[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vm / vmg / vr / vrpg / vst / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip / qa] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / pw / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / vt / wsg / wsr / x / xs] [Settings] [Search] [Mobile] [Home]
Board
Settings Mobile Home
/adv/ - Advice

[Advertise on 4chan]


Thread archived.
You cannot reply anymore.


[Advertise on 4chan]


File: 1641543824734.png (1.21 MB, 1253x705)
1.21 MB
1.21 MB PNG
Is this finally happening to you?
>>
>>25668790
>24
yeah it checks out
>>
>>25668790
>20
Literally feeling like it is said there. Getting genuinely worried now. Will probably look for colleges tommorow. Or so... Maybe. Probably should
>>
>>25668790
No I have a wife, 3 kids, a house, and 2 cars. 4chan is just the only site left with decent discussion of anything.
>>
File: TrollFrown.gif (67 KB, 220x220)
67 KB
67 KB GIF
>>25668790
>18
I'm terrified of this happening to me, i'm doing everything i can to stop it, but time passes so fast i feel like i'm gonna blink and be a 30 year old NEET. I literally learned NOTHING useful in high school, and while i'm studying programming i don't know if my IQ is high enough for that, i'm still skinny even tho i worked out cause there are no gyms where i live so there's no good way to work my biceps. It's gonna be an uphill battle to send my life the right path i'm already so close to a complete failure for my age bro people my age usually learned so much cool stuff they're straight up ready to become a full adult
>>
>>25668916

Bruh you're 18 and this self aware - you can literally turn it all around by 20.

Get back to us at 25.
>>
>>25668790
>29
Pretty much. Sat in a dead end part time job for 8 years that I didn't get until I was 21. No college education and still don't have a driver's license and still live at home. Chronic medical conditions I've always had, no friends, but do have a girlfriend - though I've sunk 10 years into that relationship only for her to change so much that we're no longer compatible. All of my "friends" from high school are either married or have have great careers or both. 4Chan has nothing to do with any of this, it's always been my own lack of motivation, my lack of ambition.
>>25668916
The fact is you're trying anon, and you're still very young. Don't rush to grow up but don't ignore the future and responsibility either. Just do what you need to do to provide for yourself. confidence will come with even the most basic achievements and it'll snowball from there if you don't stop.
>>
>>25668790
It's crazy how I was 18 when I saw that image back in 2015 and I vowed to avoid that. And yet here I am at 24.
I'm trying to correct the ship, I'm in my last year at Uni but fuck me man. Where the fuck did it all go so wrong.
>>
When I was 20 and a loser, I thought I'd definitely have my life sorted out by 30.
I'm 31 and literally nothing has changed in my life.
The only option left is to slowly build up the courage to rid everyone else of my existance. I guess as my escapism routines get more and more stale and ineffective I'll get there eventually.
>>
This was made back in 2014 when 4chan wasn't really a place where you could talk about stuff you couldn't talk about on other sites. 4chan more or less contained the same information other sites had except it allowed us to be more negative during a time where everyone was afraid to say a bad thing about anything at all. I mean the make up of the site is different now. /adv/ is less normalfag than it used to be but every board is extremely normalfag now. It's just not true anymore that 4chan is the cause of all this. Most of what causes this shit is very specific kind of upbringing unique to the male autist that is almost impossible to break out of without making a shitton of painful effort to avoid it. And most of the autists that do become Uncle Normies, too ashamed by their past lives to admit that shit wasn't 100% their fault.
>>
File: 883jjsaduh72.png (376 KB, 666x666)
376 KB
376 KB PNG
>>25668790
>18
No; this isn't happening to me. I have failed so many times in my life that the ideals of becoming "successful" mean nothing to me anymore. Instead, I find comfort from a series of purposeful actions and unintended mental effects that have influenced my existence. I cannot feel loneliness, so I do not require the companionship of others; I cannot feel boredom, due to entertainment through recalling of memories and simulations of personally non-experienced events and achievements; I cannot feel sadness, as the stimulation of tears and discomfort brings a welcomed variety into my neutral state, which automatically makes me happier and quickly stops me from feeling sad anymore. Almost all feelings can be simulated, almost any desired experience can be created and imagined, almost any information I want can easily be obtained at my library or through other methods, and so I have attained acceptance for what I can easily obtain---I will live my life through the daydreams I can create, and be content regardless. I pity those who have to toil in reality to experience joy, I pity those who concern themselves with the opinions and approval of others, for they actually have to put in effort to feel "full," whereas I can just will it.
>>
>>25668790
No I've always been a normie.
>>
File: 1613530705012.gif (92 KB, 80x80)
92 KB
92 KB GIF
>>25668790
>25
Absolutely checks out. You know that brief bit of existential terror you get once in a while, when you get that little moment of clarity and realize just how bad things really are? You have to seize that fear, amplify it, let if force you to action like a caveman fleeing a burning forest. If you just push it down and let it fester it'll only get worse. Your fear of the abyss has to be greater than your fear of change.

