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If masturbating takes about 40 minutes to reach orgasm, is that a good thing or a bad thing?
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>>26447339
If by Orgasm, you mean When you cum/Ejaculate, that would mean you have great stamina. Usually, most guys last 10-15 minutes or shorter, if they're porn addicts or wankers.

Remember, you can masturbate and orgasm without ejaculating. All you have to do, is separate the orgasm from the ejaculation, and you will acquire a superpower where you can have as many orgasms as you want, and you can last a long time. 40 minutes is pretty lengthy, so If I were you, I'd slow down and appreciate how good you feel every moment o those 40 minutes as opposed to merely just waiting until the very end for the ejaculating to define what orgasms are for you, because you're supposed to feel good the whole time, not just at the very end.
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>>26447339
It's whatever you think.
If you think 40 minutes is too long or short, that's on you.
The more important question is "are you enjoying the experience?"
Because a "long" masturbation session does not equal a long sex session and vice versa.
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>>26447949
Not OP but thank you for sharing your wisdom
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>>26447339
Waste of 39 minutes.
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>>26447962
You're welcome.
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>>26447949
>last 10-15 minutes or shorter, if they're porn addicts or wankers
Lolwut, the opposite is true.
Your body's natural behaviour is to gottacumfast because there is no actual benefit to lasting longer.
Porn addicts are the one who need to beat their salami for over 3 hourse to induce orgasm because they're so desensitized.
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>>26448000
OP here
I've never watched porn in my life, though.
I've fapped using my imagination alone since I was 10.
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>>26448000
>There is no actual benefit to lasting longer
It's called slowing down, and sensuality. Every second of self-pleasuring can be great, if you're willing to expand your definition of what is pleasuring and appreciate the errotic sensations you feel from the moment you're arroused onward. If the moment you cum/ejaculate is the only time you feel good when you're masturbating or having sex, then you might be the one who is actually desensitized, because it should be sensational arrousals for even the lightest of touches.
>Your body's natural behavior is to gottacum fast
Only an unconscious fool would believe such a notion, that the only thing enjoyable about sex/masturbation is the final moment. All of it is enjoyable, especially when you're able to enjoy it for long periods of time. You'd build up to 15 to 30, to an hour, to 2 hours, to 3 hours or even more if you're wild enough.

The point is, when you're conscious of your ability to orgasm as many times as you desire to without the need to rush to ejaculate/climax, the ejaculation is as a result merely just the final step of the process.

And to add to that, When you ejaculate, you release a lot of your energy. In Taoist circles, they call it, your Chi. And by climaxing every time you masturbate or have sex, you're cultivating your sexual energy, or chi.

This is what semen retention is, where you masturbate without the need to ejaculate for an extended period of time in order to still enjoy masturbating, without lowering your energy levels. When you space it out, you're less likely to feel tired and groggy after sex/masturbation.

Though, I would not recommend doing this for long periods of time. 5-7 days is a proper time to wait until climaxing after the last time you have done so. That is if you're in your 20s. For Each Decade after, you add an extra 4 days to account for your age. So That would be as follows:

20-5
30-9
40-13
50-17
60-21
70-24
And So on.
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>>26448107
>I've Fapped using my imagination alone since I was 10
That's what you're supposed to do. Your imagination provides better than any woman or porn clip could ever try to accomplish.
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>>26448107
youre gay and afraight of porn
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>>26447339
My boyfriend lasts around 2 minutes max when I give him a handie. I can make him cum in under 30 seconds when I give him a blowie. When he penetrates me, he lasts less than 2 minutes. Is this bad? I love having sex with him, and I love him, but I can tell he is insecure about not lasting longer.
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>>26448267
>Not watching porn makes you gay
That's pretty retarded of you anon, since watching porn is pretty much the gayest thing you can do with your life, other than actually going gay.

You're literally watching guys bang other girls, Dicks and all, unless you're watching girls doing solo stuff, or lesbians. That's not only being gay, that's cuckold territory too!

It's better to stick to one's imagination, because there, you get to live in the wish fulfilled, and live out the fantasies you want fully. You're not limited by the bounds of any physical medium, such as the internet, or video clips, or pictures. Your imagination is infinite, and beyond all of these things.
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>>26448276
You need to consider the power and speed of these handjobs and blowjobs, as well as when you penetrate. It needs to be guaged, because what's probably happening with you guys is you're going full throttle, with the fastest speed, and the most powerful thrusts.

