)

>>2620243
What I want to know is how did cobbling- a very old, important and respectable trade/craft that requires specialized knowledge, measuring/fitting and plenty of skill and patience- also become synonymous with putting something together roughly or clumsily?

>>2620392
i think that was in reference to (cobble)stone streets, not the shoe stuff. because any old asshole can throw down some rocks. or something.

Hilariously enough, universal handy man.

I charge $100 an hour and work maybe 11 to 15 hours a week doing anywhere from installing a fridge to putting together a chicken wire fence.

I do hydraulic repair and it's not usually labor intensive. It's mechanical work, so you need some level of intelligence, troubleshooting skills, ability to use handtools. It's only physically taxing on the rare occasion I get something with bound up threads and then it's a hammer swinging, torch a blowing pain in the dick. But yeah, I spend half my shift sitting at a workbench. I'd kind of like to get into watchmaking and class it up a bit. Wear a sweater vest to work. Sounds nice.

>>2620068
Shepherding.
Imagine someone with "shepherding" on their resume, wtf will that prove? NOTHING!

Private Investigator

Just make shit up as you go for $70/hr

Machinist you just stand in front of your lathe or something and produce parts whole day, requires training but it's fun making something out of blob

>>2620140
The estimator and construction manager are by far the busiest workers at my workplace next to the general manager.

>>2620121
Depends on the centre
Depends on the crim mix / sec level
Depends on how much you're allowed/auth to go hands on

Some places have trg/cert response, you just step out and they take back control. Some places you gotta fend for yourself. You should be trained in hands on combat and then with weapons.

In my "jurisdiction", its extremely minimal and usually one vs. many officers. Crims are placated and therefore compliant. Only a few go off and you're trained to see it coming and call backup.

I think it's great. I do minimal actual work apart from the mental ability to "make nice" with child rapists, murderers, pedos, druggies etc. But most crims have usually just done something dumb and fucked up and just want to do Theo time and get back out.

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>>2620136
>NOOOO YOU HAVE TO BREAK YOUR BACK FOR YOUR EMPLOYER IN EXCHANGE FOR CURRENCY THAT LOSES VALUE EVERY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>2620880
Spend better

>>2620068
>electrician
common mistake. enjoy digging ditches. you'll be the trenching guy for the first 5 years, minimum.
>>2620073
actually this. just don't be the rube they trick into running a jackhammer or your bones will fall out your fucking body each week, shit is brutal.
it's period of intense work in sweltering conditions followed by longer periods of standing around drinking water and supervising someone else doing their part of the work. the work is very serial, so there's a lot of "well, i can't, he's not done yet"

>>2620121
>I'm a skinny dude but I can stand my ground
Bulk up and show some initiative.

>>2620880
Funny, my money makes ~12.15 over the past 10 years. Perhaps it's a skill issue.

>>2620068
>Which is the least labor intensive trade?
Manager

>>2620429
How the hell do you get away with fleecing people like this?

>>2621866
there is a substantial class of people with more money than sense and absolute psychological separation from actual work, skilled or unskilled, and they may even get off on paying people to do it

so like your silicon valley degenerate type basically

>>2622170
I work as a part time handyman for my landlords and they actually pay me every month. They pay absurd prices because they don't know how much money is worth, I guess. I do general low skill labor, like dig a hole for a tree (takes me a half hour maybe), or paint some shit, and they pay me like $150 for it. I just do random shit like that once or twice a week.

>>2621866
>>2622170
All you have to do is walk around town with a business card or find a community bulliton to put up a flyer, just go up to someone and tell that you'll fix anything they have trouble with or needs to be repaired for $100 an hour. You work all day, same day service.

I trade stocks while either in bed or taking a shit. Sometimes both.

>>2622280
How do I get into stocks?

Plumber. Decent money and full of people who are too scared of doing HVAC.

>>2622291

Open a brokerage account, fund it and buy shares of companies you like.

The hard part is finding companies that are cheap but will return consistent sexy earnings.

>>2622291
The way with the least chance of fucking up: buy index funds, set up automatic paycheck contributions and purchases, turn on drip, forget about for 40 years
The way to get an understanding on how to be active with decisions: get a paper money/fake/test account and play around for a while, meaning a year at least. In general you can make money fast or big but not both, but losing fast and big is easy
The way to lose money fast: chase memes and make emotional decisions, do no research, trade as often as possible, refuse to cut losses in an obvious loser

I personally trade options but it took me 5 years to get good at it, and I lost everything twice along the way. Don't fuck around with high risk stuff unless you're comfortable going broke

Find a job where you can work from home....That way you can hang out with your dog all day.

I make $5000 a week renting out goats for landscaping.

