i really like trent reznor and atticus ross. i wish they would make more soundtracks together.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SBNCYkSceU
Have any of y’all did something so shitty that you won’t stop thinking about it and you think about it every night before bed?
>>25661266Yeah, actually years since it happened I think about it every second of every day
>>25661266Everyone has. No one does everything right and everyone, at one point, has acted irredeemably stupid because of human flaw.
i guess you won't fix this because you can't be bothered to try..
I never told anyone irl that my uncle used to sexually abuse me as a kid and now it suddenly keeps hitting me full-force every night. I wished I could forget, it's very embarrassing and gross just thinking about it
I know it’s not healthy to be on here all the time. And sometimes I feel a lot better when I leave my room. But nothing ever actually changes
How do you cope with depression? I have no clue what to do with my life at this point. I can't sleep because of insomnia, most likely caused by antidepressants I'm on, I've 0 motivation to get out of bed and I'm constantly tired. I tried waking up after 8 hours today but felt so exhausted and couldn't even walk so I turned off my alarm and went back to bed only to wake up at 5pm. Thats every day, its been like that for nearly 2 straight year now and it seems to be getting worse despite going to therapy and taking the pills. I tried getting a job but I wasn't motivated by money, didn't even bother waking up in the morning some days and eventually was so sleep deprived I ended up quitting in less than a month after getting the job. Now I'm just sleeping, waking up, hoping today will be better, its not, play vidya, eat, go to bed. Sometimes I don't even want to shower because its too much effort and I just can't be motivated to do anything. Doing nothing is nice, but c'mon, how long can I do this for? its been 2 years now ffs...
>>25661329I'm sorry anon, I feel you, it's the same for me. We should stop coming here
>>25661266Yeah. It was almost two decades ago and I still haven't gotten over it
I dreamt about her last night. It's been two years since we last saw each other and she doesn't even know how I feel about her. I am sad and pathetic. I am sad and pathetic.
>>25661266Yes, and every time I post about it the memory comes back fresh. I am irredeemable and should be dead. I'm alive to suffer the consequences.
I hate being bipolar. I want to pour my pills down the sink. Then what?
>>256613361. Go to your doctor and tell them that you want other antidepressants, these are giving you too many negative side effects 2. Look into ASMR for sleep. It helped me a lot with my sleeping problems.3. Being tired is not just about getting enough sleep, it's also about getting enough vitamines. Make sure you eat more healthy and go outside everyday at least once, even if you just walk around your house once. 4. Also, always go to bed at the same time. Never mix that up. It's a big step in the right direction. 5. Make yourself a list for every day. Start small like "today I will shower", etc. Then you make the tasks harder day by day. But don't make them too hard where you know you won't do it anyway
I hate my father for having autism. Every time my senses register him I wish that he would die quickly. I envy people whose lives are fucked up by normalfag-tier abuse, narcissism, or alcoholism. At least the issues are relatable, intelligible, well-documented, and make for good stories. Their lives are merely horrible, not both horrible and downright bizarre.
I enjoy my schadenfreude a little too much ... Or maybe devine justice does exists.
>>25661408I don't get what you mean. Do you want pity from others? Do you think everyone with disabilities don't get sympathy?
>>25661387Don't do that
>>25661455I don't want pity, and I know no one chooses to have a disability. Doesn't change the fact that when I look at him I get the same feeling I'd get if I saw a pile of maggots in my food. I wouldn't necessarily "hate" the maggots, but I would kill them out of disgust, because I reject having maggots in my food by principle.
There are things I can do and know how to do to improve myself, but getting in shape, lifting weights is like black magic to me, even brain dead retards know how to get shredded but I tried committing to it and I've gotten nowhere with it. I tried changing diets, eating more protein, lifting more, lifting more frequently, lifting less often but more effectively but after years of trial and error I notice no difference. I look the same, I feel the same, and the one time I was sick for a few days and didn't lift, I literally couldn't lift the same again and went for lower weight and now got stuck on that. Even then, I've been doing that for months and notice no difference, can't even lift any heavier than what I already lift and its nothing impressive really. This is just something I was not able to do, ever, no matter how hard I commit, I can never get in shape. The fact that if I do eat more to gain weight it all never goes to my arms either, just my waist and stomach but thats it, so I've nothing to even work on because my arms are skin and bones otherwise. The only way for me to look "in shape" is to actually lose a lot of weight and just be skinny, but I can't maintain that weight for long, especially now that I don't smoke anymore, so its even more work to stay skinny.
i don't understand how you can be so smuglike yeah your tits are pretty big for your body but that face is a disaster and you seem to think being above-average at a video game makes you hot shiti'd fuck you if you didn't seem to think that getting me to do so would be some sort of epic own
Just wish I was good enough for a sweet goth girl
>>25661506>i'd fuck you if you didn't seem to think that getting me to do so would be some sort of epic ownIt's that "girlboss" bullshit at work. They're delusional and think anyone who shows interest in them is completely obsessed, and not just shooting their shot like they are in 12 other DMs.Honestly if they're hot enough I just let it slide.
>>25661266yes it's anxiety, try listening to music in bed.
>>25661329Leaving your room is a start.
>>25661506>>25661519tldr it's mild (and probably very fragile) narcissism
>>25661491Your problem would be solved if you just chose not to loathe yourself and your kind. You know it's not your fault or his that you both are the way you are. Just embrace it, work on your deficiencies, and you'll be fine.
>>25661462Yeah because I’ll unravel and kms
>>25661255Marilyn Manson claims Trent helped him forcibly finger an unwilling victim. Trent denies everything, but still gross.
>>25661408>>normalfag-tier abuse, narcissism, or alcoholismYou really don't anon. No one believes survivors of any abuse of are in denial.
Ever since my family found out I'm depressed and have been going to therapy they've been acting weird around me. I regret telling them, but I was sort of cornered, it just feels like they don't know how to act around me anymore, or they pity me in that weird unspoken way. My friends I don't even want to tell, because some of them have a big mouth and soon everyone else will know. I only told 1 friend, because again, I was cornered and had to, she saw me out on a walk and noticed I've been ignoring texts so she asked me whats up. She's helpful because she gets it, and she knows how hopeless it feels because her husband doesn't get it either, so there is that, but apart from her it just uncomfortable with people knowing and not knowing. As if being depressed wasn't enough...
>>25661559oh I didn't know that. i hope it's not true.
>>25661491>>I'd get if I saw a pile of maggots in my food. I wouldn't necessarily "hate" theI feel that was with alcoholic abuse or pedos.
>>25661578I get how you feel anon. People act awkward because they aren't naturally equipped to deal with depressed people. They might be worried they'll say or do something wrong. Tell your family about triggers and what they can do to help. Reassure them about your progress. It will mean a lot.
>>25661548Okay, you try putting up with a literal tard ruling over your life. Any human is better than a tard.
I just took a huge shit. I feel so much better bros
I have the card to get over you and I think I’m going to use it
ugh just go away already. use the fucking card, jesus christ i don't want a man that can't work for what he wants anyways. such a joke.
