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Anyone got any interesting workplace anecdotes - anything involving sperging out, HR nonsense and / or dramatic bust ups with management greatly appreciated as bedtime stories...
>>
Buddy of mine called my boss a fuckwad and didn't get fired.
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>>25948051
Why did he do that? What line of work?
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>>25947912
My boss made up a lie to try to intimidate me and get me to admit to something that I didn't do. I'm now completely fucking done with this company. Luckily, I'm leaving in 6 months. Will have enough experience that I can go someplace else. My company is a family owned, decayed company that will eventually become absorbed someone larger in the near future, so I really don't give a fuck.
>>
Spend 20 minutes of a 2 hour meeting each week listening to my thot coworker bitch about her husband's ex-wife
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My supervisor spilled coffee on a waiver that was to be handed in to management and didn't tell me. Then management got on my case as my waiver wasn't handed in on time. Exciting times I lead
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>>25947912
One of our welders tried to throw a wrench at an engineer but missed. The engineer had a tazer on him and tazed the guy.
>>
In general, anytime have stories of people "shitting where they eat", aka cheating on spouses with co workers? I got so many bitches i want to try and FUCK, but I'm worried they couldn't keep the relationships secret, it they'd start to try and be my significant other
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>>25947912
Some guy in procurement set up his own company and started sending invoices. Got multiple millions over several years. Somebody in the tax department finally caught it accidentally. Dude went to jail and we go back like 1/10 the the money. Turns out resale value on large boats is shit.
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>>25947912
Oh also some of our chemical engineers got in a spat and gave each other chemical burns.
>>
One of the people I work with talked about how they got billed $1200 for an x-ray by the same company we both now work for. It was fraudulent and escalating it to collections/attorney general would probably reveal the fact that they were fradulently making claims so they just waived the whole thing if he promised not to tell
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>>25948570
This is a very easy way to get Meetooooooed would advise against. ((HR)) will side with the girl everytime...
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>>25948562
>>25948588
And they say engineering isn’t exciting
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>>25948562
This is awesome
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>>25948562
I wish my job was this exciting. We have a tranny that works in our Accounting department though, so I guess that's something.
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>>25947912
I love these threads
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>>25947912
i WISH my wage cage looked like that and i had my own reasonable space. my work is all open plan hotdesking i.e. sharing one big cage with hundreds of wagies....absolutely disgusting.
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>>25948113
>Why did he do that?
Boss asked him to do overtime. My friend gets heated quickly and we aren't paid for overtime (on salary).
>What line of work?
State government. He's part of a union, so it's basically impossible for him to get fired.
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>>25948680
>I wish my job was this exciting
Those were really the only two stories of note I have from the 2-ish years I've been with my current company. Tradesmen here have awful tempers, idk why, and it leads to a lot of verbal arguments but those were the only two times I've seen them get violent. The welder and one of the chemical engineers got fired for that of course.
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>>25947912
>be me
>work at UPS
>some basketball american dropped a bucket of chicken feed on a belt
>it spilled all over the place.
>the absolute rancid smell of vomit 10x
>constantly retching the rest of the shift
>they tried their best to clean it
>impossible
>the smell of vomit was STILL there for years

oh and some rats went and died somewhere in the building, they could not find it for 2 weeks. the rotting smell was so bad through the entire fucking building.

fuck wage cucking man. please get me out.
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>>25947912
One of the distribution workers almost got run over when out on a job and yelled out "Nigger!". Got reported for racism and almost got fired except the union contested it and saved his job. HR then bent over the union and raped them rewriting the employee contract to instantly fire any employee for perceived racism circumventing any future union protections. Fun times in civil service.
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>>25947912
2019 Halloween
1 coworker arguing with another on why she didnt help put up the holloween decoration with here. This went on for like 15 min then it escalated to "IM NOT YOUR BOSS YOU CANT MAKE ME GET YOU A COPY."

Was like my 3 week working there LOL
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>>25948149
What was the lie?
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I'm a kitchen manager and I ask all my new hires to either go upstairs and ask the general manager for a left-handed screwdriver or sending them downstairs to get me a bucket of steam
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>>25947912
Psychiatric Pharmacist here. Basically get paid 6 figures to deal out drugs to schizos
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>>25948834
Always funnier witnessing that shit when you're the new guy...
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>>25948987
being a pharmacist seems cozy as fuck. you just got to sling drugs all day and let CPhTs do all the dirty work for you. The fucking years of chemistry pretty much turned me off that path but god damn it just sounds like a fucking chill time
>>
I just started working in IT for this small company and found out this company is not in compliance with about a million data privacy and consumer protection FFIEC regulations
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>>25948796
Oh wait actually I have a good one:
>Had a co-worker that worked for the company for a little over 3 years.
>Over the course of 1 year, I watched him slowly stop giving a fuck and just stopped doing anything.
>After being at the company almost 2 years, I now understand that it's because the company does not give a fuck about us and our boss is a bitch ass that was bullied in school, so now he has a taste of power for the first time in his life and uses it to abuse his subordinates.
>Co-worker finds a new job and calls our boss to put in his two weeks.
>Boss is so pissed off that he didn't get the satisfaction of firing my co-worker, so he passive aggressively makes some shitty comment to him over the phone instead of wishing him well and letting him leave.
>They get into an argument. Co-worker calls him passive agressive. Boss tells him "you wouldn't have gone that far at this company anyway".
>Co-worker threatens to meet my boss outside of work and beat his ass.
>Boss hangs up the phone like the little bitch that he is. Tells my other manager about it.
>They bring him in and basically fire him without letting him finish out the two weeks.
>Boss makes up a story that he left early on his own but we all know what really happened.
You can see why I can't wait to leave this fucking place.
>>
Guy got fired for carrying a handgun on him at work. He had apparently done so for 1.5 years and no one ever noticed that didn't work near him. When those people were asked about it, they all said he was the guy you would want carrying of something were to go down.
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>>25948562
thats a comedy sketch right there
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>>25949086
What field are you in?
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>>25949135
Some Three Stooges shit
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>>25949145
Soft drink distribution.
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>>25947912
that image and this thread made me realize i have actual PTSD from working in an open plan office
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Sure.

When I was younger my boss had sex with a coworker. His gf had come up and he introduced her to us all, whole time he was banging the colleague. He ended up getting her pregnant, moving and they both work together now.

Sleeping with coworkers is easy, but would not advise. I've also fucked a superior, but she was not my direct boss.

>>25949071
Mine too. I see all your passwords, but what can you expect when Rakesh makes the system
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>>25949043
Cozy asf man. Ironically I barely do any chem shit, closest things really are just metrics and the occasional molarity whatnot for injections
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>>25948562
Dumbfuck MechE btfo by the EE masterrace, based
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>>25948804
salute to a fellow wagecuck
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>>25947912
I worked as a software dev intern and had a hot student receptionist with a massive ass. I was too autistic to talk to her, but I planted a phone in the break room and got some upskirt photos of her cunny. I remember my heart racing waiting for her to leave so I could grab the phone and check that I got them. As soon as I got it I ran to the bathroom, went into the stall to fapped and coomed
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>>25949306
MechEs are savages
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>>25947912
I was 24yrs and had mustered up the courage to go to a nightclub all alone. This particular club is your typical alelectronic dance club. All the cool songs are playing, and the DJ looked like he was in training to be the next marshmello.

This club was packed with frat guys, sorority girls, hypebeast wearing all kinds of weird shoes, and tall black guys that looked like various versions of rappers and preppy rich kids.

At the time, I was so scared that I actually ran into the smelly dingy bathroom stalls and cried a little. I really wanted to go home. I didn't want to be there at all, and hated myself for even thinking this was a good idea.
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>>25949380
jacking off at work is the danger zone
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>>25949306
did u just call a welder an ME, or am i comprehending this incorrectly?
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>>25949120
similar to my job. someone had been bringin a gun to work every day for years. one day they got caught. now every fucking shift 300 people have to get funneled through a security gate so Shaniqua and Unbamowa the nigerian can wand you down.

no one more entitled than a black woman cutting the line to get to work, and to leave. Cutting everybody and screaming at the nigerion "CUB ONNNNa NIGGGUUUUUUUUH I GOSTA CATCH THE BUS!!! HURRY UP GIMMIE MY PHONE NIGGA"
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>>25949414

what does this have to do with waging?
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>>25949459
he cried dude, let him share his faggot story
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>>25949431
that vid never gets old lmao
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>>25949306
No no I'm a MechE. He was a welder. You know, the kind that welds things together. The guy with the tazer was actually a CivilE.
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I thought to myself "ok, look I'll just take one shot of something and leave..I have work anyways in the morning"

I walked out and noticed this one particular girl standing in the middle of the dance floor alone. A small crowd kind of formed around her as everyone just watched her. She was easily a solid 10 - atleast to me.
Naturally tanned olived skin, reddish brown hair, and deep green eyes.

She just looked down and had this innocent look on her face. I was hypnotize and I don't know why but naturally I just walked up to her and asked if she would like to dance. I felt like I was about to collapse. My heart was pounding out of my chest, and despite all that she agreed, she said yes.

