Horse GeneralBright Future Edition>>4488248 - thread that lay down for even a second
>>4503008What's the horse's wisdom?
>>4503212Buy more carrots for the horse
You're gonna need sound for this one:>>>/wsg/5071768
>>4503215you just know
>>4503218it stops being clever and witty when it becomes an automatic response, you know
>>4503376that's when we export it to other sites. It gets screencapped in funny pics, then sent to 9gag, instagram, and ifunny, then like 2 years later someone creates r/youjustknow, reuploading the same 50 images we've been posting for the past 10 years over and over again to farm internet points.
>>4503376it was never clever, brown person NPC meme from twitter
>>4503387A horse like that deserves to be dog food
>read article about feral horses>retards insist on calling them "wild"Is this what /k/ feels like when people call magazines "clips"?
>>4503897I like how many songs have secret horse lyrics. There were more in the neighties, sure but there are still some good ones.
>>4504103>Goodbye horses...>I'm flying over youuuu...
>>4503079Every god damn thread
>>4504500Hey, I like Goshiposter.
>>4504103>Chantilly lace and a pretty face>a ponytail hangin' down>a wiggle in her walk>and a giggle in her talk>makes the world go 'round. >Ain't nothing in the world>like a big-eyed girl>make me act so funny>make me spend my money>make me feel real loose>like a long-necked goose>oh baby, that's a-what I like
How big would a 2 metre tall horse's penis be? Want to know for the sake of understanding horse anatomy.
>>4504843about tree fiddy
>>4504856Please answer seriously?
>>4505072They’re some variation, but it’s important to remember that it’s more related to torso length than height at the withers.Between 1/4th and 1/3rd torso length.
>>4504843Too big to fit in an average human mouth, sadly.
>>4503212Fallout NV is better than 3
How near or far are you to horse ownership?
>>4505283Too far... still in college...
>>4505283I completed subframe assembly D the other day, have yet to work on the front leg actuators and kick amplifiers. The fusion neighactor will be the hardest part of this build though.
>>4505336I'm waiting for the cheap Chinese knock off kits online.
>>4505283A few months. My parents have a pregnant horse and I am working on the ranch where she's boarded and I'm going to buy the foal.
>>4505283Total, if you accept a feral herd of 150-ish, that accept me around them.
Donkey gang pull up
>>4505978Why are third worlders such subhumans
>>4506429Low impulse control = poor horsemanship = poor treatment
>>4505283So far. There's an online course on horse care I want to do but I'm currently writing a thesis, I don't reallt have the time to dedicate to a different thing.
>>4505978>>4506429>>4506557I don't reallt get the issue. These guys had a horse and made a memorial video for it that was in really terrible taste, but while it was alive it looked alright. Undermuscled but not malnourished by any means. Am I missing something?
>>4506769They train horses using methods the west considers to be torture. Some of their bits keep the horse's head way clamped down rather far to their body.
>>4506767I'm still trying to find a supervisor for my dissertation
>>4506744About to make some coffee and eat an apple.
>>4503587as a resident /k/ommando, yes.
>>4506970Have a doe
>>4506496Is "just knowing" a frequent occurrence between mares and their humans the same way it is between women and their stallions?
>>4506496Weird looking foal
>>4507226If you know, you know
>>4508472Any other bellyslapping videos? Purely for educational purposes.
>>4507001Deer are not for hunting. They're for mating.
>>4504843>>4505143why isn't there love for donkeys?>>4505336>pic relatedmatter of time
Do mares love their human partners?
>>4508698We stuffed them into MRI machines and asked them to think of their human friends and their mind brains lit up.
>>4506557that fucker fucking CHOMPED OUT A PART OF A CONCRETE WALLalso wtf is that captcha lmao
>>4508921Eau de cheval....Parfait.
>>4508521have a baby donkey in stockings
>>4509224HOW MANY I'S DOES HE HAVE IN HIS NAME
tfw no sink horse
>used to go to horse camp>had a close horse friend who was gentle and more cooperative>years later he retiredit hurts
>>4509482retired or """"""""""""""""""retired"""""""""""""""""""?