I’m not going to work for something you’re not supposed to work for I want love and you can’t give it to me
My parents obsession with college is ruining my life. Or I should say, I am letting my parents ruin my life with their college obsession. Everything points towards the fact that I am not right for college. I hate it, I hate everything about it. If I ever finally graduate I will not feel like it was an acomplishment, I will feel like I wasted all of that time just to avoid a falling out with my parents. I love my parents and want them to be happy, but I don't understand why this is what they want. I have a job that I love, it pays enough to support myself. I don't want a degree and I don't want a stressful career. I have never met anyone at college. The professors are mostly incompetent and I am not learning anything. I am already way past normal college age. This degree is not going to open any doors for me. The rest of my life suffers because of all the time I have to spend on school. I don't have time for a social life. I barely have time to think. I'm not making any progress through school because it's impossible to find courses which fit my schedule and when I do I end up dropping them halfway through because I can't handle all the work + my job + household duties. I live alone btw. Still my parents truly believe college is the most important thing in the world and I can't understand why. College is not important to me. It's strangling me. It's suffocating me. It's making me miserable. I know it shouldn't be this hard. So many people get through it without a care in the world. But my personality is just a complete mismatch for it. I have to find a way out of this labyrinth or I am going to kill myself.
>>25661828>>25661814lmao whats goin on here
maybe cause you're a jackass and never allowed me to apply my love to our situation
I often regret ever re-establishing any relationship at all with my father after more than 10 years of his absence.
Sometimes I feel like God wants me to kill myself
>>25661853Dramaqueen on a powertrip that can’t grow up
LAYING QUIET AND STILL, COMPLEXION AT PEACE WITH DISMAY, BY THE MOONLIGHT BAY,THE BOARDWALK BODY LAY
>>25661224Sick of trying to make friends and some people waltz into my life thinking they're going to text me 24/7 and have this attitude that I should pick up the phone whenever they call. The audacity of people thinking others should drop their entire lives and suddenly cater to them is fucking insane. Funny how this one just got done claiming an annoyance with people who are self-absorbed.
You were convenient for me and I’m terribly lonely so I forced myself to like you and now you aren’t acting like the romanticized version I have of you in my head so you’re demoted back to the friend zone. Even though you didn’t even know you left the friend zone in the first place I just thought I should share.
>>25661914THE NEXT MORNING THEY ALL WHIPSERED ABOUT JANE DOE, IF ALL IMPORTANCE WAS BEING THE FIRST TO KNOW, ANY EVIDENCE WAS TAKEN OUT BY THE TIDE, JUST ANOTHER NIHILIST THAT REAPS HIS CRAFT WITH PRRRIIIIIIIIIIDEEEE
>>25661275>>25661349>>25661373lmao, okay what are in y'alls closets, tell me or don't, maybe I'll feel better if I can imagine It's worse than what I have done
Bruh gimme a break
>>25661585so you don't hate them? why not, society hates them, so why shouldn't you?
>>25661224>friends gf is jaw-droppingly stupid>'let' (forced) my indoor cat outside (got it back with the help of a neighbor)>eats labeled food and doesn't pay bills>she (and my friend) get mad when I say she needs to pay her fair share or DO something to help>got a terrible cough and is obviously sick, politely told her I could get her stuff if she needed (she was coughing over fucking everything and I mean just no cover hacking in the fridge, in the cabinets etc.)>gets mad and says she's not sick, friend and I come down with covid (with me being the sickest now lol) and surprise the dumb bitch has it tooI am not going to apologize for calling your girlfriend a stupid cunt to her face today. I'm glad I don't have much here and can haul it myself. When I'm well I'm going to move out when you're gone. My name is on nothing. Enjoy being high and dry with her (she won't get a job and I was the only person willing to move in here and help you financially lol). We've been friends since childhood but fuck you.
I embellished my experiences to land my first programming job and my manager is starting to catch on.The big boss still likes me but I'm not feeling very confident about skirting around the truth anymore.I am afraid that if I level with them, they'll fire me. I am also afraid that if, I continue lying about my past experience they'll also fire me.
a guy i liked started showing interest in me quite a bit suddenly and then started being wishywashy again and now i kinda want to give up on him again. it's just sad because when he's attentive he's really sweet and we get along really well, we are pretty similar in beliefs but also different enough. but i hate this i just wish he wouldn't jerk me around
I just cant feel anything anymore if it be anger, sadness, happy or a feeling towards another i don't feel anything
>>25661978Do you have the time to learn what you don’t? That is what’s most important in your life right now everything else is secondary
>>25661508Same brother. That's the end-game. All day e'rryday until she loves me or I'm dead. Let's get it.
Why for hells sake why did i turn down that job. It was something that would of paid you better than any job and now look where you are stuck. that job was your dream job.
>>25661913grow up? you're the one talking about using a fucking card to get over someone. you'd think you could just get over them without continuously posting here, considering how grown up you are.
>>25662010It's a student position and I was hired last semester. I rationalized to myself that I could learn enough over the winter break to cover for lying in interviews. But I didn't and now school is starting again next week. I will have to make time on the side to going forward but I'm paying for it dearly.I can feel that my manager's attitude towards me has turned in our interaction and it fills me with such dread and anxiety.
>>25661930don't care, you're low-key just in the closet and i really don't need to deal with that toxic "idk what i want" bullshit. get over yourself
>>25662060That might not be good then because you would want to use that job in your resume, and they do call former employers for feedback if they are serious about you (unless you know someone)
I'll never forget Chad Ginsburg from cKy calling me a "true member of the Alliance", and Deron a couple of weeks ago mentioning that I was a die hard. Not many people get the privilege to be known by their fav band on a first name basis. Shit like that would change peoples lives , and it did mine. There was nothing like being 13 and seeing cKy live and them just fucking kicking ass every show. I had Chad throw me a pick(later, Carver city tour), because he "picked" me out, bad joke, and when he did some dude tried to grab it from me, Chad leans down and gives him this look like he was about to come off the stage and beat his ass. Handed it right over. Yeah, I met Ryan Dunn about 3 times, and remembered me each time. Hung out with the crew, bam, the cKy crew, I couldn't ask for more. I just wish they'd settle the stupid shit.
>>25661930also this is just weird as fuck. why would anyone act like how you played them out in your head? are you that lost in life? dear lord.
>>25661930Ah, look kids, a narcissist!
>>25662073'99-'22, of course I'm a die-hard.
you're just mad that i didn't continue beating your dead horse. try communicating next time maybe and have a nice life in the meantime.
>>25662058it was a figure of speech. And I only post here because i know they come here/have my phone tapped.
>>25662080Forgot to add, I've seen cKy live 14 times.
>>25662087no one has your phone tapped. get mental assistance for yourself please
Tomorrow I’ll get my ass in gear and try to set these people up with their NEETbux and hopefully (budget willing) get that place for them. It’s not very far and there’s a yard for the dog. They keep dragging their feet, these are street people so it’s expected.
>>25662085>communicatingI did. *You* didn’t.
>>25662091K. None of your business anyways, get off your high horse.
