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Previous:
>>26745430

Thread Theme:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3LDWN9gzpQ
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I'm sick of the anonymous death threats from unhinged anarchists.
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>>26753165
What about well wishes from a hinged anarchist?
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pride is so smiling at your abuser and adopting their mindset.
why am i so funny?
humble takes what they can get, which is gay and okay.
be happy!
doubleposting
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I'm so mad i need to be careful what i say. The things i'm typing and deleting might never heal
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>>26753273
I'll take it!
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>>26753159
I just made it through the basically irrelevant initial weed-out for a job I just applied for and FUCK I WANT THIS JOB
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>>26753159
I'm unhinged and sick of sending death threats to this one dude
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My brain has been toxcially infected by pua tips about never texting/messaging too quickly. I now autistically have to wait at least an hour to respond to someone I'm not romantically interested in and 6-12 hours for woman I am romantically interested in. I'm fucked it's over ngmi etc. etc.
>>
The people around you are usually harmless, it's the ghosts you have to be afraid of.
People might fuck you up every once in a while but ghosts haunt you, follow you everywhere, break you from the inside. They distort the world around you and isolate you.
I don't wish this curse upon my worst enemy.
>>
I want a japanese or south korean girlfriend.
>>
Advice can’t exist inside a vacuum. It actually serves a purpose. And it is only useful if followed. Not to mention, good. And relative to the specific situation. Furthermore, I would be remiss to have known a certain situation needed good advice, received it, but was not followed and then carried out into action. You see, the mind will do anything to convince itself that it is safe. But life doesn’t exist inside the mind. It’s in the body. And at that, the body as a whole. Including the world around it, if not, most especially. Now if only I could follow my own advice…
>>
why do i have impregnation fetish
why must i suffer
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I feel pretty stupid. I thought one's meant to smoke cigarillos with your lung and not just mouth.
I should quit altogether.
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>>26753555
I’m a fellow tobacco inhaler. Cigarettes. It’s a struggle. This video I found interesting: https://youtu.be/vFuGchkAmjU
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Im not going to tell you shit, man. Youre going to get attached again like the little bitch you are.
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>>26753659
Attachment takes courage not the other way around
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>>26753159
Ulcerative Colitis fucking sucks. I'm smart enough to move to any city in the US but tied to insurance until I'm 26. College is the best option rn.
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the last 2 years of fapping and video games as a result of online college have left me unprepared for final year
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>>26753723
many such cases
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I'm getting horny at work which I never do
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Sometimes I feel forced to think about your feces

Which resemble the feces, of a different species
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>>26753773
I will masturbate you.
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>guy points out the "women only want the top 20%" thing
>woman says "why don't more men just level up to the top 20% then?"

Hypothetically, if 50-60% of the bottom 80% did rise the top 20%, wouldn't that mean the current top 20% is average and there would be a new top 20%? I'm not good with math or numbers or whatever.
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>>26753668
Giga cope. Next youre going to say showing vulnerability to the first person you meet is an act of courage rather than desperation.
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Goddamnit I love this lil dork she's so cute and I vibe so well with her. But... She's taken. No way around it. It hurts anons
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>>26753906
That's a lot of theoretical math that doesn't exist. You should stop worrying about that.
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>>26753932
Taken to the streets
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>>26753944
But I want to be in a relationship and there's no guarantee i can reach top 20% status
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>>26753992
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM-e46xdcUo
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>>26753911
I don’t really think of things that way. It’d just give me a headache trying to. Hostility is easy to identify so I don’t sweat it.
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>>26753659
All you say are lies anyways
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Everything I am is a lie. Well, nearly so.

I'm mostly online and never leave the house that often. I'm on discord a lot and my entire persona is complete bullshit. Made up wholesale. My past, my name, even my gender. I pretend to be female to cope with gender dysphoria and the fact that I know chasing the "dream" of transitioning is going to be nothing but misery. But I can't not feel this way either, I've tried. So this is how I cope.

I have made up an entire past to deal with the fact that I was severely abused. I don't play it up to much, I'm not pretending like I've climbed a hundred mountains and wrestled lions, but I do act as though I've had a positively fulfilling life when in reality most of my existence has been covered by the abuse.

I lie about my name. My accomplishments. Why am I who I am, what I do. All of it. The truth is that I'm a lazy good for nothing who has been abused so harshly they can't be anything else. It's escapism to an ridiculous extreme. I can't be honest either because that would mean cutting myself off from friends I've known for nearly five years now. Online I can pretend I'm a normal human.

I think one day this will chip away at me so deeply it'll cause me to consider suicide. I'm an empty, broken human who has fallen so deep into their lies they don't even know who they are anymore.
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>>26753159
Saw a post that reminded me of you, and a part of me wished it were. Another part wished that the poster were for me. I dislike still having these wishes, hopes, and dreams. They linger. Why do I still long for you? What do you represent that I don't want to lose? What have I *made* you to represent, and why?

I feel like writing yet another final letter, of which there have been far too many. It dawns on me, too, how you would likely view those letters. I bet it's very similar to how I view the letters and posts written by a delusional person within whose mind I still reside rent free. He is totally obsessed, he can't let go of something that was never truly there. It existed only in his mind. He saw me only as an ideal image. Seeing him write to me months later is cringe, and I don't even reply or respond anymore. It's concerning and sad to see him still stuck like that.

But it dawns on me that that is likely how you view my own letters to you. There's a scene in "falling down" where Michael Douglas is taken aback by the realization that he's the bad guy. I'm the cringe loser now, the obsessed and creepy guy who can't forget the person who forgot him. The melancholic one still posting his letters.

I miss you beyond belief. But I also realize, similar to the one who misses "me", I miss only the dream and fantasy since I never knew the real you - at least not to a point sufficient enough to appropriately miss someone.

Text on a screen. We do it to ourselves.
>>
i am suffering and i need help. i need someone to talk to.
>>
The clock ticks down to the next day
Will she say no or go?
My heart is ready to move on.
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>>26754187
Anything specific you'd like to talk about?
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You guys overthink it. They’re distant, they’re online only, but they’re just people and at least I can consider them as important to me with the potential for me to be important to them too. In practice though it does seem like more people think like you rather than me, so continued use of the internet as a primary source for closeness probably won’t be viable.
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>>26754199
i am trapped in a hole and i don't know how to get out. how do i reach out to people? how do i speak and be around them?
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>>26754179
That's a lot, and it sounds really difficult. I don't really have an answer for you, but I think coming clean would maybe help? And you 100% are a normal human. Or, moreover, no one on this Earth is truly normal. Please don't beat yourself up so badly, especially over things that are not your fault.
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>>26754225
life alert
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>>26754225
I don't know that I can help with that because I'm pretty bad with it, too, but hey we're speaking right now, yeah? How do you feel about it at the moment?
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>>26753159
I failed at life. I can point at a few nice things but in general I feel disappointed in myself.
My past is forgettable and the future looks worse.
I'm too self-absorbed (as this post exemplifies) and have rock bottom self-esteem.
That is the worst combination possible.
>>
I just got back from vacation. My father drove me down to back to my grandparents house (I've been staying there so I can graduate high school, and I just did earlier this month, and now I have plans to move in with my father to make college and everything easier.) I enjoyed my vacation, but I don't feel close to anyone and it makes me feel distant from everybody. I get home, unpack my stuff, and figure out a day I can move with my father that's not bothering their schedule, and get ready for the first semester of college. I ate dinner and my grandfather asked when I was moving, and I told him "Beginning of July, mid July." He misheard me and exploded in anger because he thought I'd said "end of July." He's been pressuring me to move since I graduated, and I was sick of taking his shit. I told him I'm moving at the beginning of July and I'm going to make sure I pack thoroughly, and not shit up this shithole he calls "home." He kept exploding about how I'm lazy, yada yada and all that. I don't really care about the words he says anymore because they're hollow and have no meaning. He's just annoying and acts like a know-it-all. I'm not bothered by his words; my thoughts are enveloping me and reminding me why I feel no connection with anyone and why I am so shy and socially anxious. I've been ridiculed and bullied for every action of my life. Even little teasing makes me feel worthless and negative thoughts ruminate and blend. I've been trying to improve myself for the past year, and it's been a struggle (which is fine.) My problem is keeping motivation and ignoring what others think. I try to, but I'm so emotional it gets to me fast. I hate the fact my enemy is myself.
>>
>>26754253
it doesn't feel bad talking online like this. it's so hard outside and being around others.
i just want to be able to talk to people in person like other people can. how can they just act normal and make conversations with anyone like some kind of chameleon? i just freeze up and i never know what to say at all.
i feel like a broken human
>>
Another weekend off and no one to spend it with or do anything with
I guess I'll just die
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>>26754308
That's pretty normal I think, lots of people have that issue. I did! And still kind of do. It gets easier the more you do it, although the discomfort might never go away. Talking can be uncomfortable. That's just the reality of it. It gets easier the more you do it and learn that it won't kill you.
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>>26753159
I waited so long on that email from you. I didn't think it would come. But when it did, I became so excited again. I had already emotionally processed your rejection, so it not only a surprise but also felt like I was being given a second lease on life or something. Here I was, being given an actual, real chance for something with you. I got what I had wished so badly for...