This is all because you refuse to recycle your plasmids responsibly. Up to 30% of horses will look like this by 2020.
>>4510342>>4510337Horse bros...we lost...zebras and donks are now destined to inherit the equine kingdom
What accent do you think would suit a horse if they could talk?
>>4510336>by 2020.It's already 2023 though.
>>4511191An incredibly thick nearly incomprehensible finnish accent.
>>4511191Received pronunciation like a fancy lady
No horses only donkeys
Is anyone else tired of sexual mareassment in the workplace?
>>4512812I wish it was just the workplace. On the subway, on long walks and at home there's always some ungulate trying to steal my minerals.
>>4512812>Try to report them to HR>They don't care because they've been switched to the Horse Resources department
Anyone studying horse academics or deadly horse arts?
>>4514204I'm studying to become a professional horse scientist like my father before me, getting my grad classes done now.
>>4514229An Ivy leaguer, how do their programs hold up compared to across the pond?
>>4510336dog hoers a cute
>>4514259>Advanced Equine Kissing and Cuddlingok>(with hoof holding)alright that's too advanced for me
>>45092902 I beliieve
>>4503215She looks half horse
>>4503008Can we appreciate mules for a min? they're the best of both worlds and more, really wish they were more popular. I would kill to have a good trail mule
>>4514542I plan to produce them for hobby farms. The neigh diesel prices keep going because someone in Botswana had an argument I was looking for one and nobody makes them anymore. Just need to get the smallest stallion I can.
>>4514259>Hoof holdingYou tea drinking degenerates have taken it too far, you have no idea what you're dealing with
Stop wanting to fuck horses
>>4514866I made that picture, and my position on the matter is "live and let live".
>>4514866>>4512993My counter argument
>>4514866Then tell horses to stop wanting to be fucked.
>>4514866>trolling the thread with dead horsesRude
>>4504103>My lovely horse>Running through the field>Where are you going>With your fetlocks blowing>In the wind?>I want to shower you with sugar lumps>And ride you over fences>Polish your hooves every single day>And bring you to the horse dentist>My lovely horse>You're a pony no more>Running aroundWith a man on your back>Like a train in the night, yeah>Like a train in the night ...
>>4515961>my lovely horse I want to hold you so tight, I want to run my fingers through your tail and love you all night
>>4506496me at the bottom
>>4516006Me on top. ;)
>>4512339Source on that vid? Wtf
How many horse scientists here? How do you chase funding for horrible experiments to increase your horse abilities?
>>4516877A rogue horse scientist came to my farm the other day and used his horsalator laser on one of my cows. Damn thing hasn't been acting right all week. If I see another horse scientist I'm reporting them to the authorities or shooting them on sight I swear to god.
>>4516930The cow is probably much happier that way.
>>4512339I will never understand how you motherfuckers find this hot. Horse pussy yeah, but this is just nasty
>>4517239Like most dicks, they look best at full mast.
>Featherless>BipedBehold, a man!
I'm going to coat myself completely in appeasing mareamones and approach the creature
>>4517291i believe it’s a colt so he’s not responding much, they’re conditioned when young to having their genitals handled for an easier time with vets later
>>4517530That excuse didn't fly when I found you in the barn at 3am with a luchador mask and it won't work now.
>>4517291I just find horse dick, erect or not, the complete opposite of sexually arousing. There's nothing good about it. It's shaped in a weird way, it's too big to take up the butt, and it's just generally unwieldy. Horsepussy on the otherhand, is perfectly designed for the human penis
>>4517461What would happen if I eat this?
>>4517570Your secretions would appease horses. I just apply it topically to appease the stare mare if my offering isn't up to much.
>>4517530>they’re conditioned when young to having their genitals handled for an easier time with vets laterBack in the day you didn't have to come up with these convoluted excuses to touch horse genitals, if you wanted to fondle horse balls you just went outside and did it.
>>>/wsg/5095915Please review this pony's neigh. Turn your volume ALL THE WAY UP, it's rather quiet.