>>25662093obviously it's not for you thenotherwise i wouldn't be mad about COMMUNICATION ugh you guys are idiots with who you choose to reply to, LOL
>>25661964D.V against my ex, generally bring an awful bfLashing out at people and friends with shitty words that would be okay on 4chan but are enough to get me cancelled in rlGenerally being a p.o.s
>>25662105i'm not on a high horse, maybe you schizophrenics think that of everyone who advises you to get help tho so whatever lmao.
I’m just questioning how you feel anymore, I’m on the thread of jumping off and insanely as per usual I don’t want to
>>25662089And yes, April and Phil Margera are really nice. April is such a sweetheart, Phil is just some goofy big teddy bear. I talked to Phil for about an half hour one time out in front of the Norva, dude was ignoring people and/or just just "hi" and we just kept talking.
>>25662075he'll never acknowledge how terribly narcissistic he is but it's 100% true.
>>25662117I wubbs u mwahs mwahs <33
>>25662115Should I get over them? Idk. I did love them but they’re so evil
>>25662139But evil in an extremely retarded way
>>25662139not the person you're replying to but yes. this isn't healthy at all you will feel paranoid if you start dating them
>>25662119Oh man, I even remember this. There was a "Jenn Rivell" on the BMMB(bam margera message board) and I didn't think it was her. So one night I log in, and I'm getting messages from her about bam, and how she was going to his house. I didn't think anything of it, and thought "yeah, ok, someone's fucking with me". A day later she was in the West Chester News for trying to break in to Bam's house and I vaguely remember something happening to that blue Audi A4 he had. I started laughing, like she just flat out admitted to me she was going over there. Crazy shit, she's crazy as shit too, she's some bar karaoke singer now and I can't believe I remember that.
>>25662139yes. if it makes you feel the way you are feeling rn and if it feels like you're being tracked by them, definitely try your best to move on as this is only hurting you in the long run.
IF EVERYONE IS NOT SPECIAL, THEN MAYBE YOU CAN BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE.
>>25661828I agree. Both people should work to make the relationship last.
>>25661913No she's in the right. Relationships take work,
>>25661930how about "go away" zone? that would be great..
>>25662260They why can’t they do anything for me
Ahem. Please do not feel guilty. This was probably for the best although it is painful yes. You made the right decision.
>>25661971More like pity and disgusts, mixed with actually nausea. They suffer from a sickness, but at the same time they need to GTFO.
I'm actually so confused
Why would I even feel guilty. They wanted me to be a mr. steal yo girl when he should have been dropped
Spiraling further into the abyss, stress is killing me literally. My hair is still falling out and I'm still fighting this sickness. Fuck my fool life, positive thinking is only stringing me along by threads. That's the way of the world slinks on repeat.
I’m not their ex I actually have a conscience
>>25662085I will without you in it, thanks!
>>25662106its 4chan, what did you expect?
>>25662279Right decision... I can't agree with that.It's just the best decision I can make right now.One day, I'll come for you. We'll have babies. So many babies. Turbo babies. And we'll feed them steroids so they can be big and strong.Until then... we just have to keep on the path.
Nevah was bBitch
>>25662139YES! go live your life
It is not acceptable to keep either of you in pain. And no do not talk about your self that way. You handled this correctly and that is all there is to say. And this latest development will help with the pain of separation and rejection and that is a good tool to have. Anyway. That is all. Be well.
>>25662276maybe incompatibility or wrong time?
>>25662285When you find that you are confused, it means that you believe something that it is untrue. Determine what that is.
>>25662340They’re not compatible with anyone because they’re autistic as fuckAnd it was the wrong time because… idk but god decided to make me the godsend of karma for multiple people in my life. It was the wrong time because they should have never been doing what they were doing.
>>25662362not you again, Mr. Too Autistic. I'm out.
There are hearts no longer beating, entrails spilled upon the floor, that's the way of the world.
I can’t imagine how they feel because I could never do what fucked up things they did, even if they were my greatest desires in the world. Even if I was brain damaged. What will they give for me?
so theres two girls at two different stores that I know would say yes if I just casually asked them out to lunch.my plan is I go to store 1, if she is there I ask, if yes done. If no, store 2. If store 1 girl not there then just go to store 2.Nothing cringey, nothing autistic. Just "hey, you're pretty cute. Want to get lunch sometime?"
>>25662397They are asking me to be evil
2019 was 3 years ago.
>>25662383Amen, brother.It's hard to see all we have sometimes. You never really realize until it's gone.
The memory of you is as a long forgotten peppermint found in one's pocket during a time of crisis. A disappointing half-melted amalgamation of everything that should have been great but never was and never will be again.Thank you for being my pocket candy.
I want someone to beat the living shit out of me as we fight I need physical pain to snap out of this
>>25662462why not just sit in an ice bath or take a cold shower? Same response to the system and no pain.
>>25662453Why should I be evil when they can be good? They know the obvious course but are too cowardly to follow through on it, so I can’t be heartbroken like I was anymore
damn this fakemon fucking sucks, maybe it should've stayed in my head
>>25662484I was joking, Mr. Too autistic Take the used tampon out before you have a bitch fit. Jeez.
Thank you. That means a lot. It did bother me the way you spoke about him. And I think I pulled back too much because I was spooked and maybe a little upset and I hurt her because of that. I apologize one more time for that. Anyway. All will be at peace soon enough.
>>25661224I'm embarrassed being 25 years old and still living with my parents. I'm almost done with my bachelor's in accounting and I'm working towards the goal of being independent, but I wish I would've put my nose to the grindstone earlier so I would've been ahead and not behind.
Can you try to be strong for once pleaseI think it’s better that I stop this
>>25662515you're ahead of so many people its not even funny bro. You're fine, don't worry.t. had same issue, it all worked out
Somebody on discord said kate is a milf.I never thought of it before, But its true.
>>25661976Was pretty much on the same boat. Though he was stupid enough to pay for her so I didn't mind. She didn't work and when she did it wasn't good enough for her, she'd steal too. Then they broke up and he got himself another gf, not as dumb but she was playing him big time. He's just too dense to understand and would always put girls before his friends. I ended up moving out of there because I couldn't stand him and his behavior and attitude towards girls he's with, he turned into such a doormat and it made him so toxic. He was planning on kicking me out of there anyway lol then his gf left him, just as I thought she would, he got himself a 20 year old now, he's 27, again, from what I heard he does shit for her and pays for her college and all that kek what can you do. I also knew him since I was a kid, people change I guess.
>mfw depressed>mfw only get up to do things that give short dopamine hits like vidya, guitar or watching shit>mfw have nothing else to live for>mfw no purpose, nothing to get me out of bed in the morning otherwise>mfw sleep until evening anyway>mfw too tired to even think about doing something to get me out of this loop>mfw
>>25662531waht do you need me to do bro
So this is what living for yourself meansEvery fucking thing can fall on me and I still have the energy to smile
>>25661224I royally fucked things up. All I ever wanted was to be friends, but I was to clingy and too possessive. I drove you away with my meltdown and now it's no wonder you barely talk to me. You seem so happy with everyone else and it's still tearing me apart inside that I can't be part of the group anymore. Even if we did fix our relationship, it'd never be the same again. I don't know why I'm here anymore.>captcha: S8TAN
I'm a retard and I'm getting paid a lot of money to sit around doing not very much rn and I'm in a perpetual state of mild anxiety because I'm afraid someone will catch on to how little I'm doing.
