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old thread >>10673595
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
I am here to confess that I sometimes crush on /snow/ lolcows because I have a big gay saviour complex and some of these OF hookers are just the most pathetic women on earth. Shayna and that 'looking for a mummy' chick would both get it. I know I can't fix them but god damn, the challenge appeals to me for some fucked up reason.
>>
>>10686659
pure masochism
>>
>>10686659
Maternal instincts I'm assuming mixed with desire? My mother is similar, she's a retired cop that ends up dating low income women or former prisoners in an attempt to save them from themselves. Some were successful, others not so much.
>>
>>10686659
o shit do you have a link to the thread about the looking for a mummy chick? I think i might know the one. i used to go on penpal websites when i was like 14 and saw some of her whack ass profiles on several. she was a really pretty blonde lady who wrote essays-long profile descriptions about how she doesn’t want sex/a relationship and just wants to be mothered… she’s surfaced on Reddit too. it has to be the same one
>>
I love pieces with full shirring and it breaks my heart seeing that they all get purchased/bid on by 130 cm bust fatties for the sake of it, I just want my comfy michelin man pieces. They aren't supposed to be worn by landwhales who stretch them out to the point you don't even konw that there's ever been shirring at all.
>>
>>10686667
I don't I'm afraid because it's old as fuck, you might still be able to find it if you go wayyy back on snow, but yes that's the girl. Had a hamster YouTube channel that was quite popular too.
>>
>>10686670
Agreed. Shirring is a super cute design element, makes pieces very comfy to wear and only looks good on those who would fit the garment without it. Makes me sad that fatties buy them just to stretch the elastic to its absolute limit.
>>
>>10686667
>>10686672
is this her? can't post the actual link since the system sees it as spam

https://lolcow dot farm/snow/res/795945.html
>>
i think im falling out of love with lolita. I still find the fashion so cute, but i'd rather be buying the other alt clothes i like to wear much more. I think I just got in over my head when i first started buying for my wardrobe. I can never decide if i look nice in it.
I've been thinking of selling my wardrobe, and only keeping around 3-4 of my main pieces, but also the effort i went to for acquiring the pieces i have keeps putting me off.
Any advice gulls??
>>
>>10686682
You could always just keep your dresses and start buying other clothes. That way if you ever feel like you want to slip on a dress, you can. Unless you're strapped for cash and need bill money. In that case go-ahead and sell.
>>
>>10686687
I don't really NEED the money, it'd probably just go back into buying other clothing anyway, i guess i just feel guilty having all these pieces and not wearing them
>>
>>10686682
I would sell them if I were you. What's the point in keeping clothes that you no longer feel joy from wearing? Personally I feel much better when I sell things I'm no longer attached to, knowing that someone else currently cherishes them as much as I used to makes me happy.
>>
>>10686694
i think i'll bite the bullet and sell them, thanks for your advice anon
>>
>>10686659
>Shayna
I used to know a really pathetic lolita with this name who’s a total slut and made everyone uncomfortable by going on about kinks in groups with people she barely knew. I don’t pay much attention to lolcows, but it would be hilarious if she’s been one this whole time
>>
>>10686667
bodyline still has the shirred blouse available
>>
>>10686696
nta but i did the same thing at the beginning of the year and am so happy about it.
>>
>>10686637
fuck you soup
>>
>finally have the confidence to wea lolita
>have money
>tfw I look shit in it bc too old
>>
>>10686749
If you're under 40 you're mostly fine. If you're over 40 and haven't been keeping up with your skin or genetics are fucking you up, then you're better off wearing classic and toned down coords.
>t. 33 yr old
>>
>>10686756
Im 24 with really bad skin, kinda look like a junkie
>>
>>10686784
You're still young so you have time to fix your skin now. 30s is usually when shit begins to start actually showing age. If you don't feel like doing that, which is fine, there's always makeup.
>>
>>10686784
Wear oldschool, 8/10 oldschoolers look like this
>>
>>10686785
>>10686756
>>10686786
Thank you anons, you really made my day
>>
>>10686682
If you have the space you should keep them. Maybe decide again in a year if you want to sell them.
>>
>>10686788
No problem. Keep doing what makes you happy.
>>
Ripped a hole in my OTKS. Disappointed but they were cheap so I'll just get more.
>>
>>10686748
I’m a devoted Christian can’t do gay stuff sorry. Unless you’re a girl I think pegging is okay
>>
>>10686850
i am a girl
>>
>>10686850
Hey soup, can I peg you in lolita?
>>
>>10686876
fuck off i asked first!
>>
>>10686933
I'm cuter so I get to go first
>>
>>10686935
>>10686933
Gentlemen please. There's enough of me to go around.
>>
>>10686866
>>10686876
it was a Christian joke. no butt stuff
>>
>>10686876
>>10686933
I love butt stuff. I'm just too shy to admit it.
>>
>>10686959
Me too! See, we're made for each other. I demand we hold a /cgl/ wedding before I peg you, no butt stuff before marriage.
>>
>>10686965
If you insist, please be gentle. UWU
>>
>>10686959
>>10686965
>>10686967
using my name in vain is a sin. butt (heh) if you’re gonna go thru with it. you have to call me your dirty little shitposter as you punish me by pegging.

alright I couldn’t help it no more gay shit I’m napping IM NOT HERE ANYMORE don’t ruin the respected image I set up for myself pls
>>
>>10686979
BUT BEFORE I GO one more thing.
I'm sorry for being annoying all the time and posting irrelevant things.

I can't cope with my love for men so I try to talk to as many girls as I can and this is the only place I can do it. OKAY IM NOT HERE ANYMORE FOR REAL THIS TIME.
>>
>>10686980
wanna pay my medical bills for me. I’ll let you peg me too if you do
>>
hopefully getting a better-paying job soon, i have my eye on some stuff to treat myself to when i can set aside more money for lolita :o)
>>
I feel disgusted. My coworker, old enough to be my father, got fired today and decided he should call me up and ask me on a date. he is still married. He tongue tripped over his explanation of why he as a married man would ask me out, by saying something about 'papers'.
i get paid tomorrow so i'm going to cope by buying cute stuff and never picking up the phone for him again
>>
>tfw another episode of friend circle splitting drama
Why does this happen so often in the cosplay community
>>
>>10686682
Getting over the mental barrier to sell is hard but honestly it’s so freeing. What works for me is doing a first pass and pulling out a few things you won’t miss too much, say 10 items? After that first pass wait a month and pick a few more items to sell. I find it gets easier after each pass because it felt good to do it before.

