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What's cooler than cool edition

Get it off yo chest (Ice cold) and no autistic obsessions
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>>27779000
I don't do drugs, just weed
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>>27779007
Courage is utterly irrelevant but that's a fun cope for you
>>
Man I wish the gifted and talented coordinator never discouraged me from joining, I'm supposed to be kinda smart and academic acceleration makes a big difference in lifetime achievements
>>
Confessed feelings to a friend of 9 years and got rejected.

Was expecting the rejection, actually just feel really good about having the balls to actually do it. Have been turning my shit around a lot this year and that was but one attempt at some positive forward development.

That said, I am of course a little sad, especially now that I've crossed that line in our relationship. She's meant a lot to me, been a close and valued friend. Don't know what this means for us going forward, and the not knowing is what sucks.
>>
I’d appreciate if my crush could go and get a girlfriend so that I’ll know for sure that I have no chance with him and can get over my feelings for him already.
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>>27779080
Just be honest with him and accept what happens if he rejects you
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This is the coolest birthday present ever. I got a pimp stick now for when I walk downtown and ride the trains. I love my babe <3
I’m so fucking happy bros
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>>27779103
>Just humiliate yourself and irreparably damage your relationship with him bro!
I’ll pass
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>>27779175
You have to
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>>27779165
>>27779113
Based
>>
>>27779233
I know Ryan personally and he mogs me
We were going to fight until I found out how fucking jacked he is
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>>27779080
Ditch your lazy gamer boyfriend first.

>>27779103
Women don't take risks.
>>
Ryan is my best friend. Listen to his advice and you’ll be golden.
>>
I have been distracting myself from the feelings of our break up for over a month now with mostly success but am hitting a wall on how much I can keep doing that.

>everyone tells me how amazed they are at how well I am handling my break up
>yeah its easy simply never stop long enough for the feelings to reach you
>and if you must distract your mind with nonsense and exercise and weed

Getting a dog this weekend to further distraft myself. This is gonna work. By the time I look back at my hurt feelings they'll be small and too old to care about anymore.
>>
If my neighbor slams her fucking door again rattling my house I'm going to go fucking ballistic, screaming, laughing, making monkey noises, blasting caramelldansen. I'm in pain and crazy this retarded old grandma needs someone to teach her a lesson. CEASE, PAT, CEASE THE SLAMMING! Please I want to kill myself. Please PAT STOP IT PLEASE REEEEEEEEE. I have a fucking infection on my tooth swollen to the size of a pony bead and I'm in no mood to fucking play around. SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID OLD BITCH. She slammed shit shaking my wall 4 times while I wrote this by the way
>>
The last few months I've been interviewing for some great jobs. I hadn't been lucky yet but I was getting better and better in my interviews. Yesterday I had one for a job and a place I really wanted. I wasn't too nervous, I looked fly as fuck in my suit and I fucking bombed. They've already told me I didn't get the job and gave me some - shall we say - very honest feedback. I don't know what the fuck came over me. I completely tensed up and couldn't think on my feet.
Fuck bros. I'm so fucked. No other interviews lined up. I'm so broke too.
Please tell me someone's been in a similar boat but managed to save themselves.
>>
I'm not sure if the concept of the elder scrolls "Dragon Break"(when a timeline is altered, split in two, or merged) exists in real life but I feel it ever so strongly.

You who would cause such heartache... why?!
>>
I'm merely telling how I'm feeling. I don't mean to cause distress.
>>
>>27779739
Now that I think of it, I'm not just saying how I feel, I am trying to make amends.
>>
I miss him so much it hurts.
>>
I miss her so much it hurts.
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>>27779767
>>27779786
I miss you too, but the past is past and I think its too late now for us to be together
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>>27779825
Also you died and want them to live well.
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>>27779840
No I moved back to my country, and life gotta move on. Its what it is. If it is meant to be, destiny will bring us together somehow , but I doubt we are meant to be together. She someone in the past now
>>
I'm annoyed and starting to get a headache again

and this is supposed to be some kind of vacation
what a fucking sick joke
>>
>yesterday shitted out what seemed to be 4 big meals worth of food
>today vomited what looked like 3 big meals of food, and shitted out what looked like 2 big meals of food
i noticed my stomach looking really bloated this morning too, theres no way i have a fecal impaction, right? i only eat one meal a day so i was possibly shitting/vomiting ~9 days of food.
it's not like i wasn't shitting before yesterday either. i have been shitting fine every day with no constipation or anything weird.
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>>27779175
theres no way ur 18+ if u still think this way. ur still in high school. get off this shit website.
>>
I can't take it anymore. No girl sees me as human so it seems. I get it, they don't have to like me, but no amount of changes, achievements or affection ever helps my case because of how fugly I look. The only thing I can't change is precisely what is hindering me. This is bullshit. It makes me feel inhuman.
>>
How the fuck do I learn to forgive people for being shitty? When someone does something slightly shitty to me they don't even seem to be concious they're doing it and I can't for the life of them make them understand why what they did is shitty.
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>>27780966
Pray and ask the lord to give you strength to forgive
>>
You are humans
>>
So this has been a funny insight into not only my own subconscious but algorithms created by other people that mimic real interactions (of real or fictional people). I think it's a little but of a slippery slope for me personally but it's been cool. Basically what I'm saying is it's about time to switch gears again.. gg though.
>>
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>>27781041
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>>27781099
This is literally what you are
>>
>>27781110
Lol
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>>27781113
Sure
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>>27781113
Your mother's name is a string
Your last pet is an object
Your love is a force
>>
I have never received love
So I see the world as it is
>>
When you love someone
You make them aware of their situational condition in the world
Who they are in relation to other people (incl. you) etc
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>>27781203
sure
>>
When you decide to "love" someone you add a gown to this rack
How many "gowns" are directed to a person determines whether they have the "blob" in their soul
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>>27781225
Is that bad?
>>
I ditched a long-term toxic gf that was ruining my life and even though life is infinitely better in every way now I still feel so guilty about leaving her
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>>27781249
It turns your life from an FPS to a RPG
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>>27781256
It was for the best, she deserves better and apparently you do too
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>>27781280
Yes I try and think that she was not the person I fell in love with anymore. She was ruining both my physical and mental health and mom literally cried she was so happy I got out of this at last. It's just tough letting someone you built all your adult life with go like this. I can't help but get thoughts about how I should have tried harder even if my friends were letting me go because they couldn't deal with this anymore and said I was stupid for keeping it going
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>>27781345
I think I understand you and where you're coming from.
>>
I’m sorry for the explosiveness.
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>>27781365
Just that brings me comfort really. I appreciate it
>>
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>have hobby of making own merch (fuck paying for shit)
>there's a thanksgiving party with some girls saturday
>chance to score
>wanna come up with custom merch shirt
>end up making the same old shitpost design
Ah well. If I play it straight and confident I'll score. I just need to hone on being based. Any tips to improve this?
>>
>>27781175
And how is it?
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>>27781376
Sure no problem
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>>27781417
There is no difference between sleep and waking up except the former is all dark
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>>27781256
How long were you together?
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>>27781461
If there is no difference, then why do we have separate words to describe the two? Do most people have a misunderstanding? What leads to people confusing the two--er, confusing the one for being two?
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>>27781521
It's a default mode thing
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>>27781580
Which is? I don't understand.
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>>27781598
Natural selection man
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>>27781608
What does that have to do with being asleep or being awake?
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>>27781619
Open your ass and the heart will follow
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>>27781657
You are a mouthpiece for Satan
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>>27781652
Can you give me the tldr on this book.
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>>27781682
never read it
>>
>be NEET
>really want to learn japanese
>people say it takes a really long time and it's mostly useless
>get discouraged and never learn
>1 year later
>still NEET
>still want to learn japanese
>realize I could be halfway to fluency by now if I had studied just 3 hours a day instead of playing WoW