>>25662660whats the job? I want one like that
I've been getting endless rejection for years now. I have a relationship, but nothing else going for me. No job, no opportunities, no hope, no life. When do I kill myself?
Ignoring proper grammar, I would like to say this without preparation. I think I have made an irreversible mistake. For a long time in my life, I've avoided trying new things due to my experience with masturbation---once I learned about how it felt, I always knew what I was missing when I don't experience it. This has been helpful, as I can resist any temptations that come my way. However, I was on /soc/ a few months ago, and decided to post in an Ideal Partner thread for the hell of it, just to see if my ideal person actually existed in real life; it turns out that someone quite close to my ideal does, and it was a very pleasant experience with them. After two months, we split on good terms, for a reason I can't describe because I promised not to tell anybody. One important detail is that I've never felt love for *anybody* prior to meeting this person, I recall purposefully ignoring a few girls in school as I wanted to be alone. Now, due to the thing I mentioned at the beginning of this post about trying new things, I can't help but think about giving and recieving love every day. I have no desire to be together again with my ex, as we had incompatible outlooks on life that would make staying together troublesome, and she's happier now for which I'm glad, but I really want to feel love again. Love gave me a purpose, by caring about that person more than I care about myself, I was able to do so many things with ease. Every time we spoke---hell, every time I thought of her---I just felt so much better, so powerful!I disagree with the saying "it's better to have lost and loved, than to have never loved before," I was much more content with my existence before this experience, and I regret trying something new.
I can’t believe I put my dick inside someone who plays Game of Thrones slots on mobile
Dear J if I ever kill myself I wanted to let you know that you are a great friend to have in my hard times. To bad we don't live closer in the same state or country. I would totally take you out on a date.
>>25662666It's a finance role related to market research. It's very legit and the nature of the job isn't usually to sit around doing nothing. I have a very covert aura though and have somehow slipped any real work that comes my way.I'll probably just bite the bullet, confess I have too little to do and ask for where I can help out.
>>25661224I feel like im broken and things are simply unredeemable for me, like my happiness and fulfillment has a cap on it and itll only get lowerAt what point do you try meds, at what point do you just kill yourself
If I ever run into you again I am just going to tell you to go to church. You will find someone that's good enough for you there
>>25662741jokes on you, I'm behind 10 banishing rituals.
do you ever almost make a wish and take it back?i have more not wishes than wishesi got a candle for manifesting and honestly i'm scared to use it againso much stuff i want but even me, teh fuckin mayor can't just cryztalise the desire to make a wishit's because you don't get to decide what if costs to make that wishit alwyas costs so much
>>25662741i'm down for spiritual hustle
>>25662758why 10? just use a big black candle and carve all the names in.
I like dark souls. Really comfy. I can find myself between the rolls and I can stare at this character’s ass who looks a bit like someone I miss
And WOW the knife. That time you held that knife to your throat and had a complete meltdown? Oh there is something so, *SO* wrong with me to relish those memories. But my God you are so gorgeous in white. The way that robe shaped to your figure... I had never seen a woman have a mental break down like that and it was the sexiest thing I had ever experienced. I am actually surprised I *didn't* rape you that time. Talk about self control! Hah, just kitten. I was actually just really worried and horrified! You had me worried sick and all I could do was hold and pet you until you calmed down.
>>25662754that's offensive to my pagan deities
Its been a week for me...I wish we could all connect and vibe out as a human race. For those of you angry for whatever reason I hope you find peace with those things that anger you. Don't let this world get you down we are only here for so long and tomorrow is a new day and who knows what awaits. I love you guys from the bottom of my heart.
I like watching videos of abandoned homes, but sometimes it gets really depressing. All the picture, the items, all of those memories left to rot. You think too, "Why is this like this? Family got nothing?", and it's such a bummer. Pics of happy times, holidays,birthday parties, accomplishments, family, all rotting. You wonder why it was left, ignored, and laid to waste. The toys, the tv's, the clothes still in the drawers. Maybe it was a death in the family, maybe it was a bank for closure, but seeing what's left after we're gone, there's nothing left but stuff. That's it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Knvb5UhPCeI&t=558s&ab_channel=ExploringwithHunter
I think I'm gonna have to break up with my gal. She's like my first gf, she's 18, I'm 27. Thought it was a little weird at first, but I got over the age difference. She's also very Christian, and I'm not, so we're not doing any sex, but still trying some other stuff. I get her off pretty good, but she's too afraid to try anything other than jerking me of, which she hasn't been able to get me to finish by herself so far. I'm just worried, because I'm kinda being a good influence on her, helping her get her life together and out of depression, and I just worry that it'll destroy her if I cut it off, as she seems almost obsessed with me. She's still trying to figure all her shit out while I've pretty well got my shit together.
>>25662794I also remember seeing a video of a "time capsule" house. The power was even still on but obviously abandoned. One of the guys found a "Christmas 1992" tape and played it on the tv. It was so surreal, depressing, and a bit creepy to see the family enjoying each others company, laughing, opening gifts, grand ma and grandpa, cooking food in the kitchen, laugh and smiling. While the tape had a weird warp after it sitting so long and decaying. Apparently, when they left, they didn't turn it off, just left it on. Fuck, that gets me.
>>25662806I'm not going to lie, the video had the tv playing in silence and echoing through the home got me a bit. You heard them talking, all the happiness, love, and with the background of a decaying home. Fucking depressing.
>>25662764a candle is just a candle until you inscribe it or use oils on it, that special charged candle is just marketing crap. Its safe.
>>256628243 for 3there's orange micah flakes in the middle too that swirl and shiver and help mesermise for intention
>>25662783that's my priestess/lover/cuddle buddy you're talking about.
>>25662831just light it like a regular candle. No intention.
>>25662770>just use a BBCYou know what you're doing but I don't need that in my GF or in my ass.
>>25662857gorgeous, right?easy to get lost
>>25662880y'all this aint a regular candle i'm putting that shit away
>>25661224it is amazing how stupid people are
>>25662880>>25662888That is a nice candle, but its still just a candle. I used reversal candles in blackouts. Nothing happened.
>>25662865wishful thinking ROFL
>>25662909Learn magick, fag.You ain't in it.
>>25662924ok, I'll stick with the white candles like a good wiccan
Father, what would it have taken to be family? I wanted to be good enough.
>>25662946Thank you, maybe one of your sisters may get her usage back.