I’m saying this as a hypocrite with way too many pieces I don’t wear at the moment, but I think I was happiest when I had around 10 pieces I really loved.
>>
>>10686708
Could be the same person, this one never shuts up about kink. Where are you from?
>>
My boyfriend is an asshole. This was the first year I could give him a Christmas present. Even though money is tight, I managed to sell a few things and pay for a very thought out, useful gift that I know he wanted and that would normally be way out of my budget. I spent an entire day thinking of how I want to make it look nice and cute, and get it to him in time for Christmas, since we're currently in an LDR. All I got in response was that he doesn't get why I would want to do that and how all holidays are made up. After all the effort I put into his gift, this response just crushed me and ruined any remnants of the holiday spirit still left at this shitty of a time in my life. I genuinely love him and just wanted to make him happy this holiday season.
>>
My schizo boyfriend hit me again. I wouldn't even just say hit but I'm suffering multiple pretty bad injuries right now. He's going back on medication... I don't understand how someone can threaten your life like this and say they love you. I can't even look at lolita and enjoy it anymore. I hate life.
>>
Turns out my gf was very disturbed by me and my best friend's hobby...
I can sing (somewhat well) in girlvoice and play bass and we cosplay and play songs from K-ON (I'm Mio she's Yui)
She's also jealous about her ughh
She thought that by "I like anime" meant I like stuff like Naruto and by "I like cosplay" I meant I like looking at cosplay probably.
We're finally gonna post our fude pen cover tho which is nice
>>
>>10687156
NGL your gf is cringe
>>
I miss when homestuck cosplay was a thing. I was too young when it was a really big thing at cons. I'm in my 20s now and would love to have the sort of fun I saw those wackos getting up to. Minus the actually bad stuff.
I think I'd make a good Jade.
Man.
>>
>>10686637
>tfw all the romance is gone from dating

I don't find anyone even remotely charming anymore. Maybe it's my fault for reading too many romance stories but God damn IRL dating is so tense and at times aggressive.
>>
>>10687148
if it’s a one off incident where he’s being an asshole it might be because he doesn’t want you to waste the money you saved up on him. kinda like a uh you guys already know you love each other money is tight so you don’t have to stress about holidays to get me smthin.
>>
Current feel: was going to post a feel but this feels thread is too full of turbo grim shit, feel like my frivolous little whinge would be super entitled now, kinda relieved in a way to see how small my woes are
>>
>>10687205
>God damn IRL dating is so tense and at times aggressive
Have you considered relaxing and being less aggressive?

Tbh though there IS a "right time" for dating, nobody likes to admit it because it scares them but if you're still looking for bf/gf after like age 23 you're sifting leftovers and it's just going to get more and more grim.
>>
>>10687205
Date women. I thought romance was over for me then I met the love of my life at 28 and we do all the dates, trips, presents and mushy stuff that I've been missing.
>>
>>10687220
aint it great I hate happy feels
>>10687205
what kind of romance stories do you read. I always thought people that say they like reading romance to read romcom kdama lovey dovey type shit until I met this person and apparently the romance they read is ruby dixonverse with alien human orgies.
>>
>>10686637
>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Now you're speaking my language
>>10686659
Don't save her (she don't wonna be saved)
>>
>>10687148
DHA
>>
>>10686659
I like to lurk here, lolcow, and cc because I like all the women talking about how they hate "moids" and just basically saying incel shit but with the genders flipped, it makes me feel important
>>
The fuck am I supposed to do when a LM seller ghosts me after I pay for an item and confirm my address? It's stressing me out so much, even a simple "I'm busy but will ship it by x date" would make things so much better.
>>
>>10687349
You’ll be alright, send them a message asking when they will ship it out. If no response, send another one saying you will do a chargeback if you didn’t hear from them by some date. Then do the charegback if they still didn’t ship it to you.
>>
i had a small shopping addiction, but since i've gotten my new job i've managed to put away $10,000 (not including what's going into my retirement) in 4 months! and i haven't really been buying much, either. i just put half in my savings whenever i can.

i think i posted in feels before about how i racked up $3k in lolita debt before my job started, but i'm paying that off steadily too and my credit is still good. hip hip hooray!
>>
>>10687225
I'm not aggressive, I find that men tend to be.

>>10687231
Not gay unfortunately

>>10687240
Oh mostly just sweet drippy webtoons comics.
>>
>>10687445
Nice anon, I'm proud of you!
>>
>>10687451
oh that’s dope. It’s been a minute since I read any webtoons
>>10687445
good stuff
>>10685694
pho you
>>
>>10687205
It's annoying having to deal with people who don't have their shit together, I just end up getting annoyed with them. "ha ha i'm so helpless I can't cook dinner or clean my room or get a job or drive myself" bitch what the fuck can you do? Worst part is I feel bad about breaking up with them not because I care about them but because I feel like I'm abandoning a retarded child in a forest. Do I just wait til I'm 30 something and hope the single mother leftovers have a career that isn't at walmart?
>>10687225
>if you're still looking for bf/gf after like age 23 you're sifting leftovers and it's just going to get more and more grim
Rope it is then
>>
>>10687225
>looking for bf/gf after like age 23 you're sifting leftovers
This isn't true at all wtf plenty of people get out of log term relationships at that age. 23 isn't even old you child.
>>
Realized the other day just how much my living situation has improved from a few years ago. Used to live in an older shitty building. It was small with cramped closets and coin laundry machines. Even when we got better jobs, rapidly rising rent prices meant it wasn't really worth it to move so we stayed for a while. Whenever I wanted to do laundry, it was always a big production because it was cheaper to do multiple loads at once. And washing lolita was a pain. It meant handwashing one dress at a time in the tub and then dealing with it dripping on the laundry rack afterwards.

