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My bf talks a big game sexually but never delivered. Obviously I get quite frustrated as I am promised very hot things that get me going and get my hopes up, only to get nothing / not the promised thing at the end. I want to tell him to stop getting my hopes up, but I don't want him to stop saying stuff, I want him to stop failing to deliver.

Is it worth saying anything? Am I being brat? If not, how the fuck do I approach this? I don't want him to stop talking sexy unless there's literally no other option, if that makes sense.

Pic unrelated
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>>26750622
He's most likely lying about his past sexual conquests just to make himself look hotter in your eyes, if he hasn't delivered yet he's probably a virgin but won't admit it because he knows you'll leave him.
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>>26750622
he should learn to have sex.
i personaly dont know what that means so you're on your own girl.
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>>26750622
He will never deliver and if you make the mistake of saying anything he will consider it an unfounded attack on his manhood and consider you a wanton slut.
One day you will find a guy that not only delivers but takes you places sexually you never imagined, when just the thought of his touch makes you swoon. You'll look back on you current disappointment as time wasted.
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be proactive, suggest that he do the things he said he'd do. express interest in a very direct way.
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You need to tell him. He's probably just dirty talking and thinks you understand the situation and are satisfied. My last bf would say all kinds of crazy shit just as dirty talk while our actual sex was fairly tame (but mutually VERY satisfying).
If you're not making your desires known, your sexual dissatisfaction is your own doing.
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>>26750631
No sorry, he doesn't boast about previous exploits, he's very honest about his lack of experience. However, when we talk dirty (he starts) he suggests / fantasizes about / promises things that when it comes to actually doing stuff he doesn't go towards and it's like the conversation never happened. This has happened a couple of times.

>>26750636
I appreciate the honesty

>>26750656
I don't know about never deliver but yes the "attack on manhood" thing is why I haven't said anything. The stuff that we do fits your second part, he's not bad for sure, the only issue I have is he hypes himself up beyond and then acts like he never said anything
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Can you give any examples of things he's said without delivering on?
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>>26750657
>>26750673
It's a little difficult, the things he's promising are things that he has to do unprompted and a degree of surprise on my part are required, so I can't really suggest those things in the moment without it not really working. I have brought up unprompted in "relationship conversations" that they're definitely things I would like to do for real and they are very hot and things usually progress from there but with no stuff that has been talked about by him.
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>>26750708
so don't bring it up in the moment, bring it up before so he knows to do it, and after if he didn't.
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>>26750693
This is a blue board so I'll do my best. Things like "surprising me", keeping me in place and doing what he wanted to do. Uhhh things like covering my eyes and pinning my wrists, that kind of scene. I don't use these boards often so trying not to get in trouble. If anyone thinks these are things I can sexily suggest in the moment, I'm all ears for ideas.
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>>26750717
>I have brought up unprompted in "relationship conversations" that they're definitely things I would like to do for real and they are very hot and things usually progress from there but with no stuff that has been talked about by him.
Apologies for the vagueness but this sentence is literally supposed to say I talk to him about it, we fuck literally just after the conversation and still nothing happens. I'm not sure how one can be clearer after a serious conversation.
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>>26750726
>This is a blue board
that only applies to images, why the fuck do so many people think anyone gives a fuck what you type
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>>26750735
>I'm not sure how one can be clearer after a serious conversation.
By bringing it up again and continuing to do so until he gets his shit together.
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>>26750726
you can say anything, you just can't post nsfw images. imo just remind him in a way that makes you sound eager and wanting, and maybe not as a confrontation or like you're calling him out if you're so worried about "attacking his manhood" or whatever. Talk about those things in the future. if you're out, tease him about how "later [he] can <do whatever thing> when you get home, but for now [he'll] just have to think about it". shit like that. put the idea there, along with your desire, and see if he can put two and two together.
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>>26750622
He is scared of what you will think in person. He probably cant understand that you want to do it unless you explicitly say.
Women give mixed messages. My ex told me so many times that she didnt want to do exhibitionism so many times right up to the moment we anal-fucked like rabbits on a dog walkers path.
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>>26750760
She's a newfren obviously
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>>26750685
>I have is he hypes himself up beyond
actually like you said he gets you worked up and then its anticlimactic. If you watched a movie that does that you would not see that movie again and the rest of the movie for nothing.
Anyway your only option is as he backs off you growl "finish what you started"
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>>26750760
Dunno, I don't chill on blue boards and actually want help. Seems best to err on the side of caution.

>>26750764
Right, but you seem to be missing the fact that I'm explicitly asking how I approach this in a way that doesn't make him feel like I'm attacking him or wanting him to stop. I thought that was pretty clear from the OP saying those things explicitly.

