/ck/ webm thread
>>18612098this cannot be true
>>18612098Behold! The plebbit personified!
>>18612098Jesus Christ How Horrifying
>>18612107what does having the cutting board on scissors here? I've used normal scissors to cut up baby carrots and asparagus before
Disappointed with how this one I saved long ago from here came out. Should have expected it. It has as much sugar as flour and with so much jam inside it even a pro won't be able to keep bottom crust from getting soggy. Also obnoxious instructions. Why's it French and who measures milk in centiliters
>>18612161Try something else.
>>18612171>fat bitch manicure handsIt's like an elephant painted its nails or something. It just draws more attention to the fact that bitch is fat.
>>18612098Multiple instances of s o y face.
>>18612171True, that's the fun of cooking.Those Tasty brand recipes aren't too bad. I tried the oven Shawarma one and it was passable, but you'd need a metal upright skewer and not do a shitty hack with a skewer stuck in a slice of onion
>>18612184Nobody trusts a thin chef.
>>18612027>Hotdogs are already too big to fall through
>>18612027da fuq is wrong with tongs?
>>18612184That is disgusting
>>18612045Can't say I haven't done that.But with a smaller whisk. I am no tramp.
>>18612153THIS NIGGA EATING BEANS
>>18612098Not clicking thatJust the thumbnail is too horrible
>>18612045i can already hear the come dine with me narrator
>>18612107seems more dangerous somehow
>>18612184Fat bitches always have a butterfly tattoo on their ankle, always
>>18612103What happened to faggy painted nails
>>18612679me on the left
>>18612141>>18612190>>18612339It's a troll
>>18612098>tiny amount of bug in ricewhat the fuck is the point? if you just want to add protein to a rice patty, you could just add in pea protein for 1/10 the price.
>>18612027neat but wnat to see it with the heat onneed to know if the hot dogs would or would not stick
Are smokers a meme?
>>18612098That's not a burger it's a fucking croqueta
>>18612107What causes someone to be so fucked in the head that they make something like this? What kind of fucking retard actually commissions a video with the caption "knives are so over."? Is it just being american? Becuase as braindead as they are, it's not a sufficient excuse.
>>18612171>Yolk on the egg whites
>>18612153black hands The fuck is this in here for? This is not a fried chicken thread.
I remember this one video of someone, seemingly at a restaurant, assembling some horrible dish with nachos, cup noodles dumped on top, and I think hot cheetos or some shit, and it just keeps going. Anyone have it?
>>18613057Sounds like a Chi-Chi.Jail food
>>18612039>Chinese invent the most dangerous and stupid way to make popcorn because why wouldn't they
>>18613066The highest point in mexican cuisine:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vL5sZIfs8YM
>>18612098this has to be satire
>>18612098Sanpaku eyesHe seeks power over you. Don't give it to him.
>>18612190>he doesn't know
>>18613057Its been how many years that shit gets posted in every thread yet you retards still ask about it
>>18613256I barely come here and my stupid ass didn't save it, but I am sorry and will now leave
>>18612039That is a neat party trick. That could go very wrong, but neat nonetheless.
>>18612098>"just 10 min"Proceeds to spend 30+ min processing inedible bugs into something that barely resembles an actual burger, WITHOUT A FUCKING BUN, making 4x the mess a regular burger would require. While making soyjack faces. Fucking triggered, someone shoot this fucker before he molests some kids or some shit, he is clearly insane.
>>18613267i found a few on the archive calling it prison food but the webms themselves aren't archived
>>18612797These are marketing scams. Some one had a retarded idea to smash a tiny cutting board and a knife you can't sharpen easily into a pair of scissor like devices, then pitched it to fellow retards who green lit the whole marketing ad. No one uses this shit.
>>18612107you just fucking know it was some English teacher who did 2 years teaching in Korea that "invented" this
>>18612098exactly the person I would expect to make a bug burger
>>18612786The worst thing about the video is him calling it a burger instead of a croquetta.
>>18613250Since when does Tipsy Bartender do food videos?
