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An almost 30yo friend of mine is dating a 14 year old. I tried telling him many times this is not ok and even staged a one-on-one intervention to no avail.

Thing is they really seem very happy together like really happy and hes gentle, sweet and all around good for her.

Made this thread yesterday many different opinions not sure yet to choose

Idk what to do?
>>
>>27778799
Mind your own business.
>Those who matter, don't mind. Those who don't, do.
>>
Speak with her parents if you actually think there is something wrong with this.
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>>27778799
>Thing is they really seem very happy together like really happy and hes gentle, sweet and all around good for her.
So maybe there's nothing wrong with it IN THEIR PARTICULAR CASE.

The thing about "age of consent" is that it tries to save most or all people (actually, girls, because lawmakers and the police don't give a shit about boys) from consenting to sexual relationships they don't have the proper mental capacity to.

So, if we reach the conclusion that around 50% of the relationships between an adult male and a "consenting" 14 yo female will be founded on abuse, we will pass a law making it a crime that ALL adult males have relationships with ALL 14 yo females. Because the loss of 50% of the 14 yo girls who now "can't date adult guys" is much milder than the gain of 50% of the 14 yo girls who would be abused otherwise.

That doesn't mean ALL unconventional relationships are bound to be disastrous or to revolve around abuse. It could very well be functional, even if this is the exception rather than the rule.
It seems to me that your friend's case is an exception. You can't know for sure because you're not really inside the relationship, but the things you mention are at the very least SIGNS of a well-balanced, healthy relationship.

I wouldn't interfere. I'd just have a friendly talk to him to remind him that, as the adult and much more experienced and mature person, he bears most of the responsibility within that relationship, which includes helping the girl making decisions that are best for herself even if those aren't the best for HIM. He has the duty to be extra selfless.
>>
That’s so fucking wrong. What the actual fuck
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>>27778799
i told you last time
>if 3rd worlder: you cant do shit
>if 1st world: cut all contact bc when he inevitably gets in trouble you do NOT want word to get out that you associated with a pedo
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>>27778799
do they have sex? if not, then there's really nothing, because that wouldn't technically be illegal.
>>
good thread to confess I guess

I have a heavy crush on a 16yo and no I'm not her teacher or anything
I'd just love to totally vanilla ask her out to a date with no sinister motives
if we actually were to become a couple I wouldn't even mind just holding hands for the next 1.5 years
but even asking her out would put me in societies crosshair eventhough 16 is the age of consent here
shit sucks and there is nothing I can do besides wallow in lovesickness
>>
bump
>>
>>27778828
fpbp
moralfags get off my website
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>>27778799
>Idk what to do?
Mind your own business before you get in trouble or hurt.
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>>27778799
Turn that nigga in to the police
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>>27778799
Submit his information anonymously to the FBI
Seriously, pedophiles are not okay. He's literally grooming her
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>>27778799
Not your problem.
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>>27778799
There is nothing morally or legally wrong with a 29 year old dating a 14 year old. You're making the assumption that they're having sex, which is just that: an assumption.
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>>27784051
It's innapropriate. Even if they aren't having sex, he should at least wait until she's done with high school, I mean seriously...
>>
lucky bastard
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>>27784074
>It's innapropriate
By what metric? It's the default in most of human civilisation as we sit here right now.
>>
btw, I will confess that at times I did talk to 14-15 yo girls, but the absolute guilt that i felt from those relationships made me stop talking to them.
which sucks because they're nice contrary to most women I ever talked to. should i feel guilty because of this or it's fine?
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>>27784115
I would say in modernized countries. I understand what you're saying and I agree with you, but I also personally think it's innapropriate. I wouldn't go after a girl until at least after high school...and most people would agree with me, which is what makes it innapropriate socially.
I can't draw a line in the sand and say it's morally wrong, just socially inappropriate and ill-advised.
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>>27778799
Mind your own goddamn business.
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>>27784171
It really boils down to >muh society sadly. Moralfags can rant all they want but what they mean is that seeing these sort of behaviour gives them the oogies and they want to use it to target others, hence why politicians and the elite use sexuality to blackmail each other, unironically corrupting the whole thing even more.
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>>27784171
>modernized countries
Sounds like western imperialist cope to me. In most modernised countries the age of consent is 14, are you saying OP should be having sex with 14 year olds?
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>>27778799
14 year olds are easily manipulable so the girl's opinion doesn't matter.
Hell even 18 year olds are so clueless but in that case their personalities almost finished developing so they don't get irreparable trauma.
Your friend is a sick man and a child molester.
A 29 yo doesn't have anything common with a 14 year old.
When you think about it, a 14 year old is sometimes not even a highschooler and their body is still underdeveloped so him being attracted to the girl is just sick.
>>27780205
How old are you?
>>27784124
>because they're nice contrary to most women I ever talked to
Why? That's not normal
>should i feel guilty because of this or it's fine?
Look it's not against the law messaging online with underage people. It's surely weird especially if you're significantly older than them.
But if you didn't do anything nasty, only doing casual convo with them then you shouldn't feel guilty about it but I advise you not try to befriend kids online.
>>27784051
It is still wrong. I'm not a moral fag if op said 19 and 14 I'd have said it's a stretch but fine whatever
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>>27778799
Legal in BTW. Get fucked
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>>27785962
Germany*
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>>27778799
He is a pedophile.
Literally just call the police.
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>>27778799
Get your fucking nose out of people's business.
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>>27778799
Report to the police immediately (anonimously if you want) and cut off all contact. You do not want a pedophile to be associated with you, regardless of the intentions that guy might have.