I was lucky and seem to be turning things around in time, but a lot people I know weren't.
>>
>>25669128
Lmao shut up zoomer
>>
>>25669380
I can guaruntee I've been here longer than you.
>>
Huh. I have fun here. Watching streams with /a/ was fun as fuck. Arguments all the time. Humor too.

I'm doing ok too. For a while when I was younger my life might've been described by that picture. My life is ok, though my social life could be better. Trick is to just not give up on goals and to set goals that make your life better.
>>
>>25668790
>26
>neet
Uhh no,not at all. Tf is this?
>>
>22
While I did drop out of college, I'm reapplying pretty soon. I also have moved way past high school both professionally and mindset wise. Still no gf, but I'm getting better at socializing.
These kinds of posts are based on mood for me personally. Right now I'm feeling really down, so it's really getting to me about all the stuff I'm late to, like dating, going to college, socializing and all the other life milestone stuff. I feel like if I were to see that image when I'm feeling happier or more confident in myself, I would just brush it aside as the usual doomer/defeatist/robot stuff. Do you guys act similarly?
>>
>>25669016
>18 in 2015

disgusting zoomer die
>>
File: Vem ca queridinho.png (132 KB, 328x277)
132 KB
132 KB PNG
Both extremes are danger, i go to college when i was 17, my cousin too, let me explain first my situation.
>go to college with 17
>TI
>go to parties, enjoy a lot
>lose the focus
>realize that the course it wasn't all that
>give up just 22 years (yeah, i dislike so much the course that i was failing i several matters)
>just with 22 years i can save money and take a turn in my life

If I could back in time i will for collegue just with 20 years or more and starting work earlier, along 14 or 15.

My cousin now.
>go to collegue with 17
>enjoy A LOT OF pussy he was chad(he is yet)
>27 years
>yet enjoy this life, but tired of this and dependent of parents for all economically speaking
>now
>31, will be 32 this year
>yet dependent of parents economically

Collegue not that's all, but i agree that stay rotting in home without job or alternative course is a bad thing
>>
>>25669692
Based esl anon
>>
>>25668790
I have a job and am pretty talented. But when it comes to women I am even more hopeless than that pic. I wish I could just buy a gf.
>>
>>25669666
Kys fag, been here since I was 13
>>
>>25668790
yes and no, I didnt drop out of uni I just switched my degree but my social life is improving at least
>>
>>25668790
21-23 here.

anons i dont wanna be like this anymore. i dont want to keep disappointing mom and dad.

anons i dont feel so good. i dont feel good at all anons. what do. what do. what do. what do. anons im scared
>>
This place connects me to reality. Cold, bleak, indifferent truths to our existence where the falsehoods of hopefulness and normalcy are put on display to be rightfully mocked.
The condemnation you and I receive from this site represent the most depraved minds you would ever hope to encounter. But their depravity is honesty, and the most truth you could ever trust from another person. Why would anyone need to save face here? Why would anyone need to worry about keeping a job when they say something offensive? Every trolling, every psyop, every use of the word faggot reveals more genuine truth of this world than any enlightened teacher could provide.
It is bitterly frigid, but there is beauty in the purity.
>>
>>25669184
>>25668916
I would literally murder to be your guy's age again.
>>
>>25668790
>doom
Should I just kms?
>>
>>25668790
yeah, I'm almost 33
>>
>>25668790
>26
went to university and for a while it felt like things are looking up before I realized how much bullshit filler I have to deal with and how very few people there give a fuck about anything
eventually the stress got to me and no amount of alcohol could fix my inhibitions so I flunked out
as a NEET I made an effort to improve my diet and exercise daily and my sanity thanks me for it
people bitch about things from time to time but I'm used to them getting hysterical over bullshit since I was a kid so it doesn't impress me anymore
>>
>>25668790

I'm 23 and my life has been on a downward spiral since I was 16
>>
>>25668790
No
>>
>>25668790
No, I have a wife who I’ve been with since we were both 15, I live in a cute old house in a remote seaside village, and we are trying for our first child. 4chan can be extremely frustrating but it’s important to remember that people like those described in OP are the ones who are screaming things like

>Don’t get vaccinated kek!
>I am a crypto millionaire!
>kids with a woman over 16? Tfw dry eggs!

They legitimately are not worth your concern, even your passing notice, because they have failed to launch as humans.
>>
You can still be a normalfag, just go to school
jobs aren't great, if your problem is socializing and girls jobs won't help it even if you graduated
school is what you do to solve socializing issues, work just keeps you away from socializing
>>
>>25668790
>31
No.
I'm not a shining example of normalcy, but I've never been fired, and I have a good relationship with most of my family.
I've had a few relationships with women, nothing amazing, but nothing I would feel ashamed of.
Every day I try to learn and improve. Each morning I exercise, and most days I study something I'm interested in.