>>26750773
Yeah, I've actually done something very similar to that, taking about how I'm excited for it and how I'm wanting it. Maybe our problem is I tend to get carried away and we go to town straight away? Perhaps I should keep a few hours ora day between the ask and fucking. I thought that would give more of a reason to forget over going for it instantly, but it's not worked for me yet so I will try your twist on it I guess
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>>26750786
>He is scared of what you will think in person
No hes scared of what he will think of her afterwards.
An ex always talked about a threesome with his friend and after he talked about it one night it spontaneously happened. I don't know what he expected but he left the room angry and wouldn't speak to me after because I went along with it and didn't stop and rush after him.
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>>26750841
Well if he busts his nut that's your cue to stop. Otherwise you are just making love to his friend infront if him. I thought that's woman 101 information.

What kind of fantasies is he talking to you about anyway?
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>>26750846
>that's your cue to stop
He should never have insisted it happen, he kept on me about it for months and when it started that once he kept pushing me to let go but when I did he suddenly got angry. Thats not on me but on him.
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>>26750786
But I do explicitly say it, in person and over text. I'm sorry you got mixed messages but I don't know how to counter "women lie" as an individual she's i don't think it's possible to.

>>26750794
I've been here since the first r9k. Some of us don't do blue boards unless we need too.

>>26750819
The movie is still full of action scenes and chill moments, I was just promised Brad Pitt and he's the invisible guy. It's a good time, I just feel cheated. Does that make sense? I can't growl at him to finish something he doesn't start!

>>26750841
I sure hope not but I couldn't possibly comment.

>>26750846
You're not responding to the OP, myself, but here >>26750726
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>>26750866
>he doesn't start!
you tell him he got you worked up and ready so get going DAMMIT.
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>>26750622
he's not actually emotionally attached to you, he's only dating you because you're a girl. he's basically flirting with you because it's fun. even a virgin would feel compelled to perform acts if he was actually in love with her. he probably thinks you are a whore deep down and he's basically treating you like a booty call prostitute, he talks and then you meet and he lays there and waits for you to do your whore thing because he knows you're a whore who is good at pleasing men. he is not attempting to please you because he doesnt care about you because you're a whore. a man in love would dive into your pussy and eat it and be overcome with emotions and pick you up your feet. he's talking the game with you because he knows thats what you like because you're a whore , and he is trying to instigate you into performing whore acts on him without actually having to have sex with you back. he is probably lonely and tired of only having whores around but he wants to fit in or try to date rather than be alone so he flirts with whores to instigate them into fucking him and doing porn shit on him while he doesnt even have to kiss them. he doesnt wanna talk sexy he wants to cuddle and kiss and do missionary with his lovely wife. he knows you arent his lovely wife you're the girl who fucks hard. he believes you dont really love him and he doesnt really love you. if a man believes you really love him he wont be nervous about performing on her because he knows she wont leave. he will also want to perform just because he wants you so bad. he obviously doesnt want you that bad and he knows you will never actually accept him on the inside even if he is a guy who just wants to cuddle and do missionary and kiss sometimes. he knows you're a whore who likes it rough and he'll never love that. see you when you inevitably break up because you lost your ability to pairbond doing porno shit on men who arent your husband
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>>26750892
t.
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>>26750622
>how the fuck do I approach this
Men like it when you are straightforward. Just tell him but also but you have to be very specific about the problem and how to fix it.
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>>26750881
That just seems like a good way to kill the mood dead instead of getting what I want, but I will make a note to try after I've tried a couple of other things suggested.

>>26750892
Wow, is there a tldr? I don't tend to read schizo posts, sorry
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>>26750899
typical response, female who gets criticized says have sex. you even consider yourself an object why would any man think differently . if i'm such an incel, have sex with me then. you're one of the hoes who should be having sex with me
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>>26750907
he doesnt perform or is nervous about it because he thinks you dont actually love him deep down because you're just the slutty girl who fucks hard. he is aroused by the idea of hooking up with a booty call prostitute like yourself but is also ashamed about letting his true self out because he knows you wont like it, because his true self wants to perform dirty acts on his lovely wife, and you will never be his lovely wife. he is basically doing irl masturbation/porn with you. he's not burning with passion to go fuck his wife and you're so in love. your relationship is just a booty call where you cant booty call other people or it's cheating.
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>>26750903
How doi be specific about this issue without him feeling like I feel he's not good enough or thinking that the correct thing to do is to stop dirty talking - this is the line I am struggling to walk and just asking for stuff isn't working.

