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/adv/ - Advice

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>fail at life
>semi-neet shutin
>piss off my online friends
>not really talking to anyone on a daily basis
>spend inordinate amount of time in an mmo
>get invited to a guild after having been brought in to help with a raid
>slowly get to know them all
>consider them actual friends
>talking in VC every day now
>one of the few female members opens up about how her and the guild lead were trying to do an LDR but he suddenly became really cruel to her, insulting her ability "as a joke" all the time, commanding her to do things, forcing her to play a support role then shittalking her when she inevitably doesn't have much dps
>encourage her to push back, tell stories of times I've been treated similar by colleagues and by players in the game who used to be nice friends that then became toxic in a similar way
>"I don't recommend this way of life to anyone because it's left me without many friends, but when I've been in that situation I just completely stopped talking to them."
>farming some shit together
>talking about how I need to move from my shit country, we're talking through potential countries
>she says the US, I say it's too hard to move into, she says I need to find a single woman to get me a green card
>she's a single woman from the US but I decide not to make that joke cause I don't wanna seem like a creep
>she goes back and says, "I'm a single woman in the US...", conversation continues but she realises I'm way too young for her, I protest that a little and she goes on about how people tolerate that age gap for men, her parents are 15 years apart, but not for women
>later, she's gone and I'm farming with the guild lead (toxic guy)
>said something about how he's having "one of those days" and doesn't want much chatter from us

Picrel: my DMs with her
Orange = her
Blue = guy I thought I was good friends with
Magenta = guild leader
Green = the MMO
White = me
>we're farming and chatting
>guild leader (magenta) goes off (without her there) about how she's suddenly got a "big ego" and attributes it to the fact that she achieved something impressive ingame
>I ask for an example and he says she'll now question his gear recommendations "isn't this one better?" etc.
>given that the dynamic before was just him commanding her to equip certain gear and her obeying because he knows everything, it sounds like he's just mad she's standing up for herself
>as I'm silently typing quotes from the convo to her as I feel she should know, I realise that another guy in the call (blue guy) is streaming his screen and HE'S GOT DMS OPEN WITH THE GUILD LEADER TELLING HIM THAT I'M "A BIT SNITCHY TO HER"
>this is really shocking to me as I felt that me and blue had really become two peas in a pod, we'd say "I love you" to each other as friends and do two-part raid roles that felt like a duet, orange would say things like "you two are so cute."
>confront him on this
>squirms and gives a vague excuse about how he doesn't take sides and he's "just looking out for [his] homie"
>send a screenshot of his dm to guild lead (magenta) that he accidentally streamed, to orange

>continue farming with them
>mood is okay, we're joking around
>I make a joke in poor taste about how the guild lead never cares if I cause our group to fuck up but there are some members he'd kill in real life if they did it (I know, this was stupid and worded retarded even for a joke, and was a thinly veiled representation of my true feelings, something that I hate that he does. Again, fuckup of a "joke".)
>he doesn't really react
>orange is finished work, joins the call on her phone as she's going home
>mid way through a normal conversation I'm removed from the discord and ingame guild, I dm guild lead (magenta) and he blocks me

Picrel: my DMs with blue (guy I thought I was good friends with)
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Forgot picrel. Here it is.

>he removed me just after our group fucked up. I took the blame immediately because he never reacts strongly to when I cause a fuckup and it could be argued that the fuckup was my fault, many of us actively claim to have caused a fuckup to be modest rather than blame anybody.
>a bit later I dm the guild leader ingame and have this conversation:
Me: can we talk or am I just kicked no explanation? "break bread" etc etc? (he said he wanted to "break bread" with a guy who left over his shitty behaviour)
Him: You haven't talked enough today?
Him: <3 (he saw me type a heart like this to some shitty players who were being rude to me before)
Me: what? are you mad that you wanted a quiet run and I was being too chatty?
Me (a while later): you wanted to talk to [guy he wanted to break bread with] again but not me why?