Only I didn't get it. Err, I did...but I didn't. What I got was heartbreak and disappointment. Let down. But I needed it. I really did. I needed to get close and see the real you in order to kill the feelings. Otherwise they would have lingered and been kept on life support, being eternally fueled by hopes and dreams.

I didn't get what I wanted, but I got what I needed. And that's far better. Now I can move on.

Good luck to you.
>>
Essa jaguatirica quer que você tenha um bom dia.
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>>26753159
The world card really was appropriate. You weren't the world, but you gave me the world. In a way. I can feel a real change brewing lately. Old recedes, new approaches. Veils lift. Lies exposed. Delusional byproducts fade. Clarity in silence.
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I'm not figuring it out damn
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i feel like smashing my head against the wall 100 times. i'm not really gonna do it but god my heart hurts so much. it'd feel so good to do something but cutting is gross to me and purging doesn't do anything for me. i wish there was something i could do. i am hurting so much.

can an anon just tell me it's gonna be ok? i need to hear it. i'm having such a hard time
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>>26754471
It's going to be okay, well and truly. I'm sorry you're hurting right now.
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>>26754471
Anon, it's going to be okay. Everything is going to be alright. Hang in there. The pain will pass, just as all things do, in time.
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>>26754471
Things have been improving for me after a long drought, I hope they will for you too anon. Life is hard but it continues, many new lives will be brought to us today. Some of them will even be kittens.
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I have zero interest towards working. But I don't wanna be poor.
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>>26754380
>emotionally processed your rejection by being a whore

Gee, I already knew why am I not surprised
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>>26754471
Everything is going to be okay. Take some deep breaths and close your eyes for a moment and realize that you will be alright.
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>>26754526
Man, fuck off.
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>>26754483
>>26754493
>>26754499
thank you so much anons. things seemed like they were getting better but a ton of shitty things are all colliding at the same time. it's hard to keep it together. i was so proud of my improvement but now it feels like i am doing poorly again. i'm so ashamed. i don't want to pile all the shit on my friends. i feel so alone. i have people all around me and i still feel so alone.
>>
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I have a sex addiction and I'm afraid it's destroying my life. Sex is like a drug, and man am I hooked.

I have a few fwb and after meeting someone I was serious about, it made me reflect on this life I live. The more I do this, the less likely I am to get a good partner right? Nobody who's quality is going to want a guy like me. But I can't imagine breaking this. I just can't. Please help guys.
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I’m 19 and I just realized the only childhood I’ll ever get is gone, forever. I wasted it in my room, laying down, scrolling endlessly. I didn’t make a single real friend, not even an acquaintance. I didn’t develop a single hobby. I didn’t go to any clubs. I just barely slummed through highschool by cheating on tests and getting my IEP helpers at school to basically do all my assignments for me. I’m just too fucking lazy. I can’t stop daydreaming, I float through my life inside my head. I’m not smart. I can barely focus on anything for more than 30 seconds. Spending just about every waking moment of my life since I was seven years old on the internet has wrecked my mind and perception of myself beyond repair. I can barely string together a coherent sentence. I don’t believe I’ll ever be functional enough to have a partner, a family, a network of friends. I’ve been alone for too long. I know it sounds ridiculous to say considering I’m not even in my 20’s yet, but these are crucial developmental years that have irreversibly fucked me. I just want one friend. One person who truly cares about me. Deep down I believe I have the capacity to be special. I’m non-judgemental, I’m patient, I’m loyal, I love deep conversations over history or philosophy or politics or contemplating existence. I just want to see if this version of myself can even be accessed after all this isolation and wilting away.
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>>26754570
too long didn't read, but. .. you are 19.
Life doesn't end at 19. It starts.
>>
you're just not any fun

i need to regain my abundance mindset and quit wasting time on you
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>>26754536
Do you have any stress relieving techniques? I like anything related to nature like watching videos if I want to see stuff outside where I live. Maybe you don’t have to dump it all on your friends but they could be a support if you just want someone to know you’re having a hard time.
>>
you already do.
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>>26754570
Please don’t make the mistake I did prolonging a period like that more years out from 19. Your concerns sound valid but you’re beating yourself up far too much. Try to think about what you like and what makes you feel alive. If you don’t know go find it
>>
3 years ago I moved away from a slightly abusive friendship with a roommate who treated me like utter shit. He ignored me pretty often, called me stupid or idiot a couple times, he refused to give me rides when I needed them even though I gave him rides all the time, banged my mouse against the table whenever he made bad plays playing League on my PC. Worst of all though, he did this gesture a few times throughout the friendship where he placed his hand on my shoulder randomly, and I just thought it was a slightly patronizing expression of friendship at the time, I didn't realize how insulting that was at the time and I hate myself for not reacting with more anger and irritation.

So yea, I was a 29 year old guy who let another guy get away with pulling all of this shit, I was incredibly angry reflecting on all this shit he did once I got back home but also feel ashamed I was such a fucking doormat back then who didn't know how to stand up for myself. I did snap at home once when he called me an idiot and he reluctantly apologized, but that was the only time I stood up for myself hanging out with him.

Obviously I learned my lesson and am more assertive now, I just wish I cared more about my manhood and dignity back then and even growing up until then. Do I still need to beat myself up over this shitty friendship I put up with?
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>>26754609
i will probably just lay in bed and read until i hopefully fall asleep. i wish i could sleep 20 hours a day for a few months.
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>>26754658
Beat yourself up over it??? Why? Doesn't sound like your fault, man. Sounds like you put up with a lot of shit which is a strength in and of itself.
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I now unironically have herpes sores on my fucking testicles. I am going to kill myself for real. I fucking hate my whore ex so goddamned much you have NO IDEA
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>>26754684
>Beat yourself up over it??? Why?
Idk, I've just been reading a bunch of manosphere stuff both around the time I was rooming with him and after I returned to my hometown. I feel like the whole experience made me a bitch or a pussy and I'm just trying to shake it off my mind or repent for it by feeling ashamed. I've always had trouble being assertive in the past because I'd just get tongue tied or nervous but I can't believe I let it get that bad with another man at the age of 29
>>
I have a serious social/romantic glow-up in my 20s and went from khhv to having dated several women and hooked up with many more.

The conclusion I've come to is it was all more trouble than it was worth, the weebs were right you should just stay home and play fucking Persona and pretend you're banging 2D babes
>>
You could’ve asked nicely. Now I don’t feel bad for eating your dumb sandwich.
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>>26754729
Oh dude, assertiveness is good, but you don't have to be ashamed, of all things. You're focusing more on a perceived failure than the fact that this guy was kind of an ass to you. Has nothing to do with your strength or manliness or something like that.
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>>26754763
Thanks man, your words mean a lot
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>>26754347
thank you for the advice, anon. i'll try to do it even though it's painful
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>>26754744
Agreed anon, dating is pain for everyone involved
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>>26754535
I have to wonder why you have said such nice things about me in the past. The way you spoke highly of me seemed to be...undeserved. No no, I don't mean "undeserved" in a "I-have-feelings-of-low-self-worth" kind of way; I mean more of an objective metric. I am also not saying there ever could be objective metrics by which to measure people's worth or anything. Err, um, you know what I mean...

The way you spoke to me, at times, allowed me to imagine the deeper meaning behind it. Perhaps there wasn't any. Or perhaps there was, but only in small quantities and I added more to it. Not faulting you or anything. I am to blame for reading into things, and for seeing that which isn't there. But, well, you made me feel special. And I know that I'm not. Well, to be more accurate, it was only you by proxy - I made myself feel special by way of reading too far into your posts and unknowingly giving myself what I needed. I needed your approval, your validation, and your love.

Oh, not THAT anon btw. But I'm sure you already know that...
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>>26754744
You're now realizing there's two kinds of waifufags: the copium virgins who are running on sour grapes, and the epiphany chads who actually have experienced a woman and decided it's not worth the effort.
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>>26754818
*Unawaringly, but that isn't a word even though it should be
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>>26754818
I seriously have no clue who you might be, but that sounds like a very serious confession, and I'm sorry for what troubles you might be going through.
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>>26754835
Oh shit I guess "unwittingly" is a good word. The vocab expands. Learn something erry day....
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>>26754843
No worries, anon, I have no troubles not of my own making and no troubles which I'm not capable of dealing with. But thank you.
>>
I'm spending a ton of money to go to this wedding with my girlfriend in a last ditch attempt to see if I really love her. We've been together for two years, and I can't tell if I'm going to regret going or regret not appreciating her more. I feel stressed about the whole thing.
>>
You threw me to the side.
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>>26754953
Well, yeah...
You were always just a side girl
>>
schizo general
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>>26754974
Honk honk
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tfw you weren't even good enough to be a side guy for her
>>
islam is so fucking stupid. every muslim country is a shithole, all of them, even the ones the US did not bomb. but god is punishing muslims for being disgusting woman-raping violent cousin-fucking animals with inbreeding. soon they will all degenerate into DNA soup and vanish.
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>>26755002
You believe in eugenics?
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How do I respond?
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>>26754996
It’s ok anon.
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>>26755002
Arab DNA is partly sub saharan and that's the future of the western world. You're probably looking at mulattos every day.
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Not sure if they are even talking about me or the other bookworm femanon anymore.
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>>26755009
Uh, how about you don't? Take a pass.