>>26750917
That's the tldr?? Do you have a tldr for the tldr?
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>>26750908
Yikes sweatie, you aren't entitled to heckin sex.
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>>26750908
This is wild - whoever responded to you was not the OP, but I will be stealing that wojack for future use
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>>26750622
This is what happens to sluts who have way too many partners and watch porn. The fact is you'll never be sexually satisfied. Girls, take notes.
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>>26750927
>>26750932
go back
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>>26750917
He doesn't love you and is treating you like a stripper.
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>>26750940
TIL having a second sexual partner is "way too many". I love seeing the super feminist anti-porn view though, bit weird to see on 4chan though and I'll have to respectfully disagree with you.

>>26750941
I will be returning to r9k and Pol the moment I feel like I've got enough help, don't worry
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>>26750941
Uhhhhggggg......yeah, no incel, have sex sweatiepie, touch grass.
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>>26750952
You may have had only 2 partners but you live like you've had 50. I don't have a doubt you're swinging for the fences with your count.
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>>26750948
Oh, well, he has a weird way of showing it outside of our sex life, but I appreciate the attempt to warn me
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>>26750959
1) How does one live like they have many sexual partners with, y'know, sleeping with lots of people?
2) How do you know what I live like? I'm complaining that my monogamous partner isn't hitting the levels he's setting, but that's all you know.
3) The entire second sentence may as well have been greek I'm afraid, I understand every word but not aranged in that order apparently.
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>>26751014
1) The fact that the mere act of sex isn't still novel to you at 2 partners is a red flag, there's something going on with you

2) Maybe he just has a small dick but I don't know what you're expecting, see above, if you've only had 2 partners you should be having a good time just having missionary. If you want to have your sexual encounters be more thrilling you need to engage with the sex. Sounds like you want him to do more work and not giving him anything to work with. He probably treats the sex talk like foreplay.

3) You will have many boyfriends in the future as this sexual unfulfillment thing will be a recurring theme that ultimately sabotages your relationships. I'll also assert you'll get ruined when you get fucked by a sexual Chad that ghosts you the next day.
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>>26751061
1) Why do you think sex isn't novel? I've said previously on this thread, the sex is great and I would be perfectly happy with it if he wasn't going above and beyond to say stuff that he then doesn't do. It's like your girl offering anal and then not doing it - are you then a sex freak for being disapointed?
2) He doesn't, but if he did, still wouldn't be my issue. Please see my above response to the fact that I do enjoy our sex life.
>Sounds like you want him to do more work and not giving him anything to work with.
I mean, I'm the only one even starting these conversations of "I want" outside of him talking dirty and I can assure you I am quite vocal about my agreemtn to the things he's suggesting.
3) Please stop projecting your weird fantasies onto me
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>>26751140
>enjoy my sex life
>complains about it on 4chan
Your story doesn't line up
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Every single fucking post that is supposedly written by a female is always about sex, boys or some other bullshit.
Please fuck off with your non problems.
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>>26750726
Wtf. Pinning you down and having his way is so vanilla. Does he normally say please and thankyou during sex? Lol.

I'm nsturally very skinny but I enjoy going full domination during sex and it tends to compensate. I once gave a girl haemorrhoids because I ass fucked her without lube since it was hot in the moment.
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>>26751184
If you re-read the OP, you can see I'm frustrated as he's failing to hit the standards he is setting. There are lots of people making similar assumptions to yourself who have been corrected, and there's even a movie metaphor in response (middle) here;
>>26750866
I am frustrated because the dude is promising shit and not delivering. There would otherwise be nothing wrong with our sex life. If I thought he was a bad lay, it would be an awkward conversation but not one I would require assistance with trying to balance.

>>26751203
Because if it wasn't about sex or being attacted to men, there's no need to state a gender. If I wanted help with my job or my pet, why would I tell anyone I'm a chick? That would be as dumb as expecting someone to specify their gender when it's not relevant, surely.

>>26751210
Kek, no, but I do. He is very vanilla. That's fine, I'd rather that than absolute freak in honesty. Yeah, definitely do not want any haemorrhoids from sex personally.
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>>26751224
You're just a picture perfect definition that women always have something to complain about. Social media was a mistake.
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>>26751224
Shut the fuck up already, Holy shit.
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>>26751224
You need to withhold sex and tease him until he gets sexually frustrated enough that he does what you want.
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>>26751261
>withhold sex
EXCELLENT RELATIONSHIP ADVICE LADIES! Use sex like currency that's how healthy sexual relationships happen
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>>26751230
>>26751247
Please go be triggered elsewhere, 4chan is not your safe space, not even the blue boards. If you were genuinely unbothered by me you would not reply.