>>27778828
>>27784036
.>>27784051
>>27785979
Pedophiles.


>>27778868
Better safe than sorry, you can never tell for certain
>>
Sounds to me like the only thing that stopping them would do is ruin a "very happy" relationship

Not sure what you would get out of making your friend and someone else unhappy
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>>27786037
Hello resident roastie
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>>27786037
>Better safe than sorry, you can never tell for certain
>What do you mean "presumption of innocence"?
>>
>>27778799
Report the pedophile
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>>27785734
I'm 30
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>>27785962
>>27785966
Only if you're 18 and under. Over 17, then the AoC becomes 18.
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>>27786261
You're probably just lonely, which is why you're crushing on a 16 year old
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>>27786262
not true
google again or post your source that is wrong

>Sexuelle Handlungen mit Jugendlichen im Alter von 16 und 17Jahren werden nach §174 StGB bestraft, wenn dem Täter der Jugendliche zur Erziehung, zur Ausbildung oder zur Betreuung in der Lebensführung anvertraut oder im Rahmen eines Dienst- oder Arbeitsverhältnisses untergeordnet ist und das damit verbundene Abhängigkeitsverhältnis missbraucht wurde.

>Nach der am 30.Oktober 2008 vom Bundestag beschlossenen und am 5.November 2008 in Kraft getretenen[6] Neufassung von §182 StGB sind sexuelle Handlungen mit Personen unter 18Jahren darüber hinaus dann strafbar, wenn eine der folgenden Voraussetzungen vorliegt:

>Die sexuellen Handlungen finden unter Ausnutzung einer Zwangslage statt (Abs.1). Strafrechtlich verantwortlich ist hier jeder mindestens 14Jahre alte Täter.
>Die sexuellen Handlungen finden gegen Entgelt statt (Abs.2). Strafbar macht sich in diesem Fall nur ein mindestens 18Jahre alter Täter.

>Der Versuch ist nach §182 Abs.4 StGB strafbar.

basically means (for non germans) if you are not her teacher or have any other role to be her patron or whatever you want to call it or you do not offer money or make her depend on you (like offering any services or something I guess?) or you are taking advantage of her because she is in a shit situation that 16yo and anyone above 18 can have a (even sexual) relationship

the problem is proving your innocence, I suppose it gets complicated if she accuses you of any of those offences
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>>27786305
In English doc
>>
>>27780205
Do you think you got a shot with her? Like, does she send positive signals, looks, smiles etc?

If no, forget it, because the moment you ask her, she'll tell everyone you're a "creep" (creep being code for "man I find unattractive dared to hit on me"), and then you're toast.
If yes..... I think you should go for it. Just tell her the age gap could get both of you in social trouble so you should keep it on the down low and also take it easy, like progressing the relationship slowly so nobody gets hurt. If she has any drop of maturity in her she will go along.
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>>27786309
skip the greentext, there is the english translation
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>>27786315
we actually talk a lot IRL and online, I know her well for over a year now, I'm not crushing on a girl I do not know
I actually think she is very mature for her age but people will argue that point anyway
just going the next step is frightening
>>
>>27786347
Nah man, life is too short to regret not going for things that might make you happy.
I'm not telling you to OPENLY date her, obviously the people who find out won't approve unless they learn about the relationship when you're already years into it.