>>26755010
Maybe
Thanks anon :)
>>
>>26755008
that's like asking do i believe in natural selection, or math.
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I'm not drunk, dumbass. I've had two beers, just you have the bad habit of annoying the living shit out of someone. Then when I get pissed, you're acting like you're the victim. I'm just tired of having someone on my back all the fucking time.
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>>26755051
What do you mean maybe and where do I watch spy x family
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>>26755054
Can you specify to me which chromosomes make Muslims (which is the largest religion in the world, not a race) violent rapists and zoophiles?
And what qualities of DNA are valuable or create a "valuable person?"
>>
>>26755075
Maybe so. Maybe not. We don't know what will be the consequences of things until after. How often do things actually go as we think?

And you can watch that anime together with me since I've never seen it and would enjoy your company
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>>26755074
>He's just acting crazy
Maybe just let me get something to eat and you not harass me? That's why I almost dropped my plate of food because I got so anxious and and I wanted to get out of there before you got on your tangent about what there is to eat. You do it every time, and remember that time I tried to get some pizza and you started that shit again? I dropped the fucking box on the ground because I was just trying so hard to get something and get out of there before you noticed me? Then dad was like "what the fuck? Leave him alone", "WELL HE'S JUST ACTING LIKE HE'S FUCKED UP,AND HE DROPPED THE PIZZA". Yeah, I did, because you wouldn't shut your fucking mouth, and again, still, after all these years you still haven't left me the fuck alone. I just wanted to heat up my Amy's Organic vegan rice, bean, and cheese burrito and sit in my room. I didn't want to get hassled because I was in there.

Holy fuck this is fucking retarded.
>>
>>26755096
So I got the enchilada's as I'm still being annoyed and walked off, god fucking damnit. I didn't even want them and now I have to eat them because I don't want to go back out there and hear more bullshit. I hate my life so fucking much.
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>>26755103
>
I swear, if I die soon, hopefully, when I get to the afterlife I'm fucking kicking "god" in his/her/it's fucking mouth.
>>
Shoutouts to my babe
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>>26755078
i'm sure you think you sounded really smart there
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>>26755175
No, that's pretty baseline. Do you have an answer?
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I’m about to actually have a psychotic break. Like actually. I hate everything about myself and I stopped taking my meds just to feel something. Now I feel everything and I don’t want to go back I just want to die.
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>>26755202
Please be safe, take your meds if you need to.
>>
Yeah, I'm always bored. Why do you think I'm listening to the same 3 songs from the Silent Hill 4 : The Room soundtrack and looking into the lore that I've known and read about more than once. It's boredom, but it's trying to deal with the brutal anxiety and depression and trying to focus on anything else. Even if it's about a dead psychological horror franchise.
>The sweet sugar saves me, it's the room that confines me
Is that line and the song about doing coke alone? I mean, it's not far fetched that some 23 year old stripper was powdering her nose.
>>
>>26755237
You keep me entertained with insights like these
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>>26755182
did you read my original post?
now i realize, when we call muslims "room temperature IQ", they think it's a compliment because their room temperature is 105 F.
>>
>>26755245
It might have something to do with the story line, but damn, it's been a good while since I've played SH 1-4. Years, and Kojima shouldn't have stopped with P. T,/Silent Hills but the game was cancelled and Norman Reedus said that it was a good thing it was for some reason. It was legit fucking scary, and there was no reason it needed to be cancelled. I've always wanted to see Kojima make a legit horror game and P.T. showed us what he's capable of. Apparently there's that Overdose game he's doing but he's keeping that shit tight under wraps.
>>
I have multiple daily habits keeping my dopamine receptors permanently fried.

I need a dopamine detox. No more 4chan, no more F5ing the same stupid websites, no more queueing up match after match after match of these online games that only piss me off.

I have 50 pounds to lose, a guitar that's been gathering dust for 3 years, a shitton of interesting single-player games to experience.
>>
>>26755261
I did, and it didn't have an answer! Tell me more about the chromosomes. Which chromosomes? What studies?
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>>26755278
>The "white sugar" may be White Claudia or its form PTV which has hallucinogenic properties.
Yeah, I need to replay the game instead of talking out of my ass. I forgot about that.
>>
>>26755314
It’s possible it’s coke and they renamed it
>>
Still never going to give you up
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>>26755328
>White Claudia is a plant indigenous to the region where Silent Hill is located. The Order uses it for its mystical and hallucinogenic properties and to create the drug PTV and possibly for the oil White Chrism. A sentence in Play Novel: Silent Hill implies that White Claudia is also used to produce Aglaophotis.
>The white flowers may be a reference to Morning Glory, a family of flowering plants with hallucinogenic seeds common in Asia and North America. Like White Claudia, Morning Glory is often found near water. The hallucinogenic seeds were used in Native American religious ceremonies.
You'd think it was coke, because I thought the same thing but had forgot in time. Then in its recreational form in SH is called " PTV". I need a refresher on the series and need to play them again, but the fandom wiki does just fine for shit I've forgot.
>>
>>26753159
I'm tired, I don't want to work hard anymore! I want to get one of those heavy realistic fuck dolls and sink my face on it's ass on my lonely apartment where I get interrupted by one and I'm hot and witty and I get a lot of fruit and juice on the fridge
>>
I’m not super over it
I would’ve met you… the way you blocked me off was so cold
>>
Wait wait wait
You thought that call would actually happen?
Ahahahahahha

You ACTUALLY believed she would ever want to be friends? With YOU? Ahahahahah, mega kek

How dumb can you possibly be not to be able to see that? A sucker for false hope. You're not wanted. Get the fucking message yet?
>>
How do I have to explain it to you you're the person I hate the most in the whole planet and I don't want you back? I am not sorry. Fuck off whore.
>>
I never blocked you
>>
It happens in either of two ways, maybe both.
1. That it's all in your head and you delude yourself into thinking they could ever actually like you
2. They actually did up until they got to see the real you ie. the monster lurking beneath the mask, and then they ran for the fucking hills soon after
This is how it always goes, and forever will. You are absolutely pathetic. Just give up already and accept how much of an unlovable shitter you really truly genuinely are and will always be
>>
I'm also amused by the fact you're running out of money. Does it feel good to have gambled everything on crypto? lol. lmao.
>>
I'm a monster only with people like (((her))). She became an absolutely shit person and abused me until not only I got enough, but I actively started to hate (((her))).
>>
Apparently I had a few more buckets hidden away in the attic or basement. Interesting. Just keep pouring them out when they are found. You're doing well, and you're going to be well. You can do this. You already are...
>>
>>26755495
KEK anon
Wasn't for you
It never is
>>
And to K: you don't know me in real life, mate. Your judgement of me is nowhere near accurate.
>>
>>26755505
Okay @aprikosin3, it's always "totally just a coincidence", whore.
>>
>>26755520
I don't know who that is, but my post was written to myself, anon.
>>
Even as we speak I am playing with my penis.
>>
After so much praying, to see if God would change my situation, nothing. In fact, I've been backsliding to my old ways. I'm grateful for a lot, so much. But the one thing I want God to do for me, he will not do it seems.

They don't change. People really don't change much, they just show you who they truly are with time.

I've lost.. the desire to live with meaning.
>>
>find Orthodoxy
>fast 1/3 of the year
Okay
>believe in and love God with all your heart
Okay
>pray ceaselessly
Okay
>you’ll be wifeless and chaste in Heaven
Uhhhhh weird but okay…
>most people go to hell
Shit…
>all your friends, family, and people you love are going to hell, because they’re not explicitly Orthodox
Fuck off.

Jesus Christ is the Son of God. Whatever the fuck formed around Him afterwards is a cult that went mainstream and has some good doctrines.
>>
I hate my job so much. It’s the most soul crushing industry and people imaginable and I’m already delicate as fuck despite my appearances. It wouldn’t be so bad if I had more than one intelligent coworker. The other 100 are the dumbest people I have ever met in my life and they are all out for each other’s throats to see who can do the least amount of work. It makes me want to kill myself. I’m so scared to leave because I have no skills and I make good money but they are so fucking stupid and evil.
>>
>>26755627
If they confess with their mouth that Jesus is Lord, even they can be saved, if they ask for salvation.