I think this website is fine, and I think the posters here are young in a time of great change. Comparing them to previous generations is unlikely to provide any meaningful information.
>>
>>25668790
It happenned to me. 30m.
>>
>>25671497
>vaxtard
>trying for our first child
>trying
Oh no no no no, who’s gonna tell him bros?
>>
>>25671543
Case in point.
>>
>>25668790
Well you can't turn into normalfag just by leaving 4chan. For me it's genetic thing to be different.
>>
>>25670286
True. This place is real, I love it.
>>
>>25671562
this, I was fucked up by a shitty upbringing and always preferred solitude
4chan used to reassure me I'm not alone in this bullshit and be a place to leave my stress behind and have fun but nowadays it's overrun by shitflinging normalfags anyway
>>
>>25668800
Us milloomers are fucked aren't we? What do you say about getting out before 25 and leaving this shit to the zoomers
>>
>>25671543
You have to be 18 to post on this site.
>>
>>25668916
The bar for software engineering really isn't as high as you think it is, you just have to put some effort into it, be willing to look like a retard, and learn from it and you'll be above the majority of people out there. Also no gym isn't an excuse, just do push ups/pullups/chin ups.
>>
>>25668790
yeah en route to suicide
>>
>>25668790
Escaped it at 23, now I have a good job, had multiple gfs, back to school and in my second year in college doing great, but still things aren't good. It's some grass is always greener kind of deal, where you think that if you escape it things will be great, but it's not true, you're simply switching one burden with another. Starting to regret my life as a NEET, I was happier and comfier.
>>
>>25669184
You sound interesting. If I were into men, I would be into you.
>>
>>25668790
I’m turning 21 in 4 months and my life has drastically gotten worse since high school. I was kinda a loser in hs but even more so now.
>>
>21 year old here
Fortunately I am decently smart so I am getting my masters in machine learning and will probably earn 6 figures by the time Im 30.
I am a khhv yet I am above average in terms of looks, I just never attend any social gatherings. At this point I dont really care since my brain is so fried from watching trashy romantic anime and milf porn that anything I could reasonably get in real life would be worth nothing to me.
>>
>30+ doom
it sure does
>>
In all honesty, is it really over once you hit 30 and haven’t done anything since hs?
>>
>>25671938
Where there's a will there's a way.
But I find it hard to find a will in my 30's.
>>
>>25671951
>12 years behind
Is it really? You are 12 years behind everyone else and where all you have is a void of nothing
>>
File: 1641368982913.jpg (56 KB, 447x589)
56 KB
56 KB JPG
>>25671961
I was doing somewhat okay in my 20's as long as I had motivations/hopes/copes/dreams.
Then I turned 30 and it's all gone and I can barely take care of my hygiene. I dunno, I think if you continue to try, you're still running laps around those that don't, like me.
>>
>>25671976
The thing is I lost all my hopes and dreams when I turned 20. I dont know what happened. I mostly just play vidya now with a mountain of laundry on my floor. I have no desire for anything else.
>>
File: spookyface.jpg (20 KB, 129x136)
20 KB
20 KB JPG
Y'all have bought into the pop cultural depiction of success. Why compare yourself to others? That is simply not useful. If you're not in want of money to survive then you are successful. I rejected the way that people around me were going when I was younger because I was interested in a spiritual life, a life of reduced and potentially eliminated suffering.
>>
>>25671984
I just browse this shithole or look out a window nowadays.
Even reading one page of a book a day is a tremendous effort
>>
I just stumbled into a trade and have been making 6 figures since I was a 2nd year apprentice.

Did two years to be a millwright, learned to weld, and found I enjoyed welding more. 6 years Millwright, and now I've branched out to become a pipe welder (amateur fitter) and I'm getting paid fucking huge because I just do shit others can't.

Being some 4chan, socially awkward type will never go away. You simply find ways to adjust and fit into your environment enough that others accept you...

And then you make it through a trial by fire.

I'm 27 now, so who's to say.
>>
I'm last year of HS. I'm doing everything possible to avoid becoming op pic.
>>
>>25672000
at least you got some sick trips my dude poggers pogchamp
>>
>>25672010
Fucking leave this place now. I’m 20 and I pretty much fucked up everything after hs.
>>
>>25672001
>Being some 4chan, socially awkward type will never go away
>mid-late 20s
Are you saying that by then your personality won’t change at all really?
>>
>>25668790
Basically, except i had a brief spell of being a normalfag living with a gf. But I ruined that by being a depressed asshole who committed domestic violence.