Additional information:
- magenta is a trust fund kid
- magenta claims to have been with over 100 women, I believe it
- he told this to orange
- orange is about 32, magenta is about 27, I'm 21, blue is 21
- magenta favours blue and used to favour me. He criticises orange to her face a lot and talks behind other people's backs (low skill players usually) and thinks they're pathetic but keeps them around because he "feels bad for their shit life"
- magenta started being cruel to orange around October last year (she told me this, I didn't invent it)
- I met them in august
- I only became properly known in the guild recently, the last few weeks were amazing, I'd log on every morning and have fun with them all. I felt I had found real friends.
- we did some raids without magenta recently and had a great time. the mood was much better, people were chatting and joking around and having fun. we messed up more times than usual but no one got pissed off because it was way more chill than when we play with the toxic tryhards. orange was actively staying silent around magenta most of the time recently due to his behaviour.
Orange came online and I tried to call her, no answer. I said
>am I being paranoid or is everyone refusing to talk to me? what happen?
and got no response.

I'm upset because:
- Magenta had hours to fill their head with lies in VC and has been known to gaslight, Orange told me he gaslights then the next day we experienced a perfect example of him doing so
- no one made a group chat or anything so I could hear or respond to any of the possible lies he may have told or at least even know what's being said/no one updated me when I asked
- I thought blue was a good friend of mine, I thought we were two peas in a pod, I can't believe he was DMing that shit to magenta
- Orange and Blue had all night to update me and didn't
- Orange was listening to Spotify a while later so likely not VCing, that's when I sent my last my message to her and she didn't respond
- I was only trying to do good things, if I did something wrong and they explain it to me then I would feel sorry and I would apologise and genuinely mean it
- I feel like I'm the one on the backfoot here, when I was banned I was half hoping they would make a discord that Magenta is not admin of and invite me, I feel like I'm either cut off or it's being made to seem like I have to apologise for them to speak to me again even though I feel like I wasn't in the wrong.
- I'm a quasi-NEET who struggles to go outdoors to socialise no matter how hard I try, one outing could leave me exhausted for a week
- these were really my only friends right now, most people I know either are busy with partners and work schedules etc. or aren't friends anymore

- magenta knows what I said to orange in some form, she may have tactlessly DMed him in anger about one of the quotes
- magenta told them not to speak to me
Too many words. Stop playing video games with mentally ill faggots and you won't have this problem. That's the solution.
Perfect answer.

Op, you typed all that shit and I still don't understand the problem but I dont care. Find another guild, these people aren't your friends. Better yet, stop playing so much video games and do something rewl.
Possible scenarios:
- magenta called my bluff on that comment about selectively caring about who causes a fuckup
- magenta knows about orange joking that she should marry me into the US and about me saying how I've dropped people like him from my life and advised her to do the same
- Magenta thinks I'm trying to "steal his girl" and has said something to this effect or how I'm a creep
- magenta says "faggot" a lot. Maybe he doxxed me and told them I'm lgbt and they're bigoted too.
- they never liked me and kept me around till I got too annoying
- Orange wasn't as distant from Magenta as I thought, and was telling him what I said

Good resolutions:
- magenta invites me back and apologises, promises to be nicer in future
- the guild regulars make a guild without him and invite me

My fears:
- they all hate me and are going to stay in that guild without me
- they don't hate me but are completely under his thumb and won't stick their neck out for me, they all stay in that guild and I never get invited back because what the admin says goes
- magenta has concocted fake screenshots/lies about things I've done or said to turn them against me and made sure to stop them from telling me any of these alleged things so I have no recourse or way of knowing
- they never really liked me that much and this was all me way overstepping my bounds, and they all think I've been a snake going behind people's backs, maybe Orange didn't even appreciate me sending quotes from the convo and just thought it showed me to be untrustworthy