The word repent simply means to turn. Everyone struggles with something. I struggle with porn, patience, wrath sometimes. I can sit here and make excuses or give a long baw story, but it wont change much. I just pray God has mercy.

Matthew 7:21-23

King James Version

21Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.

22Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?

23And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
>>
Can't take a self too serious
>>
R doesn't love you, he just doesn't want to lose you. There's a difference. One I pray you don't learn ten years removed from now, when both youth and opportunity decline.
>>
>>26754512
this is why smart people start their own businesses and refuse to have a boss that isn't them.
>>
She absolutely ghosted me. I find one of the hottest women on dating apps that I’ve matched with finally got her number and she ghosted me. I know it says more about her than it does me, but it’s frustrating. I didn’t even think I’d find her but here she was. Her bio literally had the same shit I was looking for. Then she updated her prompts so it’s especially obvious she ghosted me. I wanna have sex. I want to see what it’s like. Why can all these fat women be able to get hookups and romance at their base value but men can’t? Why do men have to self improve and jump through hoops to get it. The most common way for men to get women was through money and status and now women are taking that. They get money status and sex while men are getting nothing and are just told to deal with it. No wonder incels are on the rise.
>>
I knew a guy named Justin that did pretty much the same thing. Some people are pretty stupid.
>>
>>26755485
i barely used anything on crypto wym?
am saving for a home, dimwit
>>
>>26753159
Why can't trannies accept the fact that others just don't accept them? You want to believe you're a woman but I believe you're a man... so just agree to disagree right? Their whole schtick revolves around accepting one another but as soon as someone thinks differently they get shunned from society.
>>
it's over
>>
I feel like my true self died around 8-10 years ago. Somewhere everything just went really wrong and it's not the same life anymore
>>
>>26755703
Join the club
*pulls out a chair*

Dating apps, them things are just dopamine traps for women, and men are hunters, and will follow the scent. Remember, Eve was beguiled, she then offered the fruit to Adam. Social media is the same. If there is one thing I would like Jesus to completely obliterate, it's dating apps and social media -and the porn industry.
>>
>>26755738
I still love you though
>>
>>26753403
Did you read The Game? I liked how the ending was basically "being yourself > using pua tricks"

>>26754225
Let's start things off with... WHY do you want to reach out to people?
>>
Sometimes i look out the window and think of my friends, but the hard part is talking to them, how to do it well. Sometimes i feel alone. How can i bear this?
>>
>>26755730
The dissenting opinion keeps policies in place that actively harm them, prevent them from living.
>>
CAN THE CUTE CHUBBY DEMON SLAYER COSPLAYER TEXT ME BACK
>>
Well, two beers a night isn't bad. I just have to do something with this boredom. Maybe going to bed earlier? It's not like I'm really missing anything and I waste time posting stupid shit.
>>
>>26755811
Were you the guy venting earlier? Don't know what to say or what's up, but you're seen.
>>
I'm sorry you had a crush on me.
>>
>>26755811
I've tired to go to bed at a decent time, but I've had shit luck. I'll always sleep about 3-4 hours and be wide fucking awake. I've tried zquil, and a couple of over the counter sleep meds with no luck. Ambien just made my shitposting reach new levels I don't think was humanely possible.
>>
I’d like to see you before this is all over
>>
>>26755820
I bet my crush isn't sorry. She even smiled with a little devious facial expression. Meh.. later saw her with a bf at a sushi place. Fucking bite my heart and spit in my face, why not.
>>
My online friends are faggots and irl ones are few and far away. My family is constantly riddled with strife and I don’t feel like dealing with it. I wish I had an intimate relationship in my life, someone to confide in, but it seems like people always disappoint. I feel like internally I’ve given up on love and things like that, and I’m ready to hit a massage parlor or a whore house
>>
>> 26752564
Actually C (i if we get personal)
>>
My whole family is fat and had been fat. How can I have any hope of becoming le skinny or even attractive chubby in my desperate state?
I’m an undesirable and I think everyone who tells me that I look good or that I’m well dressed is lying to me. I have no hope.
>>
Awwoooooooooo
>>
>>26755926
Jogging, fasting, gastric sleeve, running, long walks, swimming, herbal remedies that promote weight loss.. So much you can try.
>>
TEXT MEEEEE
>>
How do I tell you that youre becoming more delusional and more of an asshole? When I try to have conversations about things we both like I feel like the aura of sperg just comes off of you in waves. Without you I don't really have a best friend but honestly with how you've been acting recently I dont think I'd want you to be that. I sort of see what your ex means now. I hope when you start therapy and your new job you'll become less...whatever this is.
>>
>>26755827
>Ambien just made my shitposting reach new levels I don't think was humanely possible.
Haha, my Doxylamine did the same to me.
>>
I'm so fucking whack, why do I post stupid shit on facebook instead of here? Or at least just make an account where I can be an idiot and it not be traced back to me.I'm 32, this shit is embaressing, and most of the time, it's just random things that pop up in my head. Social media is stupid as it is unless you have reasons to use it. For years it's just been stupid shit and whining.
>>
I’m about to enter a major university after taking several free years of community college. I used my free years of community college to build my level of mathematics up, earned general education credits, and tried to explore careers, but COVID 19 limited what I could take and the stuff that was available wasn’t that good

I’m entering as to get a degree in engineer but truth be told, I have no experience besides CAD classes and a simple beginners engineering course that just taught us the ethics and very basics.

How can I know if engineering is right for me? Ive never built something outside of school, my arduino has only been used for basic LED blinking stuff, and I am much more fond of 3D modeling things. I would pursue a career in modeling if I wasn’t mediocre in a field filled with 13 year olds producing better animations than me

I’m trying to self reflect and really find out if engineering is right for me. If it’s not, would one semester tell me that? Would I know for certain that I’m not cut out for engineering?

I’ve always wanted to study marine biology but I’ve always seen it as a hard field to find mediocre paying work in, and I mentioned CompSci because I like 3D modeling and the aspect of an office job, and I took two programming courses. It’s just that my modeling isn’t that great and I can’t seem to find any use for the coding outside of a compiler programming. I want to travel too, see the world and all that
>>
My spirit longs to be rekindled by you my love
>>
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You know, if when you ask someone to articulate what it is they love about their significant other, and they can't actually state anything at all (let alone meaningful), maybe that should be a huge red flag?

what am i saying, ofc not ahaha, totally normal heh...
>>
>>26756070
Sometimes it's intentional for my own amusement, but it's like that has my fucking name attached to it. Let's take it a bit more seriously, but not too much. No one talks to me on it either. :/
>>
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>>26755427
I know you would have met me. I was more afraid of what would happen if we had met. I thought and still think that a long distance relationship would not work given the circumstances. Initially I thought your concerns about what your father would think of me were dumb but on deeper reflection I realized he wants what's best for you and he knows you much better than I do.

I blocked you the way you asked me to block you like 50 times. I ripped off the bandaid and it hurt and it still hurts. I still think it's for the best, and I hope one day you realize it too. My account will be deleted on Sunday when discord's stupid 14 day policy finally deletes it.
>>
i don't feel the way i do for you towards anyone else

just want you to know that so badly
>>
>>26756149
Then tell them
>>
Then why have you been doing every opposite thing to make that even possible
>>
>>26756156
that's a bit overwhelming for me due to our previous interactions but yea, i just told them, kek
>>
>>26756164
Glad you got it off your chest
>>
I want full transparency and honesty or nothing.
>>
>>26756000
What kind of herbal remedies? So far I’ve tried combinations of exercise and supplements and they’ve been somewhat helpful, though the benefits have been temporary.
>>
>>26755978
>>26756003
AROOOOO I MISS YOU BABE
>>
>>26754512
Are you more affraid of being poor then of the prospect of working?
>>
>>26756182
look elsewhere lolz
>>
>>26756194
It’s true. I do.
>>
that’s kinda fucked up
>>
TEXT ME BACK
>>
>>26756297
Did u text me?
>>
What do I wear and how the fuck do you talk to people at a bar? My friends are taking me out this weekend and I'm freaking out because the last time I was bar hopping I ended up sitting in a corner drinking alone like a jackass. What can I do at a bar to make me not want to just drink at home?
>>
Yeahhh I’m never gonna trust you
>>
>>26756337
then why even pretend to be friends?
>>
Another night where I have my eyes shut for like 3 hours and still can’t sleep. I’m tired(lol) of this crap! Just want to sleep to much ask!?
>>
I've been living with parents for a few years again. Ive saved a lot of money, but I feel like a leech and miss the privacy. I want to move out but I'm too afraid of a big recession fucking me over.
>>
I LOVE YOU AND I WISH YOU COULD BE MINE
>>
You're a fucking idiot for throwing our relationship away over something that literally isn't true, but I'm enjoying watching you have a meltdown about it now that you've realized you've made a horrible mistake. Fucking bitch.
>>
>>26756147
This makes me extremely sad
I still think about you.. have a nice life
>>
My suspicions are probably right because you can’t even try to be honest to me.
>>
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tfw the feel so sorrowful and melancholic that it becomes good in some inexplicable way

