MASHING EditionPrevious thread: >>3559305
apple status: mashed
>>3569291*pins ears at you*
Is it true that if you scratch a horse on their hard to reach places, they'll keep going back to you if they're feeling itchy again? My neighbor owns some horses and I wouldn't want to bother her.
>>3569482absolutely. if you can help them of getting rid of really bad unreachable itches, they will love you.problem is, there's not a map where those spots are.
Horse horse horse horse horee hlrse hilEselrk
>>3569535Anon, we told you not to overdorse
>>3569291Give me your most VICIOUS and UNETHICAL nose mashing gifs. I failed to save any the last time they were posted.
>>3570060>That tail wag when the horse assumes direct control
>>3569291Horses literally are divine, they are cute as fuck i was supposed to buy one but the corona hit... No eventing with my horse for me for now i guess
I want to _____ a horse
>>3570278what if they forcefully assert maximum dominance over you before you had the chance?
>>3570377dont joke about it, my jaw and throat still hurt.
>>3569502Inside rear leg is the ultimare. Get the goofiest faces when you destroy that area.
>>3570399I can lift a shetland pony off the ground now
>>3570399>>3570411Based horse lifter anons
>>3570321I want to a horse
>>3570314Their animations are okay.
>>3570409Between front legs and mane is best.
>>3570693Post the mutation with the extremely long tongue
>>3570670chest is the boner zone
>>3570766Only on stallions. Mares do not get boners.
>>3570787that is probably exactly what he said before it happened
HOT STEAMY HORSE _____
Regular reminder that there is nothing more pure than the love between a man and a mare.
>>3571036God said no.
>>3571036Your board is embarrassing
>Four legs>Tail>Nose is a highlight of the animal>Move in herds>Friend to humansElephants are basically horses, change my mind
>>3571173No they’re elephants
>>3570925the fabled steamhorse
>>3571036I almost forgot
>>3571173horses and their cousins do seem predisposed to evolving trunks. do trunks create intelligence? the bigger the trunk the more manipulation an individual can do, and the more intelligence is required to properly wield it. is a tapir smarter than a horse?
>>3571505horses are masters of disguise
>>3569444Is that Verity? If so, based
>>3571519Man they yanked that rope hard.
>>3571036I want a big mare. For me.
>>3571520yes, and she's plump and happy now
>>3571713They should buy her
>>3571773No, because it will probably be on a whim by someone who can't care for her.
>>3571773>fat neckbeard buys her with his cashed out buttcoins >takes her to his basement apartment where he puts her next to his doll collection>her new diet consists of doritos and mountaindew no.
>>3571772https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-1998-11-22-9811220098-story.htmlHard to believe they can rip off an arm
What do horses smell like? I have never been near a horse without the place being totally covered like hay and smelling like hay
>>3571786Only a horse would know
>>3571786They smell earthy. Like raw leather almost. If you scratch them the horse dust gets under your nails and your hand smells of horse for the rest of the day.
I'm going to buy a little farm on Fiji and get a sheep and a cow and breed horses
gonna need some christmas horses lads
How good would a mattress made out of living horse noses be? Just thrashing around like this while you sleep and delivering hot air.
>>3572038>look at all this cocaine!>>3572039Not very restful, because they will throw you of the bed. Those noses are stronk.
>>3572091I already wear silk pajamas in a velvet duvet set so I'm used to fighting for a good night's sleep
>>3572101Did you want a bed or a slide?
Stop the pony bullying
>>3572114If I could sleep hurtling down a tube at mach 1 that would be great but the technology just doesn't exist
>>3572123stop the dog bullying
>>3572134niceshow that little shit who's boss
H-how thicc can their rumps get?
Don't mind me, just posting this totally innocent webm
>>3572212Why would you post cows in a horse thread
>>3572212These are some big ass horses.
>local horse farmer not so tough after getting hand mauled
>>3572291I would love to touch a horses weird lips.
>>3572294That's a really easy goal to achieve.
>>3572294Just go to a farm and say>I need some alone time with one of your horses, ya dig? Wear a full suit or he'll think you're weird
>>3572306No you have to wear the full suit and say "Hello farmer man I'm here from the government agency and I'm investigating reports of total weirdos touching weird horse lips in this area. Do you mind if I have a look around?"
>>3572309Men in Black but for supernatural horse incidents would be a good show
>>3572306>alrighty, let me get the camera first
>>3572168why do I have a sudden urge to message it
>>3572324I don't think that horse can receive any email
>>3572324>aww crap it's that weird guy from 4channel again
>>3572305Where do I find horse in a city?
>>3572343Live somewhere else
>>3572324>emergency, paging dr teat
>>3572378strangely creepy horse
>>3572343There's an entire horse corral in the middle of Amsterdam
>>3572347Shit man, you're right.