I should really just start doing things the moment I feel like it. I put things off because I think there is always a better use of my time, and I always end up spending that time on nothing special. Same thing with learning guitar and boxing.
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>>27781640
What does that mean?
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>>27781711
B-but you are!!! I know you, I think...
>>27781722
SATAN IS A BOTTOM
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>>27781711
That means you speak french
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>>27781721
I have been putting off starting boxing for 3 years. Originally I had a back injury and wanted to make sure it was gone first, then I was worried that I would move town soon so I didn't want to commit to a gym, then I was worried that I'd get a job and not have the time for it in my schedule. All this time I wanted to do it but didn't, because of problems I imagined. That boxing gym is still just down the street I live on and I still haven't set foot in it in the 3 years I've been planning to.
>>
THere's literally 3 /gioyc/ threads right now you fucking autists
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>>27781744
I think I have an issue with perfection. I struggle to do things if the conditions aren't perfect. If I wake up early and feel in a good mood, I'll have a productive day. But if I sleep in for just 1 hour it's like I already give up the moment I wake up. "Good enough" isn't in my vocabulary. Either my life runs like clockwork or a flaming barrel of rats, there is no middle ground. I should really learn to accept things being less than ideal, because right now I find it very hard to do anything and I quickly give up when things don't go according to plan.
>>
You are a really interesting person, you know that? I don't think I ever said that to you. I really did enjoy knowing you, I hope you're doing well.
This giyoc thing ain't so bad, eh? It's like drunk-texting an ex without all the negative effects of actually drunk-texting an ex.
>>
>>27781758
Yeah I noticed that too, I have no idea what these silly billys (fucking retards) are doing.
>>
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I don't even know why am I still alive
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So the sting is working then? Excellent.
>>
All of my thoughts are coming in through an old radio. Let’s pick the path for today.
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>>27781777
That’s exactly how I use it lol I think the person I write here too doesn’t want to hear from me so this works well.
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>>27782037
Aye it's a pretty good way to vent
>>
>>
>>27781734
>SATAN IS A BOTTOM
I see. Who is the top, then? Jesus?
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>>27782080
Jesus is the Perfect Man
Tops are the slaves
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>>27781734
Well, that sweet little sugar is *definitely* a bottom, even if he doesn't want us to know~
>>
>>27782100
LOL
Anon, I think I'm gonna put your ass on the bottom :)
>>
I hope you have a happy thanksgiving K. Still thinkin of you.
>>
>Unemployed for a year
>Family wants me to Migrate to a different country
>Only possible way is being an International Student
>Might waste 3-4 years of my life if I don't get Residency at the end of it
Goddamnit, feels like I'm just in a pit that I can't get out of. If I fail, I'd have wasted my 20's for nothing and come out as a 30+ year old at the starting line again.
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>>27782207
I hope my K has a great thanksgiving too. I still think of them as well. Except they don't have thanksgiving where they are lol
Anon you have a good thanksgiving too
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>>27781777
oh it has negative effects alright. don't start.
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>>27782246
Meh, it's not like my ex will find it, and I can handle the gioyc schizoposting if it means venting to the void once every blue moon.
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>>27778917
Based frog, anyway, when I said that I used to have random dreams of Jenny Lewis trying to sell me weed I wasn't lying.
>>
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fuck you
>>
I’m so horny all the time :( my ex and I used to have sex daily. I refuse to have sex with anyone else and I don’t want to masturbate. I know I have no right to complain. It’s just annoying cos my vagina is just tingly all day… fuck I neeeeeed sex
>>
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LIVE
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Man, I started to put myself out there again and the ghosting is happening again and it hurts. I fucking hate this shit man.
It wouldn't be so bad but I have like this really bad emotional scar left by a shitty person who would basically ignore me and treat me like I'm nothing as a method of abuse to make me feel bad about myself. The goal of this was to basically get me to feel so fucking awful about myself and unlovable that I'd kill myself so my ex wouldn't have to break up with me and would be free of me. She did a wide array of other things to get me to kill myself, but this is at least one of em and the deepest one.

So every time it happens, it just hurts way more and it just kicks off a lot of other shitty trauma/scars that spiral me into this bad cycle of habitual saying that got drilled into my head that I am nothing, unlovable, not interesting, funny or fun, and I'm just a genuine cancer to be around. And I know others don't do this to hurt me, but it feels like even trying to date is like this emotional battle of will to not bash my head in after every failure until I can get my footing again and break the thought cycle.

I really don't know what to do anymore about this. This is like my 2000 lb weight that I'll never shake and it's slowly exhausting me.
>>
>>27782215
Thanks fren you too. I hope things work out with your K.
>>
You seem to have forgotten that I still know where Rebecca and Sarah sleep at night.
>>
The best revenge reslly is living well and letting their insecurities slowly dissolve their life but fuck is unsatisfying to wait for it.
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>>27782910
You're evil too you know
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>>27782922
What makes you think so?
>>
Test
>>
Fuck i have a gf who waa rejecting me for some weeks now and we didnt had sex , so we fucked a couple of days ago and i found that she has a std , i just feel angry (not at her tho) and sad , really sad , what should i do , we both had lots of sexual partners before this ? I know that this is fucking hard for someone and i love her so much that desu honest i dont care , but how can i talk about it without hurting her feelings and the relationship
>>
Why the fuck interesting posts only happen when I'm banned? As soon as I got unbanned every post started to go back to being boring again ffs
>>
I like it when people feel sorry for me. I want everyone to feel sorry for me
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>>27783613
I feel sorry for you
>>
He’s healing the hole she left
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>>27783801
I didn't heal it. She was one of a kind. I will forever miss her
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>>27783743
I also like losing a lot of weight so I look bad and physically sad too.
>>
I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm so alone that I'm starting to think of doing something drastic. People won't even acknowledge I have a problem. I tell them about how lonely I am, how unable to get laid I am, and they will literally just ignore me or change the subject. It's like they refuse to acknowledge or believe what I'm going through. Try to talk about it on 4chan or any other website, and it's my fault. And all my therapist does is affirm that it "must be hard", which is nice, but basic. Like how does that help me? I'm just at a fucking loss here.
>Inb4 so is everyone else
Sorry, then.
>>
>>27783827
Awww :( poor guy. Tell me more
>>
>>27781280
>I don't think I look good
>Nonsense, you look great
>But I'm too fat
>Do you want to lose weight? You're going to vanish
>What fo you mean? Look at this
>Yeah a bit of love handles who cares
>Well the fuck then why don't I get any attention?
>Just get yourself out there!
>... but I do? I mean I do, don't I?
>Well you have to try harder. Approach people, be rejected, you know?
>I see. But I hardly find people interesting, and the people I find interesting are way out of my league
>No such thing. Just bee yourself.
>Being myself is not working apparently
>Can't help you with that. Hey I'm sure there are people attracted to you, but if you wait for them you're not gonna get anywhere.
>Huh. I see. Guess I have to just find myself pretty enough then, yeah? Self confidence and the whole works.
>Yeah.
And back to step one
>>
Well that wasn't mean as a reply. Silly me.
>>
>>27783944
I'm horribly depressed and can't get a job
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>>27782207
Happy thanksgiving anon!
>>
My job is so stupid. I just sort mail essentiay. And it has important name too. I have no idea how to describe this shit in the cv either since it's so bullshit. I have masters in accounting and had nearly 0 experience but this job gives me nothing transferable. I don't feel like quitting it either since it's 90% WFH.
I'm scouting internet for ways to make this sound nice in cv.
>>
>>27784194
Worst part is when my family asks me what i do and I have to dance around it. I don't feel like approaching people or meeting anyone because I'd feel so stupid having to admit what i do all day which is just putting correct email in correct folders something I'm 100 % sure could be automated. What the fuck would i say if I ever got a match and a date
>So what do you do
>I work in banking
>But what do you do at work
>Ahhh you know ... Handle e-Mails :)
Its so fucking dumb. I just didn't want to be unemployed. Maybe it wouldve been better. Searching for a job while knowing i have to put the notice in seems like a pain in the ass.
>>
>>27784142
My god... poor guy :(
>>
I'm sick and tired of my mundane life. Fuck it's doing my head in, social isolation staying strong in sobriety just over a year sober and got my own place. have professional help and support so what am I bitching about? the fact that I'm a loser in the literal sense. I'm boxed in don't have any friends. have a grueling past that fucked me up long term and having thoughts of suicidal ideation, I do nothing all day. I need to stop taking lyrica it makes me too talkative and spins me out. I want to achieve and be apart of a successful life in society, if I just lay in bed all day because of depression how am I going to focus and comprehend the study work. Part of me feels your too stupid don't even attempt it. Have to stay determined and optimistic I've got nothing else going on so why not take my time and do it at a self paced level. Because I don't want to be on the pension my whole life, I want a job and all that. I gotta also force social interactions
>>
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I left her because she conflicted with my life goals.
I lied her with made up reasons, said that I didn't loved her and she wasn't for me, when in fact she was and is still the best person I've ever met.
Now I just feel bad and sad, I broke myself.
I am a monster.

But on the other hand, maybe I didn't love her, If I had loved her enough, I'd have chosen her instead of money and prestige.

Now I have money, but I'm alone with no interest in any other woman whatsoever, and she is gone.
>>
>>27784566
Hey I'm you but 8 years clean. Still no house, still no gf, still at a fucked up Bs job. Some times shits just too fucked to be fixed.

I always really hated all the "just be sober and life will be better" crap from the program.
>>
>>27784225
Lol. Ngl, that sounds pretty embarrassing.