>>26751261
Hard pass, thanks. Ignoring the fact that I don't believe you should use sex as a bargaining chip, I like having sex with him. Seems a bit cut off your nose to spite your face.
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>>26751273
Zip it, chud.
>>26751282
>Hard pass, thanks. Ignoring the fact that I don't believe you should use sex as a bargaining chip, I like having sex with him. Seems a bit cut off your nose to spite your face
He won't do what you want until you withhold sex. Hopefully he gets the hint.
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>>26751282
Yeah you're right, this space isn't safe for you. I'll call you out on your bullshit. If your boyfriend knew what you were saying about him behind his back to strangers online he'd break up with you. Instead of telling strangers how good and bad your sex is how about you get off your lazy cunt and fuck your boyfriend like you want to be fucked.

>>26751295
Why stop at withholding sex so he fucks you better? Why not withhold sex when he doesn't do the laundry? Why not withhold sex when he doesn't take the trash out the second you ask?

Women like you will die alone.
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>>26751230
Just out of curiosity, are you able to actually answer this?
>I've said previously on this thread, the sex is great and I would be perfectly happy with it if he wasn't going above and beyond to say stuff that he then doesn't do. It's like your girl offering anal and then not doing it - are you then a sex freak for being disapointed?
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>>26751299
>Why stop at withholding sex so he fucks you better? Why not withhold sex when he doesn't do the laundry? Why not withhold sex when he doesn't take the trash out the second you ask?
Those aren't related to sex
>Women like you will die alone.
I won't sweetie, but you will die without ever having seen a real vagina.
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>>26751302
If you're not adult enough to make those things happen that's your problem. You just sound like a woman, complaining about things not happening when the last time I checked sex is a two person act. If you're just starfishing and doing and saying nothing it's fucking ridiculous you're putting this all on your boyfriend.
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>>26750622
>My bf talks a big game sexually but never delivered.
As men are prone to doing.
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>>26751314
You're already treating your pussy like currency like a common whore. The only guy who would put up with your bullshit is a beta simp. And I know for a fact those men don't get your pussies wet. If you're already using your pussy logically to get what you want you're dry with your partner. Once your partner realizes simp dancing for you isn't worth the sex your bedroom shrivels up and dies.
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>>26751295
I'm not sure about you, but I don't think I'd like to be in a relationship with someone that I would have to go to such lengths to get him to respect what I want. I think I would break up with him first, honestly.

>>26751299
I've been here since r9k was first here bud, you're the one telling someone to shut up when you could literally just... go to another thread or board.
If my bf saw that I was trying to find a way to communicate something to him without making him feel slighted or insignificant, whilst constantly saying that I enjoy our sex life and defending him to people who think he's a fuck boy, you think he'd break up with me? I mean, he'd probably think it's a little weird, but it's leagues better than discussing it with mutual friends that actually know him. He knows I use 4chan, he's seen r9k. I'm not sure this is the gotcha you think it is.

>>26751316
Oh wow, you really haven't read any of the thread have you? Well, my bad for taking you seriously. If you read literally anything, you'd already know why I can't really do much more than start a conversation to make those things happen and it's 99% cus I'm not really supposed to know it's happening until it happens. I'm sorry this has upset you so much you lash out without actually reading, like, anything.
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>>26751329
Is it not embarrassing, to fall for bait this obvious? She literally said you will never see a vagina, that's like the bait that started the 2nd r9k. Dude, you should take a breather or something.
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>>26751330
"my boyfriend talks big before sex and doesn't deliver"
Not much to your problem and it sounds like you do nothing to help him with delivery. You sound like a cunt.
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>>26751335
Post your landwhale body, I'll take you seriously when I see you're not fat and don't look like a dyke.
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>>26751329
Kek, you're such a bitter little incel. Were you not able to satisfy your partners?
>>26751330
>I'm not sure about you, but I don't think I'd like to be in a relationship with someone that I would have to go to such lengths to get him to respect what I want
He doesn't respect you enough to want to please you. You don't have a choice.
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>>26751224
>Yeah, definitely do not want any haemorrhoids from sex personally.
She didnt either, but whatever it was fun in the moment. She busted her nut from it even though I didnt touch her pussy so was obviously having fun. It wa only after that she got mad kek.
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>>26751341
Because I'm not fucking you I can tell you what men think about women who treat their pussies like a resource.
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>>26751348
If a man wants sex, he should respect the other partner's desires, and by not doing that or talking it out with her he shows that he cares only about himself.
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>>26751365
You might find this fascinating but I only have sex women who want to have sex with me just to have sex, not because there's resources being traded in the background. You have this attitude because you deal with men you don't respect, sorry.
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>>26751336
I don't know which offended dude you are, I'm assuming the middle guy, but let me know if not. If that sentence would make my boyfriend break up with me despite the context of the whole thread and conversations, I would have dodged a bullet. If you talk big and then don't do anything, it is not a grave insult for someone to say as much and if you don't like it, you should probably stop. I would not take contention with him saying that I talk a lot of smack but don't have the physical wherewithal to do anything about it, but whilst it's not nice it's bloody true.
>it sounds like you do nothing to help him with delivery
Oh, someone else too offended to read. I'd probably read the whole comment you're responding to, it may illuminate some things for you.

