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/adv/ - Advice


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Hi /adv/ Monkbro here to answer any questions you might have about Buddhism or Meditation, I've been living as a Buddhist Monk since 2018 and have found it to be a really helpful way of stabilizing and empowering the happiness and freedom of my mind.

I also set up a Discord server for this 4chan advice thread if you'd like to come and talk with your Voice.

https://discord*gg/Th6eZAV8N5
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whats it like being a deadbeet loser? whats your goal in life?
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Do you get to learn kung fu?
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>>28575209
Will heiling Hitler help me break the cycle of suffering
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>>28575209
Good morning, monkbro. Good to see you again.
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I'm here!
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>>28575209
How long have you been on nofap for? How many days worth of cum have you got stored up in those big bodhisattva balls?
Be honest.
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>>28575260
I think I met you once in the Buddhism Hotline discord back when it was in crisis. Good to see you again.
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https://youtube.com/shorts/rEJtNjoa6Mc?feature=share
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>>28575209
Are lay people who go to temple and pray to Sakyamuni Buddha and Amitabha Buddha to make them rich and cure their diseases and get the children married basically wasting their time? The idea of curing disease seems to be rooted in a desire to end dukka but the other things seem like requests for generic miracles.

Didn't Sakyamuni Buddha essentially pass from this world when his body died so is powerless to affect this world? He didn't really seem interested in being a wish granting genie anyway, saying that was the sort of things the gods were for.

Maybe related, does a prayer to Avalokiteshvara for the supplicant himself to be more compassionate have any effect? Does om mani padme hum recitation have any benefit other than the generic regulated breathing, and possibly excluding unwholesome thoughts?


>>28575260
That's a gorgeous wreath. Are they artificially coloured? Are they helping to keep your head warm because while your smile is warm the weather looks cool.

I've got to run monkbro so the thread might die before I can get back to it and say read and thank you. Please accept my gratitude in advance and my assurance that if you have time and inclination to answer, I shall read your response bar some misadventure like dying or computer error.
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>>28575209
what separates the real Buddhists from the new age wannabe Buddhists
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Why follow a paradoxical doctrine. You wish to eradicate desire but that is still a desire. Follow Christianity, it offers philosophy and salvation.
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>>28575209
Is lucid dreaming a form of meditation?
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>>28575471
If we are doing some activity that promotes wholesome states of mind and a contemplative introspective and hopeful way of being then that's always worthwhile to be involved with.

So in that way when we are practicing meditation to chant the name of a bodhisattva.

Or to recite any kind of mantra The effect is really about the intention and if it is bringing about more wholesome states of mind then we can say it's worthwhile.

>>28575586
I'm not sure what you mean by that.

If someone is practicing meditation following the Buddhist teachings and putting them into practice then you can consider them a Buddhist.

Not too much gatekeeping is necessary in terms of Buddhism.

>>28575649
Not quite, maybe it's more a form of play or exploration it's a dream right.

The meditation is practice of stopping stepping back letting go just sitting just breathing just being aware relaxing the body being still.

So if you're doing that and you're lucid dream then that will be meditation you can try for sure.

Anyone who's a skillful lucid dreamer should certainly try to meditate in their lucid dream.
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>>28575209
Why did you choose Buddhism?
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>>28575715
For me there there is no richer and more accessible avenue for understanding myself transforming suffering being a part of a community and also helping other people.

So it's really a natural choice from my experience.

But I came across it because I was in great deep suffering and had basically no real resources to deal with that suffering and that searching for a way out of suffering led me to the Buddhist path.
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>>28575719
I see
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How do I let go of my misanthropy and nihilism?
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Heya, monkbro.

Nice to meet you and all. Seen your threads but never wrote anything...

I've been having some problems with anxiety lately, which affects me in the waking and sleeping realms.

Trying to control it, I've taken to doing some deep breathing and trying to focus on that but my head still tends to run a million miles an hour.