>>18613298Yep...I even named it in the first response
>>18613466He started a food channel. Its most horrible meme food that may look good but tastes awful
>>18612039Ni hao, one bag of LiveLeak popcorn please.
>>18612107This looks very Jewish
>>18613246Show me a land bug that looks that exquisite when cut intoI WILL eat the sea bugs and be HAPPY
>>18613589I would flip her flapjacks if you know what I'm sayin
>>18612184I think that's actually elephantiasis anon.
>>18612797>America America America omigosh I can't believe that Americans really *throws dart at board* hate knives
>>18612207My grandfather had a saying like that, "never trust a skinny chef". Also one of his better memories from the Korean War was when their outpost got shelled by the North and the assholes couldn't aim for shit and the only thing they hit was the mess tent and killed their dickhead of a cook who was apparently skinny. They got a replacement chef that was some big guy from New Orleans that was apparently great at cooking.
>>18612809How do people light their pans on fire? I cook with very high heat and lots of oil all the time and it's never happened to me. I don't cook with alcohol though, maybe that's it?
>>18613182Its clickbait.>>18613326>>18612141And that's exactly why it's good propaganda, because you only see what you want and not the misdirection. It's some MAGAtard acting that way on purpose. You fell for it.
>>18613693Those are pretts cool knives
>>18612039我不喜欢 this idea
>>18613250>put in the over and set it to br-->just take a blow torch to it for a couple seconds
>>18612039This almost changed my opinion of chinese people. Almost.
>>18612161DIsregard that, the next day out of the fridge it's pretty fucking delicious when it solidifies a bit. It's still sugary, but in small slices it's tasty
>>18612039This is just a miniaturised version of the way they make streetfood popcorn in China, which is why it's so weirdly finnicky. It's really meant for making a solid half tonne of popcorn at once lol.
>>18613884Well, it's a joke video so they did it deliberately. Normally you light it on fire by accidentally leaving oil on the hob way too fucking long....I did that myself, once.
>>18612727owning the chuds
>>18614190>when you started learning chinese two months ago
>>18613589Im under the counter btw
>>18612098bug burgers:>ground up crickets>risotto? >flax seed oil>flour>blend Gross. Imagine not making authentic bug burgers.
>>18612039i can't get tired of this vid, is pretty amusing how compressed that bag of popcorn must be contained inside that vessel considering how much comes out of it. it's a novelty item to have but at the same time, extremely dangerous to use I suppose it was made to save space for camping or during a war
>>18613653This is fundamentally the problem isn't it? Land bugs don't get big enough to have meat. They just have goo inside a shell. Supposedly hercules beetles taste just like lobster So maybe if we could breed them to be bigger people would eat them more. But then the problem is that we want the bugs to be cheap to farm.
>>18612830When I was in Lisbon I had these. They are just magnificent.
>>18613589Imagine an elbow blowjob
>>18613246>oh hey this looks tas-*drenches in 10 gallons of liquid cheese*fucking korean dogs
>>18615158Frightening. A 'hand' job, on the other hand...
>>18612103Must be using one of his knives. Good to know they're shit
>>18612098I feel like this is a parody.
>>18615041>extremely dangerous to use I suppose it was made to save space for camping or during a warnah they just dont care about safety
>>18614474IMAGINE the prehistoric diseases contained in that burger
>>18612207t. whale boy
>>18613884they usually light in on fire themselves so they can record itthat shit is obv staged
>>18612207Exact opposite. If I see some lard ass cooking, I know he has zero taste or palette and will shove whatever bullshit down his throat to fill his gut. His primary concern is eating an amount to feel full, not a quality to enjoy.
>>18612107you cant run with this
>>18613304>These are marketing scams.I know a family friend that tried doing this decades ago and failed. Put an ad in a couple lowend pulpy magazines for a "100% Guaranteed Fat Burning Chili" spice mix and recipe for $20. Complete bullshit and he knew it, but he figured even if just five suckers bought it, it would've covered the $100 cost to put it in the magazines. Swore he'd get a payday.No one bought it, and he was out $100. Dude at least laughs about it though.