Now I have a personality disorder diagnosis, I'm back to doom posting like when I was younger and I'm nearly 30. I've accepted it's all over and I'm just waiting to die.
>>
File: Corporate Feudalism.jpg (307 KB, 1200x1000)
307 KB
307 KB JPG
>>25668790
>>25669128
>>25671497
>>25672026
>the only alternative to being a normalfag is completely failing in life
Yeah... no, fuck off with this demoralization posting

There are people out there, especially autists who- no matter what they do- they will never be normal, they will never fit in, because "fitting in" is not a meritocracy, it has nothing to do with your contributions to society or your virtues or your worth as a person: The broke, criminal, drug addict- who happens to be extroverted and charismatic- will always "fit in" more than a dilligent, moral, intelligent autist who painfully worked his ass off to get a good STEM job: Guess who's more likely to not adhere to social norms, to not have normal interests, and to see the faults in society and be utterly disgusted?

There's nothing virtuous about being normal by the standards of a corrupt conniving unmeritocratic society handcrafted by sociopathic Wall Street businessmen to milk as much money out of you as possible. A society that wants you to be fucking obese and rightfully stressed and depressed at your shitty meaningless lives and then sell you SSRIs and adderall other garbage to try to temporarily mitigate the depression and stress and laziness instead of dealing with the core cause.

A society that advertises orgy porgy casual sex and drugs and porn and scrolling social media comparing your life to everyone else and unhealthy food and overpriced trinkets to make you a consumerism addicted "optimistic nihilist" incapable of authentic love and relationships living chasing materialistic high after fucking high inhaling 1000 different unhealthy addictive coom chemicals a day and buying some pointless bullshit made by literal fucking hapless sweatshop slaves in 3rd World Countries whose entire lives are an endless crushing wheel of toil and suffering and you are supposed to conveniently ignore because they're out of sight for you.
>>
>>25672078
A society that wants you to have your brain rotted into complacency through either woke identity politics retardation that solves fucking nothing and just stirs more conflict between people based on traits they were born with including Burn Loot Murder riots that threw entire fucking cities into disarray, destroyed small businesses furthering the wealth gap by crushing honest middle class businessmen and increased tensions between white people and black people tenfold; Or fascist white supremacist extremist futile LARP bullshit that is doomed to fail by the fact that it fails to offer realistic and sane solutions to authoritarianism instead of jumping to another type of authoritarianism and is associated with white supremacist Heil Hitler Sieg Heil nazi nonsense that wants to genocide 90% of the World unprovokedly and thinks whites are somehow simultaneously the master race and yet oppressed brutally with no resistance by jews.

A society that leveraged easily frightened cattle into forcing us to adopt a bunch of mandates and other authoritarian shit because of a fucking flu that is only anything dangerous to already unhealthy and immunologically compromised people; As an excuse to further destroy the middle class' small businesses and create pointless conflict and distraction between civillians while the uber-rich continue to design their hellish transhumanist dystopia where your entire life is controlled by AI algorithms and your genetically engineered social caste with inferior capabilities to their uber-designer babies.

Tell me, is being normal by the standards of this society good? Is being "normal" really the best you're striving for? Do you have no other potential or value as a person? You only want to "become normal"? What the fuck are you thinking? Just be your own goddamn person, act your own values and goals, fuck defeatism, even if you can't do much atleast try to do SOMETHING, it's better than LDARing, you won't regret trying, trust me
>>
>>25672078
This thinking is one of the reasons I've been so depressed all my life.

Yes, I wish I was a normal fag without the emotional regulation problems that have lost me friends, gotten me arrested, lost me my only chance at love and culminated in domestic violence against her. Yes. I would kill to go back in time, fix my shit and be normal. Notmal people are happy.
>>
>>25668790
No. I'm 29, work a shit job, alone, cut ties with all of my friends and family, only pretend to like people and secretly loathe them, have little hope for the future, and you know what?
I feel fucking great.
You assholes serve the purpose of affording me a contrarian perspective on any given thing (well, usually) in a highly conformist world, but I'll never take you schizos seriously anymore than I did when I was 13 and you were moaning and crying at me calling me a moralfag for explaining why pedos should get the rope.
4chan is a benefit so long as you understand it's still mostly full of NPCs
>>
>>25672022
You're never truly static, and you'll change in ways. You can adjust enough to fit in without too much difficulty, but you'll almost always be perceived as weird in my experience.

It depends on your field of work, obviously, but certain traits are somewhat unique to spergs and they're hard to mask. Doesn't mean you can't succeed though... And it doesn't mean you can't be a well-adjusted sperg. That part requires conscious effort for a while because socializing is a skill you must develop.
>>
>>25672132
What even causes spergs in the first place? Are they legitimately autistic or because of an issue in formative years caused them to be that way?
>>
>>25668790
This image falls apart for me around 24-26 but I have had friends who lost their minds because of this.