>>26751341
Why is it that if something goes wrong, it immediately has to be malicious? Are people not able to make routine mistakes out of comfort, or habit, or from simply not taking the situation seriously enough? Are you the kind of person who goes on reddit and their only advice is withold sex or break up?

>>26751343
I mean if it works for you guys, but not for me thanks.
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>>26751376
You're catty
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>>26751339
Yeah no I'm real good on that, ignoring the fact that that definitely crosses a line when I'm looking for advice for my boyfriend, ew, no, 4chan doesn't get my photos.

I don't take you seriously because you're incapable of reading a conversation before trying to contribute to it, you try to not take me seriously based on what I look like. that's quite interesting, don't you think?
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>>26751375
>You might find this fascinating but I only have sex women who want to have sex with me just to have sex
Yeah, and when you have sex, both partners should talk about what they want and not ignore the other person's wishes. I highly doubt you have sex.
>>26751376
>Why is it that if something goes wrong, it immediately has to be malicious?
The fact that you've tried multiple times to talk to your partner about this and he does nothing means he just wants sex out of you
>Are people not able to make routine mistakes out of comfort, or habit, or from simply not taking the situation seriously enough?
You're being naiive. Most people aren't like this.
>Are you the kind of person who goes on reddit and their only advice is withold sex or break up?
No, but those are your only two options in this case.
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>>26751395
Yeah just what I figured, you're a 4 making demands.
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>>26751397
>I highly doubt you have sex (with women like me).
Yeah, you're right.

>both partners should talk about what they want and not ignore the other person's wishes
Your relationship sounds toxic and you low-key resent your boyfriend. I don't get why you have to lie about how good the sex is. Just admit your relationship is shit and it's time to move on. I don't get this bipolar flip flopping between thinking your boyfriend is both a chump who doesn't care about you and someone who is great at sex. Sounds like he's bad at sex and you resent him. Just admit it.
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>>26751414
>Yeah, you're right.
Yikes, absolute yikes. Sounds like someone is coping bigly
>Your relationship sounds toxic and you low-key resent your boyfriend. I don't get why you have to lie about how good the sex is. Just admit your relationship is shit and it's time to move on. I don't get this bipolar flip flopping between thinking your boyfriend is both a chump who doesn't care about you and someone who is great at sex. Sounds like he's bad at sex and you resent him. Just admit it.
My relationship with him is great because he actually listens to what I have to say and vice versa. If he has a problem he actually tells me and we work on it together instead of doing what OPs partner does. Sorry you won't ever have the pleasure of knowing such a relationship.
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>>26751377
Yes, I am. I am currently responding to 1) a dude who's trying to gaslight me into his reality despite not knowing very much about my boyfriend at all, 2) someone who believes the only way to get my boyfriend to respect me is withhold sex and 3) a guy who's boasting about giving a girl haemarrhoids from anal which, whilst admittedly isn't nearly as bad as the other two, is a pretty weak "best in category"

>>26751397
I've spoken to my partner multiple times about how much I would like him to do certain stuff to me. This lack of stuff doesn't automatically mean the man doesn't do anything for me outside of sex, doesn't mean that he's not actively great in other areas, and to assume an automatic malice is worrying, honestly.
What I am trying to do is instigate a conversation to tell him to stop saying this shit if he's not going to do it, but also I really don't want him to stop if he actually wants to do the stuff. I don't care that he doesn't do it. I just don't want to be teased. I am never doing anal - does that mean he should break up with me if he keeps asking for anal and I tease it and don't give it to him, or should he discuss his issue with the teasing?
The fact that you unironically think that because he doesn't cater to my every whim it means he doesn't see me as a person is so strange to me. I would have assumed you were being hyperbolic as this is 4chan, but you're arguing with someone else to who's not agreeing with me either so I think you're being genuine.

>>26751399
Kek, you're still not getting photos bud. Also not made any demands, just advised this isn't your safe space and you can go elsewhere if it's genuinely getting to you.
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>>26751427
How can I take a landwhale 4 fucking a 6 seriously? We both know why he doesn't take you seriously.
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>>26751414
Wow, you're so illiterate you're arguing with a completely different woman using my talking points and history. This is cringe bro, try and kep your comment trains straight.
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>>26751434
It's hard to keep all the fat women in this thread straight.
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>>26751433
Hey now, he's at least a 9. I couldn't give a fuck if you take me seriously, this is 4chan, I just thought it was funny and wanted to point it out.