Maybe you could use like 'Financial Documentation Analyst', or similar thing

Maybe you should do CPA and do mainstream accounting, or do CFA for finance job roles.

Those Certifications are very respected, and do some sort of internship, Don rely on WFH income, it might feel good rn but income growth might not be so good.
>>
I love you Rissa
>>
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I'm out of uni and I'm still a virgin
I made two good friends but now we live in different towns
Both have gfs, the one closest to me got his in the last semester, which was a punch in the gut for me
There are no reliable ways to meet new people
Work will be filled with normies
A master's degree will be too hard and I'll spent all of my free time on homework, so I wouldn't meet new people there either
I don't know what to do. I've lost all hope for my future at the ripe age of 23. I want to go to sleep and not wake up the next day.
I just want to love and be loved...
>>
>>27784629
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkKxmnrRVHo

It's too late, William. I know that you're my soulmate but I'm resigned to the status quo. Just know I love you.
>>
Yesterday I learned that I was loved by more people than I knew... it's a very good feeling...
Maybe I focus too much on the people who have hated me...
>>
William, it's like Michael Jackson said.
>"Your love is magical, that's how I feel but I have not the words here to explain, gone is the grace for expressions of passion but there are worlds and worlds of ways to explain"
>>
>>27784640
>Some times shits just too fucked to be fixed.
That sentence holds a lot of power, I cooked it and fucked my life and my image from grog and it seems irreparable. Yeah I'm sober now and safe/alive I just need to focus on improving my situation which I believe is possible if I dedicate myself. Your life sucks bro no offense, 8 years and still nothings breaking your way. Fuck that you're better than all this bullshit, perhaps it's a you problem or a society problem doesn't matter you need to adapt and fit in
>>
We didn't do anything wrong and I love you so much dude. I look up to you and I'm tired of pretendign I don't.
>>
>>27779721
>>27779739
>>27779753
Who are you people, what's your story?
>>
I'd love to have a mimosa with you and just stare into your eyes. Happy thanksgiving William you stupid fucking idiot
>>
>>27782073
It's pretty shit lmao
>>
Of course he has nothing to say. He never does. Fuck me, emotionally vulnerable for a minute and he has nothing to say.
>>
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>>27779000
I respectfully disagree. People discourage self-destructive behavior under the pretense of rationality, yet it's simple fear of their own emptiness... is what I want to say but I seriously lack experience outside my own little world. Still there those who's life is miserable enough that there's no harm in further harming yourself given that said harm is done with purpose behind it. Or perhaps I'm too broken and twisted to fall for the traps of simple pleasures. Like a petulant child throwing a tantrum after being denied dessert. You might offer an excuse, hugs and twice the candy to the child yet it won't sooth his heart, it will continue to trash about. Now repeat this often enough until candy loses its flavor and the child's bitterness becomes sweeter than any candy.

I'm just rambling and lost my train of thought midway through. Anyway, drugs, self-harm or whatever embrace it, consume it, enjoy it, discard it. As long as it produces something of value at the end the sacrifices are trivial. Don't consume but devour.
>>
WALKING DILDO
PRACTICE BOYFRIEND
WHY WASN'T I GOOD ENOUGH SIR
>>
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>>27784831
Don't just consume but devour.*
>>
Im just so done with people it's not even funny anymore im tired of trying to make friends for it to ALWAYS be a miserable experience to a point where Im just like I really fucking hate you all with all my heart, Lost a friendship of FIVE years because I took a break from social media and discord for a few weeks without saying anything, Like what the hell is wrong with people, Oh this person seems nice, they want people to talk to, Never says a word and never responds, even though they bitch about people not talking to them or engaging, Im at a fucking breaking point with these faggots
>>
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>>27784914
They're probably posting on reddit about cutting toxic people out of their life. lol
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>>27784914
I find most of the people on the internet have anxious-avoidant attachment styles.
>>
Could it be the trauma? Nnnnaaaahhhhh

Please live for yourself
>>
Or don’t make it my problem when relative to my goals and values you werecouldbe disgusting
>>
Young dumb and twiddling thumbs
>>
I'm hyped to go back to the gym. Have to start seriously working at my core as an accessory to my RDLs. I also finally purchased monster hunter rise and i love giving monsters rectal exams with the wyrmstake cannon. I also lost more cms on my waist and can shuffle effortlessly I'm so much lighter. I'm finally at my comfiest and most confident. I didn't score my crush this year, but that's okay. I'm bulletproof, bae LET'S GO LET'S GO
>>
I hate my ex
I despise her
I hope I get over it soon

This was one of the worst years I ever lived and I don't know how long it's gonna take me to pick up the pieces

I want to go back to being old me and remove the cancers, viruses and parasites she injected into me

I want to have my happiness, peace of mind and confidence back

I want to delete this bitch from my memory

It took all my restraint not to wreck her life on my way out. I'm seething in hatred and I regret my decision to pour so much time and effort into a failed, irresponsible, self loathing creature. I hate failed humans who parasitize stable people for some short term sense of security. They are as evil and as vile as psychopaths.

I hope I get my shit together soon. I want to rescue my future and I want to have a grip on my life. I want to reset and get back up.
>>
I'm feeling so good lately, I really hope it doesn't go straight to my head. I have a tendency of feeling better than other people, then I fall because of my hubris.
>>
>>27784629
Does she have someone new?
>>
>>27784629
If you had chosen her, now you would regret not having money.
>>
>>27785222
you me? when I get those feel good days too I want to take on the world and actually do shit but me saying that will kill all buzz by any little inconvenience..
>>
I just don't understand why you would ignore me after all we've been through. I've given you space and I've been more than respectful, now I want to know how you are doing and you just don't answer? I never did anything wrong to you, and yes, iit's your decision, sure, but I just don't understand how you could be completely in love with me three months ago and now ignore me like this. It is as if I never existed to you, and it hurts.
>>
>>27784668
Hobbies man, hobbies. Go to the gym, join courses, help the community, that's where you meet people.
>>
>>27785163
Me too
>>
>>27785474
What do you mean by courses
>>
Why am I even thinking about you, Valerie? I'm still blocked, I do know you don't want anything to do with me anymore, so why am I thinking about you, fraulein?
>>
It's only when I started living alone that marriage strated to seem like a good idea.
>>
>>27785505
Since I am here, I will tell you what I feel when I think about you, Valerie. It's mostly regret.
>>
I have no idea what to do regarding my friends. They've all become pot heads with much worse behavioral tendencies than before. I met up with a few of them yesterday, and they're all completely fucked. One of them was showing us "funny" porn subreddits and apparently didn't pick up on how awkward the whole ordeal was. When he doesn't want to watch porn with us, he wants to watch hood fights for the millionth god damn time. The other guy is widely insecure and paranoid; every time he drinks he won't stop trying to wrestle me. He always has something to prove, but he has a horrible time in proving whatever it is. The other guy is ok relative to the rest, but he is the quintessential frat boy. We did a fair amount of activities, but far too often two or all of the guys would just be on their phones. Two of these guys drove home drunk last night. I have another close friend that wasn't there that night, but he has his own assortment of problems. I'm convinced he has bipolar disorder, and that often makes interactions with him a chore. Ironically, he's at his most tolerable when he's high because his wild and disorderly tendencies are dumbed down.
>>
>>27784914
To be fair disappearing without a warning is a shit way to treat your friend
>>
>>27785522
What about talking to the friend you feel closer to about how you don't like the direction your circle is taking? Of course this won't work if he feels closer (by a wide margin) to the rest of them than with you.
>>
>>27784629
Take a walk and listen to OK computer
>>
Every fiber of my being is resisting becoming a normal human instead of just existing and doing nothing, FUCK
>>
>>27785523
I mean you're right it was, I should have at least told them what was going on and that I'll be back, the odd thing was they were the only one (out of the other friends I have) that got mad at me and never let me fully explain why I had to take a break, yes I should have said something but losing a 5 year friendship over something like this makes me think it wasn't mean to be if it can end over something like this
>>
>>27784822
Wtf do you want me to say? Why don't YOU tell me what you want?
>>
>>27785521
<3
>>
>>27785543
We've actually discussed it a few times, but his general response has been to become more isolated from the world. It's a weird development given that he used to be the highly outgoing kind of guy that I would rely on to shove me into social situations. Things are just really weird right now. I think psychedelics made a lot of his issues worse], he even hints at that idea sometimes.
>>
>>27785595
https://youtu.be/sNyX_YH_QHI
>>
>>27785595
Sometimes I miss you. I hope you're happy. I hope you remember the song I linked there >>27785672 too.
>>
>>27785595
<3
>>
>>27785732
Sorry :(
https://youtu.be/ECiMhe4E0pI
>>
>>27785023
>>27785029
>>27785036
Happy thanksgiving, Anon! I love you and wish you a great day!
>>
>>27785732
You’re song reminds me of this one
https://youtu.be/_sQGwDeambg
>>
I often look at this girl in my classroom (not the creepy bastard look), she's really pretty and even more with her glasses on, too bad I won't ever do shit
and happy thanksgiving to every muhricans anon
>>
>>27785465
Did you receive my email?
>>
I love, love, love you. Forever. I hope you are happier now but I also hope we can see each other again soon. I’m always your baby even if you don’t want me.
>>
Oh how far we have come since the thanksgiving where we were cutting ourselves waiting for our food. I dare say that on this day I am quite happy and content. I no longer have need of those old acts. And I could die this instant and still be satisfied in having lived a good, fulfilled life. I have found the beauty and the love

Thank you
>>
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I can feel that I'm not going to post on this website anymore soon.

