24F, getting treated for depression but my therapist recently diagnosed me as schizotypical (dont fully agree but adding context to my situation). how do i make a guy my boyfriend? ive never experienced skin-to-skin contact and really want to try it, absolutely dont want to do a one night stand, being known to others (men especially in sexual way) terrifies me more than i can fully put into words but i have to do something about it. anyone who has dated a woman that is paranoid or distant please chime in
>>25095372Well you either want to put yourself in situations where a guy can ask you out like at a bar, or a social club, or start an online dating profile. Dating profile is probably the best idea as most guys are too scared to approach a girl IRL these days. Are you good looking? I always wondered if there are good looking girls out there who spend a lot of time on their own and have never had a boyfriend before or had much dating experience. I'm a tall good looking guy, most people think I'm a player but I've barely even dated in my life, always wondered if there are any girls out there like me.
>>25095372I can only imagine myself ever liking a woman like that, but they make it impossible to even talk with them let alone start a relationship, since they are so asocial. Of course that is why I would want to be with a girl like that, because I could really empathize with them.Would you be willing to talk with me?
>>25095372Do not date while mentally ill. You'll ruin your own life, and any kids you might have will be even more screwed.Stick to 2D husbandos.
>>25095392>expose yourself to congregations of the most degenerate and thirsty menWhat could possibly go wrong?Retard.
>>25095649>Do not date while mentally ill. You'll ruin your own life, and any kids you might have will be even more screwed.this is right.but its not good to isolate yourself. Set boundaries and goals.if you got your eye on a particular guy, just hang out, and not alone with eachother, in open and public settings. get your feet wet for a while, while you are working on yourself. Don't try to escalate a relationship.
>>25095653>expose yourself to congregations of the most degenerate and thirsty men>What could possibly go wrong?Spotted the incel. In real life this is how normal single people meet each other retard. Her only other option is joining some social group like a sport or hobbie, or meeting someone through her work, which I don't think she has.
>>25095704>normal single peopleWhat is normal is not what is good, moron. "Normal people" also divorce over half the time. People with mental illnesses divorce even more than that.And there are plenty of other settings where people who aren't rampaging degenerates meet.
>>25095768>"Normal people" also divorce over half the time.that's mostly just boomers
>>25095792Half-true. The newest generations' relative divorce rates have flatlined or even dipped slightly, because the most degenerate cohorts (i.e. the types who want to drunkenly fuck strangers or go onto the meat market of dating apps) now don't bother getting married in the first place.Spoiler, though: cohabiting relationships split up even more than marriages.
>>25095662>get your feet wet>dont try to escalate to a relationshipim assuming you mean get to know him in a relaxed setting and wait to gauge interest, then ask him for coffee? i guess there's one guy i'm willing to try this on but i'm terrified and have no idea how he'll react. if ive been around him multiple times for school related stuff how would i transition to being around him one-on-one? if he actually found me attractive he'd speak up first right? >>25095392dont people go to bars mainly for casual sex?>are you good looking6 at best
>>25095372walk outsidecongratulations you made it
>>25095844>i'm terrified and have no idea how he'll react.maybe not terrified, but being nervous about an approach is normal, and is typically the default position of guys anyway because of their higher typical rejection rate>if he actually found me attractive he'd speak up first right? not necessarily anymore. a guy has many more social and environmental worries that they didn't have just 10 years ago, and overall will be more guarded
>>25095844>dont people go to bars mainly for casual sex?No, they go to drink.You absolutely can go to a bar and get sex if you are a woman, but most women don't do that. Guys are way more inclined to say yes to a free prostitude than a woman is to work for free.So no. This doesn't happen often and nobody expects it to happen at all.
>>25095372>how do I make a guy my boyfriendNot a great approach. What's in it for the guy?What do you have to offer that you want to offer? What do you think men want from you?I think you're looking for a man to solve some personal problems and while one might relieve some symptoms, I think you need to get yourself on an even keel before getting into a relationship. Good luck!