>>3572378I want to ride skinhorse butt ass naked
Y'all ready for the Heat VR update? Atlas the horse looks good.
>>3572134Cat bullying is acceptable.
>>3572391riding on a naked horse must feel weird....
>>3569444Verity a cute
>>3572876Did he died?
Fuck ponies and fuck juice
Does horse like getting face touched like that?
I blew really hard into a mare's nostril and she bit me right on the face
>>3573994Depends on many factors.Most will just kinda tolerate it and sway away their head sooner or later and some will find it unpleasant and just try to avoid it instantly, especially if you just manhandle that snout without knowing what you're doing. They are incredibly sensitive there despite most people thinking that you can clap on a horse anywhere (HURRDURR THEY'RE BUILT TOUGHER THAN HUMANS). Some spots on them are just as sensitive than human skin or even more so.If you do it lovingly the way you'd enjoy it on yourself too, there's a big chance they'll like it too.
Here's a mare that is almost falling asleep (look at those eyes and the hanging, relaxed lip). Still jolting sometimes when he gets too tickly or lands his hand too quickly on the snout. But still trusting and relaxed overall.
As you can see, even the flanks are not as tough as many people say. This wasn't even hard. Don't slap around a horse thinking they feel less than us.
>>3574002What's his deal? why did he tap her?
>>3574036How could he not?
>>3574036>Implying you don't want to tap that in more ways than one
>>3574036What we see there is an absolute mastery over an equine. He can just tap the horse and they'll move their big meaty butt over thanks to the raw sexual power that person is exerting over the horse.It really is love or be loved when it comes to horses.
well, THAT was not grass.
>>3574246>>3574248Damn thing was scanning for kneecaps first!
>>3572690Is that some anthro trash?
There's a barn near here that hangs all the horses up from the rafters like this when they're not in use. I think it's cruel
I was making squash soup recently and was reminded of mare squeezin's
>>3574343I've heard rumors of a farm that did that then the horses caused an uprising and tied the owner up in the barn to give him some of his own medicine. Legend has it the horses still own the farm and tie up any unfortunate souls that wander onto it. Very spooky.
>>3572435wouldn't you get chafed to fuck? i have never ridden a horse without wearing long pants
Could two horses rigidly tied together run faster than individually?
>>3569482Scratch their belly button and what how stupid their faces get
>>3575942Is that one of the really small horses?
this thread is now perfectly silent
>>3576360I hate it when they appear and absorb literally all soundwaves JUST when you want to watch a great soccer game
>>3576360those are big ears
>>3576490WHAT WAS THAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU
>>3576490What are they listening to ?
>>3576565Do they hear the megamare coming?
I really want to touch the inside of their nostrils but I know they don't like it.
Why can't we have horse butt petting zoosI want to pet all the horse butts
>>3575965Ever run a three-legged race?
>>3576490Can donks hear your inner thoughts with their giant ears. You know like thoughts, feelings, emotions, primal urges, stuff like that. Asking for a friend.
>>3576865Let me put it this whey; they heard your post.
>>3576891In that case I will be retiring to a small remote island off the coast if greenland to spend the rest of my days, far away from modern civilization and equines of any type. Goodbye horsgen, I hardly knew ye.
>>3576915No, wait that's the island the Houyhnhnms inhabit!
>>3576776Rapists like you should never be allowed around horses.
>>3576953McFucking kill yourself.
>>3576963Says the attention seeking female tripfag whos calling someone whos telling a joke a rapist.Fuck off to reddit where the simps get off to the idea of a woman calling them a rapist.
>>3576965Really mad oh no.
>>3576982Its legit a woman
>>3576983There are no girls on the internet.
>>3576969Aren't you the psycho who has horse testicles in their tits
>>3576986No dude like literally that tripfag is a girl.
>>3576987why are you faggots so dumb, the proof is one alleged photo collage from reddit, what's more likely, this bizarre story or chang is lying on the internet, every year something like this makes the rounds on social media and it's always false
>>3576995Why so mad, Bits in Tits?
>>3576995I get your a /pol/ tard incel but that horse chicks confirmed to be that girl it was a big thing for a while on /v/ and even /pol/ for a while too.
>>3576995Schitzo take your meds
Horse Pussy Lovecraft
>>3577003>your a /pol/ tard incel>cites /pol/ for proofstupid brown person
>>3576269Either that or it's a very big atom.
>>3577052Is that a h-h-horse? On my screen?! Ah! I can feel my mind slipping away and unnatural carnal thoughts entering my consciousness! What horror! What ungodly lustful images of horse butts and squash soup now fill my once pure and innocent hard drive! Help me niggerman!
