You're not Dick's Last Resort. You are not Pat's. You are a bad copy of an idea that only works for tourist traps. Stop doing this shit if you're just a regular ass restaurant.
the fuck is wrong with iced tea?
>no lettuce wraps or ice tea>ice teaand what do those two things have to do with each other that it would be phrased/partitioned like that?
>>18611590>no wifiI don't go to any restaurant without it. I don't even use my phone while eating, just the principle of the matter.
>>18611600>and what do those two things have to do with each other that it would be phrased/partitioned like that?You aren't interpreting the conjunction correctly. No lettuce wrap tea and no ice tea.
>>18611617loving every laugh
i hate hipster millennial shit like mushrooms and onion rings
>>18611590My favorite part is "any cheese other then" So much ranting and they can't even spell. What a wonderful way to advertise you suck at everything.
>>18611617Everything else on the list makes sense to be paired in that way except that one. And it's ICED tea, not "ice tea". You aren't steeping the flavor out of a fucking ice cube.
>>18611590What a mystery it is that they've been closed down for like 6 months.
Who was in the wrong here
>>18611685One of them is a woman.
>>18611590Things you need to "NO" before putting up this signYou'll have"NO" business from me.
>>18611699based based based based
>>18611715"elite" on yelp are verified users selected by yelp staff for having quality reviews and writing quality
>>18611721>>18611741Thank you for correcting the record, Lauren A. Very cool!
>>18611590>Burger place>Refuses to use mushroomsEverything besides gluten free on that list was unreasonable and retarded but that is ridiculous, variations of mushroom+bacon burgers are on the menu at almost every burger restaurant and bar/pub with "gourmet" burgers. It's literally a sign saying the chef is too shit or lazy to figure out mushrooms.
I thought this was unreasonable and then I remembered people like Alton Brown do things like demand hush puppies at restaurants because there is fried fish on the menu
>>18611590unsweetened Iced tea is my drink of choice what the fuck is up with these people
>>18611648>You aren't steeping the flavor out of a fucking ice cube.The average anomalous-owned fridge/freezer begs to differ. There's TONS of mysteryflavors to choose from.
>>18611590>Yelpers report this location has closed.
>>18611685That sounds like a pretty accurate review. It's a place that survived for a time on being edgy to distract from it being another basic bitch burger joint. One wonders why they've been "temporarily" closed for ages now.
>>18611590I used to be a faggot like that until I got celiac
>>18611590>go to restaurant>waiter says "get the fuck out of here" and spits at me>leave a tip and walk away
>>18611685>>18611865This guy seems like a twat
>>18611865The fucking owner douche is the literal embodiment of the types of faggots on here who just can’t stop screeching “c-cope and s-s-seeeeeeeeeethe AGHHHHHH”
>>18611938Dilate & Have sex
>>18611597you mean sweet tea?
>>18611938>Go to /ck/ restaurant>Order food>It's cold>"Excuse me sir, my food is cold">"Cope, seethe, and dilate that will be $9.95 plus tip"
>>18611983Technically you can’t really do both. Once the pee pee is gone it’s not really intercourse anymore, it’s just brutalizing and further maiming an artificial orifice by wounding it further.
>>18611685The onion IT had no business being there
>>18611590>no onion ringsDropped. What kind of slop joint doesn't sell onion rings?
So they don't have onion rings. Lots of restaurants don't have onion rings. Why is everyone in this thread losing their shit?
>>18612054I don't care about onion rings, I think most people in this thread think the>Look, it's a list of services we think you probably want. But we won't give them to you! Sign is overdone.
>no veggie or turkey burgersbased>no lettuce wraps or ice teabased>no thousand island or ranchbased>no mushrooms or avocadosbased>no wheat or gluten free breadbased>no onion rings or any cheese other then Americannot based
>>18612054It all started with the steak ordering instructions sign, people with asperger cannot comprehend sarcasm and treat everything literally.
>>18612149Pat's will absolutely tell you to go to the back of the line, that's part of the tourist "experience." There's also things like Karen's Diner with intentionally bad service and of course Dick's
>>18611865Just tell them they are cold, it takes 10 seconds to refry
>>18611865>I fucking love the food at this place and I've been there dozens of times but the service was a bit off this one time so 3 starsWhat a dumb cunt
>>18611685Conflicted. Owner is pretentious twat, I have no truck with vegetarians who do not broadcast their holier than thou attitude, but on the other hand, the other party is female. So it's pretty hard.
>>18612194The only good tourist trap is the Heart Attack Grill :^)
just stand there until you receive your order
>>18611590>no Ranch or Thousand IslandIs this supposed to be some boomer flex? Those things are older than the person that owns that business.
>>18611633KekThis shop was trying so hard to be edgy.