>>25095372>anyone who has dated a woman that is paranoid or distant please chime inShe wanted to date me because we share the same enemies. So I can't relate to your situation.
>>25095649>Do not date while mentally ill.It's fine if it's just depression.Don't do it if it's ADHD or BPD or Bipolar or something else that makes you fail at controlling yourself.
>>25095844> if he actually found me attractive he'd speak up first right?Not necessarily. If he doesn't perceive any interest on your end, then many men won't risk bringing it up.Also keep in mind that many guys, if they're approached first, will accept even if they're not that interested in you. Some of these guys aren't malicious--they're just giving you a chance (and taking an opportunity that presents itself)--but whether they are or not, be careful not to take it as an instant confirmation of strong interest. Let that be established while you see each other.Don't make the mistake of giving out sex to keep their attention, either. Such types will only use and discard you if you try, and that's made more likely if you're mentally ill. To protect yourself (and also to give your relationships the best chances of succeeding) wait as long as you can before doing anything sexual, and don't let yourself get pressured into it.
>>25095882>Have ADHD, PTSD, substance abuse issues, depression, and some minor issues with anti social personality traits >Will never be without mental issues>No one will ever get me, I don't even feel love anymore People keep telling me to stay positive and be patient because the right one is around the corner but I'm pretty goddamned sure I'm living in top 1% of horribly irredeemable lives. Most of my close friends are ex cons and former meth heads ffs. Its a miracle I'm not homeless or dead let alone finding someone to love.
>>25095882>Don't do it if it's ADHD or BPD or Bipolar or something else that makes you fail at controlling yourself.Lolol, I have two boyfriends and we ALL have various neurodiversities/fairly serious mental illness. We have fantastic communication and trust and thick asses, going on three years together!
sleeping skin to skin sucks
>>25095372Learn methods to relax yourself and learn how to know when you're on the brink of an episode, thats the most constructive way to achieve what you're looking for
>>25095372don't date people when you're not right in the headsee people because it's healthy for youavoid seeing single men because as you realized yourself, they WILL view you in sexual wayits ok to 3rd wheel sometime and see pair of friends, dont overthink it
I'll cuddle with you platonically if you want, for money.
>>25095372I thought that dude’s back was a butt.
>>25095882Wait why not ADHD?
>>25095372I hope it never works out for you so at least one female can have a taste of what we suffer through on a constant basis.
>>25095885>>25096079this is very helpful, thank you. i am working with my therapist on this but wanted to get a male perspective>>25096257i’m trying to overcome this anon, i can’t 3rd wheel forever>>25096356tempting. i considered this option irl but i wouldn’t even know where to look/don’t want to end up like holden caulfield
>>25097189>i am working with my therapist on thisAnd you will continue to do so for decades and nothing will ever change. You're broken and useless.
>>25097935> And you will continue to do so for decadesnot a bad thing, some people have depression for decades but that might not be me>and nothing will ever change. You're broken and useless.i don’t believe that
>>25097958>i don’t believe thatRemember this thread in 30 years and weep. If you haven't off'd yourself by then.
>>25097974will do! :)
>>25095980>I have two boyfriendsCorrection, you are all whores
>>25095768dont get marriedproblem solved
>>25095372wow you must be fucking hideous if you legit can't find a guyThat's literally the one thing you're good at is giving men pussy but your pussy is so rank that dudes don't want italso you'll always be mentally ill because you don't know what you want nor will you ever because guys lead every relationships you will always be lost without men to guide youyou're also useless
>>25095372Are you interested in other aspects of a relationship like hobbies/spending time and being generally emotionally available? (ie not shutting off conversation about your emotions) usually being distant or paranoid is a thing that gradually eases with the more time you spend with someone and become more comfortable, but I obviously don't know the extent of your condition so it's hard to say. If you are comfortable with a long term committed relationship then your concerns about being distant will just take some time and sincere communication. I wish you best of luck.
>>25095372>>25097189Femanon if u are 24, u should be able to get sex if u really want to. Like its really easy to have a ons as a girlAre u in uni or working? Are u working on yourself? Just dont be fat