Are there any particular tricks you've learned to help bring about a deeper level of meditation? I doubt I'll ever be perfect, but I'd like to get better because even my rudimentary attempts at deep breathing seem to make a big difference.

Anyway - hope you've been well. Nice to see you here again.
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>>28575209
Hi monk bro. Thank you for coming. I have one question for you, please: in your experience will a person usually hurt themselves if they are fasting most of the week? For example, I fast for 4 days a week to clear my mind and help my fitness.
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>>28575769
Leave your comfort zone and your usual regular environment of who you're interacting with and how you're interacting with them.

A lot of people our children they need help they need support they need care there's not much to hate about them or have negative ideas about them and they make up so much of humanity.

Also we were all children once we have that essence inside of us so don't be overly judgmental to people they act the way that they do because they suffer because they are not stronger.

Nihilism is just kind of you know it's not a worthwhile way to live because it's reductionist.

It's taking all of these experiences that you don't have and don't know about these other cultures societies people experiences etc that you have no even minimal taste of or knowledge of and it's saying oh all those things are just empty or negative whatever.

So throw it in the trash and be more explorative.

If you really want to be a nihilist you need to be an explorer you need to be someone who's tasted the River ganga and seeing the Sahara.

You know.

Anyways that's my take on it Just try to be hopeful and keep it moving.

If we just stay in one place our whole lives and we'll miss out on so much of what's out there so much of what is also us.
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>>28575209
glad to see you back monkbro
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>>28575785
Allow yourself to feel that anxiety breathe with it be with it without trying to get rid of it.

Just kind of ignore it but also accepting it not trying to get rid of it.

Guided meditations on YouTube by Ajahn Brahm.

He's really good for helping to get into a deep meditation.

Thanks for your friendly words.

>>28575798
4 days a week sounds a little bit excessive Just keep an eye on what you're doing.

And use your gut you know understand how what you're doing is affecting you and act accordingly.

If you find yourself getting very skinny or very tired or these kinds of things then you should adjust.

On the days you're not eating try to have a real nice smoothie or something like that.

Avocado greens banana etc.

Especially if you're making a habit of doing that every week get a nice blender or something and set yourself up so that you can have really nice nutritious smoothies maybe one meal a day that's just a liquid meal.
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>>28575800
I don't want to be a nihilist but when I look at reality I can't find any meaning in it
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>>28575820
Do something meaningful.
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>>28575209
How do I forgive myself for hurting and scaring someone I don’t want to be friends with anymore? I never meant to scare or seem obsessive as they said, they just stole something of value of mine that I held very dearly and I wanted it back because of the memories associated with it. I’m a young fool.

If I can ask a follow up question, how do I do the opposite of scare people?
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>>28575837
Recognize the fault the unskillfulness The way of being that went along with it.

All you've got to do is recognize.

From that point just ignore all the extra energy about it.

Move on to be more wise more skillful adjust your position and way of being in relationship to your recognition that you don't want to be that kind of person.

More careful more slow more gentle and be like that moment by moment.

But don't feed the complicated thinking about that negative situation or that mistake.

We all make mistakes and we can all continue and we can all be free.
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>>28575871
I will act with more intention, and I won’t let myself be caught in my mistakes. Thank you for your insight, it feels very freeing. Have a pleasant afternoon.
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>>28575812
I'll check him out and keep in mind what you said. Thanks, my man!
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>>28575209
What do you think of the perennial wisdoms and syncretisms in different philosophies and religions? Do you suppose there are many ways to strike the golden stuff that is enlightenment/beatific vision/gnosis whatever you'd prefer to call it -- that everyone has their own path to the center?
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how often do you cum or how often do you have sex ?
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what was your life like before you became a monk ?
what did you do / study / work ?