Since then we've moved to a different city and now live in a nicer (not luxurious or anything, but nicer) apartment complex. We have in suite laundry, walk in closets, and much more space. The other day we went out and did a ton of walking during an outing, over 4 hours, so my OP got a bit sweaty. I came home, stripped it off in the bathroom, and immediately tossed it in the washer on gentle cycle. 30 minutes later I was hanging up a damp but not dripping, perfectly clean dress, with almost zero effort on my part. I thought back to the huge pile of dresses that I would get building up bc I didn't have the space and energy to wash and dry them all as needed and I realized that will literally never happen again! It's such a good feel. I hope that every anon who's currently frustrated with their non-ideal living situation will soon be able to live somewhere that works better for their wants and needs.
>>
>>10687225
>thinking of people as leftovers
If that's your concern, everyone from 15 and up is "leftovers" or even younger. I guess you'll just die alone. Meanwhile, others have learned from their experiences and know more about themselves and other people.
>>
>>10687225
>but if you're still looking for bf/gf after like age 23 you're sifting leftovers
kek what is this redpill bullshit?
>>
>>10687636
Can confirm. My aunt traveled the world and didn't get married until she was 64.
>>
>>10687586
>"ha ha i'm so helpless I can't cook dinner or clean my room or get a job or drive myself" bitch what the fuck can you do?

You read my fucking mind anon. I got asked out on a date to an old laundromat a couple months ago and still can't comprehend it.
>>
>>10687584
that's my favorite soup, how dare you
>>
>>10687687
aww thanks. glad to be your favorite
>>
>>10686785
>fix your skin now.
sorry, but how do I start doing this? What should I read? What should I buy?
>>
>>10687119
>Why does this happen so often in the cosplay community
and it's always for the most petty stuff.
>>
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I am choosing to deliberately not response to certain folks who reply to me anymore because it always causes a fucking shit storm in the reply chain.
>>
>>10687148
This sound less like being an asshole, and more like not having the social skills to realize such a reaction would put the other person down. I think the same thing as your bf (holidays are a meme to trick people into spending more), but I'd never react like that because the other person would feel like shit. Remove this clue (realizing it would made the other person feel like shit), and your bf could've just said what was on his head.
If you really like him and would rather not break up over a single Christmas gift, I'd suggest bringing that up with him in a friendly, non-confronting way. He might just say "damn, you were right, sorry for reacting that way after you gave me a gift".
>>
>>10687156
your gf sounds unbased
>>
>>10687719
Here's a start
https://www.nytimes.com/guides/tmagazine/skincare-routine

Things to note
>using a towel counts as Exfoliation. I've stopped using one personally because it makes products sting after use.
>The Ordinary is a shop that sales good products for cheap
>Don't use too many products at once
>It takes at least two weeks to a month to start seeing results
>everyday routine is important
>>
>order new shoes from antaina via SS
>it arrived to the SS with scuff marks everywhere, the heel coming off and you can see the glue, and it’s not the material i requested
>every time i try to get shit from taobao this happens
>hoping antaina will exchange the shoes instead of ghosting me like every other store

