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I'm torn bros. I've always done well academically with no effort and people think I'm very smart. The longer I live and more I learn about others the more I realize I'm an absolute retard in the grand scheme of things, and am only really good at the regurgitation of information that school forces one to do. That's besides the point, my academic performance has lead to high expectations from family and others. Everyone expects me to pursue STEM or at the very least a well paying white collar career in something like accounting.
People expect me to pursue these things and suggest them as they pay well and give me 'freedom' to do whatever I want. The only things I want to do are read books, exercise, and see/do some cool things. This in combination with my interest in military has led me to consider joining. I do not have a fantastical idea of the military where one is kicking down doors, riding tanks, and blowing shit up on the daily. I realize that most military occupations are usually mind numbing nothingness combined with incompetent leadership. But it is between that or a white collar job that will inevitably end in me becoming a hero.

TLDR; Everyone expects me to pursue STEM/white collar career at the minimum as they believe I am intelligent and say it gives me the money to do what I want. I do not want money, I don't need much of it. I just want to read books and use my body, rather than rot in a chair. I have always been interested in the military and am tempted to join.
My two choices are: white collar job that pays well and satisfies those around me but rots my mind and body, and ends with a bang in my early 30s. OR, I join a morally reprehensive organization, do a cool thing once or twice, get some exercise, immerse myself in my interests, and sit around reading my books in the meantime (I realize this last sentence makes the military seem very good. Please give me actual advice rather than the generic military bad/I was in the military and it sucked).
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>>28196633
while I'm here. If joining isn't a horrible idea, how do I break it to those around me? I have never confronted anyone, I have never had a meaningful or important conversation, I have never really faced disappointment.
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if both of these options suck, please recommend half decent jobs. I like being tasked with things. In the past when people ask me to go get something for them or I'm asked to do something out of the usual at a highschool jobs I thoroughly enjoyed it, no matter how mundane they were. They felt like little missions where I had to go somewhere and achieve something. Any jobs like this?
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>>28196633
If the only two choices you give is are those two, join the military. Don't do anything because people expect that from you, one day you'll grow old and you don't want your memories to be what you did because it was expected of you, you want them to be because you wanted to do them. I was in a similar boat, I graduated HS as a valevictorian and family everyone expected me to do magic genius stuff, I don't care about that, I just wanted to work on independent research at home, reading a lot and living off spare change. I went thru college because it was expected of me, and then it was expected of me to do a masters and so on but I just stopped there. I stop completely caring about what they expected, and I've never felt better. There's no stress anymore, whatever anyone says anything, I just tell them I don't care or I'm indifferent. So what if I'm not your definition of success? this is my life and I want to enjoy my way, and if that means reading books, exercise and seeing cool things, that's good enough and no one else has a say.
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>>28196952
What do you do for a living?
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>>28196633
Find a STEM pathway in the military.
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Become a mechanical engineer. Anyone who has the ability to do this should do it. If I traumatised in my teens I would have done this.
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Pursue stem > be mechanical engineer > join military > rank stonks bruh ( iguess)
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>>28196633
>The longer I live and more I learn about others the more I realize I'm an absolute retard in the grand scheme of things


Practically the dictionary definition of wisdom.

“Wisdom is knowing how little we know.”
— Socrates



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