Clumsy first kiss editionPrevious thread: >>3595234
>>3597674Personally hoping you play as Sunny for that Sunflower and Suntan action.
>>3597674Judging by the main menu screen they showed, I'm assuming you play as Sunny.>>3597752Same, that's all I'm waiting for.
>>3597779They confirmed you play as Sunny in a reply so that's nice.
Kel please choke me
ive never played this game but i would kidnap and rape basil for as long as i can, until the cops catch me or basil dies or i die
>>3598209This except none of that.
>>3598249Artist? I need to know, their artstyle is adorable
>>3598254>>3598256Their account is locked but most of his nsfw art is uploaded to paheal. I can post his sfw stuff here though.
>>3598263God they're literally perfect.
>>3598265Agreed, I love seeing the sweet lads together.
>>3598354Imagine the sex
Need more breadboy art.
This artist finished the shading on a couple of pieces they drew before
>>3599120>>3599121GOD i love them so much
>>3599117>>3599118I love their Basils.
>>3599129yes I think his Basils are my favorite out of all of them. especially that one with the freckles hnnnngh
Sunflower my beloved.
>>3599184Who cares about the logistics?
>>3599185That child looks like OmoriAlso I'm gonna need the artist, I love their artstyle
>>3599199Probably just the black hair+high socks combo.Also pretty sure it's them. >>3598257
taking a sippy quickly
This guy is REALLY good at drawing basils
Just finally went around updating my fic, hope you guys like it!https://archiveofourown.org/works/29566011/chapters/78873739
>>3599324I gotta hit the hay for now, (Oyasumi, anons!) but I really enjoyed the read! I still love the inclusion of the drawings you do in these, and I think the way you're handling the characters all interacting with each other is real damn lovely to keep reading. It's still a gradual process, those two recovering from everything, even everyone still recovering from it all. I think the way you keep that going with them getting better bit by bit but still having those questions about handling what has happened and the future being posed by them definitely feels realistic and I think it adds a lot to the narrative as a whole. Not to mention how genuinely sweet and thoughtful Sunny and Basil are to each other, their consideration for one another, their love, man it's an absolute delight to see and I fucking love that kinda stuff about Sunflower.Keep up the good work dude, I love seeing your stuff and I thoroughly enjoyed the read and will more than likely give it a good reread too! Thank you very much for the excellent content!
>>3599327Thanks a lot for the kind words! I'm glad that I'm writing the characters in a fitting way to you! That's pretty much my main concern at all times.My main issue with the following chapters is gonna be once I have to tackle college life, because I understand that they live in the USA. But I don't, I went to an university, and I imagine the experience was quite different to what college life is like over there. For example, we don't leave for an entire semester like Hero did and then come back, it's just like school for us. So I'll have to do a lot of research if I wanna be able to write that properly.
>>3599324Hey anon, it took me a while to stop being so busy, but I finally got around to reading this.First of all, I love your art! It's a cute touch and is nice, simple, and perfect, just like Sunny. Really though, the reintroduction of the photo album combined with the art made me feel warm and good inside. I like how even once they get together, there are still all those challenges and questions that come with a relationship, especially one like that. I'm a fan of angst and fluff combined too, so I like how things from the past and insecurities still get brought up from time to time and act as a hurdle to confront. It really seems like Sunny and Basil genuinely love each other and want to make plans to spend their futures together, sometimes I even blush and have to look away from the screen for a few seconds before returning. Also Sunny's glasses are wonderfully dorky and cute and fit him perfectly.>>3599332As for the difference between colleges and universities it really depends on which one. A lot of colleges are massive and have dorms available and some universities are small and focused, despite these two going against the 'norm.' Personally, I'd figure out how you'd prefer to go about it before doing the research, rather than researching and then deciding based on that. Of course it's all up to you and I look forward to your next chapter! I'll definitely reread parts too while waiting.