Yeah like fucking hell i’m done with taobao after this
>>
>>10687749
thanks for sharing m8, I'll reading it. Will probably have to look similar products with are available here, but now I have somewhere to start. many thanks
>>
>>10687156
Are you really surprised by that?
Also not sure if girl or femboy?
>>
>>10687156
>She thought that by "I like anime" meant I like stuff like Naruto and by "I like cosplay" I meant I like looking at cosplay probably.
how did you become a couple without figuring out that
>>
>>10687763
I'll never understand people who get into relationships without knowing what each of you are into.
>>
>>10687156
I'd dump you too. That's fucking cringe.
>>
>>10687719
Even if you do nothing that the other anon mentioned, just putting on sunscreen whenever you go outside will do wonders in the long term. European > Japanese > American is the order of filters/effectiveness if I'm remembering correctly.
>>
>>10687787
Filters?
>>
>>10687673
>I got asked out on a date to an old laundromat
I know girls will use guys for a free dinner, but a free trip to the laundromat?
>>
>>10687713
itsa good response, but if you steal one more of my (you)s I’m going to do smthin about it
>>
If you want to hide the sped's posts, use these settings to load the filter into your cache
https://boards.4channel.org/cgl/thread/10686637#cfg=%7B%22settings%22%3A%22%7B%5C%22quotePreview%5C%22%3Atrue%2C%5C%22backlinks%5C%22%3Atrue%2C%5C%22quickReply%5C%22%3Atrue%2C%5C%22threadUpdater%5C%22%3Atrue%2C%5C%22threadHiding%5C%22%3Atrue%2C%5C%22alwaysAutoUpdate%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22topPageNav%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22threadWatcher%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22threadAutoWatcher%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22imageExpansion%5C%22%3Atrue%2C%5C%22fitToScreenExpansion%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22threadExpansion%5C%22%3Atrue%2C%5C%22alwaysDepage%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22localTime%5C%22%3Atrue%2C%5C%22stickyNav%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22keyBinds%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22inlineQuotes%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22showNWSBoards%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22filter%5C%22%3Atrue%2C%5C%22revealSpoilers%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22imageHover%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22threadStats%5C%22%3Atrue%2C%5C%22IDColor%5C%22%3Atrue%2C%5C%22noPictures%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22embedYouTube%5C%22%3Atrue%2C%5C%22embedSoundCloud%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22updaterSound%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22customCSS%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22autoScroll%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22hideStubs%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22compactThreads%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22centeredThreads%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22dropDownNav%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22autoHideNav%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22classicNav%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22fixedThreadWatcher%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22persistentQR%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22forceHTTPS%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22darkTheme%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22linkify%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22unmuteWebm%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22disableAll%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22customMenu%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22imageHoverBg%5C%22%3Afalse%7D%22%2C%22filters%22%3A%22%5B%7B%5C%22active%5C%22%3Atrue%2C%5C%22pattern%5C%22%3A%5C%22soup%5C%22%2C%5C%22boards%5C%22%3A%5C%22%5C%22%2C%5C%22type%5C%22%3A1%2C%5C%22auto%5C%22%3Afalse%2C%5C%22hide%5C%22%3Atrue%7D%5D%22%7D
>>
>>10687810
DO NOT CLICK ON THIS. IT HIDES YOUR OWN POST. I HAVE TO CLICK VIEW TO LOOK AT MY OWN POSTS NOW
>>
If you want to filter him, you can just do so by clicking in filter options.
>>
lmao soup btfo
>>
>>10687814
That's what the link does, you can export your 4chan settings into a clickable url
>>
why are you mean to soup >:(
>>
>>10687204
Yeah no you don't. Even if it "looked cool" there was always another shit stirrer around the corner, and no one sealed their body paint or took the time to learn how to remove their alcohol activated paint and made it everyone else's problem. The flash chapters were fun but would have been more fun as just an interactive webcomic with cool music and graphics sometimes and not an all consuming fandom.
>>
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idk if this is /cgl/ or more /fa/ or even /fit but today I was reminded about Eugenia and I just feel really depressed.
It hits every time I see the lass because there's the part of my mind saying "I can fix her" but I know I can't, nobody can in her situation.
She seems like a nice person once you strip away the mental disorder, I just want her to be happy...
>>
>>10687937
Yeah, I still wish I had the opportunity to go have fun in cosplay with other people who enjoyed Homestuck. I remember reading the things about unsealed paint and drama and have no doubt I would have had fun just hanging out and cosplaying with a group of close friends without being completely nuts. I had a substantial group of Homestuck fan online friends at the time but they were all 3-6 years older than me and could participate in the fandom in ways I couldn't.
I slipped away from the interest as I approached adulthood but now that I'm nearing my mid 20s I just miss the passion people had for that comic, even though it resulted in several catastrophes. Nothing hits the same anymore.
>>
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Wishlist:
. military lolita thread
. sweet lolita thread
. OTT sweet lolita thread
. fairy kei thread
. ass cosplay thread
>>
>>10687976
I want an ero lolita thread - we always argue about it but nobody ever has the cronuts to actually post good ero lolita
>>
>>10687151
so uh why are you still with him?
>>
Holy shit how are so many of you in shit relationships
>>
>>10687976
the ass cosplay thread will suck too many boob hungry dudes
>>
good lord i need to stay away from this board. every time i see gulls talk about measurements it makes me want to die. ive spent years working hard to get from nearly 300 lbs down to 125 lbs but nah none of that matters to my broken brain, seeing people call 89 cm bust average or the biggest you can be to be thin just fucking kills me instantly. immediately makes me feel like everything ive done up to this point is worthless.
>>
>>10688073
Diabulimia here, that talk stirs shit up in me too
>>
>>10687978
Ero lolita would result in it being bombarded by coomers. Otherwise I wouldn't mind.
>>
>>10688075
god damn nonny diabulimia is some serious shit, I do hope you're taking care of yourself. but truly there is something about the way gulls talk about sizes and weight that sets me off like nothing else.
>>
>>10688073
As long as you're making progress don't worry about it. Use it as fuel to keep going. Unfortunately when it comes to bust, I'm at 102lb yet fit everywhere else. Be prepared and accept your bust issues even after you lose weight if you have those genetics but don't let it stop you. Getting things professionally tailored helps a lot.
>>
>>10688083
102 cm bust not lbs. Jesus that would be terrifying
>>
>>10688038
YOU GOT BPD OR SOME SHIT WHAT DO YOU WANT
>>
>>10687933
they’re bullies you’re cool tho dont come to /cgl/ on monday
>>
>>10688083
nah I don't think i should keep going to be honest, I'm underweight for my height and my bust is 91 cm so it doesn't really end up being a problem, it just hurts to think all my progress is reduced to "still fat" in the eyes of other gulls. hurts bad man.
>>
>>10688115
Oh you're underweight? Yea you can stop. As long as you're not overweight there's just some things you can't help and that's fine. Like my mom says, people will ALWAYS find something wrong with you no matter what you do so if you're healthy and happy with yourself, pay others no mind. I mean, in the art thread someone drew a damn good masterpiece and yet anons still find flaws with it. That's just how the world is.

I do hate that I can never wear an OP because of my shoulders being so broad. That's like the one thing not even tailoring can fix.
>>
>>10688115
Post a photo (blur face) and we'll tell you what's up
>>
>>10688263
Don't bother engaging with these kinds of posters. This site is filled with gulls who have obvious EDs and just want to inflict their mental illness onto you to make themselves feel better.
>>
>>10688137
yeah, you're right anon, I know I shouldn't care. it was certainly eye opening to see that gorgeous pic ripped apart, some people really will just find any reason to hate something.

really feel ya on that I also have super broad shoulders and I always love OP's but can only fit into ones with full shirring

>>10688263
no way in hell am I selfposting on this board
>>
>>10687628
>>10687636
>>10687662
>The Mystery of Salt Boxing
It's really simple, Anons: people start pairing up permanently at 17-18. In this period people dump each other for awhile just as a sorting mechanism, essentially, that says nothing about the quality of anybody involved. Byt the time you hit 23 or so though, people are matched up and nearly everybody good is off the market, since they've also found a good match and stick to each other. After that point, breakups mainly only happen because one person can't be satisfied with a regular good relationship, i.e. turns out to have a screw loose. The better a gf/bf you are, the less likely you are to flip out and dump/get dumped after this point. For every year the sorting repeats and the quality matches get fewer.