I'm 27 and live with my parents and we have a great relationship. I told my Mom when I was 18 that I refused to work and while there was some push back at first now they don't care. I've never wanted a GF either, I just want to be left alone for the rest of my life. I don't drink or smoke, not depressed, just refuse to work. I live with my parents and do all the chores for them like fixing the house, cleaning the house, keeping the land clean, or collecting firewood. My parents are lazy themselves so they know if I ever leave they'll have to do this themselves.

Maybe it's different in other places but where I'm from the majority of people I went to school with either became meth heads, criminals, or had an assload of children and live in poverty whilst milking the government. None of my friends or their friends have degrees or careers, they all work dead end jobs making MAX $20/hr.
>>
>>25668790
45 boomer, here.
pretty much the story of my life.
>>
I'm 30 and have a degree and good job but I'm still miserable and suicidal. I'm still a virgin loner who's afraid to leave the house or try anything. I'm afraid of people and try to avoid going outside as much as I possibly can. I don't really give a fuck about hobbies and I don't even know why I keep living
>>
File: computer.jpg (80 KB, 800x717)
80 KB
80 KB JPG
>>25672078
>>25672083
based
>>
>>25672159
Why are you this way
>>
File: 1463609589440.png (606 KB, 640x640)
606 KB
606 KB PNG
>>25668790
>27

There are truths to this post and there are not. The guy is basically explaining what it is like if you do not somehow teach yourself how to think differently. There is such a thing as a 'late bloomer', and you can honestly find love up until like 40 (especially for men, women are fucked. We date younger they date older).

The only truth of this post underlies in the fact that as you get older as a NEET, your mind will form negativity as a more solid coping mechanism, a limiter in your brain. Think of his words as a train. You can get off at platforms along the way, and you can then become a 'normie', or become 'happy', but you have to get off at a platform. Basically the older you get the more adversity you will have to deal with to get off of the NEET train and on to Platform Happy.

I am a 27 y/o dude, no gf but date regularly, on a Masters degree, living with good friends, have a good friendship circle and a good family.
>>
>>25668790
No, but I know someone who's halfway there, and I don't think I can do anything to stop him.
>>
>>25672168
Mental illness
>>
>>25671497
>>25672078
But I’m literally a stem autist, I’m not some rich 6’5 Chad. There’s a difference between being an autist and being an intolerable dirty loser.
>>
>>25672099
“Normal people” work hard to improve themselves and work hard to regulate their failings. They only seem normal to you because they succeeded in doing so. They don’t have these EZPZ lives and sunny dispositions you think they have.
>>
>>25672249
I disagree. There are some dumb as fuck people but are still normies with little to no effort.
>>
>>25672249
Yeah but they don't have mental illnesses.

But I agree with you. If I had worked on my mental health, kept a job and tried harder I wouldn't have lost my ex and my happiness with her.

It doesn't matter i already fucked my life up when I lost her.
>>
>>25668790
Blaming problems on 4chan is retarded
>>
>21
Dumped my ex 4 months ago after she cheated and will probably get my degree this year. I have 0 trust in women and I’m almost 100% I will not marry anyone before I’m 30. My life is probably already over.
>>
File: Guts at Sea.png (814 KB, 889x807)
814 KB
814 KB PNG
>>25672099
>Yes, I wish I was a normal fag without the emotional regulation problems that have lost me friends, gotten me arrested, lost me my only chance at love and culminated in domestic violence against her. Yes. I would kill to go back in time, fix my shit and be normal.

>Normal people are happy.
You'd be surprised how many of them aren't, and are really just coping with the way they live because they know no alternative. Why do you think normalfags nowadays are so riddled with addictions like drugs, videogames, so much stress eating that half of them are obese, escapist media, porn and casual sex? It's because normalfags are chronically stressed and depressed and want to escape their lives: Where they're driven not by any ambitions, sense of purpose or moral values... but by desperate attempts to not be judged by their peers; To chase hedonistic high after hedonistic high (Which is both a meaningless unfulfilling existence and also triggers the Hedonic Treadmill where eventually no pleasure is intense enough to keep them satisfied); To get pussy, ANY pussy, with an intense self-destructive willingness to be exploited and humiliated by whores to get it; To wageslave more intensely than they need to, to make extra money, for literally no reason other than to consoom pointless garbage with that extra money.

Once you get this through your head, i can only hope you feel less bad or inferior about your life, fren, you're not alone and you're not worthless. The mere fact you recognize there's something wrong with you, that you need to change, can be used to leverage yourself into a new person over time.

