During HS I was a major sperg, so i befriended my main group of friends who only care about gaming/anime.Fast forward a couple of years and I was able to overcome my aspies through a ton of therapy, only to realize that my only friends are spergs who never want to go out and all they do is sit around playing vidya/watching anime all day long. I wanna start going to clubs and getting with girls but none of them are interested in those things at all, and i feel like I'm wasting my youth by being stuck with them (I'm 23).Have any of you been in a situation like this and, if so, what did you do to turn it around?
Bumping cus in a similar situation
>>29017729I mean here you are posting frogs on 4chan on Friday night so you're not completely as removed from them as you'd like to think.There's no cool hipster indie rock nerd bars where you live? goth clubs? barcades? Even spergs go out and fuck.t. sperg
>>29017742Its not like I have anyone else to go with as I've said
>>29017757who cares a lot of those places are filled with other loners and whatnot, you can make new friends and meet new people there.It's only in the turbonoormie shit nightclubs that you have to go out in groups of like eight or nine
>>29017729Bump, in the exact same position. I try helping them get their shit together but they still work seasonal jobs or NEET and refuse to move away from family.They're slowly, VERY slowly improving, but it's sad seeing them waste away in their coom caves at 23.
>>29017798have you been able to make friends at bars?
>>29017921no the main place where I usually make new friends but yeah
>>29017729Companionship is nice. But go out and try to hook up with girls at clubs if you want. Considering you’re posting on 4chan Friday you probably aren’t extroverted enough. So you’re kinda just complaining your nerdy friends can’t pull your nerdy ass a girl.
>>29017729>Have any of you been in a situation like this and, if so, what did you do to turn it around?you're allowed to have other friends
>>29017921Most bar flies I know talk to the other bar flies there and the bartender, and maybe after years they meet a couple other people. I actually did what you are trying to do for awhile sometimes with success but mostly it was a waste of money and time. I don’t really like drinking much tho I realized. More of a pothead and coffee addict.
>>29017910>refuse to move away from family.Moving out right now is not the best idea if theyre all neets that have 0 marketable skills. You'd just be fucking them over.If anything just motivate them to go out with you to small places.>Hey anon let's go out and eat>how about a film?>Wanna walk around?>>29017921>have you been able to make friends at bars?Not a good place to make valuable friends anon
>>29017936im not extroverted enough to go alone, is it even normal to go out alone?
>>29017938the problem is where to make more friends
bumping
>>29017729I'm in the opposite situation. I got a sperg friend group and they still watch anime/play vidya, but they all have gfs and go to bars and conventions together, and one has a kid now. Whereas I spent the last few years of free time solely going to work, going home and watching anime/vidya by myself What made you quit your "sperg" habits?
>>29017921Concerts, stand-up bars, points of interest, festivities +++
>>29018009It’s not not normal.
>>29017989>Moving out right now is not the best idea if theyre all neets that have 0 marketable skills. You'd just be fucking them over. I have a spare bedroom I've been offering them for free until they could get a job just to get closer to opportunities, and then I'd be charging them super cheap rent just to lighten the load while I'm in school; I have an awesome setup and they like hanging out at my place anyway.>If anything just motivate them to go out with you to small places. >>Hey anon let's go out and eat >>how about a film? >>Wanna walk around? I try, but they're way out of the city and don't have cars; it's tough footing the gas bill all the time.
>>29018223are their gf's hot? why would they be with spergs? Also how old is your friend group
>>29018475>are their gfs hotNo, and neither are they>how old24-26
>>29018586desu i could have had a gf by i don't really want to settle with an ugly girl
>>29018429>I try, but they're way out of the city and don't have cars; it's tough footing the gas bill all the time.Are these niggers really that broke? Fuck.
>>29018612>i don't really want to settle with an ugly girlYou'll probably have to because you're American.
>>29018651Im...not tough? Why did you assume that?I live in Iberia
>>29018641No car, no job, no education no training, NNEET.
>>29017729You can and should go to a club without your friends. Dudes that go to clubs with a pack of friends, aspie friends or wannabe puas doesn't matter, never get laid.You don't need your friends to be into all the same hobbies as you only that they have your back and are loyal. If you're truly past your aspieness you'd go to a club by yourself and dance with a random slut instead of bitch about it on 4channel.
>>29017729I can give you the perspective of one of the loser sperg friends, if that helps. My friends mostly just went off and made new friends who wanted to go drinking and fucking bar sluts and shit while I continued playing videogames and ignoring the outside world. Joke's on them, those "former losers" are now all tied down with kids to shitty women who left them. That's what you get for finding the mothers of your children at a bar I guess.