>>18612098Thats like 90% rice. Why even bother with the bugs and just add some other source of protein?
>>18612039The Chinese do know microwave popcorn exists, right?
>>18613304>>18616320Slap an As Seen on TV sticker and it might sell.Walmart has a whole aisle of this crap, so it obviously sells.
>>18612103>almost slices off his fingerwow what a genius
>>18612727the grasshoppers give it a nice woody flavor
>>18613561>>18613250he doesn't even melt the cheese
>>18612397nobody cared so he couldn't keep using it to virtue signal
>>18613250>"Hawaiian">store-bought sugar bread>store-bought frozen meat balls>store-bought tomato and sugar puree>pre-grated cheese style product>an actual gorilla throwing it all togetherThis is about as Hawaiian as Hawaiian Punch.
>>18613910>SOMEONE MADE IT TO SHOW SOMETHING IS BAD!>THAT MEANS IT CAN'T MEAN ANYTHING!Midwit.
>>18617772They're king's Hawaiian rolls you autistic faggot
>>18617772fuck u nigger u can eat my ass this shit is great
>>18613584What's this from?
>>18612039Leave it to the Chinese to turn even making popcorn into a potential industrial accident
>>18617317>he doesn't know
>>18614474That has to be like just eating a wad of wet sand, nothing but chitlin.
>>18617772I see you've never lived in HI. You could swap the populations of Hilo and BFE, Arkansas and the food scene wouldn't change much
>>18613589>tfw no wonky baker gf
>>18612207Adage from the past, doesn't apply anymore. Usually the fat people are the ones shoveling crap down their gullets, cooks are too busy cooking to eat half the time
lil midnight snak
>>18617917I never thought about it, but this is pretty similar to a classic french omelette. Funny
every generation, a genius is born.
>>18613884I've only seen oil being boiled in a small pan and either letting it overflow on its own or when they add food to it.
>>18617298Americans eat this everyday and wonder why they're fat
>>18617958>not hitting the slurp to get the dangling stuff
>>18614439https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mjj08wYIXSMi love this shit
>>18617926do americans really live like that?
>>18617282this is cheaper and doesnt need power.
>>18613246Now that’s what I call a jumbo shrimp
>>18612027Can someone explain what the point of this is?The only reason franks are sick on the grill is because you can get those grill char marks that are just awesome. Those things looked undercooked to shit and I can't imagine a second use for them.
>>18615676actually you can, the end of the knife is flat.
>>18612039mmm gutter oil
>>18612344[spoiler]Is it wrong that I enjoyed that show?[/spoiler]
>>18613884Get distracted and drop a greasy rag that touches both the flame and the rim of the pan. Mexican kid at work did this
>>18612039>he doesn't have a popcorn mortardo westerners really?
>>18612809If my mom looked like that I'd nakadashi her daily when dad left for work
>>18612809Lmao at that "save the offspring" instinctThe woman was actually admirably calm and reasonable here though, no panic, just quickly cut the air supply to put down the flames
>>18612039I may be wrong but this would have the benefit of popping every single kernel as opposed to just normally heating them up.
>>18613302>>18613302Third shot is at Gene's poboys which is no longer in business and slated to be converted into a condo or something.
>>18612809Just put it in cold water wtf
>>18612027ROLLER COMBINED WITH OPEN FLAME?WHERE DO I GET THE BEST 2 WAYS OF COOKING HOT DOGS IN 1?!
>>18619301popcorn served from a dirty rusty metal box, awesome
>>18619369it's staged you can see the man just stopping once he leaves in the window reflection
>>18617926you forgot the file name
>>18615041>during a waryou got it. popcorn is the world's most popular wartime food
>>18617923>mfwmust have cost him all of his goodboy points
>>18612218Japanese are obsessed with these stovetop cakes cuz they don't have ovens lol
>>18621450>Eating a whole spoon of wasabiFucking monstrous
>>18618025Hard to feel sorry for them when they had a lot of warning but refused to surrender or even seek cover.