This is pretty much a settled fact, there are statistics from IIRC the CDC showing that either a girl marries her bf from when she was 21, or she has like a 5-10% of ever getting married at all. They can marry at any actual age, 30 or 58 or whatever but it's going to be the same relationship even if they couldn't afford to get hitched before or whatever the reason was. Obviously most of that small remaining percentage are couples who met up when the girl was 22 or 23. So. (It's a bit different for boys because girls tend to like older boys, but it obviously maps directly as if you weren't with your gf when *she* was 21, odds are you won't marry her.)
>>
>>10688279
Gonna need a source link from you because everything that I'm finding is saying the average marrying age is 28-32, has been rising and lasting longer. What it sounds like you're talking about is a statistic from the 1920s. Besides all this, you seem to think breaking up is a result of people "flipping out" when chances are people find out they just don't work together.

Marrying young is more likely to result in divorce or long term unhappy marriages, something you'll find more with your parents and grandparents who were told to marry their high school sweet heart at 18-21 only to find out that after years of being together they don't work. They usually divorce after the kids are teens to adults or stay together due to religious beliefs and pressure from family. People with more experience in being in serious relationships are more likely going to know what they want out of a person and know how they are with another person more than someone who sticks with the first person they're with. Not saying it doesn't happen, just you're a fool if you think this is the normal.
>>
>>10688291
need me a religious girl so that she wont leave after finding out how autistic I am
>>
>>10687790
Filters = thoroughness of protection against UVA/UVB (sometimes implied by amount of SPF but not necessarily always).
>>
>>10688279
lmao what a fishy scrote post. [citation needed] and also thank GOD I don't have to date moids who actually believe shit like this. Homosexuality may have been the best thing to ever happen to me


Less fortunate (het) posters who read this tripe: this is a very common scaremongering tactic by men to try and threaten you into settling for someone you don't like, IE the kind of fat jobless ogre who posts shit like this on 4chan. Don't fall for his ruse.
>>
>>10688373
Who hurt you
>>
>>10688379
anon by making me read this tripe over an otherwise very enjoyable morning coffee
>>
>be me
>be somewhat of a loner
>be lesbian, cis
>want to have a gf
>you have never been succesfully had one, exactly
>you finally decide to stop messing around hoping for a random chance, and sign up for a lesbian app called Her
>build a refined profile with tons of effort
>make it clear that you’re looking for a serious, monogamous relationship
>yet basically the only ones who like you are bi women with boyfriends and polygamists
>a few lesbians in the mix, sure, but not much, and they always ghost after a few messages
>???
>last straw was a pre-everything 40yo transbian asking you to dig shit from her ass with a dragon dildo
>just out of nowhere
>were having a good convo too, but it became increasingly apparent that this fetish stuff is what she was only after
>this was your third match in the last month
>two others were a spambot, and a lesbian who never responded
Am I really that ugly/awkward?
Kind of feeling existential dread about never having a gf. Dating is fucking impossible.
>>
>need new shoes for pink coords
>talllita, big feet
>search forever, order size 12 offbrand tea parties
>they take 2 months to arrive
>they're a fucking men's size 12
I WANT TO DIE
>>
>>10688388
you could probably find one if you move to cali. everyone is pretty gay around here (except me).
>>
>>10688388
Ugh that is very relatable. I want to date other women too/I’ve never had a gf but apps feel like more of the same awkward social media mess that I’m trying to pull away from in general. I also live in a place where a lot of foreign residents are here short term and the people who aren’t see dating other women as temporary before they settle down with a guy because it’s expected culturally.

I’m sure you’re fine and it takes time etc. etc. but that’s frustrating as hell. I hope you find your special someone soon.
>>
>>10688388
If you're looking for an actual meaningful monogamous relationship, then the LGBTQ community isn't really where that's at.
>>
>>10688388
>tfw I went on date with several women but I always felt too shitty for them so I went back into the closet.
They are too pretty and I am so scared of commitment/intimacy. With men you can just cruise, they'll futurefake and lie to you anyway, so no reason to be concerned, plus they'll fuck anything including pumpkins.

Now, women are more selective and I feel really bad about my body when I look at other women because I feel like I smell, look fat and ugly even when I've lost weight/am freshly showered.
If you were ghosted, it might have been me because I'm inconsiderate and often will show up on dating sites to try but then give up
>>
>>10688388
HER is utter dogshit. I met my gf on Bumble but irl lesbian events are the way to go, imo. If you're looking for some general support/lesbian online friends to vent to abt this kinda thing, I'd be happy to drop the link to a comfy wlw discord server I run.
>>
>>10688405
well if she is a lesbian she doesn't have a choice.
>>10688388
Apparently this is a very common experience for lesbians dating online. Trannies and poly people really ruin everything.
>>
I think I want to start a lj but I don't want to show my face, would that be weird to do?
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>>10688411
>well if she is a lesbian she doesn't have a choice.
Not quite. I've known people that have changed their sexuality through trauma, hypnosis, and religious means.
>>
>>10688400
Thanks anon, yeah that sounds kinda relatable.
>>10688406
Can relate to that feel as well, but I don’t ghost ppl. You seem pretty adorable tho.
>>10688407
I’m kind of awkward irl, but guess it’s better than online. Your server sounds interesting, but I don’t use Discord very regularly, if that’s okay.
>>10688411
I guess transbians wouldn’t be so bad, if they just would let us cisbians have our own spaces sometimes. and wouldn’t be so aggressive. But polys are just kinda all around terrible and unstable, yeah.
>>
>>10687151
Emotional manipulation. I don't know what mental problems he has, but him hitting you is unacceptable even if it can be blamed on his mental health. I'd suggest you get help from friends and/or family to help you move out (if you live together), or break contact with him in general if you don't. If he is manipulative, or threatening you that he will kill himself, or saying you are a horrible person, don't listen and mov on no matter how much it will emotionally hurt you.
>>
>>10688373
>trashcans with cats rifling thru them on the bottom of the pattern, the cats have their own hobo graffiti on the walls for themselves in the background.
I'm sadly, very much aware. I wish I was a lesbian sometimes because being with a woman seems so much better. even considered transmen at some point.
>>
Wunderwelt are fucking impossible to deal with. I'm going to rip my hair out if I have to send one more email to them telling them to send me my fucking clothes.
>>
I just want someone to sell 1 SC bow in black on lm but it’s all either the whole set that gets snapped up or in the wrong color agg. I just have to be patient, i’m sure a lot of people didnt even get theirs yet
>>
>>10688491
Why didn't you order it during the MTO?
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>>10688503
Because i didn’t get into SC/AP until after the mto :( i’ve been a classic fag.
I managed to get the og version after the mto, but yeah just super bad timing on my part
>>
>>10688505
Hope you find it anon
>>
Tfw you make a comm event and get bombarded by members crying about how they won't be able to go because they don't actually own any lolita or are too poor bla bla bla