>>25663051sure, but only after the coven orgy
>>25662764done some blessing rituals and i mean i guess in a way it worked either it was the ritual or modern medicine that got rid of the demons hurting this person ill let you decide which i guess
>>25663078nice choice for the coven lesbian orgy
>>25663074modern medicine. its not real, all psychology really
>>25663074if modern medicine disrupts your connection to the aether what's the difference
>>25663141except for voodoo, hoodoo and native American shamanism, the rest is placebo
>>25663178come on buddy it's all real or none of it isthose just have strong egregoresyou forgot christianity
>>25663193Christianity is against all forms of occult, it's all related to the devil according to the bible,
>>25663204Is Book of Mary canon? I thought I remember reading it and it was agnostic? I could be confusing books here.
Man, another day that I just want to abandon everything I haveI've achieved everything I've wanted since my childhood for a few years now, i'm still young and by all means don't have anywhere else to go now in life.Yet I have moments of insatisfaction, and when they come I can only hope they go away, theres nothing I can do anymore, I just don't feel happy.At this point the only path left is to completely give up my way of life and everything i've achieved and try something retarded or completely new, maybe that will make me feel alive again.
>>25663301i'm not sure,/x/ would know
I want to get over my fear that I will get into trouble or break my devices for rooting or jailbreaking them.Like, as far as I know it's not illegal anyway and I'm already past 2 years so warranties should not be something to worry about.Same with reinstalling my computers with mint and actually interacting with pentesters.Still, I just worry I will be going too far with something with this annoying pussyfooting fear of mine.
Sometimes I think I never came off that noose, and this is actually hell.
I want to love you but I don't want to feel the pain if I fail.
>>25663365I remember it, the chair hitting the ground, the drop. I sat and just swung, when shit got weird it became unraveled. Maybe it didn't, but it did. Instead of going to hell, I'm living one.
>>25663351To add insult to injury I work in IT. And I feel like I pussyfoot too much.I also want to speak less fearfully but I worry that I might irreversibly hurt someone or cause them to an hero.And I'm always late for everything and torschlusspanik is kicking my ass and I'm 27.At least I got a decent paying job though.
Forcing yourself to be the taboo or anti of every situation there is doesn't make you look cool it just makes you look like an oppositional idiot who is missing out on the great things in life by forcing themselves to be defiant. It's like you have a no trespassing sign so they directly go into the place to show they have balls. They then end up getting ripped to shreds by the guard dog there. Next they come back whining about the dog and the owner. Common shit I see now. You might as well write dumbass on their forehead and they wouldn't see it.
This is gonna sound pretty tinfoil and /x/ but here goes: there's been some kind of shift in people's demeanors within the last few weeks. People just seem nastier and more vindictive. If we don't do our part to combat the demons inside and be kinder to one another we're surely damned. I'm sure it's easy to dismiss this kind of thing, but how long can everyone go being cunty and miserable to each other before the whole thing falls apart entirely. Maybe I'm a just schizo. It feels like my mind's splitting in half. I don't know. Don't be a shitstain.
It's been 2 and a half years since I left that shitty toxic friend but I'm still trying to let go of the anger and resentment over how he treated me before I left back home. My self esteem was already suffering at the time, I was stressed out, I was vulnerable, and when I was at my absolute worst condition before I moved back home, this friend decided it'd be fun to bully/mog/assert dominance over me. All I wanted was to be a good friend. I was incredibly stressed out in that city and just wanted a good friend to hang out with over the weekends, and I will admit, I wasn't good at setting boundaries with other people or standing up for myself. I wasn't good at recognizing when someone stops seeing me as a friend and more as an emotional punching bag. And I will admit, yes, I was envious of him. He seemed more able to attract and date slender women whereas that had always been a challenge to me all my fucking life, and it ate at my self esteem for a long, long time beforehand. I just wanted to gain this guy's acceptance and company to feel a little bit more alpha, I gave him rides in my car and paid for some of his meals when he was unemployed and then he decides to...mog me and make me feel like a huge bitch in retrospect
type III hypersensitivity alveolar inflammation
Almost a year later, I've finally admitted to myself that I was truly in love with my ex. It's not gonna change anything but it feels good to say that I guess
This feeling of self-loathing is so convincing. I wanna reach out and talk to someone but I feel threatened all the time because fight or flight's always going off. I'm just scared of being hurt, insulted, or judged. I know it's stupid, everyone feels like this, but that doesn't make the feeling go away, and I feel like the only fucking chump on the planet that can't get this right. Bitterness and resentment are becoming like quicksand, I can't resist them anymore. Everything feels so fucked up and I just want to stop being afraid.
Is it weird to tell people I've watched the sopranos twice and that I'm now on my third? If not is it weird on the 4th? Or 5th? Or 6th? When would it get weirdI work nights so I have a lot of time
This isn't a serious problem, but I'd really like some opinions on it.So my gf was talking to me about getting tattoos and piercings, and seemed really serious about it. I didn't like the idea because I couldn't imagine her with them, so I told her upfront. She started going off about how she can do whatever she wants with her body and how I need to be more open minded. Even though I agree with what she said, I still feel conflicted about it.Does anyone else agree that body mods are pointless? Or should I not give a shit in this day and age?
>>25663650Choices and actions have consequences. If you happen to do something she wouldn't like remember this situation if she goes through with it, without being vindictive. These types of decisions more than once will harm the relationship.
Since my wife is going to continue to compare me to her cheating exes despite everything that I've done, despite they were young and surrounded by women whereas I am working hard to struggle through every day and have no time to fix my tires let alone have an affair, and despite the fact that she's the one who's done sketchy but ultimately harmless behavior, I am going to do things that would hurt her feelings behind her back.She scrutinizes and rakes me over the coals for talking to someone I'd never ever touch, wrinkles her nose at me for mentioning fetishes in general when we've had kinky sex, and judges me for things I haven't done and won't ever do.So I'm not telling her about what I do.I'm not cheating but she's used up all her points. If I can't tell her innocent things without getting condemned, I'll do sketchy thing behind her back if I want to. I'm so done.
Things have just been weird lately.
>>25663729Sounds like it'd be healthier if you just broke up with her bro
You can't touch my nutsYou can't touch my nuts(damn)You can't can't touch my butt (fartbois out here!)I don't give a fuck, I don't give a fuck(oohh)You can't touch my nuts
>>25663772Break up with wife? Not the husband anon but have you read a marriage contract?
i wouldn't let us fail if i knew wholeheartedly you love me...
There’s a reasonable chance that some people can hear my inner monologue
It’s okay if people think it’s batshit, it’s like when people tell you about that time they swear a ghost did that one thing and you sort of nod and don’t believe them but give them the benefit of politeness. Similarly… it’s not really a problem for me, either… it’s just something weird that I thought up.
>>25663772If this one vent were the entirety of our relationship, you'd be right. Mostly it's very good. Better than one could expect. Just, fucking hell. I'm never innocent until proven guilty.Years ago, she complained to her family, not me, that I was coming home from work three hours late almost every day. Once she confirmed with them that it was pretty suspicious since I wasn't getting overtime, she confronted me about it. I pointed out that she was sending me to two or three stores almost every day in rush hour traffic. She was like "Oh. Yeah. Nevermind." Didn't bother explaining it to her family right away either.