>>4517536it varies by individual just like people, some horse penors are misshapen but they are generally kino
I've been communing with the great horse spirits in the salt circle and they have a message for an anon here.
>"Honey, it's time to wake up"
would /horse/ drink the stallion shot?
>>4520044The amount of alcohol consumed might be deadly. Do they have a pure alternative?
Are you guys bronies
>>4520160Not nearly as much as I used to be
>>4520201>they love ballsAre fluffy ponies real?
>>4520204Did the baby survive that encounter?
>>4520044rather drink it from the tap
>>4514542Mules basically arent a thing in the UK and I hate it. Just want a cute mule bros.
>>4520160The ride never ends.
>>4520204>Are fluffy ponies real?
>>4520165I always find it fascinating how something wobbly like that can grip like a hand
>>4520298They can make two little prongs extra tough.
>>4520341>that smug expression of success at the end
>>4520378don't you talk ill of our beloved ungulates
>>4520378get neigh'd at motherfucker
>>4519764Almost looks CG
>>4520407Of course it's CGI, they're extinct
>>4520550don't joke around like that anon
>>4518007Why cum on the grass?
how come there's no /horse/ player on the /an/ team?https://implyingrigged.info/wiki//an/
>>4520685Adds some flavor to it for the next horse.
>>4520160Yes. But I upped my resolution to IRL, have my own herd of 148...newest addition is 2 days old, more to come. No cutiemarks yet, though.
>>4520685Semen is just liquid fertilizer when you think about it
>>4520833Tons of animals will go to great trouble and risk life and limb to eat a crumb of cum. Ants will crawl over their dead hive friends to get at it. Makes one think twice about busting.
>>4520685grass is fucking fantastic you ignoratn pleb
>>4520937if you bust or not doesn't make a difference since if you don't actively do it at some point it will find its way out anyways. might as well do it in a controlled manner while even having fun
>>4518007>sir are you aware that your stallion is leaking?
>>4509032great ass in those stockings
>happy horse wife>happy horse life
why are horse people so weird
>>4521192It's the horse spores
>>4521192>>4521192Horses are actually remnants of a supernatural being that was never meant to exist in this plane. Next time you meat one look into their weird eyes and you'll see something there you don't normally see in an animal. and the horse spores.
>>4521469Which part of the mare is the nostrum?
>>4520160I used to be (like a few months ago) but these days the /mlp/ community is too frozen in time to enjoy. It's like all the bitter weirdos that cling to their peaks in college/high school when they got into mlp and haven't moved forward at all since then. Just a weird place man. Also they're oddly tribal about being a "true" horsefucker, screeching over the same shit everyday like "fuck barbiefags". It's just boring now
>>4521631>"fuck barbiefags"Gatekeeping is good. Mods being lenient on barbiefag tourists was a mistake.
>>4521999This but also this is /an/, talk about horse (real)
>>4522005Why are horses so veiny?
>>4522027Got a lot of blood to move around
>>4522027They’re enormous, but also very athletic for their size. Even a regular nag is like half a ton of solid muscle.
#floppower #flopperlivesmatter #floptoo
If you took a knock on the head and couldn't be trusted with horses anymore what animal would you take indoors? I think I'd choose deers and give them honey on apples.
>>4522394I would take a panda and start growing bamboo in my backyard for him.
>>4522399just put down root shields
>>4503008Horse gen is a wonderful gen. I think it's because 99% of horse gen users don't own horses or have even spent significant time around horses, we just enjoy the concept of horses, and it makes for a fun, odd little time. Love you guys <3
>>4522431My sister owns a few. I went to school as a kid, basically competent around them, go for a ride every year or two, you’re basically correct though.
>>4522431Who can afford them anymore?
>>4522431>I think it's because 99% of horse gen users don't own horses or have even spent significant time around horsesIf you spend time around horses and hate them it is LITERALLY a skill issue THOUGH
>all these horse cocks >not a single horse pussy postedhomosexual general
>>4503010what did they mean by that?