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwia7N1kTv4
>>
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Boomers are so fucking full of it
>talking to my dad's friend
>think of anything to say
>bring up this interesting theory of human history I've been reading about
>doesn't try to get it
>starts saying how people thought germs were bad juju (this had nothing to do with the subject)
>we don't know anything except humanity is le bad and we're killing the planet
>Thinks a fucking fruit fly has consciousness
>talks to me at the end like he's sorry for putting a lot of heavy shit on my mind when he just annoyed me
God
>>
I look back on old photos. Look back on old videos. I see the people I've lost, the new friends, the times we've had, the love we shared. I've seen it all, I gave you 5 years of my life and you still don't trust me, still don't give me any benefit of the doubt. You engage in intimate relationships with others and blame me, for My lack of intimacy? I work overtime, 3× more than you do. You put in 20hrs a week and I'll pay for half your shit. You have hundreds of thousands of dollars from inheritance that you still lie about today and tell me I'm crazy and need to work harder. You let me fall in love with you and told me if you listen and change to be what you want that you would love me more. The only thing that changed is you lost respect. Respect for me, the relationship, and my family and career and how much I provide. I love you and when I see our young innocent selves it hurts my heart to see us bitter and outgrowing eachother. I know we lost a year to covid but I wanted to be there with you, everyday, even when you didn't wanna see me. I know we're at a fork, either get hitched and suffer or go our separate ways and accept we wasted 5 years with eachother. That hurts so much, I love you and want those good times again, I miss being happy with you.
>>
I have basically zero interest in having sex with my gf anymore. Fucking waste of time
>>
Can’t sleep
>>
>>26756439
Don’t sleep
>>
>>26756440
Won't sleep
>>
>>26756440
Fine I wasn’t going to
>>
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These people aren't your friends. This you know. As S once said, it's a qualitative feel. And how lonely, neglected, and empty do you feel in their company? What of the ones you couldn't even make an honest claim of ever experiencing their company? What is the quality of the feel when there is nothing from which to form a feel?

You know what is true. It's time to end the avoidance and self-deceptions. Be strong. Be the person S once inspired you to become.
>>
And a faint voice, seldom heard, grew fainter and went unnoticeably silent.

From silence, return.
>>
Fucked up again. She'll talk with other people but not with me. Why do I keep fucking up? Does she hate me now?
>>
>>26756297
u smell
>>
They’ll always be afraid of intimacy except they will always feel the shame that prevents them from ever feeling right, so I can’t say it has anything to do with me. In fact I know it doesn’t. Just a fucked up person.
>>
No, I'm not pissed off at you or anyone else. I'm mad because I could have moved out years ago if I didn't fuck around in uni. If I wasn't such an irritating piece of shit I might have had a small group of friends I could have shared an apartment with and actually do shit with my life. I could have worked at an actual job and save up for my own damn car at the very least. My life sucks that I have to spend another year with you guys when I could be living life with a place of my own and meeting new people. I COULD HAVE GRADUATED LAST SPRING AND LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND ME BUT NOOOOOOO, LET ME WASTE MORE MONEY FOR ANOTHER STUPID FUCKING YEAR AS A SUPERSENIOR. BECAUSE IM SUCH A FUCKING PUSSY I COULDNT STICK TO THE PLAN AND LEAVE ON TIME WITH AN ENGINEERING DEGREE. YES ITS A BACHELORS OF BUSINESS BUT IM STILL WORKING WITH ENGINEERS AND GOD DAMMIT IM CLOSE ENOUGH TO GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

I'm an absolute fucking failure compared to my peers, everyone knows it and I'm sick of you guys just pretending that's not the case. I can see right through your bullshit and you're not helping in anyway shape or form, still living with my parents at 22 is a very clear sign that I'm failing at life so just leave me alone and let me figure it out in peace. As soon as I land any entry level job and get the funds im already gone.
>>
This girl is honestly perfect, and I'm terrified I'm going to somehow fuck everything up. I really hope I don't fuck things up.
>>
>>26756218
Do you really miss me too? Even after all the mistakes I’ve made?
>>
No.
>>
>>26754380
Initials??
>>
>>26755978
>>26756003
>>26756083
>>26756149
>>26756297
My heart is sick with longing hoping that its you my love.
>>
>>26756496
Who is she talking to anon
>>
No to what? You’re breaking ya motha’s heart anon.
>>
What do you do when you realized you’ve just been building mask over mask over mask until you don’t even know which is your real personality anymore. I’ve tried so hard to become what I needed to try and gain friends and keep them but I will never get over the constant voice in my head that tells me they wouldn’t like the real me. What even is the real me? I don’t think I can risk trying to find out, for I may find something dead and festering under all those layers.
>>
I slept better after getting rid of bed that was covered by mom's cursed dna after it was stored for months in my parent's storage. It was cringe to get rid of it since it was bought new by my parents but worth it since I don't hear constant mocking voices so much and feel so epileptic
>>
Theres a guy who is friends with a bunch of my friends
I really hate him
I just found out that he is runing his whole life and is in a shitty situation because of his own actions despite being warned about it
meanwhile im in one of the best parts of my life right now
in a weird way I feel guilty
I still think hes an asshole but I think he had it coming to him
>>
Anal porn ruined my life but I couldn't stay away from it because my mom's sexual trauma made it so hard to think about vaginal sex. Her energy field is cursed. Her subconscious hates men who want vaginal sex. I don't know if I can make it with this cursed background.
>>
now you feel stupid and its deserved
>>
I want to fuck it’s all I can think about and this could be it aaaaaaaaa
>>
>>26756580
More than you could ever know. I can’t sleep tonight, too many thoughts of you
>>
Yesterday my psychologist asked me my 5 best and worse memories from my childhood home. I was unable to answer. This fucking destroys me right now, I realize I hate this fucking place so much. My childhood was plain boring and lonely. Holy shit.

I'm there right now. There isn't a single moment of silence. My family is always talking, saying empty phrases, sighing, repeating things multiple times, talking to the dog, commenting on the fucking weather, etc. They can't be silent and contemplate. It's probably impossible for them but this is tiring me so much.
I feel like shit being like that to them but they don't realize they isolated themselves so much from everything they are almost unable to behave normally.

I want to go home even if my home is now split between me and my ex. I'm so tired of this life.
>>
The last time I saw her she was smiling, but she looked dead inside. It means the Nagatoro method worked.
>>
>>26755738
I'm glad it is, I wish I never got to know you.
>>
>>26756613
Mutual friends. In the same space. Just not to me. Our relationship is closer but I feel frozen out.
>>
I want to have a life, I just don't know what to do.
>>
Once you leave again im going to be a wreck i dont know what im going to do i feel like shit every day i know you’re just putting up with me because i slipped and said i had no one else to talk to but it was embarrassingly obvious before that I like to think that there is some mutual interest in our conversations but 99% of the time i know you’re just engaging and im not mad im just embarrassed for myself because thats the closest i get to friendship even though i feel like i have been open with everyone from the start and now im crying like a baby at 3am i might just shower and stay up for 40 hours again just to torture myself
>>
>>26756385
what's stopping you?
>>
>>26756625
How do you keep it on without having eggs on your face or trying too hard? I'm looking to make a new identity and discard my old one when I eventually move out.
>>
My life has circled right back around to being what I thought I was past ten years ago.

I managed to get into a position to run massive social media groups. I had tons of friends, and I would DM them every day. Then I met a woman who manipulated me and made everything shit. We got into a LDR, but she never reciprocated. But it drove away everyone and caused tons of drama.

A few weeks ago she broke up with me just because I asked why she didn't talk to me much anymore. She came up with an insulting excuse that "it was her not me." It was endemic of how she would not even try in the relationship and just lied constantly at the beginning about meeting up.

I had to boot her from one of my groups because of drama and that was the beginning of the end. I then spent months in a limbo of her outright neglecting me and her friends starting to shit on me eventually. When we broke up I felt so freed, then she comes to me a fucking day later asking about how I can help her deal with drama. Obviously. I said fuck off.