Why do I always get women who don't know what they want?It's tiring and it erodes my soul more and more with every women I meet.Are mid-late 20s like that for everyone?
These prick who unannounced give unsolicited advice when you are doing fine with you being you are just a bunch of offended pussies.
I'm sick and tired of living in this crapsack world and not only being powerless but being told I'm supposed to just stop caring or that I shouldn't try to change anything.
>>25663809you'll need to trust me before that happens
I'm 24, possibly gay, and still a KHV. I feel like utter shit for not taking the chance in college to experiment, and now I'm staying in a rural area where I doubt there are many gay people. I might have Asperger's anyways, so maybe I'll just accept the fate of dying at 35 from an overdose of something.
Have you ever noticed that usually the Navy Seals who give advice tend to never actually have set foot on combat.
>>25663879No but I’ve also never been to the Navy Seals general threads
I'm so happy 'cause today I found my friends, they're in my headI'm so ugly, that's okay, 'cause so are you, we broke our mirrorsSunday mornin' is every day for all I care and I'm not scaredCheck my digits, in a daze 'cause I've found God
I’m so lonely
They world is a vampire
>>25663901Damnit autocorrect, I trusted you
Jannie are you in on it too
>>25663901sent to drayayayn
>>25663881I didn't even know they existed?
I know she’s whack. I’m sorry if she can read my thoughts. I do care about her. She has a soul.
>>25663916You could make one and put them on full blast
>>25663930I hope she’s okay. Stay safe, too.
Not sure where to put this and I don't feel like it deserves its own thread.But lately I've been worrying more about the fact I haven't felt into a girl for a few years. I still find women attractive and compelling in terms of wanting to spend time with them and talk to them and flirt and all that but somewhere along the way I seem to have lost the ability to develop feelings for women.I don't know if that's just getting older and having things make less of an emotional dent in me. Maybe if I actually dated a girl whose personality I liked then the feelings would come along shortly after. I've also been not-dating for reasons out of my control but that's changed now and I should be getting back to it soon. Hopefully I don't find myself unable to ever have romantic feelings for a woman ever again.
Give me a 4pass
I should have gotten an job over the holidays because I sort of been out of work since November / December and it won't pick back up again till March
They say if you give someone a hundred dollars and you never hear from them again that it was a good investment
>>25663958didnt hear it about hunnids specifically but yeah i suppose the premise is fair enough better to lose something you dont really care about rather than be let down in a time of need
Is it better to just continue living with undiagnosed ADHD when you can't afford healthcare and can't muster up the courage to get things done or is it better to just kill yourself?I don't have the courage to do the later, but I'm just wondering.
Holy shit I have been on 4chan for 7 hours.....Okay you all, I love you, but I got to focus on me not you. I'm not a counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. I'm not superman who can use his powers 24/7 and work a full time job while maintaining a relationship. I have a body and it can fail. I have things I need to focus on. I swear it's like 2:58 AM and I need to sleep. I'm a damn college kid, I don't really know anything. How the fuck does Batman do his thing 24/7?
>>25663965Why are you asking such a morbid question. I bet you have a more severe mental disability beyond ADHD if you are thinking this?
>>25663973Are you retarded? Nobody forces you to be on here, you don't have to be here 24/7 and you sure as hell aren't forced to only use the /adv/ board. Don't encourage people to shut up about their problems with this retarded message and go bed.and stop browsing /adv/, go to other board
>>25663977I have both ADHD and some form of Autism. I've been depressed for the last almost 10 years of my life.Don't know if I have a more severe one or not, I wouldn't know. I haven't seen a therapist since I was 16 and had no problems.I'm just asking would it be better to live in this situation because you have friends and people who do care about you but you're afraid you annoy them and they hate you; or, would it be better to take yourself out of this world because you can't get help, changing your habits doesnt' work unless it's either life threatening or is costly.I'm curious about it. I feel like I wasn't supposed to live past 20.
>>25663978???It’s okay, anon. It’s not literal. Glad you could vent some steam at any rate.
>>25663978>"Shut up about their problems"I don't know how I implied that. You sound cranky.
i feel like such an asshole sometimes but its just hard to moderate myself when im exhausted and people keep fighting over dumb shit
This entire time, I never helped anyone. I am retarded. Psychotic... So many others. It's like I committed multiple homicide.
>look at pppp smol>look at pp in mirrorpp bigWHICH REALITY IS EVEN REAL AHHHH
I need to eventually start living with T in his trailer park.
>>25664036I'm not seeing things clearly in this coddled environment I am in with my family. Usually T tells me things that are more associated with reality and what's going on in the world. I need to adjust myself more often to that than this stupid innocent goody two shoes bullshit I do a lot.
>>25664037and give up an opportunity to live in ignorance of flaws i cannot hope to address? that seems silly. i mean think about it if im having a bad day i can just take my pants off in front of a mirror and boom. big pp. if i know then i just have to find a way to cope with most likely being of unsatisfactory dimension.i think the real solution here is to only look at myself naked in mirrors. or maybe not at all. is it gay to look at your own pp? i dont even know anymore this is too deep.
I wish I wasn't coddled and had thicker skin.
>>25664057I am dealing with that too.
>>25662279I know I've made the right decision, it is always the right decision to not say shit when you know it's gonna cause conflict.
>>25661523that kinda makes it worse
"Anon you could be a counseler!"Why are old people this fucking retarded.
I legit fee; like giving up
Okay, I'm taking a ballsy move that I haven't in a while. In over 3 years of not watching R rated movies, I've decided to now watch one called Joker. It's an extremely controversial film that I now decided to watch for personal reasons. Now I'm not going to act like everyone else here who became weird major fans of the show, but I am watching it to get a better understanding.
I once convinced my aunt to come with me on the "Slingshot" ride because I was betting on her passing out. When she did pass out, I got a good feel of her breasts before she came to. I even got to put my fingers in her mouth and then sucked on them, just to taste her saliva.. Greatest childhood memories by far. I'm glad I didn't grow up to be some creep that made a hobby of taking advantage of unconscious women, but man was my aunt gorgeous. I still remember going to the bathroom and sucking on her toothbrush everytime i went over to her house as a kid...
I can’t control that about my body
I remember when our province was burning and our prime minister turned down a fleet of helicopters from the (pesky) Russians and instead flew in a hundred African bushwhackers to beat it out with palm branches.
I hope we can build a better world than this. Future people need not suffer so much
>>25661850Anon are you happy with your degree program?
>>25664283If there is anyone who can build a better world, it is not human beings. We are too greedy, too flawed. The best of us cannot trump the worse of us.
As the angels sing an old Hank Williams songTime marches on, time marches on
I don't fool myself with self pity wondering what could have been, things were never gonna be different, but I still miss you. You were amazing and I was a freak moron. I hope you can understand and forgive me, if you still remember me.
>>25664327Sometimes you cross my mind, but that's it. Let's both be better people from now on.
>>25664353Indeed. I prefer thinking the worst made me better.
>>25661990Could you please explain what is "wishywashy"? And what its exactly "he wouldnt jerk me around"? Like what makes you feel like that.