>>4522679I know a fella that horses just hated and neighted. Had some sort of smell that made him get chewed to pieces by all but the calmest geldings.
>>4522734The horse's heart... they melted it.
>>4522618>3 million dollars for a simple pleasure ponyBros...at this rate I'll never be a horse owner
>>4522697Be the change you want to see
>>4522110Lol, that guy gets to film the best horse shows.
>>4505283I work at a community stable, not interested in owning one though
>>4522697Phoneposter reporting in
>>4523139Thank you phoneposter.
>>4523089nice fuckin horse, dude is chillaxin
>>4523333Sabre. He's a cool dude.
>>4515083Thanks anon, it's one of my favorite memes.
How do I stop horses from gangstalking me?
Lazy monday morninghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_r7x2Bu-Qzc
>>4524359Sleep with hoers
Do you have the mare madness?
>>4524350Make original content. They love that.
>>4524586Jebus what a lot of bullshit. Just call it heat. Mares in heat produce a lot of extra fluid, which is used for release of their hormones. If a stallion wearing a condom mounts a mare in heat, the amount of expulsed fluid makes you think, it's not primarily seminal fluid.Horses have post-nut reactions too. Stallions get grumpy kicks afterwards, when just before the mare was willing. Meanwhile the stallion gets lost in post-nut bliss- untill he gets hungry again. It's nature at its core, a drive to procreate. And in that drive- a mate can quickly be found- it is more of a question if the mate of choice will be tolerated post-nut. Horses can have regrets, but they have feelings too. So yes, the mare madness is real. And it seems to be a shared madness, going over the species boundary... Ah well.
>>4503395I thought brown guys lusted after blonde women?
>>4524586What kind of overly verbose crap is this? Did I seriously just read a sentence with eight comma breaks?
>>4524359>can't add video to one of your playlists but can ~clip it~what the fuck is this faggotry? seriously that faggot ass site is getting worse by the day. they only do changes to it to make it worse.
It's a disgrace how they used to store horses.
>>4525510The japanese were only slightly more humane.
>>4522110stop posting horse cocks
>>4526188What are you, gay?
>>4522110keep posting horse cocks
>>4526188It’s just a fact of life here on /horse general/ wouldn’t be the same without it.
>>4526268they are pretty disgusting
>>4525022>can't add video to one of your playlists but can ~clip it~Works on my machine.
Is it possible to combine the functions of a broodmare and a racing mare in one horse? I mean, if you have a great racing mare and you regularly breed her and sell the foals, will she lose her racing qualities due to intermittent pregnancies?
>>4526775Humans and horses can't procreate
>>4526804That... wasn't the question.
>>4526804>We lost the knowledge for humans and horses to procreateftfy
>>4526804I don't believe you.
Tip of the nice mare-g
>>4527572Oh, that picture must have been taken in the spring. That horse is emerging from her underground den after hibernating for the winter and looks ready to snack on human kneecaps.
Winter settles in, time for comfort food
>>4522110https://japanspectrum.com/2020/05/12/penis-transplant-ben-glabman/I need it so bad
>>4528749Even if possible could your circulatory system even remotely support it?
>>4528860You just need more blood
>>4528860people still think a dick is literally filled with blood.in reality there's some spongy material in there that gets inflated with blood. you don't need 10L to make a dick like that stand up.a transplant like that is still a retarded idea.
>>4528889or better oxygenated artificial blood, if we're going into near future bullshit why not>>4528904>a transplant like that is still a retarded idea.yeah can't see how it could possibly work, unless you could vat grow a human dna approximation to avoid rejection? Furries are a strange breed who knows what horrors await ushorse dongs belong on horses simple as
>>4528907or artificial horse blood
>>4529059Cute foal. We're low on donkeys because the chinese keep eating their skin.
I've finally gotten to meat a draft mare today, what's stopping you?
>>4529187I meat mares literally every neigh of my live. Proud of ewe for realizing you can do the same.
>>4529358>the way that mare is plowing in there with absolute disregard>the way she's moving in the bathroomyep, that mare was deeply goncerned. my first guess was new years fireworks or thunderstorm.