It feels like a strange wind blowing from some new direction.

This is my favorite place to collect images and wallpapers though, so I might still use it for that.

<3
>>
>>27785564
>the odd thing was they were the only one (out of the other friends I have) that got mad at me
It's not odd, quite the opposite. The closer you are to somebody the more stunts like the one you pulled hurt. I agree that ending the friendship maybe was too much, but it would be damaged for a long time nonetheless
>>
>>27786178
may you find what you need
>>
>>27785626
Does he agree with you about the situation? If yes you should take a more active role in pursuing him, inviting (only) him to hang out and trying to help him with his issues
>>
You the type a man to stay hydrated wit a sausage
>>
I fucking hate you. You tell that I'm toxic and a negative influence which made me feel awful because you were always nice to me. You cut all all contact with me because you think it's better for you, which hurts but I can respect. BUT then some months later you come back and tell me that you're sorry and you want everything like it used to be? No, fuck you, I usually don't hold grudges but I got tired of your shit
>>
>>27786501
Sorry. I never knew how good I had it until I hooked up with the other guy
>>
>>27785761
Why did I see that only now and not when you posted it?

Anyway, don't be sorry. I fucked up.
>>
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"Your interpersonal behavior is not really gelling with the rest of the group, including me" - says the faggot who jumped straight to kicking me out without even so much as talking to me first about it
Nice to know you're actually just an autistic retard who never got over being bullied in school to the point that you just unload all your expectations on others without communicating it
I have worse autism but at least I understand relationships are a two way street, even at half your age you dumb cunt
>>
>>27778917
You were right. You told me I'd regret getting closer to you, that one day I'd say I wished I'd never met you, and you were fucking right. I was so confident I could handle it but I was wrong and you were right.
>>
I thought he was only talking to me but turns out he talks to other people as well,yet he says that he wants a gf how will he get a gf when he cant even be loyal to one and my dumbass was feeling bad for replying to other guys so i stopped..too soon i guess
>>
>>27787398
I warn men for a reason to stay away and they never listen. My pain is too immense for love and sex. Learn from this.
>>
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Everyone is mad at me and I don't know why but now I'm angry too. I don't owe them anything.
>>
>>27787514
The problem stems entirely from her constantly pushing me away and seeking new validation from new men because she claims she's afraid of letting herself become too emotionally dependent on a single person.

I'm kind of over trying to make it work, kind of pissed I got so emotionally invested in her when she makes no effort for herself.
>>
>>27787569
>>she claims she's afraid of letting herself become too emotionally dependent on a single person.

This is a huge red flag. If she warned you then stay away. It's that simple rea!ly.
>>
>play RPG
>complain that endgame is OP
You fucking retard, it’s an RPG. You are supposed to be overpowered by the end of the game.
>>
I have no one and nothing at 18 because I am supposed to be dead none of this makes sense and everyone hates me because I am a waste of oxygen and should be dead the chances of every person you meet genuinely hating me the way its been are actually lower than getting struck by lightning multiple times which leads me to believe this whole place and everyone here is not for me and that for the sake of everyone else I should just sack my shit up and die like the worthless piece of shit I am
>>
I confessed yesterday after ages and I was waiting for some kind of catharsis, it was getting hard to focus. What the fuck is this pit in my stomach? I still can't focus, I still feel like I'm going insane. It's like there's a side of me that's completely logical and disconnected from these feelings and can look at the whole picture without any problem, but then there's the other side that feels like he's down bad with a fever, sweating and shaking. Before I was miserable hiding my feelings, and now I'm going insane overthinking and going on depressing tangents.
>>
I'm low key hoping somebody somehow will swoop in and fucking save me I'm like 4 days deep into a mental episode when they usually only last a day tops and the pain is getting fucking unbearable I've been putting on a good facade but I think I'm starting to crack I don't even understand where the pain is coming from, or why, or how to alleviate it. God please fix my brain and make this shit stop I feel like I've been in a slow motion panic attack for 3 days now
>>
>>27787716
Our father who art in heaven; hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come; thy will be done; on earth as it is in heaven, give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us when we trespass as we have forgiven those who trespass against us; lead us not unto temptation, but deliver us from evil; amen.
>>
>>27787742
Thank you anon
>>
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>>27778917
When I was a kid I grew up in a house with my grandparents. My parents were still young and so they had problems and weren't over partying. As a consequence I was left with my grandmother who watch over us as we played video games. I recall not really ever having conversations about things. She told me there was a God but didn't explain much about it.

My grandfather was a sociopath who prefered "living in the basement with the spiders" and bought me my first Black Sabbath CD when I was young. I loved Tony Iommi's guitar playing and Ozzy's voice and that's what started me on music I think. That and jazz heard in cartoons on TV. There was an old organ at my great grandmothers house and I would try to make jazz by poking around the notes, but they kept telling me to stop messing with it... I have a lot of memories about my childhood there, but those aren't as relevant...

My cousins houses were all filthy, completely disgusting. Rotten food on the ground, mold growing up the walls. The smell of cat piss, and shit. Piles of wet things everywhere. Dishes that never got done. All these kids lived together in this house and no cleaning ever got done. The basement was probably toxic. I went down there once or twice, it was partially flooded I think and the stalagmites of moldy clothes reached several feet of the ground. - There was another house that looked exactly like this. My uncle and aunt lived there. They were roommates from different sides of the family. I have a lot of memories from these places and there are too many things to recount. The house from Resident Evil VII looks tame in comparison to these places, and that's no exaggeration.

My grandmother's house was dark and dingy, tobacco stained the walls. Everything was a 60s antique ready to fall apart. Paint chipping. My mother never had time for me.

My main sources of positivity were the television and playstation and nintendo. These things were havens.
>>
>>27787829
I had a lot of adventures running around the neighborhood with other kids, we discovered secrets hidden in plain sight... I imagine that kids these days probably do not go through these experiences. Again there are too many specific memories to write down.

I grew attracted to attic and basement spaces, I think because I was programmed to think of the love I got from my grandmother when I saw things falling apart like that. For a while I lived at my grandmothers house with the bronze antiques, and picture frames, and dust and mold and dark in the basement. There wasn't any kind of internet, just comic books, pens and paper. I never was able to make anything very valuable with these. I still have my comic book ideas.

When I became a high school student I met another kid who lived in a dingy house with a dingy basement who was making very heavy sludge metal music. A mutual friend, who had a brother was the drummer and they considered letting me sing in their band, but felt that I was too young....

I became enamoured with this kid and I would go to his house any chance I could get to be around the darkness and the speakers. We messed around with the memory man pedals. I remember one halloween he had the speakers set up to scare kids walking past his decrepit house. I learned about underground music there, everything heavy, alternative, underground. It was all about heavy and dark music from there. I was addicted to the evil and powerful moods. I was even addicted to the discomfort of those spaces. It was definitely rebellious. There are good things that you are supposed to like, and then there are the dark things that you are supposed to dislike. I wanted to prove that you could thrive in these kinds of environments and still persist as a happy person with a sense of individual expression. I wanted to be tribally gothic and to belong to this truly. I liked pushing the envelope on how scary and dark I could be...
>>
I love my family but goddamn I'm so disappointed in all of them. Grown adults indulging in all this bullshit self-loathing and children who spend so much time watching YouTube they barely know how to talk like humans. I always thought I was the fucked up one but apparently I'm the only one who exercised my demons at a healthy age. Like adulthood has just shit on my siblings in all of the ways that happened to me ten years earlier, and now they're acting like fucking children over it when it's like, fuck you, this is just life, this has been my life and none of you fuckers were there for me when I realized it and had to cope but now I have to be here for you when you realize it. Makes me fucking sick. Life kicks you in the nuts, fucking listen to some sad music and jerk off and journal about it but how fucking dare you make me indulge it. And then your fucking kids? You really just let it get to this point? You never thought about the screen parenting and what it would do? Fuck off.
>>
>>27787908
I'm not being completely straightforward though. This theme of darkness has been with me since I was a kid. My grandparents first date was to see Night of The Living Dead and this was a special movie for them. Zombie horror was like a family thing. Resident Evil was also important. I developed a fascination with eye iconography from the title screen of the first game. Throughout, though I have maintained a healthy interest in other things...