That said, there's one guy who's super annoying that they keep around even though they shittalk him all the time, so why not me?
A while ago I met a guy in the server somewhere else and asked him about what the dynamic is like because I couldn't tell if anyone even liked me, he said that guild lead (magenta) makes it pretty clear if he dislikes someone, they're just gone right away, so I guess this is that.
I tried to make friends IRL but I don't know how. College is remote. I barely have the energy to go out, and one social outing will have me exhausted for a week. I crave daily contact/conversation with others but can't exactly "go to the club" each night to get that nor do I have the money unless I was being a square bringing my own drinks.
I tried real hobbies and the local ones are full of people who are like the average /g/ user (but not about technology) constantly discussing what hardware they're gonna use and never actually making anything, nor being particularly nice.
I found online communities for the hobbies but they're either dead or toxic.
Also this MMO is something I can actually feel good at and make friends with people on equal footing. Where I can show off good stats but be humble and willing to help others which makes them more positive towards me. In real hobbies I fail and fail and waste my little money. For example I keep fucking shit up in my DIY electronics and it wastes enough money to really demotivate me. I wish I had friends. I wish I had a real life. These people made me feel pretty close to that, for a time.
That's how it goes dude. Don't rock the boat too much unless you're Chad enough (and dedicated enough) to replace him as leader. You have to understand your place in the social hierarchy. Also people can tell when you hate them... Magenta isn't stupid just because he's an ass, dummy
I guess. When I was a teen I successfully replaced the "chad" admin of a server with my own discord but that was stupid bs edrama.
I guess I fucked myself in that I had much more of a "younger sibling" vibe in this community, they taught me dirty words and said it would be "robbing the cradle" to date me. Hardly a "chad" that could ever motivate people to move off somewhere with me. Everyone seems to have gone along with this dude's gaslighting and elementaryschoolesque picking on girls to show you like them so I guess I never would've had the "social clout" unless I was like that too.
Fuck me, I hate life. I just want to spend time around people who don't make me feel that I have to rock the boat at all.
>Also people can tell when you hate them... Magenta isn't stupid just because he's an ass, dummy
you're right, though I never hated him. Even till the end I was starting positive conversations with him and asking him advice in a way that showed I valued what he had to say. He treated me well, too. I just wanted him to stop mistreating some of the others. I really did not hate him.
I'd like to understand... why did you encourage orange to stand up to magenta?
If you thought magenta was doing/saying things you didn't approve of, why didn't you confront magenta about in directly? What made you believe that being cloak and dagger, going behind others back and trying to ruin others' perception of each other, was a good idea?
Stepping in and manipulating others about their relationship with each other by showing your biased view of their situation... how did you think that would go?
If you dislike someone's behavior, why didn't you confront them? Why did you create drama and backstabbing within the group? Did orange ever ask for your help or advice? If not, then what business is it of yours to interfere?
You can't be friends if you're insincere in actions or words, and you showed you were both. Being an honest asshole is better than being a sneaky manipulator trying to change others from the shadows, so I'd say it's reasonable that they prefer magenta over you, especially if they've known magenta longer.
From my perspective you are almost fully responsible for your situation, because you instigated the whole thing by your deceptive misrepresentation of magenta to orange without magenta being able to respond to your criticism. Sort of what they are doing to you now.
Stop spending so much time and putting so much value in parasocial online "relationships" revolving around videogames you autistic childish retard. None of this is real life. None of your stupid 20 paragraph post matters. Grow up and go outside. She's not going to fuck you. None of these people are your friends. Get a fucking life dude.
>I'd like to understand... why did you encourage orange to stand up to magenta?
Because one night when it was just me, her, and one other in the VC, she told us all about how he acts and how long it's been going on. And how much it bothers her.
Until that point, I had just presumed it was normal. I don't really know what's "usual" and presumed that his level of ribbing towards her was just the kind of friendship they had. However, that night she made it abundantly clear that she wasn't okay with any of it, she was sick of it, and she wanted to go back to the way things were back in August.
>If you thought magenta was doing/saying things you didn't approve of, why didn't you confront magenta about in directly?
I did to the degree that it made sense. She made us promise that nothing that was said that night would leave that conversation. I wasn't about to confront him for things that I could only know were a problem based on privileged information. For example, no one knew that they were sorta-dating aside from one other woman in the guild.