I recommend you read "Atomic Habits" to aid with productivity. And while he can be a tough read, Dostoevsky's psychological depth to his characters and their suffering and their inner turmoil and how (some of them) solve their issues will undoubtedly speak in a very real way to you (He's considered one of the greatest writers of all time, just give him a shot)
>>
>>25672278
I've read Dostoevsky. My last few years are crime and punishment: I committed a grave crime and the guilt follows me everywhere.

One moment of rage and my life is destroyed forever.
>>
27 yo here. There's some truth to it. But don't beat yourself up for not doing as well as you think you could because even normies have this feeling as well. We'll always feel like we're missing out on something. You can always work towards your objectives at any point in your life. Don't overthink and don't wallow in misery. Just get up and do what you have to do everyday, and the next thing you know you got a job, or you moved out of your parents' house, or finished your degree. Unless you're physically limited or in jail, nothing can stop you from getting what you want from life.
>>
>>25672249
there's no objective way to quantify "hard work", some people are slackers and get away with a nice salary while others bust their ass and deal with constant abuse to have pennies thrown at them
>>
25 sort of accurate. But I see absolutely 0 fulfillment in participating in the rat race of """"careers"""" because a workaholic society is aids and wont give your life meaning it'll distract you from your own disappointment. Going to the gym, learning a new language and learning martial arts has been far more fulfilling to me and the next step I could possibly want is simply a house to call mine.
>>
>>25671551
could also be that rona made us all realize we hate each other
>>
>>25672288
Unfortunately, i can't speak on clinging to an ex or being arrested, but

Firstly, no offense, but, have you analyzed your ex's behavior and made sure it was not manipulation that led you to being pissed at her? Because insidious tactics like love-bombing can be hard to notice in the heat of the moment. Look up things like BPD, it may help you see her in a different light, depending on what kind of relationship you really had. Not saying it necessarily was that, just a disclaimer.

Second, there are some fucked up things i did to other kids when i was really young and filled with nothing but rage and fear, and to stop being haunted by them for the longest time was very difficult. Until i put into perspective that clinging to guilt is nothing but poison; As long as you've already reached the point of deeply, sincerely regretting it and not wanting to do it again. What we perceive as "redemption" is really more difficult inside your head than it is in reality, as in, it's not the redeeming yourself that's the most difficult part, it's convincing yourself that it's really happened in order to make something good out of it. Because trust can be a frightening thing, but you can atleast make trusting yourself less so by reevaluating and realizing that beating yourself up over a crime that's already irreversible is only an obstacle in compensating for said crime. Your conscience is your own justice system, so do you want it to be punitive, or do you want it to be rehabilitative?

Pick a moment of calm and think about what inside your head drove you to assault her, where did that come from, what's causing it? Better understand your enemy, think about how it's distorting your judgement. Look it up anywhere for people with similar roots to their issues, and how they overcame that turmoil, assimilate their ideas little by little.
>>
>>25672362
She wasn't the one with the personality disorder, I was. I just didn't know until after she left me.

Is redemption even a real thing? I'm not convinced.
>>
>>25672362
>Your conscience is your own justice system, so do you want it to be punitive, or do you want it to be rehabilitative?
Nta but I feel like people expect you to be punitive to yourself. Nobody actually has sympathy for you and in many cases, they’d rather see you suffer rather than get better.
>>
>>25672367
>Is redemption even a real thing? I'm not convinced.
Again, its perceived difficulty or "impossibility" has more to do with trust than the process in-of-itself of regretting and avoiding your past reprehensible behavior being truly too difficult to bother or "impossible".

Externally speaking, of course, trusting someone like that can be dangerous, it's hard to tell if they're genuine, and so most people won't bother with it. I don't blame them for it, but it is what it is.

Internally speaking, it's difficult to trust yourself again even if you've genuinely fixed the core issue, because you are your own harshest critic.

But despite this, looking at it sober from self-hate, it's clear that the proposition that becoming a better person is too crazy difficult to bother or impossible is ridiculous. As it would imply that you have to be simply "born good", that the only way to stay good is to be inhumanly perfect and never ever have a moment where you fuck up, and that every single person who ever had something to be guilty over (so like what, 99% of everyone?) is fatalistically bound to keep repeating their behavior from that worst moment. No great psychologist, or neuroscientist, or role model, will tell you that human beings are so static and doomed to failure will they?
>>
>>25672447
There are different degrees of things to be guilty over. It seems that the process of redemption is indistinguishable from my current situation anyway. Either way I die alone, guilty and unhappy
>>
File: 195894358934553.jpg (26 KB, 493x283)
26 KB
26 KB JPG
29 reporting in.
Just waiting for the suicide pods to be readily available in my area.
>>
Nah, I ain't bitch made
>>
>>25668909
Yeah this is pretty much it for me. I'm not as normie as you, but I do have my degrees, long term loyal gf, place of my own, and a comfy wfh job. 4ch is the only website from my youth that hasn't gone web 2.0
>>
>>25668790
old people problems
>>
>>25672464
>There are different degrees of things to be guilty over.
You're absolutely right, but somehow i doubt you beating your ex alone exceeds or even compares little kid me's relentless physical and psychological bullying. It was simply more drawn out, more thoughtless and impulsive, and targeting more people