>>3599448>sometimes I even blush and have to look away from the screen for a few seconds before returningWow, I had that happen to myself too when reading another sunflower fic (I Won't Let You Wilt), to think I can cause the same effect on others reading mine makes me really happy inside.>Personally, I'd figure out how you'd prefer to go about it before doing the researchWell I know for a fact what I want to do with them, I just need to research more about colleges with dorms and all the deets because I hate misrepresenting things. I even had to research the school schedule in the northern hemisphere, because here classes begin on the mid of February, make a stop in July, resume in August then continue all the way til November. So it was to my surprise when I found out how different it is up north. I also didn't know that train trips from state to state can take up to 40-60 hours. So things like these need to be taken in consideration when writing something, at least that's how I go about it.
>>3599522I know the author of that fic! He's a really chill dude
>>3599522If it helps, you can probably check out a college that you might be interested in and maybe go about doing a google maps to kinda tour the place. Just to get a feel for the layout, the buildings, dorms/dorm buildings, spots of interest nearby, etc. That or I'm sure there's a proper mapping of some of the stuff in there available too.
>>3599324Gave it a read, and its honestly great. The first 2 chapters were quite iffy in my opinion, but the 3rd chapter and the reintroduction of the photos and the album was what cemented this fic of being nothing short of amazing. I feel as if your writing skills have absolutely improved in the past few chapters, and it's nice to see the art being colored as well.I hope you nothing but the best! Keep up the good work!
>>3599558I saw your comment in ao3, thank you again! If it's not too much trouble, could you give some insight in what would you say were the points I needed to improve in the first two chapters? Pacing? Structure? Character interpretation? I know that in general, the chapters were much less thought out since they were my first attempts at writing fanfiction ever, but I'd love to know in retrospect what I could've done better in them specifically.
>>3599556That's a sound idea, I'll definitely try that, thank you!
>>3599324Cute! My only critique is you might be using ellipses in narration a bit too much. While it certainly fits those two in dialogue, it can make the narration look awkward.>>3599332>My main issue with the following chapters is gonna be once I have to tackle college life, because I understand that they live in the USAI have a similar issue in mine in that I have a few chapters focusing on Sunny's time in his new place and I barely know how US urban layout works.
>>3599580I was wondering too if someone would ever say something about my overuse of ellipses. I'm self aware about it, but I'll try to tone it down a bit in the future!
>>3599580US urban lauout kind of depends on the city. In new york it’s a block grid system but in other cities like Atlanta it’s a completely unplanned mess. Basically paved over cowpaths. Impossible to find your way around unless you’ve been living here for 10 years
Good morning Kelbros, today was a good day for fanart
>>3599577For me, the first two chapters seem like you were experimenting, they were pretty short (which is not necessarily a bad thing) but it seems to me the biggest issue in the first two was pacing. The first two felt very quick to get through, and the other three at least to me felt much more "planned out" if that makes any sense. I'm pretty short on critiques here and know that I am by no means a writer, so you're more than welcome to take what I think with a grain of salt :pp.s (The photo album returning was a 900 iq play, keep up the great work!)
>>3599680Ohhh I see, that's fair! I think in retrospect I was mainly unsure on 'how long should I make my chapters?' based on the few fanfics I read at the time. So while back then 2000 words per chapter felt like a lot, nowadays it feels like just a glimpse. I was specially worried about pacing in my latest chapter due to the amount of time skips I had to use, but I'm glad that it wasn't an issue in the end.I'm glad I introduced the photo album idea, I plan on continuing to expand on it, that much I can assure. There's already quite a few photos that were taken since the last time they looked at it, I just didn't show the pictures in the story because it'd take a while to draw them all, and because I feel it'd become repetitive soon. So once it gets to the point of showing the album again, you'll get to see just how much happened during that time.