One grievance she raised was that she was never allowed to do any of the complicated roles in raids despite having ample ability, if she was only given the chance to learn them.
The next day when we were raiding, we had less skilled players around than usual and he asked who'd do the counterpart to his role that's normally reserved for one of his favoured people.
I suggested that she do it, but she made a remark that she wouldn't be "allowed" to. When he asked again who was going to do it, I said her name, and he reluctantly taught her. She was happy to have learned it, and has been able to coach others through it from then on.
Later on when he had left the voice chat, she proudly proclaimed that she had learned to do that role, and thanked me for helping her "assert [her] dominance".
>Did orange ever ask for your help or advice?
She vented about the full situation, and said she didn't know what to do. She said her real life friends were concerned as she'd never seen his real life appearance even. Does that count?
>You can't be friends if you're insincere in actions or words, and you showed you were both. Being an honest asshole is better than being a sneaky manipulator trying to change others from the shadows, so I'd say it's reasonable that they prefer magenta over you, especially if they've known magenta longer.
That is a fair point in general, but when magenta wasn't around he was being shittalked a lot by the end, it wasn't just me. People openly remarked that it was a breath of fresh air to get to just chill in a raid instead of the stale air of feeling like you can't chat and "need clear comms" which comes with being around that guy. Orange made a deliberate effort to stay quiet as much as possible when he was raiding with us.
>Get a fucking life dude.
How? "Go outside" is not an answer, random people on the street are not going to be your friend.
This game is the only good way for me to meet anybody. Everything else I'm no good at and there's no reason why I would end up crossing paths with someone. This is the most popular game I like, there's a relatively decent amount of regular people who play it.
In all of this I've read, I only feel a bit sorry for orange. First she is submissive to and abused by magenta, then you come along and try to be a white knight and do the "right things", which made her believe your way of handling things was better, which is clearly suspect as seen how this whole situation played out, making her situation even worse. And, orange venting to you about her situation isn't a permission or need from her for you to meddle. Women just like to vent sometimes to feel better about themselves, and often don't want someone to fix whatever they're venting about.
Orange clearly needs to leave the guild and group in general if she is being treated badly, but who knows... maybe she likes being humiliated and abused, but doesn't dare say this to others so she tried to come off as disliking magenta's behavior. (Unlikely, but possible)
Orange "asserting her dominance" over magenta was also a bad move. Magenta seems to have an overinflated ego which he fueled by his yes-men/women in the game. And having "his woman" disrespect him in public couldn't have gone over well with magenta.
No matter how disliked magenta was by all the others, they all still stuck around, meaning they tolerated magenta's bad behavior for some reason. What reason that is, I can't say, but if so many disliked him, why didn't the guild break up? Magenta obviously wanted/needed to be in charge and respected, on the surface at least, but you chose to undermine him behind his back, which made everyone have to take sides and they took magenta's.
I can't really give any advice on how to fix your situation, that's why I'm trying to give perspective to the situation from an outside view, and hopefully some lesson can be learned from it.
Thanks, satan.
I dunno. Was I white knighting? I'm a fag so it's not like I was going to try get in her pants. I'm also 11 years younger so like. Idk, I know things are different online but isn't it kind of pathetic for magenta to freak out at someone 21 while he's 27? Maybe not.
I get the venting stuff, it's not like I was jumping at her with solutions the whole time I was just hearing her out, but if someone's not being given a chance to show their true potential then what's wrong with encouraging them to give it a shot, she appreciated it and got to learn to do more stuff in the raid than she knew before. She was so clearly happier and more vibrant when we all got together without magenta, chatting and joking where she previously had just been keeping quiet to avoid his scorn.
>No matter how disliked magenta was by all the others, they all still stuck around, meaning they tolerated magenta's bad behavior for some reason. What reason that is, I can't say, but if so many disliked him, why didn't the guild break up?
I don't know, it seemed like the guild was headed in that direction, a rift between the people who have fun being bad at the game and the people who care about skill above all else. Maybe in trying to help it inadvertedly "rushed" that process and caused a backlash that means it'll never happen now. Maybe she'll spend another year being fucked with by him before finally calling it quits. Do you think she thinks he's her best shot since he's """hit the wall""" and he's got money, that she should put up with it?