>>4529430Just had places to be. We all do sometimes.
>>4529430She was just trying to fix up her marekup, anon.
big horse penis
>>4508921don't let /mlp/ see this>>4514204>cockington
>>4529754Don't let them see this either.
Donkey foal in the timeout corner
>>4529815I take it it's there for being [spoiler]an ass[/spoiler]
>>4529815>ears scanning behindBad foal!
>>4529815The council of donks disapproves of this action.
HOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HORRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
>>4530025Wow he's literally me.
>>4529577When the horse dick is out like that for no apparent reason it’s a bad sign. Horses don’t get an erection just by looking at mares or anything like that. In the stables that I house my horse, there used to be a horse with the dick out and it turned out to be an infection. The vet had to cut off the penis to save the animal.
>>4530031stop trying to trick anons into emasculating their stallions
>>4530031This is one of the most elaborate trollposts since the laying down thing
>>4530031Bullshit. Horses frequently have erections, and masturbate. Nice b8 m8.
It's over, the foals cometh.
the future is now
>>4530105I have ridden horses regularly for half a decade and not once have I seen a horse with a random erection while prepping/walking around. Not even when mares are around, like I said.
>>4530699>makes up "facts" because he lives around literal low test horsessheath doesn't automatically mean "stallion". you probably live in an area where 99% are gelded, which means no balls. there are also areas where they train stallions really early on to not let it out even by slapping on the dick with a riding whip because yeah, they are that deranged.if it doesn't get aired frequently, smegma will build up in abnormal amounts. that's also why you see so many talk about "removing beans" and washing the dick. all that shit is normally not needed at all but is a result of modern horse ownership.
You guys just can't stop talking and thinking about horse dongs.
Have you prepped your horse for the apocalypse yet?
>>4530937This but horse pussy
>>4530779of the three geldings i've known only one had zero libido
>>4530981Police horse training? Around here they’re cops who also happen to be horse people with their own horses on their own acreages. The Service will issue them uniform tack and has a deal for stabling at the local racetrack but it’s a surprisingly DIY affair. Still seems like a cool job patrolling parks and stuff rather than typical daily grind of copping.
>>4530981what if the horse is the apocalypse?
>>4531036Sir? Your horse... is overheating
>>4531123you've never seen horses procreate or the way the pop out of the ground in autumn?
>>4531154Oh right, horse spores my bad
Oh horse butt only you understand me..
>>4531036hooo...horse sporse. don't breathe this!
>>4531198It is a privilege to be a human male, who is accepted by a big herd, to be allowed to also do this. No kicking, no ears in the neck drama. Just living life, connecting with more than just the same species. Communicating by body language, across species. I can walk between, across, behind and underneath them all without harm.. And it gives me a peace of mind, more than my human live could give me. To be trusted, to be accepted. No language barrier. More than human.Do you know how it feels to be challenged for a fight in the ranks by a beta stallion, how it feels to be rightfully kicked in the leg.. To work your way up in a herd. To get to sleep between the horses, and not be trampled in your most defenseless moments. To hug, but also to fight for your rank. To be protected from fighting stallions, by the other members of the herd. To be accepted by the leaders of the herd. To care for the alpha stallion, and have him by your side, and his approval as one of the herd.It is an honor to remove irritating parasites and plant matter from manes and ears. It gives great pleasure to free those who do not have hands, from itches and pests they cannot reach.I am one with the herd, accepted by the herd. And it is a place I am proud of.One of the most memorable moments was when one of the mares was giving birth, and the herd was literally pushing me to be part of the moment. The foal that mare gave birth to, grew up to bite a few holes in my jacket, but after a few years of learning, he is an aspiring stallion who is the first one to run to me when I meet them again.In short, horses are great. And their mental capacities will surprise you.
>>4530779>you probably live in an area where 99% are geldedThe majority are castrated, yes, but it’s not like that. I’d say it’s around 70% for the gelded horses. I myself own one stallion and one castrated horse.> there are also areas where they train stallions really early on to not let it out even by slapping on the dick with a riding whip because yeah, they are that deranged.I find it hard to believe that the entire bloody region does that, specially because I have attended multiple training sessions of the younger stallion back when it was a colt and I’ve never seen that.
sharing breathsharing food
When you talk to a horse do you ever get a feeling they know more than they're letting on?