You can say i'm still a bad person, and you know what, you could be right for all i know, but trying to do something about that still proved better than nothing but clinging to self-hatred, at absolute worst i'm atleast less bad of a person than i used to be

>It seems that the process of redemption is indistinguishable from my current situation anyway. Either way I die alone, guilty and unhappy
Indistinguishable? One is much more active, it's far from indistinguishable

Either way dying guilty, alone and unhappy? No, the whole point is avoiding that. Fatalism is a self-fulfilling prophecy, you know that?
>>
>>25672519
You were a little kid. It's completely different, and if you haven't left that shit in the past you should.

>one is far more active
What's the point in activity if I feel miserable anyway? None of the things I want out of life are possible now.
>>
>>25672538
>You were a little kid. It's completely different
Young or old, there is no arbitrary age cutoff that is a big deal; What really matters is that you have self-awareness and keep going, listen to advice, aim to be a sliver better than the you from yesterday until it adds up. This is why some kids never develop and grow into manchildren, this is why some adults drastically change.

>, and if you haven't left that shit in the past you should.
With everything i've said so far taken into account, i'd recommend the exact same to you, that's one of the first steps anyways

>What's the point in activity if I feel miserable anyway? None of the things I want out of life are possible now.
I can't comment too much on the truth value of that, i don't know the details. But the fact you're even having this conversation atleast indicates, deep down, some hope, to me atleast.
>>
>>25672579
If by hope you mean regret and wish to never do it again, sure.

But there's still the fact I'll never love anyone again. Can't love someone else while still in love with my ex.
>>
File: BPD i'm an Empath.png (15 KB, 550x488)
15 KB
15 KB PNG
>>25672585
>But there's still the fact I'll never love anyone again. Can't love someone else while still in love with my ex.
...that sounds like limerence to me

Are you SURE she did not psychologically abuse you? Really really sure?

You for some unspecified reason got pissed and decided to assault her, felt complete devastation and guilt after not having her anymore, and now that she's not with you you feel like "you can't love anyone again"... rings some bells to me... of limerence, of tricking you into being completely dependent on her, and of BPD-esque lovebombing, not genuine love. Watching my older cousin become so demoralized after being left by some stereotypical looking wench really taught me a thing or two about Bitch Personality Disorder and how it can fuck up an unlucky victim.

But even if she really was just so good, and you fucked up without her pushing you in that direction through manipulative tactics. Then that would mean the fact you got such a good girlfriend in the first place means you have/had enough going for you as a person to do that. And therefore have it in you to come back to something similar, no... superior. You really just have to take the first step in the right direction, one way or another
>>
>>25672668
Even if that's true, it's actually a treatable/curable condition it's more of a mindset, not really something innate to you; And you already recognize it and feel bad for it which puts you above the rest, you just have to be willing, genuinely willing, to make an effort. Is there decent therapy in your country?
>>
>>25672703
Yeah I tried Therapy for a while. The mood swings are managed now but the urge to kill myself isn't.

Maybe I should just accept things this way. Ty for talking to me, anon.
>>
File: Guts Thumbs.jpg (13 KB, 272x153)
13 KB
13 KB JPG
>>25672712
>Maybe I should just accept things this way
Accept what, the urge to kill yourself?
Hey, you admit you tangibly improved bro, so no reason to stop now
>>
>>25672756
She's still gone and there's still no hope. I'm back to being a doom posting neet like I was before I met her, this time with the knowledge I deserve it.
>>
Straight up truth right hereI’ve given up trying to help with advice here as an occasional Saturday morning thing. It’s the same sorry ass story over and over. The solution is to get the fuck off all media, get out in the real world. Get a job in the trades and FFS stay off your phones while on the job site. Get a union job and become a journeyman and you’ll make way fucking more than most of your post doctorate friends while accumulating a retirement fund and having top notch medical insurance, vacation time etc.. Shit, I build bio research labs and I make more than the damn scientist working there. Get outta here and get into life!
>>
>>25668790
>38
This place brings out the worst in me. I look down on so many of the people here but I'm just as much of a bully as they are. And I don't want to be a bully. It's pathetic. I'm ashamed of myself.
Coming here, more often than not, just makes me angry. It really is the worst possible waste of time I can think of.

Do something else.
>>
>>25670521
Same. I would legit give up every penny I have(212k) to get a do-over. I just turned 30.
>>
>>25668909
I have wonder wife,
I have powerful job
>>
>>25672800
Nta
Same, anon. Same.
>>
Guys. Let's do something with this.
>>
>>25668790

34 yrs old here. This simply isn't the case of how things work. It is if you feel compelled to follow what I call "the template", but the template is some kind of weird predetermined schedule pulled out of the ass of whoever's the fuck.