He's going out with a girl who's built like a fucking turkey. What the fuck rofl
There is someone I used to work with, haven't seen her in years, but I can't stop thinking about her.She was possibly the hottest person I've ever met, and that's about the only reason why. I was so attracted to her that it scares me.Posh English Jewish lady, cheekbones like a model, perfect skin, and I don't know anything about makeup but I liked the way she made her cheeks red.She was also better at the job than I was. Or at least she took a much more active role in meetings instead of just enduring them.
>>25664429Describe it. How does someone "shaped like a turkey" looks like?
>>25661224Submitted my uni project 5 mins after deadline. Fuck me bros. I played vidya for 2 whole days because I was anxious and it helped me cope with depression. Spent the last 4 days grinding the report only to submit it 5 mins late. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Okay I am almost done with the Joker film and it is very tragic.
Children take credit for other ppls workAdults encourage other people to do good things
I know girls should be comfortable around other girls but calling me a total loser hurt a bit. I won't deny it but I wish you would tell me what I'm doing wrong instead of outright insulting me. Isn't that what friends do...
I'm sorry for yellingplease just let me breathe
Things that other people seem to do so easily seem to always go wrong for me. I'm not even talking about it in an anxiety sense, although there is some of that too. Literally the simplest shit. And then I get lectured about how its so fucking easy, and IT SHOULD BE!Why am I always running into these random ass problems when things are sailing so smoothly for you? Why am I having to do all this extra shit for something that should be so easy? I don't know if you'll ever get it. And it makes me snappy and then I feel like an asshole.
Grezzo column is very cute ;_;
It all feels so hazy. I want to not live
When you start being visible in obscure spaces you start to learn that 4chan isn't such a bad place. It's comfortable, actually. You'll eventually turn into a schizo when you frequent sites with less than 300 users. You can sense that siteowners, jannies, and mods have a sense of who you are based on your posts (and IP I guess)
>>25664726You can get a feel for this in places like /vg/ or general threads, here in GIOYC we are usually very very anonymouseYou're usually given a nickname and people will start recognizing you and guessing you from your posts, it's creepy.
>>25664228>>25664518Now you get to watch Taxi Driver.
>>25664470like a ball on toothpicks.
Sometimes I don't feel bad about myself living alone. I really got used to isolate myself to avoid doing bad things to others.
>>25664935Nightmare fuel. Maybe there's hope for me but maybe not cause I'm a dude.
My love life is so fucked up. I have one partner I want emotional intimacy from and purely sexual, not even counting the other stuff. .I'm glad my parents don't know the extent of this.
>>25663846Irl? Definitely.Here on adv/? Not do much.
>>25663204not all magic is occultif you don't want to call Faith magic that's fine but that's the bridge i'm implying>>25663494mass psychosis eventbreaking point soon, then peace latertrust me, i am psychosis
>>25663991I think he took your vent in a thread about venting as a message to the venters to stop venting.>>25663973>How the fuck does Batman do his thing 24/7?I've been working my whole life on his model. The answer is threefold:Unfathomable resources [ ]Ironwill determination [X]Authoral fiat [?]I simply fail the best I can everyday, just like him.
>>25663982Dude. ADHD is manageable.Check out "How to ADHD" on YouTube. I just saw a video about the comorbidity with autism. You can be better.
the only boy i ever liked ended up fucking up and sucking off my friend in his sleep. friend group called rape and booted him outi talked to him once after it happened and we had literally the funnest night of my life, he shares my interests, he's understanding, et ceterai feel like those whore girls that want to say "I CAN CHANGE HIM!!!" about a drug dealer or an abuseri have no intention of dating him, but the older i get the more sad i am that he fucked up so badlyif you had kept it in your pants we'd be so close right now man, fuck
I think something about you has me thinking. You just want someone to listen to you. I think I can tell you just want to talk about yourself, which is fine, I’ll listen.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaI haven't had a job interview in forever aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaNo, I don't care about your dumb company just please make this easy
>>25664688Idk if it is related exactly, but I just got diagnosed with ADHD. I have struggled all my life to do things that other people can't do effortlessly. While I can do things that others do, it is extremely hard.The point is that I now understand there's a reason that I procrastinate even things that I want to do,that I can pick up on tiny nuances of criticism and then they feel like huge devastating blows,that my motivation and focus is all over the place,that I'm always late to everything,that I can work so hard and yet somehow seem lazy,that I feel like any measure of success that I earn isn't real.Almost all of my issues that I have been going through in life were directly related to part of my brain being formed differently, literally. And knowing what's the cause behind it helps. Like a lot of the things that are set up for success for other people are directly opposite of what helps people with ADHD. Fuck. There's a really good example that I'm not thinking of about how everything just goes wrong. Like how I try to do one thing but I can't because I need to do another thing first but I need to do those two things first and so then I try to do those three things and only finish four out of five of them and then completely forget that I didn't do the first thing that I intended to do in the first place and now I'm late. Even things as simple as how I lay out my kitchen can dramatically improve my functionality. I initially resisted the diagnosis because I don't have trouble focusing, or sitting still, and I didn't consider my fidgeting to be fidgeting.There's a reason why you are like you are and things go wrong. And it can be very frustrating for both partners when one of them is completely capable of doing something that the other cannot. It's not all your fault.There's a good video about this but I can't play any right now so I'm not sure this is the one.https://youtu.be/XbyN8REIhMk
I moved out of my dad's house last year so i wouldn't have to listen to the petty arguing every day. It went fine for a few months but my roommate's wife wanted her mom to take the office as their bedroom. Since her mom moved in it's been petty arguing every day that i hear from my room. I knew this was going to happen, told them about it and they denied that this would happen.
>>25661224I've been attracted to a few androgynous guys in my life but I don't like gay people. I don't know how to reconcile this so I just hide it.
i wish you'd stop assuming things about me when you barely got to know me to begin with
>>25665270HehThe trick to job interview questions is to always bring the answers so that you sound positive. One tricky thing they ask you is about your failures. The response they're looking for is for you to tell them how you failed but then turned it around. Like, failed to help a customer get what they needed but gave them advice and make sure they left happy. That nonsense.
>>25665403Forgot my pic>>25665270>No, I don't care about your dumb company just please make this easy
I cant rest. I cant fucking rest. My average sleep in a week its about 3hours and now I am on my period and it went up to 7hours the last 2 days I slept 10hours each day and I am still tired, I still need sleep why I am like this? I am tired always and at the same time I am in alert I am going insane
>Go to /GIOYC/ to make a post >Someone has already made a post nearly identical to the the one I wanted to make >This has happened 4-5 times already
>>25665453Stop reading other people's posts then
>>25661320I'm sorry for you. I know how you feel. I kept my sexual abuse secret for a while out of fear that nobody would believe me or care.
>>25665453I literally just reply and say "same"Also, same
>>25665487Addendum. I still haven't told anyone irl about it. Telling anyone, even an internet stranger was a hurdle. I don't care to tell anyone irl.