>>3576710but... that's a cow
>>3576782Well in a three-legged race, you're only tied at the legs. Plus, bipeds have more of a tendency to fall over than quadrupeds
this is my mare say something nice about her, /hg/.
>>3577253she looks very pretty with that saddle
>Take me down to the Percheron city where the grass is green and the mares are heavy
>>3577253We are just going to take your word that's a mare?
>>3576953Youve got some fat milkers horsemommy bet your studs love to feel those pressed up against their sacks
I want Horsemommy to go and stay go.
>>3577391Whats your issue with the horse girl? I dug into her a bit today and found out shes apparently a legit zoophile so I would think she would be well liked here
>>3577393Probably unironic jealousy either because she attention whores and gets away with it because of female status or because she has access to horses and they dont.
>>3577393She's an attention whore for one. She's a hypocrite as well (she can rape horses but it's wrong when others do it). The horse testicle thing is proof Jesus Christ has abandoned us and changed his middle name to Fucking. Like it's legit something that I'd think was over the top if a D&D necromancer did it. She is literally the type of attention whoring cunt that "tits or GTFO" was invented to discourage.
>>3577404>She's a hypocrite as well (she can rape horses but it's wrong when others do it).You sure she wasnt joking mate? Aint she an autist sometimes those peoples jokes come off bad
>>3577406Jokes are supposed to be funny.
>>3577376Yup.>>3577406I was joking.>>3577410It was funny to me.
>>3577393Still the same non argument.
>>3577404Were you really that offended?
>>3577424Your ghoulish implants are a bitter reminder that every day we stray further from God's light.
>>3577253Low quality photo, high quality mare. I would give her a handful of grain and scratch her neck then take a picture with a real camera.
>>3577253I really like her... mane ?
>>3577253this isn't hunger games...
>>3577253Her mane reminds me of a middle age biker chick who smokes and probably has a gravelly voice
>>3577325>oh horses>you understand me
>>3569291how do i get my neighbours horse to let me touch it
>>3577551The key is to sneak up really quietly behind it while wearing flowing billowing clothing like a cape or something, wait until you're within petting distance and then scream through a bullhorn or activate your 120dB noise device and flap around your cape with spastic jerking movements. This will let the horse know it's ready to be pet. It's even more calming for the horse if you knock over their foal while doing this.
>>3577551Yeah you really have to show that you're the boss.
>>3577551Confidence, having food also helps.
>>3577622Don't do this it makes mustard gas.
>>3569291>>3569292what the fug thats a local slav tv station
>>3577276>>3577283yesh she does and yes they are!>>3577338anon don't be lewd.>>3577475it's my shitty cellphone, obviously. I'm saving for a real camera, I'm thinking a Canon M50.>>3577495I haven't seen that movie.
the castration photo is taken from http://msuequine.blogspot.com/2015/07/last-few-weeks-at-rood-and-riddle_28.html and flipped so it's harder to reverse image searchthe girl is shooped from a magazine https://i.imgur.com/8kZQwBd.jpg https://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/comments/cy1tjz/my_specially_commissioned_breast_implants_have_12/some other bimbo with her face coveredthis is why i hate incels, and the story is so stupid i can't imagine anyone believing it, so this faggot is talking to himself
>>3578395>that uterine prolapse picture in the first link
>>3578395>turns off trip to defend selflmao @ u Bits in Tits
what is wrong with this dude, he's like lost and thinks this is a discord with people he knows
>>3578418>horswitch in progress of casting an universe shattering spell with the other witch trying to prevent it
>>3578395>he thinks she made that collage>he thinks that imgur picture he linked isnt the shopped version of the implant picturekill yourself chud
>>3578395That was never her in the castration picture other people put that together after she posted her original implant picture and they added one of her other reddit pics to it the bikini one, you would know if you go back far enough stalking her like us simps
>>3578395Bruh Ive seen her titties on discord lmao.
>>3578459>discordyou can go back to there now.
>>3578395>https://i.imgur.com/8kZQwBd.jpgMentally ill stalker posting photoshoped troll pictures and complaining about images I never posted, here you go.
>>3578468HOLY SHIT LMAO BASED HORSE QUEEN
>>3578468Your some kind of special lady jesus...
>>3578468>editing out the horse testiclesYou can't escape the truth, Bits in Tits.