I was shocked, happy, nervous, skeptical - I legitematily went through an entire 4yr bitcoin cycle in the span of 30secs.
So I figured I'd just pretend im ryan gosling and danced as best I could. I got pretty close to her and tried my best to look seductively. I felt like a retard thinking what my face my look like

Here's the part I'll never forget.
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>>25949431

Based
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>>25949651
If you try to dinosaur us I will find and kill you.
>>
>banter with this warehouse black co-worker numerous times
>he forgets his card swipe one day and and has to go right behind thru the gate
>i jokingly say "i usually don't like black guys behind me"
>he gives me a weird look, i think nothing of it
>next day i see him and say "look at this handsome black man :)" trying to gee him up in a depressing work environment
>he snaps and says "are you being racist, what was with that joke yesterday?"
>i sperg out and say "if you think im being racist don't fucking talk to me"
>manager hears me yelling and brings me into the office, i explain everything and she laughs at the jokes i made
>i quit the wagie warehouse
>>
>co-founder is a white woman
>she got preggo like a little bitch
>she pumps out her baby like a unit
>she keeps posting her stupid fucking baby pics on slack
>of course, NPC co-workers feel pressure to like and comment on the gay baby
>>
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Not me but my GF

>Has been at her firm for 10 years, since she was a cadet
>Never done less than a 50 hour week, almost always doing weekend OT, lots of travel
>Has risen the ranks, and done well for herself but pretty burned out
>Has been upfront about not wanting to stay forever, wanted to try new opportunities
>Takes a new job, minor pay cut but a horizontal move into an area she wants to get into
>Instead of wishing her well boomer manager calls her an entitled millenial with no loyalty
>Harpy exec lady calls her and says shes setting women back and called her a ladder climber
>She has made the firm millions and never had a bad review

These corporate Koolaid drinkers are fucking snakes
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>>25949935
why can't you just let people be happy ?
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>>25949932
Don't you love how Black people are so fucked up that they need to ask you if you're being racist?
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>>25947912
>be 22 introvert borderline autistic white dude that gets new job as repair man at company
>big booby blonde DDD milf boss easily 8/10
>we talk a little day 1 and she mentions she’s got kiddos and is going through a divorce
>fast forward a couple uneventful weeks, she texts me after work that she could use a drink
> I don’t drink alcohol but i add in that I could use a Red Bull to try to play it off like I have any idea what that must be like to drink
>she tells me that bar xyz has red bulls
>1 Charisma: I go for it and flat out tell her I’m attracted to her and I want to take her there as a date
>crit success it works she says she likes me too
>I take a bunch of caffeine before I go and practice what I’m gonna say in my head a bunch to try to play it off like Im confident and actually talk to women
>it kinda works and we actually converse
>end up kissing her
>Having no idea what’s going on, I immediately catch feelings as time passes
>eventually plow her once, 10/10 best sex in my life, she screamed a lot so I think she liked it too, probably due to the forbidden aspect of it combined with dominating someone that’s supposed to be in charge of me
>at this point I foolishly believe there’s a chance at us actually ending up being in a relationship
>a few weeks later she ghosts me, which is stupid as fuck since I literally work for her and see her constantly every day
>realize I’ve been duped like the socially inept snail that I am, she just wanted to fuck and not date. She’s just been lying this whole time to string me along
>tell everyone I work with all of the depraved things I’ve done to that harlot and quit my job
Fuck u Debra u broke my heart u heartless bitch
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>>25949935
>stupid fucking baby pics
>gay baby
the way that this is worded is so fucking funny. Please be more positive for your own sake anon :)
>>
I got fired from my workplace for learning to write smart contracts at the work pc. I used my spare time and lunch breaks, never did it during the job, it never hindered my performance.

I now develop smart contracts and earn six figures. I remember the CEO came from like 300 miles away specifically to see me. He wanted to get rid of me in a way which would leave a permanent negative mark on me, but i wouldn't sign the paper he threw at me. Something about me purpously destroying the computer (it was fine btw) and doing illegal things etc.

After about an hour he accepted my "willful" regisgnation instead.
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>>25950002
Why can't you stop being a faggot?
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>>25947912
My boss wrote me up breaking a riding lawn mower even though it was a piece of shit. He ended up quitting the next day because he threatened to fight a customer
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>>25948570
This. Bitches catch feelings. Why can't they just be bros and fuck on the side?
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>>25948453
you should fapp during that call, should make it about even
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>>25949414
Are you white?
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>>25947912
the best thing I got is when I upper deckered the executive toilet while talking about how I'm holding BOND. that was like 2 weeks ago. blamed it on the new guy
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>>25950055

Based and sad
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>>25950042
I'm from AU where everything is more relaxed, can't imagine NA
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>>25950055
Uniroically sad :(
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>>25948570

Yeah, a friend had the strange scenario:

>Boss
>Mentor
>Co-Worker

Boss was dating her mentor, and cheating on the Mentor with the Co-Worker, and basically sabotaging her work as well, whole thing exploded and they all got fired kek
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>>25950002
>why can't you just let people be happy?
Imagine being gay and having an annoying family friend that won't stop sending group messages to you and your relatives of her fucking grandkids. I can't have natural children of my own with the person I love. How do you think that makes me feel? And she knows that I'm gay and she just does it anyway. Fuck off.
>>
I turn around and I see what felt like the entire club staring at me.
The frat guys standing in the vip section gave me this "you fucking faggot" look. This one group of black guys pointed at me, whispered to each other and they all started laughing. I don't even know why, to this day they laughed so had.

It was then that the pressure was to much and I just wanted to get out. I asked her if she wanted to bounce back to my place, since I live about 5mins walking distance to the club & campus.
I mentioned something about work in the morning(I start at 5am at the call center). She agreed but said something about letting her friends know. I told her okay I'll be at the bar. She left, and I sprinted to the bar to order myself a shot of whatever they have. I don't know much about drinks but whatever they gave me was strong.

I waited and she didn't show up, but I ordered myself another shot. 10mins passed, and I buy myself another shot. I can smell sweat and heavy perfume (the kind hookers wear for 80roses) I evenutally walk out after 20mins.

And she's there waiting for me under the streetlight just outside the entrance.
>>
>>25950067
>the way that this is worded is so fucking funny. Please be more positive for your own sake anon :)

I am positive, I just worded it funny for your entertainment.
>>
I used to work in residential construction as an asst. superintendent. One of the neighborhoods we worked on had a shit ton of kids running around everywhere, probably catholic or mormon neighbors, doesn't matter. We lost track of one of our siding guys for about 20 mins. Mexicans eat like shit so it's common for them to spend gratuitous amounts of time in the port-o-shitters. After about 45 mins the other siding finisher is complaining that his coworker is gone and is having to work alone, so we go searching. The site super hears faint crying ~20 houses down the road from where he was supposed to be working, opens it up to find this motherfucker fingering this poor girl (maybe 7 or 8 years old). Apparently we weren't so good at screening former felons. The super (350lbs beast) blacked out and grabbed that burritonigger by the back of his neck and like swinging an entry ram, tosses him into the nearby retention pond. Super puts the kid in his truck, then proceeds to walk down into retention pond and repeatedly slams beancoon's head against a bowling ball sized rock at the pond's edge. Took me and the construction cleanup guys to pull him back from killing the fucker, although it was deserved. Pedo was vegetative for a week before family pulled the plug. Super was hailed as a hero in that neighborhood, though he says he doesn't remember anything after opening the shitter door. Best dude I've worked for.
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>>25947912
I just started a new job working from home. No commute is awesome, and I don’t have to worry about people sitting next to me in the stall while I shit. I also have a home gym so I can work out on the clock. And I have my desk next to a window so the sun warms my face on the frosted winter mornings.
I actually woke up scared as fuck thinking I slept in because it was light outside. I used to get up 1.5 hours earlier and it was always dark.
Stay comfy bros
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>>25948570
You’re disgusting
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>>25950142
>>25950184
Thanks frens, that was 1+ year ago, I happened to add her back on Snapchat last month while I was thinking with the other head, apparently she’s completely overlooked me getting her fired from that job and then out of the blue she tells me she wants to get together again and sends me all of these nude photo shoots she’s done.. like I can’t make this shit up, like full on third person photos of the boobies and such (which is actually a huge turn off for me, why the hell would I want a photo of a woman taken by another dude)? But whatever.

Nothing really happened after that since she has the attention span of a fucking fish, we’d talk for awhile then she’d just stop responding , talk some more another day and stop responding ect ect, eventually I had enough of it and just removed her again
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>>25950319
Nice blockposting bro. Didn’t read
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>>25949935
More stories? But not as funny

>1 co-worker is a young white cunt from America
>she looks like a young Karen, probably has 2-3 cats
>she gets bullied by a client via email
>she tells people on slack that no man is going to push her around
>she looks like she wanna cry during zoom call
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>>25950396
Sounds very comfy, what do you do?
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>>25950319
Your boss is lucky that guy died in a coma and couldn't talk or he would've been fucked.
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>>25947912
I work in a car dealership as an accountant.

>Sales manager had sex with the receptionist and an accounting clerk - fired
>Our dealership group got infected by a virus because an old guy in a parts department downloaded porn- fired
>Sales lady has a youtube channel about veganism, made a video how guys tell her that her pussy smells - left a year later
>Sales lady disappeared, come back with her head shaved, said she became a lesbian, said shes going to become Miss Canada, and asked for her job back
>>
>>25950231
Sorry about your mental illness.

Why should she be sensitive over that? Wow you're a fucking selfish fool LOL
>>
>>25948972
fuck you when I started working at my first restaurant job they made me get a buvket of steam AT THE NEIGHBORING RESTAURANT
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>>25947912
I don’t have any chimp out stories, most the wage slave experience revolves around dealing with shitty, lazy, and incompetent peers and management.