also on a side note: I hate my life because my job is boring as fuck and my only way currently to improve my situation is to go to college this year in my mid 20s
what would you do ? i am not entirely convinced my situation will improve, also add in the usual depression / anxiety / trauma
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>>28575209
I'm Catholic and joining the Carthusians soon (an order of contemplative hermit monks who spend most of their time meditating alone in silence) - any advice you have on meditation that you feel transcends religious boundaries?
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Help this brother out - javascript:quote('28576128');
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>>28576177
bad link
>>28576128
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>>28575264
>he doesn't answer
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I fuckin hate this guy so fuckin much always popping in here to post selfies of his giant nose and plug his discord channel

t. buddhist
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>>28575713
>If we are doing some...
Thank you Monkbro.
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>>28577059
As opposed to you who pops in here with a pointless post promoting hate and lust.

If you are a Buddhist he's giving you a good and rather easy chance to practice this eternal principle

>Hatred is never appeased by hatred in this world. By non-hatred alone is hatred appeased. This is a law eternal.
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>>28575800
Some knowledge is impossible. Some mountains are impassable. My Nihilism is the same as my legs and body.
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Good morning. Welcome to ask any questions.

Will do my best to give a clear answer~
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I find this very helpful.

Also here is a really deep and powerful talk on the topic of dealing with depression.

https://youtu.be/4N_jjY7W_fs
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>>28580065
Hello monkbro, no idea how much reading you do or whatever but for me the dao de jing and the way of zen have massively improved my personal life. Is there any other reading material you would recommend or maybe advice on what other things to do/study to better understand myself/these teaching. Have a fantastic day.
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>>28576025
Yeah I think there are many good avenues for developing oneself to have a deeper understanding about the truth and freedom and freeing oneself from suffering.

Buddhism in particular has a lot to offer.

>>28576140
Before I became Monk I had a normal life and I was living in Seattle smoking weed playing video games had a girlfriend had a nice car nice job nice place to live etc etc.

Save up some money and leave the country travel.

It's one of the biggest things that has shifted my perspective is to see how big the world is and know that I'm not locked into one particular way of being or living.

>>28576141
Sure Buddhist meditation is mainly focused on training the mind and relaxing and stabilizing and deepening our relationship with reality in the present moment.

So it's not very religious Buddhist meditation is not particularly religious.


When it comes to practicing celibacy or no fap I think it can be very helpful but also in Buddhism that's not like prescribed for regular people to practice no fap.

It's more important to have a healthy stable relationship with sexuality and be very careful to not harm yourself or to harm other people with your sexual actions.

A lot of the nofap stuff is overblown.

You don't become a superhero you don't get special powers you know it's just the power of letting go can become the power of rejecting and rejecting is really a big issue.

Anything that makes you feel arrogant better than other people that's going to be a problem.

That's going to cause more suffering and limit you and your capacity to help yourself and to help others.
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>>28580474
Find a meditation/Buddhist/volunteering community near you.

Also try some stuff by Thich Nhat Hanh whatever you can get your hands on
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>>28580480
that's the foulest pizza ive ever seen
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Hey monkbro,

Props for the thread and for spreading proper positivity.

My questions are how did you manage to quit weed and how can I manage to make meditation into a habit?

Weed currently is my only real vice (I don't drink, smoke cigarettes, party all the time, etc.) and I can feel that it is holding me back to an extent. However, I currently have 3 part time jobs, university work, regular workouts, a gf to take care of, it's practically the only drug I find enjoyment in and it really helps me take the edge off. Plus I really enjoy smoking with my gf and it really contributes to some great lovemaking.

I think meditation could help me with my weed problem, but I can't make it stick for more than a month. After a month or so I slowly become inconsistent and eventually drop it untill I start again and the cycle continues. So any tips on macking meditation stick?

Thank you in advance!
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>>28575209
Yo monkbro!

Is it possible to be a buddhist and a member of another religion? I have been wondering this for sometime because I genuinely feel that I benefit from multiple traditions and find it difficult to pick between them.

