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/adv/ - Advice

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i always wanted to be married and be with one person but i think ive just been in denial. if so many people have been in 5+ year relationships and suddenly realized they don’t want to be together or make it work how am I any different? and why would i be immune to this?

and even if i am, why would my partner be?

it’s just extremely saddening, but i think it’s the truth. not sure how to cope with this so ill probably just remain in my cycle of wishful thinking proceeded by disappointment, as that’s much easier than accepting true love doesn’t exist. thoughts or suggestions are welcome.
>thoughts or suggestions are welcome.
Based on? You didn't give any information about yourself or your situation.
There's no guarantee of this or of anything for that matter but if you want it then you may as well try. A strong marriage is less likely as a white western male as a result of the breakdown of traditional family structures, the disintegration of the marriage as an institution and rampant egoism and desire leading to self-interested decision making and 'grass is greener' type thinking.

But all this is just general societal tendencies. There still are and will continue to be strong relationships which last and remain loving. Maybe the key is not to force it, but to work for it and if you are fortunate enough maybe you'll get what you want.
With every relationship comes risk of failure.
With every failure comes a learning opportunity to make the next relationship better.
But with every relationship comes a chance of happiness, too.
If you never try, you'll never succeed.

You have to put yourself out there and hope for the best. There's no other way.
Don't just cope with it, tackle it.

No one is born into this world meant to be alone.
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These are both good posts, but I don't want OP to think of his love life in terms of probability and fate. Certainly they will determine if he finds a match at all, but once you're together the biggest factor in a successful relationship is the effort you put into it. Both protecting yourself, and vetting your partner as you become more serious and move toward marriage. Then supporting them emotionally and putting up with their shit - and also NOT putting up with their shit, when the situation calls for it.

Put simply, the reason you see so many long term relationships fail is that the people in those relationships fuck them up. Men and women go together by design, and we are perfectly capable of staying together under the direst of circumstances. If you want in that club, your job is to take that to heart and then find a woman who takes it to heart.

See also related,
>wtf i love science now

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