>>18612361I think so. The sign should have just said>NO BOOMERS>NO ZOOMERS>NO COOMERS>BURGERS FOR CHADS ONLY >GTFO>BACK TO REDDIIT
>>18611590>no wheat bread>no gluten-free (non-wheat) breadWhat do they serve the burgers on???
>>18611590this is the most retarded boomer thing i've seen in my life but he's 100% right
>>18612724>he doesn't enjoy his burger on quantum superposition antimatter buns
>>18611590>things you're required to "no">"no" veggie burgersdoes this mean my order has to be veggie burger?or does it mean know (in the biblical sense) and i have to fuck the veggie burgerbrehs what do they mean by >"American"i am very confused and scared
>>18612724The person who wrote the sign in the OP is a retarded boomer, so what they mean by >"NO" Wheat or Gluten Free Breadactually means>"NO" Wheat Free or Gluten Free Bread
if you like “pumpkin spice” flavor you are biologically female
>>18611685He should have listened.
>>18612019Least obsessed 4chin poster
>>18612194>You must be at least>This:><------------------------------------------------------------->>wide to work here
>>18612724i think a lot of americans call it "wheat bread" when it has any amount of wholemeal/grain in it so it could mean that or wheat-free
>>18612724White bread, you idiot.
>>18611590>Try to forcefully resist the zeitgeist instead of using subversion.>Temporarily closed.Woah.Bet he didn't allow takeout orders too.
>>18611685They're both pretentious cocksuckers
>>18611590I get the no for basic vegan/vegetarian twattery, but if you don't have mushrooms, avocado, onion rings, or iced tea, the fuck are you doing as a burger joint? Those are common toppings / sides for burgers. I mean no Iced Tea? That is bottom tier restaurant drinks right there. Can you even call yourself a restaurant without Iced Tea? Even mom and pop joints with fridge soda can manage iced tea. How bad of a fuckup are you to not have tea? How the fuck can I trust them to even know what a burger IS, if they don't know what tea is? You are definitely not qualified to operate a grill if you can't brew tea.
>>18611590All I see is a restaurant defending themselves against shit customers
I'd appreciate it a lot more if they had that sign and also have onion rings, ice tea, burger substitutes, and a wide array of cheeses. Turn it into a different type of abuse, something a bit more refined like the gaslight dinner instead of just the standard abrasive domineering relationship. Just have the kitchen make what they feel like after ordering anyway and insist that was what was requested.
God I hate wanky shit like this.
>>18611685>boiled pastrami burgerI immediately know every feature of this restaurant, one of them is that it's run by a retard
>>18613465Perhaps they mean those vegetarian mushroom burgers?
yelpers (pompous fags) and the byproduct (pompous fag restauranteurs)
>>18611590Prominently displayed signage like this indicates an angary, self righteous, pompous, perpetually butthurt, marginally successful owner on the verge of bankruptcy.I avoid them like the plague. They seem to be universally poorly staffed, used sub-standard ingredients, and over charge for the product.Places like Pat's or Dicks are like a stage play, they got a schtick going for entertainment value. All the others are just cringeworthy.
>>18611611Sure you don't.I suspect you eat alone.
>>18613765>I suspect you eat alone.Only when what I'm eating is your mother's roast beef cunt
>>18611779Who the hell has mushrooms on a burger unless you're a vegan pretending you're eating beef?
>>18612054it's one thing to not have onion rings and it's another thing to be all "YEAH WE DON'T DO NO FUCKIN' 'ONION RINGS' HERE FAGGOT FUCK YOU IF YOU WANT ONION RINGS"
>>18611891> Doesn't like a restaurant.> Still leaves a tip.Welcome to America.
>>18611590who thought that this would be a good idea
>>18613764I always felt like Pat's is an inch away of getting their place burned down. You get a ticket and before you order their isnt any indication what it's gonna cost. One drink and a sandwich later you are down 50 bucks. I would start a fucking fight
>>18612133I had nothing to add to this thread but using the retard word "based".Aren't I a little homo?
>>18613771Listen faggot, we're not all 15 like you here.My mother died in 2005.
>>18611617wait a second....
>>18613865>le you eat at restaurants alone!!don't be surprised when people think you're 15 if you say shit like that
>>18612724>>18612798>>18612919really not hard anons...
>>18613782Shroom and Swiss delicious
>>18613865My apologies, I eat your mother's dried up beef jerky cunt
>>18611597It's usually drunk by Urban Americans
>>18611685>Based boomer Vs zoomzoomOnly one winner here
>>18613908The no singles policy exists for a reason
>>18613782I eat mushrooms with everything. Its the greatest food item that doesnt come from an animal. Multiple magnitide better than any vegetable.