I worked at a restaurant and sometimes the customers would chimp a bit if food took too long.
>>
I run a small business, managing stupid people is sucking the soul out of me. Spent an entire afternoon going through a new chemical process with this guy, all super easy, showing him exactly what to do. Tell him never add chemical A unless he asks me first, he doesn’t need to add it, he only needs to top up with chemical B. I spend significant time imparting how important it is to only add B, not A, and the reasons why.

Next day - he adds A. Was he even fucking paying attention? Can he genuinely not remember what I told him?

Another guy is Eastern European and pretends to understand English but I suspect he actually can’t. I explain something to him 3 times, each progressively slower and more simple as I see the confusion building in his face. He repeats it back to me after I ask him if he understands - gets it totally fucking wrong. Another guy is retirement age and been there for 3 decades when my dad was in charge. He’s actually really reliable..kind of. It’s just he’s like a robot whose programming can’t be changed, which is a problem in a changing office environment with emails and computers etc.

I hate managing people and the stress is making me ill. It’s hugely profitable but we are going to be driven out by newer companies entering the space and producing to a much higher standard with better setups.

I just want to make it this bull run so I can sell it and spend the rest of my days doing hobbies and relaxing on land that I own.
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>>25950418
>you could read it
go back
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>>25950055
Very based for fucking the milf, hope you find someone worth your loyalty anon
>>
>company founded by white American millennials
>being white and lame, they make us single happy birthday during the zoom call
>they make us wear a hat for "hat friday" zoom calls

Yeah, white people are lame and gay
>>
>>25950406

This is weird. I'd say, your feelings messed with you but in the end, you dodged a bullet.
At best, she could be a "from time to time fuck friend".
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>>25950426
Some temporary data entry job. I did t even have to interview and only trained for two days and they sent me home with a laptop and monitor
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>>25950231
lol fag
>>
>>25949935
Someone should tell the cunt white that her baby is gay and ugly.
>>
>>25949935
Women in the workplace was a mistake. Some are good but the majority are lazy and want to gossip the whole time.
>>
>>25949380
kek
>>
She didn't really say much of anything walking back to my place. Just that her dad was an exec for some company in charleston and that she like bobs burgers. Apparently her dad met her mom at a strip club in new orleans while traveling.
I was still really nervous but very happy, so I started rambling about all kinds of stuff.
My favorite anime, how I build computers for fun, my major and random facts like how gold prices are undervalued at the present moment.

She didn't really say anything, and as we got to my place I figured we'd just order pizza and wings and watch a movie. Well all that changed when she asked if I had any alcohol, and I told her I don't but maybe my roommate?
So she goes into the fridge and brings out a bottle of absolut vodka and tropicana. I'm thinking to myself "wow my roommate is going to be pissed" but I didn't care - she's incredibly out of my leauge. "be like gosling..be cool calm and seductive" My hands start to sweat as I don't remember if I still had my computer set to reopened closed windows. I knew my room was an absolute mess, but if the hentai popped up I would have cried.

So I chugged the vodka and almost threw up on the spot because the taste was so rancid. She looked at me and said "um are you ok?" and I replied "no im sexy" and she bursted out laughing - hard.
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>>25949935
Basic white bitches love to over share. Someone tell her that her baby isn't special.
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>>25950447
Sorry about your average life.
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>>25950231
> and they don’t even send me pictures of their families anymore just because they know I’m gay!!!
Can’t win with you gays.
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>>25950695
Women are like niggers. They're there but they don't do much work.
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>>25950319
Did the super ever get charged with anything?
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>>25949982
>These corporate Koolaid drinkers are fucking snakes

They use their words as soft power, those little niggers
>>
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>>25950607
Feels comfy right Anon?, less stress, less drama from co workers, own restroom. My plan with all the money I am saving on commute, food and other things keep investing in Crypto/Stonks. I can legit feel in my heart I am going to make it by the end of this year. Also gf comes over on lunch time i bust a quick nut sometimes. I been doing push ups in between meetings. There are days where I do not feel like home waging but I cant bitch, this is a blessing.
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>>25950319

holy shit
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>>25947912
>signed up for office job w/ census bureau
>not bad, $32/hr and 40 hrs/week, eezy peezy money
>go to work first day, it's full of faggot boomers and women
>the women are intolerable, behave like they're gods gift to man
>one bitch literally tells me during orientation "i have a masters degree, you WILL respect me"
>wtf.jpeg
>decide to just fuck off for the rest of the day, get my daily wagies, and quit on them later
>but my state decides to shut down everything the same day
>mfw, the next day i get a call from the same masters degree bitch who tells me the office is shut down for now but we will continue to get paid
>get paid full wagies for 3 months, nearly 10K for doing absolutely NOTHING

3 months later

>office opens back up
>old boomers are terrified of the virus and don't want to return
>short staffed as fuck
>masters degree cunt calls me, leaving 10s of voicemails, begging for me to return
>blocked her number and email

feelsgoodman
>>
She said "you are such a weenie but a cute one" I blurted out, "So are you from 1965? who says weenie?" this kind of crap talking banter goes on for a few minutes and anyways to make a long story short. We evenutally hooked up in the kitchen. We passed out on my bed and my alarm clock started to ring at 4am.

I had to go to work. She pulled me back into bed saying "please don't go" but I told her I have to go and called her a cab home as im getting dressed. It felt so good waking up with a girl next to you, felt like a king and it just hit me then <b> what is so important, that I have to get up at 4'o clock in the morining?</b> I keep thinking to myself (why do I have to go to work?) the air felt so good, the moment was pure bliss. I was so fucking happy, but the alarm kept ringing "TIME FOR WORK"
>>
>>25950811
Nope. Pedobean's coworker called the amberlamps shortly after it happened. Cops showed up an hour later to take statements from everyone on the crew and anyone nearby. coworker didn't see it so he couldn't make a statement. I took the super to lunch til things calmed down, we never gave a statement either. None of the crew, neighbors, or the kid's parents said anything of implicative value. The kid only said that the vegetable "touched my privates". So from the cops' perspective, and lack of video footage and statements, that the kid did the beating lol. No charges, justice served well. Last I heard, the super regularly attends holidays with the family, as he has no close family. Most wholesome experience of my life thus far.
>>
>>25951083
Based and localcommunitypilled
>>
>>25951049
I know that feel man. Work can wait sometimes, life is more important.
>>
>>25947912
>banking
>worked with this guy who quit his high pay high stress job to have an easier entry tier job
>recently divorced
>there's a new manager
>carbon copy of his ex wife
>he hates her fucking guts day one
>couldn't adjust to being at the bottom of the pile again
>gets really lazy and bad at his job
>FF, suddenly really committed, suddenly OK with the management
>doesn't take any days off
In banking this is a red flag
>Eventually convince him to take a vacation day
>this is when we audit people
>he was taking hunnies out of the straps and replacing them with singles
>whole branch gets audited
>it wasn't just a few hunnies
>exploited a debugging feature in our cash management to make unilateral transfers ie arbitrarily adjusting the computer's record of balances which is normally not possible
>tens of thousands
>never came back from vacation
>>
>>25951046
And this is why gov workers are the biggest leeching niggers
>>
>>25950468
Sounds like you need to hire a manager
>>
>>25951183
He's still in vacation ... in jail.
>>
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>>25950319
10/10 story
>>
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>>25947912
>Let's circle back to that item later, it seems out of scope
>I added Bill's team to the weekly meeting, I'm hoping to leverage some synergy between groups if we focus on our core competencies
>We can touch base during tomorrow's standup, give you some time to get the lay of the land
>I want to highlight our value add and show that this is a win-win
>I'm feeling out of the loop here, when was the last time Frank ran the numbers?
>Brandon is going to do a deep dive into the data and perform a drill down into our key customer segments
>This initiative is really going to move the needle on our top KPI's
>We can already make this a game changer by taking care of some low hanging fruit
>Let's take that offline, ping me when you know you'll be available
>We're not trying to boil the ocean here, our north star hasn't changed
>>
>>25948804
get a degree dumbfuck
>>
>>25951183
He never got charged?
>>
As I'm driving on the high way im still thinking to myself (why do I have to do this?) I badge myself into the building.(What is so important that I have to be up at 4am?) and when I put my headset on a loud bleep comes through-instant ringing noise(what the hell...) and then a customer. WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CHARGE MY ACCOUNT WHEN I PAID YOU LAST WEEK. I'm fumbling since i can barely get my systems up "um sir..wait um can you please provide me your first and." NO YOU ARE SO GODDAMN RETARDED THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THAT I AM ACTUALLY OWED AN ACCOUNT CREDIT "sir I understand but first can you please provide me your...and for the next 25mins I'm listening to a guy screaming am at me because he didn't know the difference between account credits and debits.{ I'm getting pissed but I'm trying to stay calm.}
>>
My manager tells me "do me a favor, after that call meet me in conference room..I want to speak to you about something". Apparently my last survey was a 98.4% and not a 98.5 so I will be put on a disciplinary action plan with coaching to meet the monthly target. {I am pissed at this point - as the survey wasnt even about me but the company itself} I go back to the phones and spend the rest of the day listening to people tell me how much of a piece of shit I am. I see the email about everyone's 25 cent raises being denied this year(base pay is $18.75. I see several emails about my 98.4% survey coming in from every manager above and 4 managers that I have never talked to. I check my pay and see that I wasnt paid for my overtime hours week prior. A co worker who wears a tie with bright short sleeve shirts walks up to me and tells me he can help bump my score and then sits down to go over a list of phrases he uses on every call. "I would love to help you - you matter so much to me, its been a pleasure serving you, thank you for calling on this spectular day" theres about 100 phrases we go over. He then made a copy, laminated it and suggest I study this during my freetime. All of this happened before 6:45ish am. - I knew it was around that time because you can't eat at your desk and the cafeteria isnt opened until 8.
>>
>>25951183
What software did you guys use? Merlin?