Now I'm in a shit position of running these groups, but barely anyone DMs me, I've put in all this effort to effectively make it worthless. I was in the same headspace years ago and I thought I'd gotten past this, but here we are. I was considering making an alt account or just giving up a lot of my shit as it was done to help this woman anyway and now I just spend a lot of my time obsessing over how it all went to shit.
>>
>>26756773
The collateral damage was acceptable. Hurting her mattered more than anything else. Also imagine giving a shit about someone I never met in real life and that was leading me on all along. When she said to someone else "you're just a practice boyfriend, enjoy the trauma" she really meant it. So I shrug.
And whenever she makes a suicide threat on /r9k/ I tell her "you won't do shit faggot".
>>
I no longer give a fuck, that's all.
>>
Today I can't even be arsed with properly getting angry. Today is a shit day.
>>
>>26754596
I don't give a fuck, have a nice summer
>>
>>26756410
>>we don't know anything except humanity is le bad and we're killing the planet
Yeah my dad is the same. Everything becomes
>le humans are bad!
Yes dad I get it you hate people. Besides that also everything revolves around getting hysterically angry over politics and saying you want everyone to die. Jesus Christ get a grip.
>>
>>26755349
I don't give a fuck
>>
>>26755484
>Just give up already and accept how much of an unlovable shitter you really truly genuinely are and will always be

I did.
>>
>>26755427
>I would’ve met you
Nah. I'm convinced you were leading me all along and I did the right thing in bullying the fuck out of you. Fuck you for having made me hate Germany. I'll make you pay for that. And I do not accept money as payment.
>>
>>26756963
Mister X, old friend, you're kind of annoying me. Just so you know.
>>
god you’re such a whore
You’re entering the history book like the last girl I dated except this one im actually grateful for happening unlike the last.
>>
>>26756972
I know
>>
>if I dye my hair he won’t notice that was me
>>
>>26756988
It's funny how you're the only one that's standing out to me right now.
I hope you're alright. I am.
>>
Ik right with everyone you’ve done I’d have said you have multiple personality disorder but your narcissistic personality disorder overrides and your massive ego controls and determines how you act.
>>
The Goebbels thing of accusing others of the shit you are is extremely annoying, I'll give you that.
No, I just happen to be cruel with the "right person". When you see her, if you do happen to see her, ask her if she enjoys being the target of "muh revenge".
>>
>>26753159
I stopped talking to an online friend on the 25th of September last year, we were best friends, we spent every day talking to each other, laughing until our sides hurt, playing games with each other, talking about deeply personal stuff with each other, we cried on a call with each other; we would stay up late talking, we would do everything that best friends do with each other, I even had plans to fly to his state and stay with him for a couple of weeks once, but unfortunately that fell through. He was the only person with that I could truly be myself and he had the exact same type of humour as me, we were basically clones of one another, this went on for a couple of years. We had a couple of periods over the years where we stopped talking to each other for a couple of months and then we'd pick up where we left off and it would be like we never stopped talking, it was great, everything worked out great, and then it went downhill.

Now I'm not the type of person to tell someone where to focus their priorities, I think it's wrong, but as I soon found out, he clearly had his priorities in the wrong places. I would message him on discord and ask if he wanted to play games, he would say something like "I'm busy right now/today, how about tomorrow?" I would write back "Too easy, no pressure, take your time, I'll message you tomorrow" and I would get excited, I would look forward to the next day because when it comes, I know that I'll be able to play games with my best friend, the only guy that gets me, and then 5 minutes into our discord call he would ditch me for some guys he met on a game 2 days ago, some guys that he barely knew, he would ditch his best friend of multiple years for guys that he barely knew even though he said he would play games with me. And I know what you may be thinking, "Anon, that's not that big of a deal, just talk to him about it and play with him the next day" and you would be right, that would be a good solution in theory.
>>
>>26757046
But he started doing this every single day, and talking to him wouldn't work so I didn't know what to do. This went on for a long time and I finally figured that enough is enough, I figured that the talking isn't working, and conveying my feelings to him about the situation isn't working, so what's the point? So I gave it some time, and I didn't message him for a while until I saw that a new fighting game came out, I messaged him asking if he wanted to play it with me and all I got was radio silence until 12 days later on the 25th of September he writes back to me "sorry about not responding, I didn't realize you changed your profile lmao, I would get the new amogus game if I had the space,
sorry xo", he knew that I changed my discord profile pic and name to some new wacky goofy shit all the time, he did it too, but suddenly when an account on his friends list that he doesn't recognise messages him he doesn't check it? He always got back to me instantly whenever I would change it in the past, so why not now?

I never responded to him, that was on the 25th of September last year and I miss him so much, I hate admitting that I miss him because of the way he started treating me and I know that he's a good person but I miss him. I miss calling someone on discord every day and playing games with them until my eyes started hurting, I miss laughing with someone until my sides started to hurt, I miss being able to talk to him about anything and everything that was going on in my life and I miss him as a person. The fucked up part is that I can't start talking to him again, we've done the "stop talking for a few months then start talking again" thing too many times and my family knows that I've stopped talking to him so if I start talking to him again I'll get really embarrassed if they find out.

Also, he now plays games with one of my childhood friends that I introduced him to once and it'll seem weird if I just jump back into the friendship now.
>>
>>26757050
Ever since we stopped talking for the final time I haven't even bothered to find new friends, no one will ever get me as well as he did and no one will ever make me feel as comfortable and safe as he did, he was everything you could ask for in a best friend and more, I'll never find someone better than him in terms of a friend. Sure I have two friends that I've known since childhood, but even though they live in the same city as me they're always busy with university and their new friends. I hung with one of them for the first time in over a year recently, sure we picked up where we left off and it was like we never stopped hanging out, but I don't know man.

God, I miss him so much every day.
>>
Lies within the lie. No one else can even confirm such a thing because it isn’t true.
>>
it’s really over permanently, there’s no coming back from that now
>>
>>26757051
That sounds rough and I'm sorry you're hurting.
> no one will ever get me as well as he did and no one will ever make me feel as comfortable and safe as he did
However, that's simply just not true. It might be hard to believe right now but there are so many damn people in this world, and you're bound to run into someone who will feel just as extraordinary. And perhaps won't drift away for other people leaving you feeling abandoned and neglected.
>>
And the funny thing is there are way more instances that’s just one you can’t bullshit talk. Whore.
>>
I find it funny as shit but also worrysome how much a person can be changed just from interacting with other people. Someone left a sign on me, and awakened a part of me I thought was dead and buried. Only time will tell if that is good or not. It probably is good for me, and bad for whoever happens to be unlucky enough to become a secondary target, so to speak.
What's a little time, in this universe?

I feel my blood warming up. Anger is good. Anger is a good catalyst for changer.
>>
Go to hell, whore. I feed iff from your suffering. You accused me of being an emotional vampire, and that is what I will become, but only with you. I told you I would break your mind and I did it. Shrug.
>>
These owls are so beautiful. We find their feathers occasionally and I’d love to get a real nice one framed or something. You can stay as long as you want flying friends
>>
I just wanted honesty but you *cant* do it because you only lie
>>
I’m no emotional vampire, I’m just a person you unnecessarily hurt and can’t help but hating. I will never be getting with you and im not traveling into that area anymore. You belong to the streets except you have rich parents and a good family babying the fuck out of you. No one should ever take you seriously and you should let them know that. I’m off this shit, thank you for giving me the obvious answer I knew in the most retarded way.
>>
Honesty? What I really think?
My mind is filled with hatred and anger. It's not the "I will kill someone" kind of hatred, it's the "I will mentally abuse you so much your synapses will start getting overloaded" kind of hatred. From my point of view, my perception of reality, it is very well warranted.
>>
Then just fucking say the truth.
>>
my girlfriend smells like my sister and I think I have to break it off.
she's like perfect except stupid immune system bs.
I guess that's why kissing is a thing though.
ah fuck.
>>
>>26757102
I don't know what your situation is or what you're on about but I think you should stop and consider not giving into that.
>>
>>26757102
Because maybe when you’re finally fucking honest you won’t be such a cowardly bitch when there’s something you need to say next time
>>
>>26757097
>will never be getting with you and im not traveling into that area anymore.
Just fuck off and KYS already instead of suicide baiting all the fucking time.
And just for your information, unlike you, I actually do fucking work, instead of making bank off of crypto.

"Unnecessarily hurt you?"
Listen for a second, you fucking twat. Hurting back someone that lead me on for years while she never had the intention of ever seeing me, someone that also did intentionally give me and plenty of other men psychosis, is not "unnecessary", it's my fucking duty as a human being against dangerous animals, borderline demons, like you are.
I am the emotional vampire, not you. And in this case, you are the victim. And I'm starting to suspect you also are that.
>>
>>26757038
Shut up jew
>>
So you know you lead men on and have still been doing it just fabulous

I mean in concerns to really opening up with another human being but ur not capable of that.
>>
I mean you loved me and you still do but you could never say it. What do you have to lose now if you say it. Your ego? An ego for what exactly
>>
>>26757137
>I mean you loved me
That is true.
>and you still do
Drop a dozen of Mk84s on that Red Cross convoy. Ripple mode, 25 metres spread. Release when ready.
>>
Just say everything like I did. At least I’ll respect you and not hate you anymore, I promise you that.
>>
>>26757075
I wish it was that simple but it's not just I don't think that I'll find someone that will make me feel the way he did, I don't think I'll find someone else that's exactly like him, like I said, he was everything that you would want in a friend and more, and if the next person that I meet isn't exactly like he was, I don't know if I'll want a friendship with them.