Anyone knows decent horse channels on youtube, bros?When I search something it always a whole page of chink and pajeet bot channels
>>4533213there's a bunch of farrier channels which are comfy (and a bit disgusting) watching
>>4522609>I went to school as a kidGood for you anon :)
>>4526775She's bred and the foals are sold after she retires. It's why race mares dont have a very long racing career.
>>4530031Every gelding/stallion that I've ever groomed has had an erection during grooming at least once. Often more than that. Its perfectly natural. Stop spreading rumours anon.
>>4533231it's not like it doesn't happen for males of other mammalian species
>>4505164Your mom is a horse.
>>4533231give them some tugging as a reward
If a horse has an erection they die. It's just the whey they're made.
>>4533468they're like decapodians. they all mate once in a big orgy, the mare laying a large clutch of eggs that the stallion then fertilizes. the ordeal spells the end of both sire and dam
>>4529754>dont let them see itToo late anon.
>>4511191severe case of aussie accent
>>4531798I love you goshiposter
>>4533231Maybe horses just find you particularly sexy, ever considered that?
>>4533213I enjoy watching Friesian Horses.
>>4533213Stable Horse Training is my number one go-to, hands down.Educational, and very kind to his horses
>>4533436Exactly. While anon is correct in that if it's out of its sheath near constantly then something is probably wrong, at the end of the day a horse is an animal. Animals get erections. If an animal getting an erection without mating was a death sentence then we wouldn't have come (lol) very far.
apparently this year there's an international equestrian tournament fairly close to where I livecan you just go there and look at the horses or would people think it's weird if you're not actively riding yourself?
>>4534244people interested in horses at an equestrian event? preposterous!
>>4534244All horse people are weird. And when everyone is weird, no one is.Plus I think the whole point of those is specifically to observe. You might even meet the horse girl (not an actual horse, unless...?) of your dreams.
>>4534343>horse/girlswhy not both?
>>4534244Most of those events have a horse guard at the entrance. Their job is to keep out undesirables such as horse comic collectors, hoof fetishists, oats solicitors, squash soup salesmen, those afflicted with mare madness, and horse """enthusiasts""". If you think you can sneak by them then go ahead.
Hey guys I was wondering what the current state of Horse lineages/breeds isSeeing as we've stopped needing horses, how many horse breeds have been lost?Do we only have race horses and ponies these days?
>>4534390If you can, support draft horses. They need our help the most.There are some attempts to bring them back under the green craze guise (they do not damage the forest while doing forest work like heavy machinery does) they still keep vanishing. Huge horses are costly to maintain so if nothing changes soon they will be gone in the near future.
>>4534390there's plenty of draft horse breeds. my friend has a big calm gelding that loves pulling things [spoiler]and scritches[/spoiler]
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Forest_Horse>only 88 stallions left>and that was in 2017F
>>4534244The lie detector they hook you up to when they ask if you like horses the normal amount is just for show. It's inadmissible in horse court.
>>4534363This guy gets it. Saved.
>>4534363Everyone knows the guards save aside "enthusiasts" until the end of their shift. They're tough and they do a hard job, so they often need to blow off some steam at the end of the day if you know what I mean.
my wife is very innocent>bob here has sweet itch>he is allergic to fly bites and is just a generally itchy fella>he keeps biting at his legs>wife decides that his boots don't cover enough skin>cheapest socks on the internetbob is a programmer now :)
>>4534654>Tranny programmer stallionIt would be funnier if it wasnt so fucking cursed
>>4534654how dare you deadname this beautiful mare
>>4534634>so they often need to blow off some steam at the end of the day if you know what I mean.Like this?
>>4534252>>4534343hah okay, maybe a stupid question but I've only ever been at events where I (at some point) played the sport myself or with a friend who did>>4534363oh no...