I actually experienced a weirdly similar situation in my teens. Guy from a rich family (40 mil net worth) had a gf I was great friends with but he would act weirdly commanding towards her. Crticised him one day for going on a bigoted tirade and he commanded her to block me so she did. A mutual friend told me recently that she still asks how I am. She hasn't reached out though. Will Orange be the same?
Thanking satan isn't very nice, especially if you're implying I'm somehow satanic.

White knighting in the manner of you thinking you know best for her and making her fit into your perception of her situation more than actually understanding her situation and why she is doing what she is. Orange is obviously quite submissive, and anyone with a bit of authority over her seem to be able to make her believe as they do, if only for the moment. Being older doesn't matter much after about 20-25 years old, unfortunately. Time is seldom a measurement of wisdom, and experience can only guide you if it's learned from. However, many do not think beyond their immediate situation and seldom learn new things from what they lived through, if only because it takes time and effort to analyze the situations they've experienced.
I do not think you did anything objectively wrong, it is only how you went about it that was inappropriate. Showing kindness and giving help is a laudable mindset to have, and you are not wrong about that. It's only in their execution that you've erred.
From what I know of women, most aren't aware of "the wall", in the manner that men think about it. In the back of their minds they may think about it, but it's often repressed by their willing ignorance of aging. I doubt orange would be stupid enough to endure abuse without a reason, so she has to have some, but figuring that out can only be guess-work at best. Maybe she feels magenta is her only chance at a long term relationship, but I hope not, and if possible I hope you can tell her how bad of an idea that is, though I doubt she will listen if she doesn't want to.

Your thought that maybe the guild was heading towards breaking up is reasonable, and maybe, if you're lucky, the ones that leave will be those that you enjoy playing with and you can join them. If the guild was heading that direction, it's reasonable that your actions have only sped up this process rather than halting it, so there's that.
If orange is like a different person when magenta isn't around, that is a good indicator that she understands that she should be happier without magenta's attention, which may lead to her realizing that her situation is bad for her.
It's unfortunate that some women choose the "stability" of money over emotional well-being, thinking that money can grant happiness when it's usually not that simple, but that's a choice they have to live with. I've seen women accept worse than verbal abuse for the sake of a relationship they somehow cherish for reasons only they can explain. If you can, try to contact orange, for both your sakes.
But I would ignore the other friend who clearly thought you weren't worth her effort and time in comparison to her boyfriend, so even if she is interested in your situation, there is little reason for you to reach out to her if she isn't showing great signs of remorse and understanding of how badly she handled your friendship. It's seldom worth your effort to try and be friends with those that value you less than you value them.
>Thanking satan isn't very nice, especially if you're implying I'm somehow satanic.
your post number ended in 666.
>if you're lucky, the ones that leave will be those that you enjoy playing with and you can join them
Maybe. At this point of radio silence (still nothing) I'm thinking they're all just shit people unless some kind of extenuating circumstance like he's blackmailing them which while insane is not impossible, he's said weird shit before about how people could afford to be more evil, hinting vaguely that orange knows personal details about him so why didn't she try to use that to make him give her money or something. But also sounds like a massive cope, "obviously these people are not talking to me because they are being BLACKMAILED not to!!!!"
>If orange is like a different person when magenta isn't around, that is a good indicator that she understands that she should be happier without magenta's attention, which may lead to her realizing that her situation is bad for her
I mean she consciously knows it and told it to us. I had presumed that she was fine with it until she told me and another one night that he was treating her terribly and she hates it and it's been going on for months.
I guess "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink" except I had considered her to be the kind of person you could reason with, who would either come to see your point of view, offer opposing ideas, or agree to disagree with.
Ghosting didn't really seem in her repertoire other than one guy that magenta fucked over and made her tell the bad news to, thereby making their friendship awkward, and she hadn't reached out to the guy in a long time because she was afraid to after what happened.
>But I would ignore the other friend who clearly thought you weren't worth her effort and time in comparison to her boyfriend
spose. Though I did consider both of them friends at the time, just as I did for magenta and orange.
no one's reading all that shit nigga
You're no fun
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new update in that there is no update from blue. he gives the slightest hint of what the conversation may have been after over 24 hours radio silence. I guess the easiest solution is to throw the baby out with the baby water and start anew. I bet that'll be fun. Attempt number.. how many?
Any advice is still appreciated, but I don't know if there's any good outcome.
No lie..