To start, let's say your 25 years old. Let's say by this time, you have everything you think you should have. A wife, a career, a house, and maybe a kid.

Now what?

You still have another 55 years (roughly), to go. So what, your done now? Your content with paying of the same mortgage, fucking with the same woman, doing the same job, following the same routine, for 55 years? Good luck finding time for a new passion when you have no time or energy after busting your ass everyday. Good luck having the energy and enthusiasm to fuck your wife who you've already fucked 1000 times. Oh, and what if you come to find that you dont love her anymore? Now you gotta come home from a job that exhausts you, to a woman you resent, stuck in a cycle because now you need to pay of this mortage that your chained to. Never mind the fact that 50%+ of marriages end in divorce.

I'm not saying this to say that all these things are bad, because they aren't. I'm just saying why are people so obsessed with reaching these things asap. If life is a race (it isnt), then why would you rush to get to the end while your still in the first 3rd, so that you can what? Stand around at the finish line for 50+ years with your dick in your hand? It's not how fast you run the race, it's the style of how you run it.

Knowing who I am now, had I rushed into any of these things I know I would most definitely regretted it. Shit iv spent the last 11 years in two long term relationships that I wish I was never in.
>>
33 year old here.

Well educated, my own appartement, good career, good social circle, good ties with families and parents who are still together. Doing well for myself financially. Went through a couple of long term relationship longest of which was 7,5 years. Also relatively succesful on dating apps and presenting myself on dates. By most accounts most people would probably call me a normalfag here.

Still the pressure of everyone around me pooping out kids and marrying weighs heavy on my mind some days. It's difficult to explain because I didn't really feel it even in my late twenties but now I do. I just wonder alot what am I doing everything for if I can't share it with someone. Especially due to heavily reduced socials contacts because of lockdowns and working from home it's been tough.

Anyway my opinion on 4chan is that yeah theres some really fucked up shit here. And I think the general crab bucket mentality that prevails here (hey our lives sucks, lets just roll over and don't do anything about it) isn't helping anyone. But on the other hand, I've also picked up some hidden gems of advice here along the way. And I've seen discussions been had here, that could never have been had if people weren't anonymous. Still, lets be real, most of what is said here is toxic as fuck. And maybe I should leave.
>>
>>25673022
I'm not sure how strong the crab in the bucket mentality is considering you can leave at any time, but there are a lot of genuinely unfortunate souls here and this is their only place to socialize.
>>
>>25672907
My biggest problem is that everyone suddenly has become married and that people think that ones achieved nothing before 30 are worthless (and they are right).
>>
>>25673131

That's not true at all. There are plenty of people who dont achieve until after 30. Not everyone is setup to succeed or given proper guidance ether.

I know a girl who got married at 21 and had a kid by 22. Shes now divorced working as a retail manager making supervisor salary (not that much above minimum wage.)

I worked a dead end job until going to college at 28. Now I'm 34, in my 3rd year of a new career making good money and realizing I'm not super stoked about it as a profession. Feel like I'm back to square one in terms of making a living.

Do ether of these sound like achievement and success? Do ether of these sound like failure?

If I may ask, what does success or failure look like to you?
>>
>>25668790
i'm in the doom phase. still optimistic desu
>>
>>25673131
plenty of people dont achieve anything until later in life. also finding a mate later in life isnt uncommon either.
>>
File: IMG_20190123_160858172.jpg (137 KB, 958x718)
137 KB
137 KB JPG
>>25668790
Nah
>18 graduated highschool
>19 Join the Navy and get stationed in Hawaii
>21 Get kicked out of the Navy and decide to stay in Hawaii (Still got my benefits since I still got an honorable discharge)
>22 Start college
>26 Finish college with a BBA in Marketing
>27 Now.
Don't really know where to go from here, but I am still much better off than most of the people in my hometown. Thinking about becoming a substitute teacher as an easy day job while I try to figure out what to do.
>>
>>25668916
You can buy some dumbells pretty cheap, thats all you need.
>>
>>25668790
My journey to become a normalfag coincided with everything that happened in the last decade, it was surreal, every time I hit a milestone the world got exponentially more insane, culminating in COVID. Still, got my career in the end and made a good chunk of money from stocks last year.
>>
>>25673199
Is it something you can start your own business with?
>>
>>25668790
No. I've been using this site for almost a decade and I'm fine lol have a good future good friends proud family etc

Ftw still no gf though
>>
>>25674608

Yes, I potentially have the option to both start a studio myself or go into freelancing, but I'm not super passionate about it. I actually want to pursue something in the ballpark of writing/psychology.



Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.