Ask her to hang out (don't make it an explicitly romantic date just yet) doing something she likes. If she says yes, that's a good sign.
Once hanging out, flirt a little, and see how she responds. Progress slowly, but surely.

I was 22 when I met my 16 yo, so it's a bit less problematic than your situation, but I have zero regrets.
Yes, people talked shit when they found out. But we had been a good time into the relationship already, so the "omg he's just preying on her" didn't have a full on effect. 12 years later, I'm married to her, and all the people who talked shit are mad jelly.

Just don't forget that, by being much older than her, you bear most of the responsibility not to break her heart or do messed up shit. Embrace it, and go for it.

One things is for sure, if you do nothing, you'll regret not trying!
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>>27784171
nta, but if you can't say it's morally wrong, then what's the problem exactly?
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>>27786318
Thanks doc
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>>27786272
I might be, I didn't have a serious relationship in years
but on the other side I am not sex starved, I met the occasional girl on tinder but it never really clicked
probably could have gotten away with it but I lose interest after the first dates when there are just no good mutual interests, even if their looks are my type
yes, I'm one of those idiots on tinder that are looking for relationships
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>>27786470
>Tinder
>Long term relationships
I would tell you to pick one and only one, but you already know that.
Just ask the 16 yo to hang out, bro.
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>>27786403
Thank you
I will have to think of a good game plan
guess casually hanging out first would be the better first step to see if there is more to her smiles
>>27786507
>>
Call the cops, tell her parents, or go over to his house and cram a double barrel down his fat pedo gullet and and fire off both barrels
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>>27778799
If he doesn’t marry her or intend to marry her then he’s a piece of shit

If you’re going to date a young teenage girl as a adult , you need make it a life long marriage or else it’s just using and abusing them

Dating and dumping sexually active 18 year olds who are grown up and used to it isn’t so bad.

But if you as an adult seduce a 15 year old you then you better intend to marry her and put babies in her soon and make her the love of your life and take care of her as a teenage housewife to your kids

That’s the only way underage age gap relationships aren’t abusive
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>>27787034
Not sure if I fully agree with this post, but it's based nonetheless.
Adult men dating teenage girls should only do so with the intent of having a long term relationship, and eventually marry her.
>>
>>27787167
Yes, but adult men shouldn't be dating anyone below like 16 regardless of their intentions. If you're dating a 15 year old with the intention of marrying, that's the definition of grooming.
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>>27786403
Your experience is a little bit different though.
Your 6 year age gap is not comparable to OP's 16 year age difference.
It's almost 3 times as big yours were.
And now you're 34 and seriously think it okay for a 30 year old man to date a 14 year old?
Would you date a 14 year old?
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>>27787193
>t.
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>>27787216
No dude, I was talking to >>27780205
30 yo VS 16 yo
That's more "problematic" than my situation, but still not the same as OP.
>>
Why do you think it is not ok? Are you worried he'll go to jail? Or are you worried about how this affects the girl? Because if it's the latter, you're a bad friend. Your loyalty should be towards your friend and not towards some random chick you don't even know personally.
>>
>>27778799
Report him to the police.
The fact that you haven't already done this (and you posted an anime catgirl like a faggot) makes you a pedophile by proxy.
The fact that you have allowed this bullshit and you are avoiding the obvious and only route to turn him in makes you equally responsible for what is happening to that kid.
You're going to hell with him.
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>>27786037
legal in europe
>>
>>27787034
>>27787167
big agree
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>>27778799
Ask him how he feels about having a colossal faggot as a friend
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>>27778799
I dated my 38yo teacher when I was 14. We never ended up having sex because I moved to another state when I was 17 and we were waiting to have sex until I was 18. There's nothing wrong with dating a minor so long as you're not having sex with them. I'm 27 now and I still keep in contact with her. We're good friends. She was divorced when we started dating but she remarried shortly after I moved away. She's still with him and I'm very happy for her.
>>
>>27788259
You're not "dating" if you're not having sex, dumbass
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>>27788302
>what is kissing
>what is fondling
>what is heavy petting
>>
>>27785734
preach anon, was gonna say everything you did before i read your post