>>25661336Same. Been incredibly depressed, unmotivated and sleepy since i was 14. Work is always stressful for me. I worked for 5 years after i turned 18 and right now is the longest amount of time I've been unemployed. I've been unemployed since September and paying rent the whole time. It's so hard to work.
I still read zutara fanfics and I still can't believe why the end game for Katara was a child who had basically raised for some time That's it I got it out and also every other person who has a different opinion is wrong:)
>>25664428Sometimes he's just really responsive, especially in person, but then in other ways (like online or through texts) he's just very absent. Wishy-washy more in the sense of making plans and then not showing up, but recently it's evolved into him telling me he can't show up because of [x] but I guess I just feel unsure if he's avoiding me or not. But the fact he now is telling me he's not coming shows some consideration unlike before, I'm just being self conscious and worried.Realistically, I realize he's probably busy and I'm just wrapped up in my feelings but it just feels confusing because it's not consistent... I don't know, I think I mostly want to give up because I'm afraid of being hurt again, so I just want to reject it outright. I know it's a little silly and neurotic. I know even if we never ended up actually dating, he's still a friend I care a lot about and want to be okay. Thank you for asking, it helps me reflect on my feelings and realize when I'm just overthinking things and feeling sorry for myself. I'm just really nervous about getting rejected by someone I care a lot for, and sometimes that mentally makes me assume things.
>>25665446It's possible something is fucking with your sleep so that you're sleeping but your sleep is so bad that it doesn't help. When I got into a relationship my partner made little sounds of pain in their sleep and it wasn't enough to wake me but it was enough to rouse me slightly in my sleep. I was dead on my feet until I started sleeping with your plugs.Try removing the sound and light.
I'm a such an incel, god damn I don't think anyone is as a loser as I, I can't even have guy friends.
I hate how flaky the people I get virtual sexual gratification from are. I'm not expecting you to tend to my every urge but goddamn could you at least not disappear for multiple weeks and just pop into my inbox with horny shit like nothing happened?
>feel very melancholic all the time>no friends>never had a girlfriend before>start college in new city>force myself to be more confident>girl in my class gives me her number>ask her out to coffee>she says yes>feel like I'm walking on air>ask her out for a real date>she rejects me and stops responding to my messages>become sad and melancholic againEverytime I feel like life is actually starting to go well for me it just pulls the rug from under me like that. Now I'm stuck in a depressive stupour imagining what could have been no matter how hard I try to break through it.
Wish i didnt get fucked socially by some pot bellied faggot in like 4th grade that would have been cool i didnt even do anything either
>>25665344I actually relate to most of this although I'm not diagnosed with ADHD.The funny thing about all of this is that the person who was saying all these things to me HAS adhd. So it's kind of comical that everything seems so easy for them, but then again, they have their life perfectly streamlined to their needs while they're watching me figure everything out.I wonder if they're like that because they had to deal with it as well.>>25665403>>25665414KEK and yeah that's what I tried to do. It seemed to go well, but you never know with this shit. If I do get this job though, I'll be doing really well for my age, so I'm excited/nervous.
>>25665768Strictly speaking, I haven't been diagnosed yet because getting the appointments has been a bitch. But I'm quacking like a duck over here.>they have their life perfectly streamlined to their needs while they're watching me figure everything out.>I wonder if they're like that because they had to deal with it as well.That seems likely. You just need to figure things out and figure out how to streamline things for you as well. There was a whole video about clutter where people see, view, and respond to clutter in different ways. I used to leave little bits of clutter out as reminders to take care of things and I lived with someone who needed all surfaces to be bare or they got extremely anxious. Unfortunately, they put things "away" instead of "back". So I ended up finding my W-2 forms 3 years later in the middle of a magazine on a bookcase. Finding a balance takes a while. You just have to forgive yourselves and each other.>If I do get this job though, I'll be doing really well for my age, so I'm excited/nervousI hope you get it. I'm wishing you the best.
>>25665968yes, now go do something fun and stop blogging your every pointless thought daily
It was always unnecessary pressure but it really stings that once again I failed in love. Perhaps this time was just some bad luck but.. I really liked her
If I'm honest, it's killing me
I woke up today with that same piercing, plunging guilt, when will it ever stop?
What have you done, what have you done to yourself?
I've been through some shit man. Some fucked up dreams.
Hey gioycers you’re cool and I believe in you
Whatever your truth is whoever you are I do love you honey. I want to find my way home to you.
>>25666574Yes it does. You also missing the "vampire" part.
>>25661224Beautiful pic OP, I have it set on my desktop. We won, no more fighting. We did it. Is there any better feeling than this? It still hasn't sunk in...my whole life's work. There are no words to express how much love I feel for those who helped me. The more they helped, the more they will be rewarded in every sense. If I am killed now, I die perfectly content. I can understand why my father resisted death now - it wasn't that he was afraid, he just wanted to see all his life's work manifested out there. He didn't realize that it already was. I hope he knows now.
I ruined my life. I don’t want to make it to 30 or 40 I just want this to be over
>>25666709Beautiful things are happening out there, you have my word. Just wait a little while and repent. If there ever was a time to repent, it is now. Atonement.
>>25666451I bet you'd never believe me if I told exactly what I've been through but you will find out. It's not for the faint of heart. If a stupid woman like me can break through to the other side, anyone can.
Fuck whoever posted the fried rice lyrics yesterday. Now it's stuck in my head.
Pandora's box (no jokes) but there was always hope. That hope is eternal and the forgiveness is eternal, remember that. I know some will cry in shame (like I've cried my entire life) but I forgive you because I've done the same in a previous life.
>>25666780*fried noodlesexcuse me for being so uncultured. It's been years
Someone asks you for somethingyou get it and find something unusual delaying you giving said item to themThey get upset and throw things around, walk out of the room But for some reason they think i'm the problem. Because i found out something was missing.Like she literally could have said "what are you looking at" or "can i have whats in your hand", but nope throws things around the kitchen storms out and gets mad for the next 30+minutes.
>>25661224How do you get it across to your parents that you hate them
There is no way for them to win now. They also can't kill us, or our loved ones, without the world finding out. They can't harm us without everyone finding out. They can't get away with it now because the whole world will see it.
>>25666830I punched my mother and I will always regret that but that was the only way she could understand.
Oh and I don't hate her, I love her but what she was doing was ruining everything. It is not her fault though and I miss her.
>>25666808My mother is being unpredictable and idk how to deal with her right now. At the moment she's in the living room throwing stuff around the house. im scared of what shes going to do. I started recording through my desktop mirophone just in case she does something that causes the police to get called or something.
The only way a narcissist/selfish person will understand what they are doing wrong is if they are hurt themself. Even if they chop and murder billions of people it will not strike them as a bad thing to do unless it happens to them. They do understand love though in a warped sense. Admiration is something they crave. They want to recognized as good even if they are not good.
My typos always get worse when I'm emotional.
>>25666894Everything that happens is recorded now. It was always recorded anyway though.
>>25666127That doesn't sound like a fun kind at all. That's awful. I'm sorry.
>>25666949>and not softly eitherkek finally a reference I understand