I didn't understand why things were like this, or that they were even very abnormal until I was into adulthood. I'm still figuring some of this stuff out. There's too much to write down.

I have wanted to be done with the dark side of life for a few years, but it's what I learned from osmosis. It's an intrinsic part of me.

There is a picture in my mind of happiness that is starting to disappear. In this fantasy I'm sitting in my own rented house with the door open, and I have a partner with me. She asks if I want to go to the store to get something to snack on and I say "okay". We both get suited up and go on a walk through the neighborhood. In this fantasy I am living alone with my partner and we don't have a dog or any kids or anything. Just a space for me and her. An uncomplicated life.

My mind in that fantasy is unclouded and it sees things clearly. The reality of things is that my mind is kind of like a messy radio signal with a lot of static interpolated with random interference from other radios. I'm not completely sure how normal that is.
>>
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>>27785388
She's engaged now. For her it might have been easy, for her, she left someone who didn't want her. I left someone who wanted me.

>>27785404
Yeah.
Now The problem isn't her or our past relationship.
The problem for me is that I don't try to get into new relationships. Every new girl that I meet, I subconsciously compare them with my ex.

When I had the relationship with my ex, I was nobody. I always get a feeling that my ex wanted me for who I was, these new girls want me for what I have.
Maybe It will get better.

Love You guys, Happy Thanksgiving.
>>
It's so easy to pick up women, but it doesn't change the fact that I hate them all.
>>
>>27788124
We love you too, buttercup
>>
>>27787829
>>27787908
>>27788008
This all has to be compressed and abandoned in the search for identity. These things are a part of me and I collected experiences with these lenses.
>>
>>27788752
Good to know. That means my ex and I both took each other’s virginity.
>>
>>27778917
I wish so badly that I could just call you one more time to tell you that I hate you for your own sake. I don’t hate you because of my mother. I hate her too, she was worse to me than you ever were and I didn’t cut ties just to please her. I’m not her “narcissist’s flying monkey,” stop using psych terms that you don’t even understand. We barely even speak anymore. You’re still obsessed with her, it’s painfully obvious, just like she’s still obsessed with you, but she didn’t do this. I did this, because I hate you. Because you hurt every pet I ever had. Because you groped her in front of me. Because you gambled and drank all our money. Because when you found out I was suicidal, you took out a life insurance plan on me. Because you still can’t self examine enough to think that maybe you ever did something wrong to me, even once. You literally said you have never done anything wrong to me. Even a great parent has done some things wrong, and you were a garbage parent. And because I still don’t know what else you did. I still don’t know what happened, I’ll never know, I’ll never remember. So no, I will not call you, even to tell you to fuck off. I will not spend thanksgiving with you. I am not your child. And I did this, because I am my own person and I can hate two people at once.
>>
went to rhode island last week, way more black people there than I thought would be there
>>
I'm tired of being my family's problem solver. They never call me unless they need something. Yet if I refuse I end up feeling bad about it and then end up helping them anyway. I'm so sick and tired of this.
>>
>>27788966
Bro what? I live in rhode island, there are like no blacks here. The only minorities here are in providence.
Literally go anywhere else and it's honkeyville.
>>
Not that I am racist or anything
>>
>>27788977
I was talking about Providence.
>>
>>27788985
Yeah no shit, it's a sanctuary city that's filled with low income people who keep shitting where they eat. Literally everyone outside of providence hates the city now because there's barely a week goes by when there isn't a gang related shooting happening and a bunch of scumbags on ATV and dirtbikes taking control of the streets.
A literal shit hole, I'm sorry to came to this state to just go to the worst part of it, might as well have gone to the beaches or iggys or some shit.
>>
The demographics of the providence has to be skewed somehow. I think the mulattos must be self reporting as white on the census.
>>
>>27788991
I like how sanctuary cities only attract mexicans and south americans. You never hear of some dude from Nova Scotia deciding to pack it up and move to New York.
>>
>>27788997
I mean it's been a more recent change. The violence really kicked up during covid and now it's just a shit hole where they refuse to be hard on the law enforcement there so people keep getting shot left and right and they just keep fucking it up.
Place used to have a decent night life on federal hill if anything, but you wouldn't catch me dead in that place now at night. I'm looking to catch a stray bullet or some shit. Sorry you wasted your time here.
>>
You are also a really weird person. I don't think I've told you that either. I mean, in far from a bastion of normality and I'm pretty weird myseld, but perhaps the simplest way for me to describe the way I understood you is 'weird'. Not saying it's negative it positive; just neutral. Weird.
>>
The older I get the more I realize my parents are subhumans who had no business raising kids.
>>
>>27778917
Next time you threaten to harm me, I'll end you.
>>
I'm not sure about the Refuge ceremony. I'm afraid, basically. I'm not ready to give up the . . . explorations? The dramatizations and the games. The spectacle. The bullshit. The entertainments. What will I be without the distractions that have gotten me through? I don't feel ready. I thought I was, but now that it's soon, I don't want to give it up. But I know it's necessary--a beginning is also an ending--and maybe that's why it's hard to let go. that life will end. but it being hard is why it's so necessary, too.

I wonder what my name will be
heh, such a silly thing to be excited about. it's just symbolism. it means only what we want it to mean--but in this case, for me, it'll mean a lot. This is it. No go backs. no half measures. All the way
>>
I'm an useless tiny fat slob non-binary XX-chromosome 35 years old Brazilian mutt who's physically and mentally ill and generally not useful for anything and who doesn't even deserve friends, but I won't kill myself because I hate everyone so much I will make my very existence a living annoyance to everyone else around me. I don't care anymore, I want everyone to just drop dead and to suffer while they do so.

I don't want mercy. I'm not a human being,after all.
>>
I fantasize about the girls I'm teaching now who are 7-8 hitting me up for hot secret sex when they hit 14-16
>>
>>
>>27789146
I accept my parent's limitations, mental or otherwise.
>>
big NOPE
>>
Serious question: what makes a guy stop supporting his own children and person he always claimed to love?
He can can wash his hands if his responsibilities he made. Don’t matter. They are still there.
What do I do?
>>
>>27789146
However they did, if you are here. Maybe you were made out of love and one of them is a narcissist, bpd, woman hater so now you have a shit hand life dealt you.
Good luck! Lol
>>
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>>27790030
Make friends.
>>
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>>27790499
I'm not a father yet. But I don't imagine myself abandoning my children.
Being a father is a thankless job, but I must do it nonetheless.
>>
>>27790499
They were always shitty dudes.
>>
>>27790338
No, big YES
GTH222
>>
I've seen Mari El's lookalike today and she is cuter than her

Mari El, did I ever tell you your lookalike is cuter than you?
Jules
>>
>>27791983
>>27791983
JULES

Get in the Delorean! There's no time for questions. It concerns Mari El and your children. We have to go back to where it all started, back to 1985!!!
>>
>>27792377
Neither of us were alive in 1985 and I don't have kids with Mari El lol
>>
>>27792425
You have kids together in the future. Something important happened back in 1985 that changes the course of events and erases your children from existence. Look, I don't have time (lol) to explain right now. Just get in the fucking time machine . . .
>>
>>27792450
>You have kids together in the future
With Mari El? I doubt that would happen.
>>
I genuinely want to kill myself these days. I have little hope for my future, and think it'd be way better if I just went berserk and killed as many that I think have wronged me as I could before being put down.
>>
>>27789288
I love you too, buttercup
>>
>>27778917
>>27778917
Undermining my independence and freedom. That's exactly it too. I'm etheir too depressed or drunk enough to rant tonight.
>>
I went back to CVS and built up the guts to buy that masturbator i wanted. I went to self checkout and covered the picture on the box with some chocolate but I did it. What I really wanted was the vibrating butt plug, but it was behind glass and i was not asking an employee to open it so i could grab a butt plug.
>>
>>27792459
Yes, with her. You have to believe me. She's the one. But the scheming, still-jealous Valerie didn't like this, so she stole the time machine from the Rota of the future aka me, not past Rota (long story there, Val and I became bitter lovers) and Val used the stolen time machine to travel back to 1985--a pivotal moment--and changed the course of history by birthing a temporal time baby with the Norwegian's Chad father. That baby later becomes a rich Chad that eventually meets Mari El and steals her away from you thus preventing your relationship with her from ever forming in the first place and dooming your children to the void of nonexistence

So get in the delorean and let's go. I have a plan
>>
>>27792637
I'm just feeling like shit. I feel so pathetic, and like such a loser.I'm 32 and still sitting at my parents house doing the same shit and all I wanted was something different and better. I literally have no life.
>>
>>27792789
Parents are arguing with my brother about my nieghbor starting shit with him, I'm tired of the yelling and depressing shit. It's all depressing and I had no one to be around, and no where to go, not one option.
>>
>>27792810
Yeah, he beat 3 off his friends bad, knocked out the one guy and he was crying. All because their "pure, christian girl" wanted his dick and they started shit. Two years ago, still bitched at him about it. Welp, nothing would have happened and no one would have been taught if no one acted weird and protective of her. So you and your buddies got embaressed, oh well.