>>29018906Do you go out alone? If so what is the experience like?
>>29017742damn i wish there were goth clubs around me but im in the midwest
>>29017921Not him but yes.>>29017729I just realized, out of my group of five friends, all of them are pretentious losers and are lying about their lay count/virginity. Many women acquaintances have shown me chat logs from them and [my friends] even go to a point where they spam women all day long desperately or even send them memes. I was fucking surprised since they always bragged about how much sex and women they got and how I was the only one who barely got any dates or short term relationships. You know what's the funniest thing about all of this? They NEVER had time to hang out with me. Not at all. But I checked with some girls the day and hour they were trying to schedule a date, and [my friends] schedule was fucking free for them looking at the chats. Of course I'm not going to snitch to my friends, as this was something unsolicited and those girls just decided to tell me, but holy fuck they're fucking traitorous losers who never truly cared about me. How fucking hard is it to find one (1) loyal, honest friend?
>>29017729>AlsoIt's ok to go out alone. That's what I've been doing for the last 4 weeks. It's way more liberating and I don't feel like a fucking dead weight.
>>29018961but still lonely. how do u talk to ppl without coming across as a creep
>>29018972You just... talk to them..? I don't know man. The one fear I have is *getting killed*, and that's out of a childhood trauma I have and I'm currently dealing with, but I don't think you should worry about being creepy. If a mindfucked guy like me is able to talk with strangers at bars and slowly getting rid of his phobia of women after some rough trauma, then so should you be able to.
>>29018982How do you even have the courage to go out out alone and talk to girls at bars? That shit seems alien to me
>>29018939It's chill. Going to a club on my own is way better than with friends. Never got laid going with friends. Girls see a bunch of guys looking at them it creeps them out puts them on defence. Girls see just one dude dancing doing his own thing it's less intimidating I guess. That or I just give less fucks without friends to judge me for striking out idk but it's funner than posting on 4channel alone.
>>29019012>but it's funner than posting on 4channel alone.people post on here with others? or am i just retarded reading this?
>>29019024We do yes, like alot
>>29019080once i did it with a discord friend, idk if that counts prolly not. we were raiding a thread together
>>29019012I might try going alone someday then>>29019091I would say it doesn't, btw what thread were you raiding?
>>29019096>I would say it doesn't, btw what thread were you raiding?/mu/'s /metal/ kek
>>29019114Kek, why did you raid it?
>>29019140It's easy to spam cause they buttheads at every opinion they disagree with. It's just kinda fun to troll, i like metal too so yk.U ever done that or do u have a life?
>>29019004Unironically practice my friend. Again I just started doing this 3 weeks ago so I'm building courage. I admit it tho, the first week I was shitting my pants at the bar alone. By the second I wasn't that scared from going to bars alone. By the third I was able to talk to some girl at the bar. You build that little by little and you get used to it.
>>29020568Sounds like a good strategy, but again why do you prefer to go out alone than with friends?
>>29017729You need to think less and act more. Theres a funshortcut - alcohol (its better if you have your car, more pussy too)
>>29021358I already told you here >>29018957Because I have no friends. Or rather, my "friends" are much more inclined on ghosting, flaking, bailing and being desperate needy orbiters for women. Then I started going out alone and realized, I'm no longer constrained by my "friends" and can be authentic around people. Bad company is much worse than no company at all.
>>29021371That sucks man, hopefully you can make better friends
>>29017729>my main group of friends are all loosersYeah, and I'll bet they don't even know how to spell LOSER.
Bumping
>>29017729Everyone's old high school friends are losers anon. If it wasn't gaming, it would be drugs instead.
>>29017729Get out of the bucket and never lock back.They are hopeless."feeling lonely" is just an illness.You can improve yourself without nobody around.Seek the company of people better than you, not the reverse.
Disconnect and order to connect. Sometimes, God has to move people out because certain things cannot manifest around certain people so let God do his thing and the acceleration is automatic. Oh, yes. Mmmmm.
>>29020568Anon, you still around?
Honestly, you're young enough that those friends could all rapidly change into normies in a few years along with yourself. My advice is not to cut them off (unless they're actually toxic in some way) but spend less time with them. Clubs aren't the only places to get girls, and getting girls will always be easier with friends even if you think they're losers. Try to get them to go with you to conventions or gaming related meetups where some girls might be. The benefit of doing this is you get what you want, have easy conversational go-to with the women and can fall back on your old friends if the gf thing doesn't work out. Maybe it'll even help them see they can break out of that lifestyle too. My final piece of advice would be to look at those living the lifestyle you want to lead. Research them and see if that's what you want to be doing with your time cause that's 90% going to be your relationship with that new friend group.change your mindset and realize "losers" are subjective and that you can mold your old lifestyle to fit in with one you more currently identify with. It doesn't have to be all at once either. Take it from someone who did all those things you want to do and realized its all BS.t. did the same thing. Made some mistakes.