AA4T4
>>
>>26757172
Not exactly like I did because you did a bunch of fucked up shit but yeah.
>>
I can't believe my tulpa committed suicide
>>
bruh fuck these games ur so full of sht
>>
>Apply for construction, oil field, warehouse jobs and just whatever I can find for almost the past two months.
>Radio silence from pretty much all of them for weeks
>Get interview for oil field work but it's canceled last minute
>Do shitty Webcam interview for Best Buy to install appliances
>Interviewer hasn't called back despite saying he would and me trying to reach out
>Uncle offered work to help him cut yards in his business and tells me to call him so he can pick me up
>Miss the first day because I was super hungry when I got up and decided to make myself breakfast
>Get up earlier today, try calling and texting him but he he doesn't answer anything
>Calls me 1 hour later saying there isn't enough room for me on the truck to fit with the other workers
I've just been sitting in my kitchen for the past hour slowly eating a banana and I don't know what to do anymore.
>>
>>26757180
What's a tulpa?
>>
>>26757185
Tibetan Black Magic.
>>
>>26757183
This is your fault, maybe don't eat breakfast on your first day or just munch on something light like a banana, missing your first day of work because you're hungry just shows that you don't deserve a job.
>>
I don't think I'm emotionally/mentally tough enough to handle life or to make difficult choices. I feel like I still have the maturity of a 16 year old.
>>
>>26757183
Imagine not cold calling the number on job listings. I applied for exactly one job when money ran out for NEETing.
>>
>>26757193
How old are you?
>>
>>26757198
26
>>
the only time i ever feel any emotion is the one time a month i make an aggressive gay joke and you reciprocate it
>>
I've been dating a zoomer girl. She's perky and fun to be around but damn she is immature and just doesn't seem to have much of substance to say about anything
>>
>>26757209
How old are you?
>>
>>26757215
Mid 30s shes in her 20s
>>
>>26757203
Do you still live with your parents?
>>
>>26757173
No one will ever be exactly like him, but I think you're idealizing a little too much. You gotta let him go.
>>
>>26757229
I don't know how to let him go, no one has ever been good to me like he was, and if no one will ever be exactly like him, then what's the point in looking for another friend, I don't wanna settle for less when it comes to friendship.
>>
>>26757233
Because someone WILL be good to you like he was, or maybe even in their own unique way that exceeds it. It's hard to believe right now because you're hurt.
>>
>>26757192
I'll admit it was stupid but he said it was okay but I don't know why he'd tell that I wouldn't fit just now.
>>26757196
Where did you call? I've gone to places like Lowes, Home Depot, Hobby Lobby, in-person like people told me too only for them to say to apply online which I figured was the best option.
>>
>>26757236
I've been hurt since September, when will it stop hurting? How do I find someone new? I don't see someone ever exceeding him in any way.
>>
>>26757237
Maybe he was being honest and there were just too many people in the truck.
>>
>>26757243
By letting him go. If he won't pay the rent, then evict him.
>>
>>26753505
Other Asians are way better at sucking cock. Trust me.
>>
>>26757237
A job listing for a warehouse on indeed or something. I don't remember, I just wrote down the number, the type of job and the salary, then I rang them, had an induction and then started working and I haven't stopped ever since.
>>
>>26757249
That's the thing though, I don't know how to. I've only recently gotten over an ex that I broke up with 4-5 years ago, although I think that's because she was the first and only one to ever suck my cock kek.
>>
>>26754557
It might be fun to experience, especially if you can get a threesome (or at least getting sucked by two women, really the main appeal of it). Other than that, as long as your partner is not a lazy asshole, just having a lot of sex with the same person is the best. If you are both putting effort into it, you learn a lot about each other and it after a while the sex is just amazing, better than ever.
>>
I like you but you've truly got me fucked up. If you're gonna play games don't outright tell the person that's what you're doing. You got a lot to learn lmao
>>
>>26757256
It's difficult, god knows I'm also struggling with it. I guess, if I had a guess, understanding that being hung up on people long gone will only prevent you from moving forward.
>>
There are no games here, only anger, hatred and a very phyrric victory. It's worse than being defeated.
>>
>>26754570
I am exactly you, 10 years older, but I have a girlfriend that sucks my dick and some friends, even though I am not a very good friend myself. I am still a useless piece of shit that barely does anything, somehow I got to where I am even without even having a real job. Basically living in fear, that it will all catch up to me and come crashing down. And maybe that's would be for the best, instead of continuing just barely dodging out the rain drops.
Point is, even if you are a piece of garbage like us, if you at least try to go out and do the very minimum talking with some people, you can acquire some human relationships.
>>
>>26757276
I know what's wrong, I just don't know how to fix it. Having the perfect thing just ripped away from you after years of having it is a hard thing to get over y'know?
>>
>>26757286
Sorry for assuming. Yes, that's true. Yes, that's very true.
>>
>>26757289
You're all good anon, no need to apologize.
>>
>>26757249
She already let him go physically. She just can’t let go because of the fact that she is mentally ill.
>>
>>26757296
What purpose does your post serve?
>>
Oh, and a whore.
>>
The story of the friend that comes, stays for a while then goes again reminds me of some friends in real life, like people that go to the same pub or that go out in the same places. It's just how my life is. I learned to deal with it a long time ago.
>>
>>26757298
Do not engage with this woman on here she’s toxic af
>>
>>26757246
Yeah, probably.
>>26757255
What's it like working at a warehouse? I picked up an application for one that houses car parts. Finishing and turning it in today since this yard thing isn't working out.
>>
>>26757305
I can be the judge of that if I learn more, if we're even talking concretely about who someone might be on the anonymous message board. Toxicity is an obstacle to be overcome, ideally. I'll do what I need if I find it overwhelming.
>>
>>26757306
>What's it like working at a warehouse
Where I am right now, I learned more in a week than what in other warehouse jobs I learned in months. It's a job I personally enjoy but most new starters don't last more than a shift there.
>>
We shall greet the morning… together
>>
>>26757317
>>26757305
And I just realized the inconsistencies in trying to identify who you're looking for.
>>
I was so fucking naive and because of you I will never have another close friend in my life. You hurt me so bad and did me so wrong while lying to my face for over a year. Everything I did for you, all the times I was there for you, I had your back 1000% and you fucked me over that hard? People have been cruel to me but never anything like that. I fucking hate that you just get to move on and be happy, you don’t deserve it. I will never make the mistake of trusting someone again though.
I kept every single screenshot that contradicts every lie you ever told about me. At the time I didn’t send them out because your girlfriend was pregnant and as much as she fucking sucks she doesn’t need the stress for the sake of the baby. But if you ever say shit about me to anyone ever again I’m putting everything I have in a folder and sending it to all our mutual friends, your girlfriend, your parents, all of your “connections” in the music industry. And everyone will know what a desperate fucking clown you are. I hope you end up miserable. Fuck you.
>>
ur ex ‘you can’t get over’ started cheating because he figured/learned about your past BTW
>>
>>26757321
>most new starters don't last more than a shift there.
Why's that? I've done warehouse at Academy and Cabela's which wasn't so bad unless we were understaffed. Also how much should I ask for pay from this car parts place? It's a 15 min drive from my house and gas is $5 here.
>>
>>26757305
I'm a guy and they were just a friend, nothing more, there's nothing toxic about what I'm going through.
>>
>>26757334
“Past” oh hahaha I meant just you in general excuse me
>>
>>26757335
>Why's that
I guess because most parcels weigh at least 50 pounds.
>Also how much should I ask for pay from this car parts place
Whatever they offer you if you really want the job, if you know how to negotiate you could ask for about the same wage as the other warehouses around you pay - if you are a good worker.
>>
>>26757338
Nigga ur gay
>>
>>26757351
And you're retarded, what's your point?
>>
was feeling so positive last week, now i'm sitting here feeling like my life's a joke and everything's fucked and everyone hates me and I hate everyone, and finally it dawned on me that, duhdoy, my period's due.
why is being a woman so fucking retarded. see you in a few days, serotonin.
>>
I am a complete fucking idiot asshole piece of garbage
>>
here’s the deal, we have sex for a month or two, and when ur retarded baby mama phase is out of ur system I never have to see you again. I live on side second door
>>
>>26757381
You're not!
>>
>>26757350
Okay thanks warehouse bro. Hopefully I get this job and manage to fix my sleep schedule.
>>
>>26757394
well that's dumb, i can't have even 1 baby within 2 months
>>
>>26756396
I know it does. I’m sorry from the bottom of my fucking heart. I haven’t had a good night sleep since I met you. I’m sorry if reading these things made things worse too, I don’t know how to handle these situations and I’m mentally ill.
>>
I wish my retarded brain would shut up once in a while and let my mouth have the floor. I'll have a thought, and by the time it occurs to me to express it, the moment of it is gone and to do so feels like it would be forced/rehearsed.
Like, if I see someone I know wearing a shirt of a band I like, I can't just be taken away by that surprise moment of recognition and be like "oh shit, you like x too?" and start a conversation. My brain just instantly starts flipping through script options of what to say, so that saying anything feels overanalysed and unnatural.
It really gets in the way of being able to connect with people. Once I'm in a conversation I'm okay, but I'm fucking incapable of being the one to start it.
>>
>>26756192
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/weight-loss-herbs
>>
>>26756419
Man...
>>
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I want to do shit besides browse 4chan but I don't really know what to do.
>>
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It's very easy to get debilitating social and sexual hangups from the internet that literally nobody is worried about in real life outside of certain circles that you probably don't want to move in anyway

