[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vm / vmg / vr / vrpg / vst / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip / qa] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / pw / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / vt / wsg / wsr / x / xs] [Settings] [Search] [Mobile] [Home]
Board
Settings Mobile Home
/adv/ - Advice


Thread archived.
You cannot reply anymore.


[Advertise on 4chan]


File: file.jpg (33 KB, 446x497)
33 KB
33 KB JPG
I want to get some insight on this situation so please share your thoughts.

Some backstory. My mom was a single parent. I don't know who my father is but my mom loved me and she did her best to send me to school and tried her hardest to raise me. Then my mom married when I was about 10 to a guy who we'll call Dave. Now, Dave was rich. He had two daughters himself (who we'll call B and C. B lived with us) Now, Dave was an awful awful man. He was physically and emotionally abusive. He changed my mom into hating me. I never had nice stuff to wear but B always had the cutest outfits. It gets worse, I had to litteraly beg my mom to buy me sanitary stuff so I could keep some stocked up instead of waiting till the worst possible day it. Their reasoning was that he's already doing me a favor by letting me live in his already gigantic house.

Dave's physical abuse was the most traumatising of the things he did. He always either beat me with a stick from a lemon tree we had in the yard or berate me with all sorts of foul language when something happened at school. One occasion I remember as the worst was when I was suspended from school because I pushed a bully and she hit her head on a desk. He broke almost half a dozen of sticks over my back. I remember waking up the day after and my pajamas sticking to my bottom because of the amount of skin he broke.

The first thing I did after I graduated from HS was moving to my own place. I hated all of them except my mom.

Now, a few years later my mom calls me saying that Dave's in the hospital. She says he's not doing too well. She says that he's feeling sorry for all the things he did and he wants to apologise. I asked her why wasn't Dave the one who's calling me then. She says that Dave was feeling to weak for that.

[Continues...]
>>
[...Continued]

So there's my conundrum. Do I visit him and see what he has to say or do I ignore him and my mother and hope he gets worse. I can see pros and cons to both sides so I want to hear what you think.

BTW: I'm going to therapy so I'm mentally more or less prepared if I ever were to meet Dave again
>>
>>28189648
You're right to cut him out of your life completely. You don't owe anyone anything, including the person who pushed you out of her vagina.
>>
>>28189807
>You're right to cut him out of your life completely. You don't owe anyone anything
I don't feel as if I owe then anything either. I still love my mom however.
>>
>>28189871
> I still love my mom however.

Hot
>>
>>28189920
You don't love your mother?
>>
>>28189642
Personally, I'd go, and then tell Dave he can fuck himself.

But that's just me.
>>
Too bad Dave was not able to beat the stupid out of your bitch ass.
>but I luv me mum!!1
Fuck her. She's a cunt for abandoning her own child.
If you didn't enjoy hearing about your abusive step dad's suffering and ignored his pathetic calls for forgiveness there'd be something wrong with you.
>>
>>28189642
Do what will make the situation least bad for your mother.
>>
>>28189642
I say you should visit him. He might be a shit head but visiting him will keep you good with your ma.
If he is still a shit head and obviously doesn't feel any bit bad when you do visit: then you leave then and there without a word.
If he's not you can air whatever grievance you had with him, which might do you good.
>>
>>28189642
>stick from a lemon tree
>He broke almost half a dozen of sticks over my back
Can you tell me more about this lemon tree? How big was it? Did he dry the branches or was it green wood? Did he keep a stock of branches or would he walk outside and pick them in the moment?
And what about the thorns? I've worked in orchards before and the thorns on citrus trees are a real bitch.
>>
>>28189642
Do visit him, and if he does apologize, forgive him for everything. Tell him that Jesus loves him and pray for his soul and physical health.
>>
>>28190188
>>28189990
Thanks for responding.

>>28190453
The sticks were fresh off the tree. Probably the thickness of my middle finger. I think the thorns were more stubby than pointy, the fruit was more somewhere between a tangerine and a lime in size.

>>28190108
My mother was manipulated into hating me. I know she still loves me.

>>28190967
I won't be praying for his good health.
>>
I wouldn't go, but if you decide to, then make sure it's on his deathbed, then tell him that you've fucked his daughters. Laugh as he passes off in a fit of rage.
>>
>>28189642
>I had to litteraly beg my mom to buy me sanitary stuff so I could keep some stocked up instead of waiting till the worst possible day
This is worse than child abuse. This is child neglect. They refused to buy their own young lady sanitary napkins? WTF?
>>
>>28191785
Yeah, there were so days where I went to school with toilet paper stuffed down there simply because I didn't have anything else at home.
>>
>>28189871
She so easily started hating you cause of rich dick, no reason to love her shes an awful women I truly pity you
>>
>>28189648
I think it's time to move on from Dave. You should forgive him, even if you don't ever talk to him I certainly wouldn't but forgive him and move on with your life.
>>
>>28189642
Are you a guy or a girl?
>>
>>28195947
this, you should not talk to any of them fuck em
>>
>>28195947
>>28196622
I have a feeling that Dave somehow manipulated her into neglecting me like this. She would've treated me better if someone else took Dave's place.

>>28196552
I still dislike him and I probably wouldn't forgive him but I still kinda want to see him for the sake of my mom.

>>28196617
I'm a woman.
>>
You don't owe them anything. Go there and roast the shit out of that piece of shit stepfather before he dies and it's too late
>>
>>28197352
I, personally, wouldn't go. There are literally 500 things you could do that wouldn't involve dealing with a shit head who beat you senseless.
Pick up an extra shift at work
Go for a hike
Learn a new sport
Paint your walls
Take an art class
Visit a museum

Anything besides visiting your shitty dad and mom. If you want to make amends after he's dead with your mom, sure. I wouldn't even go to the funeral.
>>
>>28197352
Thats the issue no mother who loved you would be so easily manipulated to hate you a true mothers love is eternal
>>
>>28189642
>>28189648
what's going to happen to your mum after your stepdad dies?
>>
>>28190188
That's some actual advice
>>
>>28189642
did this Dave guy hit your bare bottom? if so that's so fucked up and you should cut all ties with that pervert. how old were you then btw?
>>
Interesting how DAVE is the only person in OP's story with any agency.

OP, your mom is a piece of shit who chose Dave, and you're fucking stupid if have anything to do with either of them.



[Advertise on 4chan]

Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.