>>29022958>change your mindset and realize "losers" are subjective and that you can mold your old lifestyle to fit in with one you more currently identify with. It doesn't have to be all at once either. Take it from someone who did all those things you want to do and realized its all BS.Can you elaborate on this?
My friends aren’t losers but I’m in a similar position. When they’re not working, they don’t want to go out. They just want to play video games and watch shows/anime. When they do want to go out, it’s to some boring cafe or a movie theatre lol. They don’t care about getting girls like me. It’s so frustrating though. We never did anything in high school. Now that I look better at 21, I can’t have fun. I tried going to bars by myself. It was so cringe.
>>29023073OP hereExactly the same situation as you bro, my only salvatioj is that there is 1 friend on my group that isnt a looser (hes on his second gf now) and ive been able to meet some of his more outgoing friends (2 of them to be exact), hopefully i cant start going out with them more.
>>29023127can start*
>>29017729no i had the opposite situation, all my friends were high iq genius types and they all become highly successful, my parents and environment fucked me so i fell behind. you are wasting your time hanging out with losers, hang out with no one honestly having friends is almost pointless unless everyone is on the same page as in not putting on any airs or fronts. very few people will actually be interested in your well being as a person or be trying to love you like family would. it's better to attempt to make your own family while being alone , if you're successful and powerful people are attracted and you decide who comes in. just make yourself powerful fuck friends and bitches. you need to be in a position where people want to be in your family or make one with you. everyone else is a waste of time and will probably do damage to you like getting you hooked on a drug or wasting time at bars or some stupid shit. nobody wants to expand your taste in music or raise your iq or earn you money together or something . nobody wants to learn about you and most people arent interesting or thought out enough to learn much about
>>29022955Yes
>>29018651what is it with this site and complaining about america?
>>29022990Sure.So you might view your friends as losers because you have intimate knowledge of their failures and successes others do not have. Playing video games alone these days does not make one a loser, especially not in your 20s. You should ideally be working a job or studying something though.As for molding your lifestyle, once you realize "going out to clubs" for instance isn't just something you "do" but a set of behaviors (buying club clothes, drinking/drugs, staying out late, drama and being trashy sometimes, pre-clubbing) you can start to think about if thats something you could see yourself doing for a while. Will you make it your main activity? Or will you have it be an aspect of your main lifestyle. Mostly you have to think about where you'd like to spend your time, and who with. This will often come with sacrifices in some other part of your life. (e.g Less gaming/anime, more clubbing til you get a gf)In the end your goal is to get a gf, so it doesn't matter what lifestyle you choose really, only that you're happy living it because it's likely going to be your main activity as you get to know your girl. If you like her enough then you can introduce her to other hobbies and values of yours and if she takes to them and values align, then you've found someone worth investing in.Hopefully that helps to clear things up a bit anon!
>>29023338> nobody wants to learn about you and most people arent interesting or thought out enough to learn much aboutI disagree with this but I understand your viewpoint because of the parents and environment thing. I hope you get out of whatever situation you're in anon.However I will say that everyone has at least some aspect of them that is interesting. I believe its our jobs to find it. Almost every person I've met is amazing in some way, and when you view the world like this its so much easier to get genuinely interested in others, and have them be interested in you in turn.
>>29023338What a shallow self absorbed world-view. Reads like a 14 year old writing a journal entry
>>29017729I am in this exact position. I've been going out to bars and clubs alone but it's difficult.
>>29023521Got any tips anon? How is your friend group like?
>>29017729>loosersI wouldn't be your friend either
>>29023498It does anon. Thank you.
>>29024408My only advice is to try and learn to enjoy the club/bar just for the sake of it. If you're only going to talk to girls and you don't get anywhere, you're gonna get demoralized real quick.My friends are socially adjusted nerds like myself but they just don't care about girls as much as I do. They all have an "if it happens it happens" mindset so they're not interested in joining me on nights out.
>>29024972Sounds like my friends lmao, seriously what do they think will happen? That a girl will just fall on their lap? If they keep going on this path all of them will die alone
>>29024993Their lives are much more eventful than mine so they can afford to do that. Women don't exist in my daily life so I pretty much have to go to bars and clubs. Modern life sucks.