Why are you even posting this shit in the comments no one cares
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>>10688523
>they won't be able to go because they don't actually own any lolita
Why does the comm even allow them in in the first place?
>>
>>10688523
it's kinda rude of you to start an event and not offer out your closet to ppl who are new to your comm/dont own any brand. have you ever gone to a renaissance fair anon?
>>
>>10688526
>>10688526
OHH maybe I can be like Andrew Kim aka drew,drewlastname but instead of maid cafes we do lolita tea parties where you can rent out jsks/op and shit. I'm so smart good idea soup
>>
Why the fuck are there so many soups
>>
>>10688525
There's a lot of lolita at heart types in comms since mods are too spineless to exclude anyone without a single coord and even though I'm pretty sure they ask they don't actually make you provide proof
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>>10688529
I dunno other soup is schizo i'm pretty sure anyways do you listen to lil peep?
>>
>>10688529
I'm assuming someone is trolling harder than soup because everyone hates him and wants to see him gone.
Just ignore both.
>>
>>10688543
you’ll never have a lolita gf
>>
I'm a psychology major in the third year (out of four) and I've slowly become more and more disillusioned with my job prospects. I've been flipping through comments on Rufflechat about what other lolitas work as, and most jobs seem to fall under IT or marketing.
>Study something hard, until you understand, then you'll get a good job and can buy more brand
I regret choosing such a general degree. Psychology isn't as easy as I thought it would be. Even though I enjoy it, it really isn't great for getting a job. Clinical psych is fascinating, but the Masters programme is notoriously hard to get into, and I'm unsure if I really want to get into it when I/O psych looks equally lucrative. I'm taking the I/O psych intro module next semester, so hopefully that works well and I can be content with chasing after a masters in I/O. Otherwise...I guess I'll have to compete with the Business students in marketing, and the Data Science students in market research. I tried learning to code, and will continue learning for fun, but I doubt I have an affinity for it. FML.
>>
>>10688607
I almost went for psychology back in college but was told by some older people in my class there's little money to be made in it. Now I'm in IT and gotta say, it's fuck easy work for decent money.
>>
>>10688607
bf got a psychology degree, realized it was useless unless he wanted to be an HR person (or get a masters) and grinded code instead. he makes a lot of money for what he does. so do i... i really don't deserve the salary i make working in cyber lol. you don't even have to know how to code, there's so many paths in IT/tech that you can go down--just pick and dedicate.
>>
>>10688612
This. I'm only in basic tech support and making $20 an hour answering emails.
>>
I got so depressed and fat during lockdown that I barely fit into my brand and don't even recognize myself anymore. I was honestly feeling suicidal at one point, once it hit me that this is what I look like now and I can't even enjoy wearing the clothes I love. I decided to put together a meal plan and workout routine to get me back to where I used to be, instead of feeling sorry for myself. Going to start following it today, wish me luck gulls!
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>>10688628
You got this! Keep going and don’t give up. It will be a long journey but you will make it
>>
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>tfw getting screamed at for not using some zoomer's retarded neoprouns
kek the mental illness is rampant among teens
>>
>>10688607
Archeology student here
I kinda know how you feel
I guess
>>
>>10688630
Actually today, a customer got uppity with me because I referred to the person she was speaking with before as "they". Not because he's a snowflake or anything, I've just been in the habit of using "they" for years over the phone because some customers get pissed when you call them "ma'am" or "sir." Not even a trans thing, some old ladies sound like men and vice versa and they get pissed. But today this customer went on a rant about gender.
>>
>>10688630
>>10688639
hate snowflake shit. just make an official third bathroom for people who want to be assholes to other people, so we don't have to deal with men peaking under the women's fucking stall or touching themselves in the next one ffs.
>>
>>10688646
if the 3rd bathroom exists when i’m an old granma, i’d just go there to repeatedly glue hardcore yaoi pics into walls.
>>
>>10688445
This! I literally ordered an umbrella in March and they only recently sent it out.
>>
>>10688630
Genderspecials truly are a disease, but thankfully they're packed into middle school like sardines so maybe they'll grow out of it or better yet get bullied out of being a retard zoomer. Fingers crossed anon, because classes are coming back.
Would also help if these faggot parents stopped using ipads and iphones as babysitters.
t. work in education with older teens and young adults
>>
HEY NO POLITICS IN THE FEELS THREAD
I swear to god cali conservatives are so obnoxious online just because they dont have an outlet for it irl
>>
>>10688720
They refuse to send my shit via air mail because "parcel" air mail isn't running, but "letter" air mail is, and I've gotten literal boxes from Japan recently that were just thrown in a mailing bag that were sent to me just fine, but these folks won't throw three shirts into a bag for me. I hate it here.
>>
>>10688646
I talked about this with one of them and they said that having a 3rd bathroom invalidates transwomen as women. There's no reasoning with these people.
>>
>>10688781
If they call themselves trans then they aren't a woman. Trans =/= woman

Literally, if you're running around calling yourself TRANS you are NOT a woman. Those are TWO completely different identities.
>>
I had a dream a few weeks ago where I was walking down a staircase with this guy I went to high school with, haven't seen him in years IRL. Anyhow, in the dream I was afraid because the stairs were made of metal grate type material and we were really high up and I'm afriad of heights.