>>26751440
I can assure you if you were literate it wouldn't be. If you haven't noticed, you can click the numbers at the top of comments to follow the chain, it really helps I think.
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>>26750622
Tell him you only want him to say stuff he actually delivers on. If he's too insecure to hear that he needs to grow up and learn the lesson. Or you can take command yourself.
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>>26750622
a tale of two lovers
1. guy constantly tells me how good he can lick pussy and every girl cums. Bothers me some he constantly saying this and talking about other girls. I relent to sex and he goes straight for my V with this just you wait girl look. He stats to maul my VAGINA and nips my C. Ouch you are hurting me, no I'm not no other girl thinks so something is wrong with you. He mauls then gets mad and wants to ague I don't know what I want and I'm the problem.

2. guy doesn't speak about sex and I want it but expect the worse. Kiss kiss kiss kiss, lick OOOOOOOMG and he quietly asks is this ok YES YES LICK MORE THERE then he does something different OOOOOOOOOOOOMG followed by is this good but by this time I cannot form words.
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>>26751427
>'ve spoken to my partner multiple times about how much I would like him to do certain stuff to me. This lack of stuff doesn't automatically mean the man doesn't do anything for me outside of sex, doesn't mean that he's not actively great in other areas, and to assume an automatic malice is worrying, honestly.
Kind of does. Sex is one of the most important parts of a relationship. The fact that he just teases and doesn't do anything for you says a lot about him
>What I am trying to do is instigate a conversation to tell him to stop saying this shit if he's not going to do it, but also I really don't want him to stop if he actually wants to do the stuff. I don't care that he doesn't do it. I just don't want to be teased. I am never doing anal - does that mean he should break up with me if he keeps asking for anal and I tease it and don't give it to him, or should he discuss his issue with the teasing?
Discuss it and if you don't want it, leave.
>The fact that you unironically think that because he doesn't cater to my every whim it means he doesn't see me as a person is so strange to me. I would have assumed you were being hyperbolic as this is 4chan, but you're arguing with someone else to who's not agreeing with me either so I think you're being genuine.
You're just not seeing the bigger picture.
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>>26751449
Why the fuck would I read the novels written by a fat cunt dating a man out of her league who treats her like a cum rag?
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>>26751453
Yeah, yeah, I get that, I'm just like - when? I don't want to start a conversation out of the blue because that feels like it'll feel like a lecture or he's doing something wrong. I don't want to do it during sex because other than completely killing the mood I can imagine that it would be really easy to take it as a personal attack. And I don't want to wait until he starts dirty talking abd go "no you won't" cus that's just starting a fight. I don't want him to stop unless he wants to stop, but that line is a difficult one to walk without going "stop lying", you feel me?

>>26751455
I mean technically my boyfriend is the latter - he only started dirty talking years into the relationship because I told him I liked it, but then he took to it real well. Too well.

>>26751456
>The fact that he just teases and doesn't do anything for you says a lot about him
Bro he does stuff for me, just he also talks big game and then doesn't follow through. I don't understand how lying about what he's going to do to me also discounts everything sexual he has done for me that aren't those things he promised.
>Discuss it and if you don't want it, leave.
Aye, which is why I have come to advice on 4chan, full of dudes, to find a way to start this conversation without stepping on toes, giving him the wrong impression or otherwise killing the conversation before it starts.
>You're just not seeing the bigger picture
On the contrary, you have been given a tiny morsel of life and have extrpolated out into a bigger picture which isn't accurate. I'm not trying to be funny, but it's not healthy to assume that because someone if bigging themselves up sexually and then not doing that exact thing that they are unable to meet needs in the bedroom or elsewhere. Like genuinely. I could understand if you asked questions and went from there but you just kinda went.
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>>26751459
Kek. One would assume because you're trying to actually contribute to a conversation, otherwise it just looks like you're offended a woman is talking about getting laid and are furiously lashing out.
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>>26751505
Yes or no, is your partner is at least 2 points more attractive than you?
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>>26751517
I wouldn't know, sorry if that ruins what you were doing bud. Most normies don't sexually rank their mates and I've never posted a pic to be ranked. we can say yes if that makes you feel better though.
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>>26751537
Your dodge means the answer is yes. Congratulations, that's the source of your problem. If you want more you're going to have to hustle.
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>>26751551
I'm glad it made you happy bro
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>>26751558
You're welcome, too bad you won't take my advice, instead you'll wonder why the person who has leverage over you doesn't bend to your whims.
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>>26751573
I didn't say thank you, kek. I would try to brush up on your literacy, maybe people will take your advice if it's not immediately evident you're not aware of the situation you're talking about
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>>26751584
The fact you're afraid of putting numbers on attractiveness means you're ugly. If you were better looking than him you would've broken up. So everything suggests he's a more attractive person than you and likely the best you can do. This doesn't take much reading into.
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>>26751611
That's not in any way a response to what I said - please please please consider an English class. You can clearly do it, your sentences are fairly well set up, you're just really struggling with reading comprehension.
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>>26751658
Interesting dodge strategy let's see if dodging will work for your relationship long term.
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>>26751666
Rich considering again, your previous response had nothing to do with my points and was a full dodge itself. If you had read literally any of this thread, you'd know that this problem has been addressed with my boyfriend softly several times. I'm really really sure that English class will help a lot, I promise.
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>>26750952
>super feminist anti-porn view
Man you really have kept away from most boards huh. It's mostly christfags and self improver incels who push this here.
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>>26751680
Get out of your emotions and think about this logically. If he is the best you can do and you're not the best he can do he has leverage on you which means he's not going to improve for you. I'm not saying this as an insult to you, you have to acknowledge the status of you two. If he's an 8 and you're a 5 or 6 he doesn't have to do what you want. If what I suspect is true then your problem is you've hit the limit of what he'll do for you because he sees you as lesser and KNOWS that you're easily replaceable. And unless I see some picture proof that you're equal or that you're more attractive than him what you're saying is indicative that he's the more attractive partner. These are things you have to consider in relationship dynamics.
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>>26751719
I got on /pol/ and /r9k/, I just assumed the puritans were on those boards for containment a la the nofap movement and such. I used to be on blue boards about a decade ago and they were definitely desperately in love with porn.

