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I've got to give an oration. Poems? Music? Five minute silence?
>I've got to give an oration
bro wtf dont orate me at my funeral
Too late you're dead your resistance is now minimal, other than where we can carry you to.
Whats even the point of that plot. Person lost control and died pathetically, miserable. No sugar coating or whitewashing is possible. That person's death is a grim reminder of the lack of dignity that really is human existence.
Dignity is what we are providing. Or it's the council incinerates the corpse and the next day is a Wednesday, type thing.
Right, that makes sense.
For the mood, do some reading. Something for the crowd that admits that life is tough but not to take it so seriously. Probably a passage from a world lit classic novel
"In memory of anon, im gonna empty this bottle of whiskey within two minutes."
*gulp. *gulp. *gulp.
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That's a definite possibility.

More Ted Hughes than Simon Armitage, I'm thinking.

Does anyone know any dying of beer poems? Bukowski I suppose, maybe something by Coleridge?
Email local coffee shops and bars and aks for recommendations. Not joking.
I was shocked to hear that friendAnon had passed.
My name is Jeff
Would you like a hymn? Flowers? What sort of thing?
"I just want you all to know, it wasn't the alcohol that killed him, it was the hangover."
Play written all over your face by Rude boys and I'll be satisfied
I first met friendAnon intYears ago when strFriend was still alive and lodged with friendAnon. Quite how it was that I came to sit at his table in the pub I can't remember.
To extol the virtues of friendAnon.
He didn't really do anything apart from drink Abbot ale and smoke cigarettes.
Didn't cause any drama
Fancied femAnon
Drank IPA
Smoked super kings
Wearer of parka coats all year round
Never paid a TV license
Or worked since 1980 something
Had a calming presence
Nice to be around
Always glad to see him
Will be missed
Sad that he is gone
Would that the Lord had taken someone more deserving
He was mysterious
Don't know much about his past
Or why he ended up in this town
Worked in a fish and chip shop once
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I was shocked to learn that friendAnon had passed and I imagine that some of you were as well. strfemFriend has asked me to say a few words, and it was in her company that I first met friendAnon. friendAnon was something of an enigmatic presence when I first started frequenting thePub and he exuded the idea that he had been there for quite a while. To say that I got to know friendAnon is to be able to say that he was very good company, and an understated and unassuming person. A more harmless gentleman I doubt we will ever meet. To witness friendAnon's passion raised was rare indeed.
A toast!
Hang on I haven't finished.
'A genuinely harmless soul', I want to get that in there.
Just burn my body and throw the ash in the ocean. No rituals.
i would want you to do the plane scene
as both bane and cia
P'raps just say he liked beer and leave it at that.
My dear friend,

As I stand here alone, gazing upon your final resting place, my heart aches with a profound sense of loss. We shared countless moments of laughter, tears, and deep connection, and now I find myself grappling with the harsh reality of your untimely departure.

Alcoholism may have stolen you away from us, but it cannot erase the memories we forged together. I remember the bright spark within you, the person whose laughter could light up a room and whose friendship was an anchor in the storms of life. Your presence brought joy and warmth to those fortunate enough to know you, and I was privileged to have been one of them.

Yet, I also witnessed the battles you faced, the demons that haunted you, and the struggle you endured against the clutches of addiction. I hoped and prayed that you would find solace, healing, and freedom from this relentless affliction. I wanted to see you conquer your demons, to witness you rise above the darkness that threatened to consume you.
Please know that despite the heavy burden of guilt I carry within my heart, I also carry a deep understanding that alcoholism is a formidable foe. It takes hold of even the strongest among us, distorting our judgment and tearing us away from the things we hold dear. You were not weak, my friend, but rather a casualty of a battle that countless others face each day.

Today, as I stand alone at your graveside, I promise to remember you not for the struggles you faced, but for the person you were—the one who touched my life in immeasurable ways. I will cherish the memories we created, the laughter we shared, and the unbreakable bond we forged throughout the years.

In death, you may feel isolated and forgotten, but please know that your absence leaves an indelible void within the hearts of those who knew and loved you. Your story, though marked by pain and loss, will serve as a reminder to us all of the fragility of the human spirit and the importance of reaching out, of showing compassion and understanding to those who are suffering.

Rest now, my dear friend, in the peace that eluded you in life. May your troubled soul find solace in a realm beyond our understanding. And as time passes, may the world remember not only the struggles that defined your journey, but also the beautiful person you were before addiction took its toll.

You may be gone, but you will never be forgotten.

With heartfelt love and eternal remembrance,
[Your Name]
I want you to go through my folder of original songs and choose the best ones, then hire a post-rock/psychedelic style band to play them at my funeral. They are the only way I know how to communicate my feelings to others.
It's not really friendAnon to be honest. Thanks for the effort. There was no struggle nor any demons. It was more a pint of Abbot and then staring into space. He wasn't the most animated of chaps, he really let the beer do the thinking.
Noisy and lots of effects pedals. Whig out! Ok.
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That we're not gong to see him turning the corner in his anorak in the blazing sunshine for the first pint of the day we know that we have lost a friend.

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