>>18613782What? It's not even a rare thing, dude.
>>18611590Cant they just display their menu? Are burgers unable to read menus?
>>18611590>No onion ringsDiscarded, with prejudice
>>18614122>Doesnt come from an animal>Still covered in shitAmazing
>>18612820he messed with the (((elite))) and now he's NEET
>>18611685On this occasion Karen is right. Dare I say, pretty based.
>>18611721So kikes then. Blue check mark.
>>18613782if it works, it works. mushrooms on a burger work. simple as.
>>18612133Based doesn't mean what you think it means newfag
>>18613782Sorry they don't put mushrooms on your burger at McDonald's. People who like actual good burgers know mushrooms are great on them
>>18613782I've had some good burgers in my time. Uh I...I love a good swiss, melted swiss cheese with mush-roasted mushrooms and caramelised onions on a burger. Uh, that is hot stuff, you can get that at- at a number of different places.
>>18614696No, not everything is kikes you braindead moron. Elite just means you review a shitton of places and people engage with your reviews by liking them or thinking they're helpful. Get the fuck off the internet
>>18611685>Im eliteHoly fucking based. Imagine opening with that. Whoever youre arguing against just automatically loses.
>>18611685>>18611590The owner is a moron and his burgers are probably shit, that's why he's closed down now. Too bad so sad
>>18612194This picture is actually very impressive and I want to know how the person behind the camera was able to round up so many women who are all quite similarly ugly in their own entirely unique way.
>>18615501You'd be surprised at the power of a smile. Why do you think men always tell women to smile more?
>>18615501>look at all those women, so ugly to photograph!I double dog dare you to post a picture of your ugly face for us to laugh at. I wonder what your excuse will be, or if you'll just ignore this.
>>18613792Yes, that is indeed the joke. Thank you, Mr. Reddit.
>>18611590>no cheese other than American So no cheese?
>>18611865Been going 16 years but never wrote a review
>>18613782mushroom+swiss+mayo+onions is one of the holy trinity of burger topping combos
>>18616729Cheese emulsified with extra milk is still cheese, retard. That's all American cheese is, just cheddar cheese mixed with extra milk so it melts better.
>>18616746Based. On true facts. What are the other two?
>>18616775cheddar+bacon+ketchup+mayo is another, but the 3rd is lost to time, though many have tried to uncover it over the years. perhaps you have an idea?
>>18616789I really enjoyed burger with basturma the other day (very surprising), but I forgot what other toppings it had.
>>18611685>I'm eliteunfathomably based
>>18616761When foreigner say American cheese they're talking about Kraft singles or Velveeta.
>>18614122checked.. based shroom enjoyer.
>>18611590No mushrooms? Lame
>>18611685>acting bitchy on the internetvs>spending your time and money making a shit burger jointlauren wins because at least she's just a tactless shitposter and not somebody who dedicated their life to a failed meme restaurant
>>18616529soooooo....youre a fucking retard
>>18611590Americans need to understand that people ordering gluten-free do it because they have coeliac disease, a wheat allergy, not because it's them fancy faggot city slickers with their fad diets. If you don't offer a gluten-free option, your restaurant sucks, period. Being proud or bragging about it despite it being an intensely cost-effective and low-price option to implement you still see shit like this
>>18617022>Being proud or bragging about it despite it being an intensely cost-effective and low-price option to implement you still see shit like thisThis was retarded, I think I was having a mini stroke, sgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
>>18617022Americans are easily convinced that they have celiacs though, in fact you can convince your average American that he's infected with just about anything
>>18611721So a certified fucking autist
>>18613088White bread contains wheat you fucking retard
>>18617022>not because it's them fancy faggot city slickers with their fad diets.Yes it is exactly that. Very few people actually have celiac, it's on par with any other food allergy
>>18611938I didn’t start a business to suck dick all day. Go fuck your self you stupid cunt.
>>18611685Lauren clearly has the bigger dick in this situation.
>>18617309White bread and wheat bread are still two different types of bread, and health-conscious types are known for asking for wheat bread over white.
>>18617035Retards need to understand if you are allergic to something, it is a bad idea to go to a restaurant where said item you are "allergic' to is a main staple.
>>18618057Oh no no no no white bread bros, we were wheat the entire time!?!?!?!
>>18614696It's more like Google local guide.
>>18616789Damn anon now you really have my noggin joggin about what the third burger in the trinity is
>>18618175Wheat bread is the dumb Amerishart way of saying whole wheat bread. They just can't handle the extra word.
>>18618424No, marketers have been using the phrase "Whole Wheat" for about 20 years now.
>>18618431Wouldn't know, don't live in the same shithole you do or speak your parochial dialect.
>>18618435Then why are you posting about it, nerd?