>>2622447
This is good advice. Also keep in mind paper stocks don't train you for the emotion involved which is huge. There are a couple of boomer seeming youtube videos where he just goes over emotions and sticking to plans and stuff and you'll probably be like oh man I'm not this dumb! But everyone is, literally everyone. You will get into something you think is a "unique situation" and completely fuck yourself over, you dont think it now but you will.

>>2622539
No way. How many goats? I got 15

>>2622626
13, just rent them out to eat land that needs clearing. Charge like $2000 to $2300 bucks for 2 to 3 days of work. All you have to do is set up a covered water trough and set up a fence. Tell the land owners to check in at least once to twice a day and call telling you how the clearing is going. Once it's done just come back with a trailer and pick them up. Any goat works for any land.

People think they need 'protection.' They don't know how fucking resilient and tough a pack of 6 to 12 goats are, no mountain cat or coyote is going to come by and kill one because they'll just buck the shit out of them with their horns.

>>2622633
>and call telling
Should rewrite that, they call YOU telling you how the process is going. You're not even needed there. Passive income generator.

>>2620074
that sounds kind of fun, I actually like sysadmin but am unsure how to break into the field. Got a math and cs dual major but just screwed off and did farming successfully, but I really like a nice running system and run guix w/ exwm on my machines

>>2620073
bro i was a highways operative for the local authority so there wasnt much money in it, £24k~. maybe a third of the day was down time but when you worked, you worked hard. it can be a fun job but the blokes that work these jobs are often bastards

>>2620068
Probably something like grounds keeping on a golf course. You start early but I've known some guys who have done it and it seems pretty laid back

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>>2620880
How's the weather up there, anon?

>>2620121
I've been to jail, not prison. In jail, being a guard seems safe af. Matter of fact being a prisoner there was pretty safe. Just be normal don't say nigger you're fine. Spent 6 months never had an issue. There were guys that did fight but idk why

>>2620068
Insulator is pretty low effort. Everything is light and your only tool is a knife.

>>2623041
mmmm fiber glass inhalation

>>2622740
>Got a math and cs dual major
You are already qualified for a $90k+ sysadmin job a year if you can cheese up your resume a bit. Plus you know your way around linux, so $100k+ easy. Wish I didn't dick around in college and try for a 3d graphics degree, then elec. engineering degree, then dropout degree

>>2620068
Dunno but
>highest skill but least paid trade
Commercial glazier

>>2622740
Start at the bottom in a help desk position at a decent sized organization. You'll move up fast.
Don't be discourage by the initial low wage.

Painter is easy as fuck. And if you buy decent equipment, the tools almost do the job themselves. You just point them at whatever you wanna paint, and bam. Job's done. I know because my dad was a painter.
>>2620477
Sounds like an easy way to end up killed by a crazy husband or wife.

The government guy who inspects all of the electrical work. He doesn't do anything other than certify that everything is up to code.

Low Voltage electrician. Pull cables, check with a meter, repeat. Have to be up in the air but nobody is going to stare at a guy in a scissor lift and wonder Wtf he is up to

Also generally one of the only or last guys to do work

>>2620068
Union Electrician

From what I've witnessed, their apprenticeship in my state is very difficult, (you have to be smart to pass the schooling) and there's a long waiting list to get in. but if you want to stand around and do next to nothing all day and get paid six figures to do it, become a journeyman union electrician. Because at the job im on, theres so many sparkies standing around either on an ipad, computer, or staring at the ceiling, you cant swing a dead cat without hitting one! Not hating just admitting im jealous!

>>2624013
Doesn't count, its more a job than a trade

>>2624009
Painter here this is bullshit at least partly. Sometimes you can't use a sprayer and have to roll out or brush shit. Plus you have to lug ladders clean shit etc. Maybe if you were a journeyman with a apprentice you could be lazy.

>>2623999
Trips of truth for easy work. Nobody likes a showoff but get good at schmoozing and fix stuff fast to start with and then when you're a lazy fuck you'll still have the reputation of being fast and personable.

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>>2620068
As far as a real trade goes: Printer
>Watch the printing press go BRRR... for most of the time
>Keep an eye on ink and registers.

>>2620068
I used to work in construction. I started with labouring from 15 and eventually ended up apprenticing as a chippy. Sparkies have it the easiest, I’d go with that personally. Labour intensive trades fuck you up like you wouldn’t believe, avoid them

>>2620087
As a multiple time inmate at different jails, yes, CO's are the laziest sons of bitches I've ever seen. Impossible to get them to even work with you to get a document printed or anything requiring the slightest bit of effort. It's one of those jobs where you're encouraged to do the bare minimum, because the second you do too much, you're the guy who everyone asks for a favor. Then again, I've seen the fattest laziest guards be sprayed with AIDS blood so there's that aspect.