>>18618683It was a show on German tv about how Americans eat. Pretty didgusting really, most germans who watched it were shocked.
>>18621450>this kills the crab
>>18613250i thought this was fucking ainsley till i read the comments i thought hed gone retarded and started doing meme dishes i.e. the fucking fritto sludge ramsey makes
>>18619035not at all the first couple of seasons are genuinly funny as fuck but until people sort of knew it was a comedy show it got abit over the top
>>18612809I love these staged videos. The slipper coming off at the end sold it.
>>18621699what is that liquid? a liquor or hot oil? why is it spitting like it's a hot oil?
>>18621462If you are unwilling to burn your house down you don't deserve turkey.
>>18620760Well I ate out your mother’s dirty box last night anon>and it was pretty awesome
>>18621462I feel like there's potential for a superhero here. "Flash Freeze"
>>18621824>nope,no. im not gay.
>>18621788Hot oil is my guess
>>18613884I let a pan preheat way too long on high once cause I got distracted prepping my ingredients, then when I put a squirt of oil in it caught fire after about a second
>>18617877Some old anime about the bombing of Hiroshima
>>18618490At least the frog was dead
>>18618490Turtlefren doesn't deserve this
>>18617904you wouldn't really a retarded or disabled girl, would you /ck/?
>>18621699holy shit those are toxic. you shouldnt eat centipieds because they eat molds and dead matter. those toxins are its defense mechanism.
>>18621967they're predators it's millipedes that eat dead matter
>>18612809>scripted asian videos
>>18621941the ol chinese cooking technique of making the animal suffer as much as possible while cooking it or eating it alive
>>18621712this is the tiny gimmick version of the way street popcorn is made sometimes. like >>18619450 said, they pop uniformly with no unpopped kernels. you can also make a lot more at a time
>>18617997what happened to the guy who would seethe about that knife tap at the beginning of the video every time this got posted? I miss him.
>>186205867,99$ + Tip , please
>>18621712the leggy boi goes crinch cronch
>>18621485>german food labelshmmmmmmmm
>>18617917I respect the skill that goes into this but the actual result is viscerally repulsive to me
>>18619458goodsic semper chef
>>18622249Why?Do you really preffer those dry and overcooked scrambled eggs amerimutts eat?
>>18621462Do americans really? No I mean do they really? This seems so stupid.
>>18622381no, they don't really. that is a safety video showing you what you should NOT do.
This thread makes me hate chinks so much
>>18622398which implies that they actually do, though.
>>18618490This kills the turtle
>>18622418no, it implies that someone at some point submerged frozen meat in boiling oilthis is an eventuality that has happens now and then everywhere in the worldit's not "something that americans do"
>>18622430What's the per capita frequency threshold for it to be a thing people do?
>>18622442hard to say, but 1k house fires on thanksgiving for the whole country sounds like very littleI would imagine there's a thousand fires every regular day
>>18622371no, I don't like eggs at alllike once a year or so I'll get cravings to eat them and I'll have a dozen like damn, eggs fucking rockthen the next day it's right back to disgust
>>18612039>Shows, shoves and twists each article multiple times in front of the camera.I hate twitchy persons.
>>18621457It's wasabi, not horseradish. Probably necessary to keep those raw crabs from upsetting his stomach.
>>18621699I wish death and calamity upon the Chinese
>>18621788Probably Vinegar or some sour condiment
>>18613057Manolo con doritos
>>186224461 in 500 homes burns every year in the USA? That seems like a lot.
>>18622618Anon, there are 332 million people in the US.
>>18622618Yeah, but one home can house multiple people. That's why there are fewer homes than people in the USA.
>>18612039Is there a video of the shanghai corn grenade going off and killing some bystanders?
>>18622442Average thanksgiving is 11 people, which means 30,000,000 dinners. Assuming 2/3 of those have a turkey and 1/20 fry it, that is 1 million fried turkeys, putting the odds at 1/1000 of something going wrong. My fry odds may be off, but that's just based off the frequency I've seen.