OP, even I'm not about to read all that shit, god damn. Here's some advice for you in the future though:

Don't talk. Like, ever. Just don't ever fucking talk to anyone, unless you absolutely have to. Then you can sit there silently and feel out which people are cool and which ones are cocksucking motherfuckers, and you might talk to them every now and then.. but mostly just don't fucking talk. You'll find things go much, much better that way

Or let me guess.. you're more in it for the socializing than the fucking games themselves? Gay
Please don't let the thread die OP I am unironically interested in this edrama of yours since it reminds me of how retarded I was not too long ago.
yeah this
you lost me about halfway through the first greentext
Ugh, i just read a few sentences. The solution is same as always - dont be dependent. Be a leader, grow some ballz and make your own guild rn. Instigate and accelerate the diversion of that guild. Do it out of spite.
you amaze me brotha. not american but you sure got the american tism in you. you gotta get some real hobbies man. start going for walks, going to the library, concerts, drawing, lifting, motorcycle or whatever.
you have issues overanalyzing, anxious for sure, need for approval way too high. also stop playing these gay little nerd video games. buy the newest copy of call of duty. if you don't take my advice you're for sure fucked.
bumping for update
Too many words indeed
I'm not in the games FOR socialising. But it became so much easier to play the game once I had a group of people to play things with. Playing the game sucks now because every task I've gotta complete, in the back of my head I'm still thinking "oh yeah, that's the thing I've gotta do with X and Y people" only to remember that they're just fucking gone apparently.
I've barely played the game since even though I previously wouldn't have cared about being alone, before I had this guild. I tried teaching raids to groups of noobs and while I got lots of praise and thanks, it's just not the same.
OK. Blue convo:
>Me: And so what now? (23:00)
>Blue: I don’t know. Thats what I’ve been trying to think of (01:55)
>Me: Do you have any idea why orange didn't respond to me at all? Did she turn against me or (05:12)
now: (18:28)
He's currently online so I have no idea what the deal is. He's still talking to me like he doesn't hate me but taking a long time to respond. Genuinely struggling to think of why these people would be acting like this yet not have me removed as a friend ingame or on discord, nor banned from the other discord they invited me to. Either magenta is commanding them to do or say specific things to me and/or ignore me, or they all despise me and think this is a far more painful way to punish me than if they'd just all blocked me.
>going for walks, going to the library, concerts, lifting, motorcycle
I'm nowhere near overweight but my heart is fucked so I get exhausted going outdoors. I was going for runs/jogging regularly for a while but things never got easier, I'd still get home and just be heaving on the floor for ages.
Also I went to a concert a while ago and while it was interesting to see once, I needed earbuds to not get hearing damage and at that point it was no more enjoyable than listening to music at home. I can't exactly risk my hearing when I already have tinnitus.
I just bought a drawing tablet so sure, but I find it extremely difficult to concentrate on anything that's not a pathetic dopamine skinner's box due to unmedicated adhd. Call me an idiot or say it's not a real disorder if you want, but I couldn't hold down an easy job despite my best efforts and everyone I know with medicated adhd has struggled with basically the exact same (numerous, many unmentioned) problems that I do before they got their meds.
It was nice making friends through something that didn't require me to spend years fixing my entire life in solitude first. I've been waiting 3 years for meds but commie healthcare in europe just works like that.
Pic related.
Stop bumping. Nobody is reading all of this autistic shit. Stop being mentally ill enough to worry about online people
Niqqa, nobody is gonna read this book you call a thread
thanks for the lolfuel. normal people learn to not get attached to online fags when theyre like 12-15

When you’re online, you don’t know people. You have an idealized version of who they are (for good or for ill), and they have the same idealized version of you.

It’s all shit. All of your chatter is shit. It didn’t mean shit. This anon >>28564216
said it best.

I’ll add: OP is a faggot as well. Stop being a faggot and being so emotional.
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My goodness, but this is a very uninteresting thread!
You're the one who came to /adv/. You could say that to every thread here.

OP, touch grass. Unironically.
stop stressing. Don't DM any of them for a couple days or so (unless they message you first), then maybe follow-up with blue or orange but don't come off as desperate or stressed. But overall accept that online gamers are often mentally ill and anti-social so even though you didn't really do much wrong they might still just flake for whatever reason.
Try joining Meetup.com or something to get out into the real world.
Alright I'll wait a couple days. But I think I've already made myself look desperate.

I saw you (or someone) suggest meetup but I checked and it's 90% scams and 10% social meetups composed almost entirely out of 24-30 year old foreign men.
You fucked it, anon. People make jokes about "bro code" and shit like that but its good policy. When you're never going too fuck that fat retarded healslut anyway. Not your pig, not your farm. Not Only that you immediately go psycho super spy sending shady DMs around? You're an asshole trying to manipulate the only woman you were exposed to for personal gain.
If someone was shittalking you behind your back, would you prefer that no one tells you?
Idk, near my there are some hiking groups in Meetup that helped me meet friends and also some casual sports leagues.
You could also just try going to bars. You say you don't have money/energy to go out but maybe don't go to a club go to a dive bar or something. Eventually you can meet a buddy to hang out with.
Is a bar really the best place? I don't even particularly enjoy alcohol.