>>18618075But then how would I get attention and special treatment?
>>18616839>American Cheese>Kraft Singles or VelveetaWhat, is there a third kind of American cheese? You guys weren't actually supposed to eat the Processed Cheese Product from those humanitarian MREs, we're pretty sure that causes mega cancer or something.>t. Burger
>>18618175It's not my fault you're a retard who can't read the sign. It's not saying, "No wheat-free bread and no gluten-free bread," it's saying, "No wheat bread and no gluten-free bread," which means they only have white bread.>>18618424>Wheat bread is the dumb Amerishart way of saying whole wheat bread.Not true. Wheat, whole wheat, and whole grain breads all have different definitions from the FDA. You can find each of them in a grocery store and they are all distinct from one another.
>>18618446>What, is there a third kind of American cheese?Yes, there is actual non-processed American cheese which has existed for longer than Kraft Singles and Velveeta. Those processed cheeses are named after the real American cheese because that's what they aim to imitate. I buy non-processed American cheese from the deli all the time.
>>18618469Yes, "wheat bread" is usually made using white flour coloured with caramel food colouring to imitate whole wheat bread, because America has forsaken God and turned to the devil.
>>18616731Most people don't write up reviews unless the experience was negative or otherwise disappointing.
>>18618473>non-processed American cheese No, there isn't. There's Monterey jack and cheddar. Actual American cheese that is cheese isn't called 'American cheese'. What you're buying is still processed cheese which is basically all the scraps from the cheese making process shoved into a mold and squeezed. Basically what people on welfare used to know as government cheese. It's all garbage, and you have shit taste. This is actual 'American cheese' i.e. cheese that comes from America. You're buying unbranded factory waste while pretending it's somehow superior to Kraft singles.
sounds based to me.
>>18612724Carbohydrate sponge aka 99c for eight tiny units of "burger buns"Owner of the shithole sounds like a cunt. Start cooking at home, invite friends or neighbors, put eating out savings into a nice outdoor grill or kitchen stuff. Fuck smarmy restaurants.
>>18620945>start cooking at home>invite friends and neighbors lol. this is how cooklets imagine cooking is. Just people streaming in and out of your home all day and night eating your home cooked food.
>>18611685George. The correct response is to say fucking nothing and let your work speak for itself. Accusing customers of leaving fake reviews lets everyone know you're a cunt and that the bitch's 1 Star is probably accurate.That's not to say Lauren isn't a twat; she is. But even twats can be right sometimes.
>>18616828What are you doing here John. I thought you hated /ck/
>>18611611lol, it's one of those people who go out to eat then just stare at a screen like a zombie
>>18612054There's nothing wrong with not having onion rings or mushrooms or avocados, but there's absolutely nothing to be gained by being a smug prick about it
>>18616789>>18618383Pepperjack, bacon, and guacamole
>>18611597The people who drink it are high maintenance and bring a business nothing but trouble.
>>18611633LOL, onion rings have been around since the 60’s. That shit is as old as Elvis.
>>18621662Yes anon, I'm sure your two or three anecdotal experiences are indicative of all iced tea enjoyers>>18611633you best be baiting boy
>>18611611>Using public wifiI'd rather lick a toilet
>>18611685When a customer has a problem with a restaurant, it's difficult to determine who was in the right. When 400 customers have a problem with a restaurant, that raises some very reasonable suspicions
>>18611590>have burgers>don't have onion ringsWell fuck you then, fucking faggot.
>>18621682>>18621696that poster is very very obviously being sarcastic for humourit's like when someone talks about bell peppers being too spicy for them
>>18611685thinking that your no-name burger shack has 400 "fake reviews" is pure schizo conspiratard shit
>>18611590lol sounds like a shitty fucking place.
>>18611590All DrunkYeah I'll have the turkey burger with ranch and mushrooms on wheat with provoloneA iced teawith some onion ringsthanks
>>18622036>he's been probably goyslop and sneedoil posting on here since his shit joint got closed
>>18612317Pic related is my favorite tourist trap.
>>18612054it's the way the sign smugly refuses, as if to tirade against, popular foods in young, liberal metropolitan areas like iced teas, gluten free bread, avocados etc, but then somehow lumps in onion rings and mushrooms with those
>>18619499>No, there isn't. There's Monterey jack and cheddar. Actual American cheese that is cheese isn't called 'American cheese'.It is still called American cheese just as ricotta would be called an Italian cheese.
>euros still think all American cheese is pasteurized process cheeselol
>>18622194>anThat's your error. To illuminate, note that Swiss cheese isn't the only type of cheese that is a Swiss cheese.
>>18614100>>18621662???????????Is this some yankee meme? Fucking carpetbaggers.