>>3599683Pacing is difficult and I have that problem in my writing. I have the opposite issue though; I take too long in my pacing. Maybe I just really like slowburns? I want to try and write like a lot of fics where there's a lot of one-line formatting with dialogue and simple actions. Normally I write like a typical storybook with paragraphs.Either way, you've gotten a lot better after the first couple chapters so you're already learning fast and adopting a style, I feel. Can't wait to see more of the photo album and more of your art improving!
>>3599685It's funny because I wish I could write more in length like you're describing. I feel that my one liners aren't nearly as satisfying to read as a full-on storybook paragraphs, so don't feel demotivated! Guess grass is always greener on the other side.
>>3599686Aw thanks, maybe I'm just feeling a bit insecure about my own style, of course it never hurts to experiment a bit! Your words mean a lot to me so let's both do our best!
>>3599324This is really sweet, dude! I'd seen your art on omog before but didn't know it was being made for a fic. I'm really liking it so far!Throwing my own oc into this thread, it's comfy in here.
>>3597676Should I play this game?
>>3600049Not OP here but absolutely, this game is an experience that I won't be forgetting for many years.
>>3600049It's definitely a unique experience I don't think you can get anywhere else. If you think you want to try it, leave any related threads and go for it. It's best experienced raw and without spoilers!
>>3600031Hell yeah, great drawing I really like your style!
>>3600049It's a real good game, definitely one of, if not the best rpgmaker kinda game I've played out of the ones I have, it's a damn good experience.
Good night friends
>>3600067Thank you! I need to draw the Omori boys more, they're all so great.
>>3600031Welcome friend, and I love your art too, I hope you stick around.
>>3600209See I think I'll have to now because you guys are so lovely.
>>3600340God they're fucking adorable
>>3600343Is there a Hero one too?
Beyond their dreams got a new chapter, check it out if you like :) https://archiveofourown.org/works/30225927/chapters/79017841
>>3600429I already commented on it, but I like the way you're writing off the characters. Sunny feeling upset about Aubrey's reaction hits hard and I can sympathize with how it makes one doubt themselves. I can't wait until the next time he talks to Basil again.
>>3600429I really sympathize with Sunny here, it sucks when someone thinks you don't know what you're talking about when you're trying to be honest and open. Funnily enough, Aubrey pulled that with Kel too, so now his frustration is even more relatable
>>3600429>AUBREY has always acted true to her feelings.>Even though she has trouble admitting how much she cares,>her actions have shown otherwise.Great chapter. Aubrey must be terribly hard to write for, but I'm impressed with your portrayal of her. I like that you're willing to seed discord in your story; it's the mark of a great storyteller.Poor Sunny though. His greatest enemy are still the thoughts in his head.
What do you think happened to Mewo? Ran away? Got stabbo'd like that one Black Space room?
>>3600570Probably got ditched as it was a painful reminder of Mari, since it was her cat after all.Or, the dad took Mewo with him after leaving.
Why would the 2 of them be kissing on the lips. they are brothers.
>>3600625That Sunny and Kel, not Hero and Kel.Kel and Sunny are not biologically related at all.
>>3600625Just bros doing normal bro stuff
Feels like I'm the last kelbro holding down the fort. That's ok, I'm used to this
>>3600718Hey Basil may be my fave but Kel's the real MVP of Omori.
>>3600718>>3600725I may be a Sunflower man first, but know that Kel and all Kel-related media have my full support. I wonder if I should look for any fics
These three are always fun together.
>>3600695arnt they like stepbrothers or something?
>>3600718It's ok I Kelpost too, I just been busy gettin a couple things done recently.
>>3600906Gotta be right back for now, but a hero for you my dude
>>3600910thank you bro
>>3600718It's okay, Kelfriend, I'm sure there are more Kel posters at a different time of the day, plus it may just seem like there's more of Basil now because a lot of us only moved here recently. But know that you have my full support too and I wish all Kelfriends all the fanfic and fanart material they can get.
>>3600753No? They're childhood friends
>>3600753Just play the game instead of asking stupid questions