>>18621985i can save her
>>18621462Why do burgers insist of deep frying everything?
>>18612039What Bloodborne weapon is this
>>18622671Based back-of-the-envelope turkey fryer
>>18622730Look at her and tell me it isn't you that needs to be saved.
>>18622730save her from what, anon?you see that smile?when's the last time you smiled like that
>>18622442the turkey has to befully submerged right? how do you meassure the oil to ensure that happens and it doesnt spill
>>18622792most big deep fryers sold here have both a fill line for regular frying and a fill line specifically for fitting a whole turkey in. Also, the turkey needs to be thawed. A big chunk of those disasters come from chunks of ice still on the turkey.
>>18622792>put turkey in>fill with water until submerged>remove turkey>see where water line is
>>18622763i like those wacky tiles on the wall
>>18621450there's no way that this won't give him parasites of some kind
>>18619301mommy i want to be a popcorn man when I grow up
>>18621956All women are retarded to varying degrees, all that matters is their looks.
>>18617902“Hawaiian” food is just whatever processed garbage the whites sent them.
>>18621956I already rail your mother anon
>>18613589i know why this bitch so skinny
>>18622894There probably isn’t any room for more parasites.
>>18622418Every year a handful of “people” burn their houses down because they take a frozen turkey and toss it right into the oil.
>>18617883>>18613280>>18613068>>18615041>>18613575Are you pussies seriously scared of popcorn? Like you think popcorn can rip its way through a metal chamber or that there is atomic level pressure in there? Have you heard of these things called steam engines that put much higher pressures in similar chambers? Have you ANY life experience outside of your basement at all?
>>18613302Strong 2012 millennial hipster vibes. Actually reminds me of the "Williamsburg Street Fashion" videos.
>>18623032https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/popcorn-machine-kills-boy-xiao-3049682find me an article of someone dying from a cinema popcorn machine
>>18623082>>18623089Neither show the type of device used. Cope
>>18622736the beast popper
>>18623082>Smoke fills the air and the two passing women glare over at the man, apparently unharmed by the blast though clearly startled.Fail, try again.
>>18623208t. Popcorn siege weapon attendant
>>18623118Yes you should
>>18623216you forgot the meme arrow budtry again
>>18612757we got too cocky...
>>18613575havent laughed that hard in a while thanks mate
>>18623230>who are you quoting?
>>18623516I feel sadness that they will never feed their child a peeled apple.
>>18621699Fucking disgusting I can't believe we'll be forced to marry these disgusting bug eating reptile soulless women
>>18623059White people really do be taking out the taste from they food
>>18612184Hep C, and had been injecting buprenorphine for 5 years.This is LITERAL Pl*bbit bullshit--although, WHY someone would shoop the bullshit /pol/ garbage on it is clearly agit-prop.4Plebs contains NO SUCH POST.Can you guess the HAIR COLOR of the OP?>hint: not Blonde, Brown, Red or Black.(you can SEE that it's shooped just from the "/"s and the 2sJFC these boards are JUST AS FUCKING BAD as PLebbit nao..REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!1!!
>>18612368Pretty sure it's a LAW.At least here in Amerilard...
>>186224461k house fires caused by deepfrying turkeyNot 1k in total learn to read
Chef here, wow what a shit thread, I come to /ck/ to see what the masterminds at 4chan like to cook and it's all just garbage. KYS faggots.
>>18617911Not a webm, but should be:https://youtu.be/LcRbBUQpY4IIt makes NO FUCKING SENSE in ANY WAY.
>>18622546cant get more slop than this
>>18613302this is literally an irl recreation of a Homer Simpson montage. Babish did a better version.
>>18613589LMFAO, how fuckin zooted is this hoe?
>>18621462Think letting it thaw would help things a bit?
>>18617917Disgusting. It might have been passable if the eggs were cooked properly, but they're fucking raw. Goyslop is better than this trash.