So I closed my eyes and hugged him really close, and then he hugged me back as we walked down the stairs. It felt so real. I just want a hug guys. I have all this affection and no bf to give it to, but I have trust issues that prevent me from dating.
>>
There is a 17 year gap between my youngest sibling and myself. Lately, he wants to video call and watch Dragon Ball together. On about the third day in:
>"Hey anon, can I ask you a question?"
>"Yeh"
>"Are you watching db with me because I'm your brother or because you like it?"
>In other words, are you doing this out of sibling obligation or because you like watching dragon ball with me specifically
>Tell him watching db with him is one of the highlights of my day, which is true.
>Feel a weird squeeze of heartache after
He's such a stoic and rational guy that when he shows this side of himself my heart hurts. I haven't been the best sister to my siblings, but they're a huge reason why I push myself to be a better woman.
Thanks for reading, I feel hormonal and wanted to dump my feelings here.
>>
>>10688862
Aw this is sweet
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>>10688862
Very cute. Siblings are the best honestly. I'm glad to have been a middle child and gotten to experience being a little and big sister to mine. If I was an only child I don't know what I would have done.
>>
>>10688291
>Gonna need a source link from you because everything that I'm finding is saying the average marrying age is 28-32, has been rising and lasting longer.
>t. Did not actually read the post she replied to
>>
>>10688388
Well... at least you got dubs
>>
>>10688797
I think trans people themselves have this confused. Back in my day, trans was seen as a mental illness and trans people were aware of that. They genuinely hated that they hated their bodies and private parts. Surgery was to help them cope and that was understandable. They knew even after they were going to be different and that was okay, what mattered was how they felt, not how people treated them (unless it was abuse obviously).

Now it's turned into a "mood" and everyone must adhere to your mood swings. Now you have people who aren't mentally ill, just conflicting with societies stereotypes about gender and thinking that if you don't agree, you're trans. It's stupid. If you like pink, dresses and makeup, you're a woman. If you like wearing pants and sports, you're a man. It's like we're back in the 50s.
>>
More happy feels: I recently applied to adopt a dog. She is super sweet and cute and I work from home so I can spend lots of time snuggling and taking good care of her. Fingers crossed the rescue thinks I'm a good fit. I've missed having a doggo around since I fostered them during lockdowns.
>>
>>10688526
Ntayrt but how in gods name is it rude not to lend your clothes to randoms?? Unless this was a shitpost but goddamn. Maybe if someone who goes to meetups vouches for someone to borrow something but even then I don’t trust people.

It’s a reasonable expectation that you would have a Lolita coord to attend a Lolita event jfc
>>
>>10688978
It's extremely obvious bait. Stop responding.
>>
>>10688978
If you see the name "soup" it's always a shitpost. The guy has no genuine conversations or takes to be had, just filter him out and you won't miss a thing.
>>
>>10686637
>talking in discord voice chat (yes, discord I know) with a bunch of people
>say "It's sad I can't get free nitro because I'm too old to be groomed haha"
>girl in the vc starts to do a play on words with grooming, saying "I'll groom you, let me do your hair"
>other girl says "I'll do his makeup"
>don't admit it, but think it would be nice to have some girls do makeup on me
Why? I'm a guy, I'm not gay or trans, and I swear I'm not AGP, so why would I want this? What mental illness is this called?
>>
I am so fucking tired of being horny and I keep getting attracted to older guys. Its fucking shit, I hate men especially those that think I'm in their league
>>
>>10688862
aww
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>>10688989
I think you just enjoy the attention anon
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>>10688995
Maybe
Just seems so weird why I'd want to do something so feminine
>>
>>10688998
First think to yourself;
Is having you hair done and make up actually feminine? Or is it only feminine because current society says it is? Do you want to do it because it's feminine to you or do you just want to do it for attention of others taking care of you?
>>
Trying to get some custom shoes and they don’t have brown leather wtff
Hoping they just misunderstood me, i asked them what color leather they have
>>
>>10689000
>Is having you hair done and make up actually feminine?
Well makeup is definitely pretty feminine at least in modern standards
>Do you want to do it because it's feminine to you or do you just want to do it for attention of others taking care of you?
A little bit of both
>>
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>>10689004
>Well makeup is definitely pretty feminine at least in modern standards
Is it though? Not even counting the hundreds of years men have been doing it, but even today you have men wearing no-makeup makeup looks and some of the most popular makeup artists are men wearing it in outlandish ways. Is the cosplayer feminine for wearing it? What about stage and costume? Makeup and hair styling is gender neutral and you only see it as feminine because your average person doesn't think about how much it's applied for others outside of women. I'm making a hill out of this to help change this thought process and cut down on troonery.
>A little bit of both
Tell me if I'm wrong, but your reason for wanting to do it because it's feminine to you is so you can look cute, is that right?
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>>10688978
it’s rude to the attending guests that you would host something so extravagant but not provide the basic necessities. back in Victorian times when a party was held, like say a masquerade ball, the host would usually supply masks for each attending guest. I read in some manga where less fortunate guests would even have their outfits for the night tailored and paid for by the host. that’s not even a rental but a whole new outfit that they got to keep after the event was over. so let me ask you anon is it not rude for you to host an event if you don’t loan out your closet to your guests? don’t host a tea party if you don’t own at least 50 different jsks/ops. there should be at minimum 2 color way in each jsks/ops but ideally 4 as well.
>>10688979
>>10688982
tell me you’re shitty hosts without telling me you’re shitty hosts. stop using tea parties as excuses to grab gulls money to fund your shopping addiction.
>>
Honestly I wish comms banned minors. They're obnoxious, cringey, weeby, and embarrassing to be around.
I don't want to be seen with or associated in any form with edgy tiktok 16 year olds. I can barely stand most people in their early 20s.
I'm sick of having to listen to them whine about feeling excluded because they're far younger than the rest of the comm that averages in mid to late 20s/30s because we have nothing in common interest wise and maturity wise.
>>
>>10689082
I wish the internet banned minors.
>>
>>10689082
Most larger comms tend to just have a friend group or two who separates themselves and kind of does their own private meets in addition to public comm meets. Just form one of those sub groups with your comm friends or make friends with those people and boom, no more having to deal with babysitting teenagers at meets cause you can avoid the public ones they'd be going too and stick to your more private events.
>>
>>10688945
DOGGE
>>
>>10688862
>17 year gap between my youngest sibling and myself
Sorry about his autism
>>
>>10687151
holy shit anon, please create a plan to safely leave him. you deserve better.
>>
some more sad feels: Got dumped last week. We weren't together for very long (a little over a month) but it stings because it was out of nowhere and in the height of the honeymoon period. Most of my friends think he just went along with the romantic shit in order to sleep with me. I'm young and I know there are other fish in the sea but I can't help but feel like I'll never find someone like him again.
>>
>>10688862
you're a good sister anon <3
>>
>>10689203
I'm sorry, that sucks...you are worth more than that. Someone better will come along I bet. Someone who writes you love letters, stays up all night talking to you, and gives you back massages while watching your favorite movie together!
>>
>>10689228
And then they stop after three years and admit they just put up with all the things I liked just so he could get into my pants. I'm a different anon but fuck investing any time and effort into guys.
>>
It has been such a fucking struggle trying to order genuine leather tea party shoes from antaina, that i kinda want to give up holy shit. The are making one pair for me in real leather and just told me they can't make the other style i wanted in real leather.
>>
>>10689232
Well that would suck. I mean I've been there. But I can't give up on the possibility of real love. I don't think anyone should. It's hard to find but worth it. Maybe it's just a fantasy, but I'd rather pretend it's true than not.
>>
>>10688802
This is honestly so touching, felt this in my chest. That’s a really beautiful and simple dream, those are the best ones. I can honestly relate anon, i also just want a deep hug and someone to pour all my love into, all i have right now are a cycle of husbandos. It’s more painful because i was close to having a bf but its fallen apart since my parents disapproved and I can’t stand up for myself. So close yet so far.
>>
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I can't take being skinnyfat anymore
limbs of a fitizen but a torso sculpted by nikocado avocado
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My gf and i live together, recently she has been spending all of our money on petty things and it’s getting incredibly out of hand. I wear lolita, but i’ve been super depressed to the point of being unable to respond to friends or even dress up. i haven’t bought myself something nice in a really long time because she is constantly buying new wigs, nails, or makeup when we have way more than we need. she overdrafts every week, and I feel like she’s so irresponsible with our money and it’s getting to the point where I can’t keep doing this with her. She makes me feel guilty for not making enough money when she makes double the money i do
>>
yesterday was a good day. I’m here to share some of my serotonin and dopamine with you gulls :]
>>
>>10689321
you’re probably going to freak out a bunch of lesbian gulls with shopping addiction when they read this post thinking it’s talking about them lmao
>>
>>10689264
Stop eating shitty, lift, and if you still have a unbudgeable pooch get lipo.
>>
>>10689250
Thank you anon <3 I'm sorry about that guy you liked, I hope it can work out one day with him or someone else.
>>
>>10688802
That sounds eerily similar to something that happened to me at my first con.
I was walking with my friends when suddenly one of them latches onto me for dear life and becomes unresponsive. Turns out the poor girl was deathly afraid of escalators, and her designated stair-buddy accidentally ran off ahead. She explained everything and apologized profusely after the ride, but I wasn’t about to complain anytime this century.

