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>>24921355
I CANT FUCKING SLEEP!!
I WANT TO FUCKING SHOOT THIS SHITSTAIN OF MY BRAINS OHT BECAUSE THIS RETARDED ASS GOOP CANNOT FUCKIN SLEEP AND THEN IT RUINS THE REST OF MY DAY BEING TIRED WHILE HYPERACTIVE WHEN IT NEEDS TO SLEEP!!!
I WANNA FUCKING HIT IT WITH A HAMMER!!
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>>24921387
The trick is to work out like mad in literally all of your free time to make yourself so tired you literally pass out at night. Really hard to find the motivation tho.
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I fucking abhor and despise Western society like you wouldn't believe.
But it's the best thing we will ever get in our lifetime.
And that makes me almost - ALMOST - want to fucking kill myself.

There is no coping mechanism for this. I play video games. Unlike most people, I don't hate myself for it. They're amazing. Great escape from the shitness of life. But as soon as I'm out of the game, it's back to the fucking terrible utter shitness of reality.

I workout.
I take martial arts. Plan to rent a basement where I can do it on my own in addition to the classes I take. Lots of money overall but it's worth it, I think.

Still...
Hard exercise gives me a dopamine kick for a few hours. Then that's gone. Reality kicks in again. Life is garbage.

Companionship, a soul mate, might drive the blues away for good but I've long given up on that. Women are cucked out of intelligence and empathy by being born with silverspoon in hand. They value financial security or social benefits in a man. I'm not about that. No desire to ever be. I do not have my retirement planned out, for all I know I'll starve to death on the streets as an old man. I also keep to myself, I don't get anything out of most "social events", especially bars and anything involving alcohol. Some might tell you being fit is enough to attract a girl, big lie, at least it is if you're 5'9 and balding. Not that I really care about how I look, that has never kept me up at night. The reality of life being shit distracts me too much for me to hate myself.

I played a game once, people hate it, I thought it was ok, called Dark Souls 2.
In it, there was a line:

"To be alive, to walk this earth...
that's the real curse right there."

Fuck this gay ass faggot planet and the shitty garbage human race that we are.
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>>24921355
I'll need to spend at least two more years in university to finish my degree but I hate it
I'm just too much of a lazy retard for higher education but I don't want to drop out and disappoint my parents even more than usual
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I struggle with intimacy and communication and have shitty relationships (family/never dated/suck at work). This has been a problem my entire life that stems from being molested as a kid. I feel like I’m past the point of return at almost 24. I want to be touched by another person without fearing a mental breakdown, I want to not feel constantly dissociated. I started therapy and it’s been really hard but I don’t see it getting better.
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>>24921355
My sister and her husband recently had a kid and I am fucking terrified of being an uncle. I hate kids. But I want to be a good uncle and I don't know what to do. I've just been kind of treating my nephew like I treat my dog, which I guess is kind of working because he's not even 1 year old yet so he has no idea what the fuck is going on, but I'm scared that when he becomes a toddler or whatever that he won't like me. How do I be a good uncle?
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>>24921931
Keep it up, I am male and I wasn't molested so I can't really say how that's impacted you. but I was in your position in what seems every other way. Dad died young, black sheep of the family, everyone hated me, no friends. etc. I'm almost 30, working on it in my 20's helped a lot.

That said I came into this thread because I feel like crying with someone. I never realized how nice crying with a friend would be until this moment.
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>>24923008
Good uncle for the kid? Always keep an eye on him. Not as much as his parents but be on the look out and have a general idea of where he's at just so he doesn't get into anything stupid.
To make him like you just hang out with him, move things around in front of him, blow bubbles into his belly. Make fart noises, dance at him, pick him up and carry him around. Figure out what he likes or what makes him laugh and be a presence in his life. He's going to cry now and then, it's ok. As he gets older show him things like how to wash a plate, how to throw a ball, ride a bike, etc. You're -almost- like a parent without any of the actual responsibility depending on how much free reign his parents give you.

Just an example but my niece was laying on our wood floor in the kitchen once staring up at the ceiling so I grabbed her by the feet and pulled her to the other end of the kitchen sliding her the whole way. She absolutely -loved- it. So I spun her around and did it again until I was too tired to keep going. When kids are little it's just things like that which make them like you. Be a man of your word with a child and they'll often respect you.
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>>24923060
Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. I appreciate this. I'm going to screen shot your post and save it for later, when he grows up lol
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>>24923076
You're welcome. Just remember to let his parents set the example. You aren't his dad, don't step on toes.
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>>24921355
Is this real? It would unironically make me so glad if he regained his friendship I actually hate indians but it would make me happy anyway
Anyway I fucked up my only relationship and it ended recently, I'm slowly having breakthroughs about what went wrong (spoiler: basically all my fault). I wish I could get another chance now that I get it though, but I know that's out of my hands. Just feels like I'll never meet another person who clicked with me so well in so many ways, and even if I did, I stubbornly want to stick to my first relationship because it's the first. Day by day, day by day...
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>>24921743
You hate stuff. Why?
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>>24923127
Wait there's a backstory to this image?
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>>24923334
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>>24921355
I feel really down
>got ghosted by the last 10 women I asked out on dating apps
>looking for a job since april, got rejected a ton
>I'm a terrible worker due to ADD, meaning even if I find a job I'll be in constant fear and struggle
>mom died a year ago and I'm still not over it
>have one best friends who's gone for a couple of months
>with other friends I'm always the one initiating stuff, it feels more like they tolerate me then wanting me
>got beaten to a pulp in training yesterday by a guy even though I asked to spar lightly twice and I've trained with him for years
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>>24921355
I wish I had more money :(
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I wish I had something to talk about. Everyday in lockdown is just like the last. I have no one to talk to... well that's not true, but I can't be fucked actually reaching out to friends. Fuck this is boring. I don't even know what to do.
>>24923599
I feel you anon. Hard to deal with the constant rejection from job and women
>I'm always the one initiating stuff,
You'll always be doing this even with the friends who genuinely want to hang out with you, see my predicament
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>>24921355
Mice show a definite increase in birthrate in US Presidential election years.



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