I was in banking as well, and as you might know everything is handled in "twos" with keys to access most shit. If you are ever separated, you can get written up or terminated. Obviously, people end up being relaxed and sometimes step away from eachother for a couple seconds out of convenience when doing high risk work.

Well, after auditing the vault in dual, 30k went missing for the next morning opening vault audit. We knew who it was of the two, but there is 0 proof to charge her because there aren't cameras INSIDE the vault, only everywhere else.

She was later fired over some trivial shit just to get rid of her, but never charged with stealing the 30k aka 3 stacks of new hundreds.
>>
>>25951215
don't hate the player
>>
>>25951480
I’m edging, keep going
>>
>>25950904
If you hold Statera, you def will make it this year. How large is your stack though?
>>
>>25949225
Lmao
>>
>>25949932
What kind of faggot cuck shit is this Jesus Christ please tell me this is fake
>>
>>25949418
what are you worried about, someone gonna bash the stall door in?

>>25949647
round these parts we call 'em CivEs, fren

>>25950231
>everyone needs to act in the way that would make ME the happiest even if their actions aren't directed at me at all!!!!!

ok fag

>>25950260
this is gonna dinosaur

I can fucking feel it

>>25950517
god I fucking hate shit like this. If I'm on a zoom call my one singular goal is to click Leave as fast as possible

>>25950741
>dinosaur radar intensifies

>>25951049
>di
>no
>saur

>>25951480
ok actually dinosaur is kind of de-tensifying rn.
>>
>>25949935
Lmao
>>
>>25950319
Nice
>>
>>25950319
at least he got to feel some cunny before he died. RIP based pedo
>>
>>25950231
Go to therapy and then maybe you can find a nice woman.
>>
>>25948582
this is cool
he should have made it look like someone else was doing it

>>25949071
IT here
I know my bosses passwords because he can't remember them
I think it's my job now

>>25949418
I pissed in the kitchen sink at work in a high rise when they were working on the bathroom during a weekend

>>25950695
based


OK back to the guy I remember passwords for
(I work for an investment firm)
The owner got conned out of $250k in an email
He thought a customer emailed requesting wires (this customer does that a lot, he's owner of a business some of you might have heard of)
Anyway, turns out the customer has had his emails comprimised, and the scammer setup an almost identical email account
OK, we're supposed to have checks and balances for this, verbal verification of wires
Boss/owner said he did this
Boss/owner paid back the company the $250k that he got scammed out of

this thread is cathartic
>>
>>25948570
i did this with 3 different girls until it blew up in my face. don't do it bro not worth it. can't believe i didn't lose my job.
>>
>>25951901
>he can't remember them
imagine being so rich you have other people remember your password for you
>>
>>25949418
i did this when i was a late teen and couldn't contain my hormones lol
>>
>>25948972
KEK
>>
>>25949935
Hey Kathleen, nobody cares about your gay nigger baby.
>>
>>25950396
You too fren
>>
>>25950165
Yeah you're the reason our country is fucked, go back to the aus/pol threads. Fucking retard.
>>
Yeah, here's two for you OP. I worked in a team of just 4 people doing energy management (BMS) for a very high priority client; I won't say who but it was of national security + national infrastructure level. Between the four of us we had to cover 24/7, 365 days, and the pay was really as minimal as they could get away with. The team leader quit, leaving us as 3, but one of the other 2 guys was a literal autist tranny-wannabe who was lazy as fuck. He'd never cover any of the new time we needed covered, he'd always work the night shift and just fucking sleep at his desk, and he would do shit like come in at 12:01am of the new year and book all the desirable holidays for the year, etc. Fucking hated him. Anyway, one night I got really drunk and very stupidly posted an anti-trans rant on the facebook. I thought I had deleted it, but I was so drunk, I only deleted one of the secondary posts, and not the whole thing. He fucking printed the whole thing out and gave it to HR. It was clear the company didn't want to do anything, and they definitely couldn't afford to lose me, but he pushed them and complained and cried every day for months about it, and eventually threatened to tell the local newspaper if they didn't take any action. They told me they basically had no choice but to fire me. I was devastated at first because the field was very interesting and I had learned so much niché technical knowledge that was now just taking up dead space in my brain. But it turned out to be a huge blessing in disguise. I now work in a far more interesting field (quantum) on a significantly higher wage at a significantly better company thanks to working my way up from a generic admin role as a temp, more cont..
>>
>>25952573
After this firing, I had to start low in this new job, so I joined with 200 other temps in a generic admin role. Most of them were retards, so it wasn't long until I got singled out as proficient and promoted into the most prestige department. Anyway, there was this woman among the temps who landed in my team who was like +15yrs older than me and was going through a divorce, and her husband was always sending her shitty texts and emails about the legal happenings of the house sale. To deal with this she'd spend most of the day talking about how many countless guys she had fucked through dating apps when the divorce was first declared, and how much she loves her new boyfriend and would never cheat on him, etc. This sort of shit is peak degeneracy in my eyes, and at first I really just wished she'd stop talking about it. But after going for group drinks after work a number of times, I started to see that she was actually really well educated and very chill. She also had HUGE tits that were just an unavoidable fucking cock magnet, and she'd always be making jokes about them and shit. After a while we became good friends and started to bail on these group drinks to go and drink somewhere else, just the two of us. Whenever she got a little drunk she'd still talk about all her sexual partners, but it was increasingly and increasingly about how much she loves giving blowjobs and how good she is at it. I caved eventually and took the hint and offered to invite her back to mine one day instead of the bar. From then on it was the best blowjob I've ever had, every single day after work, for like 4 months. She'd occasionally mention her new boyfriend and how she felt bad for cheating on him, but it didn't stop her, and how this couldn't happen forever, etc, but at the time; there was no end in sight. Unfortunately COVID hit and she used it as her way out, I've only spoken to her like twice in the past year, and haven't seen her once. Shrug.
>>
>>25948149
> I’m fucking done
> in six months
shoo shoo back to your cube
>>
>>25950055

thx for sharing ur wank fantasy with us
>>
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>>25952973
fuck man, wheres my milf blowjobber
>>
>>25948570
At the very least have zero social media connections but the ultimate big brain is to have zero social media or just a LARP account
>>
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>>25948972
>>25950448
fucking lol
>>
>>25948570
My gf was being abused by her husband so cheated on him with me and we've been together for almost 2 years now. I used to fuck her in the shower room at work before the office opened
>>
>>25951480
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT ANON I GOTTA KNOW!!!!
>>
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>>25950468
>Another guy is Eastern European and pretends to understand English but I suspect he actually can’t. I explain something to him 3 times, each progressively slower and more simple as I see the confusion building in his face. He repeats it back to me after I ask him if he understands - gets it totally fucking wrong.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=puJePACBoIo
>>
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Geek Squad In-Store Agent in past lif
>Lady put monitor on desk "My modem is broken!"
>Desktop background that alternates between trucks and porn
>"IT's AN HP PAVER-LAWN"
>Degen cig smokers bring in their fur covered PC's I have take apart, fuck them
>"I have the program that puts viruses in your machine – Norton?"
>Redneck throws a 5 dollar bill on floor "oops" so I'll fix his porn filled PC without checking him in
>"The floppy and CD-ROM don’t get energized."
>"The registry is like 14 pages or so. Right?"
>>
>>25948149
why don't you leave now?
>>
>>25950442
Seems like the Hollywood kikes should do shows about car dealerships instead of office places
>>
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I didn't speak to anyone at work for six months, growing increasingly anxious about how I wasn't talking to anyone, and then my boss yelled at me and fired me haha
>>
> Be me, intern in a small company
> My boss quits
> The company goes to a retreat on the seaside
> Drinking alcohol ensues
> My dormer boss is drunk aas fuck
> Goes to the bedroom of his former associate that he hated and peed in his suitcase

That was fucking based
>>
Worked various IT support jobs (you know, the "have you tried turning it off and on again" type)
I made the switch from my first job to second job because it was closer. But I went from huge company to a small company of like 20 where the owner managed everything. Worst decision of my life. First I thought I didn't want to be a number, but being a number is pure bliss. Got a few highlights if interested.