Talking in particular about age gaps (provided over 18, or 20+ if you're pushing 30)
>>
baby it's us against the world....
>>
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I think I am mentally/emotionally fucked. Not psychotic or anything, but it definitely gets in the way of me progressing in life sometimes. I want to be able to hold a small conversation, and do more than just get the other person to keep talking. I really don't want to be this reserved anymore. I want to comfortable telling my friends or gf about things I like or what I'm doing. My friends and I always joke about how secretive I am. It's probably a defense mechanism, but it's basically ingrained into my personality at this point.
I hate that I intimidate people on accident. I like being built/almost buff, but being very timid just makes it seem like I'm mad or something half the time.
I really regret dating my ex. It was mostly online, but she lived ~4 hours away. She was emotionally abusive, and although I'm well over her at this point I'm concerned that my experiences have irreversibly changed me. Come to think of it, that's partially where me being so reserved/secretive comes from. A big reason I regret it is because I had a bunch of chances to get with someone at my own high school, but she'd threaten to off herself if I left or cheated (she'd try to do so before for unrelated reasons). Sometimes I think back to that time, and how nice it would have been to be with someone in particular. It's something I've accepted, and I usually don't get hung up over it.
I feel very lonely. It's hard for me to open up to people about basic things, and talking about my emotions is usually like pulling teeth. I'll be leaving my family's home in ~a month, and I'm going to miss them. I don't think I'm taking my cat with me yet, but I'll miss him a lot, too. I've sat with him and took care of him when he'd have clusters of seizures at night or day, and I'll pay more for wet food because he's a picky bastard (also his stomach's sensitive, I think). I'll still be in town, so I think I'll visit them fairly regularly still.
Ik this is me rambling, but thanks for reading :)
>>
>>26757581
>gets gangbanged
>I haven’t been with anyone haha
>>
>hm I wonder why I can’t get over him?
>>
I dreampt how I had amnesia and forgoy my true love. I think it was actually real I got tackled by a bunch of cats.
>>
>oh yeah I talk to like 20 different guys every year and fuck half of them that’s not a lot, I don’t sleep with everyone haha
>>
>what don’t worry about those guys I have in my place all the time. Im perfectly stable for a relationship and don’t cheat? haha. I just fuck multiple men every time I’m out of my old relationship.
>>
>changed
>constantly surrounded by simps
Stfu
>>
>>26756785
How often do you reach out? Maybe she’s feeling unappreciated or something along those lines.
>>
>>26756832
I’d tell you if I knew. So many of these masks have melded together or cracked under their own weight, and I can’t find where they start and end, much less where the real person is underneath it all.
>>
>my simps are my friends not people trying to fuck me
>>
>>26756729
I’m sorry for causing you unrest. I hope your day is peaceful and beautiful. and if it is not too much trouble, could you please say hi to your dog from me?
>>
You won't find an answer online as to why you feel like shit every day
>>
Literally don’t trust you from things you’ve said, haven’t said, and did. Hell nah.
>>
>listening to a random 80s/90s/00s artist on spotify
>decide to check them out on google
>artist is dead
FUCK this shit is depressing
>>
I thought enough about it.
You lied about having a boyfriend, ur lying about this.
>>
TEXT ME BACK DEMON SLAYER GIRL
>>
>>26758028
Never trust anyone even if you think you trust them, they'll Stab you in the back or use you for their own reasons.
>>
>>26756946
I'd ask them "so why don't you die?" but that would just make me like them. Half my frustration is over not defending my position better.
>>
ouch, that fucking hurt
>>
I'm so sorry
>>
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You should be happy, proud of yourself and of your decisions, prioritizing your career must be the focus. That's the mindset, right? So why aren't you happy? Haven't you forgotten how it feels like to be human and vulnerable yet?

If you're gonna sell your soul, make sure you're up for the task :)
>>
Nah it just won’t work.
>>
Everything just keeps getting more and more expensive and I'm just a loser anxious neet who already has enough problems paying for stuff before, I mean I guess me not having a car is a bit of an advantage in a way not having to at least pay for gas, but stuff like this is just upsetting
>>
>>26756598
K
>>
>>26758313
Like for example, one of the few things in life these days I look forward to is once a week getting a pizza every week. Now they don't want me to enjoy that seeing the price constantly going up.
>>
What will it take to get a stalker girl to leave me alone?
>>
>>26758353
Be with her and let her realize how much you suck
>>
Ψ(`∀´#)ノ~>
>>
I'm 30 and I "check all the boxes for what used to be called asperger's" and I of course would like to believe this! To explain! Some shit!
>>
And there we go. After weeks of investigating, I've finally made a start. I'll go for every opportunity tomorrow. I'll keep the stakes small as I ease in to it, but this is a game changer.

I will continue to explore the other pattern as I start my new journey. Already I think this has the potential to change my life, and if I an find a way to exploit the other pattern smoothly, I will be a very happy man.

I am a genius.
>>
>>26758450
I'm in my 30s too, people want to label me as that too but I just focus on the fact that my anxiety issues is the real thing to worry about. I have medication and stuff but no it never goes completely away. But really fuck other people's labels of me.
>>
>>26758646
I mean you do you but for me it kind of feels like a weight lifted off, like "oh I literally don't understand because I just literally fucking don't understand, my brain is different," like why I have to force myself to make eye contact with people and why I suck shit at interpersonal relationships and understanding people and stuff and why I have never ever felt quite normal. I don't know yet! But it would make sense and give me some peace of mind.
>>
does anyone have experience with self harm that isn't cutting/puking? burning leaves those huge keloid scars. i need temporary pain to distract myself from what i'm feeling. working out to the point of pain seems 'healthier' but that would mean i have to eat food more. weight isn't an issue, i don't feel hungry with anxiety.
>>
>>26758661
Yeah I mean I know I most likely have it too I'm similar, it does explain things but I have to focus on the actual issue being my anxiety, which I bet probably comes from it or doesn't help.
>>
>>26758681
Please don't.
>>
>>26758681
Just continually make the wrong decisions over and over like me. It hurts pretty bad.
>>
>>26758684
I agree with that. That's kinda what my therapist's thinking is right now with me.
>>
>>26758687
i dont want to do anything long term or make a habit out of it. i need another way to cope with life right now. burning seems easiest but i dont want to leave marks people could see.
>>
>>26758699
My opinion is, if you want to feel pain, you should feel the emotional pain. Sit with it. Let it through you and then out of you.
>>
>>26758691
i'm trying to get better, not worse. i want the harm to be temporary, not mess up my life. i hope you can start making better choices for yourself anon :(
>>
>>26758416
Not all stalkers are interested in being with someone romantically. I stalk people online to keep tabs on them.
>>
>>26758701
ive done this for years anon. things have gotten to the point where its so painful it physically hurts me. i need a distraction from it even if just temporary. i want to hurt in a different way.
>>
>>26758731
Is there anything at all you can change about your current situation that has you in so much pain?
>>
>>26758324
I warned everyone what what coming, I warned everyone to stop fighting and band together to fight it but no one listened and now it's too late for everyone.
>>
>>26758737
Greedy corporations, known that for a long time
>>
>>26758735
the few issues are out of my hands and something that only will pass with time. i have to just put up with it for awhile until its finished. thats why i need something as a temporary fix until it all passes. i have no other dangerous thoughts of death or anything like that.
>>
You fucking owe me Trump - BIG TIME!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djV11Xbc914
>>
yall about to get laid way less LOL
>>
>>26758750
Then what did you do about it?
>>
>>26758783
They don't get laid at all.
>>
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>>26758783
I ain't never had penetrative coitus
>>
>>26758784
The only thing I really could do was try to vote, I'm a simple loser neet with not much money that can't really leave the house much. I feel so helpless/hopeless sometimes. But that was the intention, they helped made me feel this way
>>
why does this person's attention matter so much to me? i wish i had never met them or been around them. i feel like a stupid child who will scream if they don't have their person's attention, but at the same time who is too worthless to gain it steadily, long term. and yet their attention is just what i might need to blossom.
>>
>>26758823
i just hate being so unimportant. easily discarded, not a priority.
>>
>>26758737
Warned what exactly, inflation? Something people have been screaming about since the covid relief bills in 2020? What exactly was your plan?
>>
>>26758783
Low going lower now
Tfw literally cucked by the *
> :*(



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