>>29025018Eventful? Could you elaborate on that?
>>29017729Only way you get out of being friends with losers is to do things losers don't do. Which is be above average in income, if you can't do that then do things that people who are above average income do on their spare time. Tennis, golf, soccer, football, abseiling, diving, boating, hiking, racetrack driving, yoga class/taichi or something similar, go to fancy restaurants and sit there with your laptop and order coffee after coffee. If none of this appeals to you then you'll just go out to have sex with random women (juice not worth squeeze) hang out with people who are semi alcoholics, desperados, casual cocaine addicts or pill addicts. Best friends you can have is spergs who hang out play Vidya and watch anime. Doesn't matter what social class you belong to, if you're not fulfilled in yourself you will never be fulfilled anywhere you go. If you want genuinely cool friends the best thing you can do is get genuinely good at a craft or trade, for example I made a lot of electronic music, went to university as an engineer, met a lot of people with similar interests and goals, some very cool people. Another option is to go to university and live on campus and study something. You get friends for free if you just sit in the common areas and be weird, I sat in the common areas and just smoked ciggies all day and talked to everyone who walked past about anything. Heaps of people lonely and also looking for friends just love to chat...
>>29017910Trust me, it's even worse in your 30's. I'm friends with a bunch of jackasses who either want to do the bare minimum or they simp on their fat fuck gfs' every second. Im the only one concerned with hard work now so that I have an easier life later
>>29023521Ugh I fucking hate that this is your absolute last option to befriend others and meet women. I love a beer, but its way more fucking annoying when a group of faggots are being loud or when you're trying to talk and damn near breaking your vocal chords. I much prefer more social events like a fair, or anime convention but at this point only weirdos and families frequent those. I feel like bars and clubs are speed run shit, gotta hurry up and wow someone before the lights come on and ppl scatter like roaches.
>>29025335You can make new friends even in your 30's anon
>>29025354No I know that but it's more annoying cause your 30's is your do or die era as a man. Im just frustrating because my friends think we're still 21. I'm especially annoyed with my best friend cause all the faggot does is give analogies on why his life sucks, but he lives with 2 cats and only works 5-6hrs a day for bullshit money and spends the majority of his time playing ps4 and going to burlesque shows. You want your friends to be as locked in as you are and its unfortunate when you see they aren't. Im going on 33 and my only concern is making money so I can afford a new car, an apartment, possibly knocked up my gf after I save enough, and basically do what men my age have done for generations. I'm not looking at the next fucking Tekken game or why bums are scary at night, im over that college level bullshit.
>>29025384I understand your situation anon, if this helps you in anyway i pray that you will be able to make better friends
>>29025450Thanks anon bro. Me as well.
>>29021649It’s loooooosah, right?
>>29017729>I wanna start going to clubsAbout on-par with anime/vidya in terms of degeneracy >Getting with girlsWhy do you need your friends to help you get girls? Wtf is this post? You sound like a horrible friend, only thinking about what you can get out of friendships.
>>29017729>My friends are so autistic, and I've changed and wanna make new friendsGreat, you do that.>Waah, but I wanna go to the club and hit on girls.Not a good idea, bud, that's STD Town, and you don't wanna get syphilis or HPV. Also, consider how shallow you sound. Your friends don't mess around, and just watch anime and play video games. You could enjoy your time with them like you've always had. Don't trash your friends because you feel like they're not good enough for you anymore. Try to hang out with them, and enjoy your time. Lusting over whores is a waste of your time, and if you think that's a good idea and pursue anyway, you reap what you sow, anon. A life of Lust for the sake of lust, will leave empty and hollow. At least you have friends who give a shit about you, don't abandon them.
>>29027160>only to realize that my only friends are spergs who never want to go out and all they do is sit around playing vidya/watching anime all day long.Your reading comprehension is shit.
>>29027053>only thinking about what you can get out of friendships.Lets be honest, all friendships are based on what you can get out of the other person, be that thing material/emotional or even sexual. Otherwise whats the point of having friends?
>>29017729I'm in the same situation and I reckon a lot of people are. I was not really an aspie in HS or college, but just a typical STEM nerd and I wasn't interested in drinking. Now my only friends are men, zero women, and they don't want to go out to bars or clubs with me because they only want to play videogames on the weekends. Or they want to "chill" at their own house "for old time's sake". It's strange to me how many people are still so into videogames even as they get older.
>>29028132I actually have some female friends, but all their otheir friends are currently engaged, just my luck i guess
>>29028045I used to think it was about what you can offer other people, but then I got sad when they didn't reciprocate and they said what that other guy said.