>be me
>start working at new job
>am good enough with computers to do it blindfolded, help out people
>basically our job is the IT of other companies
>various calls and tickets each day
>I do all my work and tickets as if it's nothing, watch Twitch or shitpost on 4chan all day on the second screen
>coworkers all seething at the fact that I do non-work stuff and still do a good enough job
>shake-up at work, we get a "teamlead"
>he is crap at his job because he is forced to do it, the guy just wants to do networking and play around with switches
>I get reprimanded for "slacking" even though I'm basically the face of the IT support, every client loves me and I'm doing a great job calming customers down when the boss does a fuckup or if shit is just trash
>after a year it's obvious that I am the support, boss makes me the teamlead instead
>I do nothing different. Still Twitch and 4chan all day
>coworkers still seethe
>networking guy (old teamlead) who didn't want the job feels slighted and can't cope with the fact that I got the job and I'm being an actual manager while still not giving a fuck
>posts firewall logs and gets me on the boss's radar
>boss calls in a meeting, shows up with printed firewall logs "what is Twitch? what is discord? what is imgur?"
>ask what all of it matters, I do my job and everything is going well, who cares? At this point I was doing it for 3 years and not doing anything differently. You need to do that kind of shit if you want to not go insane from giving support.
>he blocks everything and I quit
Never been happier.
>>
>>25948796
Haha Aus right? Tradies are fucking subhumans, disgusting that they can earn as much money as they do.
>>
>>25955210
at my it help job you can do this and the boss walks over and talks about what youre reading. 0 fucks given just do better then others, and IT is easy.

the better you are the less rules that apply, not officially, but its pretty obvious

the pay is okay
>>
>>25956006
how do i get into IT? I really want this life
>>
>>25954607
>Fur covered pc wut
>>
If you're autistic you can get away with anything. If you're applying for a job and they have a diversity section, say you're gay so they don't prejudice against you.
>>
>>25954020
I mean to be fair I’m not willing to dox myself to prove it, screenshoting our Snapchat covos would be super awkward too since I do want to fuck her again eventually but believe it or not men do have sex with women on some occasions
>>
>>25948562
That's fucking hilarious, but tradecraft isn't wagie work
>>
>>25949935
>she keeps posting her stupid fucking baby pics on slack
Wtf
>>
>>25954523

Implying she wasn't just a slut roastie. She will do the same to you anon, her husband was probably a nice guy. Degenerate is as degenerate does.
>>
Some really autistic power tripping Japanese dude with a rich daddy (who was mates with the MD) was handed a managerial position three months after being transferred to our UK branch of Panasonic.
A marketing supervisor that had been working in the company for 40 years, since before autistic Jap guy was born, rubbed him up the wrong way, and he proceeded to make her redundant in a department "shake up".

Fuck companies, seriously.
>>
>>25956360
Got a sexy pic of her?
>>
>>25950319
I couldn't read this block of text
>>
>>25956140
my advise is start out in the lowest of the lowest tech support job (but in a respectable company) and work your way up. That way you don't need any formal education and still get in by merit and a good intake call. Once in that shit tier position, you try and find out what the shittiest job is in your shit job. Like, in IT it's all different, nothing is the same.. And there are certain stuff no-one else wants to do. You go and do that and you become good at it. You make that your bitch. That way, you stand out. Once you stand out, higher ups know who you are somewhat and chances are you've been in contact with them. That's when you wait for an opening in a higher tier function and you apply for it.

Sure, it sounds fairy-tale but this worked for me and I can name 20+ other people this exact scenario applied to. At this point in my career I don't even do support anymore, I need to get certs and have technical expertise but that's it. I'm in a customer call right now where I just set the call up and let someone from the vendor speak, I just made the introductions and I'll say goodbye.

IT is the wagie dream. The first 5 years are hell for sure... But after that, if you play your cards right.... Who knows.
>>
>>25950442
What's it like working with scum?
>>
>>25954321
same
>>
>>25950494
I’m an oldfag, walls of text give me a headache.
Cunts like you make insecure faggots use no paragraphs in fear of being called a Redditer
>>
>>25947912
>be anon, at work
>need to take a shit
>cool the bathroom is empty, hit up end stall
>it's coming out slow, need to eat more fiber
>playing shitty F2P games on your phone
>feet enter the stall next door
>it's a pair of sandals
>dark brown skin
>you try to hurry up and finish before he gets started, but it's too late
>OHH
>I'M GONNA
>OOOOOOHHHH
>I'M GONNA
>PPFFFFBBBBBBBBBBBBBBT
>SPLATTER
>smell of spicy curry shit fills the bathroom
>POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFTTT
>it sounds like a torrent of liquid shit is shooting out of your neighbor's ass
>you try not to breathe through your nose
>breathe through your mouth instead
>bad choice
>you can almost taste it
>you finally finish up and escape the bathroom
>your eyes are watering
>you check your watch, 9:30 AM
>definitely gonna have to shit again before the end of the day
>steady stream of Pajeets entering the stalls ensures the stink cloud will reach steady state and be waiting for you all day
>>
Ive been WFH I literally dont have any stories
except a couple of years back I went into the office and hit on a hot coworker of mine. she told me its not a good idea and we never mentioned it again. I honestly got lucky she was cool about it couldve gotten metoo'd I guess
>>
Wasted a full year sitting around doing absolutely nothing waiting for work to be available. Finally got a tiny little project, but one of the lead developers was so bored she stole the spec and wrote it herself instead.

A few weeks later our team's manager called everyone into a meeting and told us that he was proud of us for all the hard work we'd put in. We accomplished around 2400 hours of productive time in the entire year and the team was around 60 people. Do the math, that's one 40-hour week of productivity per person.

My previous contract with the same company, different group, my boss was in awe of me. They'd mapped out two years of work for me to accomplish when they brought me on, and including learning their entire fucking system I got it all done in five months.

No, I'm not larping or joking. The company was that fucking unproductive.
>>
>>25956877
this is me so far
1 year in the entry level help desk, promoted to the money side of tech support

make them need you, it they tend to track your stats, its hard for anyone to complain if the numbers show you excel in every category
i fix problems which could have the retail stores' admin staff fired every week, but you don't

make it a big deal, you stay quiet when you can and they become indebted to you.

its comfy as, but if i ever want to make significantly more than the $80k or whatever i earn, i need to go even higher, then move to a less high-profile company without the same level of hiring power.

for now, life is good.
just a little boring
>>
threads like these makes me glad I'm a neet. I feel sorry for all of you getting cucked
>>
>>25948570
Hot El Salvadoran girl in bakery dept at Safeway flirts with me, a checker. Her boyfriend works in the produce dept. He goes every year to El Salvador's equivalent of mardi gras, and she hates that. Cheats on him with me, but seems to be using it to "teach him a lesson". Thats annoying to me, break it off, would have like to marry her. She marrys him, has a baby.

6 years later, I have passed some tests and become an apprentice, then Journeyman stationary engineer in San Francisco working at major hotel, making 120k a year (from a checker at Safeway, remember). I had texted her a year or two earlier about my newfound success, as I was annoyed she married the guy and had his kid.

Get a text from her 2 months into Covid, "lets get together and have lunch anon, I miss you and the times we had".

Go to her facebook page, all pictures of her wedding, husband scrubbed. Just her and her kid.
>>
>>25957263
the worst part about IT are the people in the bathrooms.

one of those cunts who likes to talk on airpods loudly walking around the office and then without even any body language, begin talking to people in the office who are trying to ignore him

anyway this cunt has conversations in the toilets while shitting with what sounds like explosive diarrhea and groans, that surely even the person on the phone can hear. and he's in there for a good 20 minutes

he's sort of a boss, but hes under a different tree of management to me. i was once asked to come in on a weekend, and i was paired with him but he didn't show up. i was like 'fuck yeah, i can't stand that cunt' to the IT / HR person and he gave me the most knowing cheeky laugh (this guy exists to fire anyone who gets rude to IT on the phone)

the best part about IT is the lack of enforced oversight. technically they log everything anyone does on a computer ever, and can fire anyone in the company tomorrow if they want to. people in IT understand this and tend to just ignore it since theres nothing you can do, and then shit can be pretty great
>>
>>25957592
Oh yeah, she is still very pretty, but fat now.
>>
>Answering phone in customer service of european wide group
>Button broken in the company website and getting around 10 calls about it everyday
>IT team is working on it
>Ask one month later from IT department status of the fix. They say they are almost ready... to send the bug report to the neighbor country's IT
>Two months later neighbor country has passed on the issue to their neighbor country
>Quit six months later and button is still broken
>>
>>25957629
Well, she probably swallows then.
>>
>>25949306
Physicists > every engineer ever
>>
>work in a hardware/diy/homeware retail store
>i work in the deliveries area, receiving pallets of stock from trucks and unpacking/sorting them
>company has some program where they employ special needs people for them to look good
>22 year old retard who acts like an 8 year old works in my department
>always goofs off, mutters incomprehensible shit, shouts fortnite catchphrases, lazy, basically absolutely useless
>the only tasks given to him are to push stock to other departments inside the store on roll-cages because it's simple enough for him
>pushes them and makes motor noises pretending he's driving a car
>supposed to go slow with those as they can get very heavy when full of stock
>one day the inevitable happens
>he's driving one of those cages and smacks into some really old lady probs in her 80s
>she hits her head on the ground, pool of blood on the floor
>ambulance takes like 20 minutes to get her out
>thought she died, but manager said she made it
this was a year ago
>almost killed someone but retarded kid still works there
>annoying as fuck
>one day me and a coworker are bored and talking about nazis
>we see him goofing off
>we teach him the nazi salute and make him think it's how to wave / say hi
>reinforce it
>next day he comes in and does the nazi salute to the jamaican guy who can speak german and also works with us
>we died
>bonus: he also used to call the jamaican guy "Mr Chocolate Man"
>>
>>25949935
lold irl at absolute unit
>>
>>25950231
You need the zap cannon
>>
>>25947912
i'm a psychiatrist, i had this girl come in who claimed she was on the run from cartels, was a drug mule. literally ran away and bus hopped. Didn't speak any english at all.
crazy shit
>>
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>>25958252
>>
>>25950074
I need a job. Any tips for getting into developing smart contracts?
>>
>>25949414
Dindunuffins are subhuman, to feel intimidated by them means you have a mental illness.
>>
>>25951901
Does your company start with a P because I think I'm friends with the customer. Did this happen in November/December?
>>
>>25954523
So you're saying she deserved the abuse?
>>
>>25948149
>Luckily, I'm leaving in 6 months
LMAO