>>18617997>taps the knifecringe. that's where I stopped the video. Sperglords should not be trusted to handle food.
>>18623059>pour beef tallow down the drain>complain about rising rent priceswhy do rentoids do this?
>>18623082>>18623032nothing of value was lost
>>18612107Honestly , a good item for the disabled people. I had a slight nerve damage in left arm, healed in over about a month but till then, whole arm from fingertips to an elbow felt like cotton candy. Kind of what Ja/ck/ looks like in vid. I'd appreciate such a gadget.
>>18612184why do you hate fat people
>>18617997>burnt and raw How
>>18622546WOULD DESTROY. For some reason lentils and beans from indian places don't make me gassy as home made do. i dunno.
>>18623890Increased health insurance rates.
>>18621985is she eating dirt
>>18623467You know that means "Fuck Off" in Japanese, right?Kinda puts a new spin on SP, no?
>>18623942It's probably Cassava paste.vile...
>>18612752Depends a lot on what kind, not everyone has the time, "wisdom", and/or patience for proper wood smoking, but a decent electric pellet smoker will get similar quality meat for people that don't want to dedicate the effort to learning the skillPropane and digital electric "smokers" are outdoor ovens and will only fool people that have never had real barbque before
>>18618759old fart loooks like the result of 3 generations of inbreeding
>>18612752>>18624051It's honestly not that hard, you just need enough free time on the weekends to try it a bunch of times until it comes out right. You can buy one of those cheap charcoal smokers. If you are really crafty, you can even use a regular charcoal grill. For both you just have to be ready to refill the coals and check the temperature every hour.
>>18612163>the old nipponese way consists in folding the soy sauce over a hundred times over itself you gaijins would never come up with something like this. >oh yes our soy sauce takes fifty years and a hundred viurgins must bathe in it.
>>18623949>You know that means "Fuck Off" in Japanese, right?no bro i do not know what random phrases mean in Japanese ive watched 5 animes in my life and idgaf about japan and japs and japanese outside of jav and their technical feasts >Kinda puts a new spin on SP, no?no it does not
>>18624155lel..You know where you are, right?Fucking retard.
>>18623949im avin a giggle @ ur autism more than anything
>>18612797>someone to be so fucked in the head that they make something like this?I don't have a copy, but you've seen it before:Woman struggles to cut carrots--and you're sure she's taking a fingertip off.
>>18617886NTA but I genuinely do not know.
>>18624175Ok, Ok...If you guys think I'm a puzzle piece, I must be acting like one...I'll take my due.t. not a weeb, Autie, Sperg, or Schizo--but I appreciate them.
>>18613302I fucking hate women
>>18622730>>18622001she almost undoubtedly has HIV
>>18614474I remember.... either on old /ck/ or the narration from that video saying they spend more calories catching the bugs, than they get from eating the patties.>>18618490Maybe tiny turtles are more tender, but every time I eat them.... it's just not worth the effort. Half of the meat is so tough.>>18622841>wacky tiles on the wallThey look like a bitch to clean.>>18624194 (You)I'm high as shit, this guy posted it >>18623516>>18624201>schizo.jpgIs this some shiso in-joke?
>>18624266>checked>Is this some shiso in-joke?No, just a standard pun.I do like the taste--call me crazy.
>>18623032I can't decide which is the strangest part of your outburst. That you think it's the popcorn people are concerned about, that you think a chinesium cast iron kettle is comparable to a steam engine, or that you think you can gain an intuitive understanding of pressure vessels by walking outside.
>>18621452That gf better watch out he’s gonna fuckin eat her next
>>18624167I also know when I am and this isn't 2005 4chan anymore you weeaboo
>>18624349>I also know when I am and this isn't 2005 4chan anymore you weeaboo
>>18623563Women are the worst chefs on the planet. Any man at 25 is probably a better chef than his grandma who's had an entire lifetime to master the craft.
>>18617997Did he fall asleep at a party the night before going to work?
>>18623516>womanAre you serious? You really can't tell?
>>18625007the gif seems to work better, less blurry