She wants to breakup because she's become to dependent on me, and she's worried that if we continue, she'll become reliant on me and will begin to resent me. I've been with some girls, but I genuinly love this girl so god damn much. Every little thing she does makes me warm inside. We work so perfectly well together. Every arguement we've had, we've been able to talk through it and come to a resolution. But now we've come a sort of crossroad.I can't argue with her, because I agree that she has to learn how to be alone. Basically she's saying she's so used to being with me, she's worried that if and when we break up she wont know how to cope.I don't know what to do. We don't have sex because she's never horny. I never get as little as a hand job. Being a man, I crave physical/sexual attention, but fuck me, I love her so goddamn much. I feel so safe with her. She always does what I say (besides the sex thing) and puts an effort to cheer me up when I'm gloomy. She makes me feel so special. I feel gay saying it but its all true. Everyone says we look genuinly in love and it just makes me so happy that I'm dating this gorgeous girl. If we split, I feel like I won't find anyone who's this good to me. Have any of you found love after love? What should I do?
>>24924345it's overor you could convince her to not only go to therapy but couples therapy otherwise break up now
Bump. Good luck anon
She's actually asking if you're reliable if she commits to you.
>>24924429I don't know. She's never pulled this type of subliminal messaging shit before. She's saying that she wants to be able to happy outside of a relationship. I'm jsut so lost.
girl drama man, shes slowly roping you into her clutches. YOU sound like YOU are DEPENDENT on HER! not the other way around. she has cast a spell of love on you and there is little chance you'll get out of this one without a lot of fuss, or somehow you manage to work it out and live a life of contention. i'm not a christian but here's a verse from proverbs.Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman. prov 21:9
>>24924444so many girls are like this bro. i'm serious. they want to have you, but not the commitment factor required to have an actual relationship. they want freedom but security of a man. it never works bro, and it never will. you will always be insecure with her and worried she is going to bail any moment. find a faithful girl, they are rare but they exist. and also find ways to make yourself more high value. you sound a little insecure.
>>24924465I definitely have self image issues. I get told I'm hot by other people but i dont see it. She says I'll find someone who'll make me happier than she ever could but I don't know I seriously doubt it.
>>24924475honestly you're annoying me nowyeah, I see why she'd want to leave
>>24924480How do you personally deal with a break up?
The logic is retarded.>If we break up it would be difficult for her to deal with it>So let's just break up now Ask her what the hell she plans on doing in the future? Stay single forever? If you're both really happy together then there isn't a real reason to break up. Idk man, I'd confront her that its retarded and completely unfair to you. Does she plan to break up and then just repeat the process when she becomes too close? Shouldn't she just be glad that it works out so easily now?
>>24924496That's what I figured but I'm her first everything. Her parents are divorced and she's petrified of becoming her psycho mom. She want's to get used to being alone, so that when she has to be alone, she can cope, I guess.
>>24924345>She wants to breakup because she's become to dependent on me, and she's worried that if we continue, she'll become reliant on me and will begin to resent me.>Basically she's saying she's so used to being with me, she's worried that if and when we break up she wont know how to cope.The obvious solution to her being worried about not being able to live without you is to never break up and live your whole life together. But this doesn't seem like something she wants anon. I'm sorry, but from what you're saying, it seems that she doesn't love you like you do. She's just used to being with you. She has already checked out of the relationship, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it..I've been there anon. I can only say hang in there. Life is a bitch, and you get used to anything in time.
>>24924345play on her female nature. Just break up with her and act like 'you care but it wont bother you too much'. SHe'll begin to feel insecure and then crawl right back to you. I do it to my girlfriend all the time. she's tried to breakup with me like 5 times and i just let her. then she changes her mind last minute and things go back to normal. idk if that will work in your situation but it might be worth a try.
>>24924506>so that when she has to be alone, she can copeAnd why does she have to be alone?
>>24924522Seems kinda fucked up. I'm not that type of person.
>>24924528oklet your gf go then
>>24924526I guess she means that if worse comes to worst she can be by herself
>dumb cunt throws a curve ball for no reasonIt is a shit test. Put her back in her box and she will submit.
>>24924345Tell her how much you love her, and that if she wants to put up some boundaries you will respect it, but you want to try and make it work because you love her so much>>24924364Pessimism, but therapy could be helpful
>>24924528You'll probably lose her and then she'll get trapped with a guy like me who knows how to get what he wants. I was just giving you actually effective solutions. But go ahead and be the 'nice guy'. see where that gets you.
>>24924522>yfw I did this and it didn't workMy GF clearly wanted to break up with me but didn't have the balls, so I pushed her into it. Even saw her a few weeks later at a bar, acted super chill told her hope she's good, then I made out with some chickStill haven't spoke since the break up lmaoWhat does this mean
>>24924568means you've moved onor if you're mentally ill, means your girlfriend has low self esteem and deems herself not worthy of you
>>24924568idk man. it works for me. maybe you did it wrong.
>>24924556I’m not the “nice guy”, I just don’t fuck with psychological manipulation.
>>24924585so you're a nice guy
>>24924585We all manipulate each other every day without realizing it. Women do it almost constantly. There's nothing wrong with being aware of it and consciously doing it for your own benefit. Besides, I'm a great guy otherwise.Anyways, I don't care. good luck.
>>24924574I didn't want to move on tho I wanted her back kek
>>24924607no you don't
>>24924610I guess not now it's clear she don't give a flying fooookoh well
>>24924345Like many cases, probably she has a dismissive avoidant attachement style and cant cope with the proximity and the enmeshnebt that comes with the relationship. This comes from a fear of suffering your loss as she put it, and this stems from emotional trauma in early life. This also explains the lack of sex from her behalf, as its related to intimacy.Basically, you both need to understand attachement theory and she needs yo hmgo to therapy to understand the source of this patterns and aim to change how she feels about a relationship.If she does in fact breakup with you, say that this is not wgat you want and refuse to be her friend afterwards. Say to her that its a relatiomship or nothing and go no contact from your end. Once she is out of the relationship, she will crave your company and try to contact you. It may take months. This is because she no longer feels smothered by the proximity and the triggers to her trauma are gone. But keep in mind that she will be acting cold for most of the time, as she will dissociate from her feelings. This is an automatic way of coping.Once she contacts you, you have to establish that this pattern will ensue again and again in her life and not only to you. Be firm to say that if she wants to come back, she needs to better herself.Contacting from her end can be really indirect. If she already knows what I told you, and she is playing dumb, dont bother answering her. She needs to see the truth and the truth may hurt deeply, so be patient.
>>24924486drinking to much and fucking other people. being very sad for a while then a bit less. until it fades away. and then you meet somebody else. rinse and repeat.
>>24924506>Her parents are divorcedshe's damaged and never solved the problem herself, rough
>>24924345SHE WANTS TO HAVE SEX WITH A DIFFERENT GUYRead between the lines my dude. ANY time a girl says she "needs a break" or "wants to find herself" or "needs to see the world" she means she wants to be fucked sideways by a different dick a day for a month. You accept the game is up, you let her go, you cut contact. You spend some time being sad, then pissed, then you accept it and get on with life. And next time you get a gf who is a better match.
>>24924345>she'll become reliant on me and will begin to resentYeah that's not a real answer and code for I want to have sex with other menAccept the break up because the short term pain is better than being upset when you find out she's cheating on you later