S
I
X

M
O
N
T
H
S
>>
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>>25947912
>AAAAAAAAAAAAA not this picture pls
I remember when I wasn't working from home
used to be IT now dev
spending my days under desks
to plug cables in front of all the hot employees
fuck this
>>
>>25958925
>>25950074
interested as well. I don't have any background except some python and fortran in college. Is it still in demand or is it dying?
>>
>>25947912
>be me, work in HR
>we get a new boss appointed
>pregnant shorthaired workaholic feminist
>NPCs: ”what a statement to hire her in this position”
>she goes on maternal leave shortly after
>my department is without a lead, interim boss doesn’t care
>she comes back, working 10 hours mostly night times so she’s out of reach again
>she recently announced that she’s pregnant again and will leave in february for another maternal leave
>gets applauded by NPCs
>”what a strong woman”

I hate the rotten corporate world
>>
>>25951384
Jesus, you gotta warn me before you post that. Triggered my ptsd from waging. Whatever anyone does, don't ever work for someone else. Find a way to consult / self employ / business whilst you stack sats.
>>
>>25948643
One time i hit on the HR chick
>>
>>25951384
>i need you to think bigger
>we really need to diversify those teams
>can you make a presentation out of this meeting?
>we’re all thankful to work here
>we need to level our mindset here
>can’t that be changed
>i’m happy to annouce that we’ll reorganize our departmenr
>lets put our heads together and brainstorm
>lets rethink the process as a whole
>>
Old job in luxury retail for menswear
>boss is clearly deranged
>your day and the enjoyment of it depends on his mood swings
>comes in the shop and immediately finds fault with everything
>shop could be dead and he’ll get mad if you are standing, expecting you to work as an automaton
>will walk past the front of the shop multiple times to see if you’re working
>expects you to show up 30mins early without compensation so you can clean the shop before starting
Hire a cleaner, nigger
>I started showing up with 2-3min before starting so I don’t have to clean anymore
Top kek
Fuck your gay self, Steve. Fuckin faggot
>>
>>25957263
Pajeet shits are the worst. And because they squat on the toilet rather than sitting on it, they spray their fucking diarrhea everywhere, and don't flush.
>>
>>25949982
Note: If your IP is dynamic, or your ISP uses a proxy cache, you might be affected by a ban meant for somebody else. If you believe this to be the case, please state so in your appeal.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5udNrlkanc
>>
>>25949982
I felt that
I started as an apprentice in electrical engineering. Soon after I got my GED and started studying psychology.
Boss calls me names for putting in my resignation.
Are boomers really that stupid?
>>
>>25947912
>work at Value Village in same strip mall as a Goodwill
>we took stuff they wouldnt
>we did not have a customer restroom but there was a floor drain in one of the fitting rooms
>weekly occurrence
>>
>>25947912
>be me
>work from home for six years
>nothing ever happens
>just comfy
>so comfy
>>
>>25957263
This unironically happened in the bathroom of a Sears I used to work at

>Walk in to take a piss
>Get hit with the most overwhelming shit out of water smell
>Tannish-Brown suit hanging over stall dividing wall
>Shoes and socks off and laying in front of the person
>Brown feet bouncing up and down off the floor like he’s in agony
>Diarrhea all over the floor
>Pajeet shit his pants at Sears and it ran down his leg and all over the floor

I noped out of there as fast as I could
>>
>>25947912
Work in banking.
We had a guy running a Nigerian (he was half Nigerian) dating site from his work laptop and phone.
Tried to demand that he keep the phone when he was let go.
Don’t know much beyond that high level stuff though - he was in a different area to me.
>>
>>25956279
Nicotine is disgusting
Look at what it does to a room after years
>>
>>25959465
that seems like an interestng job though, do you get well paid?
>>
Work as an investigator

Trips away are always awesome. Go up with buddies, have a good laugh, get burgers here and there, go to the pub, stay in a hotel and watch comfy movies. Honestly I can’t believe I get paid to do it sometimes.

One time a takeaway manager locked us in his basement and we had to call the police. Spent about an hour down there and it was hilarious
>>
>>25950055
Sad but checked end damn chad of you.
May you find someone worthy.
>>
>>25960050
how do you even get into that?
>>
>>25951432
Afaik, no, always expected it to happen but never did. Probably avoiding the press since it was an internal problem.
>>25951512
Bankway
What made this possible was this branch had a TCR. So the TCR doesn't actually know how much money is in it. It only knows how much should be in it. On occasion we'd have a transaction that had to be reversed and resent after the customer is already gone. TCR would ask for the cash back, but we can't do that since they're not around, and it imbalances everything equally so is annoying but no big deal.
Anyways we got playing with it and found out there was a way to just adjust the TCR's computer cash. So you could for example take cash from elsewhere and make the TCR say it has it when it really doesn't and no one knows for sure until they audit the TCR.
>>
Also the vault boxes are supposed to be dual but over time people got too trusting and had both halves.
>>
>>25958140
Kek
>>
>>25960129
I worked for a government agency doing data entry shit and then they put out an advert internally to join another department. It’s half government half private sector, it can be intense sometimes but it’s definitely better than a purely office based job
>>
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>believe corona is real but vastly overestimated
>get a job sticking a swab up people's noses to test for corona
>hardly anyone shows up to get tested

This is the 5th day in a row I get sent home early, but I still get paid for the full day. Thought I might change my views once I actually got to work on 'the frontlines' but hardly anyone follows basic hygene rules and hardly anyone shows up to get tested, reinforcing my belief that it's largely a nothingburger.

It feels kinda bad earning so much money doing nothing for a cause I don't believe in, but apparently I'm really good at my job and the healthcare workers got nice asses and are obviously attentionstarved

Before this job I worked as a tard wrangler
>>
>>25947912
>be Australian in the UK
>get a job in customer care for an ISP
>meet another Ausbro, end up being alright mates with him
>he's a big dude, probably 6'5 and 270, was in the military for a year before a medical discharge for some old football injuries, chill as though
>one of the TLs there was one of those people who became manager at a Tesco and then bounced around with middle management jobs at companies for about 15 years
>he wasn't too bad at first but eventually stopped doing much of anything, wouldn't take escalations, wouldn't make call backs, basically bullied a few of the girls into crying (I was banging one at the time and was pretty pissed about that)
>basically after 2 years of working there he comes in and lets a few people know his dad's in bad health back home so he needs to go back next week, will work up until the end of the week
>TL is not there but Skypes in upon getting this news and is basically sneering down the phone at him with the whole "very sorry to hear that but you have to give two weeks notice or we don't have to pay out your annual leave" which is horseshit by the way
>they go back and forth about this, threatening to get HR involved until the TL says something about "making up things to leave work without really quitting"
>Ausbro suddenly is not chill
>"What did you just say? Get down to the office, now. I've got a real good feeling you won't be a tough guy in person. Seriously, get down here right now or everything on your desk will be in the dumpster in 20 minutes."
>Ausbro calls him a smartmouth little cunt and hangs up the call
>We talk him out of actually destroying all his shit and he grabs all his own stuff and leaves
>TL doesn't come back until he knows Ausbro is out of the country

A few months later we knew he was at the office late so we bought a bunch of sheep shit and dumped it on his car about 30 before the end of his shift. took a photo and sent it to Ausbro and said "here's to [TL's name]!"
>>
>>25949414
kek i don't know why you shared this itt but thanks
>>
>>25949225
>Soft drink distribution.
it hurts to read
>>
>>25960814
Dude, the scrub-ass to dress-up-ass conversion rate is insane.
>work as bed pusher while in nursing school
>see 7/10 girl apply for job in my department
>healthcare desperate so assume she will get job
>begin experiment
>take note of her fairly nice ass in interview outfit
>she gets job and shows up in scrubs
>noassatall
>anyone with Any ass in scrubs has a fucking dump truck.
Enjoy your comfy job
Stab them boogers.
>>
>>25949380
post pics fag
>>
>>25947912
>work for small tech company where owner manages everything
>talk to coworkers on slack about stuff
>still do all the work that's asked of me
>boss doesn't talk to us in the morning one day
>calls us in one day
>"i was curious why you are always on slack so logged into your account and read all your logs"
>"i pay you to work. not to chat to people. you also spend far too much time doing stuff like changing songs on spotify. consider this a final warning"
>>
>>25949414
kek I also did that once except I didn't cry and just spent the night dancing by myself and getting drunk
didn't talk to anyone except some girl I met in the queue and a guy I knew from the mental hospital who happened to be there lel
>>
>>25950468
What field of chemistry do you work in?