If you want to last lower, slow down, and learn to be WAY MORE sensual with your experiences of providing pleasure to your partner. Do that correctly, and he'll last longer, and you'll enjoy the sex you have with him more. Simple as that.
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>>26448329
*longer
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>>26448307
imagine jacking off for a decade not watching porn once
mate u simply are dumb as fuck
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>>26448349
>Waah, you're dumb because you don't watch porn
Thank you, you have made my day, I haven't laughed this hard in a long time.
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>>26448349
I haven't posted since >>26448107 but lol at "a decade," I turned 10 in 1997
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>>26448329
I do slow down. I want him to enjoy it as long as possible, and we love to pleasure each other. No matter who is in control, and how slow we take it, he always finishes fast. Sometimes he'll even cum as soon as he enters me, or as soon as I put my lips or tongue on his penis. He gets hard really fast, even holding his hand will get him hard and throbbing.
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>>26448383
yes and ? a decade is 10 years
it 2022 right now if u didnt now
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>>26448329
>>26448409
Also, the first time we made out, he ejaculated in his underwear without either of us touching his penis.
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>>26448502
Yes I'm aware thank you, "a decade" makes it sound like it's only been 10 years rather than 25
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>>26448409
>>26448512
Dang, he's pretty sensitive. If you're the only person who thinks he's not enjoying himself, and he hasn't made a big deal about it, I think you should keep on doing what you do best. I think I'd be all over a man who came in my very presence or touch.
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>>26447339
I can edge and go for 4 hours without losing boner. My balls then hurt extremely aftewards
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>>26448593
He's very very sensitive down there. He always seems a little embarrassed and ashamed when he cums really fast. There was a period when he would avoid having sex because of that. I thunk he doesn't say anything because he doesn't want me to think he's insecure about it, but sometimes he'll say things or act in ways that I can tell he is insecure. I obviously feel loved and like a goddess because I can make him cum so fast, but I don't like how he feels about it. I honestly love having sex with him and enjoying each others bodies, but there is a small part of me that wishes I could ride him for more than 2 minutes before he cums. At the same time, I hate that part of me wishes that and it makes me feel like a slut.
I think it's a combination of physical and mental issues. He'll even spontaneously ejaculate while he is giving me oral, without touching himself at all sometimes.
I love him more than anything in the world, and he loves me in the same way. This is definitely not something that I would ever break up with him over. I think his enjoyment of sex is diminished because he doesn't last very long, and I want to help him.
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>>26448673
I admire your dedication to your partner.

Experimenting is extremely important for this kind of reason. Perhaps there is a way he has yet to try that would allow him to last longer and feel like a new man.

Maybe introduce him to semen retention. If he were to masturbate and learn to separate the orgasm from the ejaculation, perhaps he would consciously be able to last longer, becoming more aware of his true limits and feelings.
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>>26448673
Doc Johnson prolongng delay spray for men.

Look it up, little green bottle, bout 9-10 minutes of wait time, numbs any part that may be sensitive. It just works.
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>>26448860
prolonging*
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>>26448860
We've tried stuff like that. Those come with their own problems that make it a little impractical. Also, if I was trying to get pregnant, I wouldn't want that during conception because it might mess up our baby.
Sometimes pills or herbal supplements work, but we do'nt want to be reliant on them, and some of those pills come with side affects or addiction issues.
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>>26448673
if he's literally cumming without being touched there's a good chance it's mental/anxiety getting him overexcited so he cums (especially if he's aware and embarrassed at it). If he was a virgin or close to it he might get more comfortable as he has more sex but if not he's just gonna have to work on relaxing
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>>26449024
He's had girlfriends and sexual relations with other girls in the past. We've been together for almost 2 years, and he has barely been able to increase how long he can last. He is comfortable around me, but I'm not sure if this is in his head, or a result of something physical (maybe a botched circumscision left his nerves sensitive or something? His penis looks normal).
Do you think its because he thinks he's small down there? His penis is average sized, but I can see how men with average sized penises could feel they are small because of the internet. It feels so good when he's inside me, his shape and size are perfect for me. I don't know how to help him.
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>>26449024
>>26449062
Also, I read somewhere that because the idea of failing at sex might get to him, it creates a cycle where his body might just force him to cum as fast as possible to take sex out of the equation and remove the source of anxiety entirely.
Sometimes I play with him after he cums a few times to get him hard again, and I can tell he doesn't like it sometimes. He's implied its because I'm giving him a "second chance", but he knows it will just end with him cumming fast again. He can stay hard for the first 2 or 3 ejaculations, but unlike most guys, his first ejaculation is his longest lasting. After that, he cums extra fast, maybe bc his muscles are primed to shoot after the first shot.
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>>26448957
Well, it works for me, just saying. And I'm pretty sensitive too, usually. Another thing that works great too, are cock pumps. They numb most of the senstiive parts too (bout 11-12mins of wait time for full effect). Though they can have the opposite effect and make an already sore area more sensitive. Both the pump and the spray in conjunction work great though. Just throwing things ot there. There's always a doctor, they have treatments for it now, injections even.
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>>26449099
Pumps? Like one of those bathmate things? I don't have an issue with his size at all (although he might). If there were a way to reduce the feeling in his penis without other long term harm or other health effects to his penis or the rest of him, I'd be willing to talk him into trying.
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>>26449062
If he had a botched circumcision I doubt he'd be cumming at all lol
Anyway from what you're describing he's clearly anxious and insecure about sex and that's inevitably going to make any problem worse if not be the root cause. So dealing with that is probably the first priority, though i have no suggestions.
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>>26449129
I mean like this.