Thanks for unearthing that memory, anon. Here’s hoping we both find hugging partners soon.
>>
>buy a Baby bag secondhand in perfect condition
>bag starts cracking and peeling the first time I use it
FUCK
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>>10689368
Same happened to me. Fucking sucks, man
>>
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>>10689368
>>10689385
>Me with my taobao and normie bags that have lasted for years.
>>
>>10689321
>she overdrafts every week
If you don't have a separate bank account you need to make one right now, that she can't access, and doesn't know about, because fuck the idea of her taking you down with her out of control spending. Yes she probably needs professional help at this point if overdraft fees aren't enough to curb her spending, and no it's not just a "feeling" she's irresponsible because she absolutely is. If you're too depressed to sit down and have a serious talk with her about this, you should at the very least make your plan to get out of this shit because no one on this planet is worth digging yourself into financial troubles over. You should definitely not feel guilty about needing to take care of yourself first in this situation.
>>
>>10689421
>>10689321
What the other anon said. Please separate your finances. Moreover, you should definitely turn off overdraft spending ASAP so she can't do this shit anymore.
Don't let her drag you down with her inability to control spending. You really really need to have a sit down convo about this before it gets worse.
>>
>>10689421
this, she might be literally going through an episode - manic or whatever that cycle borderlines get. She is not in the right headspace if she keeps overdrafting her account on treats
>>
>>10686637
Those of you with full-time jobs, how do you manage finding time for your hobbies? I'm starting my first ever career and a lot of my weekend time is spent either preparing for the work week or doing low-energy activities (watching tv, etc) because that's all I have the energy for. I can feel my soul rotting away and I don't know how to spark the inspiration to use even more of my limited energy.
>>
>>10689687
God I relate to this
>>
>>10689687
I stopped working in-person full time jobs for this exact reason. Working from home is way less soul sucking imo
>>
>>10689687
once you get used to the routine you'll learn to put in the minimum amount of effort that's required for your job that way it won't be too draining.
>>
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I'm thinking about starving myself til I'm skinny, I hate being fat, I'm sick of it. I'm too anxious and insicure to go to the gym, I don't even like to leave the house. My life isn't worth living, I wish I could just end it.
>>
>>10689687
I enjoy my hobbies while I work. I've worked in call centers for years and while no calls are coming in I draw, read, and at certain places after 6pm all the higher ups are gone so everyone hangs out on their phones. At one place people just brought their tablets and laptops to watch movies and shows. Ever since covid I work from home doing the same thing. Been doing whatever I want with a wireless headset. On weekends I go out, and when I save up enough time off, I go out of the country.
>>
>>10689776
You don't have to go to the gym to work out. Buy some 10 lb weights from Amazon, do some push ups, squats, whatever. I don't like to go to the gym either so I bought weights and just work out while I'm watching youtube.
>>
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I saved up money for iron gate but every time a sugary carnival pops up i feel the need to blow my money on it. I could easily save up again.. but why.





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