I bet that girls getting facefucked in the back on the church van, that type of girl. Why am I even telling y'all this? No one cares anyway.
>>
>>27792843
She's a family member of theirs, so they were just overprotective, she was all over him, and punches started flying and 3 people got beat bloody. Tough ass army guy was the one crying, saw that connect. POP, he just drops like a rag doll.
>>
>>27792858
Hear my mom "what you did was a felony!", self defense when 3 people go after you and blindside you only for you to beat their asses is fucking self defense. Fuck, I need to go get me some cigs.
>>
>>27778917
>>27778917
I rejected and gave up on my best friend after she asked me out because I was worried about what everyone else would think. I feel like I ruined the kind person who helped me open up and feel confident in myself, and the only person I've really loved since. We almost never talk anymore, and I don't think she's ever forgiven me. I see flashes of her sometimes when I talk to other people, and it reminds me of my failure as a man, as a friend, and that I'm a person who hurts people. Now that we went across the country for college, I'll never be able to fix it, to tell her that it was my fault, that there was nothing wrong with her. And I feel like I'll never truly absolve myself of that guilt. Every Christmas I remember the good times, when, even though my parents were fighting, she made sure I had a nice Christmas at her home. And every Christmas I'm reminded of what I did, and it fills me with rage and abject sadness at my own disregard for human life. I hate myself for it.
>>
Is 90s campiness and nostalgia about to be cancelled? Asking for a friend.
>>
>>27793177
No, because Nobody is having kids, the millennials will remain one of the largest demographics of society in general for decades. The 90s are the new 60s and the 60 are the new 40s or something. I forget how it works but there's like a formula for predicting how generations nostalgize and mythologize, etc.
>>
>>27793177
Like I think we're starting to think of the early 1900s like people used to think of the Victorian era. You see like Lovecraft and stuff like that. I bet Looney Tunes come back or people yearn for it. Maybe Superman gets a revival. I mean you already do see that in the YouTube algorithms.
>>
>>27793213
>>27793221
That makes me feel better. Love anything pre 9-11 and 70s stuff. Thanks Sean.
>>
>>27793232
Sean was here since last summer
>>
>>27793255
Well the 2000s will also join the party soon as the new 80s, and the last decade I think is the 90s weirdly with sort of economic stagflation and angsty teens. It doesn't always line up perfectly but sometimes it does and it makes it look like history rhymes or something. There might be a great recession but I think society will blossom, and America will have a new golden era like the 1950s around 2050ish, weirdly.
>>27793232
Stop being weird at me. I'll call the internet police and backtrace you.
>>
>>27793308
>>think is the 90s weirdly with sort of economic stagflation and angsty teens

That's why it was fun and I don't want t to see it cancelled
>>
>>27793329
That, and it was before all this pronoun and troon crap.
>>
>>27778917
I’m getting extremely close to killing myself. I know how I would do it and I catch myself thinking about it more and more every day. I’ve lost all enjoyment for things I was once passionate about and everything day feels like grinding sandpaper. I can’t bear the pain of living anymore, the only pain that seems more severe is to actually go through with suicide and put that burden on my innocent child. I feel like suicide is the only way to make those who have wronged me live with the reality of what they have done, as long as I am breathing apparently I am easily ignored. The pain I’m experiencing right now even just parsing these thoughts is unbearable, my heart is immeasurably broken and I no longer want to do this.
>>
>>27794017
And you'll be harder to ignore once you're 7 feet under? kek
>>
>>27794193
It won’t matter at that point will it?
>>
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I want a sexy sex partner for sex
>>
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder
>Prognosis: Typically poor
great
im a social fuck up and theres nothing that can be do be about it
>>
31 year old gay virgin here. How do I get over my fear of other people and intimacy to have sex for the first time? I have seriously low self-esteem and body image issues and mental illness
>>
idk why i have to be so shy all the time,ive missed so many things in life being like that
>>
I think it's really funny how hard you're coping.

Yes, ironically double down on the thing I criticized you for and adopt it as a personality trait, surely this won't make you seem more pathetic.
>>
I just need to get out of here, this life sucks.
>>
>>27794462
What trait?
>>
I fucking HATE Instacart shoppers

Jesus Christ, you fucking faggot. All you have to do is buy the things on the list.
Read the things on the list, and buy them.

FFS, just run through the aisles and make one round trip. I can tell you faggots mindlessly zigzag around for an hour and get mad at your own shit brains.
Why the fuck you skipping multiple aisles to grab shit then doubling back to the aisles you just skipped?
Why the hell do you fags keep trying to swap items without swapping the price difference?
Why do you faggots not read signs?

This doesn't mean "send me random blurry unreadable photos of the shelf to pick a new item bc you were too lazy to look" (the site says it's in stock faggot, and IT'S IN YOUR FUCKING PICTURES )
This doesn't mean "Literally give up and refund the last few items because you're impatient" (NO FAGGOT YOU DIDN'T SOMEHOW FIND OUT THAT THE LAST TWO ITEMS, ACROSS THE GOD DAMN STORE WERE OUT OF STOCK AT THE SAME TIME YOU GOT FUCKING LAZY)

I get shopping at big box stores is fucking AIDS but if you weren't forcing me to babysit your room temperature IQ I'd be pretty reasonable with substitutions and tip GOOD. I'm fucking easy to please and throw money at people when they do good shit.

I'm not okay with you fucking my grocery list, and therefore my food for weeks, out of literal laziness. I hate having to talk to the support that's also retarded.
Support literally told me the reason you have to input the amount of produce in numbers and they just guess the weight and total cost is "because the shoppers got confused."

They got confused by a fucking scale?
>>
I had sex with my boyfriend and it was both of our first times and I really liked it I think it was cute and felt nice and we cuddled after but we didnt really talk about it and hes kinda retarded so how do I tell him I wanna fuck again
>>
>>27778917
I’m sorry. I wish I could make you care that I’m sorry. But it’s not possible to make another person care. I know that, and that’s why I never kill myself. It would be pointless. And that’s why when I’m done bludgeoning my head, I don’t tell you. I tell strangers here. And I listen to them as they proceed to not care, just like you would not care. Just like everyone does not care. And the answer is always “do better, work harder, hurt yourself a little deeper.” There is no amount that would be enough. I am poisoned as a person, I am inherently toxic. The very bottom of the well is poisoned. My family is all obsessive bitches like me, as if we’re all cursed. I was born this way. And I was born a woman, and I believe the things they say about women. Over the years I have come to believe it. My sexuality is disgusting, my body is disgusting, my trauma is disgusting, the man I love will never want me but my suffering is less than that of any man. I am blackpilled. When you told me you were marrying her, I didn’t even cry. But I almost laughed. Something inside of me snapped. I think about it so much, how I wish I had been killed as an infant and my father had gone away and had a son with someone else. A son who would have grown up to befriend you, and to love and be loved by you as only men can love one another. I am sorry I was so unlike your friends. I am sorry. And there is nothing, nothing I can do to make others really care that I’m sorry for being what I am.
>>
>>27794462
You're an asshole, anon
>>
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>>27778917
Remembering those three weeks in Greece is enough to raise me from the dead. All that hard work. All that laughter and smiling. All those friendships, even with the petty drama in between. I was practically on death row before that, and after seeing what paradise is like, I can't wait to get back to it.

Tasos, I want to see you again, my friend. You'll be getting another bottle of scotch, on me. And I'll weep all the same when I have to leave. Viva Iklaina.
>>
>>27794213
>>27794404
Make your move
>>
>>27794462
I forgot to add that you doing this in mockery of me makes this even funnier. Feel free to make an idiot out of yourself for as long as it takes for you to compartmentalize your own shame.
>>
>>27795180
still an asshole, anon
>>
Man, I have a lot more free time than I thought if I ignore my laptop/phone.
>>
I just realized I was raised by friendless agoraphobic NEETs and that's why I'm so fucking weird. My mom is neurotic as fuck and only talks to my Aunt. My dad is basically autistic mute and barely spoke to me my entire childhood and has 0 friends. Neither of them work, they live off lawsuit money, and like I said they are shutins. They go nowhere. And I grew up in the boonies. So yup that's why I'm a neet weird fucking woman with no friends as an adult.
>>
Stories get made about the rich while the poor get forgotten.
>>
>>27778917
I have spiraled into the pit that is apathy, I no longer care about what happens around me and I've pretty much become self isolated to the world out of sheer indifference. What do I do?
>>
>>27794883
I was one of those shoppers. It's honestly kind of easy, but the majority of the time we simply wouldn't have two items on the list in the store.