>>26751731
Bro are you capable of responding to literally anything I've said? I mean, I said some of that stuff a while ago, but you should respond to that comment if that's what you're talking about. I really don't think it's as difficult as you're showing it to be.
In regards to your unhinged projection about your feelings of self worth being soley focused on how you look, I'm sorry you feel that way. I can assure you I in no way feel like I'm the lesser in the relationship becuase I'm able to admit he's hot as fuck. I understand that some people feel that is how relationship dynamics work, but I'm willing to assume that's because they have nothing other than their looks to offer. Anyone who actually has a full, attractive personality with passions and hobbies doesn't think this way, sorry to break it to you.
>And unless I see some picture proof that you're equal or that you're more attractive than him
Bro please there is so much porn on the internet you do not need my photo. Honestly. I believe in you, you are capable.
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>>26751770
>I can assure you I in no way feel like I'm the lesser in the relationship
Doesn't matter what self-delusions you have Yas Queen Slay.

>I'm able to admit he's hot as fuck
Yup he's better.

>anyone who actually has a full, attractive personality with passions and hobbies doesn't think this way, sorry to break it to you.
This is cope used by ugly fat women. Emphasis on "full" personality. For some reason you think bitchiness is a substitution for looks.

If you think I'm going to get hard looking at a 220 pound woman wearing clothes you're kidding yourself. I can go to Walmart for that.

I'm honestly trying to help now, you need to tone down your ego 2 points and realize that looks are everything, if your boyfriend is hot (which is why you're in a relationship, let's cut the bullshit) and you're not, then if you want a better sex life you're going to need to start putting in the work and blowing his mind. Believe it or not but if you start doing backflips for him he'll probably be more inclined to scratch your back too. But I'll say it again, your relationship is toxic and the only reason why you haven't left is because you're shallow and he's hot.
>>
>>26751809
Bro, our entire conversation has been me telling you to learn to read and you loudly talking about any old assumption that you're capable of making. All you have done is project extremely specific insecurities and issues onto me without any actual basis aside from "you won't show a photo" and "your boyfriend is hot". I'm sorry she hurt you anon, but you can't just push these issues onto other people because you're hurt they're in a place where you thought you were safe from reminders.