https://www.aliexpress.com/i/4000032511199.html

Yes, it does increase size, but that's a bonus really in your case, the numbing effect happens as well. It forces fat into the glans so it decreses sensitivity there. Might be a bit weird to him though, but hey, it's an option on the table. I dunno, he may find it offensive to even suggest such a thing, so,might be something you suggest lightly (?) Don't wanna cripple things between you two.
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>>26449176
I honestly think its both. I feel like his penis is physically very sensitive as well, which feeds into any anxiety he may feel. How do I get his penis to a point where it will help his anxiety?
>>26449210
I don't want him to think I bought it for him because of his size. I also don't want to make him feel like his premature ejaculation is a huge issue to me by suggesting using one of those to me.I also know he's going to think its weird and possibly get more insecure if he has to pump his penis before we have sex. He just wants to feel normal... he doesn't even really like it when I play with his flaccid penis because he's small when soft (major grower not shower)
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>>26449465
welp, he can always see a doctor, no big deal. Lots of guys going through it, not every human body is built the same.
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>>26449537
I don't want him thinking that this is a huge issue. What if I tell him he should go see a doctor, and he gets insecure or gets bad ideas about me feeling like its such a major issue he needs medical treatment? I don't want to hurt him... he's so sweet and loves me so much.
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>>26447958
This, masturbation's a one player game. Are you having fun playing? Then no worries.
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>>26449554
Well shit.. I mean honestly, it would probably he easier if he had a brother or dad to talk to him about it, in a casual way. But what can I tell you, if this is the sort of thing that weakens your relationship as a couple, instead of bringing you guys closer, than it's a sign that insecurity is winning, or it's a sign that you have huge respect for each other, which is awesome, or both, which is just being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Perhaps the spray thing would be less disrespectful? I'm honestly all out of suggestions. : l
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>>26449600
I want it more for him than for me. We love each other very deeply. We spend a lot of our free time just cuddling and holding each other.
We've used the spray before, but the first time I showed it to him, he looked really really sad and hurt and asked me if he was "that bad". I felt horrible about it, and even when I talked it over with him, the issues about the spray being messy and taking time to apply made it almost impractical.
For a while, he was taking pills and some herbal opiods to help him, and it worked. But those left him tired, and had other side effects so I made him stop taking them.
Is this something I should just ignore? I do wish he lasted a little longer, but its more of a minor inconvenience to me. I just want to help him feel good about himself. I think a part of him thinks ill cheat on him.
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>>26448000
You cum more if you take longer, virgin.
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>>26449709
Well, if you love each other, cheating is out of the question of course.

I mean I can see how he'd feel that way once the spray thing came up. It really is a sad situation. Because until he can admit to himself that it's an issue worth addressing seriously to improve things, then the ball is mostly on your coort.

But there again, those are the only options that I would try. Doctor being the more respectable approach. However, everything I suggested absolutely works. And this spray I suggested is not the greasy kind, like the ky brand kind (greasy).

I guess, just work on communicating more and being more open about this stuff? Just comfort him and show him that you love him, care about him, and that you're only bringing it up to improve things with him and him alone. Might be a gradual thing to address, but if you feel it's worth it, I don't see whyR4 not.
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>>26449793
The thing is that he clearly thinks its an issue. He's the one that got pills and for a while he was trying to hide them from me until I found his stash and told him it was ok. He knows he can share anything with me, but he doesn't want to share that.
I feel bad, because I think he feels like I'm mocking him when I tell him how much I enjoy being intimate with him. I guess he just has a genuinely hard time believing me since its something he "hates himself" for. (His words). I don't want to put any pressure on him, it might make his premature ejaculation worse.
Is it bad/does it make it worse that I sometimes "put him to bed" when I have friends visiting by taking him to my bed and giving him a quick blowie or handle since I know he'll feel good, finish quick, and then I can get back to entertaining my friends? Tbh, I would rather just stay with him, but I do have to fulfill my obligations to my friends and he gets tired and I don't want to force him to stay up and hang out with us.
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>>26449879
Look, this is only my personal opinion and most people would point at me and call me incel for it. But I personally don't care for extra close friends, I prefer my life as simple as possible. I don't use facebook or twitter or any of that garbage. I did have lots of friends at church before but I no longer go there. I care about people and want the best for them, but realistically, most people get in the way of the more important relationships in life, like family, and a serious relationship like yours.

That said, some people need the external input to feel human, or at the very least 1 or 2 ppl they chat with now n then, coworkers, etc. As long as it isn't guy friends I'd be okay with it. I dunno that I'm the ideal candidate for advice in that department, I've been betrayed or ignored by far too many "friends".

I do wish you the best though. C ya, off to work.



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