Man I just have this horrible feeling in my chest when I think about what happened. For the first day or two I just had that horrible feeling 100% of the time and had nightmares.
>- magenta says "faggot" a lot. Maybe he doxxed me and told them I'm lgbt and they're bigoted too.
this is what happened
stay out of our guild faggot
Any time someone has shit talked my friend behind their back I call them out on it in person in front of the friend. I'll have texts or dms ready if they try to accuse me of making shit up.
>one of the few female members opens up about how her and the guild lead were trying to do an LDR but he suddenly became really cruel to her, insulting her ability "as a joke" all the time, commanding her to do things, forcing her to play a support role then shittalking her when she inevitably doesn't have much dps

She honestly sounds like the problem, she's trying to stir up drama. Everything is about her, she has to be the center of attention. Your guild leader is an even bigger faggot who doesn't view her as a human being. Your friend is also stirring up dumb bullshit drama probably for some petty ulterior motive. You're just as much of a candy ass as they are for not washing your hands of their retarded bullshit
Stop being a people pleaser and call your faggot friends out on their bullshit/ Your guild leader is a narcissist, your friend is down bad, your thot is an attention whore and you're a colossal faggot who needs the approval of a bunch of shitheads who aren't even worth anything in the first place
Oh my fucking god stop talking and take the fucking hint that internet exclusive friendships almost never work for several reasons, most of which you've already encountered. Learn to pick up on red flags, avoid them, and stop having a savior complex
Said "bro if you guys don't want anything to do with me you can just say that" to blue after having said nothing since this >>28570800. idk kind of regretting it, I was semi at peace, I just logged into the game after being off a few days and felt crappy about continuing something I'd been doing with the nice people.
So do you think I did the right thing?
I guess. I just didn't really know anybody and was really enjoying the friendship as well as always having people to play stuff with ingame. Only met people that friendly a handful of times through the game and they were all pretty bad at the game unlike these guys.
How many friends do you have? I could see this perspective being the correct one but also being that callous is probably more conducive to less/toxic relationships, no?
If fairy tales are true then maybe staying naive is the only way to have a shot at happy friendships in the future
Rather than take out my frustrations I went and helped some noobs in the MMO, taught them to raid. I'd like to think that that's the path forward most conducive to future happiness.
>friend tells you about problem
>problem happens right in front of you
>say nothing, allow it to continue without being addressed
>friend knows you understood exactly what just happened, and said nothing
Just to be clear, this is the course of action you'd be recommending?
>>28581294 i was telling you that you should ditch the abusive retards rather than try to fix the relationship. For anyone being abused, tell them that they either get their shit together and ditch the toxic retards or go down with the ship. Do not play the back and forth game and don't give infinite chances, they will not get better. And stop describing things in essays for christs sake
I'm gonna be honest, I really don't know how I could've gotten all that across with less words.
Damn, and I thought I was a loser
>orange: hey I'm really sorry that i've been such a piece of shit and haven't spoken to you. I'm sorry about the shit that happened..you didn't deserve that in the slightest
>If you still wanna game with some of us, like [uninvolved person 1]/[uninvolved person 2]/myself, we have another discord

>me: In a way I get it since you told me before about being nervous to say anything to [guy magenta fucked over who orange was friends with]
>But after what I thought was a fun time with you all playing so much last week it did hurt to suddenly be stonewalled like that. Blue still hasn't given any actual response and I still don't know anything of what went on. I don't know how to feel about any of this.
>[screenshot of chat with blue showing no response]
So who fucking knows. I'm in A discord now, with the people who didn't backstab me, including orange. Or did she? I don't know if any of this will undo how "cold" I am now. I'm sure we could easily reach a point of being happy friends again but I have this feeling they'd wait until I reach out and ask to, instead of just pinging me to play shit with me. I could dump them all and say they didn't bother to reach out all that time, but I do want to have people to play with. I don't know.

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