I'm in biotech/preclinical research and I can confirm you seem like exactly the sort of person that creates these idiots. Perhaps he added the A because he was intimidated by you? I've seen so many instances of MChems and BScs fuck up important work because they were too scared to ask their 2smart4u PhD team leader the same question they asked last week.
You need to learn how to wrangle retards. You gotta make them like you, and be comfortable around you.

tl;dr
Are they retarded? Yes.
Do you contribute to the problem? Probably.
>>
>>25960814
>It feels kinda bad earning so much money doing nothing for a cause I don't believe in, but apparently I'm really good at my job
Truer words never spoken.
>>
>>25961233
Fucking boomers spying on people lol. I hope you told him to fuck himself and quit on the spot.
>>
>>25961233
well you are a retard for using company slack for that shit
>>
>>25961131
Thanks for the supportive comment fren
To get back to the no-ass thing: this is a 'secret' but girls pants are made to make their ass look more shapely / bigger. Some pants are basically like push-up bra's
>Spot colleague with huge apple-ass
>Next day she shows up with different pants and it's just a saggy mess

This is probably why a big ass was seen as ugly before niggers, because we didn't have squatting and push-up pants
>>
>>25950231
Faggots are a burden to society. Enjoy your mental illness.
>>
>>25961638
nah. though in hindsight i should have. i simply stopped using slack and started phoning it in and doing the bare minimum. this was just before covid and we are all working from home now so it's been relatively comfy working in isolation. i should just get another job
>>25961681
true. i guess my logic was that if the work is done in time by a good enough standard then what's the big deal
>>
>>25947912
Once I let my manager know 10 minutes before the end of her shift by text that she can consider me sick... indefinitely....
Than set my phone on silent.
I was supposed to go in the next morning (Saturday 6am). She had to replace me for the weekend.
It was the first time I tried to take revenge on an employer and hopefully the last one. Most toxic place I ever worked in.
>>
>>25961755
t. A burden to his mother
>>
>>25962038
>she can consider me sick... indefinitely....
lel
should have done the office space classic and just stopped going. don't mention it to anyone
>Most toxic place I ever worked in.
what did they do exactly
>>
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>>25950231
Is it true faggots hate women more than incels do? Any time I see women interacting with my gay friends it makes me fucking cringe
>Overly physical
>Overly sharing information
>Wanting to collect you as a friend like some kind of gay pokemon
>>
>>25961689
How dare you spit in the face of the days of research. Boots on the ground. In the field. Trying not to be too obvious about staring at this girls ass.
Furthermore, this does not affect the thesis. If a female, while in cheaply made scrubs and sensible shoes, has even a decent ass, then she, when making an effort, will have an ears-deep worthy ass.
This knowledge is a burden. Enjoy staring too hard at work-butts that dont look that great at the moment because your mind has been cursed with true sight.
>>
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>Right anon, We sent Valerie home yesterday morning because she seemed pretty sick and you covered her station in the afternoon. Well she's tested positive for Covid so you have to go home now and get tested.

Happened today. Not even getting sickpay.
>>
>>25962179
Any tips on how to spot a natural ass?
>>
Lots of sex, scandals and crime seen in my years in UK offices.
Will post some stories if thread still up later.
>>
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>Jewish boss mentioned during my performance review she was concerned that I might be sexist or racist
>I am both
To this day I have no idea how she knew
>>
>>25962419
She wanted your dick
>>
>>25948562
Just another day on the station.
>>
>>25962419
>y-you to
>>
>>25962419
If you are a white cis male then it is pretty much assumed
>>
>>25962419
It’s always really obvious from nonverbal cues and annoying to deal with. If you ever wonder about why you’re “underappreciated” or fired over nothing it’s because of this.
>>
>>25963258
Good thing I’m slavic
>>
>>25959036
nah this was like 2015 i think
>>
>>25947912
You now realize that open plan / cuckicles were adopted to combat cocaine use during the 80s. Druggies took comfy cubicles from everyone else.
>>
>>25948149
>Luckily, I'm leaving in 6 months. Will have enough experience that I can go someplace else.
Dude just break free from the wagechains now, don't let the power of that anger stay passive in you until you die.
>>
Had a job where 4chan was banned so I would browse 4channel in my free time. Then that got banned so I put in my two weeks notice.
>>
>>25963316
That doesn't make any sense. Most people hate their job and/or their boss and are just putting on a face for work so they don't get fired. If you ever see nonverbal cues of disdain at work it's more likely directed towards the boss or the job itself rather than race or sex.
>>
>>25957629
god slampigs are the fucking best

just fuck her but don't get your hands tied
>>
>>25962337
WTF. See previous post.
If there is even the slightest work ass at all in scrubs and old lady sneakers then that is one hell of a natural ass.
What are you missing?
>>
>>25964464
As a one-off, sure. As a pattern displayed in a variety of interactions with juniors/seniors/equals over time, no.
>>
>>25962801
Died lmao
>>
>>25963861
If you don't stay at a reputable company for at least 2 years, nobody will take you seriously. Plus shit is still locked down and probably won't be back to normal again until the summer anyway, so there's no good reason to leave yet anyway.
>>
>>25950074
it makes no sense, how would he figure out? anyway it's like getting fired for not closing a door ahahahah
>>
>>25956561
removing women from the workplace, based Jap
>>
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>>25947912
Coworker in his mid 60's that just shifts all his responsibilities onto me and another eng. Is out due to complications from vaccine. Kind of quiet today without him on the phone talking bullshit with clients.
>two hour phone call.
>to get an email to send some step files.
Meanwhile manager refuses to hire anyone that he's interviewed because
>you guys are managing just fine, you don't need a fourth fella.
I'm looking for something else, but all postings appear to be the minimum requirement before they hire some h1b pajeet for barely above min wage.
>>
>>25963316
That completely ignores countersignaling theory. The most racist sexist people are the ones that don't display it at all. It's like how feminist men are the most rapey.
>>
>>25947912
Stake Suterusu until ANS land. SUTER is the privacy project every goddamn one of you is sleeping on. Can't wait for this year to play out.
>>
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I've got a good one from a few years back that showed even then how fucked the business world has become ever since fags, nigs and women were allowed participate in it.

>move to London in 2009 because recession raping my homeland
>land a nice cushy job in HSBC as junior broker
>go to a few after work drinks and such to socialise and make some friends
>outside in smoking area everyone having a good time
>we're talking about bad taste jokes
>I recount some paddy Irishman famine joke
>everyone laugh
>fast forward a few days get called by HR into meeting
>Get verbal and written warning for racist joke offending some fuck whose grandparents are Irish.
>sent on sensitivity and diversity in the workplace course
>>
>>25964960
Aberration is either direction is noticeable. The worst is someone that brings up equality shit unprompted, but URM coworkers all mysteriously hate and start behaving abnormally after contact with them. Causes legal problems within two years every time I’ve seen it.
>>
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>>25948643

only time you can do it if you're male is with a higher ranked woman. I think they are better anyway though than any young office that because they are usually cold career women who just want to fuck and feel something. Have decent bodies still because the gym is one of the highlights of their day and they are unlikely to get pregnant.
>>
>>25965097
>invaded another country
>insulted their neighbors
Go home retard.
>>
>>25965097
>slav thinks he’s white
>>
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>>25950448
>>
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>>25965430
>>
>>25949071
Also IT here, I have about half of the admin staffs passwords memorized because they are fucking morons. If I wanted to I could really fuck some shit up but Ill just keep collecting my comfy paycheck.
>>
>Worked as a test automation engineer for 8 months in some consultancy company.
>Decided that it's a dead end job and being a SDET is fucking gay.
>Studied my ass off for SWE interviews.
>Get an interview offer.
>Get the job.
>Give my notice.
>Since I was working at a consultancy firm I had to go and work in various companies. One of those companies had a cool CTO who I became friends with and did banter while I was there.
>Tell him that I gave my notice and I was gonna become a SWE.
>"Good shit anon, nice job! Since you're quitting though I have to tell you something important. Let's go somewhere private."
>CTO tells me that each SDET/QA they hired from my consultancy company costed them 8k-10k dollars a month and he had been trying to ensue the deal and hire us as inhouse workers.
>My monthly salary at the time was 4.5k dollars and the other kids got 3k
>We connected the dots and realized my company inflated their workers' price by giving them required inhouse workshops/trainings every month for free, which costed astronomical prices for people who didn't work here.
>These workshops were super shitty and only took 2 days. Anything that had been taught there could have been learnt on youtube in a day.
>They costed 1500 dollars.
>They have been writing those workshops into the deal as expenses for each worker.
>Back at my consultancy firm.
>Gen X yuppie show-off boss lectures me how 8 months is very short for staying in a company and scolds me for being not loyal.
>Tell him that I wanted to be an actual SWE instead of SDET.
>He scolds me further.
>Tell about the whole scheme to the connections I've had in every client firm and my coworker friends in the consultancy firm.
>Everyone's outraged.
>Company loses 4 client firms.
>80% of the workforce quits.
>This happened 3 years ago.
>Everyone's outraged to this day actually.
>>
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>>25948972

lmao I remember when I work as a barman in a hotel getting one of the new waiters to help me with a stock take. Had him counting the ice cubes in the ice machine and kept shouting at him for letting the stock melt
>>
>>25965489
>>25965627

I'm Irish.
>>
>>25966031
I’m going to assume you’re lying to be a cunt.
Otherwise lol anyway, get rekt for being weird at a shitty work function.
>>
>>25966084

ok paddy mcpotatomonkey
>>
>>25966209
*ag gol*
>>
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>>25949647
Best joke I ever heard on a jobite:

"What do you say to someone who can't count to ten?"

