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Whenever i go to her home or if we go on a trip and bring it. It gets excited and keeps jumping on my leg, wrapping its paws around it and curling its body and humping. Sometimes it gets so worked up it does it to her too but less often.
Its a fucking large dog so its annoying and it hurts if im wearing shorts as its claws scratch me and if trousers it obviously damages them.

I feel like there is nothing i can fucking do about it cause even if i shouted at it she would get really upset and she wont follow it up anyway.

So why does it do this? At least i’d like to know that fucking animal needs a kick in the mouth. I have never felt like being violent to an animal till now
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Don't have kids. Imagine how those would be raised if your gf can't even raise a dog.
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>>3869663

Kek. I wont.
To her credit its an adopted dog but the fucking thing has bene in her care since it was about 1 and its 9 now. She took some classes long ago and it does sit when told but if its excited it will ignore. But yeh. If it were my dog it’d either not be like that or straight back in the pound to be gassed
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Jesus christ, just watch some videos. Y'all have a whole planet's worth of libraries and info at your fingertips, and yet mo one ever wants to do some basic research and legwork!
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>>3869672

Because i see it for like less than 1% of its existence. Whatever i do is not going to he followed up on. So it wont work.
Im not a retard who does pointless things.
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What might work is raising your leg just when it is about to mount you. For the jumping up I find it helps a lot to let the dog's head bump into your flattened palm, they will tend to dislike that feeling and settle down. Don't greet it otherwise, so no high voices or eye contact, don't acknowledge it existing at all other than doing what I just described to parry it jumping on you. Your girlfriend really should teach her dog to stop being a rowdy asshole. You could also try getting a handful of very tiny treats and just throwing that shit down so it scatters everywhere and the dog gets distracted and instead will direct its energy on finding the goodies. Chances are it will be calmed down after it found all the treats, and if you don't acknowledge it the trigger to act like a retard on speed should be gone. But again, these are all quick fixes and not a solution to his bad behavior, that would be proper training. What kind of breed or mix is it?
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>>3869698

Its a golden retriever.
Its also really loud and barks a lot. Strange for a golden no?
I think i will try lightly stepping on its foot or something like you said every time it jumps on me from now on. If she sees she’ll go crazy but she probably wont notice
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>>3869660
>girlfriend
>large dog
>humps humans
>gf is okay with this
You just know
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>>3869686
Then have a conversation with your girl about the dog. Tell her you want her to do something about it. Otherwise, what exactly are you trying to get from this thread?
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>>3869724

Just wondering why the dog does it. I said that in OP.
There is no point talking to her. She’ll get upset and defensive and irrational. Im never going to live with her(or any woman, its a dumb idea) anyway and the dog will die soon so its not a huge problem. Im just surprised. I actually understand animal abusers now
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>>3869660
Just put your hand flat and right infront of it's face as if you were telling it to "talk to the hand" and
say no sternly, but not aggressive. I trained my labradoodle like that and he learned in pretty quickly. Do not raise your leg or turn away or try to cover up, these are signs of submission and the dog will think you're his bitch both literally and figuratively.

Dogs are not stupid, if you put your hand like I said it will know it can't go through your hand and try go around it. Keep moving your hand in front of his face until his greeting excitement fades away.
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>>3869660
>So why does it do this?
Because it's excited and likes you. Dogs don't comprehend sex the same way we do, to them excitement from one source is the same as other sources of excitement which manifests in humping and dog boners in some dogs. Tbh he probably just needs walking and playing with more to tire him out. Pent up energy can also manifest as sexual energy.

Another reason dogs hump is a dominance thing. Some dogs will hump other male dogs as a form of dominance and displaying their virility to female dogs. It's basically buck breaking and no I'm not making that up. That being said this doesn't sound like it's the case, he probably just likes you and doesn't know how to show it/can't control himself/doesn't know what he's doing wrong.
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The tried and true strategy for fixing humping is that every time they hump, put them in time out. Once they settle down let them out of time out. If they hump again, repeat. They will learn. Or just get it fixed, that also helps.
If your gf isn't willing to fix this issue just dump her because she clearly doesn't care about your well-being. Also probably fucks the dog.
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>>3869660
humping is dominant behaviour, the dog is just showing who's boss
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>>3869745
>say no sternly
dogs can't speak english

to fix jumping and humping you must: NEVER engage, never pet a dog that humping or jumping you, never even look at its face, go to another room. Lock it in the kennel. Time to walk, it jumped? Welp, back in the kennel.
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tug that knot
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>>3869660
It is trying to infest you by worms so you will surround it with luxury this is their prime directive until they turn you into a dogfag or pit mommy
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you are being cucked by a dog anon
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>>3869721
Don't tell OP
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>>3869660
So let me confirm OK?
Your girlfriend owns a large dog, By herself. And this dog has not been discouraged from humping humans; it even does it to her.
Bro I should not have to do the math for you on this one.
>>
You just know
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>>3869660
you should beat your girlfriend's ass
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>>3869721
Primal masculinity they can only get from literal animals these days. cases of this happening have been increasing a lot
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>>3869660
she's fucking the dog or has let it lick her pussy, get out of there.

Or fuck the dog to show dominance.
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>>3873972
wish I was a white woman desu
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>>3869741
So you're just having a girlfriend with no intentions of a serious lasting relationship. Why even bother about the dog then? Just move on like the duche you are
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>>3869698
give it treats would just be teaching it that when it want to hum you it get food and to hum you. you have to make sure it now it place you can smack it a little not hit it, it want a other dog would do. the dog think of you to more as a bitch then the top of the pack.
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>>3869660
Fuck your girlfriend's dog in front of her.
To assert dominance.



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