Also, you do really need to go to a class to learn how to read a conversation from start to finish without getting it confused, mixed up or, y'know, not attempting to read it at all. Multiple times you spoke to another person believing it to be me, or straight up misread what I had said previously. I get that it can be a hair trigger, these issues can cloud our vision, but that's for you to control bro, not me. You aren't able to gaslight people on their own reality from the internet, no matter how hard you try. I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you, genuinely, but this can be a starting point for you if you let it be.
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>>26751850
Explain to me in detail why what I said is wrong without deflecting and/or dodging. You already admitted your boyfriend is physically hot. You already said you have a full personality and aren't shallow (which means you're ugly). You won't say you yourself are attractive physically so it's obvious you're not. End of discussion, end of thread. The only reason why your boyfriend hasn't broken up with you is because he's lazy just like he's lazy in bed. Words are cheap that's why he uses words on you. Actions speak louder than words, he spends minimal effort sexually on you because you aren't attracted to him. With all your masculine energy it's probably more realistic your boyfriend is fucking men behind your back.
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>>26751895
> and aren't shallow (which means you're ugly)
when did I say this? I'm not explaining in detail where you fucked up because I don't have the time, but you can have this example from this comment. Where did I say I wasn't ugly, or I wasn't shallow? At best, I implied I wasn't worried about my boyfriend being shallow. You are reading into things and projecting your own twists on things, it's weird and cringe.
>you yourself are attractive physically
Yeah, that'd be a weird thing to claim without providing a picture, wouldn't it? I knew you'd go nuts over no photos so there was no point saying I think I'm attractive or you'd start screaming about lying.
>he only reason [...] behind your back.
This is also the very crazy, very specific projection I was talking about. Like you must see how this looks like you're talking about a woman you know and doing your best to make it fit me, right? You've infered I'm masculine because I'm telling you you're wrong. You've guessed a lot of stuff about my boyfriend which, if you read the thread, you would immediately know not to be true.

You're hurting, and I get that, but can't you see how embarrassing this is? That you're trying to convince a person on the other side of a screen that you know more about their life from a 4chan thread that you couldn't even be bothered to read and proudly admitted as much? Bro you could be better than this, if you disconnected from your emotions and actually thought through what it is that you actually know. But you've got your pride wrapped up in this now, your self worth is dictated by whether or not you feel you've successfully dragged me down enough, and you're arguing with someone who's problem you don't care about, who you don't care for, because...? I'm here for advice, this is my thread you're bumping, you're here for your ego and you've gotta see that, man. There's genuinely no hope if you can't.
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>>26752000
>without deflecting and/or dodging
Yeah you sound like a psycho. I'm out and your relationship is already dead.
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>>26752006
Oh wow, but I explicitly gave you an example that you ran from. That's embarrassing mate, I too would probably leave. At least 4chan is anonymous for you.
>>
OP why are you picking up fights with dudes who have obviously never had a relationship with a woman. Youre replying to actual gremlins I wanted to come to this thread to seek advice and hide the usual incels but you keep responding to wordy school shooter tier essays. These guys dont know how to lose and have insulted you in every way. They have no arguments but youre trying to argue with them. Stop.

As per your frustration. Tease him and send him porn you like. Something to let him know you actually want to try some of that big game. Let a pair of toy handcuffs in his bed, or some rope. Subtle markers to let him know youre kinkehhh. Take the initiative if you want something, girl. Thats the number one thing all girls need to do. Dont expect him to know youre frustrated automatically.
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>>26752331
>porn advice
Real catch here
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>>26752331
Because it's free bumps and I was working from home, it's no skin off my nose. I try to reason with these people because one day long ago some reasoned with me and I was a right twat about it but I went away and thought. Who cares really, I might get more good advice in the process.

Yeah see it's not that he isn't aware of what I want so much as he's quite aware and talks big game but doesn't do it. People keep saying take the initiative but I already have, and he's said he wants to do stuff that I can't really instigate, it's legit all on him for those scenarios. Things like "surprising me", keeping me in place and doing what he wanted to do. Uhhh things like covering my eyes and pinning my wrists, that kind of scene.
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>>26750685
>he suggests / fantasizes about / promises things that when it comes to actually doing stuff he doesn't go towards and it's like the conversation never happened. This has happened a couple of times.
Be specific
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>>26752525
If you're not lying in bed naked with a blindfold on then you didn't try
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>>26751503
>Yeah, yeah, I get that, I'm just like - when?
After dinner? In the morning when you wake up? Really anytime the mood is calm. It's not going to get better unless you address the issue.
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>>26750622
Just ask him to??
>I want X from Person A
>No, I will not simply ask for X from Person A
>Fuck Person A for not giving me X
many such cases
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>>26752525
Tease him about it. Challenge him. Thats how some men learn

>"I got those handcuffs you said you wanted to use last night. Ill bring them over"
Small initiative here and there
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Lmao cringe fake dom
Get a real man and maybe he can watch
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>>26751224
Didn't read, haven't contributed to this thread at all besides skimming the OP enough to know you're the OP. Anyways my point is;

Shut the fuck up, you're annoying.
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>>26750622
Damn my gf couldve written this op. The reason I never act on the things my gf wants me to do is because I dont trust her and know she is anxious. So take from that what you will op.
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>>26750829
>Right, but you seem to be missing the fact that I'm explicitly asking how I approach this in a way that doesn't make him feel like I'm attacking him or wanting him to stop. I thought that was pretty clear from the OP saying those things explicitly.
Quit being a little bitch and tell him to quit being a dumbass. My god, how you kinda people put on pants in the morning without help is beyond me.



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