"Nice weld!"

inb4 reddit spacing
>>
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>>25947912
Oh, another one.
>Second week after starting this job.
>First sunny week in the year in this flat frozen hellhole, so commute on my bikes(cbr250/DRZ400).
>Manager likes to think he's hot shit since he drives an auto 4cyl mustang one or two days a week.
>He comes by to tell me how he used to ride 100+mph on the freeway in between traffic etc but never carried out his endorsement.
>Don't think much of it, ask him what he's riding now. Tells me he hasn't ridden since the Clinton administration, but wants to get something this spring/summer after getting his endorsement.
>Offer my 250 for practice.
>Next day at lunch, lend him a helmet and some gloves. Show him the controls.
>I I know how to ride, it's my balance that I'm woried about!
>Ok. have at it. try circling the lamp post, then a figure eight between such and such parking spaces, let me grab something to mar...
>Takes off at mach-fuck across the parking lot into a ditch.
>Can track where he's been the rest of the day due to a fine trail of brown dust/mud he leave behind everywhere he goes.
>>
>>25951183
Based. What an absolute beast, styling on wagies
>>
>>25965801
this fucking pic
>>
>>25966609
>(cbr250/DRZ400)
literally soulless
>>
>>25966708
What's the odo on your harley/r1, faggot?
>>
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>>25947912
>attending powerpoint presentation
>entire company is there
>management goes over how to best communicate with employees
>literal picture of a dog getting a treat
>>
>>25950442
Sounds like every car dealership ever. Just attracts he shittiest people:
>worked as a detailer in Canada when 16 (pay was good)
>receptionist got pregnant by the owners son within a month of being hired (swear to god, must have fucked her at the interview)
>she quits and sues the company
>two brothers working with me in the detail shop were cool as fuck
>get arrested like 2 weeks after being hired for armed robbery of an ice cream truck (I fucking swear I am not lying)
>General Manager goes missing one week, and is found murdered
>Major scandal in city (Canada doesn't have US crime levels so mysterious murders get hype)
>Police shut down investigation 6 months later because ( i shit you not ) they could not narrow down the list of suspects
>Realize working for a person, that is such an awful human being and has screwed over so many people that when you die the cops don't have the resources to investigate all the people who want you dead, is probably a bad life choice

Too bad. It was a well paying job for a 16 year old ($18 /hr) with a lot of benefits like borrowing loaner cars on the weekend for dates.
>>
Buddy got arrested for possession of heroin and didn't get fired

We went into a business our company owns and got wasted, one employee was walking around barefoot and threw up all over our table, he got fired lol
>>
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>>25966777
>>
>>25960050
I'd honestly kill a man in minecraft for your job
>>
>>25949982
they probably were really butthurt about the fact their best employee left so they wanted to do the maximum amount of damage possible but since they had no power whatsoever the maximum amount of power is attacking your gf's character which is pretty retarded lmao. good on your gf for leaving that shithole
>>
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>full time microsoft apprentice
>$40/40h/wk
>remote
Honestly it couldn't be better, Its almost 3x what I was earning before I switched from lab work to coding.
>>
>>25950758
at least he can have kids. unlikely but possible.
you will never know what real love or a true relationship is.
what's it feel like to know youre actually pitied by those you hate?
>>
>>25962214
I think you can take legal action there
>>
>>25963316
underappreciated or fired by those poor oppressed folks right.
>>
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>>25962084
Kek women have this unspoken rule to love every queer yet gays will talk shit behind their backs nonstop

>>25947912
Not really funny but I had an internship for an it help desk type thing
I found a fellow anon, we bullshitted around for a good while during the day. Maybe I brought the worst out of both of us, said a few too many inappropriate things. The management wasn't fond of me. Sucks because I'm usually a very shelled person, I don't really open up much to people but finding someone similar to me was cool.
This dude was way more socially adept than me tho so he had his own normie friend group to hang with and after one sjw type bitch snapped at me for interrupting her conversation (trying to be friendly) I stopped interacting with everyone completely.
I'm not cut out for that shit, started taking two hour lunches and I'd just sit under the stairs and listen to music on my phone. Help desk work is ass, pretty dark time for me.
Thanks for reading my blog post
>>
I was working in an afterschool tutoring outfit. The office manager was a lesbian. She only hired other lesbians except for jobs that she couldn't find a lesbian for. So it was me and 2 other guys and about 12 lesbians. Sounds hot? Porn lesbians are different than real life lesbians. These were mostly butch lesbians wearing makeup so they totally didn't look like men. They were very cold and never spoke to me the 3 years I was there. No hello. Nothing. I really didn't hate lesbians much before this job.

They were attempting to seduce the teenage girls and sometime succeeding. I thought it was unethical and gross but I really didn't care. Before long they were bringing their girlfriends to work every day. It was an after school thing so their girlfriends were off work and they would just sit around and talk. I didn't like this but put up with it. The office manager let them do anything they wanted. They would bring in wine and drink in the office and talk all the time. The pay was pretty good so I didn't say anything.

Most of the regular students had left after word got out and mostly only teenage lesbians were going there. It had become a lesbian hangout.

They would kiss openly and one time I caught two butch lesbians rubbing their tits together in the hall. Yes really.

One day the office manager calls me in and gives me about 10 reasons she is going to fire me. I figured she had found another lesbian to take my place. I told her if she pulled this shit on me I would tell her boss about everything. A Jehovah's Witness guy. She laughed. He is in another office so I wrote him a long email detailing everything. He asked me to get some pictures for evidence. I had a good laugh at that one. He started coming out there every day for a week, then had a sit down talk with her in another office. When she came back she was white as a ghost and looked like she shit her pants. The day after, she was fired and things went back to normal.
>>
>>25947912
Wooden desks? Those lucky bastards, in my office we work on plastic picnic tables.
>>
>>25950055
Grow up you little bitch. The lady wanted some d and so you should have just given her some D. You shouldn’t ruin her reputation at work because you are a naive and autistic fuck. I bet you hold statera, faggot.
>>
>>25968111
>I was working in an afterschool tutoring outfit.
Nice trips and that's a very fantastic larp post.
>>
>>25968111
>ruining based lesbian paid hangout
Snitch.
>>
>>25965097

>act like a social retard
>get told on
>blame minorities on /biz/

The incel cycle.
>>
>>25966031
>Irish
>white
>>
>>25968334
For real.
>be software engineer
>get two interns, one male one female
>they are both trash as 95% of all interns are
>the male one treats the female one like a retard all the time
>casually/off-the-record mention to him that they’re the same technically and this sort of behavior will hurt him going forward in his career
>he doubles down
>stops cooperating/communicating with her on the project
>breaks shit she does, tries to steal credit
>block his return offer and let him know
>he pitches a fit about political correctness and calls the other intern a stupid cunt
>on LinkedIn he’s still unemployed
>>
>>25963967
The recently blocked /biz/ at my work, really pissed me off o have to turn off WiFi every time I want to visit it.
>>
>>25968262
Totally not a larp. Things were pretty out of control . Imagine trying to write progress reports in a trendy dyke bar. It was the noise that really got to me after a while.
>>
>>25968312
I wouldn't have said anything if she wasn't trying to fire me.
>>
>>25948562
Security to bridge! Rouge engineer!
>>
>>25968712
Fair. F.
>>
>>25968610

Some people just lack the self introspection to understand that they might be the ones who are in the wrong sometimes.
>>
>>25968334

nice projection there Amerifat. I know humour is a difficult thing for you but there wasn't a problem with the jokes to anyone else since we were all talking about self deprecating jokes, which is pretty common in British/Irish humour.

It's a good trait that keeps you on check lest you end up like a Mutthommed and thinking you're the best in the world when its categorically untrue.
>>
>>25968806
Goes both ways- shortsighted leaders not understanding why all their talent is leaving after they started their diversity hiring initiative
>>
>>25966777
lel I can't even afford a motorcycle, it was just banter anon. Though if I could I'd get an R3 [spoiler]or a Triumph[/spoiler], but I have to make it first
>>
>>25951901

>250k

lol I'm the IT guy you replied to and one of our borrowers (we're a mortgage broker) almost got conned out of 500k from a similar phishing attempt. the only thing that stopped is was the bank flagged the transaction because it was somehow a wire directly to a prepaid Visa
>>
>>25969077

I'm not American, retard. You clearly went over the line or else you wouldn't have been reported for it. Grow up and take responsibility for your actions instead of blaming groups which had nothing to do with it just because it's convenient to your ego.
>>
>>25966856
>16 year old ($18 /hr)
I'm 24 and don't even make half of that. Fucking NA I swear
>>
>>25968610
but was she a retard though?
>>
>>25969333
No, she’s done really well since coming back full-time.
>>
If you like to be left alone at work, here is a little trick that's been working for me over the years, hope it helps some of you anons.

>I try to be above average at work, just enough to make sure I'm noticed on statistics.
>Suddenly drop productivity significantly on purpose
>When asked why by management, tell them that I get easily distracted by co-workers gossip.
>This has almost always led to management telling co-workers to don't fucking talk to me and leave me be.
>>
>>25969607
based
>>
>>25949418
I used to do it multiple times a month.
Coward.
>>
>>25948149
Who did you molest anon? Its ok you can tell us
>>
>>25969885
Most likely they’re just an autist and their boss is managing them out because normies hate autists



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