Also, if we can't find something in the store, we have to go to a supervisor and tell them we can't find it, then scan some barcode they have. It makes it a pain in the ass to miss items. Honestly I hated doing it because of the frequency I had to hunt down someone with a barcode for just not having stuff in the store.

The app/website whatever you are using is the thing lying, we simply do not have your merchandise in the store yet.
>>
The day looms. Approaches. This is THE vow.

What if I truly am just a big, absolute phony and have no merit? I feel so unworthy of joining the lineage. I feel like backing out. I am not worthy
I don't even know if I truly believe or not and that's NOT good

AAHHHHHHHHGGGGFFFJDJJDJD
>>
>>27795666
Jesus Christ those digits
c-confirmed?
>>
"That you're worried and have doubts is proof that you're taking it seriously. That you're taking it seriously is proof of your merit."
Yeah idk there Lama. Not exactly the most rigorous logic

It's only a matter of time before they see the real me. They always do.

No no no
Don't spiral
>>
>>27792671
I have a better plan: asking you what you smoked to come up with such nonsense, aside having watched Back to the future.
>>
>>27795748
Present Rota here, chiming in. Yeah, I don't know what the fuck future Rota is smoking there. Any plan that would rely on you--Julian--in any way in order to work, is a BAD plan. And another thing, why would she reveal her plans here where past Val(past from future Rota's frame of reference, present Val to ours) can see the plan?? Val takes notes, and will remember seeing the plan and then prevent future Rota from ever coming here and enlisting you for her own plan. It's just so stupid. Unless . . . unless, once you jump in the delorean with her, she plans to go back slightly in time to before she made her posts so that she can stop herself from posting in order that Val never sees them and is none the wiser while you two go back further in time to carry out whatever mission she has in store . . .

Oh, and Jules? If you end up going with her, sweetie, please make future Me take you to Milwaukee like I wanted to do. Then again, if future me is really still me just from the future, then she will surely remember regretting not going there with you and she won't need to be reminded. I know that *I* wouldn't need to be reminded. It's one of my biggest regrets. Then again, that only raises the question, doesn't it? That if she had a genuine FUCKING TIME MACHINE, why didn't she ALREADY go back in time to fix her largest regret? Why would the timeline where she never met you in Milwaukee have still be a thing?
>>
>>27795841
Rota, what is it exactly that you want?
>>
>>27795849
To go to Milwaukee with you <3

HOLY SHIT WAIT. What if you, like, hear me reveal this right now, and then like, you make fun of me or reject me in some way, and then I carry the resentment of that rejection with me into the future and THAT is why I never came back in time to take you to Milwaukee?!? And what if . . . what if future me felt the sting of your soon-to-come rejection of my current advances SOOO STRONGLY that it went beyond resentment for her and delved into plotting revenge against you for the perceived slight? Might she come back in time to the present, to now, and try to manipulate you into "going back to save your children" as a ruse? Where she truly intends to do you harm instead?

I might have just foiled future Rota's schemes. Which are my own schemes? A-am I truly my OWN foil? My own . . . enemy?
>>
>>27795880
>check discord
>there is no friend request from you
>we haven't spoke in a long while
What kind of answer are you expecting to get?
>>
My husband got diagnosed with mild schizophrenia. It's apparently auditory and stuff, so he hears things that aren't there. Makes sense because he's a very quiet and lonely type of guy, very lonely. His family loves and accepts him but he's still scared that people won't trust him the same despite him never listening to any fucked up shit his head says and never hurting a fly. His sister still asks us to watch over her daughter (single mom, business owner) and trusts her little brother with her life, as do I. It hasn't changed much aside from the fact that he's been more worried recently in general.
It's been very hard for him at work recently too (neurosurgeon) and now that he's on medication he's scared it will impact his work even though he's the best one around. He's a bit more sleepy than before, and quite emotional (before it wasn't like that at all), last night he asked me if he could cry for a while and it breaks my heart to know he thought he needed permission. Of course I said yes and he did, not even sobbing, just quietly holding me and crying. It's likely not a recurring problem, I know, but still it breaks my heart how he's so scared of failure and his illness that's out of his control and not even that prominent affecting him. I love him more than life and I hope he gets better. Even if he doesn't, I'll stay with him forever regardless.

I love you Leo, please know I do. I have no heart to tell you I'm carrying your child inside me right now, I'm scared you may have enough on your plate. I'll wait a week or two before telling you, wait until you feel better and more secure in your life. Then we can decide whether to keep it or not and then continue life as it is. <3
>>
>>27795900
I'm sorry, Jules. I love you--but I love myself more, and that includes my future self. I've said enough. I don't want to ruin whatever it is I'm scheming to do

Goodbye forever, my summer Italian fling lover boy . . .
>>
JULES

Just get in the FUCKING delorean already. We can talk about your stupid fighter jets or whatever. I'll even put my hand on your leg if you want me to. Just don't listen to that other Rota. She's probably Valerie anyways. Get in the fucking car holy shit, I'm about to just abduct you
>>
>>27795911
Rota, I know you enough to think you're not sorry and you don't love me. I may not be a genius but I'm not dumb either.
>>
>>27795924
Uh, this is awkward. I'm almost afraid to reply to you--future myself--just in case doing so creates temporal anomalies or time distortions or something. But I'm also curious to see what happens, so . . .
>>
I will give you a word of advice, Kris, if I may.

The next time you try something silly like this, make sure to add me back on discord before love bombing me, because getting talked to the way you did without having any direct communication to me means mostly one thing: I'm being lead on.
>>
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>>27795951
I forgot my image. My bad.
>>
>>27795939
>But I'm also curious to see what happens
Hah, of course you are. I've already accounted for you--for myself, for us. In the future, I know thy self well. Trust me. I become much smarter, more manipulative, and more scheme-ier than you. You couldn't foil my plan even if you tried. That's how many steps ahead of you I am. It's cute that you think you could ever possibly expose my cunning plan!! You couldn't even BEGIN to understand how much better than you I am
Top lel, you . . .
>>
>>27795971
>manipulative
That's the main reason why I dislike you. And just so you know, I don't mind you being asian at all.
>>
>>27795971
>You couldn't foil my plan even if you tried
Is that a fucking challenge, bitch? Wow, I really can't believe how arrogant future me becomes. I'm almost tempted to humble myself here.

Also, you have miscalculated the disparity in power. I hold all the cards. I have all the power. If you want to power play with me, you will lose. I could kill myself RIGHT NOW and you'll never. Even. Exist.

Tempt me. Fuck around and find out
>>
Girls are indeed being a challenge. Why do they feel so objectified when you simply talk about their gender? THEY DO THE SAME THING TO MEN! Shit I don't know which is worse in this world I am with a girl, being seen as a successful prissy queen or being seen as though Satan opened up the cracks of our world to wreck havoc on this Earth. How about an average guy? Can we go with average guy? NOPE APPARENTLY THAT ONE SHORT RICH GUY IS THE AVERAGE GUY. Shit I don't think they're ever going to give me closure.
>>
>>27795984
>I could kill myself RIGHT NOW and you'll never. Even. Exist
ABSOLUTE KEK
Are you even listening to yourself right now? You're going to kill yourself in order to beat me? THAT is your power move? Ahahahahahhaha

I can't believe I was ever this retarded. HAHAH. Just wow

The fact that I was even able to come back in time to have this conversation with you right now is proof that you didn't/couldn't/wouldn't kill yourself . . .