>>3578480You can actually still see the implant in that imgur link too like the corona of it lmao
>>3578482just pathetic attempts to cover her tracks really
>>3578488Imagine trying to sloppily hide your past like this instead of just turning off your trip lmao
>>3578491What are you talking about
>>3578493>wh-what are you talking about?The Horse Bits in your tits
>>3578495Dont think she denies the testis shit mate
>>3578495What about them
Man /an/ drama is weird
>>3578502it takes a very special type of person to stoop to starting drama on a board about nature
>>3578468So how exactly is this girl not the queen of horse general again? Shes literally living the dream
>>3578503some reddit reject who figured out to use a trip is the reason there's any "drama"and the only time she turns it off is to pose as someone else coming to her defense.This is a horse thread meant to be about posting and talking about horses, not some woman trying to get attention
>>3578509I never take off my trip.
>>3578509You underestimate her simps
>>3578511you underestimate a mentally ill woman's desperation for attention
>>3578502>/an/ dramaIf you paid attention you'd have noticed that (again) this shit comes from outside sources like mentioned Discord.
>>3578514Seems to me like just one sperg freaking out over a spergette
>>3577622tried and died
>>3578928That's a clear violation of the horses 10th amendment rights, how dare she
pls no carot un but
>>3579056It's weird how you have to remind people not to put things up there
>>3570765Doing it wrong
>>3578468>>3578469>>3578476>>3578480>>3578505samefag you stick out so badly, please don't post a screenshot to deny it since you're probably using your phone
>chang trying to ignore the supposed castration came from a public university web page from 2015 for this supposed 2019 event
Can someone post the webm of the horse biting the guy's shirt and basically throwing him?
>>3579632>>3578458>>3578455It was never her in the castration picture she didnt make the collage redditards did
>>3579747>the collage redditards didYOU are the redditard for wanting to defend some nobody woman tripfag when you should be posting horses instead.
She big She strong
>>3580035>do you think this is a motherfucking game?
>>3579747>shenot until there's a timestamp, chang
>>3580035I get early 2000s vibes from that horse.
>>3580548Horse are so expressive
>>3580558Dog and horse. You can really see what all those years living with humans did to them
>>3580887>printer out of toner
>>3581063Yes, that oneThanks fren
>>3577253she's cute. pretty markings. give us a bigger picture.
Horses are dumb and uselessBut cute
>>3581698>dumbDebatable>uselessCivilization as we know it was built on the backs of horses. Show some respect.
>>3581705yeah but now we have carshorses btfo
>>3581698Horses are based because they go neigh and were trusty steeds to cowboys and knights
>>3581932haha horse go neigh
>>3581698Dunno about dumb, have you ever ridden one?
>>3581932Horses dont even make neighing sounds who came up with this
I want to take a nap with some horses in a field bros
>>3582187I alwayd get sleepy around sleepy/sleeping horses.
Men should never ride mares. This is because it's too much temptation for a man to have sex with the mare while out on a ride thru the woods or somewhere real secluded. Men should only ride geldings (or stallions), but not mares. People who don't own horses often make comments and accuse men of having sex with their mares, even if the man is not doing it. But in many ways they are correct in assuming it. Most people can understand how any lonely male, out in the woods with only his mare, looking at her long flowing mane, muscular body, and large dark eyes, would easily get sexually aroused, then get up on her back (without the saddle), and fornicate with her. The best solution is men should only own male horses. But it does not stop there, because women often get sexually aroused by their geldings and stallions, and things happen..... The end result is women should only own mares. When you choose a horse, choose one that is the same sex as you, and you'll eliminate most of the sexual temptations, acusations, and possibly even some lawsuits, if someone believes you are fornicating with your horse and they contact the authorities, because you could be arrested, since having sex with animals is against the law in the USA, and even if you own the horse, you will be charged and fined or imprisoned, and probably have your horse taken away. Why risk the hassles. Be safe and avoid the temptations, the urges, and the legal issues. Never buy a horse that's the opposite sex.
>>3582701>Always buy a horse that's the opposite sexftfy. Nice pasta btw. She definitely knows.
>>3582701>any lonely male, out in the woods with only his mare, looking at her long flowing mane, muscular body, and large dark eyes,
>>3583115as it should be
>>3583161nothing should be
>>3583258only horse shall be
>>3583272what a cutie
>>3583272a pleasing head
>>3581932maybe he became a chad for his horse
>>3581698They're not dumb at all. Maybe if totally neglected and not trained well they might be off but not dumb.
>>3580887Why does it wear the mask
>>3582701Whoever cunt came up with this didn't think this through
What species of hummingbird is this?
fresh >>3583806fresh >>3583806
>>3583814Why are you dumping images?
>>3583820Why are you new
>>3583820horse general always starts of (few posts early) with a couple themed images and then it goes over to the usual madness
nothing beats this feeling
>>3584000Someday, I want to take a horse and some camping gear and just live out in the wilderness for a week or so.Leaving everything behind must be an amazing feeling, even if only for a week.
>>3584000Checked./wg/ poster detected. 8/10 match.