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I have hearing damage/tinnitus, I have absolutely no direction or clue what the fuck I want to do with my life and I have ruined friendships from my pessimism
I go to an ok university, its well known but far from home and I feel like shit because of everyone around me and I hate being there and I have no friends and I cant make any because I have a shitty attitude
My attitude cant get better because I have no reason to be there other than to get a job in something "I like" and try to "make the world better"
I absolutely despise modern society and I hate consumer culture and I hate how i can get a billion diseases without constantly being a slave to big pharma and I wish I could start a new life out there somewhere without being a slave to my hyperreligious family
I dont know what to do besides drive a bullet into my skull because there's really so much I want to do that I dont think I will ever get to it all, this world feels so fake
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>>27788697
take a break.
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>>27788697
Try Jigsaw puzzles
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>>27788817
I cant I have a lot due in a week and finals are coming up I might die from this stress
>>27788829
im terrible at those
>>
>>27788697
>I have hearing damage/tinnitus
I can especially relate to this OP. Being a social outcast is already humiliating enough, but to have my senses dulled and destroyed just from listening to music to try and cope with my shitty life? Well that's just fucking great then! Guess I'll just stare blankly at my wall instead of using my PC 24/7, but I mean, it shouldn't be that hard, since I don't even feel real in the first place
>>
>>27788902
I dont know what to do I want to jump out the window right now and im really trying to stop myself
>>
>>27788906
I get that, I do. There hasn't been one day when I haven't thought about suicide, most of the time though it's just an idea at the back of my head, but there's been many days where I seriously considered the possibility. But here's my advice: Stop overthinking. I know it's only a temporary fix to all your problems, especially your school-related shit, but it's pointless to worry constantly about stuff that's ultimately outside of your control. I'm guilty of this too of course, I'm not without my intricate and deep thoughts, but I try not to dwell on it too much, otherwise I'll just be pissed off 24/7. But the fact that your brain is telling you in the first place that you're stressed out is a sign, a sign to make change in your life, in one way or another. It's telling you to go out there and do stuff, something that doesn't make you feel like less of a person. Like going up to someone and saying hi to them on an impulse, without caring about how you look or the consequences of such an interaction.

Sure, stuff outside of your control can't ever be changed, like your crazy family, as you were handed shitty cards in life. But that doesn't mean we can't change other, more smaller stuff. Like thought patterns and the way we interact with others. Maybe it's a bad cope, but I think you should start thinking more positively, or at the very least try to not appear so pessimistic in front of others. And I no normalfags can be cruel people, but if you put yourself out there in front of others, at the very least, you have a chance to improve your social skills



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