op please for the love of christ report that shit, contact her parents and cut contact. that is NOT okay and it is pedo.
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>>27786037
>Pedophiles.
projection. The tards who scream "pedo" the loudest are usually the pedos.
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>>27778799
Not your business OP. Remember, "Snitches get stiches or wind up in ditches".
That 14 yr old might cap your ass later on if you involve the popo and they take her man.
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>>27788649
Using "projection" is projection
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>>27788671
SHUT UP! Don't you realize the fact of the matter? You guys sicken me always accusing people of things. How about you suck my dilly like ur mom did last night? huh? Shippidy dippity.
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>>27788671
Pointing out projection is projecting projection is even more projecting.
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>>27788702
Pointing out that pointing out projecting projection is even more projection is a form of SUPER projection.
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>>27788730
Pointing out Imax level projection of projection and projecting projection makes super duper world class pedo projection yo!
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>>27788302
>You're not "dating" if you're not having sex
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>>27778828
Fpbp
>>
>>27778799
>>27778952
>>27783058
>>27783377
>>27784074
>>27784074
>da jooz told me pedo = bad!! I must not question and criticize their slavery law and abide at all cost!!!
>>
Based
>>
If it's legal let it be. I'm tired of caring about this shit honestly.
>>
had a discussion about this in my friend group a couple weeks ago
one of us was apparently dating a 17yo for a couple months and came out with it after she turned 18
it was honestly just disgusting what they said about a year long friend just because of this

no one was ever hurt, they have a good relationship so far
and yet no one accepted it
I was the only one who argued "if they are happy why do you have to run your mouth like that about him?"

our society is a stupid hivemind and I hate it
>>
>>27791853
oh yeah the age gap is huge, he's double her age, I still don't care in the slightest desu
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>>27778799
1. Only new and current is good.
2. People in the past usually had big age gaps with the female being young, like 13-14
3. This is therefore bad
You’re welcome
>>
>>27791853
Honestly, I think a lot of times this hivemind behavior just boils down to jealousy.
>young men jealous of an attractive 17 yo spreading legs to an older dude rather than him
>old men jealous he's not the one banging the attractive 17 yo
>old women jealous the (probably attractive) older dude is in a relationship with 17 yo and not her
And in my experience this is the rarest:
>young women jealous it was another young woman who was picked by the attractive older man

t. >>27786403

(I do think OP's situation is problematic, but it should be carefully viewed according to the particular case rather than "muh XX year old CHILD you sick fuck" standard attitude)
>>
>>27791853
>>27791864
Agree on the hivemind part, not the big age gap.
Your friend is certainly not pedo but it's just fucking weird, you tell us he's 34 and is dating with a 17 year old.
Why?
That's so stupid and there is a 17 years of age diff. between them, he is so much older than her he could be her young father.
>>
>>27778799
Ask him to give up prime pussy for your ragged, used and abused, diseased-ridden p(b)ussy.
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>>27792520
>there is a 17 years of age diff. between them, he is so much older than her he could be her young father
you forgot to point out what you think is the problem here
everything you said is not an argument
>>
>>27792702
Well, first: the girl is still underage. Yes only a year but it's a slippery slope.
And the man in question is much much older than her so he may be grooming this girl.
What he's doing is not pedophilia but if you were this girl's fateher, would you let the dude near your daughter when he's close to your age?
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>>27778799
Well it's tough situation like love is a fucked up thing and he's facing a dangerous game for going (potentially) under the age of consent.

You're right to warn the guy if you're a true friend, ignoring it is like watching a slow suicide if it gets brought to light.
>>
Leave him alone, I hate this crabs in a bucket mentality that men have for each other. Let the man live his life. All men want to date women half their age- regardless if they admit to it or not

Why the fuck do you care if no one's getting hurt and you're just a random bystander? Leave him the fuck alone
>>
>>27778799
Not your business. If her parents know and are ok then get your nose out of his business.
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>>27792829
NTA but 17 ain't underage unless you're in a repressed state like California.
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>>27792829
IF I had a daughter
first thing would be to get to know the dude
let's be honest here, there are a lot of types of men I definitely do not want to date my daughter
age would be one of the lesser concerns
there are a lot of idiots, people with shit attitudes, character types I absolutely despise

but even then
How much do I want to impose on my daughter if she is visibly happy?
If you have been parenting her right the guy she is dating, regardles of age, will be a proper man that will do everything he can to make her happy.

You are probably just imagining any dude dating a sub 18yo girl is a retarded hobo hillbilly with no job and absolutely degenerate sex fetishes, threatening and abusing her
just stop
>>
>>27785734
I'm 24 and I'm easily manipulated.



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