Secondly, what is the best way to safely practice meditative asceticism by yourself? I sometimes set myself extreme challenges of self-denial, such as not eating for a week or not speaking to other human beings for extended periods of time. However, I cannot determine if this comes from a place of good intent. I wonder if I am just challenging myself to prove something, or if these are genuine spiritual exercises to release myself from pain and suffering?
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>>28580674
No OP, but yes. There are Catholic Buddhists for example.
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>>28575209
I'm a taoist, don't ask me anything.
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Bhante how do I drag myself out of the hole I dragged myself into? I can't bring myself to lose weight and to be serious about my meditation practice.
I break all precepts almost every day.
I kill roaches when needed
I pirate stuff online
I watch porn and masturbate
I lie, yell, act autistic, intentionally offend people, engage in idle chat and disgusting jokes the whole day.
I smoke weed every other week.

And I am scared shitless of going to hell. I also can't just put faith in Amitabha because I have no reason to believe the Mahayana Sutras are authentic.
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Venerable sir me again >>28580747

I am also obese and extremely hateful and experience feelings of pleasures in regards to seeing or hearing about women suffering.
Can you prescribe me something?
Do I need to do metta every day for an hour?
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I'm a people pleaser from childhood trauma and am always used by friends I make especially in groups.

Recently I thought I finally found a group that I thought I was "close and good" with but one in the group who I thought I was close with started to literally textbook manipulate me. I did not realize this until I was discarded.

I have spent my whole life going around from group to group mostly being a loner for years in between. I do not mind the solitude and I prefer it because I'm conditioned to avoid groups but a group of actual friends to do things with would be kind of cool I would imagine.

I understand they do so because I am vulnerable and portray myself as a loser. Is it even possible to be vulnerable open up and not be seen as weak? Especially as a male. Or maybe I am just unlikeable and insufferable. Generally I am just very negative and critical but always with jest or without ill will. But how do I learn to stand up for myself to not be used by others.

Captcha is PTSD82
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>>28580674
>Is it possible to be a buddhist and a member of another religion?

As a general rule, no.

A Buddhist is someone who takes refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha. A Christian is someone who achieves Salvation by accepting Christ Jesus as their personal Saviour. Salvation does not exist as a concept in Buddhism. There is no Redeemer who will forgive you your sins in Buddhism, there aren't even any sins. You perform wholesome or unwholesome acts that tie you or free you. You Awaken by your own effort. You do not rely upon a once and for all Divine Judgment just for believing or not that some dude died for your sins.

While some ethics and values may be the same and you can mix certain (heterodox or even heretical) practices, the religions themselves are fundamentally incompatible. If you believe that Christ is the Redeemer then you deny core tenets of Buddhism. If you believe that Shakyamuni is the Buddha then you deny that there is a Redeemer.

You might take the attitude that Christ Jesus is a Buddha sent to the West but that is to deny the Salvific role of the Christ which is central to Christianity.

If you reject the core teachings of a religion then you are not an adherent of that religion. You are something different.

Other similar arguments can apply to other Abrahamic religions.

It may be possible to hold to two religions for things like Christianity and Shinto or Buddhism and Shinto.

In the first pairing maybe you could make offerings to kami knowing them to be spirits but you might be risking your immortal soul by trafficking with spirits or even demons which is condemned in the Christian Bible.

In the second pairing you would be propitiating gods. Contrary to popular misunderstanding, the historical Buddha did not gods deny exist, he just had no use for them. Mahayana Buddhism has adopted gods from other religions calling them buddhas and bodhisattvas. If you say Christ Jesus is a buddha you're saying you're Buddhist not Christian.
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>>28575209
Hello wanted to ask, givin for granted that killing someone is bad for yourself and generates bad karma, would killing a man that you know is about to kill, say, 5 other people be bad? Would the karma sum out and you would be in positive?
Also how to pratiharya?
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>>28575209
Do you believe it is possible to achieve enlightenment through other traditions than buddhism or are you a religious exclusivists?



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