You're absolutely pathetic
>>
hungover, feeling like shit
>>
Fuck sake I move back to my moms and my sister is already starting issues with me. It took just 1-2 days for her to start acting up and demanding every single fucking bit of my attention and saying shit like “kill yourself faggot” and “I hate you” when she’s holed up in her room. My parents spoil the fuck out of her I should’ve never moved back god fucking damnit what the hell is her problem?
>>
it's over
>>
>>27796652
Cunt mother fucking bitch I want to slice my skin open and crawl out of myself why do people expect so much of me when I can barely take care of myself? I fucking hate people so much at this point, I’m not bothering or harassing anyone and yet I still get treated like fucking shit
>>
>>27784225
Beats the hell out of a lot of other jobs you could be doing. Be thankful you have a comfy gig no one says you have to die there
>>
Are we there?
>>
>>27796611
What did you drink? Was it a celebration of sorts?
>>
>>27795951
You can ALWAYS text/call even write me a letter lol it’ll get better
I miss your wise words and me telling you my ways of wonder.
>>
>>27796894
Why would I ever want to write you a letter?
>>
>>27793108
You should try to talk to her and apologize. You say you barely talk to her so she hasn’t completely cut you off right? No better time than the present to bury the hatchet. If she refuses to forgive you then it’s on her but it will definitely help you to alleviate the feelings of guilt.
>>
I’m going to kidnap you and detox you in all the ways you’ll never crave another day.
Your heart and soul will be pure, paradise will be a closed door.
>>
>be friends with a woman
>content with being friends and just hanging out
>she starts giving me a short summary of every male relationship in her life and how she doesn’t want them
No not again I’m finally good
>>
>>27796894
Also, I'm pretty sure I'm still blocked so wtf are you on about, Rota?
>>
>>27797026
Who’s this “Rota” you keep going on about?
>>
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Lack of commitment makes me want to die alone.
>>
>>27797088
She's somebody I used to know.
>>
I wish I wasn't so anxious and avoidant about everything in life and just overthink everything. Sometimes I have this urge to just go out and do something, like move to another country, live there for awhile, do that thing, but then I think about how I have no idea how to even go about it, like I need a complete 101 on these things to even get started otherwise I just feel like an idiot for even considering doing something I have 0 clue about. Because I know that if I think of doing that, I'll do my best to prepare and then fuck something up and miss some important detail and then either go through with it and fuck everything up, or I just get stuck and know I can't figure something out so I give up on the thing alltogether. I wish I was a different person, so that I could at least enjoy life for once.
>>
My parents both have annoying things about them and they each blame each other for shit. My mom likes to talk over people, idk what it is, you can be in the middle of saying something and she'll cut you off and talk over you, and when you try to keep talking to sort of give a hint that you're not finished yet in hopes that she'll cut herself off and let you finish speaking, she talks past that anyway, even if you go on for literally 10 seconds, she just won't acknowledge that. Once I told her if she can stop cutting me off, but then she got offended by it and next time I was speaking and she cut me off and I didn't stop she felt like she was in the right to tell ME to stop cutting HER off.
My dad has a temper on the other hand and just gets mad when things like that happen, even today they were just having a nice chat about their day, but dad was talking, mom cut him off, he got mad, told her to stop and let him finish, then the conversation got very uncomfortable for me and I felt like I just didn't want to be around anymore, but it didn't phase them, because they're used to doing this to each other all the time and they don't have the capacity to understand you can start changing these things, so they just prefer to get used to it. What they don't know is that it affects people around them. I grew up around that and I'm incredibly anxious as a result of that, because I don't feel comfortable around people, especially ones that remind me of my parents. It just makes me anticipate the discomfort in every conversation and I avoid talking to people because of that. I went to therapy and try to change that in me, but its like being around my parents makes it all counterproductive because they don't want to change. Its just so unnecessary, but it costs me a lot of my mental health to be subjected to that on a daily basis.
>>
>>27797152
Have you truly tried talking to your parents about how YOU feel?
I ask this because if they put on a front of a “happy go lucky marriage” you would be upset with them when you finally got out in the real world and discovered that not one relationship is perfect. Every relationship has its up’s and downs, and your parents had a commitment to each other before you.
>>
>>27797026
I want you to give me a taste of your spicy Italian sausage. Do you think I can handle it?
>>
>>27797225
there is no direct talking to my parents, my dad just gets impatient after the first word and if its not something he wants to hear he'll dismiss you and just tell you to stop wasting his time in one way or another. My mom, I told her that the interrupting is annoying and that she should let me speak and say what I need to say but no matter how many times I say it, she keeps doing it. I've brought these things up whenever they would come up so they would understand what it is exactly that they do, but it always ends up being dismissed, or they just act "nice" for a week and then just go back to old habits like its just gonna blow over. Ever since I started bringing these things up, there has not been any permanent change, just doing something to make someone happy for a couple of days and when they're not "upset" anymore, it all goes back to what it was, like there is no need to change anymore. They've an old school mentality, they think that what you are is something that can't be changed, its just what you are and you have to accept it and when you tell them it doesn't work like that then they tell you that for them it works, like they're special, theres no talking to that.
>>
>>27797317
If you wanted a taste of my spicy sausage you would be talking with me on discord and not here. I appreciate the attention because I'm not in a good moment but that's it.
>>
>>27797527
Send me a request, then. I'm hungry for it. I hope it can fill me up
>>
I feel like someone's been holding a grudge against me and I don't know why.
>>
>>27797728
>send me a request
>I'm still blocked
Very funny.
>>
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Tending to distance is a troublesome art. If I get too close you will feel ill with familiarity and if I hesitate too much for fear of falling into the former you will find me cold as if I were pushing you away. Is the pain worth it or have I merely speculated that it will be in the future?
>>
>>27798108
AhahahhHAhahahah
You actually went for it? Oh Jules, come on there buddy
>>
>>27798190
I knew from the start. What I find funny is you probably couldn't even find my tag if you ever wanted to unblock me.
>>
I can't tell what your actual opinion of me is. You know it's not safe to ask. Did you actually hate me at one point? Do you still hate me?

I wish I could actually talk to you. I'm just glad you said sorry. Thank you. It's not your fault.
>>
>>27798502
What is the initial of the person your post is for?
>>
B
>>
>>27798514
>>27798522
Here
>>
>>27798342
You are literally the only person I have EVER blocked.
>>
I don't expect B to actually be here. It's unlikely. If you are I'm sorry.
>>
>>27798550
Where do you expect him to B?
>>
>>27798564
Another board that used to have threads like this. We got pretty close to getting back together but things are different now. B asked me out again over the phone and got cold feet.
>>
>>27798528
I'm sorry, that's not me.

>>27798546
I didn't know that, Rota. What I do know is you deleted that account because of me, fucking hell did that hurt. I just didn't want to admit it back then.
>>
>>27798581
It's okay.
>>
>>27798581
>What I do know is you deleted that account because of me, fucking hell did that hurt. I just didn't want to admit it back then.
I can honestly say deleting that account had nothing to do with you. It dawned on me how inauthentic it was to have 4 accounts lol. Sure, two of them were purely for trolling, but to even have two real ones instead of just one didn't sit right with who I am.

It had nothing to do with you, so I'm sorry you felt hurt by that. I didn't know.
>>
>>27798650
>I can honestly say deleting that account had nothing to do with you
And yet it happened like 5 minutes after I posted on letter how I felt nothing when you asked me how I felt like after I rejected you or insulted you or something. Very convenient to say it's unrelated to me when the timing is just about perfect. Anyway, why are you giving me attention now? Seriously, what are you after?
>>
Also
>>27798650
>I'm sorry you felt hurt by that
If you're being sincere I accept your apologies.
>>
>>27797998
Been around any fences lately or creep on women?
>>
>>27798793
>And yet it happened like 5 minutes after I posted on letter how I felt nothing when you asked me how I felt like after I rejected you or insulted you or something. Very convenient to say it's unrelated to me when the timing is just about perfect.
Are you aware that when you delete an account, it can take a week or two before it actually deleted and shows up as deleted for other people? You can read that somewhere on the FAQ page if you want proof. When you delete, it goes into a period of one or two weeks where you can change your mind by logging back in. It doesn't actually delete until the period is over.
Any "timing" you saw between my account showing up as deleted and the post you made is purely coincidental. They would have been separated by days, not minutes. I don't even remember the post you made, either.

>Anyway, why are you giving me attention now? Seriously, what are you after?
Eh, I'm just getting my last bit of trolling in before I give up the ghost for good. It's like a rumschpringe of sorts. Just being silly with you and having fun for old times. Toying and trolling a little bit. Not trying to harm you, I'm just . . . saying goodbye to and old friend, so to speak. Not necessarily you, but not necessarily NOT you, either. But more like the representation of archetypal behavior sets that no longer serve

Things change for me tomorrow in a big way. Maybe. At least symbolically. After tomorrow, well, I can't and I won't do the things I've done that have led to harm. So I'm doing my last harm before taking the vows?!?! It doesn't make sense and is hypocritical probably. I'll admit it.
>>
>>27798907
I don't mean to sound rude, but whatever is it that you're doing, I don't want to be or take any part in it. I don't care what you do either.
>>
>>27798921
I understand
>>
>>27798961
You better do.
>>
i seriously cannot wait to move to iceland and jump off a cliff, literally counting down the days
my existence was a terrible mistake



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